#IT'S AS IF. HIM NOT GROWING. ISN'T THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE WHOLE GODDAMN CHARACTER ARC. OR THE FACT IT'S REALISTIC CHARACTER GROWTH 😱

[rainofthetwilight]

saw someone on nintwt talking abt arin. List of people that make me wanna kill myself 😁😁😁😁

[protemporescitor]

"Um Ackchyually…"

Rant incoming. Gird your loins.

It's like every time Cloud does anything even remotely cool-looking, someone in the fandom will invariably go "um achshyelly he can't be doing kewl stuff because you see he's actually a massive dweeb and…"

Every goddamn time, like clockwork. I swear, it's become a kind of mass neurosis for the fandom at this point.

I'm sorry, but "Oh he's just some try-hard dweeb" is such a paltry reading of this character, one that only furthers my belief that this fandom is mentally unequipped to parse any real kind of psychological complexity.

Yes, he can be unsubtle, envious, socially awkward, even dorky at times. That's part of the character's appeal. His extremely human frailties in that regard are what make him such an endearing and interesting (dare I say relatable?) character. He's also the man who ended the world's greatest soldier, so what does that say about his critics, the fans who believe he's just some feckless dork while ignoring that side of him entirely?

Now, lest you think I'm just headcanoning the character this way and talking nonsense, here's a quote from Yoshinori Kitase himself: "He isn't a straightforward hero like Superman; rather, he has lots of mysteries, self-doubts, and a real dark side."

What truly grinds my gears is the smug, gratingly knowing insinuation that portraying Cloud as a badass is somehow "wrong", or naïve characterization at best. and that only works which portray him some other way (awkward, goofy, insecure, etc…) are showing you the "real" character. And that, to me, is just nonsense.

Here's another example:

Same character, two different aesthetics, with different traits being emphasized. Both depictions are considered canon.

So the real question is, why does it have to be one or the other? Why is it so hard for people to reconcile the two?

I sometimes think we're in need of two separate fandoms, one for fans who want to Cloud continue to grow and develop as a character (like me), and the fans who just want him to remain the same awkward, insecure boy forever, i.e. people who prefer cartoon FFVII, and those who care about mythology and prefer to look at the story as a kind of bildungsroman. In any case, there's a reason why I keep underlining the darker, more feral side of this character, even to the point of over-emphasis, because it's at risk of falling prey to a fandom pseudo-narrative that simply rings hollow. Remember, his proper animal motif is that of a wolf, and that "cloud", as a verb, means "to darken, to obscure".

(Not just any wolf, by the way. The wolf.)

Lastly, I get the distinct feeling that we don't mean the same thing by "cool". Presumably, by "cool", some of you mean "cold and uncaring", which he is not. (Or possibly suave, depending on your definition.) The other is more a question of aesthetic cool on the one hand and valour on the other, both of which he possesses in spades. Cloud keeps taking on fights he shouldn't win, and yet often comes out on top, anyway, usually while pulling one insanely cool-looking stunt or another (e.g. the Shinra building escape, or putting a stop to Sephiroth's plans even without SOLDIER enhancements.)

It doesn't matter how much dorky nonsense the world tries to put him through; he'll always remain effortlessly cool in that regard.

While I've got your attention, I want to bring up one more thing related to mischaracterization (or rather, misperception): Aerith's temperament in Advent Children, specifically the idea that she's lost her original characterization and is just being depicted as some simplistic, incorruptible pure pureness (tm) messiah figure. Again, I don't think that's right. (It might be true for Kingdom Hearts, but tbh I never cared much for that series, so I'll refrain from further comment.) It's a long-running bit of accepted wisdom which, as far as I can tell, has no basis in reality.

The truth is, Advent Children's brief running time means there isn't a whole lot of opportunity for Square to focus on character building, but I contend that both Cloud and Aerith's original characterization is intact, just handled in a more subtle way. Note her comportment in scenes like the one above. She still evinces the same kind of playfulness as she did when she was among the living. For example, when Cloud tells her that he wants to be forgiven, her reaction is to ask "By whom?" in her usual, cheeky manner. She's still subtly poking fun at Cloud's tendency to take himself too seriously, while hinting at the fact that she doesn't blame him for her death. Or later, when she tells Zack "I don't want a kid that big!" She's still very much cracking wise, even in the Lifestream.

If she comes across as more ethereal than she did in the original story, well, that's because she is. Given that she's now in the afterlife, being that scrappy, streetwise flower girl from the slums is obviously less of a concern for her, at least as far as actual, physical scraps are concerned. But it's clear that her original personality is very much intact.

The same is true of Cloud and fans who grouse that he's being "emo"* in Advent Children, which is equally false. (*Lord help me but I detest that word. Being emo is when you're moping about listening to MCR after your girlfriend broke up with you, not dealing with the shattered pieces of your life and mourning the deaths of two of your closest friends. To call that "emo" is insulting to the character and narrative alike. In fact, it's an insult to language itself. If you care about good writing at all, I implore you to let this dreary, monosyllabic pustule of a word wither away and die in favour of more literate, meaningful descriptors.) He might be far more world-weary and disillusioned at this stage, but he still show various shades of mood (gentle, furious, defiant, haughty, protective, uncertain, disdainful, imperious, even cocky, much like OG FFVII):

Lastly, griping about this also denies character development and growth commensurate with where both of them are at this point in the story. During the events of the original FFVII, Cloud is still boyish and uncertain much of the time, whereas by the time Advent Children rolls around, he is older and tempered by experience. The same goes for Aerith. Same essential character, just acting according to her newfound circumstances.

I think that's it for now. I leave this rant here in the vain hope that somebody has something more interesting to say than "lawl emo chocobo-head boi!!!" for the millionth time.

I won't hold my breath, but it would be nice to be proven wrong for a change.

[mechanical-aristocrat]

[OOC:]

Okay I think I'm ready to talk about that leaked light cone now:

I can criticize the potential continuity error it creates all I want, but god fucking damn it this image is too compelling for me to be even a little bit angry.

THIS is how you do a fucking light cone, THIS is how you take advantage of the inherently interesting concept behind them to deliver a deeper level of characterization. Very few other light cones in the game do that anywhere near as well as this one does, and I'm going to try my best to explain why. (although forgive me if I'm still a bit scatterbrained, this image makes me so goddamn emotional that it's genuinely difficult to think clearly)

It seems very safe to assume this is depicting Screwllum soon after he became sentient, experiencing the beauty of life and existence for the first time. The thing is, it isn't an entirely positive experience; he's noticeably damaged with moss, plants, and fungi growing all over him, which can't be comfortable (just imagining what that must feel like makes my skin crawl). He was probably left in this forest by some one (or some thing) that didn't give a singular fuck about him, that wanted him to deteriorate and be forgotten about.

And yet, his body language and the overall tone of the piece suggests that he doesn't mind. He's incredibly calm (the butterflies wouldn't be there if he wasn't, he's made himself a safe place for them to rest), looking at the viewer as if the "camera" has placed us in the POV of a small woodland creature, the way his head is tilted to the side implying a sense of curiosity and/or fascination.

The tone of this image and of the character as a whole is one of awe and wonder that doesn't shy away from the negatives. It's what makes Screwllum the perfect foil to Emperor Rupert I, because while they both began their sentience in a similar manner, abandoned by a cold and uncaring universe and left to rot, Rupert was consumed by its hatred and motivated by revenge, whereas Screwllum was able to see life for what it was, imperfect but worth cherishing.

The most impressive part about it, however, is that all of this can be inferred without even having access to the light cone's name or lore description (at least as far as I'm aware). The light cones I would have considered my favorites previously, "Something Irreplaceable" and "Shared Feeling", partially rely on the descriptions to be compelling, especially with the former example because the description is honestly my favorite part. The visual storytelling in this leak is on fucking point, and I can't wait to read the description because it'll probably make me love it even more than I already do.

Screwllum nation is winning with this.

[romicat]

So, I understand where people who are calling NYX racist are coming from, but I don't fully agree with that.

Instead, I think the problem is that it fails at hitting that same intersection of real life and fictionalized discrimination that both the Ms Marvel solo books and even the goddamn MCU did really well. That's something most X-Men titles fail to do despite many of their characters being marginalized minorities on top of being Mutants. It comes with the territory, X-Men has always been pretty bad at that stuff.

I don't think it's intentional, more it's misguided and toned deaf.

To break it down some: Sophie's problem with David at the start is that she thinks he's a sell out.

Mutants selling out to humans to make their own lives easier is a theme in some of the other X Books going on right now too. Becca refuses to leave her team and go home after her family pulls strings to get her out of jail, and instead throws herself into the thick of it, unwilling to put her own comfort first. And X-Factor is all about this.

^this is what Sophie is accusing David of.

Literally Kamala repeats it a few issues later for those that missed it. David for his part isn't actually doing that.

In a way he's trying to find his own answers to his own questions.

He can't jeopardize his position. He tries not to rock the boat too much, even as he's going out to paint some mutant graffiti. He takes Sophie's attacks and tries to *calmly* argue to his bosses against putting mutants in ghettos using data and facts.

Issue 1 is Sophie laying into David, Issue 4 is his rebuke, it's him deciding to risk his career to do what he feels is right. In Issue 4 he finds his own answer: "Xavier's dream wasn't his to burn."

----------------------

Yes, it sucks that they had to invent a whole new cousin for Kamala to be an anti-mutant member of the Truthseekers. They really didn't need to do that, but you can tell what it is that they were trying to do with that.

An amount of feminists and cisgender queer people have started to turn against trans people. For many years now there's been a growing movement of far right nationalist Hispanic immigrants in the states. One of the biggest voices in the far right is a Jewish man and another is an openly gay man and yet another is a black woman.

Kamala's cousin isn't a Muslim terrorist, he's a PoC who joined a far right extremist organization based off of the Proud Boys and the Guardian Angels. If ever they were to get their way with Mutants, the leopards would turn on him next. . . But you know if I were writing NYX I probably wouldn't have him bomb New York. That's kind of toned deaf. (Cough also Wilson literally introduced another Muslim villain who used explosions and talked a lot about purity first cough)

Despite what they were trying to do that entire subplot feels unnecessary. As does Kamala "learning" about mutant discrimination like she's some wide eyed ignorant little girl. I saw a comment on reddit that described it as "discrimination power scaling" and that basically hits the nail in the head.

Going back to one of my earlier point, X-Men books are really bad at that stuff. It's not something unique to NYX or its writers. It's the kind of stuff I expected would happen when Kamala was retconned as a mutant.

The Ms Marvel books deal with how all these different parts of Kamala's heritage and identity come together. How she's something wholly distinct from any one of them. Her identity is larger than the sum of her parts.

But in NYX, and the mass majority of X-Men comics really, a character's identity as a mutant supersedes anything else. At the core that's what's wrong with NYX.

Compare this to the MCU show where, yeah Damage Control would've gone after Kamala even if she wasn't visibly brown. But because she was, they racially profiled her. And because she was a Muslim they got a leg up since the FBI had already been watching Kamala's mosque long before that investigation. They went after Kamala for being a little reckless with her power as hard as they did Peter for potential murder.

Sorry for what might be another late night rant that might only make sense to me in my sleepy state. I'll try to clean up the text some time tomorrow.

I just had to get my thoughts out there because while I think NYX is bad, I don't think simply boiling it down to "Sophie is racist" or "the writers are racist" or "the characters are coming from a place of racism" is helpful. I understand why that's the immediate reaction a lot of people have. But I think the issues in NYX are in large part the issues with every X-Men series. . . Well, with the exception of Momoko's Demon Days and more recently maybe her run on Ultimate X-Men. I say maybe because we still need to see if it can stick the landing.

[glitterguts13]

You know how you did a review for every genshin guys on how loud they'd be giving birth? Can you do one for hsr guys too?

Coming right up! Doing this by Path type! Also, a friendly reminder, all characters are assumed to be 18+ here.

The Hunt Boothill 8/10 Yaps through the whole thing, swearing up a storm. He's a nervous talker, and he's chattering through the whole thing, even if there's no one around to listen, he's ranting at nothing. Pain isn't new to him, but having something ripping through your (metal????) insides is a bitch no matter who you are. Not a lot of screaming, just yelling and swearing.

Dr. Ratio 3/10 Slow, deep, even breaths. He knows it's pointless to waste time on screaming, it isn't going to help. Gets only slightly louder when it comes time to push, and that's just because he's panting in short, shallow bursts. The typical, ah, ah, ah, ah panting.

Yanqing 7/10 Getting stabbed is so much easier than this. He's shouting, begging for someone to help him because this is too much. It feels like he's being ripped in half, and everyone is going to know.

Dan Heng 5/10 Starts off very quiet. A few quiet groans here and there, but mostly keeps to himself. Switches up pretty fast near the end, when he starts to crown, it's all downhill from there, and it's yelling and swearing up a storm. Catches everyone off guard to hear him acting so out of character.

Preservation

Aventurine 9/10 Very loud, lots of whimpering and moaning at the start. Thinks he can handle it, but swiftly turns into a screaming, sobbing, gagging mess. He's been in so much pain, so many times, and it all just seems to come rushing back- A lot of trauma around the agony he feels, which just causes him to scream more.

Gepard 6/10 Lots of low, drawn-out moaning. It's deep and guttural, keeping him anchored to the moment. Not much screaming, but a few shouts and groans as he's actively pushing.

Welt 5/10 Very stereotypical Hollywood movie Lamaze breathing sounds. Very controlled sounds? At no point does he fully lose his cool, but does start shouting a bit near the end.

Luka 7/10 Another goddamn yapper. He's rambling away through the whole thing, only stopping to breathe or moan, and ends up screaming his way through the actual birth with very little downtime to actually breathe.

Sampo 6/10 Laughs through a lot of it because he isn't really sure what else to do. It hurts, it hurts bad and all he can do is laugh about how ridiculous the whole situation is. Aha really must enough watching him suffer.

Erudition

Argenti 6/10 Keeps decently calm. A lot of quiet moans, some deep panting, and slowly grows louder as it comes to it's peak. Babbles a lot of nothing, because it keeps his mind off the pain, but slips back into panting and moaning as the head starts to peak out.

Jing Yuan 4/10 The picture of control. He handles the pain well, stopping to moan time to time, rocking his hips back and forth. Starts to shout a bit near the end, but never gets to the point of screaming.

Destruction

Blade 1/10 I'm not sure he even feels it?? Probably just cuts it out of himself because he can't die anyway-

Arlan 8/10 The whole space station is well aware Arlan is giving birth. He's gagging and choking on his own spit and tears, screaming for some sort of pain relief because Aeons why does it hurt this bad??

Misha 9/10 Turns out that giving birth in the dreamscape is in fact just as painful as giving birth IRL. Throws up a lot, has tons of hip pain, and screams bloody murder through the entire process. His body feels like it's being torn in two.

Abundance

Loucha ??/10 I'll update this when the game actually TELLS ME SOMETHING ABOUT HIM

Gallagher 5/10 Moaning and groaning like an old man. A few screams near the end, but it's mostly heavy breathing and panting.

[sapphire-weapon]

I've been thinking about this for the past few days, and one of the things that really bothers me about the whole "age gap" discourse re: EagleOne is that, by buying into it, you automatically erase a huge part of Leon's character.

Leon might have been on the planet for 27 years, but he still has the maturity of a 21 year old.

After Raccoon City, Leon basically falls out of time and space. He's all but completely removed from society and has his growth as an adult completely stunted by the CIA.

It isn't as though he's spent the last six years gaining practical wisdom and real-world life experience that puts him at some sort of advantage over Ashley and makes any relationship between them cunningly manipulative on Leon's part.

Leon wasn't out dating and socializing and learning the ways of the world and growing alongside heartbreaks and disappointments and setbacks and victories and achievements. Leon has spent the last six years locked in a room with Jack fucking Krauser and getting the shit beat out of him -- that is, when he wasn't being sent off to active war zones.

Like -- do people even realize the actual depths of what Leon's training entailed? Krauser wasn't just a sparring partner teaching him about edged blade combat. Leon was actually literally tortured in the most literal dictionary definition of the word. He had to be, in case he was ever caught and tortured by the enemy -- he had to be trained on how to take it and not crack.

Leon not actually being in STRATCOM is actually really important to his character. He wasn't sitting in a war room digging through intel and pursuing active leads in an investigation against Umbrella. Prior to the formation of the DSO, he was a military combat unit -- the most elite one that the US government has ever produced. He is a weapon in every sense of the word. He's probably had to go through boot camp with both Navy SEALs and Army Green Berets and then some.

Basically, Leon was an experiment conducted by the US government to see if it was possible to create a soldier capable of wiping out entire military units on his own (which is, incidentally, probably the how and why behind his involvement in Remake's version of Operation Javier. He was chosen to be sent in after Krauser's unit was wiped out for a reason.). He probably wasn't the only one to have been put through this gauntlet during this experiment, but he was the only one who made it through to the other side. He's an anomaly; he's the exception that proves the rule.

None of that is conducive to fostering his growth as an adult or as a human being -- and that was exactly the point. The idea was probably to try to strip him of as much of his humanity as possible in order to create a weapon who would mindlessly follow orders and never question the hows or whys. This is also probably why his "softness" was a huge point of contention for Krauser, who knew exactly what the intentions for Leon actually were. After all, he knew Leon's potential better than anyone.

That's why Leon is so stoic and serious and almost joyless at the start of RE4make. He hasn't lived as a human being living among other human beings in six years; he's been forged into a weapon instead. The last time that he felt like and acted like and lived like a person was when he was 21. He hasn't grown past that point.

That's why his reaction to and treatment of Ada is so goddamn immature.

And it's also why it's such a big deal when Ashley gets that first smile out of him. When Ashley brings out the sides of Leon that we haven't seen since early-to-mid RE2make, she's returning pieces of his humanity to him.

The government had Leon convinced that he wasn't the same person anymore -- that the kind-hearted guy who went into law enforcement out of a genuine desire to help and protect people was dead -- because he's been in an echo chamber and having that idea reinforced to him over and over and over again. Ada saw right through it and knew that the old Leon was still alive in there. And Ashley brought him to the surface and gave him a second chance at life.

On paper, Leon and Ashley have a seven year age gap. In practice and reality, there's only one year separating them. Ashley is 20, and Leon is still only 21.

Anyone who crows about an age gap between Leon and Ashley is outing themselves as someone who doesn't understand Leon's character at all and can be safely and thoroughly ignored.

[getvalentined]

For the ask game:

Vincent: 5, 7, 9, and 50 (any or all!)

[For the Random Character Asks game.]

5. Best personality trait?

Vincent's best personality trait is probably his intense sense of responsibility, which comes with a peerless level of determination to do whatever it takes to set things right in whatever way he can. This is also his worst personality trait. It pushed him to leave Nibelheim and strike down Hojo for what he allowed Sephiroth to do, and also kept him in the coffin in the first place based on the assumption that everything he touched fell apart. It makes him reliable to a fault in some situations, and utterly useless in others.

It's both the driving force behind his entire existence, and the weighted chain around his neck that keeps him anchored in place, unable to move forward.

7. Age/height/weight headcanon?

We have a canon birthdate for Vincent, contrary to the contradictory Ultimanias' timelines, down to the day of the week based on the real-world calendar for the same date, so we have his canon age at any time and I align with that. Vincent Valentine was born on Friday, October 13th, 1950. He's fifty-seven years old in December of 2007, meaning he was born in 1950, and yes, October 13th of that year fell on a Friday.

He's also twenty-seven until the end of time, but I've written a whole fic about that.

Vincent believes he's 184cm tall, which puts him at just over 6' in Imperial, and this was correct at the time of his death; it is not correct anymore, although Vincent doesn't know that until sometime postcanon. I've talked about it before, but my Vincent had an issue where his skeleton didn't completely scale back down after his first traumatic transformation into Galian, so his arms and legs are disproportionately long (and he already had legs for days) and he's just slightly larger all around, putting him at 194cm or just shy of 6'4" in the present.

After the incident with Omega, he actually starts growing, albeit inconsistently and very slowly; little by little, Vincent is developing into a shape befitting the role into which he was cast when Chaos' consciousness returned to the Lifestream, because at that point Vincent isn't a vessel for the Weapon anymore, he is the Weapon unto himself. The original animal consciousness is gone forever, and the role now belongs entirely to Vincent. It takes a long time for him to pick up on the physiological changes, and everyone except Nanaki and Genesis are dead by the time it starts to become noticeable to anyone else, but he'll top out around 225cm/7'5" not counting the horns and wings.

Vincent's weight is a goddamn mystery because his bone and muscle density are all fucked up because of mako exposure, while he's simultaneously built like a goddamn reed and has the shoulder to waist ratio of a dorito. It also fluctuates slightly between transformations for a while due to incomplete or inconsistent reversion, although those issues eventually resolve. It's anyone's guess, really.

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character?

I've kinda talked about this before, but basically I was super interested in Vincent from the moment I learned of his existence, and fell in love the first time I activated his limit break and realized I was dealing with someone with a much more complicated story than previously let on. I have only fallen deeper in love with the character since then—he's smart and snarky and socially awkward, with a specific sort of trauma, both previous and impending, that makes him compelling to me specifically for very personal reasons—and he remains my favorite fictional character of all time.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out?

Vincent canonically blocked out all the memories of Lucrecia's involvement in his seven-year stint as a victim of science, although most of those come back eventually. My Vincent actually has a staggeringly clear memory, to the point that he remembers being on the operating table while Hojo removed all his organs, at least during the term that Hojo was keeping him conscious for it, and is also pretty cognizant of what he does when transformed.

Postcanon, the things he has blocked out are very intentionally blocked out, can inadvertently be brought back at any time with the right trigger, and are mostly related to the experiments. There was a short term when Hojo was still working on Vincent that he would instigate a transformation and run him through the sim on the bottom level of the research facility to observe the monsters, or occasionally just throw Vincent in there once the mako enhancements finally "stuck" in order to get data for Project 0, and Vincent has blocked most of that out. He knows it happened, but the details are either a blur, or he's pushed them so far back that he might as well have naturally forgotten.

[review-anon]

Okay then, start with Hibiki, since she's older.

And also the one I'm more calmer on.

Hibiki when she was introduced everyone thought she would be the bitch sister nobody would like and Kanade would be the one everyone loves and while that remains the case its not universal.

It doesn't help she's like Hiyoko on steroids as she bullies and torments her little sister Kanade, is extremely immature and when the going gets tough she buckles under pressure. Heck the first two deaths could be blamed on Hibiki as Setsuka suggested the goddamn rave party which everyone was included in which led to Yuri dying. And then she again suggested a pop concert for Melody Rhyhmn which led to Koroko dying. Both were cases of trying to cheer Hibiki up and all it resulted in was Void striking and death.

But in a shocking twist at the end of Chapter 2, Hibiki realised she was indirectly the reason why Yuri and Koroko had to die, as it was her inability to be mature so she decided from Chapter 3 onwards she was gonna get herself a backbone, grow the fuck up and become a better person. This alone makes her miles better then Hiyoko since Hiyoko never openly decleared that her character development was way too subtle. Thus Chapter 3 had Hibiki be more sociable, more supportive as since Yuki was starting to feel the strain of the Killing Game she decided to help cheer him up, and becoming much more dependable of a person. But this was a character development. In Chapter 3.

This goes one or two ways, its either like Fuyuhiko, she sticks and becomes a survivor or its like anyone else where this is a fast ticket to death. But even that couldn't have predicted one for the absolute train disaster that Chapter 3 was. Heck if when Creeper does his Trial countdown in December if this isn't the least favourite then there is issues. Well I suspect SDRA2's Chapter 4 could rival it due to how much he despises Nikei but that's neither here nor there.

Basically not only was Hibiki fucked over even more then Tenko was but she got the mother of all manwha moments. I mean her sister being a serial killer is one thing, but turning her into a doll that sounds like its ripped straight out of a lime perverted fanfiction? The incest? And because again we are in peak manwha here, Hibiki due to how it happened was considered Setsuka's killer and was executed making this entire chapter one miserable moment.

Some feel like Hibiki was done dirty and decided to redeem her like Bubbles and Creeper have. Me? I just felt Hibiki's whole thing was emotionally manipulative to the point I feel dull. Now bear in mind SDRA2's Chapter 3 was shortly after I read The Mistake's Chapter 3 so I was already mentally dulled during the whole chapter. I honestly wished LINUJ didn't decided to be a Seesaw stan and stuck to his original plan with the twins where both Hibiki and Kanade had a very toxic relationship with each other as it would have made things a heck a lot more interesting, rather then Kanade being Korekiyo 2.0.

Obviously A Student Out of Time is the big one on redeeming Hibiki as she was rescued and became a core member of the Quantum Crew, to the point I did a entire character analysis on her. Survivor's Hibiki though was good as well as she also has to grapple with the whole dealing with Kanade and deciding she was gonna learn how to fight from Kaede and is now a honourary member of the V3 Kids. Season 3 will have many good things with her.

No my sketches won't have Hibiki making a massive character development and become better because I feel I won't be able to do what Bubbles and Creeper have already done but better.

Overall, like many I'm disappointed how wasted Hibiki was but I also feel if she wasn't wasted, she would have been an unpopular character due to how villainised bullies are. Heck I wouldn't be surprised her bullying Kanade is why LINUJ killed her off.

[agonycrossbow]

I've been thinking about this for the past few days, and one of the things that really bothers me about the whole "age gap" discourse re: EagleOne is that, by buying into it, you automatically erase a huge part of Leon's character.

Leon might have been on the planet for 27 years, but he still has the maturity of a 21 year old.

After Raccoon City, Leon basically falls out of time and space. He's all but completely removed from society and has his growth as an adult completely stunted by the CIA.

It isn't as though he's spent the last six years gaining practical wisdom and real-world life experience that puts him at some sort of advantage over Ashley and makes any relationship between them cunningly manipulative on Leon's part.

Leon wasn't out dating and socializing and learning the ways of the world and growing alongside heartbreaks and disappointments and setbacks and victories and achievements. Leon has spent the last six years locked in a room with Jack fucking Krauser and getting the shit beat out of him -- that is, when he wasn't being sent off to active war zones.

Like -- do people even realize the actual depths of what Leon's training entailed? Krauser wasn't just a sparring partner teaching him about edged blade combat. Leon was actually literally tortured in the most literal dictionary definition of the word. He had to be, in case he was ever caught and tortured by the enemy -- he had to be trained on how to take it and not crack.

Leon not actually being in STRATCOM is actually really important to his character. He wasn't sitting in a war room digging through intel and pursuing active leads in an investigation against Umbrella. Prior to the formation of the DSO, he was a military combat unit -- the most elite one that the US government has ever produced. He is a weapon in every sense of the word. He's probably had to go through boot camp with both Navy SEALs and Army Green Berets and then some.

Basically, Leon was an experiment conducted by the US government to see if it was possible to create a soldier capable of wiping out entire military units on his own (which is, incidentally, probably the how and why behind his involvement in Remake's version of Operation Javier. He was chosen to be sent in after Krauser's unit was wiped out for a reason.). He probably wasn't the only one to have been put through this gauntlet during this experiment, but he was the only one who made it through to the other side. He's an anomaly; he's the exception that proves the rule.

None of that is conducive to fostering his growth as an adult or as a human being -- and that was exactly the point. The idea was probably to try to strip him of as much of his humanity as possible in order to create a weapon who would mindlessly follow orders and never question the hows or whys. This is also probably why his "softness" was a huge point of contention for Krauser, who knew exactly what the intentions for Leon actually were. After all, he knew Leon's potential better than anyone.

That's why Leon is so stoic and serious and almost joyless at the start of RE4make. He hasn't lived as a human being living among other human beings in six years; he's been forged into a weapon instead. The last time that he felt like and acted like and lived like a person was when he was 21. He hasn't grown past that point.

That's why his reaction to and treatment of Ada is so goddamn immature.

And it's also why it's such a big deal when Ashley gets that first smile out of him. When Ashley brings out the sides of Leon that we haven't seen since early-to-mid RE2make, she's returning pieces of his humanity to him.

The government had Leon convinced that he wasn't the same person anymore -- that the kind-hearted guy who went into law enforcement out of a genuine desire to help and protect people was dead -- because he's been in an echo chamber and having that idea reinforced to him over and over and over again. Ada saw right through it and knew that the old Leon was still alive in there. And Ashley brought him to the surface and gave him a second chance at life.

On paper, Leon and Ashley have a seven year age gap. In practice and reality, there's only one year separating them. Ashley is 20, and Leon is still only 21.

Anyone who crows about an age gap between Leon and Ashley is outing themselves as someone who doesn't understand Leon's character at all and can be safely and thoroughly ignored.

[senka-mesecine]

Ok but because you brought up kinky over are there any platoon characters u think would be into spanking? Sorry if that sounds weird 💀

-

― I'll be damned if Chris at first didn't even really connect the dots and figure that spanking can be and is at times sexual in nature. In some jumbled up recess of his mind he downright thought it's an actual corporal punishment for misbehavior not unlike a slap; you know, John Wayne in an old movie taking the misbehaving female co-star across the lap for comedic effect. That's the vision Taylor might've grew up on. It's not that he's a prude. Not that he's disconnected. It's simply that he's more unspoiled than he seems or than he likes to portray himself as. His thoughts are uncharacteristically pure and he's a product of the times, at least at the start of the war. It's only when some of the (very amused) boys in his squad take it upon themselves to explain (and maybe bust out the odd Playboy magazine for a demonstration) does the goddamn obvious become clear and Taylor can't believe it was under his nose the whole time. King and Rhah might be there laughing that college boy never heard of something like this before and how it's no wonder he dropped out if things were so sterile and boring out there on campus if their boy Taylor never even caught wind of someone getting their ass smacked for fun at some party somewhere. -"Man, I'd leave too."- King might cackle as Taylor looks on befuddled --- it takes a while for this newfound fascination and kink to ripen in his mind and he probably didn't stumble into the fetish on his own. Like many things, it was thrust upon him and he developed around it.

― To expand on the notion, Rhah is not only into spanking, he'll infect everyone else with the kink too, case and point, newbie, freshblood Taylor. He might be there falling into a full on narrative sequence where he explains precisely how he did it to someone in painfully arduous detail. His voice will grow deep, he'll immerse himself into the tale, might use a pillow off of his bunk bed placed upon his lap or any other fitting object to occasionally include a visual bit of aid as his hand comes smacking down on the surface startling everyone listening to him...which was Rhah's goal in the first place. It's hard to assess how truthful his anecdotes really are at times due to their often pompous and theatric nature, but he tells them with so much passion and zeal one entirely believes what they're hearing because he'll describe every sensation, sound and feeling, giving one the impression they're almost intruding on someone's foreplay while listening to Vermucci hold court. Someone like King (who has the same kink, perhaps simply through association) might even occasionally comment with a smile how 'Rhah's full of shit.' to which Rhah might reply that he's not here to convince naysers of what's right or wrong all while he's spent the better half of the hour doing just that. Ultimately, one can conclude that these boys possess the fetish and mainly spend their time idly fantasizing about it amongst themselves to pass the time rather than actually doing any of it.

― O'Neill talks about spanking in theory but he never actually does it...not because he can't but because being the party that gives isn't actually his kink. Not in actuality. He's all about the whole braggadocious habit he has where he's all talking the talk and never really walking the walk, you know? Telling you how you need to be put across a knee (probably not really even specificizing whose knee exactly because that would leave you with expectations) how all that pretty ass of yours needs is a hand across it (again...very broad and general), how one of these days you'll be given a taste of that O'Neill authority if he feels particularly keen on annoying you and eliciting a reaction of any variety all while acting overall smarmy and lecherous to push your buttons but chances are no spanking really happens because this is another macho facade mainly intended to give off the impression he's top dog dishing out some sort of vague discipline; truth of the matter is that what gets him really hot is the notion of you doing it to him but he can't really vocalize that one out loud without compromising the image he's cultivated so far...but chances are that everyone can silently tell that Red's whole mask is just that; a mask. Nobody says anything to the contrary but nobody really reacts when he flaunts the image of a disciplinarian either and all it takes for the facade to crumble is you perhaps idly tapping his own ass while hugging him without even thinking anything of it by being affectionate and this man will crumble and melt within no time; which is funny for a person with so much apparent bravado. But, that's O'Neill for you.

― What's the point of even discussing our boy Bunny's kinks when you could pretty much balance a Budweiser can on your head and by tomorrow that too will become a kink to him. That's how high strung, hormonal and horny he tends to be. He likes...just about everything; normal and abnormal, a bit like a snot nosed boy only just discovering what's what and having too much bravado that's spilling out of him at every waking hour. That's the point of sexual exploits where he's concerned; doing just about everything under the sun if you can. And if you can't, what's even really the endgame of it all? Unlike most of the other boys, his sole virtue in the matter being that he's very openly willing to confess he's never spanked anyone but entirely would at a drop of a hat if it meant he could get the pussy afterwards too --- he'd talk irritatingly frankly about this and without an ounce of shame --- fact is, just talking about it amuses him. Probably to Junior who's just about had enough listening to the entire barrage of the disturbed and occasionally perverted things Bunny usually has to say on the daily and undoubtedly takes a wholly contrarian stance that he hates spanking purely because Bunny said he loves it; but truth is, both are probably realistically too young and green to even know what the heck they're talking about. So, does Bunny like spanking then? Likes it if it's available as an option on the table and doesn't care for it until it's, you guess it, available as an option on the table. He's got a weirdly efficient tunnel vision like that.

― Wolfe needs to be genuinely sat down for someone to explain to what the heck any of this is, not because he doesn't know per se but because he tends to get so tongue tied and these things require time to process to the degree he outright needs to be talked through it first and have a moment to catch a breather afterwards as you go into the details why you want him to do it, what it means, that it'll turn you on, that it could potentially turn him on as well, that it feels good, that you like it and that you specifically want him to help you achieve the goal of getting off through him spanking you. It functions very much like an official briefing for Wolfe; no different from explaining an attack strategy and laying out all the various pieces. In this sense he's truly not that far off from Taylor and they differ solely in the sense that a new grunt like Chris who hasn't really been tasked with commanding anyone can be expected not to know how to take charge but someone who's a Lieutenant commanding a platoon of men being at a loss for words is certainly more surprising of a development. He almost certainly enjoys the very idea you were willing to put such power into his hands and connecting him to an idea of dominance far more than actually dominating meaning that Wolfe might just get off on just thinking about spanking you rather than actually doing it. You just talking about it to him and explaining how much you want him in a role of authority develops into more of a fetish for him than anything else here. Whoops.

― Elias isn't into spanking. Is willing to indulge it for your sake, sure, because your pleasure matters to him, but on his own accord? Nah. Doesn't hate it but it's possibly not one of the top things for him either, you see. What he prefers more is caressing your ass slowly. Admiring it. Having you sprawled out over his lap. Trailing his hand over the outline of your buttocks. Giving them occasional soft, sensual slaps or gropes. Kissing them. Asking you to tell him how good it feels. Denying you the pleasure of getting truly disciplined, and ironically, disciplining you through that. He'd, in fact, go the route of any number of extravaganzas like eating your ass, doing lines off of it, downright blowing smoke into it while he's getting high, but spanking as such falls completely short in the long line up of things Elias actually wants to do and heck, by comparison of most of his other fetishes it almost comes off as a vanilla kink to have. Elias just marches to the beat of his own drum like that and one gets the impression he genuinely has so much sexual experience he doesn't even bother feeling braggadocious about that spanking is bordering on something commonplace to him, but ever the humble guy, he smiles and does it just for you. Or at least teases doing it. You might be perched up on his lap expecting a blow, getting all hot and excited for the prospect and he just holds his hand up in the air gently toying with your expectations and never actually going through with it, leaning down and kissing each of your cheeks instead with the most impish grin imaginable.

― I mean, Barnes probably wanted to spank you from the moment you were ever kind to anyone, kind to him, from the moment you told a joke, laughed at someone else's, acted slightly willful or even way too obedient, from the moment you talked back or perhaps practiced the habit of being silent and professionally keeping to yourself. From the moment you did anything in regards of anything and anyone else. It really doesn't particularly matter what you do or how you do it; The sight of you alone makes the palm of his hand itch and he's most likely to downright discipline you if you step out of line, fail at something, do something wrong, disobey him or, say, put yourself in danger (and by extension, the way he'd see it, sabotage his war machine and everyone in it) and do so way before your relationship with him ever even becomes romantic or physical by openly bending you over his knee and giving you a smacking for good measure so the lesson sticks next time --- what's worse, the act of it could be seen as fully non-sexual and written off as a gesture of showing the underling a firm hand. He'll just do it when he's decided chewing you out verbally just won't cut it and do it irregardless of who's present, who's not and who gets to it see it. Could be see as corporal punishment dished out by a Sergeant and it could be seen as a kink but where Barnes is concerned the two are very much the same because he'll conduct both with all the seriousness in the world, be it in a domestic setting or in the army. When he says your ass is his he very much means that. And if he decides its warranted? You'll be put over the knee in the name of Code Red and he'll call it a day.

[fadelbison]

The failure to rehabilitate Mew and the ways in which it unravels Ray's ending

I've been trying to reconcile my gripes with the OF finale so I can move on with my life and hopefully once this post is out of me I can be done. What was wrong with Boston's ending? What was wrong with Ray's? Were they happy endings? Were they satisfactory endings? And fandom has been going around in circles around these things. What I want to talk about is the ending of the one person we never seem to question: Mew's. I think we don't question Mew because the narrative has set a tone from the very beginning that Mew should never be questioned - even though Mew does extremely questionable things - and there was a point in which fandom questioned him but I think ultimately gave up (at least I did) because it was infinitely clear that questioning Mew was never going to get us anywhere let alone answers.

So did Mew have a good ending? Mew certainly got the ending he desired: Top entirely beholden to him, Boston out of his life, Cheum back to being his sidekick and Ray no longer inconveniently in love with him or drunk out of his mind all the time.

But is getting everything he desires, actually good for this character? This is such a frustrating character to me because he experiences exactly zero growth. Boston grows a lot, Ray is growing though his honeymoon phase brain does make me question whether it's realistic/sustainable - but Mew? Absolutely nothing. This character has since day one shown a complete inability to compromise or put anyone's needs above his own (except perhaps under the extreme duress of Ray killing himself). Top and Mew's own mother point out how he's very judgemental and yet other than getting his head out of his ass about Boeing nothing really happens with that. He's never able to or even asked to be accountable for the way in which he slutshamed Top and fueled his insecurities that even allowed for the whole BostonTop debacle to happen. And the final time that he's presented with the opportunity to be a human being, to self reflect, to show some goddamn compassion, handed to him on a silver platter by Cheum? He botches it, he fails to recognize Boston's humanity and in one fell swoop rejects his own. Boston is the only person in Mew's friend group - in the entire show - that challenges his viewpoints and Mew chooses to put his head in the sand and cut him out! Boston will be just fine without Mew but I'm not sure that Mew will be without Boston. Mew is barely a person, Mew is the judge, jury and executioner of some fucked up status quo of good queer morals and that's all he stays! People rejoicing at Ray throwing down with Boeing are so confusing to me - this is what Ray has been about since episode one! Was Ray's ability to throw hands and willingness to do so in service of the ones he loves ever in question? Didn't Sand use this exact character trait to manipulate Ray into executing his Top revenge plan? THIS - This is what sets Sand apart from the rest. The benchmark of Ray's love for him

For once in his goddamn life Ray chose to be someone different. He chose to be Sand - someone who puts another person's love, another person's well being first even at great cost to himself.

This mirrors what Sand had done for him earlier in supporting his relationship with Mew:

And they're different people so they have different ways of executing this support (Sand is sad while Ray is angry) but Ray remembers what Sand did for him and he's trying to do the same. We could have let it play out and have Sand choose him like Ray chose Sand (delicious narrative mirroring PLUS Ray still could have bitten Boeing's head off after that! we could have had it all!!!!!!) But instead we get this

and this ????

Ray was totally convinced by Boeing's confession that he still loves Sand so WHO even put this idea in his head that Boeing isn't sincere? Boeing isn't in love with Top. His whole DEAL with Mew was to fuck so he could take revenge on Top. So WHO has decided that Boeing isn't sincere?

We have yet another sexually promiscuous gay man whose own words we cannot trust because Mew said so! And Ray being Ray does what he always does: Sand needs his protection so he throws hands in order to protect him.

Sand who has done nothing but love Ray from episode one, doesn't get to choose Ray, doesn't get to claim him. Instead, we get 'But at least my owner loves me' sfsdlkgdlgkf maddening!!!! I think I went into anaphylactic shock!!!! i was frothing at the mouth watching this unfold because wtf????

And let's hope that Boeing really wasn't sincere and that even if he was Sand would have still picked Ray because if there's one thing I know about OF it's this:

Ray and Boston were the scourges of their friend group, the slut that couldn't be trusted and the drunk that couldn't be trusted.

A friend group that has no place for Boston has no place for Ray either.

Because Ray's journey to sobriety might be his own to take but he can't actually take it alone (no one can) and when he slips, Mew (and Cheum) certainly won't be there to catch him.

[publiccmenace]

"It's Not About You"

Note: It is your prerogative to enjoy and play with the take I am criticizing. While I think it is wrong, that does not mean you are not allowed to have fun with it. I am autistic and literary analysis is my love language.

So the other day I was having a conversation with my buddy @ganymedesclock (who I'm currently dragging into turtle hell) about the popular take on the line "it's not about you" in the rottmnt movie. This post seems to summarize the fandom's interpretation pretty well. While I do think Leo would internalize it as pro-martyrdom, that is because he fundamentally misunderstands it. He takes the line "it's not about you" and makes it about him.

Here's the thing about the invasion: did Leo fuck up with the key? Absolutely. But you know who else fucked up? The people who were responsible for keeping track of the key. Warren and Hypno for stealing it. The Foot for using it. There are around five hundred or so years of successes and fuckups tied to the Krang and the key.

The invasion is not about Leo. It was not his fault. "It's not about you" certainly does mean 'pull your head out of your ass and get it into the game' but it is also a message of 'this is not personal and you should not internalize as such.'

Leo takes Raphael's sacrifice in the movie very personally. He makes his brother's sacrifice about him, out to be his fault because he feels guilty for it. Leo is not responsible for Raph's actions. He didn't make Raph do anything. Both of them made a difficult call in a tough situation and had to deal with the consequences of it. If Leo had been able to say "this isn't about me, I don't need to fix this by myself because it wasn't my mistake alone that led to this, this whole situation isn't about me and I cannot be expected to solve it by myself," well, we would have had a vastly different movie.

There's this temptation in a crisis, to say if I had been smarter, if I had been faster, if I had been somehow better, this wouldn't have happened. To somehow establish that you were in control of it, that it was about you, because if it's about you, then you can deal with it.

"If I had to guess, I think the original meaning of the line might be a metaphor for growing up. When you’re a child your thoughts & the way you perceive the world around you tends to revolve a bit around yourself & your own feelings & as you get older you tend to become more mindful of others & how your actions affect them." OP of the linked post says. This, I think, succinctly summarizes a flaw in the common fandom interpretation: we know exactly how Leo would internalize this line, but we do not seem to understand what it actually means. As you get older, you do tend to be more mindful of others and how your actions affect them, but I think that's only half of the thematic equation. You also begin to understand that the actions of others are often unaffected by you. The person who snapped at you is likely having a bad day, you did nothing personal to offend them. It's not about you.

This post here brings up another fascinating point about Leo as a character: He's a chessmaster. He works best when the situation is about him, so that he can be in control of it. Chess is about the pieces, sure, but it is more so about the person playing it. That dichotomy, of being someone who loves the spotlight but works best in the shadows, is such a fascinating aspect of Leo's character. He's somewhat of a Coyote figure, in that he's a trickster who works best when he can play his opponents' ego against them. Consider S2E1 Many Unhappy Returns, where he spends the entire time running rings around Big Mama because she keeps her attention on the performance he's putting on. She's focused on Leo, instead of the plan he is carefully constructing. Leo makes it about him, not the deal he's making, not his dad, not anything else, and it works really goddamn well.

There's a real trend of amping up Leo's self-sacrificing nature for angst, which like, glad y'all are having fun. However, I do not think it is the most interesting reading of his character. His tendency to self-sacrifice intertwines with his chessmaster traits: you cannot win without sacrificing a few pieces and knowing what you're willing and able to lose, and we all know that Leo cares a lot about winning.

His need to make everything about him is definitely a deep-seated insecurity thing, however it is also responsible for that deep-seated insecurity. If everything is about him, if everything is personal, everything is also his fault. "It's not about you" is as much a comfort as a scolding. It essentially translates to "LEO YOU ABSOLUTE SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY STOP TYING YOUR SELF-WORTH TO YOUR OWN FLAWED PERCEPTION OF HOW OTHER PEOPLE VIEW YOU AND ALSO STOP TAKING EVERYTHING OTHER PEOPLE DO PERSONALLY MOST TIMES IT REALLY REALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY VARIABLE EVER."

[iamthepulta]

The Story of Morgan

@harvestar

So our Skyfarer campaign was supposed to be a oneshot put on by the extremely generous @nicholas-the-paleomancer, but we loved it so much we decided to keep playing (and it didn't seem like the pandemic was going to end anytime soon).

We broke it up into seasons. Midway through Season 1, the DM asked all the PCs a very innocuous question: "Did your character have anyone they were particularly attached to growing up?" and I was like- "Hm. I suppose... a friend? sister? Idk, kinda estranged because Arthur keeps her busy. Maybe kind of weird too?" and the DM went SURE THING. I KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH HER.

In the moment, I kinda nodded- yeah, cool beans; we're definitely going to have some sort of flashback next session. cool, cool cool- Wait. Westlie's definitely crushed about having a sister she left behind, isn't she? Oh she definitely is- Oh god, Arthur is such a dick, what happened? What does her sister even look like?

Which IMMEDIATELY AND VIOLENTLY kicked off a stream of not-yet-named Morgan and Westlie brainrot. We had the episode, which was a completely normal episode with a small flashback, instigated by the Storm-that-Speaks. Then we continued playing and finishing Season 1.

In the meantime, I slid rapidly downhill as I panicked about Westlie becoming captain, her new sister Morgan, (getting chased by the Glorious was, funny enough, not at all something Westlie or I worried about?). I wrote a whole bunch about Westlie's backstory, Morgan's backstory, them together, Arthur trying to pry them apart, and then Season 2 started.

Season 2 opened with Westlie getting a letter from Arthur that said, "Morgan ran away. You should probably find her. Also bring her back because I need someone to be my heir now, btw fuck you."

I dissolved.

In game, New Winchester was in the middle of a siege and we were hired by a Revolutionary party to carry information there. (We as a party had accidentally kicked off a second war with the Reach in Season 1), and we hoped that news about Morgan would be there too.

That was the longest fucking seven sessions in my entire goddamn life and the most deranged Westlie I have ever had the pleasure of being.

I had nightmares about them. Westlie and I were convinced that Morgan was all right (because she was always all right) but haunted by the thought she might not be. And even when we finally reached Leadbeater, IT TOOK TWO SESSIONS TO GO IN THE FUCKING JUNGLE. I SWEAR TO GOD @nicholas-the-paleomancer.

At one point I texted the DM past midnight sniffling, begging him not to plan to kill Morgan off, or at least make it feasible to rescue her because I couldn't stand the thought of them never reunited.

In the meantime, as I was dissociating watching my mental stability plummet from the pandemic and a bad living situation, I started wondering why the fuck I was so worried about it. And... that was a can of trauma worms I absolutely did not expect to uncover.

So we found Morgan. She was not okay, but I rolled like garbage on all the conversations that mattered, so Westlie was oblivious to the signs until Chorister bees with Morgan riding one, attacked the Pyrrhus. Then the rest of Season 2 was a deep depression and feral resolution to get things back to normal until we succeeded. xD

But the brain rot did not go away.

It's still here. 👍

(Please feel free to chime in if desired, @nicholas-the-paleomancer.)

[piastrinorris]

I figured you'd be swimming in asks about this but FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-DORKS: might I please have a crumb of information about your Leonard fic? 🥺🖤

heheheh u can have SO MANY crumbs, as a treat <3

i call it the fix-it fic bc in it, leonard NEVER MEETS those goddamn sisters who start his downward spiral leading to his eventual death. leonard instead meets you, the reader, at the concert that happens in episode 1, he notices that you're about to walk home in the rain without so much as an umbrella and what sort of man would he be if he let that happen? so he walks you home and you get to talking about the concert and then about books n stuff and you're v apologetic for taking up leonard's time but he thanks you for being the most interesting person he's spoken to in weeks. he tells jacky he's late bc he made a friend at the concert who he walked home (no infidelity here, our len is a GOOD and HONEST MAN) and jacky's like "omg now you have someone to go with you to all those things you enjoy"

you're a teaching apprentice, tutoring an especially difficult child to educate to prove yourself as a class teacher someday. you live in the basement of [insert distant relative, i haven't decided yet] and tutor from there. you and len grow closer, both pining after each other but knowing that len gave up so much to be with jacky that he isn't gonna just toss that aside, even if it would make him happier.

at one point [something i haven't decided yet] happens that means len and jacky can't stay in their house. you ask your relative if you can offer them their spare room. upon meeting jacky you and your relative realise how unwell she is, so your relative gets a doctor out to see her, and the doctor also picks up on len's illnesses, and you spend your free time nursing them both. spending a few days with both basts p much 24hrs/day, it becomes increasingly obvious to jacky that len isn't actually happy with her.

and that's p much the whole entire story from start to end lol but there's other bits i'm excited to write about to expand on all their characters a lil bit more :)

[inseparabiles]

I would honestly love nothing more than to figure out what started this spiral. What could possibly have triggered us into this state. Like this is so bad. This is by far the worst it has been in years.

Is it just the overwhelm of everything going from shit to shitter and everything feeling so goddamn hopeless since a decade ago now? Slowly, and then very fast, watching modern world turn into such an inhospitable place, where there just isn't any hope at the horizon?

Is it actually because people are so fucking mean and there's nowhere to go from it? It starts from the above - society itself feels hostile to the point of it seeming like it's just a matter of time until they start hunting you down. But it continues down to the most basic level. Like I wrote in the post I'm reblogging from, I can't - I'm not allowed to - even express joy about the most mundane things anymore without someone coming in like fuck you and the horse you rode in go fucking die you piece of shit.

Me, talking about how much I love Subira, a fucking fictional character in the cosy game Palia, who is a mature woman struggling with her sense of self after being sold into the local magical Inquisition as a child and being forbidden her identity and any and all pursuits of the self in favour of serving the Order? ACSHULLY Subira ACAB fuck you you cop-loving bootlicker. Okay! Cool! You have no imagination and are incapable of separating your politics from a fantasy world where some "for the greater good" nations-suppressing entity modeling heavily from religious organisations is just "the cops", and now this is my fault and I'm actually the bad guy because I love a character who has identity issues and feels like her only purpose is to serve? Literally actually fucking go reflect on your stupid brain somewhere. Oh my fucking god are you literally 12 years old grow the fuck up.

Then like, the other day? This American guy on a TMA subreddit asks for places to visit when they're coming down to London for a trip. One of my sole remaining joys this year, including the main way I've coped with the loss of my dog who's been with me as long as I can literally remember (I got him at 20 and I remember nothing past my adulthood essentially, thank you severe dissociative disorder) by binging the stream services of the Royal Opera House and reading about Joseph Grimaldi, because I just happened to be on these subjects when everything went so far down to hell that I didn't have anythin else left to focus on that would have kept me sane.

So I'm like, yeah you could go see a ballet or an opera at ROH, they're kind of cool, it's made me happy to see them supporting the LGBT community the past few too given the overall climate -

some other dude, immediately: ACTUALLY CORPORATIONS AREN'T YOUR FRIENDS YOU SHOULD LITERALLY GO SEE A PLAY IN ANY OTHER PLACE BECAUSE FUCK CAPITALISM NOBODY ACTUALLY SUPPORTS YOU AND IF YOU PAY TO GO SEE SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A TRAVELLING TROUPEE OF GAY AMATEURS LIVING IN SEWERS IN HENFORD-BY-BAGLEY YOU'RE LITERALLY KILLING POOR ARTISTS

and I'm like okay, but theatre is known to attract LGBT people and also this is about places that are referred to in TMA -

and got downvoted to hell until I just fucking deleted the entire comments.

Like what do you fucking want me to do. Do you really want me to just not derive ANY joy from ANYTHING because NOTHING is uwuweuwuwu morally pure enough for you? What the fuck do you want from me? I'm covered from head to toe in cuts and I haven't been cutting in years. I've never cut this much in my whole life and I'm a lifelong cutter. I've gone through all of my limbs with blunt objects to make as many swollen bruises as possible. Are you happy now? Am I punished enough for daring to like the wrong things? Do you need to me to slit my throat as well? Will that satisfy you? Is that going to be enough, or should I go get raped and tortured first? Does that make you happy? How about I go ask my dad if he'll beat me some more? Would it make you feel better if I sought out and said yes please do rape me to the man who assaulted me in the city when I was 18? Do you need me to take more than double my allowed dose of sedatives? Would you like me to overdose on my beta blockers, since coming back from that even with hospitalisation is unlikely? Is that too kind of a death for someone who dares to suck cop dick and support rainbow capitalism? What is it you want from me? Should I cut up the soles of my feet next so I can't walk, or is it enough it's hard for me to move my legs right now with the amount of damage I've done to my thighs?

What will be a sufficient price for someone as worthless as myself enjoying anything whatsoever? How do you want me to kill myself? I'll be here waiting for your answer, I only wish to make you happy after all :)

"this thing that makes you happy is problematic actually"

cool I don't care as I have vastly bigger problems and I'm glad that you don't but stfu

[forestwater87]

Okay, for all of you who don't feel like watching Miles RP as David

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Context may be added if I feel like it. Reactions are my goblin brain screaming. All of these came from a discord so if they don't make sense . . . see goblin brain comment.

(That link should start directly at the point where he becomes David; if it doesn't, skip to 1:40:33)

In roughly chronological order:

David: "Teachers are sort of like camp counselors during the rest of the year."

The thing is David is absolutely up his own ass enough to think this.

David: "Trail mix is expensive!"

^ said to show he understands why not everyone can donate to the charity for teachers. Very adorable, am crying.

David's "ooooh" seeing one dude was extremely non-heterosexual. Fucking bicon. Him losing his mind that one of the arenas is called "Survey camp"

David: "A person's hitting me -- I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry this is just pretend!"

This is just canonically how David plays video games. Either this or he's unwilling to commit violence at all, but I'll defer to Miles.

David: "That's very goat of you!"

Spencer: "Is David popular amongst his campers?"

David: "I like to think so! There's only 3 staff members, so I'm definitely in everyone's top 3."

"That also means you're in the bottom 3."

David: "Well, I choose not to think of it that way."

(I have to keep adding reacts so you can tell when one quote ends and another begins. Judge not lest ye be judged)

I think the other person in the stream is named Spencer. Friend of Miles. I know literally nothing else about him and am not even confident on those facts.

Every time he says something so non-David in his David voice I die: "I have a lot of grenades!"

David: "Oh my goodness, would you look at this beautiful scenery! Can we hike that mountain?"

This is so goddamn cute. I am dying. Miles looked at his fans and said "they will eat tonight" and I am so relieved.

David: "Not to be a couple of Greedy Garys, but I say we get this [care package] and then I'll drop another one!"

The fact that Miles is grinning like a lunatic the entire time is very good. (Also if this is formatted badly then I'm sorry but not all that sorry. I'm doing my best and David would be proud of me.)

David: "Didja getim? Didja getim? didja getim? How 'bout now?"

Spencer: "I didn't get 'em."

David: "Well, you tried your best and that's all that matters."

He calls healing "a little health kiss." I'm not sure why but it's very important to me.

David: [while jumping to murder someone] "Hi! Scuse me!"

(i just need something to separate the quotes okay)

David: "Well you know what gang, we did our best. You don't always win the 3-legged race. You did a wonderful job!"

Then there's a bit where they talk about Spencer's time at summer camp:

David: "ooooh hand-holding's pretty serious!"

David is too pure.

David: [dreamily] "Did you fall in love, Spencer? A summer love?" [puts hands up to his face]

Then there's the fact that David/Miles gets to pick where they play each round, and he keeps insisting on going to the one called "Survey Camp" every single time because it has the word "camp" in it.

David: "Now, I don't like to disagree, but . . . I was thinking we could go . . . to Survey Camp!"

Spencer reminds him that technically since David's the one with the power to choose, his opinion is the only one that matters:

David: "Everyone's opinion matters. And my opinion is we're going to camp."

David just steamrolling over Spencer's interests is very good. There are these little selfish nuggets sprinkled in among the wholesomeness that really capture the full David experience.

David: "Well, he's climbing up . . . he's coming my direction . . . oh, he looks scary . . ."

Spencer: "Is he coming towards me?"

David: "Oooh, I don't know. I'm dead!"

The positivity is relentless. I think Miles said on twitter afterwards that this whole thing was exhausting and I can see why. Being David is no picnic . . .

David: "I have a question: do we have to shoot each other in this game?"

And then a few seconds later:

David: "I'm just wondering if maybe there's a way we can, you know, help others. Talk through our issues."

And a few seconds after that:

David: "I was asking if they wanted to be friends in the game!"

I believe that moved killed him, too. Precious.

Also we're interrupting the real Miles!David content to share something my friend suggested to me while I was watching this and giving her quotes; she said that maybe David just calls everything camp to make life more fun, and then sent me this imaginary exchange that actually killed me all the way to death:

David: Gwen Santos would you go to marriage camp with me

Gwen: I'm going to have to change this story when I tell everyone

It made me laugh quite a bit.

Anyway, back to the video!

Spencer: "How do you sign up for [Camp Campbell]?"

David: "Well, um, you can fax, uh, an application to CameronCCampbell@hotmail.realwebsite.noreallyrealwebsite.com. And . . . you can know that myself and Gwen and Quartermaster and sometimes Mr. Campbell will do our best to make sure they get what they need! Which more than anything is love and support. And friendship."

Spencer: "How many dollars does this camp cost?"

David: "You know . . . it is, um . . ."

And then the conversation switches subjects and David breathes a sigh of relief.

Very shortly after this he changed his character from a woman (she was wearing a yellow shirt, which he liked because the campers wear yellow shirts) to "a Forward Scout with a positive attitude!"

"I like his style."

Spencer: "Does everybody abuse David verbally?"

David: "You know, sometimes people have harsh words. Mostly Max, and Neil, and Gwen, and Quartermaster, and Nurf."

Spencer: "Did you just list almost everyone?"

David: "Mmm . . . I'd say maybe a third."

Poor David. Somebody please protect him.

Spencer: "Yeah, I think people abuse David. I get that vibe. Or at least, I feel it in my heart. Like I wanna put ants in your bunk or something."

David: "Well, I think that says more about maybe some of the hurt you're carrying with you. And sometimes when people don't know how to process that, they act out. Do you want some trail mix?"

David just said his favorite part of trail mix is the raisins which is so cute. "They have a little bit of salt on them, which isn't typical for a raisin."

And he keeps telling chatters to watch their language.

David: "Who is my favorite camper? Aww, you know I couldn't pick a favorite! . . . But I know who has the most potential, even if he doesn't want to admit it."

I KNEW IT!!!!!

I've been saying for years that David doesn't have a favorite and gravitates towards the ones he thinks need him the most AND I FINALLY GOT ONE RIGHT!

David: "Well you know, Gwen swears and that's okay."

shipping intensifies

David: [gasp] "The moss is growing on the north side of the rock!"

Every time he nerds out about weird shit in the game I gain 3 seconds to my life.

Spencer: "Did you get teabagged?"

David: "What's that?"

Spencer: "It's where somebody places their most intimate bits on you for . . . friendship."

David: [softly] "Oh, I don't know about that."

Also David confirms that the whole show has been a single summer, so please see the "vindication" gif above.

David: "I know a lot of fun camp songs."

Spencer: "Sing 3."

David: [starts singing] "Bum-bum-bumblebee, bumblebee tuna, I love bumblebee, bumblebee tuna . . ."

Spencer: "Okay, please stop. I immediately regret this decision."

David: "Max said the same thing! One of my campers. And, uh, and my co-counselor, Gwen."

He's literally made of sunshine. I would die for this fictional man.

Spencer: "Are people at camp against their will? I feel like they are."

David: "No! . . . They don't always like it immediately, but it grows on them."

Spencer: "It sounds like they're there against their will."

David: "Well I just think that's a negative way of looking at it."

FWIW Spencer makes an excellent foil to David. Not as aggressive as Max or as dour as Gwen, but he brings a very . . . like, straight-man energy to the conversation. Like how a normal person would react to David IRL. I'd enjoy seeing these two interact more.

Spencer: "It's like your overpositivity is wanting me to balance it out with negativity."

David: "You know, I feel like that dynamic's pretty popular with me."

eeeeeeee <3

And the last one that I personally found noteworthy:

David: "One day we'll be able to afford safety equipment. Until then, we'll just have to deal with Quartermaster's Ropes Course. And a lot of pillows."

There's point near the last 20 minutes where either it got kinda boring or I just got too tired to keep track. But if there are any quotes you think I missed, please share them! This was a really lovely bit of content to feed our starving maw, and I appreciate Miles very very very much for taking one for the team.