#ITS NOT HER TIMERE
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MORE WOMEN???/ MR UZUI U BETTER NOT BE CH ES ATINF ON EME
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Deranged about them❤️🔥
#spider-man#peter parker#mary jane watson#mj watson#petermj#art#my art#comic#comics#marvel#hes fallen for her devious trap of love#its the drama its the physicality#its the fact that theyve probably been kicked out of 50 restaurants for PDA#and not just for annoying that one recurring waiter#i think ive given myself a cavity just by drawing this#the longtimers know i dont draw ship art#and the reaallly long timers know its been like 7 years#and its always goddamn spiderman that menace
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i just find it really sweet but also find the contrast super funny that steven always has a smol cute pic of connie by his bedside, meanwhile connie has a big hecking poster of him (and lion <3)
#also ik i portrayed it comedically here#but as said i do find it equally sweet#the choice for steven to put a little picture of connie above his bed is oddly subtle#but shows how he cherishes her differently compared to the others#not that its more than others cuz steven loves everyone#with connie its just different and i love how its not in your face about it#same with connie's desk tho its a liiittle more obvious about who she really likes having around lol#from the oddly posed picture to the strawberry timer thing (jaaam budds)#both have other pictures that have them and their families included#but i find it really sweet that both of them keep a picture of eachother the closest to where they spend most of their quiet time#(at least in theory where they would spend most of their down time in)#For Steven the picture is right a top of where he rests#for Connie its where she does her study work#(the place where she spent 80% of her time offscreen in SUF supposedly but hey shes trying to cope with baggage its fine)#anyway messy rant over#Connie where the heck did you get that pic why is he posed like that#did vidalia make that or is it an actual picture#Also lion <3#connie maheswaran#steven universe#steven universe future#you could say this was supposed to be for V-day#buuuuut i fell asleep before i could finish lol#my art#connverse
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what if i lost the will to live like. as a joke. what then.
#i am fine ftr im just. exhausted haha#NOT to overshare about my personal life too much but my dog is dying. my horse is being given back to his og owner this summer / fall.#my dads kicking me out in two years (in favor of his girlfriend and her kids bc he would rather live w them!!!)#his alcoholism is driving me crazy bc hes treating me like absolute shit and berating me constantly#and stealing from me 🙃#ive lost my healthcare benefits + now have to either raw dog therapy out of pocket or loose my therapist#a therapist that took me a year of being on a waiting list to get in w btw#and idk i just genuinely feel like a loser rn like. im a 23 year old unemployed fat virgin who plays video games all day like. 🧍#where is this going for me. what is the point of it all. in two years im going to be fucking homeless on top of all that#unless some miracle happens bc as is i am too disabled to work.#im just reaching a point where i deeply dont care anymore. whatever happens happens im done fighting it#and ik its the abandonment issues talking here but knowing my dad is planning on abandoning me. 👍#thats two for two on parents leaving me. my entire family has at this point so like truly i cant trust any relationship#like if my PARENTS find me that unbearable. and my best friend who knew me my entire life thought so. then truly every relationship#i ever have is on a fucking timer like. idk if any besties r reading this im sorry i promise this is in no way a dig at yall#bc you guys do really make me feel loved and secure in a way no one else has but. id be lying if i said i wasnt still scared#anyways enough oversharing#i really am fine and safe rn btw like. at minimum u guys r stuck w me until arc*ne season 2 comes out 😂#my post
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this is getting ridiculous there's so much stuff i wanna draw i need to clone myself immediately
#what do you mean i can barely stand up??? no that was me an hour ago im completely fine now and also am capable of drawing 70 things rn#<- I WISH#genuinely just talking at myself here#okay!! plan time: homework is 7 pages +dialogue. i sketched the rough layouts out already and i my teacher gave me the okay to do it digita#i don't think she realized she gave me the okay tbh? but i asked her twice and she said yes so no takebacksies!!!#i have a timer that only does 55 minutes. in 55 minutes can i rough out at least 3 better pencils? ill find out!#i should start with the ending because that's 1 birds eye view like three times and a car that explodes and a bunch of close ups so ez pz#i just gotta figure out one car perspective im giving myself 55 minutes for the car#lineart is gonna be a pain but when isnt it :')#hey did you know there's an entire ship month prompt list??? im seething that's such a dumb idea i wanna do it so baaaaad#whatever#ill figure it out#that's part one of getting boring shit i need to do done!! part two should be easier bc its just hospitals and the draft is already p detai#ok ok ok i can do this#the essay is an essay and the essay is getting fucked i will do it at GUNPOINT#aaaaa#shut up maiora#p.s. edit: i did some of it and ended up doing a completely different plan. sigh sigh oh well im doing my best
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Thinking more about my isat au and I'm gonna need to change a LOT more than I thought. First things first, Siffrin's connection to the wish. Since in Of gems and pages, all the wishes stayed the same. So why is Odile the one looping and not Siff? So basically, what I think I'd do in my au is that the Universe decided to change things up a bit.
The first time the Universe granted Siffrin the means to fulfill their wish, things went horribly bad (just look at Loop). So this time, the Universe decided to give this new Siffrin, something a lil different. They still gave Siffrin the timeloop But made Odile his proxy. So that Siffrin may have helpers in this new timeline, with Loop as the guide and Odile helping as well, it Should go better, right??? And since the wish is connected with Siffrin's emotions, the Universe can't just completely make it Odile's problem now, sooo basically... Siffrin can still remember Parts of a previous loop PRIOR to their deaths.
That means during the beginning of canon when Siff was crushed by a boulder, he remembers that. And found Loop as well, but when he accidentally ended up touching a tear, he now Doesn't remember being crushed by a boulder but by being frozen in time. At the same time, he ALSO doesn't remember Anything else prior to it. So he doesn't remember that there's a boulder that can kill him by the entrance of the House, he doesn't remember Loop. All he remembers is that somehow, one way or another, he was frozen in time within the House and needs to be more careful with the tears. And because of the way that the loops affect Siffrin now is faaar too different than how it affected Loop, he can't go forwards or backwards in time. Siff will always awaken back in the meadow and Loop will always have to do their whole speech all over again (which would most likely annoy them immediately cuz why? Why is it so different now? Why can't this Siffrin REMEMBER?)
Odile on the other hand, remembers ALL the loops and finds a lot of discrepancies with Siffrin. It takes awhile for her to meet Loop and they get to talk to each other. Their meeting would be pretty... rocky at first. Loop still getting regarded as a stranger by Odile, Loop finding out that Odile is the one getting affected by the timeloop from their own selfish wish. Even if that Siffrin isn't them, it doesn't change the fact that they both made the same wish. Loop thinkin bout being such a favourite cosmic joke of the Universe that not only were they turned into This, one of their family members are suffering cuz of them. And she doesn't even recognize them. It'd be pretty hard at first too cuz Loop doesn't know that their appearance changed yet, there's no mirror. For Loop, they might still look like Siffrin, right? But Odile's reaction to seeing them says otherwise.
Anyway in this au, stage wise, Odile is the actor, Siffrin is the director, and the Universe is the audience. Book wise, Odile is the character, Siffrin is the writer, and the Universe is the reader. Why is Siffrin the director or the writer and not the Universe? That's because the timeloops are Still connected to his emotions, if something he didn't want to think about happens like, that argument with Bonbon (just as an example. I'm wondering if that'll still happen here considering that only happened because of Siff had memories of all the loops in canon. He doesn't have that in this au anymore), time would loop back still, so in a way, Siff Is writing how the timeloops go.
#aria rants#isat spoilers#isat au#of gems and pages au#ogap au#also why did the Universe choose odile? i like to think that the Universe finds her as being skilled enough to be able#to easily help fulfill that wish considering that she Was able to deduce the timeloop when given enough clues#at the same time. odile also seems to be both really close to siffrin (the fact that they go on secret quests before)#and far away from the party emotionally. odile doesnt regard anyone as ''friends'' and so convinces herself that theyre just colleagues#but deep down. she also knows how much she cares for everyone to the point of willing to do unspeakable things to anyone that#dares harm any of them. she cares so much but doesnt know the word to describe it. friends doesnt cut it. the idea of them#being like family to her hasnt crossed her mind yet when the only family she knows of and have is broken and incomplete (her mom left them)#so shes seems to be emotionally distant from them. she wanted to ask bout continuing traveling with the others but doesnt know How#the Universe sees that and thought that should there be anyone that can easily help siffrin then itd be odile. unfortunately#for the Universe. they didnt quite expect siff being too closed off and dodgy in regards to his own emotions#so it still end up being difficult. even more so now that odile doesnt have the Full picture at all. she has no idea why#this is happening to her in the first place. she only knows it has something to do with siff and during the sequence#before new loop+ happened. the Universe most likely gave odile that chance both out of pity and hope that everything#will finally turn out better This Time. but because of the fact that odile Was dying and she exhausted her craft powers#she cant be brought back to the previous loops easily anymore cuz even if its still connected siff. her ability to be#brought back to loops hinges on craft power as well. siff is just the switch to it. so in a way. shes Supposed to be dead now#but the Universe heard siff's wish and granted the means to save odile as well as grant the previous wish he made#its just that such a wish cant be without a penalty. and that penalty is the timer on odile's life. they have only 99 tries left
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I need to stop trying to make jokes apparently cause people can't seem to tell when I'm joking and think I'm serious and now people are mad :(
#made a joke about someone who was helping out at our store applying here#and idk if i came across too serious or she just genuinely likes it here better than her store#but now that store maanger is mad cause she thinks we're trying to steal her workers#were not#but even if we did its be helping her out cause shes wsy overstaffed rn amd cant give full timers enough hours#but like#i wasnt being serious in the first place were not even hiring rn#and now im overthinking and anxious even tho its really not a big deal#bleh
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doing things outside of your usual is such a humbling experience...
#lizzy speaks#to those who are curious what prompted this: my friend and i are collaborating on a video essay together#we picked it back up a week and a half ago after it laid in limbo for a month or two#and we're currently in the phase of editing it together (scripting + recording the VO is done)#and MAN. my respect for people who work on scripted/informative content just shot up through the ROOF#most of my experience with editing comes from footage first and then edit down approach (rather than creating/gathering visuals to uplift-#a written script) and it's. well. they engage with very different skillsets i think#my friend who i am collaborating with is very amused at me because this is not her first rodeo. meanwhile me as a first-timer.#i am telling her about how i am losing my mind over my editing timeline having gaps of footage because i couldn't think of anything to put#for certain portions (or i just didnt feel like looking through preexisting footage on the internet and dl-ing it)#and she compared it to 'telling a kid whos going thru puberty that its normal' EKLHFGLHH#im ngl the way i have spent like maybe 10 hours today off and on looking up footage and fact checking the splat artbook is so. explodes#it makes sifting through an 11 hour batch of footage of me playing big run sound like a cakewalk in comparison LMAOO#anyway if you read this far thank you :D i hope that in 2024 i can continue to be humbled in trying new things#and i highly encourage others 2 do so too! try a new method of approaching something or do smthn slightly adjacent to what you do!#tis a good learning experience and also makes u very appreciative of the things that are out there methinks#im literally only editing an 11 minute segment or so idfk how people make those 1+ hr video essays LIKE HELLO??? ESP IF ITS LICENSED MEDIA#HOW DO U GET ALL THE FOOTAGE FOR THAT. U MUST BE REALLY HYPERFIXATED AND DEDICATED TO THAT. DAMN. anyway. have a good 2023 everyone!
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Yall,,,,,,,,,, im modding my pc copy of p4g to hell and back bc ive finished the game 3 times and homies,,,,,, some of the comments on these mods are sending me.
(On the gay romance mod) "this mod is incredibly creepy, this chara is a minor and we shouldnt be modding in dating options for them. Probably best to report this"
Bruh. One its cut content still in the game files, and just made active again. Two look me in the eyes and tell me word for word what the canon lovers romance flag is. Tell me exactly how the 16yr old protag starts dating rise. Ill wait.
#im just gonna send this out into thw wild without tags and hope no one cancels me#to any of my followers who care#its been a while since i played so i dont remember exactly why shes bawling#i think bc she decided she did wanna go back to showbiz but her movie role was replaced by a competitor#anywho she is sobbing buckets#and the protag can either hug her or stand there like a fucking clown and let her cry publically at the steak skewer place#i didnt realize thats the romance flag so i went#my protag isnt going to be an asshole so im going to comfort her and give her a hug#and then the romance flag pinged#note i was trying for yukiko or chie at the time but that cancelled that#my boy is not a two timer#but yeah our bestie that we fished out of the garbage telling us that were special to him and that he wants to hold our hand CANNOT#be worse than that#maybe after i mod all this ill finish my aa playthrough#my switch copy is just sitting there and i feel bad since a few of my mutuals love it and i feel like it too could take over my head hole#but souyo has owned my entire ass for the past 4 years so alas im gonna put another 200hrs into a 60hr game
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All I got from my nan's today is that you shouldn't let me in a book shop as someone whose town lost their only book shop.
#me initally: 'just go into one and be done-'#me first five minutes into leaving the pub on a timer as i had to be back in time for the food: 'ooh the other book shop-'#as its a cafe/book place#so got legend of zelda manga there with some other stuff i spotted#and then uh on way to second book shop i saw a toothless plushie in a charity shop window and for £2.99 i had to get him#and then finally in second book shop i almost grabbed a fnaf book with two books on the half price deal#but uh ended up putting fnaf book back when i saw a third half price book i liked the looks of#and got to till and uh got told i could get a fourth one cause of the deal#so somehow left my nans today with five books and some small stuff and a toothless plushie#in terms of my nans? ehhhh she liked my hair at least#says i look better with short hair#and i aint gonna argue as its easier to manage with my thick hair#plus found out shes been watching transformers so guess both mood there#though only con is her acting like we have to get rid of some of our cats and parents lying to her they will#when in reality i had to go outside and tell dad i will go half-way with getting three netured and chipped#as all our cats are outdoor cats#but my mental health wasnt drained so guess thats a pro#only time it did get drained was when our trains all cancelled on us cause of industral action and mom got upset and stuff#uncle took us down and back home tho so
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i adore this scene dearly they are so doomed
#talk#smth smth whenever i get to this arc i just enjoy how their characters have changed from when they were little to know WHILE still#maintaining their core traits and fears. like sapphire is a lot more comfortable expressing herself as of ruby#accepting his whole deals with battles and having a more straightforward way of thinking#HOWEVER. their core flaws are also just as present. well in this case its ruby.#he LITERALLY stretches his hand out for her he's literally doing whatever he thinks is best for sapphire which is by not opening up#and hiding the whole situation from her which is. so bad. he's 15 running under a timer#and of course he wants to protect those he loves and wants to do more! but in turn.#he loses her trust. outright kind of confirming what she rlly hates the most. leaving her behind. leaving her out of ideas.#sapphire has a whole plethora of issues as well they're just not as focused on. she literally loses her voice. cause she feels like she's#not trusted to be competent in this situation. whether or not she knows that ruby does it out of genuine care is a bit out there.#and being perceived as weak and not enough rlly. drives home again. that damned salamence incident. guh.#ok thats all i have in the brain#im such a big fan of these two and their cycle of doom until they both get like. three layers of therapy.#coughs blood pokespe oras arc you are awfully rushed but u do have some rlly neat points
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i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already
#help i came home and they got so ballistic that i didnt say hi to them#after my 9 months of driving myself home and entering the house from work not once have they urged a greeting out of me#why the hell do they care now???#like mom got so mad and i was like um ok * goes back to watching danny gonzalez * then i get shouted at to come to parents room#and im like siiiighhh let me put on my jacket i know this will be a while#and im just getting yelled at and standing there like. is the song and dance over yet. can i get back to my computer#and my dad is like your MOM and I DONT TREAT YOU GUYS LIKE THAT#and im just in my head like.....you give us greetings rather than treating us like human beings.....ok....i would prefer the respect rather#than the greetings....#and my dads like whenever I come home I always greet everyone#and its like. yeah ? i can think of a few times where you havent but it doesnt matter when its you right#oh you can come home and greet everyone yeah but can you treat us with respect? are you capable of not having everyone groan when they hear#your car horn that indicates you're home? do you have the ability to not make everyone hide and vacate to their rooms when they hear your#key unlocking the door? no? then i dont care about the fact you can say hi to everyone#and mom is like lecturing me and my sister about not cleaning as well and its like hi what about your husband#hi maybe you should question why we cant clean our rooms#maybe its the fact you never taught us how to organize or how often to clean? did you know you've never taught us how to properly clean?#did you know i cant clean without a timer? are you aware that your eldest daughter that gives you attitude and promised to be mean when#she's taking care of you in your last years of life doesnt clean whatsoever? the 26 year old that acts just like your husband? the one whos#only chore is to wash dishes and doesnt even do that? she complains shes too tired because of work but even on her off days she doesnt do i#? do you remember that she only does the dishes when she's going out with a boy? do you remember the 3 months where i took it upon myself t#do everyones chores because i had the time? the way you dont acknowledge i helped out a lot during that time and helped keep peace through#the house by doing that? you dont because you love to focus on the negatives and as a result you make your own life miserable#and everyone else's?especially mine because im the one who actually feels guilt? but dont do it bc im tired of doing someone else's work?
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i fucking jate my mom
#gurgles#she touches my food when its cooking and decides whether its ready or not DESPITE I ALWAYS HAVE A TIMER#and when i get uoset at her over it bc itmeans i dint know how close to being done it is#and have to throw it out#she acts like im being whiny
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the wesley and illyria interactions are actually sooo good. tbh its the autism <3
#astro watches#angel#i miss fred and her autism <3 but luckily they have replaced her with another weird autistic girl in her body#dude wesley has some o fthe best dynamics. him and lilah was soo !! and ofc him and fred is my shit#and him and gunn can be so interesting when the shwo lets them !!!!#and they had some rly good scene with him adn faith when she was aroudn on this show#and now him and this illyria person.#who i cannot figure out teh deal with but im very qickly becoming obsessed with her#i thought eve was gonna be the new character i would care abt this season.. but its the old timer in freds body ??? hmm hell yeah tbh
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That shift was straight up abusive i hope this restaurant burns down 🫵🫶
#Never more have i wanted to commit homicide with banana pudding#like its never gonna be THAT DEEP ur paying us by the hour dawg calm down#‘it’s unprofessional’ IS yelling at a 15 yr old part timer professional 😭😭😭 leaver her aloneee shes just a child bruh#Istg#but ive slept it off and im feeling the rain on my skin and the birds chirping now
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roommate got a new laptop but can't get her wifi connected from the kitchen so she's taken it back to her room to set up..... huge loss for annoying nosy ppl everywhere :-(
#glad shes back but also miss being home alone a little bc theres so much i dont have to think abt when its just me#no one tell her i said that.. pros of having roommates outweigh cons by far but still. love to not be reminded of all my insecurities#not that its her fault!! im also just grumpy cuz i slept pretty badly and ended up getting up earlier than i wanted to#bc she wakes up Early + makes a lot of noise but again not her fault im a sensitive sleeper n i was drifting in n out before then anyway#blegh. well i should get my chores done i guess so at least i dont have to do that tomorrow#i think i need to lie down and cry a bit first idk why im feeling so upset this morning its not related to anything i dont think#just strung out i guess. whatever man. ill set a timer so i dont wallow too long i have a list of shit to focus on after anyway#.diaries#actually just remembering i had some kind of upsetting dreams too i woke up crying a few times i dont really know what happened in them#so maybe its just a knock on from that. man.
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