#Idk I have ADHD but I'm not sure it would affect that

[dnalt-d2]

Guys don't be a writer

Don't do it

One day you're gonna use a figure from mythology/religion as a secondary character in your story thinking he's nothing but a basic bitch practically nameless guy and then one day when you try to make a ranking system you'll find out that actually that character represents your zodiac sign in some circles, then in an effort to clarify what the hell happened there you'll find out he has another name that denotes that he's a SUPER big deal and also has another-nother name that's EXACTLY the same as your online pen-name and then that their power somehow perfectly fits the power system you've made for this story and then randomly you'll also find out that someone else used this character as the base for a DC character (Yes the comics) and you'll basically find some of that information in one night and then the rest over the next three years after the initial discovery and then one night three years later you'll find out something new about it that says that the original name you picked is actually this other big-name guy who's the entire leader of a rank that you ignored initially when making said ranking system and

I'm fucking spiraling guys

*EDIT

I HAVE POSTED THIS TO THE WRONG ACCOUNT AGAIN

I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE I AM NOT REWRITING THESE NOTES

[running-in-the-dark]

and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.

[neverendingford]

.

[guardian5tiger3]

An honest love reading (general)

Pick a picture -

1 2

3 4

Group one

A cycle has just been completed in terms of love and romance and either you or someone else did not this to happen. They're almost like, dramatic about that.someone involved , you or someone connected to yourself somehow, is overly focused on love and it stresses them out and it feels extreme though I can't pick up on any situation extreme enough to justify this. Someone could have insomnia and or hair loss you could also possibly see someone's tiredness in their eyes. Someone's money might be affected. I keep picking up on a a group of, as in multiple, people. Either someone here is polyamorous and if that's the case it has something to do with denial about something or the want to be in control of something or someone, or for others there's a group of people you're dealing with and they're "heated " about something . I also heard " eyeing you" who the hell uses phrases like this if you know that's a confirmation for ya. You have a group of people somewhat obsessed they seem like obsessed people in general they may be obsessed with something to do with you or just you, I'm also picking up on one individual who has something to do with you that (is very weird, and the groups I'm picking up on more or less give me weird vibes,) well connected to this person I'm getting something about childhood and I'm seeing candy this is really weird and I just involuntarily made an angry or confused look with my eyebrows you know I pushed them down I don't know why. This person may have known you for a long time or thinks they do or something idk this is super strange g make sure you're not overly trusting of every single person ever in your life you know. Someone also could be trying to take something that isn't theirs. Lock your doors , literally. Wow.sorry y'all . Genuinely. I also am somehow picking up on someone's long straight hair and something about glitter. I also saw a purple dress.

Group Two

You guys are easily manipulated and people who are going to want to manipulate you can notice this probably way more than you can about yourself also someone needs to not bite their fork when they take a bite of food it's bad for your teeth I don't know how or why that would come up for me to say sorry. Somebody needs to literally or metaphorically open a window. Um you're on the path to love and it will happen exactly when it's supposed to how it's supposed to with who it's supposed to and honestly unless you really go out of your way you may not have any romance at all until then even if that isn't what you want like for some reason I guess it depends but either your soul wants people in the meantime or you want someone sooner or what I don't know it just don't work like that though you know. I'm generally getting like if you're the type to hope your person isn't with anyone else before they meet you then this is probably for you also. Or your person is like this and I guess they are somewhat powerful cause therefore that's the way it's gonna be and in the meantime I guess you're gonna have to be solo. Somehow this seems better and more productive for your personal development than learning by Interacting with other people and being with "karmics" and stuff.

Group Three

I'm seeing two energies that are basically, literally, nothing alike. Yet somehow they're paired up. You're with this person right now in the past or future or you wanted or want to be with them lol. Some of you it's your soulmate ,though and that's really special and actually really cool and refreshing. Like 99% of you are supposed to at least at one point be with someone like this to you. Or for like very few of you this is just about your signs like fire and water but I really doubt that's as far as it goes you are probably very different either way. You guys are very deep and cool refreshing people very beautiful , good listeners and balanced. Someone has ADHD or something else so you might doubt the good listener thing I'm getting but I think you pay attention to detail or something like somehow this is still infact accurate and you may be don't see it about yourself . I think you all are very deep mentally and have a deep capacity to hold a lot lot lot of information, knowledge, wisdom, n stuff. A lot of people might be drawn to you or notice you and also possibly a lot of different types of people as something about you a lot of different people can still connect with somehow. Yeah also someone's a hater here though and they might tease you with something somehow so I really hope you stay aware of that possibility, realize this about whoever they are and stand up for yourself basically I feel like you have the potential to retaliate and as long as it is nothing illegal I kind of feel like saying I want you to . ????????? I don't know o feel like it would be really satisfying maybe to your guides or it is when you do, fight back or argue cause you're good at it and it would not be easy to win against you or come up with any comeback especially if you plan something. Wow. Hahaha. I'm leaving it here.

I heard desperado and I know three songs called that well two are just remixes of the og you could look up the og or the Mike bars desperado lol . Or just the word maybe is significant, goes with your picture anyway. I feel like most of you that will hear the song will just like the song lol . I can dig it

Group Four

There was a conditional love given and when this was taken away it had someone really stressed out and hurt. Someone was being a complete dick that was giving love conditionally and then stopped . I feel like the shit they do or say is old as f... Like it's ugly and getting old man anyway. This very well could be past energy like long long ago for some of you. This person might have lied. They might be selfish. They may be downplaying your come up or they will when you do come up. Or some , even saying you don't deserve it but I'm being shown you very clearly do. Like this person only gets dustier through time nobody is ever gonna pick up this old kick knack and undust them theyre old and lame. I'm picking up on like, when people say the type of person that peaked in high school. Yeah so this person has their qualities but eventually everyone's like ok whatever yawn. They're definitely super greedy as I just got a card saying " GREED " lol. In terms of future love y'all will be good I'm picking up generally most of you just need to become more comfortable within yourself first and I'm picking up on like cozy night chilling and watching movies and stuff by yourself or with a pet even a friend but you get me just learning to be content also and have good times like that without the need for someone else romantically. Either way somehow some time after you get into that energy a person will come along softly and surely and it will be really nice and happy . Around that time maybe shortly after you will have something happen positive when it comes to work or their work . I also channeled the movie my big fat Greek wedding as I was channeling this last part haha so I thought I should mention that, I know I'm partially Greek and always loved that movie. Someone might like telling stories ? But yeah in the movie she has a glow up and then she sees this guy she thought was cute again and things just worked out and he asked her out and they fell in love it was just simple smooth and sweet and the timing matched up with what I said may happen for you so that's really cute y'all stay hopeful and focus on relaxation. And for some of you if you know this is true though also studying .

[stopthatfool]

also what are some of your favourite mav headcanons? Or just thoughts about top gun in general your opinions are so correct

another one! YAAAAAAA! thank u cal i will now yap. (warning all my headcanons stick really close to canon and aren't very like.. "fun." they're more or less just crazed character analyses)

thinking about THE mav is not a twink post i made like a month ago. i saw someone call it the "twink mav discourse" and honestly it's my magnum opus. my friend took a pic of me holding up a sign that said "I started top gun tumblr discourse" it was great.

other than that, I definitely think mav has adhd. I mean that's how i write his thought processes at least. I always think of him skipping over words when reading, not due to "inattention" but just because he's eager to get to the point, or he just automatically thinks the smaller words are less important, therefore can be skipped. (I do this all the time. I'm really terrible at reading out loud because of it.) Plus the classic mav acting without thinking is straight out of the adhd diagnosis. and the "appearing to be unable to listen to or carry out instructions."

That being said, i don't think mav would ever consider himself to have adhd or even think of it as an option. I'm very much on that "mav and ice are middle aged men who were in the military during the reagan administration therefore they definitely have some questionable beliefs and understandings of the world because and the environment of which they were trained." like mav is the type of guy to be like "ok you have adhd, that's fine i guess. but I don't. what r u talking about. like sure all these symptoms apply to me but i am the outlier i don't have a disability." Same with Ice and him reading all the OCD symptoms, my guy would literally just take it as proof that he's a really good soldier and further perpetuate his own OCD habits (no, ice! don't do that same movement over and over again until it feels right! ur spiraling ice! someone help him!)

I also have lots of feelings of how Ice and Mav would/wouldn't show physical affection. like i don't think they hold hands in public and I think it's a mix of DADT, internalized homophobia, and honestly wanting to keep their relationship as private as possible (which one could argue is another effect of DADT and simply being queer and in the american military in the 80s. like how did they not kill themselves, they're stronger than me). idk this is already getting long and convoluted so i will now stop.

[sailing-ever-west]

had a nonverbal episode yesterday and naturally am coping with autistic blorbos so it got me thinking about nonverbal Luffy and how that would affect the plot, especially with a character who is typically, well, yelling all the time.

like canon Luffy can't really keep his mouth shut and this causes many problems but I fully believe that he would be able to wreak just as much havoc if not more without ever talking.

him using sign language is super cool for a starting place, but

1. I'm honestly not sure who would've taught it to him because he didn't have a consistent education or guardian so what he knows is probably somewhat incomplete/rudimentary. Garp would've made a solid attempt I think but he probably would've tried to do it in like a strict lesson format and Luffy's brain would just ADHD straight outta there, but I think he still learned the basics.

2. Signing wouldn't always work to communicate because not everyone knows it so he would still often have to find other ways to get across what he's saying. The crew would learn sign and just get used to his various other ways of communicating but people all over the world when they're traveling can't be counted on to know stuff.

Random ideas I have

keeping a little flag with a jolly roger on it in his pocket and just pointing to it to tell people he's a pirate

just not bothering to try to communicate with people who have oficially pissed him off. sorry loser your privileges have been revoked I'm just gonna punch you now

marines getting really annoyed at first because they think he's staying silent to snub them and then realizing he just can't talk but by the time they figure that out he's already down to fight them anyway

stretching his arms into shapes of things to get an idea across

quickly drawing illustrations (not terribly helpful because he's awful at it, but he continues to do it anyway)

Zoro/someone else on the crew explaining things to a new person and Luffy just nodding proudly like yep that's my crewmate they get it :))

still makes Noises. nonverbal =/= quiet and boy does Luffy prove that

He used to sign "food" at Sanji but eventually he just Shows Up in the kitchen or approaches him with big eyes and Sanji knows what he wants

there's a rumor going around that he communicates with his crew telepathically because people cannot figure out HOW the ideas are getting across

asks people to join his crew by just showing them the little flag and motioning to follow him. once you come with him there's no going back he's like ok you're my best friend forever and within like 24 hours you're like well I guess I'm on a pirate crew

doesn't say gum gum when he does a move he just starts screaming. it's like far more terrifying and villains have no idea what's happening until they're being punched in the face by a nonverbal teenager in flip flops

basically take how abrupt and confusing Luffy already is to everyone else in the world and then imagine he doesn't announce anything before doing it

Thinking of doing some little fics or mini comics of major scenes in this AU idk

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

Christine Canigula was socially ostracized & developed a complex to protect herself: an essay

(suddenly i NEED to infodump about Christine actually so here)

Something I only noticed on rewatch: the way Christine will say something silly and then just kind of gingerly wait to see if Jeremy reacts well to it before continuing, almost like she's asking permission?? (e.g. the gap after the first stanza of "Play Rehearsal"). And it's only after he riffs off her bowling alley bit that she feels comfortable talking about her personal feelings with him (right before "Guy that I'd Kinda be Into"). The same happens with their "weird noise" exchange immediately before "It's pretty killer to sit and chat with you." I know theater relies on being succinct, and that 'bonding over shared quirks' and 'feelings talk' are both just crucial parts of relationship development... but I don't think it's a coincidence that it always goes in that order!

It's like Jeremy has to pass these *trials of weirdness* before she feels safe opening up to him and it drives me BONKERS so I wrote a whole 1000 word thing about it under the cut and this got too massive and I'm sorry. Also some autistic Jeremy meta at the end if that sweetens the pot hehehe

Table of contents:

Why she was ostracized

How she was ostracized

How that might inform her pattern of relationship development with Jeremy and Jake

How gender caused Jeremy's experiences to differ from hers, and how that affects their current relationships with "popularity" and peer acceptance.

1. Why she was ostracized

I am just so certain that Christine has been bullied or at least majorly outcast for a lot of her life. She's very obviously neurodivergent and because of that she can have these obnoxiously deep and repetitive interests, she can't judge if a piece of information will be genuinely interesting to someone, and she doesn't take social cues very well.

She frequently interrupts people when they're talking (an ADHD symptom btw), even when they're literally talking to her about the thing she wants to hear!

(C: "Do you find that? Because I totally find that!" J: "Uh, yeah, I-" C: "-And no matter how hard I try....")

(J: "I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but-" C:"Jeremy, just... say what's on your mind.") (girl I'm sorry but that's what he was doing..... I have a whole other thoughtpiece on how this particularly fucks with Jeremy while they're dating but thats another thing...)

She doesn't seem confident in her interpretations of people's emotions and she'll ask/talk about them point blank (both theirs and her own) in a way a lot of people would find rude

("Uh, you seem really nervous...") ("Popular people are fucked up! *mutual laughter* …I mean, you're one of them!") ("I am flattered, this is new / still I'm not sure what I should do" <- as a response to getting asked out, that's pretty bold! Plus the entire part where she laughs at Jake's "rich boy routine") (also compare and contrast to Jeremy's "I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." idk. are your allistic stage dorks in the room with us right now motherfuckers)

I'd go on about her hyperfixations/special interests too but I think Play Rehearsal pretty much sums it up lol

2. How she was ostracized

All this to say that I am CERTAIN she spent a lot of her schooling having "nice girls" patiently let her sit with them at lunch for weeks at a time until they finally get sick of her rambling and faux pas. Only when they leave does Christine realize that they didn't actually care about anything she said... And this happens over and over and over. (I know this seems hella specific but I swear it's an actual phenomenon... at least I'm pretty sure? sdjflksjf)

But anyway, it's clear that by the time they're juniors, Christine has kind of (and I do only mean kind of) figured out what behaviour other people respond poorly to. And from evidence I stated in the intro, I think she's become really careful about which people she lets herself get attached to. She doesn't want this to ever happen again - which means if she's going to hang out with someone, she has to know that they actually care about her, that they know she will sometimes be obnoxious or blunt, and they'll still be okay with that forever.

3. Applying this to her canon relationships

You can extend this to Jake, someone who sees her in her element in drama rehearsal (the thing everyone finds annoying about her because she won't shut up about it) and STILL likes her. I think it's a totally valid reading that her bluntness with him later ("Upgrade") is just because she misreads him / doesn't quite get the social standard that she should be white lying instead. But I think you could also read her as testing the waters. If she's really going to commit to dating this guy, she's gotta know he's okay with her being herself. And the fact that this guy (and I think it's significant that he is a boy, for reasons I'll explain in the end note) genuinely seems to like her is a whole new level of peer validation ("I am flattered, this is new") -- so of course she's gonna fall at least a little! It doesn't hurt that he's "tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am..." just like her!

Her history with being pity-liked makes Chloe's "advice," that Jake's just toying with her and is going to move on soon, even scarier, because that's genuinely happened to her (on a platonic level) so many times before.

Jeremy is also a good candidate from the beginning because he's weird he's a weirdo he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in you ever see him without this stupid cardigan on? that's weird! And she keeps warming up to him not only because they're getting to know each other but because he gets progressively more willing to not only tolerate (as Jake does) but *participate* in her weirdness!

First, she does something weird and he tolerates it ("Play Rehearsal"); the next time she's weird, he participates! (bowling ball before GTIKBI). Then finally finally finally he initiates the weirdness and lets her join in! ("weird noises" exchange before GTIKBI reprise).

And notably, it is THIS moment that canonically signifies that they've hit the apex of their canon relationship development. If there was an achievement called "Befriend Christine," it would have popped up right then and there!!!

IN CONCLUSION: YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM T_T

4: Christine vs. Jeremy: Gender differences & how that ultimately impacts their social goals

I also think all of this would have happened to Jeremy too if he'd been a girl. But because, generally, young boys feel less social obligation than girls to take pity on the autistic kid (and because boys tend to be more quickly recognized as autistic) he just ends up completely alone for most of his school life (Michael nonwithstanding - and yeah there's an important distinction between your childhood friend putting up with you and knowing that, woah, I guess literally nobody else ever will).

Meanwhile, Christine has had people "put up" with her, and she's SICK OF IT!

That's part of why their complexes are so different, because Christine is trying to check everyone she meets to make sure they'll be okay with her weirdness before she gets attached, Jeremy is trying to eliminate his weirdness altogether because he's never even experienced his peers listening out of *pity* so how the hell can he expect someone to ever listen to him out of *interest?*

Jeremy has never had someone pretend to like him before, so he completely lacks Christine's fear of befriending someone who secretly hates you. He doesn't realize how bad it'll hurt him if he destroys his real self for popularity, if he befriends people who would have bullied his real self. He doesn't know what disingenuous friendship feels like, so like a very young Christine he's still actively trying to get there because he thinks it's the only kind of validation he'll ever get.

Do you see what im saying? Do you see it???? AUAUGUGUUGGH

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! If you have thoughts or even rebuttals please share i am so desperate to discuss the blorbos

[helpwhatsthis]

this is the last thing about watcher I promise, but there is something that is seriously bugging about the way fans are reacting to it.

many people have gotten online and been like "this is why I need to stop creating parasocial relationships. I'm so disappointed." it just feels kind of like this very real thing that people can have a chronic problem with is being turned into online slang??

yes, I'm sure some fans do have parasocial relationships with Shane and Ryan; but does is affect such a mass group that there can be Twitter threads for comments about it?

I feel like maybe we've lost what it means to be a fan in a way. you can deeply care about a piece of media and deeply respect and admire the people that made it, and honestly it's normal to be disappointed when someone who makes something you love turns out to be a bad person (not that I'm saying the guys of watcher are.) this is especially normal for online content creators that make so many of their values or personal traits public.

it just seems like another psychological thing is being overused online right now, and if this had happened earlier people would say things abt how they are so delulu for hoping a creators wouldn't do something bad or that Shane and Ryan are their adhd/autistic hyperfixation ect.

it's also just kinda seems like we are putting part of the blame on ourselves if we start saying things like that. is it really that bad if we hope a creator respects the audience that built the backbone of their platform and doesn't screw them over??

idk, it's just really bugging the hell out of me. sorry for the rant.

[socialistexan]

So my fiance offhandedly asked me when my bottom surgery consultation is, because when I get bottom surgery affects when can have the wedding, and while I knew it was October I just kinda forgot the day.

I had kinda trusted that past me would have put it in my calendar, but then I checked my calendar and sure enough the past me who was out of ADHD meds definitely forgot.

So I checked and realized IT'S NEXT MONDAY HOLY SHIT! Like, I'm super excited, but I'm glad my fiance asking me got me to actually check and just not assume it was in the amorphous blob of "idk October?"

[ratskinsuit]

I just finished "Moth Left The Flame Burning" and man—you can't just leave me on a cliff hanger I wanna know what happens next.

I'm just imagining this platonic relationship turning into this one-sided "romance" where Vox is just dependent on reader since so far they're the only healthy relationship he has. He confuses their kindness for (romantic) love, He thinks it's love but really it's just his abandonment issues so he clings on to reader since Val is gone. This could either go two ways, reader tries to help Vox or Vox projects and makes reader his "new Val"

Now thinking about it, I really enjoy reading mentally unstable Vox lmao

You have read my mind.

*Little spoiler for pt.2*

So I actually had an idea like that for part two, it’s not directly stated but implied. When at one point reader tried to go somewhere Vox tries to like get romantic with them, because in my story Valentino would make Vox think that to earn his affection he had to do it through sexual matters.

So I like to think that Vox kind of assumes that’s normal, and that to convince people to not leave him he has to do something for them, whether sexual or not.

Because he’s so used to Valentino being gone off with other people like Angel Dust, and he’s scared to be replaced. So to counter that he tries to make himself more appealing to Valentino, so that Val with realize Vox is the one he would love. But it’s really hard for Vox because of Valentino being…. Valentino.

I honestly think their relationship is so toxic (but it could get a tad better if they get through their issues eventually together) with Valentino sleeping with so many people and his obsession with Angel dust, and Vox with his abandonment and dependency issues, thinking he’s always second best to Angel dust.

So it could eventually lead to some jelousy or resentment of angel dust from vox in the show

Now back to reader (sorry I got a tad off topic I just woke up and my ADHD meds haven’t kicked in)

Vox would def have a dependency on reader in an unhealthy way. Like he goes to them for validation and comfort, which normally is okay. But he gets so obsessive to the point where he freaks out if he thinks they like someone more than him, or are going to quit. So he would try and use manipulation tactics to get them to stay.

Honestly still toxic, but if your version of reader is empathetic but can see through the manipulation tactics that Vox uses and helps him, he could end up gaining some more stability and better coping mechanisms.

I personally couldn’t see him trying to make them be like Valentino, but more like a replacement of his figure in Vox’s life. Like he would try to put reader on a position where he doesn’t have complete control over them, but where they stay with him to make sure he’s okay and stick by his side.

Like the aura of Val being someone who cares about Vox (which I think he does imo) but can also take initiative in trying to “help” him.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. (These are just my opinions, if you don’t agree with them or have other ones that’s perfectly okay and I respect that :) )

Also idk when pt 2 will be coming out because I’m going to be working on requests Gino’s, but expect slow ass updates because exams are coming soon.

[actuallyadhd]

The reason I realised I might have adhd was my brother, he's so clearly autistic so I did research to make sure.

When I brought it up with my mother she told me to not tell him.

I finally got my diagnosis after 3 years of trying to get it, of going deeper and deeper into it.

Idk, I never hated it? I never hated my adhd. Back in 2020 I was a more active person? In terms of doing the things I liked and doing art.

Now I'm slow, tired, fatigued.

And that happened after I took meds. Apparently ritalin prozac and anxiety meds aren't supposed to be taken together, Idk what my therapist was thinking.

She told me to get anxiety meds for my stimming, cause I stim cause I'm nervous. But I KNOW that I don't. I stim when I'm excited, or when I can't focus.

When I'm anxious, when I'm angry I go stiff a a rock, I get focused sharp, because I have to be, it's a defense mechanism.

I don't hate adhd I don't hate meds inheritly either. But I hate how my meds made me a zombie, that I was forced to go on them so I could achieve this academic goal.

Maybe if I lived in a place with better mental healthcare I wouldn't be dealing with the effects of bad medication and my worsening depression.

I'm slightly better now, but my executive function got fucked. I can't just, do the things I like anymore. I feel less feelings than I did before.

I don't hate myself I just, I guess I'm in a hurry to heal from everything when I'm still living with the people that abused and continue to abuse me emotionally.

Specially my abelist mother who keeps saying adhd and autism aren't a disability, and they're just a quirk like her being left handed.

My dad has finally came to the realisation that he probably has adhd like me.

I'm a uni student now and living in a dorm away from my family has helped me regain that control I had and live a healthier life. But I'm back now over the summer and I can feel myself going back to my old ways the more I stay at my family home.

Idk,

Is this cptsd? Idk what it is.

Is it bad to say I love my adhd? Usually at least. When there's no one breathing down my neck not letting me do my own thing, when I don't get pulled into random places and have a choice to stay. And say no.

I guess things will get worse before they get better....

Sent August 18, 2024

There's definitely a lot to unpack here. I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. I will do my best to offer suggestions and reassurance, as always.

It makes sense that your brother is autistic and you have ADHD; both are highly heritable, and seem to be related in some way. So it also makes sense that your dad has now realized he probably has ADHD!

I have a feeling this is going to be long, so have a cut.

Stimming & Anxiety

Neurotypical people think that the only reason for fidgeting is anxiety.

It's not.

As a general rule, it's either expressive (as when we're happy or excited or upset) or regulating (as when we need to focus or feel overwhelmed).

And if stimming or fidgeting isn't disruptive or hurting anyone (including yourself), it definitely doesn't need to be medicated. WTAF.

Medication Issues

Medication can be tricky. The wrong meds can cause more problems than they solve. Even the right med at the wrong dose can be a problem!

Examples from my own life:

Starting dose of Concerta didn't do much, next dose up gave me a week-long anxiety attack.

Starting dose of Welbutrin made me feel like I was About to Die for a week.

Dexedrine initially made me NOT HUNGRY for three weeks. I lost 10 lbs.

Strattera made me depressed and adversely affected my typing (been accurately touch typing since I was 11, suddenly was making really weird typos).

Good dose of sertraline (Zoloft) helped my anxiety and depression but caused me to start skin picking in earnest; next dose up had me closing in on serotonin syndrome.

Adderall worked well (until it didn't) but also made me feel ill after I ate yogurt.

It sounds like you would need to try other meds or other doses, preferably one at a time(!), to find what works best for you overall.

Executive Function & Depression

It sounds like your depression is your biggest problem right now. Depression can worsen executive functioning, so that makes sense.

It's probably a good idea to talk to your prescribing doctor about your medication regime. Ask what your options are and if you can please work on getting off the antidepressant so you can try something else.

Alongside this, you may well be dealing with ADHD burnout, which I am only just coming out of myself. It's a struggle, to be sure!

My best advice for that is to be gentle with yourself. Don't expect yourself to Do All the Things; instead, keep a master list of things that need to get done and choose three of them to focus on each day (your Goals) and three fun ones to try to get to each day (your gravy).

It's okay if sometimes one of your Goals is to get dressed.

Parent Stuff

It sounds like your mom is trying to make you feel better or maybe herself(?). If that's how she needs to think of this all, let her. What matters is that she understands when you're struggling and is willing to support you. If not, you might like to refer her to this Russell Barkley video.

It's great that your dad has realized he has ADHD, though! Even if he doesn't bother to pursue a formal diagnosis, just knowing that can help a lot since if he's having issues he knows where to find suggestions that are more likely to actually work (because stuff that works for neurotypical people almost never works for ADHDers, while stuff that works for us also works for NT's).

Family Systems Theory says that how we behave around our family members is directed by how our family works as a system. There are also smaller systems within the whole that affect how individuals relate to each other. This is why we tend to fall back into childhood patterns when we're around our family of origin. Those patterns are ingrained through years of conditioning.

CPTSD?

While I don't think Gabor Maté is right about trauma and ADHD, I do think that it's pretty common for ADHDers to have childhood trauma. We spend years getting in trouble for stuff we couldn't control and being held to a standard we simply can't reach due to our ADHD, and that affects our self-esteem and is (to my mind) a big reason why so many of us have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is that huge emotional reaction we can have to criticism (real or perceived).

I have found a lot of reassurance and helpful information about CPTSD through watching videos from the Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube. She reads letters from people and helps them with their problems, and she explains the problems faced by people who have CPTSD and offers ways to deal with them.

Loving ADHD

I don't think it's bad to love your ADHD. I do think it's a little weird, because most of us hate it a lot of the time, but I definitely see positives in my own life and view it as a neutral (if annoying) part of who I am.

I actually think it's great that you do love it, because it's going to be part of your life forever. Making sure you have systems in place to deal with the stuff that's challenging is going to be really important moving forward, but that's part of what this Tumblr is for.

Overall, I think you are probably doing better than you think you are, and once your meds get sorted you'll be in a much better space in general.

Followers, do you have anything to add, or any corrections to something I've said?

-J

[aibidil]

I am certain that this kid in my son's class has ADHD. Like, my soul sees his soul and it Knows.

I know his parents! We are friends! They know I am a big advocate for neurodivergent kids and I've talked openly about all our diagnoses. They are open about it when I discuss. But nothing is wrong with their son, you know? Because nothing is!!! But this child cannot shut up at school and I hear these tidbits about how he cannot stop interrupting class and how it's clearly affecting his friendships. And because of this, I talk about it even more, dropping information in the hopes that some of it will bloom into awareness

And I'm like: do I tell them? The teachers will never suggest anything that is a diagnosis. Do I just roll up like, "idk if he's been diagnosed or not yet, but if you ever want to chat about adhd, I'm your rotten soldier, your sweet cheese, your good-time boy"?

On the one hand, I am 100% sure this is overstepping. On the other, THIS POOR CHILD! Like, it's awesome to have parents who love you so much they would never think to label you as deviant (I had this! it's truly lovely!) but when that package also comes with lack of clarity and specific support.....

I know the answer is I should keep my mouth shut. But much like this child in class, I might not be able to. 😅

[antlerkitty]

I'm trying to figure out what's up with me cognitively. Possibly something to bring up with the doctor, but I think I am cognitively disabled beyond ADHD. Everything is confusing. I cannot understand a lot of concepts unless people explain them to me like I'm 5, multiple times. I can't understand most of politics. I know I'm liberal/leftist (idk which), but I am unable to fully understand a lot of things politics-related. I'm often treated as stupid. I often misunderstand things as wildly different things.

I've been dealing with this my whole life. It affects other things too. I feel incapable of feeling a lot of emotions in a way someone my age would. I love most people in my life like I love my favorite tree, or my sofa. They're objects in my universe, and they're cool. Occasionally a bit of clearness slips through and I feel like I'm actually normal and right, but usually everything for me is so surface-level. And it's like everyone else can access deeper things but I can't. It's incredibly frustrating, and it makes the world so confusing but so simple.

But I'm also not sure if I'll be able to live on my own even if I did have enough money, and carers to help me around the house. There's a chance I won't be able to understand things like taxes, mortgage, etc. I already struggle buying my own things (and get a lot of anxiety doing so), because I have a hard time understanding taxes. Hell, I struggle to even understand "basic things". And I'm not sure if I'll be able to learn them.

Not to mention theory of mind. Ugh, theory of mind. My nemesis. Cognitive disability really does affect everything for me.

[t1oui]

i find it interesting how my fairly neurotypical father understands me better (in some ways) than my mom, who has depression and anxiety like me, does

like. my mother understands my emotions - my anxiety, how i just get sad sometimes, and how sensitive i am - because she's also like that. but she doesn't understand my adhd brain and how it makes me see things differently, and my dad does. my father, who doesn't have adhd, has learned how having adhd has affected my life and adapts how he assigns tasks in a way he knows i will understand and be able to complete.

see, my dad understands that anything vague - even something simple like "clean your room - feels like a big, daunting task, and i can't complete big, daunting tasks, so they just sit there. so instead, my father said things like "clean your room for 30 minutes" and when i'm was done, he'd come in and ask me what i did and then say good job. sometimes i was even rewarded with money (if i did multiple tasks over the course of the week).

and since i know this system works for me, since it's a thing my father and i had been doing for a while, i told my mom about it when my room was redone and i had to reorganize, go through, and unpack everything. and though my mom finally was like "yeah okay, we can do it this way" she made sure to remind me constantly that i didn't deserve a reward for doing something normal like cleaning my room. when, after a year of asking me, i finally began to clean after she said "clean for 30 minutes", she seemed surprised. but i feel like this just proves my point, because the reason i hadn't cleaned before then was because the task seemed too daunting - the way she assigned it to me before she started using my dad's method was "go through all your bins, all your drawers, all the bags, and all the boxes". this seemed like way too much, so i never did it. the second this was broken down into simply 30 minutes, i completed the task.

but there's another thing here. see, as i said, my father rewarded me for completing tasks, even if it was just by saying "good job". but my mom, as i also said, didn't like rewarding me for things i should've been doing anyway. this made me not only feel bad about myself, but it also made me less inclined to do tasks such as washing the dishes because i knew she'd be surprised i'd done them and would remind me, yet again, that that was something i didn't need to be rewarded for.

to be honest, i agree with her on some level. but at the same time, i recognize - like my father has - that a reward, no matter how small, makes tasks easier for me, just like how breaking tasks down makes them easier & helps me avoid adhd/task paralysis.

idk. i just think it's odd that my neurodivergent mom hasn't adapted to my needs but my neurodivergent father has

[fictionkinfessions]

Canon disabilities... Well, everyone knows canon!Gale is likely autistic, and yeah. I probably was, too. The word and concept didn't really exist but there was a sort of understanding that "most wizards are just weird that way, like how most sorcerers have some form of mommy and/or daddy issues and most paladins have a savior complex of some form or another". I remember Astarion commenting "you really are a typical wizard, aren't you", he wasn't being mean or anything just, well, I'd been info-dumping to him and I think that was the moment he realized "oh, so the stereotype exists for a reason". Genuinely, there was no malice or even sarcasm in what he said, he was actually happy to listen to me for some reason (this was after the Absolute issue, while I was helping him in the Underdark, so perhaps he was just happy to be distracted from being separated from the sun while our companions found a way to settle that issue).

Halsin enjoyed actually engaging with me in discussions on the nature of the Weave and how it functioned, and he recognized when my brain began to kind of... Spin out, for lack of a better term (not entirely sure this is an autism thing, I'm undiagnosed but suspected in this life, too, and my brain does it again now but I've also had ADHD suggested as a possible diagnosis for me by a psychologist in a non-diagnostic but doctor-patient setting so Idk), it would almost be a form of overstimulation, and he'd gently suggest we sit down and have some tea. He always insisted on doing so in silence to "appreciate the music of nature" and tbh I appreciated him doing so. Him enforcing quiet gave my brain time to cool off and reset a little. So yeah. Thanks, Halsin.

My mother was excellent about it, other wizards obviously weren't dicks about it, but outside of that, Tara and the magma mephit were really the only ones who didn't judge me for being the way I was until the nautiloid incident. I will not include Mystra on that list despite her not saying or doing anything about my oddities for obvious reasons. Even Lae'Zel and Shadowheart weren't outright mean about it, they didn't exactly care to hear me prattling on about the Weave but honestly that's just who they were, they barely liked talking to Karlach who they both admired. They both cared far more about my prowess in battle than my social ineptitude and the odd sensory issue that came up, especially since the din of battle didn't affect me (though to be fair, I was never in the thick of it if it could be helped, so swords weren't clanging against each other right by my ears).

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi, can i ask for a romantic matchup for hsr, genshin, and bsd? thank you! this is quite lengthy, so please take your time as always! (if i didnt already send in an ask??? idk adhd stuff makes me lose attention)

i'm agender, but i can go by any pronouns. shel her is my default since i look like a girl. i'm aroace, but on the spectrum that i can fall in love but it'll be extremely difficult.

zodiac/mbti: virgo, intj, sx/sp

appearance: i'm pretty short, 5’5, fairly olive skintone and phoenix eyes. i have shoulder length black hair, slightly wavy, an oval face, and some sideswept bangs parted from the middle. i wear glasses, silver frames. my eyebrows are pretty thick. i look more cute-sque then anything.

likes and hobbies/interests: reading, writing, crocheting, taking walks, horse-riding, listening to music

dislikes: unhygienic things, people who make life harder for you by doing things like standing in front of a subway station's staircase, and a refusal to understand certain things

personality: i’m passionate and opinionated, individualistic, honest and wears my heart on my sleeve. outwardly and inwardly, i’m very contemplative and reflective, so it tends to give me a more quiet aura and first impressions. sometimes im too stuck in my head. i’m also very levelheaded. realistic, but also very optimistic with it. i’m very considerate of others, but sometimes i open my mouth before i finish thinking. i do acts of service and physical touch, and i try to push myself and others to be healthier people with their permission. im not pushy with serious topics. im the type of person who always gets their jokes taken seriously over text. i give good advice (which i say, because they mainly work out in positive ways) and me and my friends joke around a lot.

thanks again!

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while! I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Welt loves listening to music with you. He finds both the tunes and your presence soothing. He can be encouraged to dance with you, but only to slow songs. He’s not really up for dancing to anything too fast or upbeat.

He admires your honesty and your tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve. He will always do his best to make sure he doesn’t hurt you. The last thing he wants is for you to feel betrayed in any way.

Welt is surprisingly good at helping you get out of your head. No one’s quite sure how he does it but whenever you’re feeling stuck in a loop, he’s there to help you out.

Your tendency to speak before you think is nothing unusual for him. Now, he’s just got another person like March to be around…

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Ayato would love horse-riding with you. I see him as someone who knows how to handle a horse and is surprisingly good at it.

His favourite moments are when you’re out riding together and there’s a soft breeze. It’s relaxing. He loves being able to get away from his duties and spend time with you.

Goes to you whenever he needs advice. He’s used to dealing with things on his own, but now that he has you, he wants your opinion on big decisions.

Please ask his anytime you need advice as well! He’s had years of practice picking the right choices so he’s very good at giving sound advice as well.

If you crochet anything for him, he will treasure it forever. His favourite thing would be a blanket since he could wrap himself up in it when he has to work late. It’s a little reminder of you.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

You and Atsushi would very rarely have fights. You’re both very honest and open people so any problems you have would be solved quickly and easily.

You’re also both level headed which everyone at the agency appreciates greatly. The last thing anyone needs is another people jumping into every possible argument or fight they see.

I think Atsushi would also fall in love very easily. He didn’t really get a lot of love as a kid so any affection means a lot to him.

Please teach him how to crochet! He would love to learn and he’ll make things for you to show his appreciation.

Astushi also loves reading and writing with you. He’d love to have dates where you both read the same book or you each write something for the other person and then gift it to them at the end.