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#Idk I feel like that more helps my case
xxxcertifiednerdxxx · 11 months
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i thought howl from howl’s moving castle was fruity, but I’ve been informed he isn’t???? Betrayal
#Hi sorry for coming back to say the most unhinged things ever#For context: I’ve been told I look like howl before. Mostly just bc I have blonde hair at the right length and I have a couple argyle#sweaters#and so I was wondering if I should dress like him for halloween#His aesthetic is aspirational to me#But I’ve never seen the movie or read the books#So I made a poll on Instagram to see if it would be lame for me to dress like him without seeing the source material#Majority said it wouldn’t be lame but one person was particularly vocal about it being lame#He said to just watch the movie so it wouldn’t be lame for me to dress up as howl#But there’s not really a way for me to watch it for free legally#I won’t pirate it especially not as a missionary#but I don’t want to pay $4 on my dad’s Amazon prime account to rent the movie#But getting back to my post I thought I had a basic understanding of howl’s character#From seeing his design to seeing posts about him on tumblr#So I said I know who he is. He is a weird little gay guy with a flare for the dramatic right?#And I was told NO#and I know he and Sophie are a romantic couple but I thought howl had fruity vibes#And I was told no bc he eats the hearts of the most beautiful women???#Idk I feel like that more helps my case#Bc if you are straight why would you eat the heart of pretty ladies?#wouldn’t you want to date them?#Anyways I digress#happy halloween#i am going to wear a costume to the food pantry today#and I had a banger scripture study session this morning#nerd-out#nerd out#howl’s moving castle
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puppyeared · 6 months
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digital painting practice with my favorite pkmn
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nabaath-areng · 9 days
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I have this one "OC" that does not yet have a name that I've drawn several times for a couple years. I was thinking that if I tried making them in FFXIV that I'd use elezen as a base... but then I remembered what other race have their near exact hairstyle... and now I'm like damn... I played myself...
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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reggiestein · 2 years
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i always get nervous posting my art bc i feel like i draw him Different than how other ppl do but i guess that is a good thing kinda. peace and love. god bless🙏
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byanyan · 5 months
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just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.
thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜
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apocalypticdemon · 2 months
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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mangomybeloved · 8 months
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the worst feeling is when you become friends with someone first and then they meet another one of your friends and then they become closer and then you're left behind
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muttsandmustelidae · 3 months
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i regret to inform all of my fellow socially awkward kings that Practicing Talking Good actually helps. u have to make small talk at the grocery store sometimes to get better at speaking to people u don’t know very well. it sucks but if u keep trying it will eventually NOT suck and will in fact be fun and nice
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britneyshakespeare · 2 months
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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rosicheeks · 3 months
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🙃
#just want to apologize to anyone who has tried to reach out lately#just like I texted my friend I’ll tell you guys the same#haven’t been talking to a lot of people lately tbh#pretty sure I’ve mentioned php a few times by now#monday was my last day#and I was feeling on top of the world on Monday#I don’t remember the last time I was so genuinely happy#figured it was the med change or something#so I was feeling pretty optimistic#I’m in between programs now#and today was not the best#not as bad as some of my days#but definitely not even near the day I had on Monday#I just wish I could feel that every single day#I’m working on it but still#waiting to start ‘adult day treatment’ and case management#and I think case management will help me find a place??? I’m not sure exactly but that’s kinda what I was getting#which honestly? I know I’ve bitched about how badly I need to move#but while I was in php I realized I don’t think I’ll truly be able to heal while I’m living here… and that’s a scary thought#idk there’s a lot more deeper things that I don’t wanna talk about#but the fact I don’t have space and I don’t feel safe and comfortable here is hard….#my ‘safe’ space was my car but now that I’m trying to quit smoking my car isn’t the best place for me#I’ve been kinda getting used to my room and I’m finally trying to move a few things around#(now that I have a little energy again)#it’s just……. my arachnophobia is KILLING me here#in the past week I don’t even know how many spiders I’ve seen and killed#they haven’t been crazy and I recognize I don’t live in Australia or places where the spiders are as big as fucking cars#I came home and I was in a good mood until I saw a spider in my room 🙃🙃🙃 tried to vacuum it but not sure if I got it……..#so guess im sleeping on the couch….. again…. but can’t help think if out here is any better…#shut up rosie
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bylertruther · 2 years
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i was doing my regular rewatch the other day and tbh... lonnie and will's relationship is so unsettling. lonnie literally did not give a single goddamn fuck that his own twelve year old son was missing and later "dead". he just... did not fucking care! at all. couldn't even pretend to. jonathan comes to tell him what happened and we see that...
lonnie got joyce's call and still didn't care to reach out,
when jonathan tells him this is serious and real, he mocks will by saying "he was never very good at taking care of himself" (which is already disturbing considering this is his son he's talking about, but especially so when you remember that lonnie abused will for being gay and tried to get him to like "masculine" things),
he's already talking to jonathan about seeing him more and reconnecting, like will isn't fucking missing, like he's already fucking dead and he's moved on, as if will is some stranger or worse someone that never existed at all,
instead of feeling any kind of shame about jonathan not believing him when he says will isn't there and him looking in the actual fucking trunk of his car, he just makes a joke out of it asking if jonathan's gonna check up his ass too,
his neglect is brought up again when jonathan slams one of the posters to his chest and tells him "in case you forgot what he looks like",
and that's not even touching on the fact that the very first thing we see lonnie do when jonathan enters the house is fucking shove and pin him to the wall, telling him "you got stronger".
like, he is not a good man in the slightest—the complete antithesis of the byers we know.
and then afterward... lonnie finally decides to come back. he's being nice to joyce and pretending like he's the man of the house again. like he's finally come home to fix and save his family.
he goes to will's funeral and treats it like a schmoozing event, like that isn't his youngest son being buried right in front of him, showing less emotion than one of will's classmates that hasn't ever even talked to him.
but... he's not there because he's had a sudden change of heart.
no, he's there because he has something to gain out of this unimaginable tragedy. his own youngest son is dead and he comes back home to collect a fucking check for it. because he's never cared about will, hasn't ever even seen him as a human being, he just... sees his death as something he can benefit from.
it's just so fucked up and so sinister. lonnie isn't a man riddled with vices, beholden to some disease which makes him act in ways most unbecoming. no, he's... just a man. a small, manipulative, and cruel leech of a man that just doesn't fucking care and is in it only for himself.
it's just... it's really tragic to think that will really was dealing with monsters way before that first demogorgon ever came through the gate.
and even then... that demogorgon was an animal acting as animals do / possessed by vecna and you can't really blame it for that. but what's lonnie's excuse, huh?
#like. hashtag felt lmao#a lot of ppl write lonnie as an alcoholic and i feel like ... lonnie just being a bad person because he Is a bad person without the help of#any vices is just... so much more terrifying and painful.#because then it's just lonnie. just a man who doesn't care about his son. a man who views his baby boy as less than a bug. a man who#doesn't care or hold any affection in his heart because he just simply does not fucking want to or care to. he doesn't care if will is in#danger. he doesn't care if will is dead at the bottom of the quarry. he doesn't care not because he's drunk or high but just.. because.#he couldn't turn will into what he thinks is a proper man so in his mind he's thinking well.. if i can't get anything out of him like that#then i'm at least gonna get my money's worth with this wrongful death case.#a man making the choice to be evil. to inflict pain purposely. for no gain whatso-fucking-ever.#bc at least vecna does it to gain more power to achieve world domination. but lonnie is just a piece of shit that abuses kids.#water is wet lmao but... i feel like stranger things manages to be so fucking dark sometimes and yet it just... it's treated so normally#that you almost don't even notice it. bc ur just viewing this story from the perspective of a character and for them it IS normal#i just. yeah. idk. Thinking Thotz Over Here#it's so fucked up when u stop to think abt it lmao like. if will doesn't get his happy ending bro.......#abuse tw#byers#lonnie#mine
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evignonita · 6 months
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uhghhg buzz grunt..... 😢..
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bereft-of-frogs · 7 months
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I wrote a longer and more overwrought version of this post when I was slightly drunker (yay distillery book club) but the shorter, more sober-clarity version is: it's so ridiculous that about 50% of my current fandom experience is based on things that are now 25 years old (thanks for the reminder, lucasfilm) and yet I'm terrified of being left behind because I 'can't move on' from something that is now barely 5 years old
you could probably attempt to make some sort of sweeping statement about this, like the lifespan of media now versus the early 00s, but what it's really about is my own issues with abandonment which is affecting both my ability to move on (I really struggle with the 'crew breaks up between installment thing', always have) and also the general fear of behind left behind, rather than any real trends in fandom as a whole
ok I think that's enough for superb owl sunday
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#click for better quality whatever#im coming back to school tomorrow so technically i will have less time to draw rgg stuff so here you go for now#angst angst angst. i only half assume this level of angst. is it cringe? idk i feel like it needed to be this dark to be good#i tried to make the dialogue as close as possible as how waka actually sound. there's a lot of quotes in this.#obviously this would be an internal dialogue happening in between 2001 and 2004. taking a little bit more literally masato's suicide#i really like interpreting aoki as the physical manifestation of masato's self-hatred destructive hateful and self-harm tendencies#the culmination of all of his hurtful and toxic coping mechanisms#there's this scene at the end of the game where he seems to be about to accept ichiban's help and start to atone for his crimes#but then he hears a recording of himself - as aoki - and immediately relapses into his old ways#for me aoki is the voice inside his head driving him to paranoia and self-destruction by pushing away & hurting everyone who cares about hi#i have a pretty clear idea of who aoki was for masato. the voice of societal pressure to put it simply.#but im not sure who masato is for aoki yet... i should think about that more#still fascinating to me that both of them aren't treated as the “true self” of his character. this guy never got the chance to be himself#gotta tag this with actual tags now#codexdraws#y7 spoilers#errr do i need to put tw? just in case a mutual needs it#tw suicide implied#tw ableism#<- internalized and not blatant but still#i am NOT feeling confident about posting this i swear im usually normal and funny (or at least i try to be. very hard)#i think it's very funny of me to post my first rgg comic featuring : waka and ; waka. im a parody of myself
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feeling weird mixed feelings atm and I can't really logic them away, ig? on the one hand I'm completely apathetic about it. on the other hand there's a part of me that's absolutely horrified that I could do something like that. the fact that it's still a consistent low-level pain the whole time also doesn't help. anyway those kinds of thoughts are then making me want to harm again to cope with them but also a) it's manageable and b) I currently have a deep horror of self-inflicted pain after the last few days apparently.
#more specific blatherings in the tags so im gonna get them below the read more in case anyone doesn't want to read it#tw sh#because yes this is about the last few days and im gonna add a few more words to get the rest below the read more#the fact that while they aren't as deep as i've ever gone before they are unquestionably in volume far exceeding any#before. not that i count at the time or anything but there are at least sixty new cuts from the last week so no wonder it's painful#but yeah it's just. an interesting emotional feeling once the pressure that triggered them is gone#i don't know i don't understand myself really#glad i have a psych appointment monday really#if i didn't have one booked i'd probably be booking one about now#also bothered by how visible the ones on my wrist are going to be.#hopefully the redness will go away soon bc i don't think they're quite healed yet#teatree oil is helping tho so hopefully they won't be TOO obvious#the location means that yeah they will be visible but hopefully not too too much#and after all i have only for-sure hit the fat layer twice. maybe a few other times. there are a couple taking ages to heal atm#so they might've idk. and i haven't gone any deeper than that#honestly with the wrist ones the fact is that it was blunt and i couldn't#sharpen it at hte time. perhaps tmi but yeah this may have saved my life and or my hand function#but i might be overstating it. anyway apparently that was three weeks and one day ago?? wow#guys that entire day i was convinced i wasn't going to live to see the morning. the WHOLE DAY#i literally have a commie newspaper on my desk currently because they tried selling it at uni and i was so existential i was just like.#'what is life. what is money. who cares' and bought it. see this is the funny story i referred to. i can elaborate#personal#puddleglum hours#tw suicide
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