#IT'S VERY CHARMING and has a surprising amount of mechanics?

[lyriumheart]

bc of donos i had some of my own savings left over, so i got palaeo pines as a little treat

[slowlyoats]

The Lost Boys: What is their role within the group?

Marko

- The crazy

- I think out of all the boys Marko is closest with his vampire nature

- He puts the least amount of effort into trying to blend in

- And why should he?

- He’s an old, powerful being, who has seen a lot of life. He’s more authentic then any human on the board walk

- He gives the group that feeling of being unhinged, of being one step away from complete anarchy

- To the public he is a warning of how dangerous the boys are

- Everyone has heard about what this boy can and will do to his victims

- But I think to the group, they see him as a reminder of their true nature

- Vampires at heart exist outside of society, they are the strangers that everyone fears. They are chaos and beauty.

- So, whenever the boys get a tad too *horrified gasp* domestic. Marko is right there to remind them of what they are

- Chaotic, bloodthirsty, unpredictable vampires

Paul

- Life

- Paul reminds the boys that though they may be dead, there is still so much life to live

- He’s the one that is up way past sunrise singing a song he just can’t get out of his head in the most acoustic part of the cave

- He’s the one talking to the travelers on the Board walk about their adventures abroad, and what they’ve seen and done (I have a feeling that though he may be older, he hasn’t traveled outside the United States much)

- Paul is the one challenging some of the boys more outdated/old fashioned opinions

- I believe he is definitely the youngest out of all the boys, so his views are more modern

- Whenever there is a new ride on the Boardwalk he HAS TO ride it. Or a new snack or arcade game! basically whatever is NEW he must see and experience!

- He’s teaching himself how to play the guitar, and he’s not that good at it but he doesn’t stop practicing despite David’s complaints

- Paul reminds the boys that there is more to their existence then drinking blood and hunting

- He is the life of the group

Dwayne

- the handyman

- I think he would be the one responsible for fixing the bikes. He wouldn’t be responsible for like the general maintenance on all four bikes, but when Marko takes the Boardwalk stairs a tad too quick, and snaps a part of his bike, Dwayne fixes it

- Over the years he has gained a lot of experience on how to fix the bikes and stuff around the cave

- This is mainly due to living with the destructive duo that is Marko and Paul

- He generally really does like to fix things, it gives him a sense of purpose within the group

- He’s usually the muscle of the group (and he doesn’t have any complaints with this because it pats his ego) but he does like being able to tangibly provide something to his brothers

- Usually he will fix up the bikes without being asked, or trick one out as a surprise for one of his brothers

- He’s friends with the owner of a local mechanic shop, and trades work for parts on occasion

- thankfully the owner doesn’t ask many questions when he has to bring a bike in for fixing, and it’s got a few splatters of blood here and there

David

- The procurer

- David is the one constantly on the look out for the groups next meal

- Even if it looks like he is relaxing, smoking a cigarette while leaning against a board walk railing, taking in the lively scenery. He’s not. He scouting.

- They need to feed every few days at the very least, and it’s not every night they can find a bite to eat

- They don’t feed from shop owners, and they do it sparingly from the locals to not draw to much suspicion

- When David spots someone that he thinks would be a tasty meal, he spends a while observing them. And then determines which of his boys would be the best to draw the human in

- Do they look preppy and girly? Paul would be able to pull them with his rocker look and charm

- Are they stand off-ish and a little wild? Gremlin energy would be the way to go, and with Marko’s big eyes, who could resist?

- A shy beauty? Being ignored by her obnoxious friends? Oh yes, Dwayne will be able to get them stuttering and bashful with one look

- It’s almost too easy at times, but David doesn’t mind, because once off season hits the Boardwalk, hunting gets a lot, lot harder

[mercymermaid]

human ax headcanons!! (feat. human bill as well)

1- ax is perfectly happy with letting mabel use them as a personal makeover doll, allowing her to paint their nails in colors so bright human eyes can't comprehend and use their face to try out every color of eyeshadow her new palette has. their hair has endured countless styling, and they've proudly donned the handmade dresses mabel would make during her sleepovers with grenda and candy. they vocally express their appreciation for her actions anytime she gets self-conscious about a project, and even make the first move to ask her about her latest ideas. they even get bill in on the fun as well, and though he throws a hissy fit whenever mabel brings in the sparkly hair gel, he secretly adores the attention even more than the axolotl.

2- bill has a severe coffee addiction, via ford once giving him a cup as a last resort. ax drinks exclusively tea, and while they claim that they do so for health reasons, deep down they know that if they ever got their hands on coffee, they'd be just as obsessed as bill, and when you're a god half of reality prays to, you need to keep up appearances.

3- while bill is a human-human, with maybe some triangle and dream demon still deep inside him, accessible only through really dramatic and plot-convenient circumstances, ax is still very much a god, just shaped into a human form. unfortunately, since such an entity cannot be smushed into such a fragile form, a lot of ax's perks (such as impenetrability and immortality) don't quite make it into the body with ax themselves. they still have full access to their powers, limited only by their state of mind, which is unfortunately also affected by their 'mortal' form. this means the axolotl is now more or less prone to injury and illness, surprising for such a powerful entity.

4- ax doesn't really need glasses, they just think they're charming.

5- sometimes ax tries to subconsciously float because they're not used to gravity actually affecting them, and then realize with a shock of embarrassment that unless they actually try, the stupid mortal body limitations prevent them from doing so. bill does this as well, but while the ax can still float on command, he cannot, and this pisses him off to no end.

6- the first time mabel made ax a sweater, they nearly cried; they're used to receiving gifts out of blind, selfish worship, and having someone give them a gift simply for being themselves is a novel experience. they blamed the tears on human body allergies. they now proudly wear mabel's twenty-million friendship bracelets, without fail.

7- ax loves deep philosophical discussion, and embrace dipper's endless questioning with open arms, excited to share their infinite wisdom.

8- ford and dipper are the last to figure out ax's real identity.

9- speaking in rhymes is the ax's way of getting a point across, such as trying to tell bill that his actions have consequences, but with the amount of prophecies they've had to give, speaking in rhymes is now a subconscious self-soothing mechanism.

bonus (not exclusive to human ax):

the axolotl's tail fin is normally a gorgeous sky blue, sometimes able to change colors to paint galaxies across night skies, but a little-known fact is that the tail fin is actually a tell-all mood ring for the ax. in theory, it's supposed to change colors based on what they're feeling; classic yellow for happy, red for angry, etc. however, the axolotl was always one to repress emotions, too afraid of what their anger (or, god forbid, joy) could unintentionally cause due to their immense power (loosely inspired by this post). after an eternity of purposefully staying calm, the axolotl's tail fin has adopted a permanent shade of relaxed blue, and no one is any the wiser. however, that doesn't mean it can't change color at all. in rare situations, the hue will change - it'll turn a more greenish teal when the ax is happier (yellow), a more purple shade when frustrated (red, quite rare), or a more indigo/dark blue shade when upset (blue). these changes are minuscule and imperceptible to most, but some that they have close relationships with (i.e. bill) can sniff these changes out. this color-changing rule also applies to the human ax's blue hair tips!

[gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan]

Blend In With The Rest

Author’s note: Torglite in Husbandry. It's his debut! Thanks to @sleepyfan-blog for letting me borrow Darsas and Cedric.

Summary: A Death Guard Tech Priest- a Grand Son of Nurgle lands on Ancient Terra and meets some old faces- familiar and usually friendly ones.

Warnings: None? Let me know if I need to add anything.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Tagged: @felinisnoctis

Torglite had been spreading the joy of Grandfather Nurgle to one of the Corpse Worshipper's Forge Worlds. He had stepped from one part of the alleyway and blinks as he steps forth into sudden dark-light-shadow-cold-heat-everything-nothing.

He stops moving, closing his eyes firmly, before opening his eyes- his mechadendrites moving moving and tasting-seeing-assessing while his mind processes the information.

The amount of natural air- and severe lack of pollutants, still some, but not as much as had been on The Forge World that he'd just been on. He was on a world of much life- of a natural form.

How utterly fascinating he hadn't felt the touch of The Grandfather or his Greater Demons to have him Moved from the Forge World to wherever this lovely planet of green life is.

The storm is ever shifting and changing. So long has he been cast a drift in, so to land somewhere new isn't too surprising, even if he'd been Elsewhere just before.

He murmurs the hymns and prayers and is delighted when he listens in on the Astartes chatter- and is quite surprised to hear such a diverse blend of voices, chapters, and factions of Imperialist Dogs to Chaos Remade and those in between.

Still- one of the voices, two of them actually, are ones that he recognizes, so he trots of in the direction of Hura and Darsas's locations, which are happily in the same direction and they are nearby.

He sends Hura a ping [Hura- what a fascinating place for the storm to drop us in. Greetings brother.]

[Torglite! I'm glad to hear your dulcet voice again.] Hura responds in delight. [I'm with Darsas- and come- there are some people I want you meet. A growly baby- he's someone I'm... wanting as an apprentice.]

[A new apprentice?] Torglite says with delight. [Which Chapter is the young one of?]

[Black Templar, currently, he's still a Loyalist, but I see... potential in young Cedric to be much greater than he is.] Hura sends over vox text.

[... Black Templar?] Torglite responds surprised. [Ambitious of you, take care with that path of Fire brother.]

[I am.] Hura responds with a huff.

[My ETA is five minutes.] Torglite warns Hura.

[Thank you for the warning.] Hura says, [Cedric growls at Chaos aligned marines. It's adorable.]

[Thanks for letting me know.] Torglite says as he shakes his head a little. Hura's always enjoyed very challenging Apprentices.

"Cedric," Hura says to the younger Apothecary, "One of my brothers has newly arrived and is headed this way. He's... Chaos aligned and a tech priest."

"... What?" Cedric says looking and sounding a little concerned.

"Torglite's a wonderful brother," Hura says gently patting one of Cedric's hands, "Very good with younger cousins and brothers."

"Okay... if you say so Hura," Cedric says staring at Hura with big blue eyes.

Hura keeps his body language calm, but neutral. Cute. Cedric can be so adorable and charming in his reactions to things. When he's not being an entertaining terror.

Torglite comes in, his mechadendrites, a mix of mechanical and flesh-like metallic-esque ropes as he nods his greets to his brothers and the rather large Scout-aged Apothecary in black and white.

"Greetings," Torglite says. "To the one in the room who doesn't know, I go by Torglite."

"... Hello sir," Cedric says staring at him with big Dorn-ian blue eyes peer up at him.

"It's nice to meet you, young one." Torglite says. Ah- Scouts. So cute. So sweet. Yet to face all the horrors of the galaxy. He can see why Hura is fond of this one.

"Are you in need of medical assistance?" Cedric asks.

"Not at the moment," Torglite says, "although, some of the chatter I have been hearing over the vox-channels makes no sense."

Hura launches into the explanation that they give to all newly arrived about everything. As well as give him the intake paperwork to fill out and a, "I will still need to check you over just in case, for protocol's sake."

"Very well," Torglite says with a sigh as he takes the wood pressed board and the shocking indulgence of wood-paper and writes his answers to the questions to the best of his abilities.

[his-red-right-hand]

What do you think Danny’s childhood was like/took place at? I personally head cannon him as being from PA due to the hunting culture and he seems to gravitate more east coast. It would make sense if his mom was dead/disappeared, but somehow we was able to go through the education system normally.

*slaps Danny on the back* This asshole can fit so much childhood trauma in it. *is visciously stabbed to death*

Moving on, we know that Danny has at least spent some time in Utah as that's where his driving licence is registered. Being a Brit I don't know a huge amount about the individual states beyond stereotypes, but given Danny's utter hatred of "regular everyday folks", Utah makes sense. Being surrounded by that many Mormons will drive anyone to murder.

Our boy has an antisocial personality type, which by itself does not make a murderer. The other two components are Male and Child Abuse.¤ And Danny was raised by a Vietnam War vet with a Mother who was either entirely absent for some reason; or was there but had so little impact or involvement with his life that she is basically a nonentity to him.

We know his father wanted him to join the military, raised him to succeed in it. I already have my issues with military training for adults, but as a way to raise a child? The only surprise we should have in regards to Danny murdering his fagher is that it didn't happen sooner.

I imagine that his father's inability to let go of the military was some sort of attempt at a coping mechanism against PTSD, probably combined with a fair amount of self medication.

I'm certain there would have been hunting trips/"wilderness training" from a young age. How old do you think he was when he made his first kill?

Danny at school, I imagine, would be a loner. He lacked the emotional grounding to be able to make friends, and we know he has explosive temper issues. I can see this turning into a sort of bad boy appeal as he grew older and learnt to charm and manipulate people around him. And like most narcissists, he can be very charming and likeable. If he wants something from you.

Tl;dr: Danny was physically and emotionally abused by his veteran father, who thought it was more important to teach his son to be a Warrior and a "Man" over how not to murder people for drawing a dumb comic making fun of his murdersona.

¤ We don't have enough cases of Female Antisocial Personalities being caught doing crime to do an analysis on them, which either means they do it less or they're good enough to not get caught.

[obiwanobi]

I was wondering if you had any more always a Sith Anakin goodness 👀 you know, for the prosperity of the universe ✨

I do actually! This has been forgotten in my drafts for months, but here's a short scene (600 words) of Obi-Wan seeing Vaderkin's face for the very first time!

The first time Obi-Wan sees Vader without his helmet is disconcerting.

But, oddly, not in the way Obi-Wan would have thought. Later, he would actually call it an exquisite surprise, perhaps the best one Vader ever sprang on him.

The suit is familiar, and he does recognise the red lightsaber in his mechanical hand. The way Vader moves is still brutal but efficient. But now, instead of a black mask and a silent and imposing presence some of his troops have nightmares about, stands a young man pouting. His curls are stuck to his forehead in a silly way after wearing the helmet for so long, his mouth is pink and full, and he has captivating blue eyes that make Obi-Wan takes a second to realise where his mind is going with that. This really can't be Darth Vader.

Almost too consumed by his thoughts, the man who can't be Vader sways his lightsaber quickly and Obi-Wan barely manages to block it.

"You're slower than usual, Kenobi," he says. Yes, there is that too. Without his modulator, Darth Vader has a lovely voice. Low and soothing, with a charming cadence to his words. Vader shakes his head, and all the wild curls around his face move, catching the sun. Honestly, it's like Vader is doing it on purpose. "I'm very sorry darling," Obi-Wan says before he realises what he's saying. Vader's eyes grow comically round at the endearment. "But it is the first I'm seeing your face, and it is a very distracting sight." Obi-Wan is standing close enough to see realisation dawning on him. The hand not holding his saber comes to his face, touching his cheek, as if checking if Obi-Wan is telling the truth.

Then something that Obi-Wan will think about for years to come happens. Vader starts blushing. He immediately disengages, stepping back so fast that he almost trips. He opens his mouth, splutters a bit, and when Obi-Wan takes a step forward, just to see what will happen, Darth Vader yells "don't!" way too loud for what he's used to. It would be rude to impose like that, so Obi-Wan complies and stops moving. The blush spreads to his ears, and it's a shame that his armour covers him so far up his neck because Obi-Wan has a sudden interest in seeing how far it can go. Vader lets out a fast series of foreign curses under his breath. "You haven't— This isn't—" Obi-Wan tilts his head, and Vader clearly takes that as an insult. "Shut up, I just forgot!" Mortification. From showing his face or what he just said, or both, Obi-Wan can't tell. But the feeling is so clear on his face that Obi-Wan wonders if it's why he wears a mask. It's very difficult to be intimidated by someone who wears their heart on their sleeve like that. "Well, I do prefer it this way. I think I would feel better if one day you manage to fatally wound me and the last thing I see is your face. I would die comforted in the knowledge that at least, death has pretty eyes." Vader looks ready to keel over. "No," he says, as if Obi-Wan said something awful to him. "No, you can't say— just— no!" He steps back again, one hand raised in front of him. "I need to go. Don't— this isn't over, Kenobi, later, I'll get to you later." Obi-Wan has never been more charmed by such awkwardness. He offers Vader his best grin. "Oh, I sure hope you do." Vader's face looks somewhere between dumbstruck and horrified. He doesn't try to pronounce another word, choosing, for once, to flee as fast as possible. If Obi-Wan had known sooner that flowery compliments and a warm tone were the keys to making him lose his bearings, a huge amount of destruction could have been easily avoided. Oh, well. There's always next time.

[redfurrycat]

White Collar and Top Gun Fusion

Special Agent for the FBI in the white-collar crimes division Bradley Bradshaw once arrested white-collar criminal Jake Seresin, alias the Hangman.

The Hangman is a charming and sophisticated con artist known as such because he cockily leaves a hangman game on each crime scene (leading to his next theft). However, Agent Bradshaw cracks his hangman code which has allowed him to finally capture the elusive criminal.

(Un)fortunately, his criminal talents in counterfeiting are coveted by the white-collar crimes division. The FBI IceBoss Tom Kazansky strikes a deal with him: serving his remaining four-year sentence as an anklet-wearing consultant to the FBI. Seresin accepts the deal as long as he gets Agent Bradshaw as his handler. (What? The guy has brains and is sweet on the eye –his moustache notwithstanding–, and he likes ‘hem smart and pretty.)

Agent Bradshaw has no choice but to obey his bossdad. He’s thus now working with the infuriating, cunning, and not at all appealing criminal alongside his newly formed white-collar team –Agents Natasha Trace and Bob Floyd. The team has a particularly high solved-cases rate, mainly due to the duo très spécial working together.

FBI consultant Jake Seresin has the time of his life: he lives in a beautiful and richly decorated house with Penny Benjamin, the charming landlady; he wears her late husband’s styled suits and hats; he finds his criminal and genius best friend Javy Machado again and often asks him for help in various FBI cases…

About that…He is surprised how much he likes using his devilishly almost-too-good-to-be-true talents (‘ugh’, says Bradley, every single time) for the other side of the law. His colleagues Trace and Floyd are really nice too: he banters with Phoenix like he would his own sister, and fondly annoys Bob like he would a little brother.

He expects even less to fall for Agent Bradshaw. Bradley. The Hawaiian-shirt-wearing and by-the-book special agent appears to be a little grumpy on the outside, especially with him, but Jake is trying to shatter Bradley’s walls, and he will succeed eventually. They have numerous evening talks during which they share personal details, and pretty much bicker about every possible subject.

Jake also meets the IceBoss’ trophy wife and Bradley’s godfather, Pete (‘Call me Maverick’) Mitchell. Maverick is a mechanic and an engineer, and he does some consultant work when the FBI needs his expertise. These two become thick as thieves, as they have similar minds, and Maverick often invites Jake for dinner (Bradley whines ‘Mav, whyyyyyyyyy?!’ meanwhile Ice is questioning his husband’s –matchmaking–motives…‘Trust me IceBaby, I know what I’m doing.’)

It is Mav who convinces Jake to go for it, because his oblivious godson would never act on his feelings, he’s too cautious (‘Ah. The snug-on-his-perch type’��..‘Well, yeah, but he has his reasons.’). However, Mav is sure he likes Jake because Ice has told him Bradley often comes in his office to rant about Hangman (‘Ice, he’s yet again charming such and such, he’s unprofessional!’… Also Ice has the patience of a saint).

Thus Jake begins wooing Bradley à la Hangman: he leaves him complimentary notes disguised as hangman games on his desk, he delivers perfect art forgeries in Bradley’s effigy (paintings, sculptures, drawings,…) at his home –Bradley’s both scandalised and reluctantly charmed– and, on one memorable occasion, Bradley’s gifted a Carrara-marbled, life-sized and very much naked statue of Jake. He stays speechless for an abnormal amount of time and can’t look Jake in the eye (héhé) for some time. He’ll deny it, but Bradley keeps the statue. Of course, he keeps the statue! Finally, Jake’s last and most romantic move is to offer Bradley a piano he's personally restored! It’s the final straw for Bradley: he jumps him so hard his neighbours call the police to report *suspicious* noise.

[After their “strenuous” activities, Jake asks Bradley if he has succeeded in accomplishing his most spectacular heist.

Bradley: And what would that be?

Jake: Have I finally succeeded in stealing your heart?

Bradley: For a seductive bastard, you are ridiculously corny sometimes…but if you must know. Yeah, you did.]

Once they get their act together, Bradley feels comfortable enough to do some wooing of his own: he serenades Jake with skillful renditions of 'Smooth Criminal' on the piano as well as old romantic ballads.

[dragonchris]

Game Review: Wandersong

I heavily debated reviewing this game. On one hand, I love it. It's an amazing game with a wonderful message and I've been thinking about it constantly. On the other hand, it's fucking buggy as hell and I'd never recommend it to anyone who has patience thinner than a 2x4 or epilepsy.

Welcome to Wandersong, where you play as one of the most bizarre creatures in the world.

An Extrovert.

Story:

The world is ending and you gotta stop it! You're not a brave warrior or a clever mage, but you're a bard with a heart as big as your vocal chords. And by god you're gonna sing to save the world.

This game balances lighthearted goofiness and emotional depth with a good amount of skill. The characters are charming and funny, and the emotional moments are touching and thoughtful. The more you play to save this world, the more you fall in love with it.

Gameplay and Controls:

If the story is the game's strongest point, the gameplay is it's weakest. BY A LONG SHOT.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush, this game is broken. The mechanics don't control very well, the physics of this world are often your enemy, and sometimes the game just will not work with you, which makes some puzzles just slightly more enjoyable than pulling out your own teeth with a crowbar.

In all honesty, I never got to finish the game. Because it Fucking broke halfway through. Fun fact, if you fail at one puzzle enough times because the physics simply refuse to work, the game just DELETES ASSETS FROM THE LEVEL. Have fun playing an invisible character falling through a platform that no longer exists, fucker.

To make matters worse, the accessibility options don't even work. I tried to toggle off the flashing lights option. It did fuck all. I tried to clear my game data to restart the game after it broke on me. The button does nothing. The only thing worse than a game with no accessibility options is a game with options that do jack shit and jill piss.

Sound:

But, to a more positive note, the soundtrack of this game is very good. I do think it's a clever mechanic to use singing as your primary ability. And with a game that relies so heavily on music, it's no surprise that the music delivers, carrying the whimsical and adventurous tone of the story through its soundtrack. You're just a happy little guy singin' your way through this world, and the music does a great job of helping you feel that way. My favorite part was where you controlled a pirate ship with your voice. It's also very rewarding to recognize recurring motifs and see how they represent the overall story.

Art:

The paper cut-out aesthetic of this 2-D game gives it a whimsical charm and a special aesthetic that helps make this game memorable. It just looks so cute. The character designs are all varied and unique, and the levels all have unique visual themes that keep the game vibrant and interesting all the way up until the end.

Playable, Replayable, or Unplayable?

I want to say that it's a playable game. That you should play it. I fell in love with this game and its story, which is probably why its unplayable mechanics frustrated me so deeply. Though I wasn't able to finish the game, I did watch someone else's playthrough because I wanted to see how it ended, and I'm glad I did.

I loved the ending. I loved the way the story progressed and expanded, the themes that it used and the way that the characters developed. There was genuine heart behind the production of this game. If I could rank this game on story alone, I would give it a 10/10.

But for the game as a whole, a lot of things would need to change before I could mark this as an amazing game. The physics need reworking, the accessibility options need to actually function, and perhaps a failsafe like a level selector might be beneficial for people like me who got completely softlocked and would rather go to the beginning of the act rather than start over completely. It has amazing highs and some pretty bad lows, so because of this, I give this game a smack-dab in the middle 5/10.

Steam

Itch.io

Wandersong Official Website

[prancingnougat]

(Cheery) Games for Combating the Post Final Fantasy XVI Blues

After beating FFXVI, I got super down - not because I disliked the game, quite the opposite. I loved it so much that now the experience was over, I felt that all-too-familiar void, and I suspect that I'm not alone in that.

So I went back to play some of the more recently released games that I bought (from the past 5 years or so), a few of which I never beat. As much as I loved and appreciate 16 for everything it is, I really wanted something lighter in terms of themes. I figure this could be a decent list for people who might want another RPG-like experience. These are very different, however - I'm focusing on games that are available for purchase right now, and games that are a little on the brighter side, thematically. Your mileage will totally vary, but some of these are fun games that appealed to me and they might appeal to you too!

Bravely Default 2

Play me if you like: job systems, rewarding level grinding, sidequests galore

The original Bravely Default 1+2 are Nintendo 3DS classics that absolutely stand the test of time, but can be a little expensive/hard to find. BD2, on the other hand, is available on the Nintendo eShop and for PC. It is great if you're looking to get back to basics in regard to story and RPG mechanics - but that's not to say the gameplay is lacking. Far from it, BD2 has one of the most fun job systems I've ever encountered. The cast of characters is charming, the graphics are lovely, and I've found it relaxing after the intensity of FFXVI. Plus, all the job outfits are outright adorable (especially Beastmaster, my beloved)

Harvestella

Play me if you like: unexpectedly good stories, loads of character depth, farming simulation, light-but-fun action RPGs

If you liked FFXVI for its story, I think you might appreciate Harvestella's strange but wonderful sci-fi fantasy narrative/world. While it's much lighter on the action, and its job system isn't quite as involved as the Bravely Default series, it's still a completely unique experience that blends light farming sim elements with classic RPG fun. It's similarly relaxing as BD2 in the sense that you're encouraged to take it at your own pace and focus on your own favored play style. It completely took me by surprise with it's story, and I tend to be pretty picky about that sort of thing. It's also available on Switch and PC!

Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin

Play me if you like: action sidescrollers, more in-depth farming elements, mythological settings

This is definitely one of the most unique games I've ever played, and while it's completely different from FFXVI, it can potentially serve as something of a palate cleanser after going through such a dark story. Sakuna has one of the most complex farming systems, one that is impacted by your exploration. It also helps determine your character's stats. You explore the wilderness as a little goddess who lives away from her celestial home, opting for the life of a common rice farmer. While the focus is on rice farming as opposed to many crops like other farming sims, it's a fun way of centering yourself in between your more wilder adventures. It's on Switch, PS4, and PC!

Rune Factory 4 Special

Play me if you like: much lighter humor, light crafting systems, loooong stories, farming and marriage mechanics

You can probably tell that I have a thing for action games with farming elements. RF4 is my favorite in the Rune Factory series, and though there's a newer title with RF5, I found myself consistently enjoying this one a lot more. It's a humorous story that knows when it hit the right beats with it's sincerity, all while being just the right amount of challenging in regards to the action, with its pacing also controlled by your own gameplay style. It's wildly different from FFXVI, but it's one of my go-to games for cheering myself up after something heavy. And now that it's available on multiple platforms, more people can enjoy it too!

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age

Play me if you like: strong ensemble casts, FFXVI's hunts, flexible job systems, MMO-style combat, challenging sidequests and superbosses

While this is easily the "darkest" game on this list, I still find its story very hopeful while balancing more serious themes. It is the culmination of everything good about Final Fantasy from the PS2 era; a long and interesting story that remains engaging throughout, phenomenal monster hunts that will push you to really engage with the job system, and satisfying sidequests with lots of loot. Plus, it's another Final Fantasy! I could suggest just about any game in the series, but since this one is a redone version that is now available on a ton of platforms, it's easily my biggest recommendation for anyone who wants a longer game in a similar vein as FFXVI.

Those are just a few games out there that might help itch some very specific scratches you've still got after playing 16. While I absolutely LOVE FFXVI's story - heaviness and all - I know I needed a big break before going and replaying it. Hopefully they bring someone as much cheer as they've brought me!

[riality-check]

when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love! 💕💕

This is so old, I'm so sorry (and I have another one of these asks that I'm saving for when I get some other things finally drafted) but here we go, in no particular order:

Skylines, Cigarettes, and Second Chances (29k, 4/4 chapters, Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply)

"Immediately after that first, perfect kiss in the hospital, Steve had said, I don’t want anyone to know. That stung a bit, but Eddie gets it. Steve went on to explain that he wasn’t sure how he felt, that he was trying to figure himself out, that all he did know is that he liked Eddie. And Steve really does like him. Eddie can tell. So, he can live with it." OR Steve and Eddie get together after Vecna. It doesn't last. But when Eddie calls for a favor a few years later, they think that maybe, just maybe, they're worth trying for again.

I'm sure absolutely no one is surprised that I included this on the list because I have not been able to shut up about it, but I really like this fic! I'm really proud of it! Go read it if angst with a happy ending is your jam!

like a sack of bricks (18k, 1/1 chapters, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply)

"Eddie isn’t lucky. He’s obnoxious and smart and talented and a little too quick to snap back if threatened, but he isn’t lucky. At least, not until last week. Last week, he went with Chrissy to that stupid cowboy bar she loves so much. Last week, he ran into the hottest guy he’s ever seen in his life. Last week, he had the best sex of his life with said hottest guy, and he hasn’t even been ghosted yet." OR Steve and Eddie, continuing from that cowboy bar meet-cute. Featuring second and third dates, a good amount of jokes, some tragic backstory lore, drag queens, sheer ridiculousness, kinkier sex this time around, and Eddie going Through It (TM) before Steve makes it better. Or maybe the charm has everything to do with the bartender. OR The dom drop fic I've had in my head for months.

This is also another fic that deals with heavy topics, and I'm also very proud of it! Go read it for a bunch of jokes, ridiculous shenanigans, what is hopefully (in)decent smut, and emotional hurt/comfort!

Bragging Rights, Fancy Drinks, and the Bartender Conundrum (6860 words, 1/1 chapters, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply)

"But, for some reason, this place doesn’t feel standard. Maybe it’s the fact that all the pictures on the walls look modern and aren’t filled with old white dudes holding cans of Bud Light. Maybe it’s the fact that the music, thank god, isn’t beer, truck, dog country or rock music that Republicans like. Or maybe the charm has everything to do with the bartender. Good god. Eddie thinks he might die right then and there." OR Eddie and the guys go to a new place in search of a trivia spot safe from frat bros. What Eddie doesn't expect is to become smitten with not one, but two of the bartenders who work there. Or so he thinks.

This is ridiculous, gender shenanigan fluff, and I was absolutely blown away by the response to it! Go read it if you like faceblind bisexual disaster Eddie, Corroded Coffin friendships and interactions, and badass, genderfluid Stev(i)e Harrington!

save a horse, ride an ex-jock (9835 words, 1/1 chapters, Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply)

"Steve's eyes land on the mechanical bull across the place. It’s a stupid looking thing. There’s no way it’s safe. It’s white with brown spots, and Steve can see the metal frame where the paneling splits. Its dead black eyes are nightmare fuel. Eddie says, 'Bet I could ride it better than you.' 'Bet I could ride you better than you ride it,' Steve says. Filter? Gone. But he doesn’t mind. Because Eddie takes Steve’s hat. 'I’m sure you could, but me first.' Steve might not like this cowboy stuff, but he knows what Eddie taking the hat means." OR A metalhead and an ex-jock walk into a cowboy themed bar to support their favorite lesbians. Featuring mechanical bull riding, the more fun kind of riding, Steve's horndog inner monologue, and way too many jokes for what was supposed to be just smut.

This is also ridiculous, and it started as a complete and utter joke with some light bribery involved to get me to write it. Go read it if you like cowboy jokes, silly sex, Appalachian Eddie Munson, and Steve being a bit of a slut (affectionate).

what's in a name, anyway? (4823 words, 1/1 chapters, Teen, No Archive Warnings Apply)

“On good days, Steve sees his name as a gift from a well meaning but distant relative, like an ugly sweater that doesn’t quite fit. On bad days, he hates it.” OR Five people who call Steve by his full name, and one person who never does.

This is pretty far into headcanon territory, but I really enjoyed writing the POVs of various characters. Read if you want Steve-centric angst, Hopper, Joyce, Nancy, Robin, and Dustin POV, and some Steddie fluff to balance the whole thing out!

[gamersonthego]

Matt Giguere's Top 25 Game Boy & Game Boy Color Games

Ed. note: Thanks to “Giggysan” for joining on GOTG’s GB & GBC Top 25 episode. The following list are his personal top games for the system, which include none of the restrictions we used in our shared list.

25. Boxxle

24. Shadowgate Classic

23. Balloon Kid

22. DuckTales

21. Super Mario Land

20. Shantae

19. Kwirk

18. Metroid II: Return of Samus

17. Final Fantasy Legend II

16. Kirby's Dream Land

15. Warlocked

14. Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land

13. Wario Land 3

12. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages

11. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons

10. The Final Fantasy Legend 

While it may be a very basic RPG (you can make whatever party you want at the beginning) this game is no pushover. There are neat, but often obtuse battle mechanics that may put off those not willing to bend to the whims of the RNG gods, but I still find that as part of this game’s charm. For an early turn-based RPG on the Game Boy, the first Final Fantasy Legend is worth a look for what it accomplished in its time.

9. Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

While a bit of a wonky platformer, Super Mario Land 2 manages to make for a very memorable and engaging time. The larger sprites make it easier to follow the action on screen, and while Mario might feel a bit floatier than usual, it still manages to be a solid game from beginning to end.

8. Final Fantasy Adventure

While not as good or transformative as Link’s Awakening, FF Adventure gets points for trying to bring the Zelda formula to the portable screen when few were tapping into that well. Just like Awakening, there is a full adventure to be had with this one, and a surprisingly engaging story.

7. Gargoyle’s Quest

A special little early Game Boy game from Capcom that is surprisingly deep for its time. Mixing both platforming and a character who levels up, this might feel like home to fans of the Adventures of Link on the NES, but here Gargoyle feels a bit more competent with its blend of genres.

6. Mario Golf

THE sports game to grab for the Game Boy Color. Somehow, Camelot made the best feeling and most fulfilling golf game on this small portable, and it remains as one of the best sports games made today.

5. Kirby’s Dream Land 2

While the first Kirby game on Game Boy started the series, it was Kirby on the NES that gave him his personality. Dream Land 2 expands upon the NES game with animal companions that add a dual layer of mixing and matching abilities. It offers a feature-rich Kirby game right in your pocket with all the charm of the originals.

4. Donkey Kong '94

A surprise to be sure, but a welcomed one! Donkey Kong '94 is one of the most pleasant surprises on the Game Boy that, on its face, would have been a very decent port of the original arcade game from 1981. Instead, Nintendo flipped the script on the archaic moveset of Jumpman to make him feel more like modern Mario. There is also an astounding amount of content to be played here with just over 100 levels to test your puzzle-solving and platforming skills.

3. Pokemon Red/Blue

The games that started it all and spawned a billion-dollar franchise. While my love of the mainline Pocket Monsters franchise began and ended with this release, I still think back to the countless hours spent during recess with my friends grinding, trading and, most especially, battling each other to see who was the very best. Much like Link’s Awakening, Pokemon Red and Blue exemplifies how very little in terms of hardware power can produce a whole lot to play.

2. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening

Link’s Awakening is a good example of how to get a lot out of something with so little by making a full-fledged adventure on a handheld with all the trappings of the home console versions. Few games can make the same claim that Link’s Awakening manages to pull off. Even though this game has been picked apart critically for years, it still remains fresh and a delight to play.

Tetris

You probably saw this coming like a desperately needed line tetromino on a five row setup. Yes, Tetris is one of the best games ever made. Yes, it is one of the greatest pack-in titles. Yes, it is one of the perfect examples of handheld and on-the-go gaming. Kids played it. Their parents and siblings played it. Everyone, for a time, played Tetris on a Game Boy. Tetris and the Game Boy are linked to the hip, and for that it deserves the number 1 spot.

[doamarierose-honoka]

Super Monkey Ball is one of those franchises that randomly has a huge fan base you rarely ever hear from. One such fan is my wife, who doesn't seem to like any video games at all but absolutely loves Super Monkey Ball games. She played the first Super Monkey Ball game on the Gamecube obsessively and talks about it every time we have any sort of discussion about gaming. So naturally, as soon as I found out Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble was on sale, I immediately picked it up.

Truthfully, I too am a fan of these games and am very much looking forward to playing it as well. While I coudn't get myself to pay full price for any Switch game, the price of $34.99 feels just right.

Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble Deal - 30% Off

While I haven't yet had the pleasure of playing Banana Rumble myself, I have read the IGN review of the game and it convinced me that it is absolutely worth playing. With an impressive set of 200 courses across 20 worlds, we've concluded that this is the best Monkey Ball has been since the GameCube era. Our own Nintendo expert Logan Plant had the chance to go hands on with the game and here's a quick snippet of what he thought in our review:

What We Said in Our Review

"Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble is a brilliant return to form. Monkey Ball has finally found its way home again with a set of 200 fantastic courses that range from delightfully charming to devilishly challenging, backed up by tight mechanics and predictable physics that put me in total control of my monkey’s fate. This isn’t just a cover album of Monkey Ball’s greatest hits, though, as the new spin dash ability is a genius evolution of the franchise’s core ideas, and smartly-implemented online play adds fresh layers of cooperation and strategy. The underwhelming and forgettable battle mode is Banana Rumble’s biggest disappointment, but the sheer amount of optional objectives and replayability found in its adventure mode make it easy to ignore. It doesn’t quite reach the heights of the amazing GameCube originals, but Banana Rumble is easily the best Super Monkey Ball game in over 20 years." - Logan Plant

Super Monkey Ball Banana Rumble was release just last month on June 25 and this is the first and biggest discount we've seen on this game. It's especially surprising after a rather lackluster showing of Prime Day Switch deals earlier this week. If you've been hoping to pick up this game at a discount, now is the time to do so.

[gedthestudent]

5+2 Micro-Reviews of my favorite D&D Retro-Clones

OSRIC and Hyperborea 3e

I am very partial to the Advanced flavors of Dungeons & Dragons so its no surprise that these are included in my favorites. OSRIC is a relatively faithful retro-clone of the first edition of AD&D, a game much maligned as the most un-designed among the editions of D&D. It turns out once you remove Gary Gygax's appalling writing, weapon versus AC adjustment tables, and endless Dragonsfoot debates about initiative rules, you arrive at an excellent game. For a free product, it comes with a surprising amount of charming art in the black-and-white style now synonymous with the OSR. The book is not only free but it is three books in one: a player's book, a game master's book, and a bestiary. Hyperborea 3e on the other hand is a AD&D 1e retro-clone that is laser-focused on the sword and sorcery genre. It also streamlines AD&D 1e by smoothing over some of the game's peculiarities. Attribute modifiers are simplified, weapon damage versus size adjustments are dissolved, and segment-based initiative is dissolved in favor for a phase-based initiative in the spirit of Holmes' Basic D&D. Multi-classing is also dissolved in favor of providing a rich variety of distinct sub-classes. Hyperborea 3e also includes robust spell research rules. Spell levels in this retro-clone only reach the heights of spell level 6. The two-column formatting and black-and-white art is wonderful. Hyperborea 3e comes in two books, one for players and the other for game masters. The latter book includes an even a more detailed gazetteer for Jeffrey Talanian's namesake setting, the bestiary, and more rules.

Dungeon Crawl Classics

Dungeon Crawl Classics is a fascinating and idiosyncratic retro-clone based on the scaffolding of D&D 3e. DCC has unified d20 resolution mechanics, ascending AC, and the emblematic three saving throws of reflex, fortitude, and willpower. That is where the similarities end. DCC is as much as game as it is a shameless indulgence of the spirit of old school D&D. Death is common, dungeons are dangerous, and the world is gonzo. DCC adopts the race-classes of Basic/Expert D&D but also endeavors to be its own game with two defining features: funnels and extensive charts. Heroes are not made, they are found. Level-0 characters must survive an ultra-lethal dungeon before they are able to enjoy the first level of a class. Funnels are a tool to teach OSR principles and they have the subtlety of a blunt executioner's axe. Do not be fooled by the book's length. The game is a simple and familiar. Most of the length comes from the tables for spell checks, critical fumbles, and critical successes. The other defining feature of the game is the incredible flavor held in these tables and in the situations that arise from rolling on them. DCC is both a premier retro-clone and the single greatest instrument of mainstream D&D deprogramming.

Castles & Crusades

Castles & Crusades is both understated and underrated. To describe the game in the most simple terms, it is AD&D 1e reimagined with the unified d20 resolution of D&D 3e and beyond. The game includes all of the iconic D&D classes and the eighth printing in particular is to be applauded for its superb art and formatting. Punitive attribute requirements are dissolved, ascending AC is used, and multi-classing is presented in an accessible manner. My only criticism that the explanation for the non-combat resolution mechanic is poor. All Difficulty Classes are 18. All rolls are modified by the one of the six classic attributes. If the roll includes the character's primary attribute, they receive an additional +6 to their roll. If the roll includes the one of the character's class abilities, they receive an additional bonus equal to their level. This is the game to play if your table wants to engage with AD&D but do not want to engage with its vestigial qualities.

Old School Essentials and Advanced Labyrinth Lord

Old School Essentials is a 1-to-1 retro-clone of B/X D&D presented in a best-in-industry, control panel format. Game mechanics are stripped bare and presented in a brutalist fashion that leaves no room for ambiguity. Descending and ascending AC are both included. All the art is wholesome and not at all missing the OSR charm. Advanced Fantasy is the definitive version of the game that includes everything in the Classic Fantasy tome but introduces reimagined features and rules from both AD&D and Unearthed Arcana. Labyrinth Lord was the retro-clone that preceded OSE. Advanced Labyrinth Lord is a comprehensive game that includes everything in the first iteration of Labyrinth Lord but incorporates the Advanced Edition Companion. This results in an experience that cleaves much more faithfully to AD&D proper. Classes' attribute requirements are here and descending AC is used. Segment-based initiative from AD&D 1e is absent. What OSE might lack in flavor, ALL has in abundance.

Swords & Wizardry Complete

Original D&D, or "OD&D," has no shortage of retro-clones either. There is Delving Deeper, Iron Falcon, White Box Fantasy Adventure Game, Swords and Wizardry, and more. Each seeks to clone various iterations of OD&D and each has its fans. Swords & Wizardry seeks to clone the original game and its supplements, which results in a streamlined game that approaches AD&D. More class options, a divorce between race and class, and both descending and ascending AC are all present. Swords & Wizardry also is known for its unified saving throw. There is no more wrestling with five categories of saving throws. The crowdfunded Revised edition of Swords & Wizardry Complete also comes with rules for morale and spell research.

[naomidev]

Idle Bartending Introduction

I'm going to dedicate this blog to posting progress, updates and my thought process on "Idle Bartending", a game I'm making. It's basically just VA-11 HALL-A meets NGU idle. I was very surprised that this was not a thing yet, and I'm confident this a niche people are looking for even if they don't know they want it. Especially considering that idle games aren't known for being very visually appealing, and many lacking CHARM, I think that if I could create a game that clearly has a lot of heart and love put into it, people will see that and support it.

To start off, I should introduce who I am and what I've done before. My name is Naomi Chungus, and I have not created a game before. At most, I've just created sprites for projects that I never worked too hard on. However, I am confident that what I have in store will be the first step in a longer process of learning and mastering a craft; in this case, pixel art and game design. This is also going to be an exercise in putting aspects of myself that I think are appealing into a game, because I know that games are a medium that people can be very influenced and inspired by. I hope to instill that sense of wonder in someone else one day.

Idle Bartending is an incremental/idle game (it's both, I'm not using those terms interchangeably) set in a bar where you mix drinks for characters, manage resources, make money, and spend that money to make more money. A key focus is that this game MUST have copious amounts of comfort associated with it. Above all else, it must be charming and visible that love has been put into it. I would consider that harder than actually coming up with gameplay mechanics itself. This game will be free, but I will allow for microtransactions (EXTREMELY OPTIONAL) because it would be nice to be compensated for my work. I want this game to come out on steam first, then app stores later if we can manage that. Fingers crossed!!!

I came up with this idea because I looked up "idle bartending" online and couldn't find anything that wasn't a tycoon. Then I remembered, "Hey, VA-11 HALL-A drinks were really fun to make but you don't make them very often, maybe once every 5-10 minutes or so." And since I'm an idle game addict, I realized that this would be a good system to make for an idle game, but reiterated on of course.

I want progression to not be linear, but also to be very clear what you're supposed to do next. The biggest things I hate about idle games is that sometimes you just don't know what you're supposed to be doing next. NGU Idle is especially bad with this, that game practically needs a guide unless you're smarter than me, which is very possible. But I know that this is a huge pain point for other players as well, so I want to avoid this as much as possible.

I will probably update this blog more soon, I just wanted an introductory post for historical purposes.

Here's a sneak peek at one of the regulars you will come to know, Gin:

[centrally-unplanned]

I finished the book! Thoughts ahead:

I was wrong about Catti-brie being a major character, she barely does anything in the story; she isn't even part of the crew that leaves on the quest for Mithril Hall in the end! She exists only as a sort of "explanation" for Bruenor's willingness to take in Wulfgar, and as genre-mandated token "hot girl" to give the book some level of romantic tension - tension it honestly does not need, it goes nowhere. This book would be improved by just excising that entirely; let it be the story of Four Dudes, being Men and having Adventures In The North. In later books Drizzt tells that Catti-brie was one of the first to ever trust him when he arrived at Icewind Dale, and one of his closest friends. Which is very amusing because in this book they do not speak to each other. You would not be amiss assuming they have never been alone in a room together before. Which to be clear I think is cute, this is the Early Installment Weirdness I love - their relationship was clearly retconned.

Speaking of EIW, Drizzt is a bit of a prideful dumbass! He has a strong rep as the stoic warrior type, and he is that on the surface, but then he goes off on cocky vengeance missions, taunts enemies, and loves the thrill of battle. He also runs in without a plan half the time, openly assuming he is going to die but like, whatever man. I think this again is the 80's of it all showing; fantasy characters were supposed to have this sort of Tolkeinesque, faux-medieval-warrior feel to them, loving the glory of combat and all that. In the 90's tortured anti-heroes rise up, and Drizzt is easy enough to fit into that as the series evolves so he changes.

The worldbuilding is really good, definitely the best part of the book. You learn about the economics of Ten Towns, its history and governance, how like this or that road project changed the dynamics of this or that town's growth and created border disputes, and so on. It has that "Ten Towns are the REAL protagonist" vibe to it. And the wider world, while never really entering the story, is fully present - Drizzt in particular will often be like "oh yeah this reminds me of this one time" and details some incredibly specific story from Menzoberranzan and his past, he feels incredibly lived. Regis & Bruenor do the same to a lesser extent. Wulfgar's barbarian tundra people do not get this treatment; they are incredibly shallow, a glaring exception and real problem.

The villain, Akar Kessel, is terribly uninteresting, partially by design. The book does actually set up a decent dynamic where, as a stumbling apprentice who lucks into the titular powerful sentient artifact, said artifact likes that he is an incompetent nothing because it can control him (and needs a vessel to function). So in the first half of the book you actively see the Crystal Shard doing that. And then that...just stops being seen. In the back half its voice almost entirely vanishes. Which is weird because his death comes from the Shard rejecting him due to fucking up too many times! Which you see mechanically, but not narratively, there is no depiction of the evolving dynamic. Real dropped ball there, the Shard should have been the main villain ofc, but it just wasn't executed on.

TONS of ass-pulls to resolve plots and stuff. Too many to detail, luck bails these guys out of 50% of their problems.

We have a classic "security for the enemy wizard tower is a riddle you can solve!" THAT ISN"T SECURITY why would anyone do that? If your door can be unlocked by passing a Knowledge Arcana check, it's not a secure room it's a party game, set a fucking password.

Regis is kind of great, he obviously gets the least amount of respect and page count in future books and such as he isn't a fighter, but he is funny and far more relatable than most. Get them riches my dude.

Anyway, overall the book is incredibly mid, no surprises there. It does have a lot of charm to it, and there are likeable characters and the level of detail is impressive at times. But it is incredibly trope-laden and not a lot of thought was put into making a solid narrative arc. An "events happen, fighty fighty, next adventure" kind of deal. In particular, as a squad the main characters lack any real chemistry, so it is an awkward start to a Companions Adventure series.

Still, it shows talent, and I enjoyed reading it as historical curiosity that it is. Maybe try researching what a "female character" is next time though, just for kicks.

On a recent trip home I picked up my dog-eared childhood copy of The Crystal Shard, the first-ever appearance of trope-defining dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden:

As my partner remarked on seeing the cover, "do you really need the whole wolf? The pelt ain't enough?" Darn right it ain't, when I was ~10 and playing basement D&D every weekend with my friend circle I fucking loved Drizzt, like all nerd kids back then did. Even better, this book was one of those things where he isn't even the main character, no one thought this would become the "IP" that it did. It is pure Early Installment Weirdness. So I was curious how cruelly the passage of time would affect this 1988 fantasy pulp novel.

Anyway we are 112 pages in and our first named female character has finally appeared. I am not exaggerating or even ignoring bit characters for that point. Women as a concept do not appear in the first 30 pages, until this line:

"Fetch the wenches!" he commanded.

And you occasionally get some mind-dominated sex slaves who are, again, unnamed, until Catti-brie (the named girl) shows up. As barbarian boy Wulfgar's romantic interest by the by.

This isn't, like, a gigantic bash or anything - Catti-brie herself is a primary character and well-realized and all that, and as always you can tell a story about a group of guys if you want. But back then the pulp fantasy landscape was just fucking rough my dude; this book spends a lot of time on the "societies" of Icewind Dale, governance & trade and war, and women just do not contribute to that society, in any way, beyond token references to mothers-and-lovers as a concept.

There is a line Wulfgar, someone from the "barbarian" nomadic tribes, makes - as a comparison to Catti-brie - about women in his society:

Barbarian girls were raised to keep their thoughts and opinions, unimportant by the standards of men, to themselves.

And I get it, like Catti-brie is headstrong and wilful and Wulfgar is Learning to Respect Women. I grok that this is an arc moment and depiction is not endorsement. But I think that idea works a little better if the author had put a single female character from the barbarian society on the page to help with that point! The book shouldn't agree that they are unimportant, right? I'm looking at George R.R. Martin's portrayal of the Dothraki in A Game of Thrones - published in 1996! - and seeing it for the progressive act it is now lol, that is a low bar. I have read later R. A. Salvatore books and he would never do this today of course; it was just how the genre worked back then.

Progress is just good sometimes I guess!

[miloscat]

[Review] Zeepkist (PC)

A cheerful Trackmania type, with no accelerator!

My latest co-op venture with my brother was to grab the recent kart racer Humble Bundle, and we started with this: a downhill soapbox racing game with a Trackmania-like structure. Zeepkist in fact means soapbox in Dutch, and by the way the game’s solo developer Yannic Geurts has made sure to include a fair amount of iconography from the Netherlands, from windmills to stroopwafel.

As a soapbox racing “simulator”, your only speed comes from gravity (and the occasional boost panel). The trick is managing your momentum to take the turns, loops, and zany obstacles without crashing your utterly fragile vehicle. My brother’s goal was always to try not to brake at all, which often backfired on him but he did frequently pull off some incredible feats! The track design has a lot of fun surprises and silly setpieces, and getting through them as intended was usually—but not always—a fun challenge.

In multiplayer the idea is you take repeated runs at a single track within a defined time period (eight minutes by default), competing with the others in your room for the best run. It’s a neat little system that sees you figuring out the course and gradually bettering your time alongside the ghosts of other players, and it’s addictive and fun to compete within these timed rounds. We played through the whole set of the creator’s levels, but there’s many more in the community workshop thanks to an in-built track editor.

Accompanying these wacky downhill jaunts is... nothing... just an eerie silence and the occasional sound effect. Yes, despite the nice title screen jingle, adding music that plays during levels is currently on the to-do list, for you see this is still an early access game. Normally I’d avoid a game in this phase of development/release like the plague, but hey, we played this and it wasn’t so bad. I chose to listen to the soundtrack from Burnout Revenge, one of the games of our youth, in the background, and then Youtube autoplayed a pretty sick Eurobeat mix afterwards which got me in an amped mood for racing.

I can’t not mention the art style too, which is charming as heck. Bright colours, rounded shapes, a general low-poly thrown-together feel. There’s fun neon-tinged and pastel themes in addition to more pastoral hues. And of course the ever-present Zeepkist signature smile which adorns the face of every floppy driver as well as the very sun in the sky. Car and driver customisation won’t change this goofy grin but it can give you a cool hat and, say, a froggy car.

It’s this style, along with the remarkably solid controls and driving mechanics, that make the game feel so competent and playable. With these things nailed down, hopefully Yannic can slap some music in there and it can become a more widely digestible experience. Oh, and maybe get some testing and refining done on some of the more frustrating tracks while you’re at it... well, I guess this is what the early access period is for?