#ITS SO SCARY BUT ALSO WHEN YOU KNOW YOU KNOW👀

[meowzfordayz]

analysis (; — hashira men

Author’s Note: took this not-actually-a-prompt and got carried away heh... 😌

analysis (; — hashira men

Himejima Gyomei x Reader, Iguro Obanai x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~2,200

CW: 18+NSFW, degrading language, explicit language, Fem!Reader, oral, spit, squirting

Thirst Fulfilled: I NEED someone to settle an argument between me and a friend-

Do you think sanemi has a big [redacted]-

Because I KNOW he is packing a huge one.

Ps I’m sorry but I don’t know who else to ask 😭

~faqs~

Update as of 12 May 2023: A foreword that these headcanons are first and foremost indulgent !! 😌 They are not intended to be realistic. They’re supposed to be fun. Hot. 🥵 Within the realm of possibility, but not ~normal. 😉

Dick so big it has him blushing 🤭

—I mean, c’mon: Look at him 😳

That being said, it’s also very pretty — not monstrous or scary (besides its size heh)

A nice, rounded head that oozes precum throughout foreplay, sensitive and rosy pink as you flick your tongue across it, thick and heavy balls tightening at the breathy moan in your throat

A delicate vein curves from its base to the underside of the tip, thankfully not too pronounced, bc it’ll stretch you out enough regardless

Speaking of stretch…

Your fingers can barely wrap around its girth — it’s much easier to drool and lap at the shaft than commit to anything close to deep throating (unless your jaw stamina’s through the roof 👀)

Doesn’t exactly groom himself, but that isn’t too much of an issue since it’s not like his pubic hair’s getting in your way too often (re: dick too huge to regularly deepthroat) 

As for length, Gyomei’s in the ball park of ~reasonable (10 inches when erect), but it still requires a hell of a lot of prep before you’re fully seated on his cock, ass flush against his flexed thighs while large, sweaty hands grip your hips in a feeble attempt to restrain himself from immediately thrusting into your dimly throbbing cervix

“This okay?” he murmurs, thumbs pressing firmly into the softness of your skin, low groan caught in his chest at the suffocating heat of your pussy, your shaky, faintly pained breaths keeping his desire in check

“Take as much time as you need,” as you use his stomach to steady yourself, muscles rippling beneath your palms

“You feel wonderful,” whispered gently—patient as ever—even as he longs to raise your trembling body up and almost off of his cock, only to fuck the air out of your lungs w/ a single, smooth drop of your wanton weight, unsuspecting wail music to his ears as you convulse in orgasm at the overwhelming pressure of his cock stuffing your puffy walls

Obanai’s closer to average, but he isn’t small (at least, his dick isn’t 😆 #short king)

Def a grower, slim, veiny shaft elongating (to ~6 inches) as you stroke him w/ a practiced flick of your wrist

Not exactly related to his dick, but he also def growls during foreplay, needy and eager to melt into you and to ruin you — just depends on his mood, yanno?

His head is the kind of head that you almost wanna chomp 🤗, all squishy, bulbous, and fat, quickly reddening and weeping precum, making a mess of your fingers

Perfect lubrication for touching yourself while sucking him off, gleam in his eyes at how filthy you are

Typically can’t be bothered to trim his pubic hair, but it doesn’t get especially long anyway — more so coarse and curly

His shaft doesn’t stretch you out significantly, sliding easily into your slick heat, hovering above you as his hands keep your legs parted widely, “You like being splayed out for me, hm?” pinching lightly at your inner thigh, grinning smugly as you whimper contently, “My precious plaything.”

But it (his shaft) does have a wicked, upward curve, tip grinding firm and repetitive against the spongy bundle of nerves deep in your pussy

And its veins 🤤

What he lacks in girth, he makes up for in texture

Plus, Obanai 11/10 fucks aggressive and erratic, pubic bone flush to your clit, friction delicious and constant as he thrusts full force into your hole, sweat dripping from his brow onto your clavicle, his eyes narrowed in lust and passion, balls slapping sticky against your asshole, less concerned about hurting you since he’s aware that he isn’t ~the biggest guy on the block

Altho, if he’s tired, then he lowkey enjoys you on top, edging him w/ every slow and steady undulation of your hips, your tits pressed warm and hot to his chest as he clings to you and the squelch of your cunt

For whatever reason, my immediate thought was: Raging! Hard! On! 😂😍

Kyojuro’s absolutely packing, but still decently proportionate to his stature (177cm aka 5’10”)

—Bc, contrary to porn-pular belief, comically large dicks hurt 😒💀

8 inches erect, and a sizeable bulge when flaccid

—Never thought I’d use this term, bc (imo) it’s hot when I’m horny, but 🥴 when I’m ~sober 😆…

BREEDER BALLS

As much as Kyojuro loves worshiping your pussy, he might love when you worship his balls more 🤭

You kissing, sucking, licking his balls while he jerks himself off = 100% orgasm guarantee

Drooling on his shiny, reddening tip, your spit trickling down between his fingers, making a mess of your lips as you return to fondling his balls w/ your mouth?

110% orgasm guarantee

Prefers cumming on your tits, btw — will stave off his orgasm until you can get ~in position ☺️

Nothing like an even messier round two 😎

Bc, ofc, he is more than happy to reciprocate the pleasure 💞

W/ enough girth to warrant a gradual sinking (vs an abrupt thrust to the hilt), his shaft fills you breathless, its last couple of inches just barely fitting into your heat

“Can’t believe you’re already hard again,” you giggle delightedly, eyes hazy as he smears his cum across your nipple, throbbing head pressing deeper into your pussy, “You’re insatiable, I swear.”

A heady groan is his only response, gaze bright and attentive as always, reaching for your hand, dipping your thumb into his cum splatter, tasting himself on your skin as he maintains eye contact

“Fuck,” you gasp, pussy clenching at his nonchalance, tongue swiping subconsciously along your bottom lip

“Taste?” he offers, enthusiastic tone muted by the determined pressure of him lapping at your other nipple, his cum bitter and warm as he kisses you sloppy and needy, grip gentle on your jaw as he inhales your scent

And then you whisper Umai!

One word: brutal 😵‍💫

Not bc he’s ridiculously hung (i.e. Gyomei), but bc he’s ridiculously good (at using his dick)

—I actually headcanon Sanemi being a ~bashful virgin (sex can be intimate, and intimacy can be scary, but he loves you, so if that means being soft and scared w/ you… then he’s willing to go there 🥺🤍), buuut once he’s comfortable/well practiced?

—😈😈😈

Not much of a show-er when flaccid (and absolutely, positively shriveled when cold 😂), but an ideal 7 inches when erect w/ girth in between Gyomei and Kyojuro (slimmer than Gyo, thicker than Kyo)

His tip seems to get ~angrier the longer you tease him, going from an almost cute pink to an engorged, lustful red — def the hardest part about fitting him in your pussy, breath catching every time he finally slips into your dripping hole

Which, he has to get you dripping before attempting to penetrate, or at least use lube, bc rushed sex + his dick = not super enjoyable

Alternatively, he’ll facefuck you to get his dick wet enough for your pussy, 7 inches manageable, albeit veering on unpleasant, your nails digging into his flexed ass as he shoves himself languid and satisfied into your mouth, head twitching and leaking precum down the back of your throat whenever you gag on his length

“Watch your teeth,” he grunts lowly, tugging warningly at your hair, swallowing a moan as his cock muffles your whimper, eyes watering at his roughness, “Don’t make me gag and choke you,” calloused fingers brushing soothingly—promisingly—at your neck

In terms of pubic hair, he keeps it neatly trimmed, but not clean shaven: he likes hearing—seeing—the filthy mess of your saliva, tears, and precum as he fucks up and into your pussy

“Is this fast enough for you?” he snarls, your body balanced precariously atop his pelvis, grip nearly bruising on your hips as he smirks knowingly, “Obviously not,” pace frenzied as you moan raggedly, “If you’re still moaning like a whore, then it isn’t fast enough.”

Feet shifting beneath him in search of a different angle, grin triumphant and deadly as you shout silently, head tilted backward, tits bouncing in mesmerizing sync w/ his thrusts

“There we go,” he murmurs, balls tightening at your fucked out expression, “There’s my perfect cunt, squeezing all pathetic and hopeless around my cock,” stamina never ending, pussydrunk on the feeling of you, “Can’t wait for you to cum on my cock, gonna make this cunt so fucking sloppy.”

The prettiest dick 😭

—Ik I mentioned Gyomei’s dick being pretty too, but Giyuu takes pretty to another lvl 🥺

Aka Giyuu has the Goldilocks Cock™ 💀

Just shy of 7 inches, w/ thin veins that curl neat and yummy around his shaft — which, btw, is thick enough to have you pushing on his shoulders Slowly, p-please as the tip catches on your entrance, his eyes hooded and glassy as he ignores you in favor of thrusting in further Sorry not sorry at all You feel so g-good

A faint shudder trembles down his spine, pooling in his groin, traveling along his girth, head twitching in the viscous grip of your heat

Maintains a tidy patch of pubic hair, delicate happy trail tantalizing and subtle whenever he stretches 🥱

As for his balls… once again: Goldilocks Balls™ 🤤

Optimally sized for sucking into your mouth, hanging beautifully even, downy hairs tickling your nose as he cups the back of your head, quiet groans spilling from his cherry bitten lips as you glance toward his fluttering lashes, your vision obscured by the muscle of his tensed inner thigh

Giyuu’s fave position? 

—for these headcanons, at least 😆

Cowgirl 🤠 #yee #haw

Your pussy clings to his shaft like a greedy vice, creamy essence smearing from your swollen folds to his lower abdomen, tits presented as you arch backward, using his legs to steady yourself as you fuck yourself on his (perfect) cock

“Touch yourself,” he demands softly, spreading your asscheeks w/ surprisingly cool hands, easily supporting your weight, eyes closing at the satisfying smack of your skin bouncing against his

“Touch yourself till you cum,” his biceps hardly straining as you chase your orgasm, rhythm smooth and delectable, “I want to feel you fall apart,” murmured slick and gentle, in stark contrast to the lewd squish of his balls tapping your asshole

“C’mon sweetheart, fall apart for me, so gorgeous on my cock, love feeling you gush all over me.”

—I pondered long and hard about Tengen’s dick (both puns intended 🤗)

—Lemme organize my thoughts for a sec…

—Girth (from wide to slim): Gyomei, Tengen, Sanemi, Kyojuro, Giyuu, Obanai

—Length (from long to ~short): Gyomei, Tengen, Kyojuro, Sanemi, Giyuu, Obanai

In other words, as the second tallest, Tengen also happens to be the second biggest 🙃

—I initially considered putting him behind Kyo in terms of length, but 198cm aka 6’6” vs 177cm aka 5’10”... the math just wouldn’t have mathed 😆

Erect, Tengen measures a solid 9 inches, and if Obanai’s dick is veiny, then Tengen’s dick = veins GALORE 😵

“Even my dick is flashy! 😎” “It has ✨decor✨!”

His shaft bends slightly downward (blame gravity — his dick’s so fucking heavy 😌), so certain positions can be a bit tricky, but damn if he doesn’t rearrange your insides 🤪

Def enjoys being the center of attention, fucking slow and confident into your stretched out hole, dirty talk muffled by Makio’s thighs as he maintains a steady rhythm licking her folds, Hina’s index finger slim and practiced as she stimulates your clit, Suma’s tongue gliding wet and hot against Tengen’s taint

“What was that?” Makio coos, eyes twinkling as she grinds firmly onto Tengen’s mouth, “We can’t understand you dear,” squealing when he smacks her tits, “You seem a bit preoccupied, try speaking up.”

“S-shit,” you gasp, gripping Hina’s hand, pressure building as Tengen thrusts sharply into you, “D-don’t encourage him Makio,” whining as Hina latches onto your nipple, sucking lightly

“Why not?” Makio giggles, ass wiggling playfully, “Can’t take it?” knowing all too well that, ultimately, your pussy’s paying the price for her teasing

“Hm, you’re so messy babe,” Suma sighs contently, pausing her ministrations to kiss Tengen’s thigh, lips shiny w/ spit and your essence, “Seems like you want Makio to encourage him.”

Hina nods in agreement, eyes narrowed devilishly, twisting your other nipple, “Her clit’s throbbing,” spoken w/ unbearable casualness, “I think she’s going to cum.”

“Are you going to cum?” Tengen asks conversationally, finally taking a breath from Makio’s pussy, engorged tip twitching in your cunt, “I’ve hardly ruined you, and you’re already spasming on my cock.”

“T-tengen,” you whimper, clenching at his taunting tone, falling forward, cheek smooshed into Makio’s back, “So fucking d-deep,” stuttering as the new angle forces his fat head flush to the entrance of your cervix

“Think we can get her to squirt?” Tengen hums smugly, a hypothetical question, really, as you begin convulsing, pussy gushing messily onto his stomach, Hina’s hand glistening, ignoring your meek mewls of T-too much! as she continues rubbing your clit, Suma lapping at your cum as it coats Tengen’s balls, trickling between his asscheeks

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Notes- 21

Aqua Venus’s love style is NOT distant & aloof. If they are distant with you or u don’t know where u stand with them 9 times out of 10 they are very uninterested. When they find that one weirdo (cuz they love unconventionals) they are so romantic and clingy. When they find their person its usually their best friend & they do everything together. I think people assume their love nature is distance because that’s how they treat most people but once they find that person it’s nothing like that at all. They’re just really specific & will ice out anything they don’t vibe with. They are really flirty when they have a crush.

Gemini mars are normally amazing with their hands , if uk what I mean 👀😏

Venus in Libras are really amazing party planners. They are really artistically talented when it comes to decorating & hosting social events. They know how to make their environment aesthetically pleasing & make others comfortable in the process.

Sagittarius risings have really loud laughs. They’re those people that when someone says a joke their laugh is usually funnier than the joke 😂

Cancer risings are always victimizing themselves. If underdeveloped this can be one of the most manipulative cancer placements.

Cancers and Taurus always end up together.

Moon in Scorpios can like attention just as much (if not more) than Leo’s. This may sound really shocking given how reserved this sign usually is. But I notice these people really shine in the spotlight. Most really big celebrities have their Moon in Scorpio.

Venus in Taurus love when people put a lot of thought in when buying/making them gifts. They value sentimental things that you can’t just buy anywhere like a knitted blanket, or art you made, pottery, jewelry etc. they like to know you really pay attention to their interests compared to just getting something name branded or a gift card.

Libra risings are always talking about their exes (they normally have a lot of them) they will always randomly bring them up in convos saying how certain things remind them of their exes. It can get a little annoying sometimes 😂

Aries Venus’s tend to not mind being single for long periods of time. I’ve seen this placement never marry or wait really late to finally decide. They are very independent by nature and it’s usually difficult to keep their attention for the long term. Their flame burns bright in the beginning just for it to burn out just as fast. They need a partner who will keep them on their toes constantly. This can be challenging however because they despise things that become to “stable” & “dull” which is why many just stay single. I also notice the women enjoy flirting & talking to men who are taken or married? I have no idea why but I always see women with this placement in that kinda predicament at-least once in their life. Their need for excitement I believe causes them to go for men that are taken for a sorta “challenge”. (This usually never ends well or how they wanted however).

Neptune in the 10th house people can be confused on what career path to take or can have very delusional unrealistic expectations for their careers. (Ex: wanting to be a famous NFL quarterback but never really practices for it). HOWEVER once they do finally decide on a path people can completely idolize these people to an almost worshipping degree. (I believe Jesus Christ has his Neptune in the 10th house). They can be amazing religious/spiritual leaders as well.

A lot of cult leaders have Pluto in the 11th house. These people can also have a very worshipping fan group if they get big in whatever they’re into but their followers have a darker more intense vibe than Neptune in the 10ths. People can easily be obsessed with these people and will do a lot of irrational things to please them. They can persuade people to do anything.

Lilith conjunct ascendant in synastry can be very scary sometimes. The Lilith person will do anything for the ascendant person even if it could ruin their life. Lilith becomes almost hypnotized by the ascendant person. Gypsy rose Blanchard and her bf at the time Nick had this aspect. Nicks Lilith was conjunct her ascendant & she was able to convince him to murder her mother.

[lavndrmy]

Astro Observations ❤️‍🔥✨

Side note: Again, don’t take this seriously this is only based on my opinion. Enjoy 🌻

✨ Leo women with earth or water venus are literally the sweetest people they are the ones who are very considerate of other people’s feelings (you guys are sweethearts 🥹)

✨ Water suns with water mars are literally the most sensitive and short tempered people like I am actually scared for you guys 💀

✨ Virgo with libra placements or Libra with virgo placements are very very picky on aesthetic and are perfectionist the struggle is real (and yes I am one of them 🥴)

✨ Sagittarius men with capricorn placements are really the player like they always got girls flocking to them like birds they always get girls attentions and yes they are charming 🥵

✨ Scorpio mars with another scorpio mars don’t get along unless theres other good placement between them (I’ve experienced this so many times)

✨ Libra mars are actually problematic they always have bone to pick with someone and yes they tend to manipulate people to get what they want 💀

✨ People with sun opposite/square mars are very competitive and always the one to pick fights with somebody (they are the bullies)

✨ While people with sun conjunct mars are very transparent and have anger issues they really need to put their energy into a good use

✨ Yes gemini venus are players but only the smart and interesting people can keep them for longer 🤷🏻‍♀️

✨ Taurus venus aren’t loyal as they seem because I’ve seen people with this placement with so many partners and a cheater 🚩🚩

✨ Women with cancer mars are the most temperamental compare to men with cancer mars

✨ Taurus moons love them virgo suns yes they like them maybe we give them comfort? 🥹

✨ Yes its true Taurus men are really into other earth women especially capricorn women they always in a long lasting relationship together

✨ 12th house synastry is real guys dreaming about the person you have in the 12th house is real you always will dream about them at some point 🪐

✨ 9th house synastry is actually good for traveling together and yes also spiritual awakening

✨I know a scorpio rising when I see one they eyes are so dark and pitch black and they appearance can look scary too 👀

✨ as a Libra venus I’m always attracted to men with cancer mars like they is always sexual tension or hatred going on 😮‍💨

✨and yes Libra moon/venus wants a pretty or handsome partner so if you not good enough for them they don’t care about you

✨People with 8th house in personal planet are literally the sweetest people I know they been through alot 🤍🤍

✨Gemini suns with cancer venus/mars are literally the most caring and sweetest people around

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao) for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]

[megamindsecretlair]

BOOK UPDATE 11/1/24

Yall 🥲 can I be cocky real quick and yall won't judge me 👀

I've been spending the past week editing my book, getting the inconsistencies out as best as I could. (Like when I described Jasper in a green plaid shirt and it somehow turned into a navy thermal in the same scene 🤣🤣🤣🤣)

And im well and truly done. Its out of my hands. I don't know what else i can do/say to improve on it. Yall i was in here tooting my own mf horn 🥳🥳 i was getting my own self bothered writing some of the 😮‍💨 scenes. Like I wrote that? I snapped like that? Who am I trynma show out for but myself like 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Here's a sneak-sneak chuz I love yall 👀

“Do I get to play in this pussy whenever I want?” He asked.

Her belly flipped. Her mouth dropped open. “Yesss,” she moaned.

“Do I get to keep you?” He asked. He licked his lips and she felt the torturous glides of his tongue on her.

“Forever,” she said.

“Forever,” he said.

👀👀👀

And I realized that yes, writing is fn scary. Posting that writing - let alone publishing it - is downright frightening. But you also gotta have a level of "fuck it, I did that shit" attitude about it. My advice will always be to write what YOU want to see. What turns YOU on. If you have fun, then we having fun boo 😗

Okay, im done being cocky. Chuz its truly because of all of you who've been with me on this writing journey. Who commented and reblogged and told me that I can weave some words around to unlock some knowledge bout themselves 😏😏

You let me be cocky. You gassed me up to believe in myself to make my dream come true. I will be publishing under a pen name, mostly for marketing reasons. The name I chose doesn't have many search results so I won't get lost in the noise. Unlike my real name 😒

Im also hard at work on my website. I want yall to have fun when you visit it. And that vibe is not easy to achieve when you're an over-anxious indecisive person 🫠

Special shoutout to @darqchilddaydreamz and @westside-rot who sent me an ask game that inspired the story of Zora and Jasper and encouraged my silly story to become something. That was the universe stepping up for me.

All this to say is thank you, thank you, a million times thank YOU. I hope you fall in love with Zora and Jasper like I did.

This is where the hard part comes in. Reviews are a must to get any kind of traction with the book. I only ask for a fair and honest review when the book comes out on Goodreads because to be absolutely 💯, I got bills to pay. And I've been skipping out on overtime to get this book done, ya feel me? 😩

I also may or may not have plotted out 5 other books that are all separate stories. One of them may even be a vampire novel. One of them is deff based on Mr. Black. But idkidkidk. Lemme see how this book does first 👀🫣

[antiwhores]

hear me out - being with newly appointed pro hero bakugou and finding out he's a virgin, slowly introducing him into new things and him, the big bad and scary kastuki bakugou, being a whiny baby in bed 👀

could be a series, could be a drabble, I'm just putting my ideas on the table yk 🤷🏽‍♀️

(just read this over, and it's so vague and not descriptive 💀 clearly there's a reason I don't write myself but anywaysss)

You’re so real for this.

He confesses to his virginity one night during patrol - on accident of course. You’re his sidekick, maybe a little higher in rank then him. You LOVE to tease him. People call you crazy for it since hes always so close to blasting you to hell but you dont care. The angry flush on his face always does it for you.

“You probably pay for prostitutes all the time Bakugou!” He clicks his tongue dismissively at you, “The hell I do.” “Just admit you’re a devious pervert! I already know! You wanna know how I know? The way you stare at me when I-“ “IM A VIRGIN. THERE ARE NO PROSTITUTES.”

Big mistake on his part, the teasing gets worse. Who knew that the great Dynamite would let his secretary bully him?

“Hey Dynamite, ‘bet you haven’t even kissed anyone yet, huh?” You blurt one day through a giggle. These files were getting boring and having to sit in silence for too long made you antsy. He mumbled something under his breath before continuing to highlight passages through his reading glasses.

You questioned him but he ignored you. You hated being ignored.

You got up and walked over to him, spinning his chair towards you and supporting yourself on his thighs. “Am I right then?” You cooed, inches before his face. He groaned, “Do your fucking work and leave me alone before I fire your ass.”

Your face immediately lights up, “Oh my god! You haven’t!” A red bush infects his cheeks when he looks away. He looks embarrassed and humiliated and you start to feel bad. “Shut the fuck up, I have before.”

You wrap yours arms around his neck and pull him in to your chest. “Its okay~.” And in the split of a second, without even thinking, you connect your lips to his. It was quick, just a small peck.

But Bakugou was HOOKED. his face was blushed and his breathing was picking up.

He would never admit this but he does have a thing for you. He thinks about you a lot. A LOT. In ways that he shouldn’t whilst being your boss. He finds himself at night thinking about all of your words. Your teases and your lingering touches.

He thinks that you brainwashed him, you’re definitely lying about your quirk. Your quirk has to be a love plague type.

Thats why he grabbed your face and shoved his tongue in your mouth. Thats also why he shoved you on his lap and held you there just so he could hump you like a feral bunny until he came all over himself.

Its also why he’s texting you at 2 am with his cock in his hand.

Katsuki: Oi

Y/n: Whats up, boss?

How is he supposed to ask to fuck you? But not right away? But he still wants to touch and fuck you? Also he wants nudes.

This is too confusing.

Y/n: Your dick is probably in your hand right now. Isn’t it?

He’s adding telepathy to you quirk file tomorrow.

Y/n: I’ll help you out. *one attachment*

You sent a picture of your bare, soapy titties. He didn’t think that he could get harder in his hands. His slow and sensual strokes turned hard and fast until he came on himself for the second time today.

Damn it, you were going to be the end of him.

After last night, you both would meet up. It was never planned but always just whenever he would drag you into an enclosed space with a huge hard on.

“Fuck, can you… can we…” You had to squint to see his expression through the darkness of the closet. He was red from the neck to the ears and he breathed in deep, unsteady breaths.

You had already jerked him off once today. He was whining, gripping his desk so hard that it started to chip when he was closed to his high.

“Hmm, I don’t think you’re ready.” You cooed.

He balled up his fists and clenched his teeth at that. “Im not a fucking teenager.” “Yeah well you cum like one.”

Before he could rebuttal you got on your knees. He immediately closed his mouth as you began to unbuckle his belt. “Ill give you something close to it since I’m so nice.”

You whip out his cock so fast his breath hitches. He’s a lot bigger than you’ve ever taken before. You look down to hide the intimidated smile.

He was puddy in your hands as soon as you took the first lap up his cock. You felt his hands tangle in your hair when you finally went down. A moan slipped out before he could catch it when you deep throated him.

Up and down, up and down. His moans got more and more verbal until he started to speak.

“Fuck…. Tellin’ me I can’t fuck you, i- haah- can handle it.”

You panties felt soaked from the dirty words turned insults dropping from his lips. “Fuckin’ tease.” “This is the only thing- haah- you’re good for.”

You could tell he was close; his cock constricted and his knees started to buckle. Suddenly, he grabbed your head and started to face fuck you. All you could do was grab onto his thighs like your life depended on it until he was done.

He moaned loud and long before coming in heavy ropes down your throat. His whole body shook and his eyes rolled back into his head. “Fuuuuuck.”

He refused to move until you swallowed all of his cum. You went into a coughing fit as soon as he freed you from his fat cock.

He bent down and looked you in your clouded eyes. His face flushed and panting, “Thanks.” He uttered awkwardly.

[machveil]

I would love to hear about your cod x pokemon thoughts 👀👀👀 do you have pokemon teams for any other characters??

nemjun, marry me💍✨ I have so much to say— also, happy Spooky Month, this actually took so long to write. I thought this was going out, like, Sept 28th lol

[note: I think having a full team is overrated, no need for filler when you can just give them Pokémon that feel right, yeah?]

CoD Headcanon: Pokémon Teams

to set up each part I’ll talk about each character minimally, list their teams, and then any amendments based on lore/skins/personal thoughts. characters include: Simon “Ghost” Riley, John “Soap” MacTavish, Captain John Price, Phillip Graves, König, and Sebastian Krueger

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

character analysis - as a Pokémon trainer, Simon already has some good motifs going on in his design. like any good trainer, we’re going off details and vibes. Simon gives me Dark and Ghost type Pokémon vibes, more so given by his skull balaclava and skeleton patterned gloves, not to mention his usually black colored clothes. thematically, I like to think a handful of his Pokémon know Destiny Bond - if Simon’s going down he’s taking you with him

Pokémon team

Dusknoir (caught as a Duskull when he first joins the army) - his ace Pokémon! honestly, Dusknoir is purely chosen off vibes, this man screams owning one. Dusknoir has been with Simon since the beginning of his military life, and subsequently is his first Pokémon. Simon trusts this spirit eating Pokémon with his life. I think it’s move set would be Destiny Bond/Mean Look/Payback/Shadow Ball with the ability Pressure

Polteageist (Phony) - it’s not just because he’s British… it’s also a Ghost type. it’s mostly to be funny, but I have a headcanon reason! I think Simon is a big tea drinker, loves a good cuppa, but he specifically likes black tea. from Pokémon Shield, “Leaving leftover black tea unattended is asking for this Pokémon to come along and pour itself into it, turning the tea into a new Polteageist.” - Simon leaving his tea unattended to get something only to come back to a Pokémon? he caught it while grumbling. I think it’s move set would be Strength Sap/Withdraw/Shell Smash/Shadow Ball with the Weak Armor ability

Gengar - the classic Pokémon fan in me wants Simon to own a Gengar, so he will. thematically, it’s not too bad. Gengar is the Shadow Pokémon, Simon gives off ‘moving around in shadows’ vibes. Simon “dad jokes” Riley is a dry comedy king - stay with me, Gengar usually lurk in shadows laughing… please imagine Simon cracking terrible jokes that his Gengar finds funny. the move set would be Destiny Bond/Night Shade/Spite/Dark Pulse and the ability Cursed Body

Houndstone - I was debating on this being in his team or an amendment Pokémon, but I think the skeletal vibes are too good to not be a main party member. fits Ghost’s vibe, that’s about it haha. from Pokémon Scarlet, “Houndstone spends most of its time sleeping in graveyards. Among all the dog Pokémon, this one is the most loyal to its master.”, and now we all ‘aww’, a loyal dog? give that to Simon right now! has the ability Fluffy and knows Rest/Dig/Destiny Bond(Egg Move)/Phantom Force

team amendments

Alone/Cerberus!Ghost would definitely have a Hydreigon, are you kidding me? looking past the obvious three heads, Hydreigon is the Brutal Pokémon! from Pókemon Shield, “The three heads take turns sinking their teeth into the opponent. Their attacks won’t slow down until their target goes down.” - does that sound familiar? I think it’s move set would be Scary Face/Work Up/Outrage/Body Slam, ability Levitate

Ghost Punk skin - Ghost would definitely own a Toxtricity (Low Key). we’re talking punk Simon Riley here, maybe Rockstar!Simon? the organ on it’s chest sounds like the strumming of a bass guitar, now just imagine Simon singing punk rock/metal. move set would be Scary Face/Overdrive/Boomburst/Shift Gear with the ability Punk Rock

John “Soap” MacTavish:

character analysis - we’re going purely off John’s personality and vibes with his Pokémon! John strikes me as a loyal, energetic man - his team should reflect that. Electric Pokémon would be up his alley, but Pokémon that are generally described as energetic would work too

Pokémon team

Boltund - off the bat, the first Pokémon that came to mind when I thought about Johnny. in my humble opinion, the perfect ace for Johnny! I headcanon Soap going on morning runs and - from the Sword Pokédex - Boltund can run for three full days nonstop, aka it can keep up with John during his morning runs. move set wise, I’m thinking Electric Terrain/Charge/Wild Charge/Crunch with the ability Competitive

Luxray - while it sleeps for long periods of time, his Luxray would be helpful on deployments. from Pokémon Sword, “Luxray can see through solid objects. It will instantly spot prey trying to hide behind walls, even if the walls are thick.”, and, while it mostly sees field time, I think a Luxray would balance Johnny out. while his other Pokémon are amped up, he can take a break with his more relaxed companion. I could see the move set being Thunder Wave/Scary Face/Roar/Volt Switch - I’d imagine his Luxray being a pivot/set up Pokémon, used for status conditions. Luxray’s ability would be Intimidate

Jolteon - are we sensing a pattern with dog-esk Pokémon? anyways, Jolteon is purely me wanting Johnny to have one - that’s it haha, I look at that man and go ‘hmmm, Jolteon’. move set would be Agility/Thunder Fang/Thunder/Last Resort with the ability Quick Feet

team amendments

I don’t particularly have any team amendments for Johnny

John Price:

analysis - this man gives me the vibe that he hunts game as a hobby. rather than focusing on his career, I’m focusing on that headcanon aspect. I think Price would have a lot of Normal type Pokémon, he just seems like an average Joe sort of guy off duty. Price strikes me as the type to always have a plan B, so a handful of his Pokémon know Last Resort

Pokémon team

Stoutland - Price owning a Stoutland just feels right, you know? definitely his ace, and as a partner for hunting game, if Price were to hunt in the winter… from Pokémon Y, “Being wrapped in its long fur is so comfortable that a person would be fine even overnight on a wintry mountain.”, it’s also a rescue Pokémon, so if someone needed help then Price could send Stoutland out. also, Stoutland just looks like it was made for Price, anyways, move set! Work Up/Retaliate/Reversal/Last Resort and the ability Intimidate

Unfezant (female) - back on the hunting theme, I think Price found a wounded Tranquill while he was out. after it healed up, it wouldn’t leave Price alone/return to the wild so he caught it. I think a female one would be better because, compared to the male, they can fly better. Price lets his Unfezant scout the area from above for any dangerous wild Pokémon (Ursaring, Trevenant, Bewear, etc). move set would be Tailwind/Roost/Steel Wing(TM)/Sky Attack and the ability Big Pecks

Dubwool (Shiny) - I like the shiny better, sue me. anyways, this is another one that just feels right. I look at Dubwool and go ‘hmmm, give it to Price’, if anything, maybe Retired!Price lives on a ranch with his fluffy friend. move set, I’m thinking Cotton Guard/Defense Curl/Double Kick/Last Resort, ability Steadfast

Skwovet - I think Price needs a critter, just a little guy. a low level, tiny pal - maybe Price just got attached to this fella that wouldn’t leave him alone, cue them bonding and Price feeding Skwovet some berries. move set would be Tail Whip/Bite/Stockpile/Swallow with the Cheek Pouch ability

amendments

I don’t really have any amendments for Price’s team, I just want the man to have some Normal type buddies to relax with

Phillip Graves:

analysis - Graves actually started this thought process for me because I thought it would be funny if he owned a Braviary lol, so here we are. for Graves I’m going off vibes and the rule of cool - I’m picking based on Pokémon I think he’d have in my opinion. also, I think Graves, out of everyone, would teach his Pokémon TMs the most

…don’t think too much about the move sets and abilities I gave his Pokémon

Pokémon team

Braviary - American king, give this man the fucking eagle Pokémon lmao. that’s it, that was my thought process, it’s his ace. move set would be Hone Claws/Aerial Ace/Rest(TM)/Shadow Ball(TM), yes, I’m giving it Shadow Ball purely for the Shadow Company, his entire team is a joke to me I’m sorry. anyways, ability is Defiant

Rotom - I feel like the tech aspect of Rotom being able to take over devices/appliances would be helpful to Graves? maybe not, but I also like the vibe Rotom gives off and my gut says to give it to Graves. move set would be Trick/Substitute/Eerie Impulse(TM)/Poltergeist(TM) with the Levitate ability

Drakloak - my brain says to give this man Drakloak (that will eventually evolve into Dragapult). I feel like, out of a handful of CoD characters, Graves would own a pseudo legendary. move set would be Lock On/Dragon Dance/Dragon Rush/Phantom Force and the ability Infiltrator

Mightyena - look! an actual headcannon! I feel like, if this were in the Pokémon universe, the Shadow Company would make for a good ‘evil team’. with that in mind, maybe it’s just Team Magma bouncing around inside my head, but I feel like Mightyena would be a good pick for Price. not just with the color scheme and general vibe from Mightyena, but when I think of evil teams in Pokémon Maxie’s Mightyena always comes to mind first. I’m thinking Moxie for the ability and Yawn/Roar/Double-Edge(TM)/Shadow Ball(TM) for the move set

team amendments

purely because it’s the Shadow Pokémon… maybe a Gengar? it’s only because of the Shadow Company connection, but I think it’d be funny. move set would be Spite/Shadow Ball/Shadow Punch/Imprison(TM) with the Cursed Body ability

König:

analysis - are we ready for some König bias? I am! sweet boy, I think he’d be a Ghost and Grass type trainer. I headcanon him being super into nature - hikes, camping, ect. also, he has a ghillie suit skin so… Grass type methinks. the Ghost type is also a little forest-y, haunted woods where he finds himself at home among the Grass and Ghost type critters. maybe he can empathize with the Ghost types because people deem them scary and not approachable? hmmm?

Pokémon team

Shuppet - Shuppet physically reminds me of König’s sniper hood. it’s why I originally was like ‘yup, give it to him’. from Pokémon Violet, “It feeds on the dark emotions of sadness and hatred, which make it grow steadily stronger.”, Pokémon Scarlet expands on that by saying ‘envy and malice’, I think König holds a lot of negative emotions from how he was treated in his childhood by his peers - fellow students making fun of him and generally tormenting him. I think Shuppet tries to cheer him up even though it’s primarily feeding off those emotions, it’s still his companion Pokémon, and one that recognizes the hurt he’s gone through. move set would be Curse/Spite/Shadow Sneak/Shadow Ball with the Cursed Body ability

Mimikyu - speaking of unapproachable, Mimikyu! König feels for the poor thing, trying to be liked by fitting in as a beloved Pokémon. they just get each other, maybe he found the little thing stalking the halls of KorTac (how’d it get in? who knows). while not his ace, König is very attached to his Mimikyu. move set would be Charm/Hone Claws/Shadow Claw/Play Rough with the ability Disguise

Eevee (will evolve into a Sylveon) - give this man comically small animals, please. he loves this Eevee, it will evolve into a Sylveon and he will pamper it even more if that’s possible. I just think that, if anyone gets a mascot Pokémon - let alone Eevee, it should be König. is it generically cute and fluffy? yes, and he eats that up. it’s move set would be Baby-Doll Eyes/Copycat/Bite/Yawn(Egg Move) with the Adaptability ability

Sawsbuck (caught as a Deerling) - please give the big man a deer!! he loves them - they’re dainty, extremely agile, the opposite of his towering build. a go-to hiking buddy for König, not that he doesn’t hike with other party members, but Sawsbuck really likes walking with him. move set would be Sunny Day(TM)/Horn Leech/Solar Beam/Zen Headbutt and the ability Chlorophyll

Trevenant - gut feeling, I just want König to have the big tree. he’s a big man, he can totally rock owning a big tree. anyways, another ‘König likes the forest’ Pokémon, and it’s a Grass and Ghost type, perfect. it would have the Natural Cure ability and know Forest’s Curse/Sunny Day/Burning Jealousy(TM)/Phantom Force

Decidueye - saved his ace for last. Decidueye is basically a sniper, you feel me? it has the bow and arrow situation going on, it’s Hidden Ability is Long Reach - sniper shit, it doesn’t make physical contact with any move. Grass/Ghost type? A+, perfect, astounding. you need to read both it’s Sun and Moon Pokédex entries because they read as ‘it’s a sniper’ and ‘it’s König’. from Sun, “It fires arrow quills from its wings with such precision, they can pierce a pebble at distances over a hundred yards.”, and from Moon, “Although basically cool and cautious, when it’s caught by surprise, it’s seized by panic.”, I rest my case. plus, plus, it’s literally a hooded Pokémon, it pulls on the ‘drawstrings’ of its hood to focus. literally made for König, I’m telling you it’s perfect. it’s move set would be Synthesis/Shadow Sneak/Spirit Shackle/Leaf Blade with the ability Long Reach

team amendments

during his time as an Insertion Specialist, I could see König having a Bewear. I feel like having it be a permanent member of his team wouldn’t fit - not because it doesn’t match him, it does. I just think Bewear would be… I don’t know, specifically for field work? it’s move set would definitely cater to busting tough stuff down, so, Strength/Thrash/Superpower/Double-Edge with the Fluffy ability

I think that, as a child, there was a stray Glameow in König’s neighborhood. not that he caught it, but I think he definitely hung out with it a lot CatDad!König bias. at some point, during his teens, it stopped coming around though. he still thinks about it, I think that it was decently low leveled so it’s move pool would be Scratch/Growl with the Own Tempo ability

Sebastian Krueger:

analysis - I feel like he’d be a Dragon and Grass type user, just me? I just look at his base design and see a Dragon and Grass trainer - you can fight me over it, I’d also except Bug or Poison type Krueger

Pokémon team

Tangrowth - I’m right end of discussion. give this man the big wad of sentient vines, it feels right in my soul. Krueger already uses that camouflage veil and dresses is greens, might as well give him some mobile cover too. Stun Spore/Poison Powder/Grassy Terrain/Power Whip with the Regenerator

Gloom - let me preface by saying all his team members are gut feelings and going with vibes because Gloom? Gloom just feels like a Krueger Pokémon. it’s a stunner/poisoner, I feel like Krueger can match Glooms energy, fucking people up— and other Pokémon, but like… fucking people up mostly. it would have Sunny Day(TM)/Sleep Powder/Petal Dance/Moonlight with the Chlorophyll ability

Carnivine - do I just want Krueger to have some James and Jesse type shenanigans with a Carnivine? …yeah. yeah, I do. but it also matches his vibe in my heart, a freaky little plant for a freaky little man. move set would be Leech Seed(Egg Move)/Leaf Tornado/Power Whip/Crunch with the Levitate ability

Haxorus - okay. tell me I’m wrong. do it, you can’t - Haxorus was made by Nintendo for Krueger. an armored dragon with axes made for… axing things down? perfect for Krueger, destruction buddies. has the ability Rivalry and knows Iron Tail(Egg Move)/Dragon Dance/Guillotine/Outrage

team amendments

Druddigon is another dragon that screams Krueger. it’s all rough n’ tough, a little cave dweller for the man? methinks it’s be an okay match. has the move set Glare(Egg Move)/Iron Head/Dragon Claw/Outrage with the ability Rough Skin

does Goodra necessarily have Krueger written all over it? no, but I want the man to have a gooey guy. Krueger is so freaky and aggressive and Goodra is so friend shaped, this is a classic duo if I’ve ever seen one. has the ability Hydration and knows Life Dew(Egg Move)/Rain Dance/Muddy Water/Power Whip

follow up thoughts:

I’m not sure if this would take place in the Pokémon world or if it’s just Call of Duty… but Pokémon exist. I’m not going to think too hard about that because it feels like opening a can of worms lol

these were just fun, I’ve been thinking about CoD x Pokémon for a couple weeks and it was nice putting this out here

I have my own Pokémon OC (Beatrice) and it was wild thinking of how she’d interact with them if this were in the Pokémon world

[just-a-floofy-catt]

I feel like i haven't posted in forever again TwT

I found an old GlitterGolf idea drabble that I wrote after reading a really good fic about them buried in the depths of my phone so uh...

*throws it at you*

Omg a glittergolf fic with judgemental, sassy, hw2-esque Sun

So like, not only is there the trope of Monty disliking him and thinking hes annoying asf and a weird freak,  but now instead of being oblivious and nice, Sun returns the same energy, thinking that Monty is a selfish brute who shouldnt be trusted around children. Like, he'll make very off  comments about him and just spend the whole time scowling and trying to shoo him out XD

So, like, imagine there's a thing going on at the daycare.

Where, as almost like, a way to bring more business in and shit, theyve started having a daily thing where one of the glams will visit the kids there and do an activity with them for an hour or so. Usually its Freddy, sometimes its Chica, and rarely its Roxy. This is the first opportunity that Sun really gets to meet them, and it actually goes really well. Sun absolutely adores Freddy, has a new bestie in chica, and shockingly has some good banter and an unlikely friendship with Roxy.

However, theres a day where Freddy has to go for energency maintenence, and the others are all booked for parties.

Leaving only Monty free to do it.

Now, Monty has never done one of the shifts before, because he doesnt do well with the younger kids. Both because hes scary to alot of them, and because he also just doesnt really know how to deal with them. Maybe deep down theres even a deep rooted fear of hurting them 👀👀👀

(There definitely is)

But so he is absolutely NOT excited to go.

Despite the way that the rest of the Glams praise up Sunny and how great he is, Monty does not care and still views him as the same annoying freak he always did, despite not having met him yet.

So, he shows up and Sun opens the door all cheery being like "Oh hello Freddy! Youre a bit late i was worried you werent gonna show up and-"

And then he clocks that its monty.

"Oh."

He immediately glares down at him in pure, utter distain, voice filled with disappointment and mirth.

Monty stares back up at him with a huff, tense. If he had fur, his hackles would be absolutely raised.

Then Sun would be all like "ugh. Ew. why are you here", and Monty very bluntly explains that hes been forced to go and that Freddy is in maintenence.

Then Sun tries to shut the door on him XD

"Im sure the kids can go one day without a glamrock then! Ill let them know freddy is sick, thank you for telling me. Lovely to meet you, Montgomery!"

Monty stops the door by grabbing it stongly with his hand, scoring clawmarks into it.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Sun scoffs at the damage

"Im the one taking over, dipshit. Im here to do my fuckin job"

The realization that hes truely stuck with Monty dawns on him, and he opens the door again, taking a deep breath.

"No swearing in the daycare..."

He spits it through gritted teeth and relents, turning his back to him and stalking away.

Then the cheery front goes back up and he completely changes XD

He introduces Monty to the kids as best as he can, but none of them really seem too interested, making him both snicker but also be incredibly frustrated that his dramatic intro didnt work.

(Also, to explain more character stuff, Sun is mostly in typical fanon form, and then uses all that hw2 sass mostly as a defence mechanism. Hes definitely got some mischief to him that he also uses it for, like banter with Roxanne, but for the most part hes a sweetheart. He gets easily frustrated with management and people that he doesnt like, but has alot of patience with activities like crafts and also with the kids. He is still like, painfully innocent and has his loopy childlike vibe, but just covers it up when he feels threatened. The best way i can describe it is that he acts like a playground bully when he doesnt like you. XD Still childish, but now just a more snarky, cold and mean version. Hes a bit cautious of some new things, although very curious. So he normally is a bit cautious around new people, but very welcoming and nice.

This is different for Monty, because of what he hears from the kids XD

Alot of them when mentioning him in passing, see Monty as scary and violent, so now thats how Sun views him. Alot of the kids see him as a threat, so now Sun does too. Hes protective of the kids, so of course hes jumped to judge someone he doesnt know based on whether the kids like him or not XD

Dont get me wrong, in some situations hed definitely try to show the kids the thing theyre scared of isnt so bad, but in the case of Monty, he has confirmation  that he can be angry and violent from the other glams and staff, so of course he still just sees him as bad lmao.

Like, the way he acts towards Monty is mostly because of mama bear instinct stuff. He sees him as a threat to the kids  so he doesnt like him.)

Enemies to lovers my beloved ✨️

But over time, Monty starts having to do it more and more, as inconveniences keep piling up, and Sun starts to kind of let his guard down, and the scathing defensiveness turns into teasing. He sees Monty actually trying to connect with some of the kids, and also after spending his whole life w Moon, understands that Monty is frustrated that theyre scared of him. He starts to see the good in Monty, and also pity him a bit.

Monty on the other hand, starts to admire how much Sunny cares about the kids, and steadily gets used to his upbeat and overly cheery demeanor. He no longer sees him as annoying, but instead, endearing.

And then theres eventually endgame GlitterGolf

[moghedien]

the dynamic of the tav I'm playing and Minthara is gonna be SO fun because like imagine the scrawniest little half-drow girl anyone's ever seen who is drow on her father's side (disgusting) and was mostly raised by her human side so she hasn't been around many drow in general and has never met a female drow. and like all she'd hear about female drow from the people around her is like, bad terrible things probably so she's just living her whole life like "ok I have to be extra good all the time forever then" and then she does the absolute worst job she can conforming to drow gender norms (possibly on purpose) and becomes a wizard of all fucking things and she's just gonna be a scrawny little good girl wizard forever so that no one thinks she's scary

and then brainworms happen and she's gotta go save all these people from the goblins like a good little girl and uh oh she finds out that there's a drow lady meeting these goblins and she's like 👀 despite it all and Minthara ends up being the first female drow she's ever met in her entire life and when she meets her, uh oh, she IS being scary and mean and threatening to mutilate and torture people uh oh every story she's ever heard is right

and the second Minthara notices her, its like

like "uh oh, the scary mean (and hot) drow lady you just met immediately notices you and grabs you by the brain and caresses it, then shows you a psychosexual interaction she had with the most deranged person in the world" all before Minthara even verbally acknowledged her and she's just like

and uh oh, now the scary drow lady she just met is immediately after that telling her they're going to slaughter the tieflings together and you know what, maybe if Karlach wasn't behind her and she wasn't at a terminal stage of "gotta be a good girl" syndrome, then she would because the thing she's been scared of her entire life is actually very hot and also instead of being scary at her, tried to take her by the hand (brain) and lead her to glory without hesitation. maybe she could have been convinced or strong armed into it

but you know, I'm not being evil yet and now Halsin is telling this very confused little half drow that she has to kill all the goblin leaders, including Minthara and you know what, maybe she did think she did it, or maybe she noticed Minthara was still breathing and just kept her mouth shut and was like "Yup, they're all definitely dead" and time passes and she continues her adventures and all and is just wondering what happened to that drow lady who she left unconscious in a pile of dead goblins after having the most confusing interaction with in her entire life.

and then she finds that scary mean (and hot) drow lady again several days or even weeks later, after having some time to process her confused feelings and probable attraction, but resigning herself to it not being something that's gonna come up again

and when she meets Minthara again, who lived up to being all the terrifying things that she was supposed to be the first time meeting, Minthara's looking like

[silvermeww]

okay, when was someone going to tell me that

oh, idk, steven started at 19, burgh has a younger sister, clay actually isn't born american, skyla's whole fam thing and ELESA IS 15???? (even younger than skyla like wtf???)

(also the 'alder' at the bottom is supposed to be drayden lol)

and that's not all

say hello to:

viola being 18??? 'black whirlwind' korrina, RAMOS MEETING AZ'S FLOETTE AS A KID, genderfluid and apparently also age-fluid olympia, CLEMONT?? AND HIS WHOLE THING DOWN TO BEING 12 OF ALL AGES???

(you know what, marlon being 30 definitely makes sense with the hippie vibes)

wikstrom SAYING that he only wears that suit in pokemon battles but i've never seen his casual wear, malva being pr for flare lol, drasna selling dragon merch + great family lore if you want to know, siebold having to third-wheel lysandre and sycamore while eating (move aside malva, you're not the only elite 4 dealing with this) and 20?? YEARS OLD?? DIANTHA????????????

(way too many men in kalos are getting ladies, c'mon)

ethan being into history is such a neat detail hmmm, idk much of the frontier brains ngl, and we've finally got the region for looker and it's... hoenn??? you know what, makes sense with his chaotic vibes so i'll take it (throws away unova taped to a rock behind my back). also he's abolsutely cheating we all see that he's just relying on knowing us as protags, should've known smh

(um i think someone said that 'caitlin' should've been anabel but idk)

oh and the last one is charon, if we care about how much of a loser he really is. forget about birch and the poochyena, this guy is the lowest heh. imagine being charon (please don't).

(when the protags of johto are the same age as clemont lol) (yeah i know there are years between those events just let me have this)

and last but not least:

aaron 🤝 valerie: wanting to be pokemon (and ig gotta toss in shauntal with the ao3 writer gift heh, don't know if they would commission her or stay away), bertha's description???? i love flint just saying, cynthia 👀👀 is absolutely doing something illegal 👀👀, roark is WHAT??? (child labour laws in sinnoh must be lax ngl), maylene as well???? fantina watching scary movies is something i'll have to incorporate into my worldview and bryon?? are you okay??

so yeah. credit goes to @/KuroBlitz96 on the twitter/x for having this up, i'm just here to project sheer surprise at this massive dump of ages... my thoughts on pokemon have completely turned on its head once more lol (this is fine)

[pilferingapples]

@bobafish, re:

#please elaborate on courf's temper 👀👀#tbh I hadn't heard that before

OK! :D these are just Thoughts about him character wise and not like...deep XD

to be clear I don't think Courfeyrac has a BAD temper, I don't think he's a screamy scary guy who blows his top all the time! I want to make that clear; Courfeyrac is clearly A Delight and a charmer.

I do think he has a quick temper, though--quick like a firecracker, where it flares up and dies back in a blink, and , usually ,doesn't do any harm. Two main points make me think this: 1- the Charter Torching Scene. He's just talking with Combeferre, who he knows fundamentally agrees with him, but he gets so worked up about the existence of the Charter itself that he has to throw it in the fire. This is fine! It's a stupid pamphlet none of them need, he's being Dramatic and it's very funny-- but it's definitely not a Relaxed Easygoing Move XD It's pretty much a summary of how I think his temper works-- he gets riled up, he makes a quick comment or gesture (in this case: Setting A Thing on Fire) and he's done. A quick temper, not a bad temper. 2- "Hold your tongue, you cask!" said Courfeyrac. (Night Falls on Grantaire) Couldn't think of any better leadup to it than that XD Courfeyrac is the first of the barricade fighters to lose his patience with Grantaire; it's not a big scene , it's just a quick "shut up" with a little extra insult, and --as I've said of Enjolras' rebuke to Grantaire in this scene-- it is fully deserved, Grantaire is being an ass in this scene. I don't think Grantaire even processes it, he just launches off in another direction. >< But he is the first person to tell Grantaire to shut up, getting exasperated with him even faster than Enjolras, who is pretty much Done with Grantaire's nonsense from the get-go.

There's also the way he's so quick with teasing, sometimes with results you know he doesn't want (like Marius avoiding him for days XD) . All of the Amis are pretty jokey, but Courfeyrac's noted by the narrative to be particularly fast on the draw with a nickname or a bit of a jab.

Again I hasten to say I don't think this makes him a Terrible Person-- I actually kinda roll my eyes at the level of Offense some people take off him -- but I think it's a little piece of characterization that separates him from Legle's more monologuing style of puns, or Grantaire's ...whatever the heck Grantaire is doing XD Courfeyrac gets associations with fire, for his warmth, and sometimes even a nice well contained fire can send out a spark that makes someone yelp; and he gets compared with cats and kittens, and sometimes even a very sweet cat will catch someone with its claws in passing- or on purpose, now and then .

(I bet he can be absolutely brutal when he wants, but that's reserved for people who have it coming. Like Rousseau. Kick his ghostly ass, Courfeyrac.)

[vanitythevantropist]

Mkay so it took me way too long but I have finally created new art :3 (I finished these a while ago and forgot to post them but SHHHHH)

Anyways, these characters are from my absolute favourite and most well developed story in the roster; Stones of Gold. The love I have for thus story and its characters cannot be put into words. They are my everything

Anyways, here they are :3

Characters featured (left-right): Zepsun and Casaraua

Cas is the main POV character of SoG and I love him to death, he’s one of my favourite characters in all of my stories😭 He was raised on a farm by his mom after his dad left her (he left because Cas is what is known as a Rune Shifter which I’ll explain later). He’s not the best with social interaction due to never having interacted much. He’s very shy and afraid of everything, even though he literally had super strength. He becomes the newest member of the main group behind the next guy

Zep, fun fact, is actually a minor antagonist in the beginning👀 He joins the main group last because of issues. Anyways, he was taken under some emperor’s wing after the guy saves him from slavery as a child which totally fucked with his psyche (as it should). Zep’s pretty closed off and tends to get defensive. He fears anyone who can beat him in a fight. He is also a rune shifter

They become very gay later on

Characters featured (left-right): Chryo and Cyruss

I fucking love Chryo to death, she’s just so fun. She is a TANK of a woman (and a Rune Shifter as well). I’d say she’s pretty motherly and sweet when interacting with people she likes but, when you threaten someone she loves, she’ll become your worst nightmare. She’s determined as fuck and very snarky, especially to her boyfriend. She was the first to join the group (AKA she created it LMAO)

Cyruss canonically has gigantism, making him very tall👀 He’s Chryo’s girlfriend and is definitely the more mellow of the two. He’s a musician (haven’t named or drawn the instrument yet but it’s kinda like a guitar/banjo hybrid Ig???) and enjoys his more gothic music n stuff like that (I imagine his music to sound like The Awakening or Miracle of Sound, or both) He’s a bit scary to many due to his quieter nature and darker colours, but he’s a very nice and chill guy with a lot of good advice to share. Like his girlfriend, he definitely knows how to fight :3 He joined the group second, though the last two basically joined with him so (The group as in the friend/rogue group, btw). Heis not a shifter

Characters featured (left-right): Drélan and Mitzen

Drélan is an ex knight who left due to disagreeing with his king. He had since become close friends with a viking, a gothic musician and an assassin (as well as a traumatised gay man and a farmer boy later on, obviously). He’s a very kind and selfless person who takes no bullshit from anyone every. This dude will literally stand between you and god. He sorta becomes a father figure to Cas in the story and they do strong man stuff together (like fix carts and talk about animals, obviously)

Mitzen is an ex assassin, leaving her guild for similar reasons to Drélan. They were once on opposing sides but became good and loyal friends once they both left their groups. She’s a ‘tough love’ kinda gal, shoving her friends into situations whether they like it or not. Like Zep, she’s pretty closed off but she’s definitely calmer and more composed than he is (due to being older and more mature)

They are the only characters in the group that aren’t in a romantic relationship with each other🤣 You can still ship them, tho :3

ANYWAYS, the ✨lore✨

Y’all are probably wondering what a Rune Shifter is, right? Yeah, I thought so👀 I’ll do my best to explain!

A Rune Shifter is a magical being with gem/rock/whatever material casings covering certain parts of their bodies (for reference, Zep, Cas and Chryo are Shifters). One-Runed Shifters are the most common, Two-Runed Shifters are rare, Three-Runes Shifters are VERY rare (90% of critters never see a single one in their lives) and Four-Runed Shifters are saved for myths n shit (no one knows if they’re even real) (Examples; Zep is a double shifter - meaning he had two magic types at once, making him a Two-Runed Shifter - Cas is a Three-Runed Shifter and Chryo is a One-Runed Shifter)

Shifters’ powers are element based (for example; Zep in an ice/water Shifter, Cas is a Sun Shifter and Chryo is a Moon Shifter (or Moon Rune and Cy likes to call her). There are quite a few of them and I haven’t written them all down yet, so🤣 Anyways, they all have different abilities (having more runes= more powers). More examples!! Ice Shifters can control ice, Water Shifters can control water, Sun Shifters are typically protective forces (with force field n super strength and all that), Moon Shifters can multiply and become invisible, etc. (It’s all still a wip so💀)

An ability all Shifters have is the ability to shift (duh) into Rune Beast forms. Rune Beast forms are like monster forms, they can take on any appearance but mostly take the appearance of different already existing animals (also a WIP). Many believe that the form you discover always means something

Now, for the ✨worldbuilding✨

Basically; Rune Shifters are powerful and scary so non-Rune Shifters hate them. Shifters are discriminated against and feared. Any mother to have a Shifter child and keep is also despised (basically Cas’ and his mother’s backstory lmao)

Omg this is a long ass post lmao-

But bro, I can’t help myself😭 I fucking live this story and the characters to DEATH and I hope y’all like em too💕

If you have any questions regarding the story, feel free to reblog or reply with said questions!

[a-usernamelol]

#1 ZOMBIE AU ALLAN PLS.

I need to know how he's like in a zombie apocalypse, especially if ma boi Sylvan is the one creating the virus for the zombies 🤣

PFFT

*rubs hands together as a Resident Evil fan*

SO.

PERCHANCE.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD. OF ALBERT WESKER.

Cus he would SO be equivalent to him 🤣

He’s the big bad guy 100%. He might not have created the virus (but he probably helped research it in some way 👀) and when the virus breaks out he just becomes this evil mastermind taking FULL advantage of the situation.

very “Seven Minutes, Seven Minutes Is All I Can Spare To Play With You” asshole vibes.

If he helped make the virus he knows how to MANIPULATE it. And he does if we’re going off Resident Evil zombie logic which I am its my fav zombie series then he’d probably intentionally inject into people to manipulate/mutate/strengthen people. Oh the “good guys have broken into your lab? Wham bam yes man instant army service LOL

Yeah, if you have the stupid scientists who made the virus, HE would be the Big Bad Scary Scientist Who 100% Knew Wtf He Was Doing, Did It Anyway, And Now Wants To Kill Everybody :3

why? Idk he was bored and world domination seemed fun

Also since again I’m basing my zombie AU on Resident Evil then he’d 100% Wesker himself and inject himself with the virus to be stupidly strong 😒 dumbass

[wlwinry]

do you have anymore thistlecaster headcanons 👀

its been a thousand years since i got this ask im so sorry irl and writing stuff has just been a nightmare. but to answer your question, yes, i do!

gorgug games. for fun. fabian, as a guy raised on the celestine sea who only got to solace at like age 14-16 (i refuse to believe he was adventuring for two years and was still at level one), does not. gorgug decides he's gonna show fabian how

this leads to the thistlecaster purrmon (pokemon) spiritsteel (soulsilver) playthrough

fabian meanwhile is perfectly content to watch gorgug play but he's so genuinely touched by how much gorgug wants to share this hobby with him that he's immediately all in

he's got the controls but he spends most of his time leaning against gorgug's chest holding the fantasy ds and asking for advice

they pick a starter together. it's named hang and the next two purrmon are van and man

when they're eventually full adults doing full adult things they like to surprise each other with sweet meaningful gestures

gorgug will drop by fabian's studio during late rehearsals with coffee (for caffeine) and dinner (for sustenance). all of fabian's fellow dancers adore this guy btw. theyre constantly bemoaning the fact that fabian is hot and rich and has a cute boyfriend who treats him wonderfully and fabian is just like >:) yes i am and yes i do

(he frequently is brought to tears by this though. no one believes he takes gorgug for granted bc theyve caught him tearing up over the notes gorgug puts in his dinner bag)

similarly fabian will stop by when gorgug is in class (getting a teaching degree bc he does not care what aguefort says he's getting a degree before he starts meddling in the lives of kids. also double-majoring in arcane engineering) to whisk him away for lunch

if gorgug has an exam coming up he is all in on making sure gorgug gets as much study time as he needs

he will also show up before the exam starts and quite firmly kiss gorgug and tell him that no matter what happens he will always be the most wonderful person and the greatest wizard of this age

all gorgug's classmates are confused but it gets gorgug to laugh and not be so stressed going into the exam

and after every exam fabian brings gorgug flowers

also in combat they're so. scary

i can't emphasize this enough

it's like fighting people who can read each other's minds. as the main martial and melee combatants for their party (and i think the bad kids still do adventure, they just limit it to once per year for a while) theyre really used to fighting as a team

they know each other's body language so well and they balance each other perfectly. gorgug's strength and endurance and fabian's dexterity and speed. theyre scary

they adore each other so very much. and tease each other a lot but still

theyre everything to me

[mae-i-scribble]

Seeing that one reblog of yours about the manhwa I Became The Male Lead's Adopted Daughter really intrigued me! Is it a good one? 👀

Funny story about that, after your reblog brought the post to my attention again and after talking with a friend on discord about stories that subvert tropes I just went back and reread that entire manhwa up to the end of season 2 so this is great timing XD. Im summary: It's absolutely worth your time if you're a fan of father/isekaied daughter fantasy, if you're an isekai manhwa fan in general, or if you just want a well made fantasy father daughter story. Its fantastical concepts are handled with a grounded maturity that most stories in the same genre just don't manage to pull off because it takes the time to truly flesh out its characters as human being first and any tropes last.

The long story is below the cut, I'll be discussing vague spoilers throughout seasons 1 and 2. (side note, im using the official TL names for this bc i like em better)

I Became the Male Lead's daughter has a lot going for it, first of which being Pelliot, the cold duke of the north who adopts Lionia from the orphanage. Most manhwa of this nature have the isekaied person be our main pov with brief glimpses into the parent's perspective, usually done more for plots sake or to comment on how strange the isekaied child is acting. Pelliot shares the protagonist spotlight with Lionia because this story is about both of them concurrently- in fact, we don't even get a look int Lionia's head to find out she's been isekaied until chapter 8(i think, either way its after chapter 5). Before that we get to know her from how Pelliot and the people at the estate see her. Which is such a refreshing take for me, especially when you consider that Pelliot while a stereotypical "violent and competent northern duke who becomes a parent" in theory, is actually played out in a grounded way. The reason he even wanted a child is because he's feeling lonely and he sees how his best friend (yes!! our cold duke has friendships!! and they're super sweet!!) is so happy with 2 children, that he goes about getting a child in the most pragmatic way possible. He is violent and regularly commits war crimes, but he isn't cruel to his staff or his knights as is standard fair for these archetypes. (Can't say the manhwa avoids classist tropes, but such is the way when you have noble protagonists and don't want to make them look complicit in a degrading class system but overall things are handled well enough in that regard). Pelliot, in his fatherhood, also avoids falling into trope traps yet again by being a very believable first time parent. He struggles to adjust to Lionia's emotional needs but is learning, he goes to his knights for advice, he's studying Lionia and trying to make sure she gets a proper childhood and does his best to protect her from further exposure to violence beyond what happens with the abusive orphanage staff. They have a believable banter and play off each other to a scary degree, and while he loves her and worries for her he isn't an overbearing protective trope either. I feel like this is already too long but like. He's such a cool protag to have in a genre that tends to have very narrow and singular dynamics of parent/child relationships. And this isn't even talking about the other relationships we see him have with his peers which are just as good.

Moving onto our other protagonist, Lionia, the post made by @living-as-the-enemy-prince HERE (which clearly you have read but in case other curious souls want to look at it) sums a large part of what makes her work. This is a story that fully realizes its concept to the most effective degree. And I love in turn the story addresses the trauma that comes with being reincarnated- not only from a "i miss my home and family and friends" but from the inherent trauma of being an adult only to one day become a child. Lionia didn't get a chance to rest, she was thrown into a life of abuse, all her agency stolen from her, forced to look after the other orphans because she was the only one who could thus she felt responsible. That sort of disruptive event isn't something that can be brushed off, and it shows in the way Lionia is deeply insecure about her relationship to Pelliot. In this way their dynamic is made equivalent from both sides- in many stories its almost one sided, with the parent figuring out this relationship naturally and the isekaied child playing things 'for the story' and only recognizing the relationship theyve built later (thank you wmmap for helping solidify that -_-). It's truly so well thought out and every aspect of the central relationship feels so natural.

As for the story at large, I'm very excited to see what the plot has in store. As of season 2 of the manhwa, we're only just starting to kick things off plot wise, up until now its been far more concerned with relationship building and giving us a foundation on these characters. But things are definitely cooking now that we've heard mention Baria- the protagonist of the novel Lionia read in her past life (I could probably write another blurb about how well that is being handled but this post is so long already so). On that note though, don't be worried about that "oh but i have to follow the original plot against all common sense and reason" trope bc that doesn't matter at all here. Lionia has her concerns when it comes to the story, some of her insecurities stem from the fact that Pelliot never had a daughter in it, mentioned or otherwise, but at the end of the day she doesn't give a shit, she just wants her dad to have a happy and peaceful life.

Tbh anyone who hasn't read this should absolutely give it a chance bc I haven't even mentioned half the things I find cool about it like all the side characters that I love or the empress storyline that I am eyeing with extreme interest, etc etc

[writing-whump]

👀 Do I feel that *a little confrontation* between Matt and Hector is coming? Probably with Seline arriving earlier from her trip, just in the middle of.... well.

Isaiah, hang in there, you self-destructive boy, you have a whole team to take care of you, when they finally stop trying to kill each other... 🔥🔥🔥

(with their glances, of course)

Let's see nonny, what I can deliver ;) super inspiring ask btw, I was going in circles with another version, but this got me into a new direction I like much more :D Have some angstying, pained Isaiah with Hector and Matthew as caretakers.

At your mercy

Isaiah was helpless.

Since he was a pup, he understood that the world was all about power. The world of humans, too, but especially the world of wolves. Strenght of the body, of the shadow, resilience, capability, what you were able to give and what you were able to take. All of this decided your position, your respect, your comfort, how others treated you and cared for you.

Being useful, being influential, all of that was power.

And Isaiah knew this and he knew he could achieve it. From his name to his shadow to his natural talent, if he worked his ass off, he was going to get it. He could use it in the right way now, to protect the people he cared about and help those with less of it.

It was a better way to use it than what Father taught him, but it was still all about power.

But right now, he had none.

Isaiah sat in the passenger's seat of his younger, volatile brother's car. The tightness in his chest was constant, like a weight crushing him, but it had been like that for a few days. Gradually worsening. He could handle it. The burning hot knife, however, that was stabbing him right into the heart in irregular intervals, was a different matter.

When the stab came, he gasped for breath and shut his eyes. When the knife twisted, the world disappeared and for that eternal crazy moment, he was aware of nothing but the white-hot pain that took all over his senses.

Slowly, he came back to himself, to Hector's voice calling his name, to his vision hazily coming back together.

The twisting slowed. His heart drummed against his ribcage painfully, but only aftershocks of the attack, wave, stab, whatever appropriate term he was supposed to call it.

Then the nausea came, like filling a water with glass. It started in his stomach, which always stopped whatever digestive process was going on whenever his chest got too heavy. Like the heart episode prevented it from working. He was bloated up like he ate a ton instead of a glass of champagne and a small piece of bread and churning like it was filled with water.

And the water level rose after the knife got itself out, rising and flooding his lungs and ribcage and shooting up his throat.

Isaiah clenched his jaw tightly together, gulping against the water shooting up. He was not going to throw up all over Hector's car. That was simply unacceptable.

Isaiah pressed his forehead against the coolness of the window, panting for breath as he fought down the water level. It went down, slow milliliter after another. The urge tempered off, but the nausea didn't. He still felt sick and the car's movement wasn't helping.

"Isaiah? Hey, talk to me. Your breathing is-"

Isaiah glanced Hector's way, feeling a mix of humiliation and confirmation of absolute failure. He had let him see him like this.

Hector knows, Hector knows, Hector knows.

The chanting was scary in its insistence, especially since there was no logical reason why Hector should know. The pain didn't exactly write a glowing heading 'this is what Father did to me during training' on the top of his head.

It also didn't make sense why Isaiah was so terrified of him knowing, but here they were.

"Can I do something?" Hector asked, voice wavering.

Isaiah sighed, scrunching his forehead, watching Hector. He expected to be thrown off the car any moment, with Hector seeing this...this weakness in him.

Wolves didn't get sick and pained like this. And if they did, they had their shadows. And if they didn't have their shadows, they didn't let it show on them and they didn't become helpesss.

Isaiah was the eldest, the heir, the executioner. Even when all else failed, he had taken the power, the teachings and the techniques and made himself useful. Became powerful and influential in his own right, helping others, using that authority, that control...

Without it, everything was falling apart. He was a worthless piece of space. There was a scale in his head, between powerful to useful, with neutral good for nothings somewhere in the middle.

At the other side of the spectrum? Burden.

That's what he was becoming, the longer he was sitting here, biting back groans of pain and waves of nausea, while waiting for another stab of the knife to twist his insides and let it all disappear in a blur of electric pain.

"Almost there. Hang on just a bit longer."

Isaiah let his head lol towards Hector, watching him. His eyesbrows furrowed in a line, met in the center of his forehead. Like a bird flying in the distance, the two meeting lines like wings. Fascinating.

Maybe he was a bit more off than he realized.

Hector made another turn and Isaiah recognized the street. They almost reached the parking lot by his apartment.

Ah. Matthew was going to be there, with a 'told you so'. Or maybe he wouldn't be there at all.

Since Matt found out, Isaiah expected him to leave any day. He caught himself checking every morning, if his things were still in the cupboard. Who would want a pack member with debilitating pain like Isaiah's? Not to mention a leader.

The knife hit at that thought, successfully distracting him with agony shooting from his struggling heart into his chest. That was the explosion of pain there, but it kept running up his tissue, veins and muscles up until his fingertips. Small electrical jolts of pain.

The car stopped. Isaiah's vision came back before his hearing that was filled with thudding of his bloodstream. Hector said something, the furrowed little bird on his forehead even clearer. Then he left his vision, the car shaking as he left it.

That's when the water rose, as Isaiah should have known, should have expected it by now. But the shock of Hector leaving and closing the car made him hesitate just long enough for the water to overflood him.

Isaiah managed only to jerk forward as the flood of vomiting rocked it out of his throat all over the floor and carpet. He gagned once more from the sensation, the nausea hitting its peak. Isaiah struggled against the seatbelt digging into him as he strained, more watery vomiting going thicker and slimier at the end.

The car door on his side opened. The whole thing couldn't have taken longer than the time Hector needed to circle the car from the outside. So close. And Isaiah still couldn't make it.

The failure had him gagging and choking on air over himself as Hector crouched down next to him, hurriedly opening the seatbelt to help Isaiah turn outside.

The cold night air hit his lungs, the shock making him gasp, but he could finally breathe.

He coughed and heaved emptily as Hector took him by both shoulders, letting Isaiah grab onto his in turn. "Okay. Shit. You are alright. Breathe."

Isaiah spat on the ground between them, sagging in Hector's hold, his hands letting go of Hector's shoulders. But Hector still held his, guiding Isaiah to lean his forehead against his chest.

"Sorry-" Isaiah choked out, "sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"That's what got you so freaked out? Jesus, man. I don't care about the damn car."

Isaiah let his hands hang limply by his sides, dead weight against Hector, halfway out of the passenger seat. But Hector was steady. Strong and way more muscular than the suit showed, hard-coiled muscles under the clothes.

"Seriously. I have had so many worse things happen in there. Blood and bloody vomit and weirdly looking weeping injuries...heck, maybe I shouldn't have a fancy car, when I wanna be driving wolves around. Get injured way too easy."

Isaiah didn't know if Hector was saying that just for his benefit, but he didn't have the energy to care, letting his eyes close shut to prepare himself for the next part. Just letting himself breathe was nice.

"Thanks. I can make it on my own from here," he tried.

Hector scoffed. "Right. I don't see any wings sprouting from your back though, so that would be a no. I'm coming with you."

Isaiah squeezed his eyes shut in discomfort. He didn't want Hector seeing him like this, but that didn't mean Matthew was any better. If he was still there. He was scared to find out.

"...Or we can just go home to my place. You don't have to stay here, when you clearly don't want to," Hector offered. "Arnie will be glad."

If Isaiah was torn before, the mention of Arnie settled things. He already let two out of his four most important people in the world find out. No way he was letting a third one in on it. "Staying..."

Hector huffed a frustrated breath. "Alright. Come here." He looped his arm around Isaiah, easily lifting him to his feet and closing the car.

Isaiah lost himself somewhere on the ride in another stab of the knife. They just entered the elevator and he stiffened in Hector's arms as it hit, hands curling up in weird directions. Hector held him tighter but the movement of the elevator going up had Isaiah's head spinning and floating away in sparkles of pain.

...

"-knew this, and you still let him go there? To a wolf meet in his condition? They would have torn him to little scraps! What kind of pathetic second lets something like that happen?"

"Excuse me?! You didn't even know. Some brother you are..."

Isaiah frowned. He was lying on something soft and familiar. The fluffy white pillows from the living room, piled up underneath him.

There was a growl sounding a lot like Hector before a fight. "How dare you-"

"What the fuck was I supposed to do? Glue him to the freaking chair? He is an adult and an experienced wolf, he knows what he is doing-"

"Knows what he is doing! That was the act of someone with a death wish-..."

There was a sudden silence, striking after the yelling.

"I-I don't think," Matthew stumbled over his words. "He doesn't want to...like...he just doesn't really care, you know? About...yeah."

Another growl from Hector, more pained than frustrated. Then angry stamping of feet. "I don't understand. What is this? What's happening?" His voice sounded more distant, muffled, like he covered his face with his hands. "It doesn't make any sense. This isn't him. He is the executioner, the best wolf, the most fearsome fighter...he doesn't...he didn't make friends and have students and meddle with packs and leave his family behind to do solo crap in the city with lost causes like you..."

"I don't think that's the point."

Hector snarled. "What? You meant to tell him you know- that he told you?!"

"No. I don't know what happened. But he is a martyr and he suffers for everyone. If you and Arnie struggled with something, like with his absence, then he took on way way worse."

"Are you telling me it doesn't matter why he lef-"

"I'm telling you it shouldn't. I don't know what happened and I don't fucking care. I believe in him. In the Isaiah he is now. And that Isaiah would never hurt anybody, never do something without a reason, never let anyone get hurt if he could help it..."

"This is a farce. A mask. This can't be the real one."

"What if that before was the mask? What if he wasn't that different than he is now? There must have been one hell of a reason. I can tell something was super fucked up about your family and I wasn't even there."

Isaiah decided he had allowed this long enough.

He wanted to protest, but instead of a coherent sound, all he managed was a groan.

Another death silence followed.

"Isaiah?" Matthew's voice sounded closer.

Isaiah opened his eyes into slits. His chest was still hurting, the room was spinning. It was hard to focus on one single point.

"Hey, man." Matthew came up by Isaiah's ear, sounding relieved and happy, like Isaiah managed a great feat by keeping his eyes open. "You blacked out for a second. How are you feeling?"

Isaiah's mouth twitched. "You guys are...yelling too much. Can't sleep."

Matthew cracked a smile at that. "Yeah, sorry about that. But your brother is an idiot."

"Hey! I'm right here!" Hector protested. Isaiah relaxed at hearing the feistiness return into Hector's voice. He didn't like the broken edge from before one bit.

Isaiah watched Matthew with wide eyes, studying him as much as the blurry sight would allow. It was making him nauseous to try, but Matthew didn't look angry. Was he seeing wrong?

"What is it?" Matthew leaned closer, noticing his intent gaze.

"Help me up?" Isaiah said feebly, cursing the weakness of his own voice.

"Sure thing." Matthew shuffled around to get on the sofa next to Isaiah before hoisting him up. The rapid change of elevation had Isaiah groaning and squeezing his eyes shut, before he settled against Matthew's side. His breathing was still fast but came easier again.

Isaiah sighed, comforted by Matthew's warmth and strength, the other worries quieting for a second.

"Let's get him out of those clothes." Hector suddenly sounded much closer too. "I'll find him something in the room, you help him with the shirt," Hector bossed, although he had never been to Isaiah's room before.

Matthew huffed, but bowed his head to work on Isaiah's button-up with quick fingers. Isaiah's eyes widened at the plan and its resolute realization.

Hector brought new clothes and then to Isaiah's horror, knelt down to work on unzipping Isaiah's shoes, partly covered in vomit.

Both of them worked silently, getting him into a loose jersey and sweatpants. It was much easier to breathe in those, even if the weight didn't go away.

Hector obviously decided that if no one told him what to do, he could make stuff up. The next time Isaiah blinked, he was shoving a glass of water uncomfortably close to his face. "Drink this."

"I don't know if-"

"Just drink it," Hector said in frustration. Isaiah was so surprised at being bossed around he let Hector hold the rim to his lips and took a couple of careful sips. The nausea wasn't as strong as before, but he was worried it would upset the fragile balance again.

"Any painkillers?" Hector looked at Matthew as if Isaiah wasn't in his right mind to tell him.

Matthew shook his head. "Nothing that works against it very well. Would have to be specific, but there was no diagnosis..."

Hector grunted something in acknowledgment.

"Anything else we can do?" Matthew said when Isaiah's face slid down from his shoulder to his chest.

"Not really," Isaiah mumbled. "Stay?"

Matthew leaned back against the sofa, arm loosely wrapped around Isaiah's back to hold him in place. "Where would I go?"

Isaiah nuzzled against him. "Hmmmm. Thought...you would be angry." He spasmed as a surprising stab came down on him. It was a smaller one this time though. They were dying down.

Matthew tensed up under him the same, grip tightening. "I'm too busy being worried right now."

Isaiah went limp as the spasm passed, fingers tingling with the aftershocks. He was too tired to even react with a decent wave of nausea. It flared up and settled down again.

Isaiah forced his eyes open one more time, looking for Hector.

His brother was cross-sitting on the floor, his back to them. He didn't glance up or look their way, but he leaned his temple lightly against Isaiah's leg, which was hanging all the way to the floor.

Isaiah's eyes weighed a ton. He actually felt sleepy, which never happened during the episodes. This was somehow relaxing.

He was totally helpless.

Somehow that didn't feel so scary today.

@bellysoupset