#Ic: journal

[guardian-rocket]

Data Log entry 0001

It's been about a week since I escaped Halfworld. I found out that's what the rest of the universe calls the planet I thought someday would be my home. I think I'd rather call it that, since it's not what he called it. Trying to put my thoughts as far away from him as I can. Thinking about him makes me feel sick.

Sleeping alone has been extremely uncomfortable. I miss Floor, I miss all of them. I keep dreaming about everything that happened before I left. I been dreaming more than I ever had before. I wonder if escaping was even worth it. I left with nothing. Dreaming about them almost every time I shut my eyes, they're still alive in my subconscious like I just can't accept it but they keep dying too, almost every time I shut my eyes. I keep replaying those events in my dreams always with different endings, sometimes we get to the ship together and something always ends badly. There are times I die in those dreams too, sometimes I just get shot and wake up in a cold shock, covered in sweat. The thing I see in those dreams the most is Lylla. That look on Lylla's face, I can't get it out of my head.

Another stranger dream I had was one where I met myself, but when I was younger and didn't talk so good. I guess I must not feel like I'm that same person no more. The younger me was hiding on the ship, scared, he was scared of me. I realized what I've become would have scared me too, back then. It wasn't just that though, the younger me was looking worse than I ever had, skinnier, more disheveled, crying about being forgotten. I tried to offer him comfort and told him I'd take care of him and that no one would ever hurt him again. He wanted to know where his friends were. My heart just ached and I couldn't tell him. I woke up shortly after and as stupid as it sounds I looked around the ship calling his name just in case. It felt so real. I guess right now the loneliness is getting to me.

I am thinking about what I want to do next. I been watching people a lot when I'm not sleeping, trying to figure out how to blend in better. I started wearing clothes not just because of that but because I feel like it'd be hard to be taken seriously if I don't. I think that may be part of the reason I feel such a disconnect with my old self from my dream.

When I escaped, I was at least able to remove some of the exterior braces off myself. I wanted them off ages ago but was always afraid how they'd react if I tried. I was told if I removed them too early it'd cause me chronic pain if the bones didn't heal properly from the procedures. I think it's been long enough but if not, pain is of little concern to me. At least if I feel pain, I know I'm living and knowing that much well... Maybe I'm petty but I'd like to keep that going since it's not what he wanted. I think I want to be everything he didnt want.

[thelailasblog]

[ukuslip]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaart dump. surprise it's all #That guy

[poorly-drawn-monhun]

hunter and their adoptive dragon parent

[plushybread]

cute stickers in my collection <3

ice cream cones by tama_kid

[thedeluxedoll]

@yik.milk

[sketchinfun]

Matcha mornings

[julykings]

from a night out in the snow 

[goldkirk]

i haven't been this not okay in over a year and i do not miss it and i do not want it

[isbahstudio]

Paralegal Internship

I am really enjoying working as a criminal law paralegal so far! I spend my mornings finishing up some tasks in a cafe. It sets my mornings off on such a bright note. I review my to-do list, make plans, fill in my work log, etc. I'll read over some cases and make notes. Then I'll head to the office. I've been ordering the iced caramel latte from this cafe. It's a classic but they make it so well. I might try their matcha soon. Their little caramel glaze ice cream cake was delicious as well!

[fancyschmancyopinions]

ICE SPICE at the 2024 Billboard Women in Music Awards on March 6th 2024 wearing custom WIEDERHOEFT

[thelailasblog]

[atwhughesversion]

october had to be hockey-themed in my bullet journal <3

reference image i used

[absolute-decay]

They are rotting my brain again. Psychopathic Cult Leading freaks. I love them so much and it makes me sad how badly Studio Bones fumbled them, leading to less content of them. It's not like they were ruined, but they could have been so much more, and were so much more, because the Manga is right there.

Anyhow that was all just preamble for the point of this post, Fic Recs! Any cool fics involving any combination of these characters, please! Any length, any genre, just. As long as any of these guys have the spotlight.

[notprincehamlet]

collages inspired by nancy drew games (made with the supplies i have on hand only)

-> danger on deception island // white wolf of icicle creek // legend of the crystal skull // the haunting of castle malloy

[paperw0rmz]

Bits of red