#IT'S HARDER WITH A CONTROLLER OKAY???
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That earlier ask about Dohn Mheg had me thinking about that tightrope mechanic...
#shadowbringers spoilers#shb spoilers#stars in the dark#fanfiction#ao3#persona 5#final fantsty xiv#ryne waters#minfilia#joker p5#ren amamiya#akira kurursu#akiren#ffxivf#ff14#WoL Joker#okay so i suck absolute ass at that mechanic and should not be trusted to try to cross it#let me just... take potshots from a distance until it's over...#IT'S HARDER WITH A CONTROLLER OKAY???
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Jasico Bingo Challenge: Boyfriend Sweater
When Nico walks into the dining pavilion wearing a golden yellow sweater, Percy does a double-take. Actually, it’s a triple-take: first, he thought it was a new Apollo kid, then he realized it was Nico, then he realized it was Nico. Wearing a color.
Is the world ending again? Was there something really wrong with the milk in his cereal? What in the everloving Hades was going on?!
Nico sits down at table 13, unbothered as ever, and pulls the sleeves of the hoodie up. It’s way too big on him, like Big Bird shed and some poor fucker decided Nico di Angelo needed the empty muppet skin in his wardrobe.
(Is it Nico? Maybe some changeling creature kidnapped their resident son of Hades and has decided to take his place? Maybe Percy needs to go over there and test him out, y’know, knick him with some iron or something to see if he burns. If it’s an imposter, though, they’re doing a piss-poor job. Is it an intentionally bad job? Gods, it’s barely eight AM on a Tuesday, does he seriously have to go save Nico from somewhere and kill a monster wearing his face? That does not sound like his ideal Tuesday, if he’s really real. He’ll totally do it, but he won’t like it, and maybe he should start planning how to take out a creature like-)
“I can see the mountain you’re building,” Annabeth says, popping Percy’s strangely detailed daydream of hunting down and killing a weird, half-Nico, half-demon gremlin creature. He blinks the image out of his eyes and looks up at her, her hip resting against the edge of his table.
She looks amused. He squints. “Nico’s been bodysnatched.”
“Mm, no,” she says easily, with a shake of her head. “Nico’s wearing a jacket.”
“A yellow jacket.” Percy looks at the son of Hades again. He just- can’t wrap his head around it. He hasn’t seen Nico willingly wear a color since the guy was ten years old. “A yellow jacket that’s, like, twice his size.”
“It’s a molehill, seaweed brain. A jacket’s just a jacket.”
“But it’s yellow.”
“What was your nightmare about?”
Percy physically recoils at the non sequitur, tilting back in his seat incredulously. His- what? His nightmare? What does his nightmare have to do with a jacket, anyway, that’s got nothing to do with this.
He folds his arms on the table and makes a face. “That’s unrelated.”
Annabeth’s mouth raise at the corners, her eyes watching him like an all-knowing hawk. An owl, three-sixty vision and nothing but questions, who, who?
She pets through his hair and pushes her weight back up. As she draws her hand back, she taps his cheek, then his chin, and says, “just leave him alone, then.”
Percy watches her walk back to her table. When she sits, he buries his face in his arms and groans.
“Jason has also been bodysnatched,” Percy hisses to Annabeth during pottery class.
“What makes you say that.” She throws her lump of clay at the pedestal in front of her and gives Percy the same look she gave him this morning.
Percy decides to ignore that look, because that is the look of reason and he is far beyond that now. “He was wearing this black jacket with, like, skulls in hourglasses and weird skeleton butterflies and shit during Latin.”
“He is related to Thalia, you know,” Annabeth hums. She wets her hands as the plate before her starts to spin. “Maybe he’s going through the family goth phase.”
Had she not just leaned in to start forming something magical and incredible out of clay, Percy would slouch over Annabeth’s shoulders and plead with her to at least consider that something weird is going on. Maybe it’s not bodysnatchers or changelings, okay, but something is strange! Jason Grace does not just decide to wear emo shit! Jason Grace once had a panic attack because the Aphrodite Cabin stole a pair of his jeans and cut them into shorts! This is a man who has a stricter sense of style than Nico, who, fucking hell, don’t even get Percy started on that. The yellow jacket has remained on all day and it’s haunting him.
Annabeth dips her thumbs into the top of her clay and does not respond.
Percy slumps down into the stool beside hers and huffs, more for himself than anything.
Change is okay. Change is fine. But change like this, with no reason, is the opposite of fine. Change like this is a low-blow stink bomb in an otherwise perfect Capture the Flag game, impossible to get out of his clothes and his skin and his hair. Change like this is how people die.
He claws his hands up into his hair and listens to the steady whir of the pottery wheel, the sound of wet clay being molded and shaped in different ways. There’s a lull of conversation from other campers in the class, kids from all different cabins, because to them this is any other day.
Maybe this should be any other day to him, too. No, not maybe. It should be. This should be a regular Tuesday, full of regular classes with his regular friends who are ordinary in whatever ways they can be, but instead, Percy’s brain has to go and mix up everything, make everything feel- out of control.
HIs next exhale shakes too hard for his liking. His shoulders are too tense.
Beside him, Annabeth keeps calmly shaping her pot. She dips her hands into the water every so often, probably executing some flawless plan of action she drafted the night before. She’s not always delicate with her hands, with art like this - Percy knows that’s something she’s self conscious about. She never thinks she can be good at finer things.
That’s normal. That’s normal for her. Ordinary, to think that Annabeth Chase would tackle arts and crafts in the same way she would a war strategy, devising the perfect approach for a flawless result. Executing it flawlessly.
She pinches too hard pulling up the walls of the pot. It crumples, then swings off the wheel entirely with the force of it’s motion, splattering wetly across Percy’s arms and the other campers at the bench.
Percy watches Annabeth glare at her failed creation. She sticks her hands in the dirty water to scrub the clay off, wipes her hands off on her shirt, and pulls on Percy’s sleeve.
“I hate pottery,” she mutters as they rise together.
Percy grins. “I think it knows that,” he teases, and follows as she stomps toward the exit.
When the answer slaps Percy in the face, it feels more like a gut punch in the way it makes him breathless and off-balance.
“You’re…huh?”
Annabeth clicks her tongue. “You two couldn’t think of a better way to do this?” she gestures between Nico and Jason, standing awkwardly side by side as if they don’t know what to do with themselves.
They’re still wearing the wrong jackets. Each other’s jackets.
Percy makes a face, then realizes that might not be the best response to his two friends telling him their dating, so he tries to make a different face.
The world’s not ending. They’re just…together. Sharing jackets, like couples do.
“We didn’t want to make it a big deal,” Jason says. He keeps glancing at Nico and chewing on the inside of his lip. Nico, with the golden sleeves of apparently-Jason’s-jacket pulled over his hands once more, looks stubborn. Like he’s ready to fight about something.
Percy wipes his sweaty hands off on his shirt and gestures, though he’s not sure at what. “But Nico’s wearing a color?”
He feels more than sees Annabeth’s disapproving glare at the side of his head. Jason draws himself up, then seems to falter. His head cocks to the side and he shakes his head.
“What?”
“That’s a big deal,” Percy reiterates. “Nico doesn’t wear colors.”
“Nico is standing right here, wearing a color,” Nico grumbles. He shoves his hands into the pocket of the sweatshirt and gives Percy a glare that is far more familiar than literally anything else happening right now. “I’m allowed to wear whatever I want to wear, for the record.”
“But you don’t!”
“Well I do now. If you have a fucking problem with it-”
“I never said I had a problem with it,” Percy snaps back, immediately on the defensive. “I was fucking worried about you, you little shit, I thought something was wrong. I thought- I don’t know what I thought! I thought you two were swapped with some other versions of yourself, I thought you’d been- I don’t know- abducted by aliens, or fairies, or something!” He throws his hands up in the air, then drops them back onto his head, staring sort of at the middle point between the two of them. “You can’t do that shit and not expect- I mean, because, come on, guys, you’re you, you two fucking freak out if someone so much as touches your clothes. What were we supposed to think?”
The hearth crackles. It’s too pleasant a sound for the sick Percy feels.
Annabeth takes his hand, at least, and squeezes. His face burns with the shame of yelling like this, over this, it just feels so fucking stupid all of a sudden. He feels so stupid. Annabeth tried to tell him it was nothing, and he let it all get away with him, he let that nasty part of his brain win and win and win, and now he’s taking his losses out on them.
“I’m happy for you two,” he makes himself say, when no one else speaks. “I think I just also need therapy.”
Finally, Annabeth snorts. It’s a noise Percy knows, one he can ground himself with, same as her palm hot in his, her weight tilting into his side as her head bonks into his chin.
The stress he’d held bundled up in his spine and his shoulders and his stomach all day releases in an instant. He slouches back in against her and laughs against the top of her head.
“Jesus Christ,” Nico mutters, when Percy can’t stop himself, dissolving into a fit of hysterics over his own bullshit. “This is why I said we should just tell them. He’s laughing at us.”
“I think he’s laughing at himself,” Jason says. He sounds uncertain.
Percy hugs Annabeth tight, and laughs himself hoarse.
EXTRA
Nico stares at himself in Jason’s mirror, with the sweater hanging halfway down his thighs, sleeves hanging off his hands, the peak of his collarbone through the freaking collar. He narrows his gaze into a glare.
“I look like a toddler,” he says derisively.
Jason, still getting dressed himself, laughs. When he appears in the mirror behind Nico, looking far more proportional in Nico’s sweatshirt (which is frankly fucking unfair), his grin softens into a smile that’s- something. Sweet.
Nico twitches his nose.
“I look like I’m six years old,” he says, grabbing the hem of the sweatshirt and yanking down. “Why are we doing this.”
“‘Cause it’s silly,” Jason says. He presses a kiss against the side of Nico’s head and hugs him loosely from behind. “You don’t look like a baby, either. You just look your age.”
Nico looks down at himself. Maybe there’s a point there, a point to be made about how he dresses for practicality, dresses to blend in, but never to express himself. Maybe there’s a point to be made about how his discomfort isn’t really for how he feels about this, but how he thinks others will feel about it.
He tugs at the hem again, and looks back up. Jason’s eyes in the mirror are bright, as if taking in the sight of Nico in his hoodie like this is something to savor.
Nico likes when Jason looks at him like that. He likes how it feels to be looked at like he’s attractive. He likes how it feels to be wanted.
“I guess,” Nico concedes, leaning further back into Jason’s chest. Immediately, Jason’s stance is more solid, sturdy, holding them both up as easy as breathing. He holds Nico like it’s a promise that he’ll never let go.
He looks at the pair of them in the mirror, a cohesive unit rather than two separate halves. Jason in black is definitely something Nico wants to see more of, especially with the way Nico’s clothes fit snug over him, just a little tight at the biceps and chest. He looks good, not that he doesn’t look good otherwise. Different.
With Nico his contrast in yellow…maybe it isn’t so bad. Maybe he likes being the counterbalance, even.
Jason squeezes him again. Those damn eyes in the mirror are making Nico too warm, like his stomach is full of hot jell-o.
“Okay, fine, let’s do this,” he huffs. The difference in his tone must be audible, though, because Jason perks up and grins, his eyebrows up, face aglow. Nico can’t look at him for too long. It’s still strange knowing he can make someone feel like that. He doesn’t know what to do when Jason turns the full puppy-love thing on. “And stop looking at me like that, you’re going to give me cavities.”
“Okay,” Jason says in a voice identical to his expression.
Nico grabs his hand and squeezes it twice.
Jason squeezes back, so tight it aches. Nico’s heart swells with bright affection.
Alright. Maybe yellow isn’t so bad, actually.
#jasicobingochallenge2024#boyfriend sweater#fanfiction#okay so this is mostly actually about Percy and Annabeth BUT BUT BUT. it's the Jasico that matters.#Jasico is the heart of it the crux of it.#so it still counts#I think Percy has a lot of trouble dealing with things that he doesn't perceive as normal from his friends#I think the switch really fucked with him in that regard#He feels like if all of a sudden the people he knows aren't doing the things he knows them to do then maybe he's losing his memory again#maybe something fucked up has happened and he hasn't realized it yet#maybe nico wearing yellow signifies he's grieving because the last time Nico's style drastically changed overnight was when his sister died#i think percy is also WAY too attuned to Nico in general when it comes to his own mental health#I think he immediately jumps the gun on ANYTHING NIco is involved with (hence him immediately arguing when Nico assumes wrong)#I think he and Nico have a fucked up weird friendship where they both hate that they need to know each other the way they do#idk. Annabeth and Jason are holding Percy and Nico's leashes while letting them meet in the most controlled of dog parks#Percy bites first but Nico bites harder kinda deal#ANYWAY#pjo#jason grace#nico di angelo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#jasico#percabeth#hoo
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i want so badly to write a fic where renzou finally opens up to koneko and ryuuji about how shitty his childhood was and how their rose-coloured glasses of the past make it impossible for him to ever talk about his feelings and that's why he's never said anything before but UNFORTUNATELY the boy is a compulsive liar who would rather die than lose control over the narrative he's created for himself since childhood so fuck it, shitty contrived situation where he's back into a corner and given no choice
#alas even backed into a corner i think he'd keep lying through his teeth. even cursed to tell the truth he'd weave his way around it#it doesn't matter how self-aware he is about his deficits#they're the only thing he has control over in his life and he'll cling to it until he's dead and even then he'll prolly still won't stop#i love him. he's a mess#if anything it's probably harder for him to be open with them because of how close they are to his family#and how normalized his upbringing was to them. like yeah the shima family is just like That and It's Fine#but it's not fine. not for renzou anyway. but they can't see that because he is a Liar and everyone else is Okay#if it were anyone else they'd say your family shouldn't treat you that way#but for renzou this is how it's always been. so why would they ever think it should be any other way#happy talks blue exorcist#renzou shima#i am. throwing him at walls
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I know it's kinda generic, but idk I think this song fits Sonic in my Cursed Sonic au (Sonic The Night Giant) really well 🦔🌙💜
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Let's just say that the curse not only gives Sonic a new form, but also affects his emotions...
#this isn't going to help sonic's worries about being seen as a monster and putting people in danger...#it's harder for him to control his emotions#including anger 😬#i like angst okay? ><#kinda similar to the werehog again? idk#i remember in unleashed the werehog had a temper#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#Cursed Sonic Au#Sonic the Night Giant#sonic au#sonadow#sth#sonic fanfic#sonic fanfiction#music#Youtube
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mmmmm threads where chiaki's backed into a corner and uses her CT to force-puppeteer sorcerers or curses—
#ooc.#{ like bloodbending vibes. physically overpowering their limbs. YIKES! }#{ YIIIIIKES!! <3 }#{ especially if she loses control of her composure in battle... showing that hidden viciousness that she tries to tamper down/keep in check#always there. always there. }#{ especially after her parents are killed it's so much harder to keep a hold on it jksdhkfuifhbdfs }#{ okay i have to actually go be productive today but hmu on discord for chatting/plotting!! }
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day 2: i can control the car better now but i'm still very clumsy with the steering wheel especially in roundabouts
i was expecting to be really scared while on the road but it's fine actually
#and there's so much i still have to learn#it'll be okay 😌#hopefully#it'll get harder once the instructor stops telling me everything i need to do and lets me have full control of the car 😀#lipa rambles
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nia, r u doing ok??
No.
#funniest ask to receive after my long as fuck analysis of which of my OCs are alcoholics lmao#but on a more serious note#let’s just say that I heavily relate to the this is fine dog rn#everything I spent the entire summer working towards fell apart in one day because of the tiniest mistake and I still haven’t processed it#my life is spiralling out of control and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it#my dad went out of his way to make my workload for the year that much harder for literally no reason#and I’m genuinely reaching the end of my rope#to the point I’m not even sure if I’ll make it to my birthday#but that’s something I am not going to talk about on tumblr of all places#basically. shit’s fucked. I’m fucked. and I continue to overindulge in my obsessions to keep at least some sanity#that’s gonna stop working one day. what the fuck am I gonna do then?#well. that’s for me to find out eventually. maybe. or maybe not#depends if I’ll make it that far#OKAY AND THAT’S ENOUGH RAMBLING FFS NIA SHUT UP AND GO TO THERAPY OR SMTH#you’re scaring everyone#or go eat. or sleep. stop neglecting both of those#but most of all just shut up
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"the real adult world won't be as fun as school" "um actually that shit in highschool won't fly in college" "highschool will get much harder than middle school" But Have We Considered: it might be harder but it gets easier at every level.
#like when you're playing a video game and u don't know the controls at level one but by the time it comes to defeat the final boss its like#okay yeah i know how this works. TECHNICALLY it's harder but practically speaking you have a deep understanding of new skills you accrue#which thus makes it easier every second!!!#plus like a video game: it's okay to fail and respawn and try again. yeah.
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Armand not beating the 'incapable of being without someone' allegations
#the way he switches between the coven and then Louis and now he's turned Daniel#it's interesting bc I was surprised he tried to kill Louis#And still am a bit - I think I need to think on it more#But am not at all surprised about the rapidly shifting allegiances#The grabbing and clinging on to what he had#So interesting#thinking actually about the regaining of control in directing the script - vs the Madeleine Claudia turning#Against his decision#I feel like I need to rewatch it#I wonder when really started turning that way - how involved he was in any of it#I think tbh the confusion feels like a part of it like the memory is a monster thing#And I'm not just like excusing the show here I did feel when I was confused that like#It was okay for me to be confused and unsure#It made the loustat rl scene hit even harder as well bc it was very like. At the end of the day This Did Happen.#Excited to see devils minion flashbacks also
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#job's been sucking life out life out of me and it's getting harder and harder to go there and do the amount#of work that you know you're getting very underpaid for but you have no choice at the moment too so. 🥴🥴🥴#i hate this job at this point i can not imagine how people work their whole life on one job they hate they are so strong in every way#meanwhile my mental health is crumbling each shift i take haah 🙃#it wasn't good to begin with but my anxiety now is just a whole new level#i NEED to record on my phone the moment i lock the entry doors at the end of my shift#and i try to memorize the sound of the key turning in the keyhole as if video record isn't enough#i feel like my ocd is resurfacing badly i thought i had it more or less under control before i took the job#how wrong i was 😭😭😭#i just want to snuggle in bed and not leave the house for at least a week or two just to revitalize my social battery and will to#interact with people irl 🤡#okay one good moment tho there was a girl so beautiful today 🥺 that i couldn't keep it to myself and said to her how beautiful she was 🙈#and she said i was too 😭 i legit felt so shy to look at her that pretty she was and she had a cool neck tattoo 😳🥺#moments like these help me get through the day 😭#tbd
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WOOOOOO. yet another GREAT. would that be fucked up or WHAT eps. soft ball line from sisko 'maybe in a strange sort of way he was trying to be a hero' HMM KAY well hes dying infront of you and his conciousness and sentinient are clearly REAL TO HIM.
#some shit#trek watch#NOT a bad ending cause the WHOLE point is hes the only one who knows hes alive#Just facsinating on points they will hit harder later in this show AND. ON VOY. my god.#wanna flag this as an ep to have turtle trek feelings about too BUT THATS ALMOST TOO MEAN. my god.#cause established flagging for L. to watch dnine with R. for angst arc. AND project on L. just thought controlling problems. U_U#ORRRR. D. who has had his brain scanned by aliens.#alas. old addage. the turtle angst call is coming from inside the house.#ohhhhh fuck season 7 this also happens to M. WOW. okay. Much to think about.
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🙂👍
#speculation nation#nothin like a lil panic at 2 am to keep me youthful#im... gonna need to make a call tomorrow.#some not great feelings and Not great timing. but. i'll just see what they say tomorrow.#negative/#keeping this vague bc. lol.#im just trying to keep the panic in control. the similarities to some past stuff is just Really making this harder.#ah trauma. gotta love it.#im making mac n cheese. and i dont work tomorrow. whatever ends up happening lol#i'll be okay.
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the thing about mass effect 3 is that if they’d just ended it with Shepard and Anderson sitting side by side and then it choosing your ending for you based on how many war assets you had, people wouldn’t have been half as pissed as they were
#like sure some still would have been mad but I think people would have been mad no matter the ending#simply because no ending could ever match up to the one people write in their heads#but like fundamentally. the problem with me3’s ending is that you Have your big emotional climax with Anderson#you beat the illusive man. Anderson dies. and then you have to Keep Going after that#(like. as much as I do kind of love the way Shepard gives fucking Everything in that moment and is beaten all to shit and yet Still Gets Up.#in execution it leaves a little to be desired.)#so like you’re fresh off the high of the illusive man/Anderson confrontation and they hit you with boom random starchild. exposition dump.#like the fact that there are those three (technically four) endings to me3? not really that big of a deal. should they be more nuanced? yes.#but come on. EA. it was never happening.#so like. without adding anything to the endings themselves. if you took away that final choice. if you emphasized them being Results.#I think that would fix a lot of things.#(also personal note but I’d reorder them by war assets needed. with control requiring the least. synthesis in the middle.#destroy needing the most. with destroy + Shepard living requiring All You Can Get.#just to drive home like. this was the goal. you are here to destroy the reapers. if you can’t get enough power to do so?#you will become like the illusive man. like saren. you will wield a power you do not understand and leave the ending in suspense of whether#Shepard is really the one in control. but with destroy? that’s it. you fucking did it. you won. take a nap Shepard. you won.)#(and okay I said no adding anything but final final note? if you get the Most War Asssets? edi & the geth should live.#like. okay listen. renegade playthrough should be able to get the war assets needed for Destroy + Shepard living easy.#but paragon should be harder. should take work. you can get there but you’ll struggle to remain true to your code. right?#but it is also only paragon that should be able to get those extra bits of war assets that allow for the Geth + EDI living ending.#because a renegade Shepard wouldn’t share that goal. they are ruthless. they win and they got the job done and the cost was worth it.#paragon is no man left behind. idk I’m rambling. I just wanted edi & the geth to live. I think it spits in the face of the whole point#of the geth & quarian part of me3 that the geth don’t survive destroy. like. god maybe give Shepard an option to go ‘hey legion implanting#every geth with reaper tech seems sketchy? you sure about that?’ like we could have at least had that lmao. idk. idk.#I guess that’s what synthesis is. going for? kind of? but then it misses the mark by nullifying the conflict of organica and synthetics that#makes their chosen cooperation so meaningful to begin with.)#okay nooow I’m done I swear. sorry. I’m tired.#mass effect
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my mom after i tell her im nervous to go go-karting because idk how to drive: you play video games you'll be fine
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I get kindergartners in my after school program, and they ask “Is this real or pretend?” quite often. And you know what? I answer them honestly, because otherwise all the info they are trying to cram into your head in school would get so confusing. 😂😅
I will say there are grey areas. What happens after death. Does Santa Claus and or fairies exist.
For these I simply say, “I don’t know for sure, but some people believe (x).” And then we change topics. 😅
Those kiddos gonna catch me off guard one day and that will be MEMORABLE. 🤣
as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine
#real vs pretend#'the moon controls the tides' but everyone laughs when i say dragons are real. okay. whatever#it’s hard to explain things to kids without being an ass#it is harder to be said kid 😅#I never ever blame anyone for not knowing a thing#with all this misinformation and confusion out here? forget about it
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More screenshots (bonus, managed to find Bull a shirt and don't know how to feel about that)
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#anyway i continue to Lavellan post because i did some stuff and I'm tired now anyway. thinking about the beginning of the game and#how he's mostly leaning into the herald bullshit because he thinks it'll help him belong here and make people like him and how#devastatingly it's going to hit him after in your heart shall burn (I'm basically leaning into it as much as#possible without establishing him as faithful since it's more difficult to make Leliana pope that way but in my head#he took every 'yeah I'm herald I'm heralding so much andraste right now' option besides one with cass and one with Leliana)#like. he doesn't even really believe it but most people either like hearing it or if they react negatively it's in a way that still#acknowledges him as in charge so he'll roll with that. but then. everything in YHTB happens and it's just like. Oh. Oh Shit. like#it was this mix of bullshitting for fun and saying what people wanted to hear and kind of believing that maybe he was chosen by#Something at least. and like. it's not like he didn't do anything on his own or at least without any special abilities but then#The classic seeing all that be swept aside. realizing how this is going to be remembered because it's already happening. maybe#he should have known that the second he was asked if there was room for more among his gods.#but then. what do you expect. his first memory is being discarded (that's not entirely what it was but that's how his child brain#precessed it) and practically going feral because of it and then. having So Much catching up to do when it came to. basically every#aspect of being a person#and like. he was accepted along with Rella but that still gets to you. especially since. sure he didn't fully understand what it means to#be pitied but he could still recognize that from others. could still want to prove he was Better Than That. could still want to shatter tha#sheet of glass between himself and seemingly everyone else (even Rella to be honest. if only because she almost left him behind too). how#would he not lean into being seen as something special. whether he fully believed the narrative others were spinning or not#i dunno i see a lot of people talking about their Lavellan pushing back against the narrative from the start but i kind of like the#idea of going along with it. thinking it won't get that far and surely he can correct it if it does. he's in charge after all. right? only#to get hit harder than an avalanche by the realization that he's not in control after all. he can direct as many forces as he wants#but he can't change how he'll be remembered. how he's already being remembered. and he contributed to it too? i dunno his specific#combination of pride and insecurity and need to just Belong. to just belong as himself. is. compelling#If anyone is reading this Ive seen posts about all Lavellans having the same personality but no one's elaborated? am i just doing that?#i actually want to know. you know. assuming anyone is reading this.#i dunno just thinking about his continuous need to prove himself for so many reasons (partially because of Rella too since#yeah Rella is a mage but not the first or anything. she's just there because people knew she had nowhere else to go). okay I'll shut up now#but yeah what is this Standard Lavellan Personality i keep hearing about?#original posts#but like. something something he's being discarded again but he understands it this time and he can't fight it and just
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