#YOU STAY AWAY FELM HER

[kurooandkenmasslut]

MORE WOMEN???/ MR UZUI U BETTER NOT BE CH ES ATINF ON EME

[mnovenia]

PROGRESS..PROGRESS.. (H-20)

I woke up this morning and checked what date is it today? 10 June 2017, shoot, I have 20days before the financial guarantee is due. Sounds bad, isn’t it? Kayaknya harus siapin hati kalo harus say goodbye sama Netherlands, just in case..

But that’s not the case for my God. Now playing on my Spotify: Dia Buka Jalan, Tiada Yang Sukar, Tangan Tuhan, Pertolonganmu, Tiada Yang Mustahil, Selalu Ada Jalan, God Will Make a Way, and so on. Di saat desperate kayak gini, cuma Tuhan yang bisa santai-santai because He can do anything with His power. Mungkin Tuhan liat aku sekarang sambil bilang: Slowly aja sis.. This is my job to straighthen the crooked path.. 

Dari kemaren saking desperatenya I finally told my eldest cousin, my uncle, and some relatives. Of course they are all excited and support me to go. But that doesn’t make my financial problem solved. Lagian kok rasanya impossible banget di jaman susah begini ada orang random kasih pinjeman ratusan juta. Akhirnya solusi terakhir, google: Kredit tanpa anggunan, student loan. Hasilnya: ngeri, baru liat cicilan per bulan udah bikin kepala geleng-geleng. Ok then, another door closed. I closed my laptop after spending few hours at office puter otak how to get huge amount of money instantly, HAHA, so funny how I finally have to do something that I hate: being money oriented, shows materialism. Sorry girl, but I have no choice, at some point in your life, it requires that tricky stuff called money. Duh

On the way home I was thinking: what if I sell my house instead of the car? Because selling car won’t make enough money and malah bikin sakit hati karena harga yang ditawar bapak bapak dealer sekalian. Nyesek. So I talked to my brother, about my (God) strategy and how it could actually change my, my bro’s and my dad’s lives. He agreed, gave me permission, so I told Mayang at that night. Selling house is not an easy decision, of course I love this house, it bring such joy and comfort over the past two years. But I can’t stay this way, it is comfortable, but I need to pursue something bigger. Dalem hati, aku cuma bilang, buat kebaikan keluargaku, buat masa depan yang lebih baik buat Papa dan Pram, dan Tuhan udah bukain jalan. Question: would you dare to take this risk? What if I fall and crushed later in the Netherlands, but what if I fly? Who can guarantee what might happen in the next few months, but hasn’t God go before me? Should I be shaken to walk through God-given path?

So this morning I started my mission to share about the news wishing that somebody would buy my house and happen to give me solution. Marshella, the clock is ticking #krikrikrik

I shared the news with Tante Da (my mom’s oldest sister, my closest Aunt), she called me right away, she said: “Selamat Shella, luar biasa kamu. Kamu anak baik ya, rasanya Tante pengen Manda (my cousin) bisa juga, tapi jalannya lain, dia punya responsibility sendiri sekarang sebagai Ibu. Tante kebayang mama kamu Shell, setiap buka kulkas, setiap pegang HP rasanya kangen dapet BBM ocehan dari mamamu. Dia pasti senang Shell kalau dengar ini.” Gak kerasa kita berdua nangis termehek-mehek. 

Shella doain ya, Tante pengen banget bantu Shella, kalo aja tante punya uang, kalo ini tetangga mau barang kasih uang DP buat beli rumah Tante. Tante bilang Om Hap, kon bantu lah itu Shella, etc, walau gak berhasil mencari solusi, paling engga aku lega, udah bisa share sama keluarga dan sodara-sodara. Doain aja ya Tante dan Om, I’ll fight for our family :)

Usaha terus sis, perjuangan belum selesai.. So I sent more pictures to Raymond, Eteng, Will Bill, Kara, Tante Pin, Ester, Tansi, etc.. May Yee also found about me selling my house, so she shared with connect group. Finally I shared to everyone. Raymond, long lost coworker who happen to be my hero by exchanging my coldplay tickets back in April text me and said: lu mau kemana shel? Kok kaya di felm-felm.. Abis diceritain, he said: coba itu deposit di bank Indo, mungkin gw bisa bantu. I was like, mond, jangan geila, ya ngga mungkin juga gw minta elu talangin duit segitu banyak. Tapi intinya, bersyukur banget deh Tuhan kirim orang-orang sebaik ini. 

Berbuahlah usaha pagi ini, 2 orang yang contact nya belum ada di list HP pun mulai bermunculan.. Ada Karmila (HMCC covenant member) and Dianita (temennya Kara), they seemed excited and so did I. Long short story Mila telepon dan suami nya tanya-tanya tentang surat rumah, listrik, air, dll.. Then tiba-tiba mereka ngabarin kalo mereka otw ke rumah.. I was like excited, shocked, tapi juga looking forward to show my house to them.. 

In the meantime Mama nya Maureen telp: “Marshella, temen tante bilang Sabtu pagi minggu depan mau liat rumah ya, tolong dibantu, tapi belum tentu jadi ya.. Biar dia liat dulu” I was like, thank you Tante.. Of course boleh.. 

I went to Indomaret, beli pulsa listrik dan cemilan. Gak lama suami Mila telp tanya jalan masuk ke Diponegoro, I was like: man, they’re close nih, what should I do what should I do. Masuk kamar, nyalain Spotify, berlutut jual dengkul ke Tuhan, cuma bisa doa: Tuhan tolong Tuhan tolong, ini kynya jalan terakhir ku.. the song played at the back ground: ‘God will make a way’ by Evelina Gard (my theme song of the months).

Lift up your head, Be encouraged God will always make a way.

Everytime, you feel discouraged Put your trust in Him alone Whatever the problem, He can solve it Whatever the need, He will supply Lift up your head, God will always make a way

Once again, lonely and confused Once again, a valley to get through Seems like every time it feels alright, another trial comes For every opened door, another’s closed And you feel like giving up

Eventhough you have lost your strength You should know broken wings can mend Remember He will never put you through More than you can bear And when you feel your prayer takes you no where He’s promised to be there

Rasanya pengen nangis, tapi aku tahu, Holy Spirit is with me, I feel encouraged, hopeful, dan datenglah Mila dan Andy. They are so nice, warm, lovely, and right away we can feel ‘click’. We talked about everything, from the house itself, Eteng’s business, each own stories and so on. They listened carefully to my story. They’re very very genuine, I said to them: kenapa kalian bisa interested gini sih? Aku gak enak malah kaya jadi curcol. Mila malah hampir nangis waktu aku cerita. Dan lucunya mereka malah balik kasih nasehat: Shell, kamu harus fight buat cita-citamu, kamu harus mulai biasain adek mu bertanggung jawab juga, kamu harus belajar punya limit kalo ga bisa semua kamu penuhin, nanti kamu akan rasain kalo kamu udah berkeluarga, hal-hal itu bisa jagi masalah loh buat cowo mu. Dan inget pesen mama kamu: bergaul lah dengan orang yang benar, community yang tepat. Dan terakhir, suami Mila pesan, jangan jatuh ke tangan laki-laki yang salah, gw cuma berharap lu belajar dari laki-laki yang Tuhan kasih di keluarga lu, dan jangan lakuin hal yang sama, karena perempuan tuh paling gampang buyar kalo udah masalah cinta. 

Ga kerasa udah 2 jam lebih kita ngobrol, aku bilang, “Mil aku gatau siapa yang bawa kamu dan Andi ke rumahku hari ini, tapi lewat kalian, udah clear banget buat aku kalo God is at work. Ngimpi apa aku nawarin jual rumah malah dapet belajar dari kalian.” Sampe akhirnya mereka pamit karena kelaperan, hahaa sorry guys. 

Makasih ya Mila dan Andi, biar nanti rumah ini jadi milik kalian atau engga, tapi aku udah bahagia banget bisa ketemu kalian. Aku akan berdoa juga buat kalian dan your daughter. Tuhan berkati kalian selalu ya.

Dari kejadian ini aku cuma senyum, Terima kasih Tuhan Yesus, even kalo cuma Tuhan yang sayang dan peduli sama aku, itu aja udah cukup :)

Aku juga kelaperan, akhirnya beli sate ke depan, dan pulang-pulang ada miscall “PETER HONG” and message: ‘Can you give me a WA call? I want to talk to you about your financial guarantee.’ So I called him right away, in the background of course I heard May Yee’s voice. In my heart I said: you guyssss, aren’t you guys too good to be true? How come parents of four with their own headache still willing to make sure and care about me? So we talked about the uni procedure, speaking of which Peter also taking care of his daughter’s undergrad admission. He said: can you send their emails to me so I can help you to make sure. 

Dalem hati aku cuma bilang: Tuhan, kok bisa ya ada orang kaya May Yee and Peter? Segitu sayang nya kah Tuhan sama aku, sampe mereka bisa segitu care nya? Di saat papa kandung ku sendiri cuma bilang: terserah, nanti kamu tinggalin aja papa uang ………. x 24 bulan. Rasanya terbayar sudah semua sakit hati terhadap my dad, God is right, He heals the broken hearted. 

Belum selesai amazed dan mo ngomong sama Tuhan, henphone nyala: Stephanie Ng send you message on facebook messanger.. (copy paste) ‘Hi.  My friend is interested to view your house.  Is it ok on this Monday or Tuesday morning? If Monday, I can join her. Tuesday I will fly back to Malaysia. May Yee helped to post in our common group. Then I help to arrange since I’m still around. May Yee also want to view your houseIt looks nice and comfy. Not planning to rent?  U have friend helping u out there? Steven’s ex colleague just moved to Netherlands form JKT. Malaysian. And cousins sister married and staying there. If u need some contact, let us know. And I’ve a cousin sister. After you graduate, better you plan family there.” HAHAHA thanks Steph, you’re so funny. 

Belum lagi selesai impressed, Raymond message: sel, nomor lu gw kasih ke temen gw ya, dia kerja di APL, ntar lu deal-deal an langsung sama dia aja ya.

Well Tuhan, hari ini penuh mukjizat ya.. aku gak tau lagi, sungguh-sungguh gak ngerti sama jalan Tuhan yang way higher than mine. Aku tau Tuhan, beberapa hari depan mungkin ga bakal mudah buat aku, rasanya semua serba gak pasti. Kaya tadi Peter bilang: what’s your back up plan? Aku cuma bisa senyum, ga bisa jawab. Aku mungkin ga punya back up plan, tapi aku punya Tuhan, dan aku percaya kalo tiada yang terlalu sukar bagi-Mu. Dan aku cuma berserah, aku yakin pertolongan Tuhan akan segera datang. Terima kasih ya Tuhan sekali lagi, Tuhan terlalu baik.