#destroy needing the most. with destroy + Shepard living requiring All You Can Get.

[quietwingsinthesky]

the thing about mass effect 3 is that if they’d just ended it with Shepard and Anderson sitting side by side and then it choosing your ending for you based on how many war assets you had, people wouldn’t have been half as pissed as they were

[thelostgirl21]

For those of you still arguing that Kaidan does not outrank Shepard as an Alliance Officer during the Citadel Coup...

...he does.

Actually, being a Staff Commander in ME2, Kaidan Alenko was already outranking Shepard when they met on Horizon.

First, it is important to understand that, while inspired by it, the Human Systems Alliance does not use the exact same ranking system as the U.S. Navy / Marines. [Edit: I've fixed some (hopefully, most!) of the "he/him/himself" pronouns I'd missed the first time around... And that was... like... 90% of the time I was referring to Shepard. *Facepalms* Sorry about that! I'm so used to writing for M!Shep, that I instinctively say "he/him/himself" when referring to them (and my brain does the weird French thing of including the feminine into the masculine while proofreading, apparently!). If you still spot a non gender-neutral pronoun in there, please feel free to let me know.]

Therefore, according to the System’s Alliance’s own ranking system (that can be found in the game’s codex entries; I’ve also added that information at the bottom of this post, with in-game examples) the rank of Major (and, in ME2, Staff Commander) is above that of a Lieutenant Commander (Shepard’s own Alliance military rank) within the Alliance.

It is the rank of an Alliance Captain (Navy), not that of an Alliance [Lieutenant] Commander (Navy & Marines), that is considered as being the equivalent of that of an Alliance Major (Marines).

Meaning that, by the beginning of ME3, Major Alenko has now risen through the ranks to the point where he holds a similar level of responsibility within the Systems Alliance as Captain Anderson used to hold in ME1. At the very beginning of ME1, Captain Anderson was a Navy Captain, and the Commanding Officer (C.O.) of the SSV Normandy.

Lieutenant Commander Shepard was his Executive Officer (X.O.).

And Staff Lieutenant Alenko was head of the ship's Marine detail*

By the beginning of ME3, Major Alenko is now a Marine Major, and the Commanding Officer (C.O.) of the 1st Special Operations Biotic Company, a covert operations unit of the Systems Alliance.

*Note: I just discovered yesterday what “Marine detail” means, and I just have to say Kaidan’s position on the Normandy is ridiculously cool! 

Basically, it’s Kaidan’s job to determine which personnel position, assignment, or duty station each Marine should have on the Normandy.  While basing his decisions on the person’s professional milestones, taking into consideration the Marine’s personal aspirations and stated preferences, considering their marital status / family lives and responsibilities outside of the military, evaluating whether they have the proper qualifications for the job or require further training, looking at performance reviews...

They are described as the Marine’s “advocate”, trying to make sure that not only are they the “best Marine” for what their actual job requires, but that it’s the job that will bring said Marine the greater level of work satisfaction / align with their needs and personal ambitions.

So basically, after Jenkins was KIA at the beginning of ME1, it was Kaidan’s job to find a suitable replacement to take over his duties on the ship.

So, after Shepard wakes up in the medbay, and expresses that they’re glad that Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams was still on the Normandy, because she’s a good soldier that deserves it, and Captain Anderson answers them: “Lieutenant Alenko agrees with you.  THAT’S WHY I added her to our crew.”

He literally means “After seeing her in action, Lieutenant Alenko reviewed her file, checked her qualifications, past performance reviews, family status, her documented professional aspirations and stated preferences, numerous past (denied) applications for a transfer to a shipboard posting, and based on his very own assessment of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, determined that she was the single best Marine in the System’s Alliance for the open position we now had on the ship.”

I’d always assumed that Kaidan had more or less informally gone “Gunnery Chief Williams was really impressive down there!  Maybe we could use her!”

And Captain Anderson had essentially gone: “Sure!  Why not?  We’ve got an open position.  Let’s keep her!”

But I’d all but forgotten that, with Nihlus dead, there was absolutely no Spectre on board that ship at that point in the story, and they were thus likely bound by the System’s Alliance rules and protocols when it came to handing out assignments to fill the vacant positions available on the Normandy.

It’s therefore highly likely that whoever was in charge of the ship’s Marine detail (in this case, Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko), would have had access to a list of applications of suitable candidates that had expressed an interest in serving on that ship.

And that, whenever there was a position vacancy, or a need to add a new position on the Normandy, then the head of the ship’s detail would have the responsibility of taking a good look at those candidatures, and selecting the very best suited Marine for the job.

As a Spectre, Commander Shepard might have had the level of authority required to spontaneously go: “they followed me home, I’m keeping them!”

But Captain Anderson most certainly did not. And, while he was the Normandy’s C.O. (meaning that he’d likely have the final say on whether or not Ashley got the position)...

Well, the person  officially in charge of finding someone to fill the position left vacant after Jenkin’s passing - after having carefully reviewed Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams candidature against those of other potentially qualified System’s Alliance soldiers - was literally Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko.

And one would assume that the reason why Kaidan got his own position as head of the ship’s Marine detail, would be because he’d be considered as being very proficient at determining whether or not a given soldier is going to be the right fit for their job, and the best asset for their team.

So, when Captain Anderson tells Shepard that the reason he added her to the crew was because Lieutenant Alenko believed she was a good soldier that deserved a position on the Alliance’s most advanced starship, that was because it was Kaidan’s job to make such decisions.

He had to choose which Marine in the System’s Alliance would take over Jenkin’s duties, and he chose Ash.  Kaidan’s the reason Ashley was assigned to Captain Anderson (and later, Commander Shepard)’s ship.  He’s the one that made it happen and allowed her to advance in her career.

Should Commander Shepard have tried to do the same (i.e. be the one to request Gunnery Chief Williams assignation to the Normandy, in a context where Ashley wouldn’t already have been added to the team while they were out cold); then Captain Anderson’s most likely answer would have needed to be: “I’ll let Lieutenant Alenko know about your commendation, but he’s not done reviewing candidatures and making his choice among them yet.“

I don’t understand how anyone can call Kaidan “boring”. He's such a layered, fascinating character...

As he once told Shepard:

“I’m an enigma. I’ve got skills.”

Yes, yes you do... and, over 10 years later, I’m still discovering some skill-sets that you have that I’d never even suspected before!

And boy, am I pissed we'll never get to know about your run in with the vorcha mafia, five thousand credits, and a bottle of whiskey!

Still, no wonder Anderson was so adamant on Major Alenko being the one offered the Command of the 1st Special Operations Biotic Company.

Besides his very own unique history as a L2 and ability to relate to those kids, he apparently has an eye for military talents, and he likely trusted him to be a very good judge of character when it came to assessing whether those young biotics would be a good addition to the Company, and able to handle working with the rest of a team while on high risk missions without needlessly further endangering their teammates.

However, as a Spectre, when operating under Council authority, both Commander Shepard and Major Alenko are no longer bound by the Alliance military’s chain of command.

And it seems that most players do not realize it, but when Captain Anderson stepped down as the SSV Normandy’s C.O., Shepard did not receive a promotion within the Alliance military in terms of overall rank; but exclusively one regarding their position in regards to their assignment.

They went from being the ship’s Executive Officer (X.O.) to the ship’s Commanding Officer (C.O.), but they still remained an Alliance Lieutenant Commander, regardless of the position they held on the SSV Normandy itself.

I’m thus guessing that Shepard dying so shortly after the Battle of the Citadel, had prevented them from being promoted to the rank of Staff Commander (or even Captain / Major).

And then, in all of the investigations surrounding their claims of having been dead for 2 years, brought back to life through Cerberus technology, the time they spend working with them to hunt down the Collectors, Shepard destroying a batarian system (Arrival), the time they spent in detention between ME2 and ME3 after having been stripped of their rank, etc.  Well, I’m guessing the Systems Alliance never thought to offer them a promotion, either.

At the beginning of ME3, the Normandy SR-2 has been recovered by the Alliance, and is intended to be used by Admiral Anderson (who would have become the SR-2′s Commanding Officer).

With Earth and the Alliance Headquarters under Reapers attack, Admiral Anderson chooses to reinstate Commander Shepard’s rank as a Lieutenant Commander within the Systems Alliance instead, and puts them in charge of his ship (thus, stepping down, once more, as the Normandy’s C.O. in favor of Commander Shepard).

Therefore yes, Commander Shepard is not as highly ranked an Alliance Officer as Major Kaidan Alenko is. However, they were given an assignment as the Commanding Officer of the Normandy SR-2 by Admiral Anderson.

Meaning that, after the Citadel Coup, when Commander Shepard offers Major Alenko a position among the Normandy SR-2′s crew, accepting that position means agreeing to recognize, and respect, Shepard’s authority as the ship’s C.O. as well.

Regardless of Kaidan technically becoming the highest ranking Systems Alliance Officer on board the Normandy SR-2, the position as the Normandy’s C.O. was given to Commander Shepard by Admiral Anderson.

So, if Major Alenko has a problem working under the authority of a lesser ranked officer as part of a Lieutenant Commander’s crew, then it is his responsibility to either refuse the offer and request another assignment (something that Kaidan can do in the game, actually - he can be the one to turn down Shepard’s offer), or take it up with Admiral Anderson, to try to request a change in leardership.

What I also find particularly interesting, with how those scenes play out, is that in both versions where Kaidan doesn’t join the Normandy’s crew, he shakes Shepard’s hand, but does not salute them.

Otherwise, after the handshake, when Shepard tells him “Welcome aboard, Major”, Kaidan straightens up and tells them “Aye aye, sir / ma’am” with a military salute, therefore acknowledging Shepard’s position as his new C.O.

Essentially, Major Kaidan Alenko is not bound by rank to obey Commander Shepard’s orders or accept to serve on their ship...

It is only once he CHOOSES to join the Normandy’s crew and take that offered position that there is this obligation for him to respect that Commander Shepard is the acting C.O. of the Normandy, and that they report directly to Admirals Anderson and Hackett.

As a Spectre, they report directly to the Citadel Council.

And so does Kaidan.  I’m guessing that, should he ever wish to leave the Normandy, he’s got the required authority to do so, and would simply need to ask Admiral Anderson or Admiral Hackett for a new assignment.

He may discuss his decision with Commander Shepard first, out of respect.  But I doubt that Commander Shepard could try to force him to stay and continue to work under the Command of a lesser ranked Alliance officer if he wished to leave the ship.

The only known people that could deny his request for a transfer within the Alliance would be either Anderson or Hackett.

And, as a Spectre, he could very well go “yeah, screw this!  I’m out!”

So yeah, his being willing to take orders from Commander Shepard, and join the Normandy as a member of his crew regardless of him being a higher ranked officer in the Systems Alliance, only highlight the amount of trust and respect he has in Commander Shepard’s abilities and leadership.

Knowing Kaidan, he likely values Commander Shepard as his C.O. based on the man’s actual military, leadership, combat qualifications and training, rather than rank.  Not to mention his ability to recognize their more personal, human qualities, how much they care for their crew, and Kaidan’s own willingness to help them share the burden that’s been put on their shoulders.

I think that, in order to gain Kaidan’s respect and have him gladly follow you, you need to use the power you’ve been given by whatever position or status you hold for the benefit of those serving under you, and/or those under your responsibility, rather than try to dominate and overpower others with it.

Kaidan won’t hesitate to call Udina “a bastard” for what he perceives as him “selling them out”, express dissent when a superior officer is out of line, question the motives of those in charge, and often flirt with insubordination.

He’s one of the most NEUTRAL good characters of the series - letting his integrity dictate his actions first and foremost, rather than being strictly and rigidly bound by ranks, rules, or protocols.

His main source of worry, when it comes to Shepard potentially cutting corners, appears to be the price that THEY may have to pay in the aftermath.

He seems more concerned about the Council or the Alliance openly using Shepard as a scapegoat if things go south, and/or disavowing their actions and leaving them without support, rather than over Shepard themselves breaking the law in such a way that they would make innocent people suffer.

I've always seen him as trying to make Shepard understand that they won't let them go down alone with the ship, figuratively (and perhaps event literally speaking... He sure tried in ME2 until Shepard reminded him that the rest of the crew were also in need of his assistance and counting on them to keep them safe) and share the responsibility of the decisions Shepard makes as long as he also supports them.

And yeah, Kaidan did put his own happiness first when it came to breaking the rules of fraternization.

He even says that the galaxy will just keep going and the only thing that will never happen again is them. And that they are what's most important in that moment.

If it wasn't for how very lucidly attached to the Alliance he is (he sees the flaws, but still considers that the Alliance does more good than harm overall, and is proud of being an Alliance soldier / officer), I'd almost have been tempted to put him into chaotic good territory.

He's dedicated to "doing what's right" (the principle of goodness itself) and acting with integrity, but not so much to "honoring human / citadel laws" or even moral codes per say.

His moral code is very much about remaining true to your own ideals and who you are in a way that promotes the greater good, and allows you to be at peace with your actions. And he's seen constantly questioning his perspective of good and wrong in the world, and adapting what acting with integrity truly means to him (for example, when he was trying to come to terms with the fact that Cerberus scientists could also be good people).

So, I very much consider him someone that is more Neutral (chaotic leaning) good, than Neutral (lawful leaning) good.

Rules and institutions need to make sense and serve a useful purpose to him, and avoid getting in the way of him doing what he believes to be right according to his own personal moral compass that no one dictates him but himself. Otherwise, screw the rules!

It may also be good to remember that Spectres have absolutely no command structure.  To prove themselves to the Council, they have to demonstrate both exceptional abilities and self-reliance.  If they thought that Major Kaidan Alenko would be the type to defer to Commander Shepard’s judgment based on seniority and rank alone, I’m guessing the Council never would have agreed to grant him Spectre status in the first place.

Yeah, Councillor Udina was the one that submitted his candidature, but he couldn’t have actually granted him Spectre status without the Asari, Turian, and Salarian Councillors’ approval.

Meaning that they all saw something in his service history that made them go “Yeah, this is a guy that can totally go rogue, disrespect orders, and do whatever must be done for the sake of the greater good of the galactic community if need be.”

People that see him as some sort of “whiny, Alliance lapdog” seem to forget that  we are talking about a 17-year-old kid that continuously got in trouble with Vyrnnus for talking back (to the point where he started punishing the other kids to get to him), found a way to hack communications on the station to secretly contact his parents on Earth, after having been explicitly forbidden to do so, and angrily stood up to Vyrnnus after Vyrnnus crossed a line while bullying more vulnerable than himself.

Commander Vyrnnus taught Kaidan that some would-be leaders only cared about holding power over others, and were not worthy of being respected nor followed.

Major Alenko simply is not someone that can easily be intimidated into obeying orders, and/or be impressed by power or rank.  What will make him “fall in line”, is the belief that the one giving the orders is the very best suited person for the job.

So, when it all come down to it, I’m pretty convinced that he could care less about Shepard “only being a Lieutenant Commander”.

He cares about Shepard doing the right thing, and about being able to trust their leadership and intents more than anything.

And, while Kaidan Alenko may have all the required qualifications and abilities to handle his own command, too...

...this is not what makes him the happiest.

He’s a soldier.  He likes getting his hands dirty.  He likes being right in the center of the action, and making a tangible difference.

My own partner, whose personality often reminds me of Kaidan (or, actually, Kaidan’s personality often reminds me of him!), has been offered countless of times the job of a team supervisor or coordinator in his work as a computer programmer (systems architect).

Sure, it would come with a salary increase and some advantages...

And sure, he’s a rather assertive guy, with a talent for seeing the greater picture, quickly noticing people’s own individual strengths and resources in a team, finding ways to take full advantage of said strengths and resources while organizing the work to complement every skill-sets they have, and thinking about creative solutions to a problem that others might be missing...

But what he loves most about his work is the coding itself.

He’ll gladly offer his input (actually, nothing you do or say will stop him from voicing his opinions, suggestions, and solutions to an issue...  especially if he thinks you’re being inefficient in the way you’re approaching it, and/or overlooking some variables), but the thought of actually being in charge of the whole working team all the frakking time, and having to manage complaints, conflicts, etc. - when his time would better be used in front of the computer, figuring out why something isn’t working properly - is enough to drive him insane.

He has everything it takes to be a good, efficient, more than qualified supervisor and coordinator...

...except the interest and motivation.

The things that make him happiest at the work he does, lie within the programming itself.

Similarly, I very much perceive Kaidan Alenko as being someone that has every required qualifications, skills, and abilities to be in Command of his own ship or his own squad...

...but typically prefers being a soldier, getting out there in the field and doing his work without having to handle what everyone else has to be doing on top of it.

He made an exception for Admiral Anderson by indulging him, and eventually agreeing to assume Command of the 1st Special Operations Biotic Company.  And, from the way he speaks about his students, it seems that the nature of his job, and his ability to connect with what they are going through and nurture their potential as soldiers, fellow “freaks”, and human beings, ended up making that command worthwhile and an overall positive and stimulating experience for him.

This is one of the many reasons why I lament the lack of interaction between Kaidan and Jack.  They are both powerful biotics that were abused in the hopes of getting results and making their powers stronger.  They both share a deep seated hatred of Cerberus.  And they both ended up becoming teachers and mentors to younger generations of human biotics.

Beyond the potential for humor and entertainment, I think it would have been interesting to see how they might have related to each other, talked about their students, shared a few tips, etc.

But otherwise, Kaidan seems to be happiest while doing his own thing (ex: being sent to investigate certain situations for the Alliance / Council), or serving on a ship while using his skills to offer his support to his Commander, rather than being the one in charge of everybody else.

Given how he tends to be more task than ego oriented, I therefore really don’t think that he has any issues following the leadership of a Lieutenant Commander regardless of his own rank.

As long as he can trust Shepard to be a good leader and get things done, he’ll gladly let them assume command.

But during the attack on the Citadel, Commander Shepard is not Major Alenko’s C.O., as Admiral Anderson never officially assigned him to the Normandy, and after they left Earth in a hurry and headed for Mars to retrieve data, he ended up in the hospital.

If we want to argue that Major Kaidan Alenko was showing any kind of disrespect towards Commander Shepard by refusing to stand down in front of a superior officer during the Citadel coup (an argument that’s occasionally been brought up by those that highly disapprove of the confrontation)...

Well, I hate to break this to you, but per Systems Alliance military protocol, Shepard should have been the one to salute Kaidan, not the other way around.

But it simply doesn’t matter either way.

Because that confrontation was not an “Alliance Lieutenant Commander vs Alliance Major” issue.

This was very much “Spectre vs Spectre” issue.

You simply had two highly trained, experienced, and dangerous Spectre operatives that were interacting on absolutely equal footing, outside of the Alliance’s chain of command.

And they both had the exact same objective: Protect the council from Cerberus.

In the end, it all boils down to trust.  And to whether or not Commander Shepard has the required empathy to understand that Kaidan Alenko has every right to be human, to have doubts, to question people’s motives - regardless of how much he loves them - and to be scared to make mistakes based on his personal feelings towards them.

Kaidan (and Ashley) have the most realistic, healthy, and human reactions that one could possibly have to someone being brought back from the dead by a terrorist organization.

On Mars, he wasn’t trying to attack or hurt Shepard.

What he clearly told them was “I’m confused, I’m scared, I do want to trust you, but I don’t know how.  I’ve seen some of the abject horrors of what Cerberus is capable of doing, and the thought that they might have been using you, or are still planning to use you, against the rest of the Galaxy terrifies me.  I need to know it’s really you - that you haven’t been cloned, brainwashed, or they didn’t plant a chip in your head or something -  and I’m at a loss at where to even start.”

(I’m thinking that should they have discovered that Shepard had been altered in some way and/or was being manipulated by Cerberus, but was still in there somewhere, then Kaidan would have wanted to do anything he could to help free them from Cerberus’ grasp, too.)

And he has every right to feel that way, to be afraid, to be concerned, and to express it.

Actually no one owes any of their friends their “blind trust”.

If someone I strongly care about is doing something stupid or I disagree with, I fully reserve the right to oppose their actions and let them know I’m not on board with it.

I can trust that they are a good person and believe in them.  But I can also occasionally distrust their judgment and whether the decisions they are making are the right ones.

So by openly verbalizing his fears and doubts, what Kaidan is actually doing is letting Shepard in.  He’s reaching out for that connection they share, not shutting them down.

He’s almost desperate to try to explain to them how he feels, so they can open the dialogue and start figuring these things out together, rather than remaining alone in their little corner while allowing those fears and doubts to fester and take root.

If Shepard is able to understand that.  If they can reach back towards Kaidan, show interest in getting to know each other again, rebuild trust, and work through those issues, then as I’ve already demonstrated a little while ago, getting Kaidan to stand down is so ridiculously easy it’s almost laughable.

If they do cut themselves off from Kaidan following Mars, and never reach back towards him, then they are allowing all those doubts and fears to keep on growing...  thus leading to tragedy during the coup.

But yeah, anyone reasonably expecting Kaidan to just step aside the moment those doors opened (when he was fully expecting to see Cerberus operatives come out of the elevator shaft) - especially based on supposed “higher ranked offircer superiority” - is having utterly unrealistic expectations regarding Major Alenko’s personality and behavior.

Either they were too quick to dismiss him as whiny and boring, and thus kept him out out of every mission, skipped conversations, and/or quickly rushed through them without really listening and seeking to understand the character...

They are unable to perceive videogame characters as well-rounded people, but are rather exclusively seeking to immerse themselves in some fantasy world where every single person they encounter either automatically adores them or fears their superior power and influence; and those characters are something that should solely exist for their own entertainment (unlike reality, where they can more easily recognize that each of their friends have personal aspirations, opinions, thoughts, careers and dreams that exist entirely outside of themselves; and they never would realistically expect one of said friends to “drop everything” they are doing on the fly in order to blindly follow them into a private jet that’s being borrowed from a well-known right-wing terrorists organization instead).

Or, they literally have a God complex.

----------

Systems Alliance: Military Ranks (Mass Effect)

The Alliance uses a modified version of the ranking system that has been used for hundreds of years. Soldiers are classified into rank-and-file enlisted personal, experienced non-commissioned officers (NCOs), and specially trained officers.

The divide between naval personnel and ground forces (“marines”) is small. Ground units are a specialized branch of the fleet, just as fighter squadrons are. This unity of command is imposed by the futility of fighting without control of orbit; without the navy, any army is pointless. The marines, as a matter of pride, maintain some of their traditional rank titles; for example, marines have Privates and Corporals instead of Servicemen.

In ascending order of responsibility, the ranks of the Alliance are:

ENLISTED

Serviceman 3rd Class/Private 2nd Class

Serviceman 2nd Class/Private 1st Class

Serviceman 1st Class/Corporal

NCOs

Service Chief

Gunnery Chief [ex: Gunnery Chief Williams (ME1)]

Operations Chief [ex: Operations Chief Williams (ME2)]

OFFICERS

2nd Lieutenant

1st Lieutenant

Staff Lieutenant [ex: Lieutenant Alenko (ME1)]

Lieutenant Commander [ex: Commander Shepard (ME1, ME2, ME3),  Commander Williams (ME3)]

Staff Commander [ex: Commander Alenko (ME2)]

Captain/Major [ex: Major Alenko (ME3); Captain Anderson (ME1)]

Rear Admiral/General [ex: Admiral Hackett (ME1)]

Admiral [ex: Admiral Hacket (ME2), Admiral Anderson (ME3)]

Fleet Admiral [ex: Admiral Hackett (ME3)]

[catherdrashepard]

Darrow is Not Going to Die at the End of the Series Part 2

There are probably going to be at least one or two more parts depending on how much I can stop myself from blathering on. Anyway, spoilers ahead for the following: Dark Age, Hunger Games, Castlevania, Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans, Avengers Endgame, The Hobbit, Voltron, FMA, HttYD, Death Note, Madoka Magica, Merlin, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, HunterxHunter, Dragon Prince, He-Man (the new one), Yu Yu Hakusho, Persona 3. Mass Effect, The Hollow, Camp Cretaceous, and whatever else I can think of.

I last left off on talking about how my thoughts implied that Darrow could die at the end as long all the loose ends are tied. But, I don’t think that that’s really something that can actually happen. A lot of this is speculation on my part and really relies on what happens during the 6th book.

The first thing that came to mind was Mass Effect. The ending of Mass Effect 3 was...not very well received. I’m not going to say that I’m particularly happy with it either but I also think it fits the narrative. However, one thing to note, video games are different than books and the story that Shepard goes through is reliant on the player. Also, stories in games are going to be shorter than stories in books (for the most part, there are definitely exceptions) due to player involvement.

I’m going to start with Shepard’s first death, at the beginning of Mass Effect 2. Of course, being the second game, their death couldn’t be permanent unless BioWare switched protagonists mid trilogy. There are a few reasons, in my opinion, that Shepard was killed during the opening credits of the second game.

First of all, the combat changed between games (a lot between the first and second and only slightly between second and third), and I think Shepard’s two year absence gave a reason for a tutorial on the new combat system. They were dead and had to learn how to use new technology. This is also done between the second and third games, with a 6 month gap, but the combat only changed slightly. Secondly, having the main protagonist die really highlights the threat that the player is dealing with in the second game but, Shepard’s return also shows that they still have unfinished business and that their story isn’t over. Thirdly, I think the absence gives time for the secondary characters time to develop on their own. This is shown more with the characters who appeared in the first game but also it gives an idea of just how much of an impact Shepard had. I feel like this is a parallel to the time Darrow spent in the table between GS and MS.

Now to move on to Shepard’s more permanent death...although if you complete the game entirely (at least in the legendary edition; thank goodness I hated the battle readiness thing) there is a dubious ending where Shepard may or may not have lived. But in any case, Shepard is considered dead and their story is over. Whatever my feelings about this may be, this type of ending didn’t come out of nowhere. The main threat, the Reapers, have been dealt with in a permanent manner, or at least it’s heavily implied that they won’t be coming back. However, just because the Reapers are gone doesn’t mean there aren’t still things to be done. Specifically, recovery. Shepard very well could have been involved in this but it’s not necessary. Their story is over, they have dealt with the threat and it’s not coming back.

Darrow, on the other hand, has not finished his mission. Even if he does by the end of the next book, however, it’s a very different circumstance from Shepard. The threat in Mass Effect was a very large and tangible thing, whereas the problem Darrow faces is an ideology and the people who hold those views. Something like that doesn’t end with a large space weapon pointed directly at the threat; it permeates everything. So even if Darrow defeats Atalantia, Lysander, and whoever else, there’s most likely going to be more people who shared belief that Golds are best. Also, we saw how the Vox Populi felt about the things Darrow was doing. Darrow is essentially reconstructing an entire system of government and, no matter how correct Darrow is, there will always be people who disagree with him.

Assuming Darrow defeats the remnants of the Society, stops the Ascomanni, deals with Quicksilver and whatever he’s doing, takes care of Atlas, handles Apple, what’s left? Much like with the end of Mass Effect, what’s left is recovery. The difference between these two, however, is that while Shepard was not necessarily needed for the rebuilding, Darrow would be.

Now, both Shepard and Darrow spearheaded their respective causes, but (and this relies heavily on how the sixth RR book goes) defeating the Reapers was a group effort, utilising every species and as many resources as they can spare. No doubt the rebuilding of the entire galaxy will require the same. Not that Darrow’s goal hasn’t been similar in that regards, with the help of so many different Colors being necessary. It’s just....Darrow’s circle feels a lot smaller than Shepard’s.

I mean, obviously being the face of a war is going to get you a lot supporters and people to work with, but the most important players are Darrow’s close friends and family. I’m sure part of this is the fact that the books are first person with specific POVs. Mass Effect does focus on Shepard’s story, but it’s in third person and you get a lot of different information through sidequests and talking to other characters. I mean, there’s a whole codex in Mass Effect with a lot of information and there isn’t one for RR (PB should make one tho). Our knowledge of the universe and its history is more limited in RR than Mass Effect, but I think that’s mostly because the lore in Mass Effect has more of a direct impact on how the story goes.

But back to the original point, it’s explicitly shown in Mass Effect that it requires everyone to stop the Reapers. And even though we see Darrow’s army, the main players, the ones who are taking care of the big things, are still Darrow’s inner circle. As an example, Mass Effect would be more like a pyramid (ironic) where Shepard is at the top. Even if it crumbles away (they die), the pyramid will still stand. For RR, it feels more like a chain. If one of the links (Darrow) breaks, then the chain is also broken. You could re-attach the pieces but it wouldn’t be as strong as it once was.

One last thing I wanted to bring up (which I will bring up again in part 4, yes I said part 4), is technology. Both Mass Effect and RR take place in the future and therefore have better technology than we do. There is something very important about this technology though that makes it more likely for Darrow to live. The Reapers are a race of sentient squid machines hellbent on the genocide of every other sentient species in the galaxy. But they are the ONLY things with access to that kind of technology. Even when they share it with Saren or the Collectors, it’s not something others can replicate. And once they’re destroyed (control ending notwithstanding) at the end of the third game, that’s it. They could still have people who are indoctrinated (although I think that stops when the Reapers were destroyed?) or people who are just stupid and think they were right, but...those people aren’t a threat. They can’t bring back the Reapers, I doubt anyone would be able to recreate such a thing (at least not within Shepard’s lifetime even if they did live). So once the Reapers were gone...that’s it.

Now, the technology in RR is, for the most part, accessible to everyone. Assuming Darrow defeats Atalantia, Lysander, etc. their way of thinking would still be around. But with the way the universe works, I think it would entirely possible for supporters of the Society to rise up and start a conflict all over again. This means Darrow is not finished yet, even if the immediate threats are gone. It wouldn’t make sense for him to die when there’s still stuff for him to do.

I do think, though, that it is worth mentioning that the definite ending of Mass Effect is probably related to the fact that it’s a video game and especially for stories like that, a more open ended conclusion with the implication that I COULD do more would only be frustrating. With tv shows, movies, and books, I notice, having a more vague ending works better because you’re just separated enough from the story that you can enjoy the implications of more stuff without feeling unsatisfied. There’s always exceptions of course.

ANYWAY, it part 3 I’m going to be talking about Persona 3 and 5 so....stay tuned.

[annoyed-galaxy]

Post-Destroy Ending

I bring from the grave of the beyond a fix-it fic serving up fresh angst and some fluff. Mass Effect destroyed my heart and with that major fucking cliffhanger, I just had to write something. But since there's a lot, I decided to break this up into chapters. Well, who knows how many chapters there will be, but just stick around I'm sure you'll have a great time. My writing is still rusty as hell, but I needed to get SOMETHING out. Anyways enjoy this! It's also on AO3 if you want that link.

Go!

It was the last thing she had ordered when she ran off into the jaws of death. He hated watching her go. Hated seeing her run back towards the beam with Harbinger raining down death. Tali had to tear him away from watching her run, dragging him back into the Normandy.

Garrus was on his fourth bottle of alcohol. The other three bottles were littered across Shepard’s nameplate. He ran his fingers across each letter of her name. It had been a couple weeks and Garrus still refused to put her name on the memorial wall. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. And he sure as hell wasn’t letting someone else do it.

They were still grounded on the uncharted world they had crashed into after the blast from the Citadel. While the Normandy was relatively fine, there were still some repairs that had to be made. There was also the issue with EDI. When the blast caused the Normandy to crash, EDI had suddenly collapsed, no longer functioning. Whatever the blast was, it didn’t kill just the Reapers.

The mass relays were destroyed, comm buoys were in pieces, so communication was very limited. Whatever happened back on Earth, whether people had recovered or not, was not making it to the Normandy anytime soon. The Reapers were defeated, but at what cost?

The door to the lounge opened and Liara sat next to Garrus. She grabbed a bottle of wine and began to pour herself a glass. “How are you feeling?” she asked, taking a sip.

Garrus grumbled to himself. He was drunk, his mind fuzzy and numb. “I’m fine,” he mumbled.

Liara nodded, not buying his story, but knew he hadn’t been okay in a while. “Tali has been working on EDI. She also brought Glyph back. In return, Glyph has been helping Tali with bringing EDI back,” Liara explained, hoping some good news would brighten his mood.

He looked at her, his face plates shifting. Part of him was annoyed that she would bring that up, knowing the possibility of Shepard truly being gone was most likely. But he was happy for Joker at the very least. “That’s good,” he mumbled, returning to his drink.

Liara frowned, worry crossing her face. “Garrus...I know you’re hurting, but...” Liara stopped herself. She didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, Garrus. I know Joker has been talking about trying to make it back to Earth. But with the mass relays out, who knows how long it’ll be until we get there. Communications have been scrambled too.” Liara put a hand on his back. “It’s going to be okay Garrus. I promise.”

He stayed silent. He had nothing to say. He wanted to go back to Earth, back to the Citadel. He wouldn’t put Shepard’s name on the memorial wall until he had seen her cold corpse himself.

After a few minutes of silence, Liara finally decided it would be best to leave the turian to his sulking. She left with comforting parting words.

༻✧༺

“There’s a body over here!”

Her head was pounding. There were noises. Faint. Distant. Her body burned, stung, felt battered and bruised. She was breathing, but it stung. The voices came closer. She could no longer make out words, but she saw blinding lights come into view. She felt a weight lift from her, probably some rubble, and she couldn’t make out any faces. There were just blurred shapes and bright lights.

“Holy shit, it’s Commander Shepard!”

More shapes rushed over to her. Rubble was being dragged off of her. The light began to fade, her breathing slowing. She felt something cover her nose and mouth. Air filled her easily now. Her eyes fluttered shut and the noise faded away.

༻✧༺

“EDI!” Joker cried out as the robot sat up, blinking. He hugged her, tears forming in his eyes.

“Hello, Jeff,” EDI replied, slightly confused. She returned the hug, tentatively patting his back. He moved out of the way, allowing her to stand on her feet. “What happened?” she asked, looking around the room. She was in the AI core, Tali, Liara, and Glyph all stationed behind Joker, watching with held breaths as she was brought back to life.

“The blast from the Citadel took you out,” Joker explained, his arms on her shoulders. “But the Reapers were taken down too. Tali and Glyph have been working day in and day out to bring you back.”

EDI looked back at Tali and Glyph and smiled. “Thank you, you two. I did not realize I had...died.” EDI looked down at her hands, stretching her robotic fingers. “It felt like I had just stopped working. There was no afterlife.”

Joker put a finger under her chin, lifting her eyes to meet his. “It’s okay, you’re here now.” She smiled and took his hand.

“So what did I miss?” she asked, as they left the AI core. Awkward glances were shared between Tali and Liara.

Joker cleared his throat and took EDI to the bridge of the ship, letting her settle back into her usual co-pilot seat. The door to the cockpit closed as Tali and Liara stepped in. “Shepard activated the Crucible,” Joker began to explain. “Whatever it did, it destroyed the Reapers and other synthetic lives including you. But it also destroyed the mass relays and left comm buoys in scrambles. We’ve been stuck on an uncharted world for about a month now, trying to get you working again.”

“We didn’t feel safe, nor comfortable, taking off without you working again,” Liara added, offering a small smile to EDI. “That and the fact that the Normandy is currently offline.”

“You keep the Normandy in full function,” Tali tagged on.

Joker nodded. “Now that you’re back online, we’re hoping to make it back to Earth. The only issue with that is...”

“We don’t know how far away we are, nor how long would it take, or if we could even get there via FTL,” Liara explained, her voice low and sad.

“Is there a specific reason to going back to Earth?” EDI asked, pure innocence and naiveness in her robotic eyes.

Joker looked at Tali and Liara, asking for some backup with his eyes. Tali rubbed her hands together nervously. “We want to try and find Shepard.”

EDI tilted her head. “Is Shepard alive?”

The three of them exchanged looks once more. “We...we don’t know,” Liara sighed. “But Garrus seems determined to find out.”

EDI lowered her head. “Oh. Right. Garrus and Shepard were in a romantic relationship weren’t they?” Everyone nodded. “I will begin to run diagnostics on the ship then, to see what repairs will be required to get us off the ground once more,” EDI said, more optimistic and hopeful. It seemed to work as Joker, Tali, and Liara smiled a little more.

“I’ll let Garrus know,” Liara said before leaving the cockpit. She went to the crew deck, in the lounge looking for Garrus, but he wasn’t there. She went to the other side, the starboard observatory, but he wasn’t there either. She went to the main battery, wondering if he had gone back to calibrating to distract him, but he wasn’t there either. Liara could think of only one other place he would be grieving in.

As she suspected, the door to Shepard’s cabin was open, a somber tune of a piano playing through the speakers as she stepped out of the elevator. Laying on the bed was Garrus, a picture in his hand. Liara could tell it was the picture of the Normandy crew they had taken back on the Citadel. “Good news, Garrus,” Liara greeted, standing next to the fish tank. He looked up at her, his mandibles parting in curiosity. “EDI is back online. She is going to run a systems check and see what it will take to get us back to Earth.”

Garrus sat up, putting the picture on one of the bedside tables. “That’s what everyone wants to do?” he asked, not looking at her, still looking at the picture.

Liara moved closer, sitting on the end of the bed. “Garrus, you’re not the only one who wants to find Shepard. I, for one, do not want to see her name on that wall either. I want to at least see her body if she is...gone.”

Garrus snorted. “Weren’t you the one who recovered her body last time? After the Normandy’s first destruction?”

Liara nodded. “I was. Until I found her, I never lost hope. Even when I recovered her body, I still didn’t lose hope, especially since Cerberus planned to bring her back. I thought it was crazy, but they did it.” Liara smirked. “Death and Shepard are not good friends. She defies him at every turn.”

“I just...I don’t want to put her name on that damned wall. Because if I do, then it may be as well saying she’s gone. I...can’t accept that.” Garrus’s voice faltered, weak and strained. Liara couldn’t hear his sub-vocal very well, but she knew it was worse than his regular voice. She knew the pain of losing Shepard would be hard on him.

“Then let’s hope we can make it to Earth soon,” Liara comforted, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

He silently nodded as she left the cabin.

༻✧༺

Another month had passed by, the Normandy was still grounded, but basic functions were online. Power kept the basic necessities alive, powering Liara’s room where she spent most of her time, using her Shadow Broker resources trying to gauge the aftermath of the Reaper War. No matter how much she tried to get any information, with comm buoys out of commission and them being on an uncharted world, anything she received was scarce at best. She still had received no status about the Citadel, Earth, or what state the galactic civilization was in. The only information she could glean, was what everyone already knew; the Reapers were dead and the mass relays were broken.

Voices were raised in concern about food supplies. There was still plenty of food for everyone, including Tali and Garrus, but supplies would run out soon if they didn’t restock. James, Cortez, Tali, Garrus, and Javik all decided to explore the uncharted world in hopes to find some food. Tali had a scanner in her suit that could identify whether something was poisonous and dextro-friendly or not. The only thing they had managed to find was some berries for everyone except the quarian and turian.

“Great, we’re going to be living off berries,” James groaned, picking the bright red fruits from the bush Tali had just scanned.

“Be lucky we found anything at all,” Tali retorted. “Garrus and I still have to find food that we can eat.”

“To be fair, you guys are the only dextros on board so you’re not going through your supply as fast,” Cortez pointed out.

“Hopefully we won’t run out in general,” Garrus said, looking aimlessly at the horizon. The system’s sun was equal to the sun, Sol, providing the same warmth and light on this world’s surface.

“If we do run out of food, we can just eat one another,” Javik suggested. Everyone turned and looked at the Prothean.

“Of course the Prothean would say that,” James cackled. “Talking about salarian soup and shit.”

“Let’s try to avoid that outcome,” Cortez suggested.

The idle conversation continued as the group continued looking for more food.

“Liara.” EDI stepped into the Shadow Broker’s cabin, her arms behind her back as she waited patiently for the asari to notice her.

“What is it EDI?” Liara looked up from her computer screen, frustration painted on her face.

“I found something. Upon doing an internal scan of the Normandy, I discovered a signal that was sent about two months ago. A distress signal,” EDI explained.

Liara looked at EDI in curious surprise. “Oh?”

EDI motioned for Liara to follow back up to the bridge of the Normandy. Joker was sitting in his pilot’s seat, the seat turned to face the door of the cockpit. His hands were templed together and worry was bright across his face. “Jeff and I have already listened to the signal. I had to clear it up in order to understand it since the signal was so ruined.” EDI explained as she stood next to Joker.

“Keep in mind, it’s two months old,” Joker grumbled as EDI used her omni-tool to play the signal.

There was a lot of crackling in the beginning and then a cough. “Help...” Liara strained to listen to the static in the voice. “This is...Com...mander...Shep...ard. I’m...still alive...Please help...” The signal cut off then with one more cough from the sender.

Liara’s eyes widened as EDI and Joker looked up at her to gauge her reaction. “Don’t get your hopes up. The signal is two months old,” Joker repeated.

“Do you...do you know if this signal was received by anyone else?” Liara asked, her voice soft and quiet. It was hard to determine what her reaction was.

“No. As I said, I just received this signal when I was doing diagnostics on the Normandy,” EDI answered. “I cannot determine if the signal was sent to any available ships or if it was sent to the Normandy specifically.”

Liara crossed her arms, bringing a hand to her chin, stroking it thoughtfully. There was a reason Joker reiterated the fact that the signal was two months old. With no knowledge of whether or not the signal was received by anyone else, there was no guaranteeing Shepard was alive. Liara sighed. “There’s nothing we can do about it. But whatever you do, don’t show it to Garrus. Unless we can find out whether or not the signal was received by someone else, there is no reason to bank our hopes on this.”

Joker nodded. “I agree. And honestly, Liara? As much as I want to hope...I don’t think she made it.”

Liara smiled sadly. “We can only hope she did, Jeff.”

༻✧༺

Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there...meet me at the bar.

She was standing in the forest. There was no child there this time. No copy of herself. She was alone. There were voices surrounding her. She looked around. Her body didn’t hurt. She couldn’t feel anything. There was a bar on the opposite end of the forest. She could have sworn she saw a turian sitting on one of the stools, a bottle in its hand.

Her legs began moving, but like all the other dreams, she moved slowly, felt weighed down by a crushing force of gravity, moving impossibly slow.

Shepard.

She heard his voice again. All around the forest. She reached out towards the turian sitting at the bar. She wanted to call out for him, but her throat tightened and no sound escaped. Fire started to form around the turian and the bar.

Not again. Please. Not again.

Come back alive. It’d be an awfully empty galaxy without you.

The flames consumed the bar and the turian, just as his head turned to look at her; the blue eyes, the blue colony marking across his face, his visor, his mandibles parting at the sight of her.

We’re in this until the end.

She tried crying out, but the flames consumed him and the noise of the Reapers echoed all around her. A bright flash of red came into her view. She felt sluggish as she brought her arms up in a futile attempt to block the beam from disintegrating her. But the pain never hit.

༻✧༺

Six months had passed since the Reaper War ended. Food supplies had started to run short, even for the dextros on the Normandy. Despite all the exploring the adventuring party had done, they still found nothing more except for berries for everyone else. However, progress on getting the Normandy back online was going well. EDI had predicted that the Normandy would be airborne within the week.

The mood on the ship was tense. Everyone was excited to be airborne again. Garrus still kept Shepard’s nameplate close to him. People stopped talking about the possibilities of Shepard’s fate, not wanting to further upset the turian and the rest of her close friends. Games of poker were used to distract crew members from the low running food supplies and the restlessness of being grounded for so long on an uncharted world.

“Man I can’t wait to get the hell off this planet,” James chattered, fixing himself a plate of berry flavored scrap food. “We’re pretty much out of food and have been surviving off of berries and MREs for six goddamn months. We haven’t been getting nearly enough proteins we need in a daily meal.” He sat down at the lunch table where the other crew members sat. Tali and Garrus looked at him pointedly. He lifted his shoulders. “What? You guys still have food.”

Tali scoffed. “Barely. There wasn’t that much dextro-food compared to your guys’ food. So we started running out around the same time you guys did.”

Cortez smiled, offering some hope around the table. “It’s okay guys. EDI said we should be taking off here soon.”

“Yes, but how long until we get to a known system?” James countered. “The mass relays are still screwed and we haven’t even received communications in forever.”

“Not to worry,” piped the synthetic voice of EDI who had just rounded the corner of the mess room. Liara stood next to her, a small smile on her face. “Communications have been reestablished.”

Liara sighed softly. “The only problem is that the communications we do receive are delayed. Say, if something was sent four months ago, we would just be receiving it now, or later. So any news we do get is going to be late.”

“Fantastic,” Garrus mumbled, looking down at his plate. He had barely touched his food and Tali was half-tempted to snag what he didn’t eat.

“Getting communications up at all is a start,” EDI admitted. “As I said, it shouldn’t be long before I can get the Normandy back into full motion.”

“Please hurry,” James begged, leaning back in his chair. “I’m sick and tired of this planet. If we had more resources, I wouldn’t mind living here. But I’m gonna lose it if I managed to survive the Reapers just to die to starvation six months later.”

Cortez raised a glass towards James. “Cheers to that.”

Liara rolled her eyes just as Specialist Traynor rushed around the corner. “Everyone! Come quick! I just received a message from Admiral Hackett!”

Everyone perked up a bit at that statement. Most of the communications they received were garbage or were so insignificant that Liara had immediately deleted them. But a message from Admiral Hackett? This had to be good.

Everyone rushed to the elevator, cramming inside of it before stepping out into the CIC. Traynor rushed over to her computer and pulled up the message. “I haven’t listened to it yet, I just saw who it was from and decided to call everyone up.” Joker was leaning on the opposite side of Traynor, by Shepard’s personal computer. There was a glint of hope in his eyes at the news of the message from Hackett.

Admiral Hackett played a huge part in the Reaper War, commanding the forces that brought the Crucible to the Citadel. If he was sending a message directly to the Normandy, then hopefully it was good news. Or news in general.

The message came up, but the frequency was all scrambled, too much static to even hear words. A few tweaks later and the old man’s voice finally came through.

“Normandy. This is Admiral Hackett. With the comm buoys in disarray and mass relays destroyed, I don’t know if and when this message will reach you, but you need to come back to Earth as soon as possible. Do whatever the hell you have to to make it back.” There was a pause in the message as everyone looked at each other. Then the voice spoke again and the words that came out struck everyone.

“We found Commander Shepard. She’s alive.”

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Does Archaeology - Part 5

(as per usual, all these posts are collected under the KyidylCL tag)

Pottery and shErds

So, what are we talking about today? Well, I think the next thing is gonna be pottery.  This is where we’re gonna talk about time, space, and dating a site.  Because most people think that the only way to date an archaeological site is via C14.  That’s not true, and actually we don’t always do it.  C14 dating can have some problems, including that the wood used in the fire is likely older than the time in which it was cut down and burned.  It also only goes back 50,000 years, so anything older than that won’t have any carbon isotopes (it’ll have all decayed), and we have to use other things that are more expensive.  And c14 testing itself is expensive - we sent in 2 samples and it was around $500/sample so we spent about $1000 on testing.  Instead, there are other ways to date a site and one of the most accurate is pottery.  

See, like all other kinds of material culture (AKA, stuff people leave behind.  Non-material culture is like...song and story and stuff like that.), pottery follows stylistic trends and trends in how it was made.  And it does this both regionally and chronologically.  Which is great, because if we find bits of one type of pottery we know is made in one place in a settlement in another place, then we know the two people traded with each other.  But I have to explain something else so that determining a date from pottery makes sense.  

Every area of the country has what’s called a “type site” for a given period of time.  In undergrad I was lucky enough to actually get to work on the type site for the Safety Harbour period, which is Weedon Island....ironically enough there’s a Weedon Island period and Weedon Island isn’t the type site for that period so uuuhhh...yeah it’s weird lol.  Anyway, a type site is a site that is considered stereotypical for a given time and place in history.  Usually they’re large and well-preserved, and they’re often the first sites found in that time period/area (but not always, which is how the above weirdness happened.). And so what happens is we dig ‘em and analyze the finds and do testing on those finds.  So now we know “hey, this kind of pottery comes from here and it is X years old”. Now you know when you find it in other places where and when it comes from.  This is all a very generalized explanation, but I think any more is like extraneous detail you don’t need.  Just know that things like type sites help us determine where and when stuff like pottery was made.  Lots of literature usually exists for type sites, but I actually can’t remember the type site for this area for this time period.  

We also use a term called “diagnostic”, which is used much as it is in medicine.  If we find a certain thing that was only made during a specific time period or in a certain place, then it’s diagnostic.  IE, a certain kind of pottery is diagnostic of the late, middle, or early Woodland.  The pottery we have at our site is diagnostic of the late Woodland.  Some of the lithics we thought might be a bit earlier, but honestly I think that was just misidentification by the site director bc we were in the field at the time.  Lastly, identifying pottery has a few components.  Color and decoration I think are easy to understand (they didn’t have glazes, but you can make different colored pottery by varying the composition of the clay and the temperature at which it is fired.). Paste and temper are the other two.  IDK how modern pottery is made, but old ass pottery is made with paste - the main body of the clay, the matrix that contains the temper - and temper. Temper is stuff they’d crush up and mix in to help it not break during firing and heating during normal use.  So we combine these factors to ID the pottery and thus the age of the site and trading habits of the people in question.  One last thing you need to understand about pottery - ancient people used pottery the way that we use disposable things.  They didn’t think it was like an important thing that had to keep safe.  They’d use it until it broke and then toss it in the garbage pit and make a new one.  So it’s really common and we find it all over the place, but TBH in the future pottery *won’t* be diagnostic anymore because our ceramics come in such a wide variety that we couldn’t possibly hope to narrow down time or place.  

Alright, so who wants pictures? You, of course.  Who *doesn’t* want pictures? Here’s some of the pottery we found: 

This is the larger shard that I found in the features I’ve talked about in previous installments.  You can see where I accidentally broke it. >.> Anyway it’s kind of unique bc of the light color outside and the black inside.  It’s like...idk, 4 or so inches long.  

This is a rim piece that I happened to find two matching sherds of.  I always check the rim pieces because the patterns on them usually make them easier to fit together.  Honestly I’ve got hundreds of pot sherds from this site and I don’t have the sanity to try and make pots from them.  

This is the outside and inside respectively of the largest piece we have.  TBH taking this thing out of its box and handling it makes me nervous because of how large it is - about the size of my hand, but I did include my earbuds for scale.  The black is charring from both firing and subsequent use, and it came out of the pit feature I’ve been talking about.  And do you wanna know the cool thing about the inner surface of pottery? Because they didn’t use glazes, the surface was porous and retains the unique chemical traces of what was made in them.  However, the vast majority of the time those kinds of tests aren’t done because archaeology as a whole is extremely underfunded and trace chemical analysis of pot residue is an expensive test requiring expensive equipment and expensive scientists.  Funnily enough I probably could do some of this testing bc I used to be premed and so I’ve taken a lot of chemistry and know how to read a mass spec thing, but I don’t have access to the chemicals or tools to do these kinds of tests.  Plus, they’re often destructive...which....I mean...there’s so much pottery that it doesn’t really matter if one piece gets destroyed but like you do still have to be careful *which* piece you destroy.  

Anyway, you also can see the striations on the outside piece, and that’s decoration on the pot.  It probably also helped with gripping it.  This is a piece of Shepardware, which is diagnostic of the late Woodland period in the Shenandoah valley. Here’s some more cool pottery: 

This is a random assortment of the kind of stuff we regularly pull out of the ground when it comes to pottery.  The most common kind we have is the orange on one side black on the other (3 upper rt pieces), whiteish (upper left 2), orange on both sides (lower left 3) and totally black (lower right 3).  All of ‘em are some variety of shepard or pageware.  You can see the texture on a lot of them, too.  We have a good mix of textured and untextured, and that’s why the composition of the pottery is more diagnostic than the decoration.  Frankly, people can and will put whatever design they think looks cool.  But they made that particular design by wrapping twine around the end of a flat stick and pressing it into the surface of the wet clay.  I also chose those two upper right pieces because they have really visible temper.  Here’s a side shot of one of them: 

You can see how big the bits are compared to my fingers (yeah, there’s dirt under my nails....I haven’t taken some tweezers to them yet after working on the car.). And...wait, I WAS going to try to describe this to you but then I was like “no, they deserve better” and I broke out my DSLR and my macro lens and took some pics.  Here are some macros of the temper: 

The white balance is a little off on the top one...the bottom one is more true to color (they aren’t the same piece of pottery, but they are a similar color).  So you can see that it’s crushed up limestone.  Pardon the depth of field on those...I had to open the aperture pretty wide to get one that wasn’t blurry bc I don’t exactly have bright lights in my room.  

Anyway....so that’s the pottery we’ve gotten at the site and what we can learn from it.  It’s going to take some time before we can start determining patterns and whatnot in regards to style, but we do have some evidence of trading here because some of the pottery we have is from the piedmont culture....

...wait, let me explain what that means.  When archaeologists need to describe a group of people who existed in a given place in a given time based on similarities in material culture regardless of ethnic and social grouping we call it a culture.  This is different than the standard meaning of the world culture, or even the way a cultural anthropologist would use the word.  So when I say the piedmont culture, I mean people that lived in the general area of the Piedmont plateau during the late woodland.  They were of varying tribes, languages, etc.  And we do this to describe the extant boundaries of cultural influence of particular trends in physical objects and not the social groupings of the humans in question.  So, for example, lots of people are familiar with the Clovis culture.  When archaeologists use this term we mean “these are the boundaries of the places we are finding physical objects in the group we’ve named Clovis” not “everyone in this area was a Clovis person”. Like no, obviously, they weren’t.  There were tons of social groups, tribes, etc. that were all distinct and different.  It’s a way of mapping cultural influence via physical objects to see how far they spread and who was using them.  

So, we have some piedmont stuff despite not being in the piedmont area, so we know that they were trading with those natives.  If you’re interested in more detail here, this is the VDHR resource I use for IDing pottery.  It looks like it came to visit you from the late 1990s, but the info is good and it’s easy to use. 

Anyway, that’s it for tonight.  Tomorrow is gonna be rocks and weird stuff, depending on how much I end up saying about rocks.  Probably not much bc we know how I feel about rocks.   ;) 

[shifty-looking-sheep]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Liara T'Soni, Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Urdnot Wrex, Admiral Hackett, Dr Chakwas, Engineer Adams Additional Tags: Post-War, Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Happy Ending, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Speeches, Embarrassment, friends teasing, Reminiscing, Reminiscing about Normandy SR1, Post-Mass Effect 3, Friends notice everything, Teasing

Summary:

Shepard wasn't scared to commit; it was the actual wedding she was scared of, and now she realised why.

The crew of the SR1 show that they were paying attention more than Shepard and Kaidan had previously thought.

It took a full year for her to give in. Not that she didn’t want to commit; she’d been committed way before she admitted it to herself, and years before she admitted it to him; sometime between her throwing him out of the way of the beacon on Eden Prime, and seeing the blush creep up his neck as she came to speak to him after Noveria. A really long time. It was the actual wedding she was scared of, and now she realised why.

“So, the crew of the SR1 realised Shepard was interested in Lieutenants pretty early on.”

Snorts of laughter wafted over from a table of Normandy crew. Kaidan’s mum giggled from the other end of the top table. But most worrying of all, she could see that Admiral Hackett had raised an eyebrow.

Dr Chakwas continued, apparently unconcerned by the horrified look etched onto Shepard’s face.

“I believe I was there right at the beginning. The ground team had just returned from Eden Prime; the Commander had been injured and was out cold. The then-Lieutenant hadn’t left her side, of course. When she came to, they had a who-can-apologise-the-most competition, until the Commander told the Lieutenant that he had nothing to apologise for, and his face did something like this…”

The doctor waited for everyone’s attention before pulling a ridiculous, eyebrow-raised flirty face. Kaidan groaned and hid his face behind his hand. Shepard couldn’t help but smirk at the memory.

“And then, the next day, the Commander came back to the med bay to ask what I knew about the Lieutenant, in a ridiculous fake-nonchalant tone,” Dr Chakwas affected a Shepard-like low voice while twisting her hair between her fingers. “Um, so, er, what can you tell me about the Lieutenant, you know, professionally, or, you know, whatever.”

Garrus snorted some of his drink out of his nose, while Shepard sunk a little lower in her seat. Kaidan turned an amused eye to her and cocked his head. “Subtle, Jane, “ he breathed, looking slyly satisfied with himself.

“So, I quickly caught her up on what being an L2 was like, and the medical support I needed to offer for his migraines etc. and she pulled a face like she’d just seen a puppy with three legs.” The doctor exaggeratedly exhaled and batted her eyelashes. “And that’s how I was the first one on the SR1 to find out that there was something going on between them.”

Dr Chakwas sat back down at her table as the laughter started dying down. Shepard gave her what she hoped was an angry glare, but the doctor just winked in return.

“Thanks Karin, but I don’t think you can count raised eyebrows as the start of a relationship. I was the one who saw that.”

Adams had just stood up and flashed an uncharacteristically mischievous grin to the waiting crowd. A low groan escaped the bride’s lips. "Shit", she thought, "him as well?"

“Let me tell you a little about the Normandy SR1’s oxygen recycling mechanism-“

James loudly booed and aimed a dinner roll at Adams’ head, which he smartly sidestepped. Instead, it narrowly missed Jack, who shot daggers at James as he sat back in his chair, shaking his head.

“It’s on a closed system, separate to life support and the first three back-up systems. Essentially, it can’t fail, requires no maintenance, and is so far down an engineer’s list of priorities that they didn’t even feel the need to install the panel on the engineering deck. They just shoved it in a corner of the crew deck where it could be safely forgotten about. This corner happened to be outside the CO’s quarters… Which brings me to exhibit A, Major Alenko’s SR1 work logs.”

Shepard heard Kaidan sharply inhale. She turned to take in his sheepish expression as he guiltily rubbed the back of his neck. Adams had pulled up a document on his omnitool and had started to read from it.

“Monday 6th – 1100-1200 hours – maintenance: oxygen recycling. Tuesday 7th – 1400-1600 hours – maintenance: oxygen recycling. Wednesday 8th – 0900-1000 hours and 1700-1830 hours. You guessed it. Thur-“

One of Kaidan’s sisters was leaning forward to try to catch Kaidan’s eye, grinning and shaking her head. The light giggling from the guests was rising in volume.

“Sunday 12th – 0800-1100 hours – suspected power drainage issue in oxygen recycling system. Sunday 12th – 1200-1300 hours – power drainage issue confirmed as false alarm.”

Joker, swinging back on his chair, rolled his eyes. “Wow, this is embarrassing for you, eh Major? Shepard, did you realise you just married your stalker?”

Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose and clamped his eyes shut in what looked to be a futile attempt to will himself to the other side of the galaxy, rather than the onset of a migraine. Shepard patted his arm in what she hoped was a supportive manner, but couldn’t contain a burst of laughter as Adams continued.

“Wednesday 23rd – 0700 hours… Major, seriously? Did you actually get any work done on this mission?”

Kaidan groaned and attempted to lower himself so far down his chair as to be invisible to the room.

“Oh no you don’t,” admonished Shepard, grabbing an elbow and dragging him back upright. “‘Celebrate our love’ you said. ‘We need everyone there with us’ you insisted. This one’s on you, Mr Weddings-are-fun.”

“It’s not too late to elope,” he whispered back. “You call the skycar and I’ll meet you outside in five after swinging by the gift table.”

“And that’s how I knew about their relationship before anyone else,” concluded Adams, with a half bow.

The majority of the applause came from a table near the back of the room with a bunch of Kaidan’s friends and squadmates from Biotics Division. Gaining some respect back when he returned to work after the honeymoon was looking like it might be tricky.

“Gonna have to disagree with you there Adams,” Wrex said as he stood up, awkwardly adjusting the collar on his actually rather dapper formal attire.

Shepard involuntarily groaned just as the room went quiet, causing eighty pairs of mischievously laughing eyes to sweep right over to her. "Is everyone from the SR1 going to take a turn at this", she thought, angrily, then froze mid-thought. "Oh goddess, they were, weren’t they!"

“I was definitely the first to notice these two were at it. Or at least that they wanted to be at it. It was… uncomfortable,” he rumbled.

“Oi, Commander!” shouted Jack, mouth full of chocolate mousse. “Didn’t know you had it in you! My girl was getting some on the job!”

Shepard turned an unflattering shade of brick red, which clashed nastily with her flaming hair, falling in waves about her face (Tali had insisted that she ‘do her hair’, but Shepard couldn’t wait to throw it into a ponytail later).

“I took to sparring with Kaidan back in those days. Only other Biotic on the ship, pretty worthy partner, for a human. Not much room on the old Normandy though, had Garrus and Ashley down in the shuttle bay with us as an audience, but they were usually busy with their own stuff.”

“Oh no!” breathed Shepard, a shame-filled, indulgent memory floating up to the surface of her mind and burning her cheeks. Kaidan turned and raised an eyebrow.

“…but I noticed that Shepard seemed to be down there weirdly often when the sparring was going on. Taking notes maybe? Spotting, in case the battlemaster squashed a crewmate.” Wrex seemed excited at this thought, and slammed a fist into his palm. Bakara tutted next to him and put a hand on his arm to bring him back to the moment. “Anyway, I realised she wasn’t watching the fighting, hurhurhurr, she was watching the squishy crewmate, hurhurhurr.

“I guessed she was worried about me hurting the pretty Lieutenant , so I spoke to Ashley, and she said ‘Don’t sweat it, Krogan, it’s not you she’s imagining naked’.”

Traynor sprayed half a glass of champagne across the table before she could clasp her hand over her mouth. Everyone was howling at this point, spurred on by Wrex’s deep guffawing. Shepard’s eyes betrayed her and slipped over to look at Hackett. ‘Everyone was howling’ was an exaggeration; the Admiral looked pained. Shit. Shitshitshit…

“So sure, humans, you might have seen some warm-up, but I knew when it got serious enough for Shepard to start ogling.”

Kaidan’s hand darted out and caught Shepard as she made her break for under the table. “Ah ah ah,” he mocked. “If I’m not escaping, you’re not escaping. For better, for worse, dearest wifey.”

Shepard growled and sat back grudgingly. She’d feel better if she was in her armour; in armour she could face anything. This dress was just discomfort on top of discomfort.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Kaidan whispered in her ear. “But no, drugging all of our wedding guests and running off to live on Omega is out of the question. Well, until we hear what’s next…”

"Next?! There couldn’t be more, could there?" Shepard silently pleaded.

“These eyes don’t miss much – I was a vigilante sniper, after all. Clearly, I caught the real start of this first,” purred Garrus, waving his hand in the direction of the newly-weds.

Kaidan and Shepard flicked back to face each other. “OK, you put the drugs in the champagne bottles, I’ll call the shuttle,” said Kaidan out of the corner of his mouth. Hell, she loved this man.

“Snipers lurk on the edges of the battlefield, they see everything, and keep an eye on their squadmates. Which was lucky for Shepard and Kaidan, since they weren’t always focused on the bad guys.”

“WHAT?!” Shepard slammed both palms onto the table, pulling back her shoulders and giving Garrus her best battlefield stare. Sadly, he knew he had the upper hand, and besides, intimidation is much harder when you’re wobbling on your heels after three glasses of champagne and a sneaky ryncol.

“Woah, Shepard, touched a nerve? That’s more than you touched on Daratar where I had to shoot three smugglers who almost got the drop on you while you were ‘entranced’ watching Kaidan warping.”

“That is so untrue!” she complained, a little too high-pitched for her liking. Kaidan grinned and mouthed “really, Jane?” which didn’t escape Garrus’ notice.

“Oh, buckle-up Alenko, I’ve pulled your ass out of the fire more times than Shepard’s. The mines on Nepmos? You had two Rachni soldiers on you while you were busy gawping at Shepard’s melee prowess.”

“Slander!”

Kaidan joined Shepard’s indignant pose behind the top table.

Garrus chuckled almost malevolently. “OK, OK, I didn’t mean to suggest that earth’s best and brightest can’t handle themselves in a fight, simply that without Palaven’s finest around they might be sporting a few more scars in their wedding photos.”

At the phrase ‘Palaven’s finest’, Tali groaned and lifted her head up as if rolling her eyes, a gesture which set Liara off into a fit of uncharacteristically girly giggling.

“Clearest time though, after clearing out some Cerberus mercenaries on a drifting freighter. All focussed during the firefight, sure, but afterwards…”

Shepard cast her mind back… she couldn’t remember what Garrus might have been referring to.

“The perps had hidden gas cannisters around the ship, and the love-birds thought they’d make finding them all into a race. They’re running around giggling like school kids, shouting across the room every time they find one, completely forgetting that I’m there. Then suddenly, I hear this crash, like twisted metal, along with a yelp, and I figure they’ve gotten themselves in trouble, so I walk around a pile of crates in the direction of the sound, and guess what I see…”

Several suggestions were shouted out, but Garrus managed to ignore them, and the subsequent laughter. “They’d both ‘fallen over’,” he continued, using air quotes. “I guess they’d run smack into each other, but they were making no attempt to get up – just staring at each other through their visors, faces bright red, with Alenko’s hands on the Commander’s hips as she’s fallen on top of him. I had to VERY LOUDLY clear my throat to snap them out of it. I’m not sure what they were thinking of doing with all that armour on, but hey, good for them. Anyway, I think that proves that I knew something was going on before any-“

“That’s enough Vakarian,” laughed Tali, as she bumped him out of the way with her hip. “I have clear evidence of something going on in the SR1 days, not just longing looks.

“I was on my pilgrimage. Never been away from the flotilla before, never been around humans, and I really didn’t know anything about human bodies.”

Kaidan mouthed “Bodies?” and developed a worried look while Tali continued.  

“Since I was so nervous, and new to everything, a couple of crew members took me under their wing, mainly Adams, who was so kind to me, talking to me about the ship and the drive core, and Kaidan, who acted a bit like a big brother, coming to check on me and making sure I was doing OK.”

Shepard flashed Kaidan an affectionate smile.

“Well, I thought he was checking on me.”

Shepard’s smile froze.

“Anyway, these ‘check-ins’ seemed to link up to when Shepard was down in the cargo bay talking to the crew in-between missions. When she made it into engineering, Kaidan would go discuss something with the ensign, or Adams, then come back to chat to me about omnitools or laugh at my favourite vids. But he was never that focussed on the conversation if Shepard was leaving.”

“Ohhhhh,” Kaidan made a pained noise and hid his head behind his hands. “No no no no no…”

“So I thought, maybe it was a human custom to watch your superior officer’s hips as they leave a room, and so I asked him.”

Kaidan made a noise like a dying animal, but it was drowned out by the tidal wave of laughter, much of it coming from Vega and Cortez, one of whom shouted “L2, you dork!”

“Well, he turned completely red,” Tali practically shouted, trying to continue the story despite the general furore. “I’d never seen a human do that, but naturally, being Quarian, I thought he must be running a fever, so I backed up quickly (worried I was going to catch something), and said, a little too loudly, ‘Woah, you look hot Lieutenant’, which-“

Tali’s next words were lost in the cry-laughing erupting around the room. Adams was clutching his chest almost as if he was in pain.

“OK, OK, haha, calm down guys. Anyway, I told Kaidan that he looked hot, and Shepard was still in the room, and she whipped around so quick, smirked, looked Kaidan up and down, and left. Ten seconds later, my omnitool pings: ‘Yes, he does, but back off Tali, this one’s mine!’.”

Garrus whistled, and Vega yelled “Caught red-handed Lola!”

“So, I think I win, since I actually have written evidence from the SR1 days. Eat that, Bosh’tets!”

“I have better than that”. Joker, rather than stand up, leaned back in his chair and made an exaggerated gesture of resting his hands behind his head. “I was the one running the betting pool on when they’d get together, and I know exactly when that happened because I’m the one who won.”

Shepard and Kaidan turned to one another and simultaneously repeated “betting pool?”.

“Admiral Hackett, sir, I’m guessing anything said at a wedding stays at a wedding, Vegas-style?”

“You have my word, Mister Moreau,” the Admiral chimed in, in mock-seriousness.

“So, we opened the books a few days before we arrived on Therum. The signs were all there – Lover-boy here making cow eyes at the Commander in the mess; those looooong chats after each mission. Seriously, it felt like the Normandy had turned into the Love Boat.”

“Joker, stop exaggerating.” Liara, stepping up to her maid of honour duties, had an eye on the Admiral and his reactions. Thank the Goddess for Liara, Shepard thought. That’s one wedding tradition she was glad she’d followed (Tali had forced her, refusing to attend if Shepard didn’t name bridesmaids).

“Oh, now T’Soni speaks up,” said Joker. “I’m sure you have something juicy to add to this discussion.”

“A friend doesn’t break a confidence, Joker. What kind of information broker would it make me if I revealed everyone’s secrets?” Liara answered, with a wink to the top table.

Joker waved her answer away and continued. “Anyway, Susi and Johnson both bet on them not getting it on until shore leave, the innocents. I thought Pressly might write me up when he came over and mentioned the pool, I mean, I thought I was toast, but then he just said ‘I’ll put my credits on it being a solar month’. Miles out.”

Kaidan took Shepard’s hand under the table and gently squeezed at the mention of some of their fallen colleagues. It still hurt. It would never not hurt, but it also felt good to hear Joker recount stories about them so animatedly.

“You were in, weren’t you Adams?” Joker hollered over his shoulder.

“Yeah, and you took me for 20 credits!”

“After every mission, crew would rock up to change their bet. Hell, at one point I had 30 credits on them getting it on in the back of the mako on Noveria and blaming it on ‘sharing body heat’, but that 30 credits went to hell. Anyway,” Joker continued. “Eventually, I got the evidence I needed to win my original bet. Cam footage of the mess hall with a clear view of the Commander’s quarters. 1500 hours - Alenko walks in. 2100 hours – Commander walks out, alone, grinning. Fifteen minutes later, out slopes Alenko, looking more than a little dishevelled and extremely pleased with himself.”

Wolf whistles echoed around the room, and someone, presumably Donnelly, shouted “Get in there my son!”

“And all this happened to occur exactly when I’d bet it would: ‘The night before we catch up with Saren’.”

Joker took an awkward bow, since he was still in his seat. “Thank you, thank you, I’m available for Tarot readings, predicting numbers for the Illium lottery, and picking auspicious names for your future children.”

Tali made her eye-rolling head movement again. “Joker, you are so self-satisfied, if you were made of chocolate, you’d eat yourself.”

Shepard hadn’t heard what Tali said though. She was too busy exploring a niggling feeling she had, just out of reach in her memory, connected to Joker.

“So that’s why you interrupted us!” she exploded. Springing out of her chair and throwing the accusation before she’d had time to consider the consequences. Now everyone was looking at her expectantly, and the explanation needed to be good before everyone started imagining that Joker had walked in on her and Kaidan in a compromising position.

“Just after the ship was grounded, I was at the lockers and Kaidan came over, and we nearly kissed, except you jumped on the comm just before we did.”

Several members of the original SR1 crew snapped their heads over to Joker’s direction, and there was an audible intake of breath from O’Reilly.

“That would have meant I won!” He shouted. “You owe me, flyboy!”

“Not a chance,” Joker retorted, though with an undercurrent of panic. “All’s fair in love and gambling.”

“Let’s move on, shall we, ladies and gentlemen.”

Hackett had risen from his seat, brushing his sleeves absentmindedly before settling into parade rest. “I think I may have something of note to add.”

The laughter, shouting, and general hubbub of the party was extinguished in a nanosecond. Joker’s eyes were practically popping out of his head. James let out a low whistle, but was quickly silenced by Cortez jabbing him in the ribs.

Hackett cleared his throat and shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Is he nervous?" thought Shepard. "Oh hell, how bad is this going to be if an admiral of the Alliance navy is nervous to say it?"

“Three days after the battle of the Citadel, I received an interesting message from Major Alenko, which I’m very glad I chose to ignore.”

The colour completely drained from Kaidan’s face.

“I forget the details…” the Admiral trailed off, but with an ever-so-slightly mischievous smile. “Something about falling in love… any fraternization implications being entirely his fault… Commander Shepard being an exemplary officer who had just saved the whole galaxy, and shouldn’t be punished for a minor infraction… being prepared to take any and all consequences... some kind of offer of resignation… Naturally, I decided to deny all knowledge of receiving such a missive.”

Kaidan had turned to Shepard and was giving his extremely-serious-apology face, clearly expecting her rage at the idea that he’d confessed to complicating the chain of command without discussing it with her. However, Shepard’s facial expression wasn’t angry at all. Instead, she looked contrite – she knew what was coming next.

“I’d just decided to delete the message from the Major when, to my absolute shock, a second message comes through.”

Confusion bloomed on Kaidan’s face, until he looked over at Shepard and froze, then it morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as realisation dawned.

“This second message was remarkably similar to the first one, but with a few key differences. There was something about Lieutenant Alenko being the future of the Alliance… amazing example to other Biotics, blah blah blah… all untoward behaviour being entirely the fault of his superior officer… and another offer of resignation…” Hackett concluded, with an amused expression aimed at Shepard. He’d started off seeming nervous to be joining in with the general pile-on, but now he was clearly enjoying himself.

Shepard and Kaidan were still just looking at each other. Kaidan’s grin had softened into a loving smile, mirrored on Shepard’s face as well.

“Funnily enough, I took the view that I should probably ‘forget’ this second message as well… I’d become very forgetful in the face of a possible reaper invasion,” mused the Admiral, looking around at his audience and drinking in the laughter and small ripple of applause. “Anyway, I believe the point I am making is that, while I acknowledge that I can’t compete in your competition to see who noticed the relationship first, I believe you can thank me for not allowing the heroes of the Reaper War to resign four years ago over it.”

That elicited a huge cheer from the room, with a number of people raising their glasses in a toast.

Shepard slowly leaned sideways to rest her head on Kaidan’s shoulder, and as he quickly dipped to kiss the top of her head, she whispered “You idiot.”

“Right back at you,” he whispered back.

[maskydoolovesmasseffect]

Mass Effect Tag

Wellio, I’ve been tagged by @berryshiara. Passing this on to @grummel83

Gunna answer my questions now. Y’all feel free to tell me what you think of these answers. ​

I’m a fan since: 2008. I was just out of high school and still not over KoTOR. I was fresh in the army and got to talking to some other dude fresh to the army about video games. He asked me if I played Mass Effect. I said no. By the next day I just about totally forgot about him, then he suddenly appeared out of nowhere sat in front of me in the chow hall and pulled a copy of ME1 for Xbox 360 out his pocket like he was a magician doing a magic trick (ACU pockets are huge.)

Anyway turns out that guy was a romance option and I must have picked the right dialogue options. I’m still with him, too.

Favorite game of the series:

Mass Effect 2. It seemed like that’s the one where choices mattered most and you really got to know your squaddies. Also MAJOR gameplay improvements over the first game. And that game gave me the most freedom to do basically whatever I wanted and wasnt afraid to give me consequences for it.

MShep or FShep:

FShep. Nothing against MShep, but for me the real Shep is FShep. Can’t beat Jennifer Hale’s voice. 

Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer:

Colonist. I like having the background of knowing just how dangerous the galaxy can be and how the Alliance can’t be everywhere at once so sometimes you need to manage your best on your own.

Biotics or Tech:

Both.

Paragon or Renegade:

Paragon, mostly. I tried being renegade but some of the actions are just so pointlessly dickish, or even outright unhinged in a way that would make it impossible to believe the Alliance would ever promote Shepard as an officer or even keep her in the Alliance at all, especially in the first game.

That said, there are times where a renegade action is more expedient and practical than a paragon one, like in 2 when you stab a dude in the back to prevent him from repairing an enemy gunship, so even with a paragon playthrough, my Shepard will have no issues taking that opportunity. She’s already seconds away from betraying all those guys anyway.  

Paragon in treatment of others, renegade in combat pragmatism.

Favorite Class:

I play as infiltrator and vanguard.

Infiltrator is great for using a sniping and opening loot, and then for going invisible, and if I remember right AI hacking too. That’s cool and I wish there were more genuine opportunities for stealth.

Nowadays I play as Vanguard in my playthroughs mainly just so my Shepard can be canonically biotic for story reasons. From 2 on when looting no longer needs a special skill and I get to charge around the map. I don’t really care much about using biotics (that’s what the squadies are for) but the movement is super useful (when Shepard actually does the thing instead of just standing out in the open soaking up bullets until the ability decides to actually work.)

Favorite Companion:

Garrus. I like to set him up in sniper positions. When he actually STAYS where I put him instead of running straight up to enemies to try to snipe them at point blank, he’s great.

Also his quips in 2 on are pretty entertaining.

Least Favorite Companion:

Garrus, Oh my god. Go back to the sniper position where I put you. Leave tanking to krogan; you do not have the HP for this.

Also Kaidan in ME1. He can not shoot to save his life - literally.  

My Squad Selection:

For all ME1 playthroughs after my first one, Ashley and Kaidan, just of their comments and because... well... I only have so much time with them.

Apart from that I mainly just pick my team based on who’s likely to have the most interesting commentary on whatever the mission happens to be, squad balance be damned. 

Favorite In-Game Romance:

Garrus X Shepard is my favorite love story. They are just so adorable together and always supportive even when they disagree.

But my cannon romance is Kaidan X Shepard for the drama and angst.

Favorite NPC:

In ME1 there’s this random Turian on Noveria who randomly has like a New York accent and I absolutely adore him. He plays basically no part in the story other than some minor information but he’s just so pleasant to speak to.

“If you need anything, I’ll be here.”

Favorite Antagonist:

Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi daughter of Samara. Yes, she’s a murderous vampire who will absolutely kill you given the chance... but like, it’s a medical condition. And I really can’t help but feel for ardat-yakshi in general when their only options are to spend their whole lives on the run from justicars out to execute them, or waste their entire 1000 year lifespan imprisoned in a monetary unable to experience the world at all. Yeah, Morinth is evil, but Ardat-Yakshi don’t exactly have a good deal.

Favorite Loyalty Mission:

Grunt’s loyalty mission is the best. I get to help my baby boy, reunite with Wrex, enjoy krogan society being fleshed out, have a kickass battle against a thresher maw, and get a breeding request. It’s nice to have a quest that isn’t about family drama and genuinely gets a happy end.

Favorite Mission:

Despite Citadel DLC requiring everyone to have a deathgrip on an idiot ball, and also basically gloss over some really dark stuff, the whole clone storyline with the whole crew is an absolute ride all the way though, with lots of interesting and unique scenarios, a ton of replay-value, and funny party banter that feels like it came straight out of a Marvel movie.

Favorite DLC:

Again, Citadel DLC. Not only did it come with the story above, it also had all those interactions with past and present crewmates, including a memorial for Thane (finally!), a cool apartment to hang out in, a party, an arcade, and an awesome battle arena. It really added a TON. Also, it’s nice to see Bioware figure out that DLC needs characters - I’m remembering back in the DLC to ME 1 the party never had a single thing to say, no matter what was going on. The fun and wacky Citadel DLC is a far cry from the serious and somewhat dark space opera Mass Effect started as, but as the final DLC capping off the end of the series, it gets to do a silly victory lap (and get the taste of the ending out of our mouths.)

Control, Synthesis, Or Destroy:

No.

Favorite Weapon:

Sniper rifles, whatever I have that’s fast and has high damage output. Also that one pistol that shoots tiny energy grenades. Pew pew.

Yeah I wasn’t really big into the weapons so much. I’m here to get my story on. 

Favorite Place:

The presidium on the Citadel. It bothered me a lot when I couldn’t explore it in the second game. I know it would have been terribly impractical, but as the presidium is just a huge ring, it would have been cool to be able to explore the whole thing, going past all the little park areas, shops, monuments and so on until you loop aaaaall the way back around to where you started. Like, how cool would it be if the ring had a running track? Maybe C-sec  academy trainees would be spotted jogging together along it in formation. And can you imagine grabbing a coffee (I was going to make up a space-related name for Starbucks but it’s already STARbucks...) and taking a nice stroll along the water before finding a nice bench to alien-watch from? Other locations in the game are like great places to explore and do gameplay stuff, but the presidium seems like a nice place to just be.

Favorite Quote:

"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." - Javik.

This is such a fucking raw damn line. It makes me think a lot about Cerberus. When ME3 wasn’t out yet, I thought maybe the plan was Shepard would at some point choose a side, Alliance for paragons and Cerberus for renegades. It would have been so cool to have morality not merely be good vs evil, but idealism vs that ruthless calculus Garrus mentioned. How fucking raw would it be if Cerberus wasn’t just generically evil for no reason and suddenly indoctrinated but really were embodying that ruthless calculus, determined to defeat the reapers at any and all cost. Maybe Cerberus actions’ were more likely to do terrible things for the sake of ultimate victory, doing whatever it took, whereas the Alliance would be less willing to make the terrible choices and ultimately be less likely to succeed.

Now obviously, that’s not what happened, as it would have required Bioware to basically make two entirely separate games. But that line from Javik makes me think of that concept, and a universe where like Dragon Age party members can approve or disapprove of actions not merely as good or evil but along the lines of their personal values. I think Javik would sit at victory at all cost.

Also that one mission in 2 where some random NPC catches Shepard sneaking around and is all like ‘what are you doing here?’ and Shepard is like ‘What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Get out here before it blows!’ and the guy’s freaking out like WTF and she says ‘RUN!’ then laughs to herself as he flees from an imaginary bomb. Shep you troll. 

The thing I like the least about the entire franchise:

The misogyny and objectification that crept its way in, epically from the second game on. Really didn’t like those ass-shot camera angles, or female characters being slut-shamed in-universe for the clothes the designers made them wear. Yikes. 

But the biggest yikes for me in that regard is actually the reveal in 3 that the prothians guided asari development. That was fine and all, but the part that bothered me was the characters commenting “ooooh, so that’s why asari are so advanced,” as it was ever any kind of mystery before that exact moment. For one thing, asari aren’t really shown as being more advanced than anyone else, apart from having discovered the citadel first, and for second, why wouldn’t asari be advanced? All the way from ME1 it’s established that 1: Asari live for a really long time, and 2: can instant transmit information directly from brain to brain. That means they have long lifetime in which to accumulate knowledge and experience, and also can easily spread and preserve that knowledge without even the need for books. That ALONE should put them ahead. And even with all that, they only barely beat the salarians to discovering the Citadel first. But no one asks for an explanation for why salarians, who live only a few decades and can’t do mental data-transfer, are so advanced. No, only the success of the all-women race needs explaining. It was just one moment but it still bugs me. 

Also the general loss of realism after the second game. First game everyone gets armor, including full-face helmets automatically on in environments that need it. After that, people can apparently just wander the battlefield half-naked and even somehow survive in a total vacuum if they just put a plastic cup (that isn’t even connected to anything) over their mouth and nose. In the first game they at least made up some reasonable-sounding science fiction explanation for things, but after that it’s like F-it everything is just space magic now. 

Oh, and those repetitive unlocking stuff minigames. I use a mod to just skip those. 

[mypetshopworld]

Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift.

The unwanted Christmas Gift we all been there.

Christmas Time is a hectic time, and everyone rushes to get the presents and things ready to spend time with family and friends. 

It is a time where thousands of Christmas present will be returned the next day. We all been there. Receiving a Gift we didn't really want. An embarrassing pullover from Aunt Megan, an ugly pair of socks, a tie or a useless electronic gadget. All of those items are easily returned or just put in a drawer and forget about it. Some even end up in the daily trash.

Giving a pet as a Christmas Gift. A bad idea for both the future pet owner and the pet.

Giving a living animal to someone and the person does not really want it or is prepared for it, that is the moment when it becomes disastrous. After all, it is an animal with feelings, it is breathing and deserves to receive love. According to ASPCA In the days, weeks, and months following the festivities, animal shelters all over the world are inundated with animals who were given as a gift. I have to say those are the lucky ones, not every pet will be brought to a shelter. Some will be abandoned in the woods or beside the road and left to fight for themselves. Some will die, starve to death or get hit by a car. Some guardians will advertise and look for a good home, the danger here is that they might get in the wrong hands and are used for dog fights or for animal testing. Pet Shops advertise their pets and some people get supercharged with the idea of giving a puppy or kitten as a Christmas gift.

It sounds great and cute thinking of the surprise and the face including the tears. I don't want to spoil your Christmas present but giving a pet as a Christmas present is a not a good idea.

Let me tell you why it is not a good idea?

Having a pet and inviting it to become part of the family is a family decision. Not a spontaneous one it is a decision you want to have discussed and thought through. There are much more things to consider as just the video you can upload and share with your social media tribe and friends. A dog is not a toy, nor is a cat, a toy. Those are animals living beings, and yes, they do have feelings.  The internet is full of lovely videos and photos of puppies. Kittens packed in Santa cloth and puppies with Santa hats coming out of boxes. The reactions of those who receive them. You can find thousands of videos where joy comes into a person's life, and it is accompanied by happy tears. 

Why should an animal not to be considered as a gift? 

After all, we are talking about a living being and an animal that requires care and attention. The Shelters getting full after the Christmas months with animals what are given as a gift, but when people realize what kind of work and commitment is involved, they give them up. I do not say all are like this and some people are happy and commit to a lifetime keeping the pet.

What a lot of friends do not realize when they give you a pet as a Christmas Gift that the cute puppy needs training, and will do a lot of mischievous things. Without proper training and care, the puppy can become a dog that is not listening to the owner or becomes aggressive. Same goes for the aquatic part like turtles they are so cute when you buy them so tiny and small.   Unfortunately, they grow quickly out of the small Aquarium and without a proper filter system, the water becomes quickly dirty and smells. That is why many end up in the local River system.  Is it right to give pets as a gift for Christmas? We should always keep in mind some critical points before considering giving a pet as a Christmas gift. 

A Pet is a lifetime commitment and a loyal family member

Having an animal is a decision that can change a person's life a lot. It's a long-term commitment. You can't change them, you can't give them back. That's why before giving an animal to someone else, we must make sure that the person understands the responsibilities to have an animal in their life.  Even more important are they up for this challenge and are they living in an environment where they can accommodate a cat or a dog. ( check out our free dog breed calculator. Choose the right dog for you ) Therefore, the person should have verbalized the desire to adopt. Also, we must be clear that the animal gets the time and space it requires. 

Adoption is a great solution to help abandoned animals. 

Theoretically, the more animals adopted, the better for them, for shelters and for the families. Is that so? More or less. Statistics show that during Christmas or holidays, the abandonment rates increases. This is why some associations and NGOs temporarily closed adoptions on Christmas Eve.  It is essential to highlight that in the spirit of Christmas, there are non-certified breeders that sell pets before they are ready to be taken from the mom.  Those pets come without their proper vaccinations, and without worrying about their welfare. This will obviously translate into behavioural issues and health problems of the animals.  Most of the Pets bought on the streets will die as they are breed for business and not for the well being of a Pet.  "Pets should not be considered a commodity."

Download my Christmas Gift for you. 3 Free Ebooks. All you need to know about Pets. Cats. Dogs.

For the love of Dogs For the love of Cats For the love of Pets

Puppies and Kids are great together but consider a dog or a cat is not a toy. 

There are many cases of children who wish to have a dog as a pet animal, and there is really nothing wrong with that. It is one of the best things that can happen to a child having a dog or cat around and grow up with it.  Who hasn't heard that speech saying if you have a dog, you'll have to take care of him? However, it is essential to remember that they are children and that they cannot be 100% responsible for a dog. It is, in the end, the responsibility of the parent.  When adopting an animal, parents should be aware that it is their responsibility, and the fact that the child does not care for the dog is no excuse for abandonment. It is a family decision I can not stretch it often enough. Pets, in my opinion, should only be given as a gift by parents to the kids, at least they have put some thought into it. 

Pets as a Christmas Gift. Consider all changes and challenges. 

*If you are determined to give a pet to make a person happy, old or young consider different factors.  *Is there enough space for the pet?  *Can the person or family accommodate a pet? *How many hours a day is a pet alone. If more than 8 hours do not give a pet as a gift.  *Is the person or family able to accommodate the vet and food expenses?  *Make sure the person is not allergic to pets.  *Does the person have experience with pets?  *If the pet is a dog, is the person or family able to walk with the dog regular?  There are a lot of things to consider and please think before you make the decision to give someone a pet as a Christmas gift. Understand the pet like a dog or cat will be hurting if it is returned after Christmas.  Pets have feelings and emotion the same as you. It will not understand why you leave it alone in a shelter and abandon it. If you want to give a pet as a gift, you assure that the person is ready for the commitments and responsibilities. 

It's time to think about the pet's arrival at the new home.

If it's a puppy or a kitten, you should remember that they will be separated from their mother and siblings.

They will come to a home full of people and stimuli that will probably make it more than uncomfortable for the pet. The first night it will cry and call out for the siblings and the mom. You might not get much sleep. You must have a bed or a playpen prepared in a quiet place in the house where they can sleep and be away from excessive noise and groping. In short, a comfortable place to hide.  You should also have toys and food. An alternative way to avoid the stress of arriving at a new home is to surprise the person with an adoption certificate. This is a good way for the future pet owner to be ready. The adaptation will be less stressful, and the future owner will have time to choose a pet, accessories and bed himself. The future Pet owner can also prepare himself or the family mentally for the new member. 

Consider adoption before you buy from a Breeder.  

If you buy from a Breeder, please make sure it is a certified Breeder and not an illegal Breeder who breeds pets for the sake of money.  Choosing adoption over buying is a wise decision.  In addition to being a much cheaper option, we'll stop financing illegal breeders and avoid indiscriminate dog breeding.  You will also save an abandoned and homeless pet and give space in the shelter for another pet to arrive.  In 2018 this video footage went viral RSPCA posted it. Everyone was so touched even Snoop Dogg and Andrew Neil offered to take the dog in. But if that person's wish is to have a specific breed, we recommend you to look for a kennel that has all the papers.  It will give a guarantee that it is reproducing healthy pets with specific veterinary tests, and that has a hygienic space that favours the welfare of the puppies. 

You will be surprised how many dog breeds are abandoned every day, and you can find in a shelter. Go on the internet and look around in animal shelters near your area. I got our Doberman and German Shepard from a shelter. Alone in the US, there are yearly around 1.6 Million Animals euthanized. 670.000 Dogs and 860.000 Cats. Both of my dogs have been Christmas gifts and sent to the shelter with only 5 months old. I guess the owners did not consider how big they get, and that they will chew and destroy in their puppyhood a lot of things they can get their teeth on.  Remember that many pet breeds are also abandoned and need a home. In a pet who comes from an animal shelter, you find a loyal companion.  We hope that all this information will help you evaluate whether or not it is positive to give pets as a Christmas Gift.  And how you can assure the pet has found a family or owner for life.  If you liked my blog Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift. Please like and share with family and friends. Visit our Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter page.  I wish you a wonderful a festive Season. 

My Christmas Gift to you. 3 Free ebooks instant download. All you need to know about Pets, Dogs, Cats

For the love of cats click here For the love of dogs click here For the love of pets click here All yours Melanie  Source Information https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics Approximately 6.5 million companion animals enter U.S. animal shelters nationwide every year. Of those, approximately 3.3 million are dogs and 3.2 million are cats.  We estimate that the number of dogs and cats entering U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 7.2 million in 2011.  The biggest decline was in dogs (from 3.9 million to 3.3 million).Each year, approximately 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized (670,000 dogs and 860,000 cats).  The number of dogs and cats euthanized in U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 2.6 million in 2011.  This decline can be partially explained by an increase in the percentage of animals adopted and an increase in the number of stray animals successfully returned to their owners.Approximately 3.2 million shelter animals are adopted each year (1.6 million dogs and 1.6 million cats).About 710,000 animals who enter shelters as strays are returned to their owners. Of those, 620,000 are dogs and only 90,000 are cats. Read the full article

[pbacklinks]

How To Propose To Your Boyfriend

New Post has been published on https://pingbacklinks.com/how-to-propose-to-your-boyfriend/

How To Propose To Your Boyfriend

How To Propose To a Man  When He Doesn’t Propose To You

Although we are inarguably living in a modern society, one where the average woman doesn’t stand there waiting for a man to happen by to open a door for her any longer, there has not been any sort of uptrend in one area; women proposing to their boyfriends. In this ebook, we intend to investigate the phenomenon of women proposing to men, why the trend hasn’t taken off, and if it is the right choice for you and your boyfriend.

can a woman propose to a man

YES

In the first section, we’ll look at the social stigmas that are attached to women proposing to men. We’ll help you with your decision on proposing to your boyfriend being the right decision for you, and if it is, when you should pop the fateful question.

  Then, we will jump right into how to make the proposal phenomenal. Nobody wants to be asked for their hand in marriage inside of a port-a-potty at a Molly Hatchet concert, so we will help guide you into a scenario where you stand the best chances of your boyfriend uttering the phrase you are bucking tradition to hear, “yes, yes, a thousand times, yes”.

  Finally, we will cover the possible outcomes. The elation and celebration following a “yes”, and the way to gracefully deal with the answer if it is “no”. In addition, we’ll discuss the option of buying a ring to present for engagement, other possible engagement tokens, and how to successfully keep your boyfriend from feeling emasculated when you make the decision to make an honest man out of him.

  So, strap on your laciest garters, ladies, and let’s explore proposing to your boyfriend who hasn’t, or won’t, propose to you.

  When Should You Begin To Consider Proposing To Him?

Prior to proposing, you need to have a serious conversation with yourself about where your relationship currently stands. Most women are much more mature than men much more quickly, so you may be thinking wedding bells and baby buggies, but he is still content to play Playstation all day and eat Hot Pockets. Those are two entirely different outlooks on a relationship, and it may lead to you getting your feelings hurt if you propose to a guy who just isn’t in the commitment frame of mind.

  If the two of you have discussed marriage, children, your future together, and you have similar plans and goals, then you might be in the clear. However, if you can’t even agree on what his major is supposed to be, you are probably not in a place in life, or in your relationship, where proposing marriage will end in a satisfactory response for you.

  Traditionally, marriage was more of a business arrangement between families or clans that was put in place to successfully hand over land or provide protection for families. In current times, we have real estate agents and police forces for that, so marriage is free to be whatever you choose for it to be with you and your spouse. Currently, there are a lot of couples who are child free and intend to stay that way for life. Other married couples are in business together, and their finances would be greatly affected by divorce.

  There isn’t a current day scenario that requires people to have a spouse any longer. There are a lot of people who have never married, and they don’t ever want to . You need to know your boyfriend well enough to know how he feels about engagement, marriage, children, and all of the division of duties and day to day struggles that come along with agreeing to partner with another for the remainder of your lives.

  Prior to agreeing upon proposing to him being the right move for you, ask yourself these questions about your relationship and your boyfriend, and answer honestly:

  Are you currently living together? How is your home life together if you are cohabitating? If you aren’t yet living together, why not? Does he have extenuating circumstances, like children from previous relationships or a prior marriage? Do you live within thirty minutes of one another currently, or are you in a long distance relationship?

What are his views on marriage? On children? Do they align with your views on the subjects? If not, how substantial are the differences in your beliefs? Are they trivial differences in the grand scheme of life, like the number of children you plan to have? Are they potentially relationship destroying differences, such as one of you is polyamorous and the other is monogomous?

Are his beliefs in other areas of life pretty traditional, or is he a general forward thinking type of guy?

  If the two of you are already married, without the marriage certificate to prove it, then you will probably find he answers yes. He is more than likely already comfortable and settled into his life and routine with you. However, if you live on opposite sides of the country and only communicate via Skype on Sunday, you may be setting yourself up to have your heart broken. Answer yourself honestly when asking, “Is he really ready to be a husband? And is he really ready to be a husband to me?”

I’m Pretty Sure He’s In It For The Long Haul…

If you have decided that this is definitely a step that the two of you should be taking, and are both prepared to take, draw some motivation from famous women before you who grabbed their relationships by the stones.

Pink proposed to Carey Hart. He said yes.

Liz Taylor proposed to her 2nd husband. He said, yes, for a while anyway.

Kristen Bell proposed to Dax Shepard. I know, right?!?

Queen Victoria proposed to Prince Albert. Nevermind the fact they were cousins.

Zsa Zsa Gabor proposed to all 9 of her husbands. Let that sink in for a minute.

  Many women before you have decided that they were ready to take the plunge, and that they didn’t need to wait for their boyfriend to make the decision to marry them, so they instead did the asking. If you think that you and your guy are at that point, then, by all means, let’s get you prepared to take the next step.

  Is Asking Your Boyfriend For His Hand Appropriate?

Interestingly, unlike with any other topic up for discussion, the answer received from everyone from millennial to senior citizen, male and female, polled is “no”, this is still a role that isn’t appropriate for a woman to take upon herself. From 18 to 78, it seems as though the overwhelming response to this question is that it will not become a tradition that is lost with time, as many of the other traditions have over the years.

  Although many famous women over the years have proposed, they haven’t yet sparked the landslide of proposing women that one might suspect. It seems that in our hurry to shake off the weight of tradition where gender roles are concerned, most people aren’t anxious to let men proposing to women be one that is cast aside.

  Both the humor surrounding leap year and women proposing, and the Sadie Hawkins lore, are centered around unwanted or unattractive women essentially pushing men to agree to marry them. Cartoons, memes, jokes, and crude humor have surrounded these two “historically” female proposal driven dates, and neither of them look upon women asking for mens hands in marriage favorably. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Only old maids and women to be pitied are out here on one knee.

  Statistics show that 97% of heterosexual married couples polled stated that the husband popped the question. However, it is often noted that the couple had discussed marriage for a substantial time frame prior to the proposal, even so much as doing the engagement ring shopping together.

Even with that being said, the wives stated that they would not have preferred to do without the grand gesture, even going so far as to say that they wouldn’t have accepted the proposal without the show and spectacle behind the question popping.

  Of the women that were polled, it is interesting to note that most were self-proclaimed modern women, driven and “ruthless” in the career fields of their choosing. When asked why they didn’t care for the idea of women proposing to men, they offered the explanation that after being so aggressive in their careers, it was nice to be wanted and effeminate in their relationships.

  So We’re Ready To Do This…But, How?

The point that is noted again and again when asking about men being comfortable being proposed to, emasculation is mentioned again and again. In order to prevent your boyfriend from feeling emasculated by your proposal, we’ve put together a list of things you need to consider during the proposal that will help you avoid stripping him of his manhood.

  Do It Privately: In most cases, engagements are often the talk of the family and inner circle of the couple. However, your guy may accept, but not necessarily be comfortable with his friends or family knowing how it occurred. Leave the telling of the details up to your guy; make it a private affair between the two of you.

Think About His Ego: You know your guy. Is this proposal going to make him feel resentful or as though he didn’t do something in the right way? If your guy is the type to become miffed at a woman taking the first step, reconsider.

Make It Meaningful: We’ve all jokingly said things like “I would marry you for”” or something jokingly along those lines. Make your proposal serious and meaningful, you want to ensure that he knows that everything that you are saying is serious, and this is an actual proposal, not just you saying something that sounds like one.

Explain What He Means To You: Let him know, you think he is the bees knees. Tell him how he meets your list of perfect guy qualities. Whatever it is that you think is so terrific about your guy, tell him as much. He should know why it is that you have decided that he is so great, you needed to propose to him.

Plan For His Possible Reaction: There is a chance that his answer isn’t going to be a resounding yes. As terrible as that sounds, it will feel even worse. The fact is, if you’re taking the chance, you need to steel yourself for the possible outcomes. It is important to be honest with yourself, and be ready for whatever his answer may be.

DON’T PUSH IT: If you know he will respond poorly, get upset or even angry, do not propose. There’s no sense in going forward with something that you know is going to be poorly received and will cause a possible problem between the two of you. When in doubt, it’s better to just put it aside for now.

  To Ring, Or Not To Ring

We wondered about engagement rings, and how it would work in the cases where the roles are reversed. In most cases, the men were not presented with an engagement ring. However, there are lots of other fun gifts that you can give to your guy as a token of your love and devotion. What does your guy like? Is there something he really wants, a watch, a man cave, a trip?

  If you’re going to go the non-traditional route, you need to understand that you don’t have to present him with a ring for engagement. Your engagement gift can be as unique as your proposal to him. Think about what it is that he truly loves and either wants or needs in his life. The gift he won’t buy for himself because he considers it selfish to do so, or too extravagant. Exactly what a huge diamond is when a man buys it for you. That is the gift you should try to give him if he accepts your proposal for marriage.

  A surprising statistic is that over the past five years, the number of people searching for engagement gifts to give a guy when popping the question has increased 336%. That tells us you are certainly not alone in your desire to both pop the question, and provide a gift that is going to wow him and mean something at the same time.

Some of the great ideas that we came across are notable, authentic, and unique gifts:

  Locket cufflinks, when you open them there are tiny pictures of the two of you inside them.

Engraved tool kits, with your names or the date of your first date on their handles.

Customized bar kits if your guy likes to entertain. Depending on your budget, this can range from an entire customized bar for his man cave to actually building him a man cave that includes a bar.

What is your guy’s hobby? Golf? Customized clubs or balls. Camping? A bluetooth speaker that doubles as a lantern. The list goes on and on, just put some thought into it.

  The biggest factor is that you know the ins and outs of your man. By giving him an awesome, personalized, thoughtful gift, you’re telling him you know the things that matter to him, and that it’s important to you to provide those things to him when you can. That doesn’t mean you have to blow your entire budget for food this year, it just means that you should do the most awesome gift giving that your funds provide for.

  If your guy is into vintage Rolex, but you only have Timex funds, you may want to focus on another hobby and collection of his. However, if you put some time and thought into giving a great gift, you should be able to do something unique and special to his heart that will really blow his mind.

  How To Go About Proposing To Him

The best sort of proposals are said to be fun and romantic. When you’re talking about proposing to your guy, it can be a little tricky to plan a proposal that is both of these. Some of the ideas for proposing to a woman don’t necessarily translate well to proposing to your guy. A list of a few great guidelines are:

  Propose using one of his hobbies or favorite pastimes: The best way to get him to not only enjoy the proposal, but to make it a great time for both of you is to employ the use of his hobbies. If he is a hiker and camper, scout out a great camping trip, and lay down the plans to take him. If he is a fan of the beach, plan a weekend getaway to a private beach, and propose to him at sunrise. The sky’s the limit when it comes to utilizing your man’s favorite things to show him you know him, and you want to spend your life with him.

Try a new adventure together: Has he always wanted to go bungee jumping? Maybe he has voiced the fact that he would like to visit a winery? Whatever new hobby or adventure he has mentioned wanting to try, or something that you know he would think is the coolest thing ever, perhaps you could set it up for both of you to take part in it. This will lay the groundwork for you to propose, and show him that you are down to learn and partake in the things that he thinks are pretty awesome.

Cook for him: The old adage still rings true, you can speak best to a man’s heart through his stomach. Make his favorite food, or bring his favorite take out home to have together. If you can’t cook, though, you may want to stick with the take out. It probably won’t go over as smoothly if you try to make his mom’s chicken and dumplings recipe and fail miserably at it.

  Some of these might be a little more your man’s style, especially if he is a younger guy:

  Turn it into a treasure hunt: If he is an adventurous type of guy that enjoys being in the woods, try creating a cool treasure hunt by hiding things out in a nice campsite, and taking him on a hiking trip to find them. Some of the things you could hide would be small trinkets that mean something to you guys as a couple, such as movie stubs under a rock, or coasters from your favorite spot tacked to a tree. The point is to make him remember the great times you guys have together, and all of the things in common that you two have. You could make your engagement gift the last thing to find on the treasure hunt, and then propose to him once he locates it.

Make a YouTube video for him: Let’s face it, it’s hard to get your guy to pay attention for very long unless it is in video form, usually involving animals doing something funny, or someone getting injured enough to be funny. Of course, we aren’t suggesting you hurt yourself, but making a YouTube video for him, maybe highlighting all of the amazing things about your relationship is a great idea. You could even propose to him in the video, which might work well for you if you tend to trip over your words when you are nervous.

Relive your first date together: This might work for you if you had a quiet and laid back first date, because you want to try to keep the proposal based where just the two of you are involved. So if your first date was the movies or a crowded restaurant, this probably isn’t going to work very well for you, but it may if your first date was a picnic.

  Some Of The Reasons Proposals Have Been Rejected”

When looking into the options of proposals, it is always important to look at some of the reasons that marriage proposals have been rejected. This will help you prevent doing something that could possibly turn a yes into a no. Some of the reasons are fairly obvious, but none of them really go without saying, as they have been a legitimate reason for someone else to say no:

  An Unromantic/Uncomfortable Setting: With all of the options that we have given you on settings to use for your proposal to your boyfriend, please don’t commit this violation of the rules. If you know that your guy hates being the center of attention, and you go to his office to propose to him in front of 200 coworkers, don’t say that you weren’t warned. Try your best to choose a setting that is quiet, romantic, and special to the two of you.

Terrible Wording: Saying something along the lines of “you are my best rebound boyfriend ever” or “at least you have a car” is pretty much guaranteed to get a no on your marriage proposal. You should put a lot of thought into the way that you’re going to pop the question. Don’t just say the first thing that comes to mind. Try making some notes. Practice your speech on your dog, or in front of the mirror for a while. If it doesn’t sound good to you, it probably isn’t going to sound good to him either. Think about what you’re going to say in the case of your proposal being rejected also.

Scared Of Commitment: If you know for certain that your guy is terrified of being in a committed relationship, you might want to reconsider what you’re doing. You don’t want to set yourself up for failure. Asking a commitment phobe for their hand in marriage is almost a surefire way to end a relationship.

Hoping To Salvage A Relationship: So you have been going through a rough patch in your relationship lately, maybe you guys have decided to take a break. Now is not the time to propose marriage in hopes he will say yes and everything is going to magically be repaired. It won’t. If you aren’t in a good place in your relationship right now, it isn’t the right time to ask him.

You Were Caught Cheating: This is one of those we wish we didn’t need to say, but unfortunately it seems it is necessary. The fact that this has happened enough in relationships that it is listed as one of the top reasons to reject a marriage proposal is a disturbing fact. If your boyfriend suspects you’re cheating, or you have recently been caught cheating and he has taken you back, we cannot stress to you enough that this isn’t the right time to propose to your boyfriend.

To Stabilize Your Relationship: If you have a volatile or abusive relationship, we need you to please sit down and think about what you are doing for about 2 years. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, but you think that asking him to marry you is somehow going to suddenly fix all of the problems in your relationship, that just isn’t going to happen.

    The Stage Is Set, You’re Ready, So Now What?…

We already know that this marriage proposal is going to go one of two possible ways. Now the options for the yes answer are pretty awesome, but the other…not so much. First, let’s cover what to do if he says no to your marriage proposal.

  In most cases, after a proposal for marriage is rejected, the relationship doesn’t last very much longer. The reason for this is, of course, that the two of you don’t necessarily see the relationship in the same way, and probably have different ideas about the future. In some cases, he just may not believe that you’re the one, which may be the reason that he never asked for your hand in marriage.

  You need to prepare yourself for the fact that this could very well be a defining moment in the relationship, and not in a good way, either. Let’s take a look at some of the possible outcomes if he does answer with a no to the proposal of marriage:

  If You Live Together: There is a good possibility that if the two of you are living together, and he rejects your proposal, you may need to think about who will move out. Make sure that you have an alternative plan together for what is going to take place if he does not say yes to your proposal and the relationship ends. Will you move? Will he? Are you financially ready to make a change at this moment? Be sure that you have not put yourself into a position that isn’t fiscally impossible for you at this exact moment.

Do You Have The Same Friend Circle?: One of the worst things throughout the process of a breakup is choosing who keeps which friend. Having mutual friends as a couple is something that naturally takes place over time, but can impact a breakup in a big way, and make breaking up even more difficult. If you are hanging out with mostly his friends, you may want to consider contacting some of your friends and setting up a support system for yourself, just in case you need people to talk to after a rejected proposal. You simply aren’t going to need to be spending that time alone, and it’s going to more than likely be pretty emotional for you.

Who Keeps What, Pets, Etc: Even if you guys don’t live together, you may own things together or have pets together. If you have pets together, who will your pet stay with? If it is you, do you have a safe home for the pet to go to along with you? You want to be sure to fully think about the aftermath and what a potential break up is going to mean for you, your things, and your pets.

  How To Handle A “No” With Grace”

Although most of us would probably want to curl up into a ball and wait for the earth to swallow us, that isn’t the way that you need to handle a proposal rejection. Really, it isn’t. Instead, listen to what he has to say. He may be in a different place mentally about the relationship. Maybe he has something else taking place, such as a possible career shift or an ill family member, and he feels as though it may affect things between the two of you in a negative way. At least hear him out, because when you are replaying it in your mind, you will ask yourself why things didn’t go the way that you thought that you would.

  However, you want to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. You shouldn’t lose hope in all relationships and marriage just because this didn’t go the way that you planned for it to go. You will find someone who thinks that you’re absolutely terrific and who wouldn’t dream of saying no to a proposal from you. It just isn’t this guy.

  In order to keep from falling into a depression and swearing off dating forever, try to follow some of these tips so you can stay positive about the matter, and positive about yourself:

  Try To Date Yourself: Take yourself out, and focus on doing the things that matter to you. If you like visiting museums and botanical gardens, go and do those things. If you want to ride horses or scuba dive, take yourself on the trips to make those things possible. Do the things for yourself that you may have been waiting for the right partner to do them with. There is no time like the present to date yourself.

Focus On Your Career: Throwing yourself into your work is a great answer to a breakup. Not only does it help to do more at your job, but you could possibly see better income from it, and that is always a good thing after a breakup because now you have to consider the fact that you’re paying the bills without any assistance. However, it can be necessary to take a day or two of vacation time or sick time immediately after so that you aren’t crying or emotional at work. The fewer people at your job that know about it, the less likely they are to ask, setting you off into crying spells while at work. Crying or being emotional at your job is never advisable.

Broaden Your Horizons: So you and he loved to go bowling every Friday, then movies every Saturday? Stop doing those things for a while, and explore some new options for yourself. Try taking up a new hobby, or visiting new places. Make some new friends, join a new social group, anything that helps you to focus on you and the new things that you can do and accomplish.

Stay Away From Social Media: You don’t necessarily need to give up all social media altogether, but places like Facebook and Instagram can be brutal after a break up. Just take a break from places that will have pictures of the two of you and reminders of your relationship for a while. There is plenty of time later to change your status and delete pictures. Now isn’t the time to do such things, especially while you are still emotional about things.

Remember How Great You Are: Just because one guy couldn’t see how absolutely amazing you would be as a wife doesn’t mean that nobody will. Focus on keeping your health and mental state positive and don’t allow yourself to get lost in ice cream and old reruns. Get up, exercise, run with your dog, and take care of yourself as you always have. You’ve got this. Things happen, you’ll be ok. Seriously. You’ll be ok.

  But He Said Yes”

Well, outstanding! This is terrific news! So, what should you do now?

  Throw An Engagement Party: If you just got engaged, what better time to share the news with your friends and loved ones than with an engagement party? There are a lot of interesting party ideas that can help you plan a bash that is suitable to your personalities, and can really reflect the love that you two have for one another. Some great engagement party themes are:

Backyard BBQ, With Games And Family Friendly Entertainment

Vintage Cocktail Party With Themed Dress

Luau, With Pig Roasting

Clam Bake

A Weekend Away With Your Best Couple Friends

If the two of you would rather keep it solo, there are plenty of amazing ways for you to celebrate as a couple that are themed as well.

Movie Night At Home

Dinner For Two, Either Take Out Or Your Favorite Restaurant

Pizza Night And Arcade Games

  What Next?

The great news is that you are now an engaged couple. You can begin to plan for your engagement, such as sharing the news with family and friends. You can start to plan your wedding, or decide together that you aren’t necessarily a big fan of weddings, and would rather just have a quiet civil ceremony with those closest to you.

  The fact is, it is a relationship between the two of you, so it’s all about what you two want for yourselves as a couple. You are the two that are going to be having a life together, so at the end of the day, what anyone else thinks or wants for you just isn’t important. If you want to be unique and do things your own way when it comes to engagement and marriage that is your right.

  Celebrate the fact that you two have a love for one another and have found someone to enjoy the rest of your life with. Be happy. Have a great life together. It’s exactly what you signed up for when you decided to ask your boyfriend to marry you.

  An Overview:

Prior to proposing, you need to have a serious conversation with yourself about where your relationship currently stands. Most women are much more mature than men much more quickly, so you may be thinking wedding bells and baby buggies, but he is still content to play Playstation all day and eat Hot Pockets. Those are two entirely different outlooks on a relationship, and it may lead to you getting your feelings hurt if you propose to a guy who just isn’t in the commitment frame of mind.

  If the two of you have discussed marriage, children, your future together, and you have similar plans and goals, then you might be in the clear. However, if you can’t even agree on what his major is supposed to be, you are probably not in a place in life, or in your relationship, where proposing marriage will end in a satisfactory response for you.

  If you’re going to go the non-traditional route, you need to understand that you don’t have to present him with a ring for engagement. Your engagement gift can be as unique as your proposal to him. Think about what it is that he truly loves and either wants or needs in his life. The gift he won’t buy for himself because he considers it selfish to do so, or too extravagant. Exactly what a huge diamond is when a man buys it for you. That is the gift you should try to give him if he accepts your proposal for marriage.

  A surprising statistic is that over the past five years, the number of people searching for engagement gifts to give a guy when popping the question has increased 336%. That tells us you are certainly not alone in your desire to both pop the question, and provide a gift that is going to wow him and mean something at the same time.

  Propose using one of his hobbies or favorite pastimes: The best way to get him to not only enjoy the proposal, but to make it a great time for both of you is to employ the use of his hobbies. If he is a hiker and camper, scout out a great camping trip, and lay down the plans to take him. If he is a fan of the beach, plan a weekend getaway to a private beach, and propose to him at sunrise. The sky’s the limit when it comes to utilizing your man’s favorite things to show him you know him, and you want to spend your life with him.

Try a new adventure together: Has he always wanted to go bungee jumping? Maybe he has voiced the fact that he would like to visit a winery? Whatever new hobby or adventure he has mentioned wanting to try, or something that you know he would think is the coolest thing ever, perhaps you could set it up for both of you to take part in it. This will lay the groundwork for you to propose, and show him that you are down to learn and partake in the things that he thinks are pretty awesome.

Cook for him: The old adage still rings true, you can speak best to a man’s heart through his stomach. Make his favorite food, or bring his favorite take out home to have together. If you can’t cook, though, you may want to stick with the take out. It probably won’t go over as smoothly if you try to make his mom’s chicken and dumplings recipe and fail miserably at it.

  If his answer is a no, most of us would probably want to curl up into a ball and wait for the earth to swallow us, that isn’t the way that you need to handle a proposal rejection. Really, it isn’t. Instead, listen to what he has to say. He may be in a different place mentally about the relationship. Maybe he has something else taking place, such as a possible career shift or an ill family member, and he feels as though it may affect things between the two of you in a negative way. At least hear him out, because when you are replaying it in your mind, you will ask yourself why things didn’t go the way that you thought that you would.

  However, you want to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. You shouldn’t lose hope in all relationships and marriage just because this didn’t go the way that you planned for it to go. You will find someone who thinks that you’re absolutely terrific and who wouldn’t dream of saying no to a proposal from you. It just isn’t this guy.

  If his answer is yes, the great news is that you are now an engaged couple. You can begin to plan for your engagement, such as sharing the news with family and friends. You can start to plan your wedding, or decide together that you aren’t necessarily a big fan of weddings, and would rather just have a quiet civil ceremony with those closest to you.

  The fact is, it is a relationship between the two of you, so it’s all about what you two want for yourselves as a couple. You are the two that are going to be having a life together, so at the end of the day, what anyone else thinks or wants for you just isn’t important. If you want to be unique and do things your own way when it comes to engagement and marriage that is your right.

  Celebrate the fact that you two have a love for one another and have found someone to enjoy the rest of your life with. Be happy. Have a great life together. It’s exactly what you signed up for when you decided to ask your boyfriend to marry you.

  We are wishing you the best, and certainly hope that your decision to forego tradition works out the best way possible for you. You are doing brave things, and it speaks to your character as a woman.

ways for a woman to propose to a man .

[songofproserpine]

Mass Effect, mental illness, and healing.

I’m replaying the Shepard trilogy, and this has been bouncing around my thoughts lately.

So in Mass Effect 2, Miranda says that part of The Lazarus Project was the very specific order of recreating Shepard exactly as they were, no exceptions. This includes their personality, their memories, etc. Ignoring questions like ‘how do you reconstruct someone’s mental structure, store it in a computer, and then transfer it to a mind you hope to make sentient,’ this leads me to the more interesting question of (1) does future technology and medical science in the Mass Effect universe have the ability to map brain chemistry to the point of knowing how one’s individual mind functions; and (2) what does this mean for mental illnesses?

While it’s highly unlikely that Shepard could have served if they had a serious mental illness prior to their service, it’s all but flat out said in the opening lines of Mass Effect 1 that Shepard has serious emotional scars. I.E., Shepard at the very least had a PTSD diagnosis depending on what military background you chose for them. And while PTSD is treatable through medication and therapy, it doesn’t seem to have barred Shepard from continuing their service in the Alliance. If anything, Shepard only advanced further, becoming the Normandy’s commander and eventual commanding officer once Anderson stepped down.

I will allow Bioware some dramatic license for this story, and Shepard is also constantly considered a person with “a remarkably strong will,” which means they can endure pain and hardships beyond what most would find tolerable. But just because someone has a “strong will” doesn’t mean they aren’t affected by pain and trauma--they could just keep it all inside and suffer quietly, which Shepard seems to do.

Much like a post I made about Fallout 4 and Nick Valentine’s human form (and how the pre-Institute MIT folks mapped out his brain prior to his death, and simply used that data to make synth Nick’s mind), what we have here is yet another case of someone being created (or resurrected) with a mental map that included mental illness... and that mental illness being programmed in. It wasn’t removed. It wasn’t treated as a flaw to eliminate. It was an integral part of that person’s mind and identity.

With Shepard, this is likely because of Miranda’s orders: Shepard had to be the exact same, no exceptions. But with Nick Valentine, I consider this especially brutal and unfair, because synth Nick wanted so very much to put human Nick’s memories and ghosts to rest. He wanted to build a life and live that life separate from the man he was built from. And this choice of his, while noble and fully valid, was made all the more difficult for him to do because of human Nick’s PTSD and survivor’s guilt being transferred over.

Make no mistake: I’m not saying The Lazarus Project should have eliminated any/all of Shepard’s lingering mental trauma, nor am I saying the Institute should have done something different (it’s very likely that they couldn’t, or just didn’t think it would matter). I myself have been diagnosed with PTSD--that’s why I’m so fascinated by the presence (or lack thereof) of mental illnesses in the video games I play, which are largely RPGs in scenarios where mental health and treatment are either nonexistent (Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, Soulsborne), or very seldom remarked upon (Mass Effect, Fallout) unless it’s for a specific quest. What I am saying is that I wonder what this says to us who have mental illnesses, no matter what they are, and how we can use this narrative choice in video games as a way to change our perspective about these illnesses and the part they play in our identities?

My psychiatrist and I have weekly therapy sessions as part of my Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Very recently, we ended a session with a question that we’ll explore in later sessions: is it possible to practice acceptance and active healing at the same time? Acceptance in this scenario means acknowledging that while my situation and illnesses are not fair, that’s also what they are. I do not like that my life is so brutally sidetracked far too often by symptoms of my illnesses, or by the very existence of the illness itself. But that’s my life.

I wasted an entire decade of my life (all of my 20s) mourning and hating and being brutally ashamed that this was my lot in life, that it wasn’t fair, that I couldn’t be expected to endure all that my illnesses demanded of me on top of the normal things life asks of us all--but none of that thinking got me anywhere. It didn’t make me feel stronger, it didn’t encourage me, it didn’t offer answers or hope or anything useful in the slightest. If anything, it made me worse, to the point where my body was then literally wasting away and destroying itself because of my anxiety by the time I was 29. But I digress.

Back to the question and, eventually, Mass Effect and Commander Shepard. Acceptance of mental illnesses and living with them simply means you look your life square in the face and you accept it--you don’t judge it, you don’t question it, you don’t wonder how it could have been different. It’s not different. It’s your life--period. And it’s yours. That alone should make you want to cherish it. It might be hard, it might be frightening, it might be lonely and all other kinds of things--but it’s yours. No one else’s. And your life, and most especially your illnesses, needs your love.

We care for wounds without questioning why they dare hurt in the first place. We just tend to what hurts and wait until it heals. Why should we do any less to ourselves and our illnesses? That’s acceptance.

The second part--active healing--is trickier, and slower, and far more intricate a process than acceptance. It also requires you return to step one (acceptance) almost every single day. Or, if you’re like me, and have a mood disorder, every hour of every day, for the rest of your life--period. But all active healing really is, in the end, is looking at why acceptance was so hard for you and filling that in with love and care.

Active healing means you tend to your wounds. You get out of bed. You brush your teeth. You shower. You make food. You do chores. You go for a walk. You take your medication. You call your doctor if you feel like you need help outside of your appointments. You remove habits that no longer serve you in healthy, useful ways. You indulge in things you like to comfort yourself when you’re feeling down. You realize that you might need more time to do things, but that extra time doesn’t diminish the importance of what you do. You���re healing. You’re on the mend. You will always be recovering and repairing. This doesn’t have to be shameful or exhausting (even though it can be--but then you start back from acceptance and slowly work yourself back up). It just is.

Which, finally, returns me to Mass Effect 2, The Lazarus Project, and a resurrected Commander Shepard who has their military background include a deep emotional scar added into the mix of the very current emotional scar of having died in space. Jacob tells you that you were “just meat and tubes” the first time he saw you. You weren’t a corpse--you were pieces of a corpse. And you were remade from every atom--including your illnesses. Including your wounds, private hurts that only you ever felt or knew about.

How would this make you feel?

How would you feel about this life, this second pass through the universe, this mulligan on oblivion that pulled you back to this ol’ mortal coil? Angry, undoubtedly. It’s why renegade Shepard in Mass Effect 2 is something of a raging vicious psychopath--but I can’t quite blame them. not really.

Remember the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? When Buffy finally lets slip that she wasn’t in hell, suffering--she was in some kind of heaven? She was happy. She was at peace. And her friend dragged her soul back to its body, forcing her to dig her own way out of her grave, back to life, before she suffocated and died once again. She got her life back, but was never asked if she wanted it back.

That’s Commander Shepard in Mass Effect 2. That’s baseline commander shepard in Mass Effect 2.

Now imagine a mentally ill Shepard having to bear this burden. I’m not questioning whether or not Shepard could endure it (you’ve probably played the trilogy--you know the answer to that question). I’m simply asking you to imagine it. Imagine a marine of whom the galaxy, the entire galaxy, demanded everything. Every thankless task, every brutal mission, every hard choice, every life-altering, life-threatening, life-shortening thing possible under every sun. Imagine a marine lying in a pool of their own blood being told, “it didn’t work,” and their response is, “what do you need me to do?”

What do you need me to do? That, my friends, is the central question of acceptance and active healing. What do you need me to do? Ask your illnesses this when times are tough, or even when times are good. What do you need me to do? Maybe your brain wants to trick you every now and then. Slips in an invasive thought, or a self-destructive demand. Maybe it tries to sell you on a suspicion, building up to full-scale paranoia. These are not things you should feed into; they aren’t actions you should take. More pain will not serve you. Hurting yourself in any way is not the answer to an already existing pain.

Acceptance. Active healing. What do you need me to do? Assess your damage, know that pain will always be integral to your existence, but is by no means the only thing that defines it, and figure out how to respond to it.

Instead of looking at your traumas, your symptoms, your triggers, your anythings as flaws, as failures, as setbacks, as things to hate and be ashamed of, look at it as a part of you in need of care, and ask, What do you need me to do?

And remember this last piece of advice: be kind. Because even after destruction, Commander Shepard took just one more breath--one more small gasp of life. And sometimes that’s all you can ask of yourself: just one more breath. And then another. And another. This is probably the hardest lesson anyone with an illness will ever have to learn: you are healing. You will always be healing. You will always have to take just one more breath. Because that’s what you need to do for you. No one else.

So breathe.

[poweredbycoffeeandwine]

I Don’t Mean To: Part II

Hello Lovelies!! Yes, I finally got around to finishing the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it! Features my Tavrien Shepard and Kaidan Alenko after Virmire. Here is Part 1, just in case you are interested. 

Kaidan Alenko x Commander Shepard - Pre-Romance - ME:1

Part II:

Her hands continued to shake. Her mind swirled. Rage, disbelief and bone-deep sorrow threatened to steal her breath. Tavrien stared at her console, red rimmed eyes causing the screen to blur. She didn’t know how long she had been crying, or when she had begun. She only knew that one of her best friends had needed her, and she had left her to the wolves.  

She gulped her cold coffee grasping at words to voice her feelings. How did one go about telling a mom her child had died? The Williams family had to know just how important and vital their daughter, sister, loved one was but she had nothing. Obviously they knew how special she was, but what could she say to them that could possibly make amends? They would rather have Ash than her flowery words on a cold letter. A better leader would have brought the whole team back, not hollow words of condolences.

After the mission, Kirrahe had taken her aside and offered her words of comfort for her lost soldier. Things like, “she fought bravely,” and “she died a hero,” only made her furious. Now the Alliance expected her to send the same rubbish to a beautiful family--one that already lost a father in the line of duty. Shepard choked, “Oh god,” bile rising in her throat, “can I even do this?” Her chair scraped against the floor, sound grating. She grabbed her Blasto coffee mug, fleeing her quarters and the cursor blinking on the blank page.

The Normandy crew milled about, restless, speaking in muted whispers as she walked. The air heavy with grief and stifled tears. Tavrien knew she couldn't let the pain and utter despair she felt show. The crew looked to her for guidance, more so during the difficult times, and this was by far the worst the crew had experienced. Ashley was the soul of the ship, vibrant and energetic. She felt as though she had lost a sister, and she felt the sorrow wrapping around her, making the tears harder to fight. Inattention lead her wandering feet back to the one place she knew she had to return to, but had been avoiding.

Kaidan would want to talk about the decision she made.  However difficult, she knew it had to be done. With a shuddering sigh, she walked through the door into the darkened room. The lowered temperature caused her to shiver. Her eyes adjusted to the dark as she quietly made her way to the bed he occupied. He was sleeping, brows creased ever so slightly, a grimace set on his lips. Her hand reached for his hair, but she snatched it back before she touched him as if shocked. The desire to sweep hair away from his forehead had been so strong.

Instead she turned and grabbed a blanket off a nearby cot; wrapping it around her shoulders as she settled into a chair. She refused to wake him because he needed sleep. The guilt gnawing at her heart was too much, and seeing the emotion reflected at her through Kaidan's eyes would be torture. Tavrien forced herself to practice her breathing, mentally tuck these feelings in a box, and shove it away.

She glanced at Alenko, and for what had to be the millionth time, marveled at him. In battle, she couldn’t help being impressed with his calm demeanor. He was everything she wished she could be. Analytical, intelligent, he never did a thing without processing and seeing the situation from every angle. She knew what he had endured, all of the weight he carried to become the man he was. She often wondered if she could pay that price and remain half as decent.

Yes, she was hailed as the Hero of Elysium, but she certainly hadn't been the only one fighting. Desperate civilians answered the call for help, countless died fighting for their homes. The battle had been nothing short of a bloody disaster. She willingly sacrificed lives for the textbook definition of the “greater good.” She felt like a fraud when someone admired her with eyes full, glowing with hero worship. Tavrien forced herself to look the other way when the smoke cleared and blood washed away. The Alliance decided to market her as the perfect poster-child. Suited for the limelight. Hell, she had been groomed for itl her whole life. Hannah Shepard surrounded her daughter with the best tutors and military strategists the moment she had expressed interest in following her mother’s footsteps.

Tavrien continued her watch over Kaidan through the long hours of the sleep cycle. Any chance to rest was elusive and her thoughts strayed to the man lying on the cot nearby. Would he hate her when he woke? Blame her for the death of a comrade-in-arms and dear friend. Would he ask to be transferred off the Normandy? She wouldn’t fight him if he decided he couldn’t stay. It would destroy her to let him go, but she had no hold on him. Minutes or hours passed, Shepard didn’t know how long she sat wrapped in the rough blanket. Awareness crept across her skin and she knew for some time he had been watching her. Gritty eyes dragged to him, afraid of what she would find.

“Why?” HIs voice cracked, whether from disuse or emotion, she could not tell, “Why did you do it? You should have left me, Shepard.”

Tavrien spoke softly, wondering who she was trying to convince, “No. Our primary objective was the destruction of that facility. You were arming the nuke. You were with that bomb because you have the skills required.”

“That’s not fair.”

Shepard silenced him with a dark look and continued, “You are a very capable Biotic. The strongest I’ve ever worked with. You were higher ranking and the most damned logical choice by all the books ever written. Any commander would have chosen you!” her voice echoed through the med bay. She hated feeling defensive, she knew she had let her feelings get in the way.

“So, I was rescued because I was the most logical choice? What about Ash, she was your friend! Don’t you care at all? She looked up to you, and I am sure she didn’t expect you to leave her behind like some grunt nobody!” His chest heaved, biotics barely checked in his rage.

Shepard stood, shocked at the accusation in his tone. She wanted to cry, to run and hide. Whatever she had imagined, this was infinitely worse. In a hoarse whisper attempting to hide the hurt, she replied, “I made a decision, Kaidan. Me.” Suddenly she was tired of being questioned, and she took a step closer to him. She stabbed her finger into his t-shirt clad chest, and angrily moved on. “There was nobody else to ask. I was on the fly. I didn’t have time to decide which soldier was most valuable to my operation, I was leaving one of my friends to die with an armed bomb counting down the seconds!”

“No, Shepard,” Kaidan sat up, legs swinging over the side of the bed, and rubbed his temples, “If I had just done my damn job, you wouldn’t have had to make that choice. Ash would still be with us.” His shoulders drooped, and his head fell in defeat.

The sight of him slumped over taking more of the blame than he had a right to pissed Shepard off. How dare he try to diminish her role in the way things played out! She glared at him, a furious fire glinting in her blue eyes. “That is enough!” she roared. “Ashley’s death is on Saren’s hands. He is hell bent on destroying everything we know and love along with these Reapers. He is a mad man, and there is no way to convince him to give us a chance. To fight. We didn’t kill Ashley, he did.” Her palm slapped against the mattress near his leg and gripped the stiff blanket in her fist.

The silence stretched; growing a life of it’s own. She cursed the tears finding their way down her cheeks. She felt weak, and betrayed by her own body. She was more upset that when his warm hand settled over hers, she would have given anything to throw herself in his arms. She would sacrifice a lot more than her career to have him hold her, and tell her that everything would be ok. How selfish and undeserving she felt, her friend was dead, and here she was taking advantage of Kaidan’s grief. “Don’t,” broken and bitter, she pulled her hand away from the comfort he gave.

“Shepard, I’m gr...grateful that I am here. I know it doesn’t seem that way, but I am. You chose to save me, and because of that decision I can fight another day. Still, I have to know…” He paused, rubbed his neck where his implant rested, took a breath and slowly let it out, “Did Ash die because of me? Because of us?”

There it was, out in the open, and Shepard didn’t know whether she should be glad or vomit on the shining med bay floor.  How could she be so stupid? Of course Kaidan knew of her feelings for him. He was perceptive, and she wasn’t exactly at her best when it came to him. Her mother had taught her young how to conceal emotions, how to put on the face of a leader when necessary. Somehow Kaidan broke down all the barriers she had crafted to keep others at a distance. He reached out to touch her after she took too long answering. The light caress from shoulder to elbow and back up startled her. How could so little contact from him shake her like no other touch?

“Kaidan, please. I… What do you want me to say? That I don’t mean to ever leave you behind. That it would be like leaving a piece of myself! I couldn’t ever make that decision. You mean too much, I lo..” She slapped her hand to her mouth, eyes wild and sparkling scared she said too much.

“Do you mean it? Shepard, could you possibly?” Kaidan looked at her with apprehension and wonder. He grabbed her hand again, rough callouses scraping over her the soft skin of her wrists. She shivered, as he pulled her closer to him so her hips settled between his legs. One hand at her elbow, the other lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes. “Tavrien, please,” he croaked, “tell me I am not imagining this.”

Clutching his shirt, she pulled his face toward hers. Lips inches from hers she looked into his eyes, and licked her lips. She was waiting, giving him an out. Understanding he needed a  chance to be the voice of reason, to stop them both before they crossed the line. She knew the regs, but couldn’t seem to make herself care. She had almost lost him, as well as Ash, and sticking to the rules meant that he would never have known. If he let her go, she would back off. Never pursue him again, but oh how she wished with all she had that he would take the leap with her.

She looked up from his lips only to find him watching her own. Kaidan groaned and his mouth slanted across hers. All of the tension built up over the months of the mission was poured into the kiss. Capturing her bottom lip between his teeth alternating between gentle and rough bites, tongue following, soothing away the pain. She hummed her appreciation, and matched his need with her own. She couldn’t fight her body pressing against his. Breaking the kiss with a gasp for air, she clung to him. He held her gently, hand sliding up and down her spine. “Shepard, you have to know how hopelessly lost I am over you. I have been dreaming about this moment since that first mission.” He sighed and rested his head against hers. His fingers tangled in her hair. “But where do we go from here? I can’t let you risk your career for me.”

With a quick intake of breath she moved her hand to his cheek and rubbed her thumb across his cheekbone. She sighed, eyes closed as she rasped, “I think I”m in love with you, and if you are willing to chance it, I am sure we can figure this out.”

“I’m not sure this is real, Shepard. I’ll be livid if I wake up and this has all been a drug induced dream.” Kaidan whispered huskily in her ear. He placed a gentle kiss to her neck and let out a breath.

Untangling herself from his arms to look into his eyes, she swore, “I’ll be here when you wake up, and if you need a pinch, I’ll be happy to help.” His laugh was carefree and so unlike any she had heard from him. So much had happened since they had begun searching for Saren. For the first time in months, she was ready to take the world by storm. Declaring her love for Kaidan didn’t make her weak, but made her feel empowered. With Kaidan and the rest of the Normandy crew by her side, nothing could stop her.

[bethadastra]

Hi! This is your gift giver for holiday cheer! I've been poking around your blog (I love it) and I was wondering if you could give me a bit more information about your Shepard & Garrus and your Ryder & Kandros pairings. What does one partner like the best about the other? What drives them crazy about each other (in good ways and in bad)? What are their favourite colours? Looking ahead 5 years in their lives, where would they be? When/how did they fall in love? Details and rambles are great! Thx!

Oh man… you better fasten your seatbelt, because I’m about to hit the FTL button on this. I think I should give some in-depth background on myLiz/Garrus headcanon, because I have a ton of content in my head for them, and a lot of important relationship developmenthappens after the Reaper war… As for Sara Ryder & Tiran Kandros, their section is much shorter, and at the bottom of the post.  *Be warned,Liz got loaded with a ton of angst because I love watching my beloved OCsuffer.

Liz is an Earthborn, Ruthless, Renegon soldier thateventually chose the Destroy ending (and lived to tell the tale, though at agreat cost).

Liz falls head over heels for Garrus during ME2, becausetreats her as an equal, but she doesn’t dare hint at her feelings until rightbefore Garrus returns to Palaven and she turns herself in to the Alliance. Garrushas feelings too, but he denies it for most of the suicide mission, and chalksit up to a twisted sense of hero worship. They have an emotional conversation abouthow Liz needs to “pay her dues” and Garrus blurts out that she should considerbeing selfish for once in her life (though by this time, its too late for herto turn back, and she can’t say or do anything to tell Garrus that shereciprocates his feelings). It isn’t until they “review protocol on reunions”in ME3 that they fully confirm that they are in love with each other, and theyare pretty inseparable at that point. They don’t talk about being together orhave PDA around others, but they don’t go to extreme lengths to hide theirrelationship either.

Garrus and Liz sneak away and elope at the end of theCitadel party in ME3, but because everyone else was drunk and galactic law doesn’trequire witnesses, nobody on the Normandy besides the happy couple knows, andthe end of the Reaper war happens so quickly after that they never have achance to tell anyone. Garrus doesn’t even tell anyone after the final battle,out of anger and grief. I’d like to note that they were both wearing theirfatigues when they signed their certificate, because Liz is just not adress-wearing character.

After choosing Destroy, Liz is severely injured, and as aresult, has retrograde amnesia for many months, and loses her left arm. Whenshe wakes up, she initially believes that she is still 17 years old andescaping the Reds to join the Alliance, and is very confused by the state ofthe universe and why a hulking, scarred turian is at her bedside. Garrus staysby her side the entire time during her many months of recovery, and neverbrings up the fact that they had a relationship until she begins having dreamsof moments they shared together mixed with more traumatizing memories. Heeventually reveals everything and reproposes, and they elope again (no fancy white dress or weddingceremony for this gal, nope!), and he may or may not get a good fist to theface when he reveals the truth because Liz is still a renegade deep down. Solong story short, looking ahead 5 years, Garrus and Liz will relearn their entire relationship, and work together to heal their physical and psychological wounds.

Now, on to happier things!! Liz loves seeing Garrus when heis nervous and behaves in a very tender fashion, because he came across assomeone very brash and confident when they first met, and no matter how oftenthey butt heads, he is always very gentle and respectful of her wishes. Garrus,on the other hand, loves her for how selfless she is. Her unwavering sense ofduty might come off as cold to others, but it is admirable to him, and Garruswishes that he could say “What else do you need me to do?” as genuinely as shedoes.

Things that drive them crazy….. Hm. Both Liz and Garrus arestubborn to a fault, so that drives them both nuts. I think for Garrus, heloves Shepard’s hands. He loves watching her alien fingers give signs on thebattlefield, how quickly she can clean and assemble a rifle, and all the thingsshe does when they… you get the idea. Garrus hates how she rarely goes intodetail about why she makes many of the choices that she does. He knows he needsto trust her, but it just about kills him when she orders him to staybehind.  It drives Shepard crazy whenGarrus teases her for her itty bitty 5’3” height (and he does it solely becausehe knows it’ll ruffle her feathers in a good way). Also, there is somethingabout all of Garrus’ terrible dad jokes that Liz just loves. Like, she doesn’tlaugh easily but he somehow knows how to get past her guard. When Garrus learnsthis, he makes an extra effort to make her laugh in front of other Alliance officialsjust to see the look of shock on their faces.

As for colors, Liz loves a deep, dark green that I guesswould sit somewhere between olive and pine. Her armor is that color. Garrusused to stick to C-Sec blue, but after the Reaper war, he wore lots ofsilver/grey because Liz called him a “silver spirit” while still affected byamnesia.

Whew! Hope that all hasn’t scared you off yet.

As for Sara Ryder & Kandros, their story is still verymuch a work in progress. For how they met and a taste of their personalities,you can check out my AO3 (under the same url) for the story On And Off The Mat.Sara doesn’t have the strongest connection with her family, and finds a lot ofsolace in Tiran. This results in a ton of quickies that mostly occur afterstressful missions. Things are just physical between them up until Ryder triesto go after Meridian, and gets shot down by the administration. Sara’s a bit ofa hothead, and struggles with communicating her emotions, so it comes down tothis public argument turning into a confession of her feelings with Tiran inprivate. Tiran becomes aware of his own feelings when the Charlatan is revealed and battles Sloane & Ryder. He becomes very protective of her, but the L word isn’t brought up until right after the battle on Meridian, and he is helping her with her wounds.

In both a good and bad way, Tiran’s ability to call Sara outon her bullshit drives her crazy. She definitely appreciates the fact thatTiran can see right through her. She doesn’t have to put on an act around him,and he often knows what she needs before she knows it herself. Sara hates howTiran’s obedience to the Initiative allows Tann to walk all over him. Tiran, onthe other hand, has been a really hard nut for me to crack in developing his character.I think Sara drives him crazy in the way that theres just so much about herthat throws him for a loop. Like, it’s always a surprise when she shows up froma mission, and she asks questions that surprise and baffle him. I think he alsohas some self-confidence issues, so anytime Sara puts her trust in him or callshim out on his own bullshit, he questions himself.

Sara loves the turquoise color of the Initiative logo and noit has nothing to do with the fact that Tiran’s eyes are the same color. Tiranlikes sunset orange (ie the lights on his armor) and for some pretty obviousreasons, he becomes particular to chestnut brown.

I wish I could say for sure where I want them tobe 5 years down the road, but I’m a sucker for building on canon lore, andwould be shamefully butthurt if a sequel game came out and Tiran still didn’tget to be a squadmate. I do like imagining that Tiran gets a chance to settlehis differences with Sloane, Sara is able to formally retire from the role ofPathfinder, and that the two of them either make up their own little APEX team,or go off and do freelance work on Kadara or Eladaan. No matter what theirfuture holds, it will be full of sassy comments and live up to a solidExplicit rating.

I’ll be posting more (mostly drawings) of my Liz & Sara, so hopefully all of this helps! If this massive text monstrosity didn’t fully satisfy you, feel free to ask me more questions!

[flyingicecreamtruck]

Hard Left Turn: Thane Part 1

Notes: Thane Lives AU! Several lines of dialog and the contents of letters from the game are used verbatim. I'm also fudging the time line of the game slightly.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters are not mine.

Summary: They hit Earth first. The Reapers came for Shepard.

Siha,

As always I write this letter knowing that it will not reach you. All lines of communication that I have tried remain closed: official diplomatic inquiries, the Shadow Broker; I have even tried a false identity to get a message through, yet none have yielded any results. What little information I have of you comes from the news reports from Earth: you have been stripped of your rank and are under house arrest, awaiting trial for the events at Aratoht.

While I do not wish to rehash an old argument I find it abhorrent that the Alliance would hold you responsible for the deaths of 300,000 Batarians. If you had not destroyed that relay the galaxy would have fallen to the Reapers before we are fully prepared. I hope the Alliance will listen to your warnings. I pray that they are treating you well.

I miss you. More and more I find myself lost in memories. I cannot forget you. That is what humans say. With us it is a state called tu-fira: lost in another. I told you once that when a memory feels as real as life, it is as valid as life. But the memories of you will never be enough.

Forgive me, I do not want you to think I am wasting the “new lease on life” I have been given. I know how angry it would make you. The doctors at Huerta Memorial are impressed with my progress and have have recently cleared me to return to my normal level of activity. In thanks for all they have done I have begun to volunteer my time at the hospital. It is good to give back.

Though I have lost contact with the rest of the crew, Dr. Chakwas has remained on the Citadel. We meet once a week for dinner. She tells me of your adventures on the SR-1. I would not believe half of what she tells me if I had not seen your methods with my own eyes.

Sometimes we are joined by Commander Bailey. Other times the Commander and I will retire to his office to speak of our families and our failures as fathers and husbands. He has not seen his own family in many years. Perhaps this why he has taken such an interest in Kolyat. I will forever be grateful to the Commander for the part he has played in helping my son.

I am so proud of him, Siha. Kolyat has changed so much from the sullen, moody boy you rescued a year ago. His work in C-Sec has given him purpose, allowed him channel his energies in to making a difference in the galaxy. Every day I see more of Irikah emerge in him.

“Father!” Thane glances up from his data pad to see Kolyat hurrying towards him still dressed in his C-Sec uniform. He smiles. Yes, he is very proud of his son. Thane stands and tucks the pad away. “I apologize for being late. A situation came up and I wanted to stay until it was resolved.”

“It is no trouble. I trust it was nothing serious?”

Kolyat shakes his head as they climb the stairs from the Presidium courtyard to Apollo's Cafe. At early afternoon the restaurant is nearly deserted and they quickly find a table. A waiter hurries over to take their order.

“While I was out on patrol I came across a young Asari girl that had been separated from her mother. I wanted to wait with her until she was found. I know it is a small thing Father but I'm glad I was able to help that little girl.”

“It is no small thing to the girl or her mother. They will always remember the drell who reunited their family and be grateful. I'm very proud of the work you are doing.”

Kolyat straightens under the praise. “Thank you Father.”

The waiter returns with their food and a comfortable silence falls between them as they eat. It is a far cry from their first few stilted dinners after his release from the hospital. Though his separation from Shepard chaffes at him, Thane can never bring himself to regret his time on the Citadel. He and Kolyat grow closer every day.

During the months Thane had been confined to the hospital, recovering from his lung transplant, he and Kolyat had spoken often of Irikah's death and his abandonment at Thane's hands. Though it would never make up for those lost years, it seemed that Kolyat at least understood why Thane had disappeared from his life. Now he could begin to heal. In time Thane hopes for his son's forgiveness.

“How have your studies been going?” It seemed that the first step towards forgiveness for Kolyat was to begin to study with the small contingent of Drell priests on the Citadel.

“It is going well. The Brothers have-”

A horrified cry cut Kolyat off. It sounded human. Thane's head snaps up, searching for a disturbance, yet... no one is moving. The entire presidium seems frozen in place. Other voices join the first; orange flickered rapidly in his vision as dozens of Omni-tools flare to life around the Presidium.

“Father, what is happening?”

Kolyat starts to stand. Thane grabs his arm to keep him still. People were beginning to move, several fled the Presidium. He can hear crying. Dread settles in his chest, squeezing his lungs. Something catastrophic has happened.

Thane glances up as a group of humans moved past him towards the front of the cafe. They stop in front of the large vid screen next to the counter. Something cold slithers through Thane's chest.  No, he thinks, no. Unable to stop himself he moves to join them, Kolyat a step behind him. A split second before he sees the screen, Thane knows what he would see. It in no way prepares him for the reality.

EARTH FALLS TO INVADING FORCE the scroll read.  Though the footage was grainy and slightly out of focus, Thane can see the outline of a burning city. Amid the ruins, and in the air, are the unmistakable shapes of dozens of Reaper ships.

For a brief moment, and only the second time in his life, Thane's mind goes blank. No training, no memories, just an swirling, black void of rage and grief. A low hissing sound intrudes. It is the sound of a drell in distress. Kolyat? No, that is him-

-Irikah's body, broken and bloody on the floor of their home, the hanar officer flashing a deep, mournful gray-

“-breath!” Fingers dig sharply into his arm. The pain brings the world back into focus. Thane sucks air into screaming lungs as he is pushed down into the nearest chair. His scales twitch in disgust at the feel of Kolyat's hand on his bare arm. It takes every ounce of control he has not to shove his son away.

They hit Earth first. The Reapers came for Shepard. Oh Siha...Had she survived the initial attack?  Was she already dead? No one had listened to her warnings. Thane can feel his pulse pounding in his temples. Why had he not done more to help her? He should have-

Thane hissed again as pain lances through his chest, so sharp and hot that his vision dims around the edges. He presses a hand to his chest. It feels as if his entire body is throbbing in time to his pulse. He can vaguely hear Kolyat shouting. Thane glances up into his son's face. The scales around his eyes have gone white and his second eyelids are visible. He is terrified.

Shame washes through him. With a deep breath Thane reaches inside himself for the training that has guided him for most of his life. He presses down the rage and grief and fear. They are useless right now. He needs to keep a clear head. Thane could not think of Commander Shepard now, not when Kolyat is standing in front of him. I will not fail our son again Irikah, he vows.

Thane forces himself to stand. “I am all right Kolyat.”

The look his son gives him clearly said how ridiculous that statement is. “I'm taking you to the hospital Father. Dr. Tozon is waiting for us.” He opens his mouth to object but Kolyat shakes his head. “You are getting cold. Remember your promise.”

Yes, his promise. He had sworn to Shepard, and later to Kolyat, that he would do all that was required to maintain his health. He had too much to live for. With a nod Thane allows himself to be guided out of the cafe. An oppressive silence has fallen over the entire Presidium. He can hear every step they take. The elevator door is so loud that Thane flinches. Kolyat follows him inside, slamming the button for Huerta Memorial.

“Those were Reaper ships. This is what Commander Shepard tried to warn everyone about.” Thane nods, chest aching. Kolyat let out a sob. “Father, what do we do?”

With a conviction he does not feel Thane takes his son's face in his hands, brushing away his tears. “We live. That is all we can do. We live and we help where we can. When the Reapers come, we will fight. And when it is time we will all be reunited across the sea.” Was Shepard already waiting for him? He had never considered the possibility of her death.

That seems to ease some of the tension in his son's shoulders. Kolyat takes a deep breath and nods, pulling away as the door opens to admit them to Huerta.

Word has reached the hospital. The patient lounge is full of crying, frightened people, most of whom are grouped around the reception desk, shouting at the harried-looking asari behind the desk. Thane recognizes her; Vessna, another volunteer. They have often taken their breaks together.

She catches his eye, jerking her head towards the door to the in patient area. Thane nods his thanks and follows Kolyat. Dr. Tozon is waiting for them on the other side. The salarian takes one look at him and quickly ushers him into an exam room. He frowns down at his omi-tool, clearly not liking the readings he sees.

“Mild shock. Body temperature is too low. Respiration is too rapid.” Dr. Tozon inputs something into his omni-tool. “Please complete an entire cycle of breathing exercises.  I will be back in a few minutes with a UV lamp.”

The first breath Thane takes made his lungs hitch. He doubles over in a coughing fit, trying to get enough air to try again. Hands gently catch him, pressing between his shoulder blades to force him to sit straight.

“Like the therapist showed you, Father. Back straight. Deep breath and hold for 5 seconds.”

Thane takes another breath. It makes his chest ache but he feels his lungs expand. He holds it for a count of five and exhales. Kolyat drops his hands as he finds his rhythm. Slowly Thane feels his pulse return to normal. He lets out a long breath before looking over at his son.

“I am sorry for my outburst. I know I frightened you.”

Kolyat's fists clench at his side. After a moment he relaxes. “You did but I understand. I am sorry about...do you think Commander Shepard-” Thane is saved from answering by the beeping of Kolyat's omni-tool. He glances down with a frown. “It's Commander Bailey. Everyone is being recalled.” Kolyat dropped his arm with a groan. “The Council is issuing a lock down for evening hours.”

Thane winced. A lock down was a logistical nightmare. All non-essential personnel had to be off the streets in a matter of hours. C-Sec was in for a long day. “Go. I will return home immediately once Dr. Tozon releases me.” His son hesitates for a moment and then nods. Thane stands and touches his shoulder. “Stay safe. I love you.”

“I will. I love you too, Father.” With head held high Kolyat leaves the exam room, dodging Dr. Tozon.

Thane strips down to his under clothes as the doctor sets up the UV lamp. As he stretches out on the bed, Dr. Tozon takes another scan. “Better. Please remain under the lamp for one hour. I will be back to check on you. If everything looks fine, I will let you return home.”

“Thank you Doctor.”

As soon as he is alone, Thane's defenses fall. He presses his fists to his eyes, forcing back the tears that threaten. Had it all been for nothing? The lung transplant, the separation and silence? He had been so sure that he would fight this war at his siha's side. Why else had he lived through the Omega 4 relay? What else had it been but Kalahira's favor, a sign that he had been forgiven, when Miranda had handed him the data pad with a medical plan to save his life? Had he assumed too much?

Kalahira, Mistress of Inscrutable Depths, I beg your forgiveness. Please, show me my path that I might serve you faithfully. An aching silence is his only answer. Oh Siha, I am so sorry.

Memories threaten to overtake him. Thane pushes them aside, ignoring the throbbing in his head, and stares blankly up at the ceiling until Dr. Tozon returns and releases him.

[homoregalis]

Little Mass Effect Canon Problems - Part One

OG Mass Effect:

It’s always bugged me that a bigger deal isn’t made of the size of humanity’s fleet at first contact. Like, the Turians had stellar empire, and the Asari and Salarians were both fairly advanced stellar races when they bumped into each other. The Quarians seemed to have a small number of worlds, mostly behind the Perseus Veil. But Humanity had a single major planet and a few outposts, but were able to force the Turians to full mobilization with that fleet. Why doesn’t anyone seemingly ask “Why?” Why don’t we have canon fluff explaining the disquiet other races felt at Humanity’s default stance, particularly given what were not a militaristic society like the Turians. There is a great scene in Star Trek: DS9 where the Ferengi bartender from the station is stuck with mostly human federation forces in a planetary siege, pinned down by the Dominion. Quark points out that humans, deprived of their niceties, are as dangerous as the fiercest Klingon. I feel like the Mass Effect universe has the opportunity for that. For someone, over the three core games, to say “Frankly, you Humans terrify the rest of the Galaxy. You’ve got all the fighting tenacity of a Krogan, with half as many organs, and twice as much self restraint. You guys could probably steam role any one of the council races on their own given reason enough and a handful of years to build your fleets. We’re all worried that, if we push you too hard, too fast, that the Krogan rebellions and the Rachni wars will look quaint, and with your genetic diversity, your capacity for science, your tactical and strategic knack, frankly, there is no armada we could array or bio-weapon we could concoct that your couldn’t counter, either by neutralizing it, or building a bigger, deadlier version to point at us.

Particularly if Wrex becomes the leader of the steadily uniting Krogan, I wish there was more examination of the Krogan-Human relationship. Humans, not being on the galactic stage during the Rebellions, and having a rocky-first contact, as well as being the most morally encumbered species by default (the Turians, Asari, and Salarians all respected the Batarian right to practice slavery when the Batarians had relations with the council, and other elements point to broader trends of humanity being more morally sensitive) I feel like Humans would have been quick to see Wrex, especially after having served with Shepard, as an individual worth interacting with. And I feel like the Krogan would have been more relaxed towards Humans, against who they couldn’t reasonably hold a grudge (their main racism seems focused against the Turians for deploying the genophage, and the Salarians for designing it.) and it feels like we’re cheated out of Humanity being a potential place for more level-headed Krogan to interact with and touch base with. Combined with Humanity’s tremendous history of war, and some other elements, I feel like there would logically be a degree of respect for the plucky new-comers among the Krogan, even if tempered by a resentment that Humanity isn’t being constrained in the way the Krogan were in their own minds. This failure to acknowledge the timeline is really obvious in Andromeda, where the Krogan treat humans as an extension of the Salarians, Turians, and also where humans like Ryder never call the Krogan on their bullshit and point out that, if they wanted to, the Krogan could be ground into dust under the Human heel, and that it was a Human project, not a citadel project that saw some of the most aspirational Krogan given a chance in an entirely new galaxy, and that the Human ark can’t help the fuck-ups of the Nexus, or of it’s very non-human command team. Seriously, Ryder should have straight punched Drack and told him she saved the Salarian Pathfinder, the only surviving pathfinder, and not one random group of hostages over another, and that it wasn’t humanity that sterilized his people, so perhaps he should get over it, grow up, and try making something of his people, because they responsible for their own futures, regardless of the actions of others.

It would be interesting to finally get a read on what a Krogan lifespan looks like. Drack is portrayed as being an old man, as a veteran of the Krogan rebellions, where as Wrex, also a veteran of the same-said, seems to be old, but no-where near his last legs, still being by far and away one of the fiercest warriors in Andromeda or the Milky Way. Drack has extensive prosthetic as a result of combat injuries (I reckon he’s old and bad-ass, but no-where near Wrex or Grunt’s level, which might explain the missteps leading to injury) It feels like Wrex probably has another 300-400 years in the tank before he’d really be in old age, where as it is suggested that Drack is well with-in “pushing it” territory. Additionally, with 600 years to work, the Milky Way races (who, as far as I’m concerned survived, and did so via a paragon method - Control or Synthesis. I prefer control - as the general tenor of Garrus’s dad when talking to Ryder’s dad suggests that Shepard isn’t reviled, and so is likely not renegade, and no mention is made of the old council dying, suggesting that the 5th fleet was indeed sacrificed) must have developed significant technological changes, including much more advanced drives mimicking, at least, the Reapers, who can move from intergalactic darkspace into the galaxy in less than a year, so where are they, and what are they doing about the folks who left 600 years ago to explore a new, and presumably much easier to now reach, galaxy?

Mass Effect: Bae

Why didn’t the initiative take QECs with connections alive back in the Milky Way? Like, as far as anyone knows (and the science points) Quantum Entanglement has no maximum range. While, notionally, you need to send some kind of instruction to decode the message sent via entanglement (instructions whose transmission is notionally limited to light-speed, although evidently no in the ME universe) the ME universe has established that QECs communicate over distances not communicable over via sub-space or such. So why didn’t they take a high-bandwidth life line? Why did the Quarians invest in an Arc? They already live in the Migrant Fleet, surely, given their means, it would be a profligate waste (never mind that the size of the Arcs is ridiculously huge for the 20,000 or so individuals they supposedly carry if the Quarian fleet is any reference.) for them to build an arc, instead of retro-fitting a ship for the purpose.

What idiot let Sloane Kelly into the Initiative, or for the matter, Dr. Kennedy, both of whom exhibit severely problematic behaviour patterns. Kelly had a history of violent insubordination, and Dr. Kennedy had professed libertarian views, which are kind of at odds with the basic premise of the Initiative, which would require a very controlling and interventionist government for quite a while as they set things up. Why the hell didn’t the Initiative take any kind of warship, and why wasn’t a significant portion of the Nexus designed to work like a ship-yard. Very few of the races involved had easy introductions to the galactic stage. the Krogans were uplifted to defeat the Rachni, the Turians were given significant powers for defeating the Krogan, the Salarians and the Asari had no particular problems, but both had to deal with the Rachni and the Krogan, and Humanity got into a war with the Turians on day-freaking-one, and no-one said “hey, lets take a few big, ugly freaking ships in case there is life in the Heleus cluster of Andromeda and it turns out not to be friendly.”

Why did they think that the Galactic equivalent of a bull in a China shop was a good place to set up the ming-vases that are fledgling colonies. The Heleus cluster exists around a massive freaking black hole, by all account being such a concentration of planets due to the black hole. Black holes are Bad! They spew radiation! They’re practically gamma-ray factories! Gamma-rays are bad!

Why the hell doesn’t !PlayerRyder tell the Initiative that “Hey, there are really those reaper things, and they’re fucking up the Milky Way, so not only will we have to fight a galactic war against the Kett, we’ll also have to make sure we’re ready if the eldritch space-computers come to eat us. Just FYI.”

Why doesn’t anyone point out the the Angarans who are being stroppy that the Initiative arrived in Heleus less than a year ago, and already they’re more trouble for the Kett than the Angara have been after DECADES of fighting. And that’s while they’re busy feuding amongst their selves, and without any of the serious military capability from back home. Like, if the initiative wanted to destroy the Angara, it would be child’s play, because we can do everything the Angara do as warfighters, better. Also, why the hell don’t the Angara have any kind of war-fleet? They’ve been fighting the Kett for decades, and they’re FTL space capable, but the idea of a warship is too big for them, so they only have little shuttles?

Also, something really important: There are several Angaran (the mayor/governor of Aya, in particular) who say to Ryder “I thought you were all like the exiles” while ignoring entirely the fact that the Roekarr and Resistance are fundamentally at odds. Why doesn’t anyone call them on their bullshit? Guess that’s it for now. Some serious complaining about things that, to me, make no sense in the Canon.

[succorcreek]

Kali Strikes the Hammer of Consciousness....on you Kali Strike the Hammer of ConsciousnessThe Goddess Kali from Hindu traditions has a hammer similar to the hammer of Xango and Thor.While a battle hammer this weapon is best struck on any person open or devotee: it's a Heaven given smack upside the head of you or me: wake up smell the coffee don't be the fool don't be a sheep run to slaughter stop being fooled be conscious awake destroy the illusions of your own naiveness and the con of the psychopath continued from Part 1http://bit.ly/2hQR1jO This is a book excerpt from The hammer as a spiritual tool metaphor is similar to the archetype of the Hurricane Tornado and Great Storm. Uninvited the Great Storm arrives in our lives and strips away all the earthy trappings. When its symbolic work is done we can only say The house got wiped out and I have my family and pets and that was all that mattered and well rebuild in a different way tomorrow." One popular anonymous revision of this is "The Barn's burnt down and no I can see the moon."The Great Storm could be anything and is symbolic and a metaphor of rapid and destructive change in a life. The hurricane or perfect storm in a life could be: Overcoming drug addiction Facing a failed marriage Being bullied at work and needing to leave a beloved job Having a crisis of the meaning of life On the other hand Sandy Hook with a complex of issues to be sorted Loss of a loved one or even loved pet Failure of a job you've been trained for in a bad economy. Whatever the symbolic hammer or storm or the metaphor of destructive and rapid change the outcome is guaranteed. The work of force causes swift change that would not have occurred otherwise. A work bully leads you to leave the job place and go back to college which opens multiple life doors for you. Facing bipolar disorder requires getting some workable manageable medications that allow you to let your creativity flourish and stop flopping. Someone important dies in your life: the death of a parent or relative leads you to greater Independence and finding yourself. The loss of a pet motivates you to start a cat foster parent program that never existed before Essentially then the work of the hammer and storm are needed for when a great change is needed. This does not alter the fact that true destruction occurred: it is sad and wrong children died at Sandy Hook and that will define us forever. The crisis event opens us to the work of the hammer and great storm in life. The end outcome of the hammer is that a work and object is formed for the first time. Without being glib lemons are turned into lemonade. A jagged piece of raw brass is formed into a usable plate. A destroyed home from a tornado becomes the impetus for Star Trek age software that can predict a tornado four hours before it happens. The Dutch built impenetrable walls to stop the ocean flooding of the Nether Lands.And with our great loss in Sandy hook so much work is accomplished; we reflect and change: Safety for children Understanding of grief Access to mental health issues Awareness of impacts of bullying on brain chemistry as with Adam Lanza Intervening with the mentally ill and contact with assault rifles as with Adam Lanza Diagnosis validation and treatment of mental disorders as with Adam Lanza The Hammer of change has arrived; it is seeking to do a work and an outcome. What is that to you personally and what does this mean for our communities?Can you hate and defile Adam Lanza? I think not because we have to first blame ourselves for: Why is the US covering their eyes to the mental health crisis? There is stigma for mental health regardless of our knowledge of the high percentage of persons who suffer. Why do we have a disgusting national profile of mental health services where most severely mentally ill are left to living under bridges? Why is raping and shooting on the rise as well as the purchase of assault weapons? How did the NRA evolve the last 20 years and stop legislation that would have eliminated assault weapons? How has the NRA convinced people that there is a communist plot in gun control to take away Constitutional rights driving the nation to 200 million persons owning guns? Why is non violence or even use of pepper spray not being promoted to individuals and communities? Why parents of the mentally ill are not informed about the dangers of exposure to guns? Why are violent murder events increasing annually on TV and in cinema but especially that of video game violence when there is so much research and evidence that it simply plainly and always leads to aggressiveness and desensitization to murder? Why are there insurance companies that have policies without mental health benefits (even when mental health disorders are brain disorders viewable in brain scans)? Why do parents still refuse mental health treatment for their children (I had such a patient in this week father refusing treatment)? Why has research on childhood psychiatric disorders and method of diagnosis lagged until actually just this year? Why have insurance companies been allowed to limit access to certain medications and therapy under the guise of only services that are standard or medically necessary are allowed when ALL services being provided professionally for bipolar schizophrenia and psychotic disorders are proven fully efficacious? Why is research lagging on treatments that actually change processes in the brain and why is the public skeptical about embracing them? This includes for certain disorders dance and movement therapy which changes brain processes art and narrative therapies and group therapies that unleash brain dysfunction of trauma and ptsd and other allied meditative and transpersonal treatments that cause changes in brain function as demonstrated by brain scans. These and nutritional elements should be embraced as "treatment." And shamefully my own state of Idaho is among the worst places for mental health:And a great question I have living in the state of Idaho: Why is it always the choice to treat problems after the fact? Incarceration occurs instead of treatment? Why is it so easily acceptable to send people to prison that did not have access to mental health treatment and then commit crimes? Why do we refuse to treat issues at the origin and prefer instead the route of punishment for mental illness? And in my state of Idaho: How can there be so many mentally ill persons in Boise with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia not being given treatment access (not just being told of limited treatment that is so hard to find and access that it is not used)?And another question: While laws on marijuana use are liberalizing in the US why are people not being informed that pot use causes bipolar kindling worsening the disorder and inhibiting benefit from medications while also causing other disorders including panic disorder? I have no opinion on the average person and what they do. However the mentally ill are getting brain damage from this! If you doubt this search "brain scans and marijuana use" and take a look at the photos.Well the hammer struck. 26 died in Newtown. What is being formed out of this?I am reminded of the story of Matthew Shepard who was killed 15 years ago in Wyoming. His three bullies and murderers brutally ghastly tortured him fully beat him and then hung him out on a barbed-wire fence isolated to die in the cold.The funeral was protested by Westboro Baptist Church. Out of the loss and dialogue after his death hate crime legislation was implemented even during a time of low acceptance of Matthews gay minority. The loss brought about change for the benefit of many. No it was not right to lose this young man. It was not God's hand striking him down. But the event was Xango's hammer striking other's hearts and souls and effecting change. Psychopaths Pirates Vampires and more: Run flee tell others! 300 topics on this listed below in the Cloud Archive: Click Here: Catalog of 100 Books Kindle Hypnosis Binaural Subliminal CDs africa brasil change consciousness hinduism kali wake up call xango #trumpbully #stopbully #trumpmentalhealth http://bit.ly/2rZ1vSp

Kali Strikes the Ham

[mypetshopworld]

Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift.

The unwanted Christmas Gift we all been there.

Christmas Time is a hectic time, and everyone rushes to get the presents and things ready to spend time with family and friends. 

It is a time where thousands of Christmas present will be returned the next day. We all been there. Receiving a Gift we didn't really want. An embarrassing pullover from Aunt Megan, an ugly pair of socks, a tie or a useless electronic gadget. All of those items are easily returned or just put in a drawer and forget about it. Some even end up in the daily trash.

Giving a pet as a Christmas Gift. A bad idea for both the future pet owner and the pet.

Giving a living animal to someone and the person does not really want it or is prepared for it, that is the moment when it becomes disastrous. After all, it is an animal with feelings, it is breathing and deserves to receive love. According to ASPCA In the days, weeks, and months following the festivities, animal shelters all over the world are inundated with animals who were given as a gift. I have to say those are the lucky ones, not every pet will be brought to a shelter. Some will be abandoned in the woods or beside the road and left to fight for themselves. Some will die, starve to death or get hit by a car. Some guardians will advertise and look for a good home, the danger here is that they might get in the wrong hands and are used for dog fights or for animal testing. Pet Shops advertise their pets and some people get supercharged with the idea of giving a puppy or kitten as a Christmas gift.

It sounds great and cute thinking of the surprise and the face including the tears. I don't want to spoil your Christmas present but giving a pet as a Christmas present is a not a good idea.

Let me tell you why it is not a good idea?

Having a pet and inviting it to become part of the family is a family decision. Not a spontaneous one it is a decision you want to have discussed and thought through. There are much more things to consider as just the video you can upload and share with your social media tribe and friends. A dog is not a toy, nor is a cat, a toy. Those are animals living beings, and yes, they do have feelings.  The internet is full of lovely videos and photos of puppies. Kittens packed in Santa cloth and puppies with Santa hats coming out of boxes. The reactions of those who receive them. You can find thousands of videos where joy comes into a person's life, and it is accompanied by happy tears. 

Why should an animal not to be considered as a gift? 

After all, we are talking about a living being and an animal that requires care and attention. The Shelters getting full after the Christmas months with animals what are given as a gift, but when people realize what kind of work and commitment is involved, they give them up. I do not say all are like this and some people are happy and commit to a lifetime keeping the pet.

What a lot of friends do not realize when they give you a pet as a Christmas Gift that the cute puppy needs training, and will do a lot of mischievous things. Without proper training and care, the puppy can become a dog that is not listening to the owner or becomes aggressive. Same goes for the aquatic part like turtles they are so cute when you buy them so tiny and small.   Unfortunately, they grow quickly out of the small Aquarium and without a proper filter system, the water becomes quickly dirty and smells. That is why many end up in the local River system.  Is it right to give pets as a gift for Christmas? We should always keep in mind some critical points before considering giving a pet as a Christmas gift. 

A Pet is a lifetime commitment and a loyal family member

Having an animal is a decision that can change a person's life a lot. It's a long-term commitment. You can't change them, you can't give them back. That's why before giving an animal to someone else, we must make sure that the person understands the responsibilities to have an animal in their life.  Even more important are they up for this challenge and are they living in an environment where they can accommodate a cat or a dog. ( check out our free dog breed calculator. Choose the right dog for you ) Therefore, the person should have verbalized the desire to adopt. Also, we must be clear that the animal gets the time and space it requires. 

Adoption is a great solution to help abandoned animals. 

Theoretically, the more animals adopted, the better for them, for shelters and for the families. Is that so? More or less. Statistics show that during Christmas or holidays, the abandonment rates increases. This is why some associations and NGOs temporarily closed adoptions on Christmas Eve.  It is essential to highlight that in the spirit of Christmas, there are non-certified breeders that sell pets before they are ready to be taken from the mom.  Those pets come without their proper vaccinations, and without worrying about their welfare. This will obviously translate into behavioural issues and health problems of the animals.  Most of the Pets bought on the streets will die as they are breed for business and not for the well being of a Pet.  "Pets should not be considered a commodity."

Download my Christmas Gift for you. 3 Free Ebooks. All you need to know about Pets. Cats. Dogs.

For the love of Dogs For the love of Cats For the love of Pets

Puppies and Kids are great together but consider a dog or a cat is not a toy. 

There are many cases of children who wish to have a dog as a pet animal, and there is really nothing wrong with that. It is one of the best things that can happen to a child having a dog or cat around and grow up with it.  Who hasn't heard that speech saying if you have a dog, you'll have to take care of him? However, it is essential to remember that they are children and that they cannot be 100% responsible for a dog. It is, in the end, the responsibility of the parent.  When adopting an animal, parents should be aware that it is their responsibility, and the fact that the child does not care for the dog is no excuse for abandonment. It is a family decision I can not stretch it often enough. Pets, in my opinion, should only be given as a gift by parents to the kids, at least they have put some thought into it. 

Pets as a Christmas Gift. Consider all changes and challenges. 

*If you are determined to give a pet to make a person happy, old or young consider different factors.  *Is there enough space for the pet?  *Can the person or family accommodate a pet? *How many hours a day is a pet alone. If more than 8 hours do not give a pet as a gift.  *Is the person or family able to accommodate the vet and food expenses?  *Make sure the person is not allergic to pets.  *Does the person have experience with pets?  *If the pet is a dog, is the person or family able to walk with the dog regular?  There are a lot of things to consider and please think before you make the decision to give someone a pet as a Christmas gift. Understand the pet like a dog or cat will be hurting if it is returned after Christmas.  Pets have feelings and emotion the same as you. It will not understand why you leave it alone in a shelter and abandon it. If you want to give a pet as a gift, you assure that the person is ready for the commitments and responsibilities. 

It's time to think about the pet's arrival at the new home.

If it's a puppy or a kitten, you should remember that they will be separated from their mother and siblings.

They will come to a home full of people and stimuli that will probably make it more than uncomfortable for the pet. The first night it will cry and call out for the siblings and the mom. You might not get much sleep. You must have a bed or a playpen prepared in a quiet place in the house where they can sleep and be away from excessive noise and groping. In short, a comfortable place to hide.  You should also have toys and food. An alternative way to avoid the stress of arriving at a new home is to surprise the person with an adoption certificate. This is a good way for the future pet owner to be ready. The adaptation will be less stressful, and the future owner will have time to choose a pet, accessories and bed himself. The future Pet owner can also prepare himself or the family mentally for the new member. 

Consider adoption before you buy from a Breeder.  

If you buy from a Breeder, please make sure it is a certified Breeder and not an illegal Breeder who breeds pets for the sake of money.  Choosing adoption over buying is a wise decision.  In addition to being a much cheaper option, we'll stop financing illegal breeders and avoid indiscriminate dog breeding.  You will also save an abandoned and homeless pet and give space in the shelter for another pet to arrive.  In 2018 this video footage went viral RSPCA posted it. Everyone was so touched even Snoop Dogg and Andrew Neil offered to take the dog in. But if that person's wish is to have a specific breed, we recommend you to look for a kennel that has all the papers.  It will give a guarantee that it is reproducing healthy pets with specific veterinary tests, and that has a hygienic space that favours the welfare of the puppies. 

You will be surprised how many dog breeds are abandoned every day, and you can find in a shelter. Go on the internet and look around in animal shelters near your area. I got our Doberman and German Shepard from a shelter. Alone in the US, there are yearly around 1.6 Million Animals euthanized. 670.000 Dogs and 860.000 Cats. Both of my dogs have been Christmas gifts and sent to the shelter with only 5 months old. I guess the owners did not consider how big they get, and that they will chew and destroy in their puppyhood a lot of things they can get their teeth on.  Remember that many pet breeds are also abandoned and need a home. In a pet who comes from an animal shelter, you find a loyal companion.  We hope that all this information will help you evaluate whether or not it is positive to give pets as a Christmas Gift.  And how you can assure the pet has found a family or owner for life.  If you liked my blog Ho Ho Ho it's Christmas Time. The cruellest thing you can do on Christmas. A Dog is not a Toy. Why it is a bad idea to give an animal as a Christmas Gift. Please like and share with family and friends. Visit our Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter page.  I wish you a wonderful a festive Season. 

My Christmas Gift to you. 3 Free ebooks instant download. All you need to know about Pets, Dogs, Cats

For the love of cats click here For the love of dogs click here For the love of pets click here All yours Melanie  Source Information https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics Approximately 6.5 million companion animals enter U.S. animal shelters nationwide every year. Of those, approximately 3.3 million are dogs and 3.2 million are cats.  We estimate that the number of dogs and cats entering U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 7.2 million in 2011.  The biggest decline was in dogs (from 3.9 million to 3.3 million).Each year, approximately 1.5 million shelter animals are euthanized (670,000 dogs and 860,000 cats).  The number of dogs and cats euthanized in U.S. shelters annually has declined from approximately 2.6 million in 2011.  This decline can be partially explained by an increase in the percentage of animals adopted and an increase in the number of stray animals successfully returned to their owners.Approximately 3.2 million shelter animals are adopted each year (1.6 million dogs and 1.6 million cats).About 710,000 animals who enter shelters as strays are returned to their owners. Of those, 620,000 are dogs and only 90,000 are cats. Read the full article