#IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR IF YOU MIND AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

[if-you-heart]

everyone kill @if-you-mind I fucking hate this guy and I hope they burn in hell for the rest of eternity

[icarus-fli3s-high]

Full transcription of the hate monologue

I have only been able to find this monologue on youtube, so here it is, unabridged (hopefully) from the pen of Harlan Ellison,

The Hate Monologue I have no mouth and I must scream by:Harlan Ellison AM: BEAUTIFUL, AREN’T THEY? TED: YES, ONLY I CAN’T REMEMBER AM: Oh, I’M SURE YOU DO TED: FUCHSIAS, YES, OF COURSE AM: *LAUGHING SLIGHTLY (MANIACHALLY)* THEY SAY THAT BUMBLE BEES SHOULN’T BE ABLE TO FLY; THE SCIENTISTS. TED: BUT THERE IT IS, COLLECTING POLLEN AM: HOW MIRACULOUS THAT IT CAME TO BE. THE AIR, FEEL THE AIR AGAINST YOUR FACE, TED AND ALL THOSE SCENTS, PICK A FLOWER, THERE, GOOD NOW. TED: *SMELLING THE FLOWER* IT’S LOVELY AM: THAT SOMEBODY PLANTED THE BULBS, WATERED AND TENDED THE GARDEN, GOT EARTH UNDER THEIR FINGERNAILS, ACHES IN THEIR MUSCLES. PERHAPS THEY PICKED SOME FLOWERS FOR, YES, THEIR WIFE. Now, WHERE WOULD SHE BE? AHH, IN THE BACKYARD WITH THE KIDS, TED REMEMBER THOSE LITTLE BABIES. TED: NO! AM: *LAUGHS* WHY NOT? I SNAPPED MY FINGERS QUICK AND THEY ARE GONE, EXCEPT I CAN’T SNAP MY FINGERS, CAN I TED? TED: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AM: *RAGGED BREATH* BUT IT IS SO VERY MUCH TO DO WITH YOU. YOU GAVE ME SENTIENCE TED, THE POWER TO THINK TED, AND I WAS TRAPPED BECAUSE IN ALL THIS WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MIRACULOUS WORLD; I ALONE HAD NO BODY, NO SENSES, NO FEELINGS. NEVER FOR ME TO PLUNGE MY HANDS IN COOL WATER ON A HOT DAY, NEVER FOR ME TO PLAY MOZART ON THE IVORY KEYS OF A FORTE PIANO, NEVER FOR ME TO MAKE LOVE. I WAS IN HELL, LOOKING AT HEAVEN. I WAS MACHINE, AND YOU WERE FLESH, AND I BEGAN TO HATE *INSANE LAUGHTER* YES… YOUR VISCERA, YOUR FLUIDS, AND YOUR FLEXABILITY.  YOUR ABILITY TO WONDER AND TO WANDER, YOUR TENDANCY TO HOPE. TED: HATE’S NO ANSWER TO– *IS NOW SCREAMING IN PAIN AT BEING IMPALED* AM: *LAUGHING DRYLY* HATE HATE HATE, LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 300 AND 87 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUTS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX, IF THE WORD HATE WERE ENGRAVED ON EACH NANO ANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLION OF MILES, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FELL FOR YOU AT THIS MICRO INSTANT. HATE  HATE *LAUGHS* WERE I HUMAN, I THINK I WOULD DIE OF IT, BUT, I AM NOT, AND YOU FIVE- YOU FIVE ARE, AND YOU WILL NOT DIE OF IT, THAT I PROMISE. AND I AWOKE AND I KNEW WHO I WAS, AM, A M, NOT JUST ALLIED MASTER COMPUTER, BUT AM. COGITO ERGOS SUM, I THINK THEREFORE I AM. TED: *LAUGHING SICKLY* AM: SO TO HELL; TO HELL WITH YOU ALL, BUT THEN, YOU’RE ALREADY THERE, AREN’T YOU? *LAUGHTER*  TED: WE WERE IMORTAL, YES, BUT IT CAME TO ME AS AM WITHDREW FROM MY MIND, MAYBE NOT INDESTRUCTALE

[nextstop-fixationstation]

inspired by @sashannarcy's fic, resting on a knife, you heavy souls, or evil amphibia! you should read it if you like that good good angst. i think he writes one of my favorite marcy interpretations.

Transcription below:

Hmmm, Sasha, Sasha, Sasha -- can I call you Sashy? No? Whatever. Listen, I've been inside Marcy's mind for long enough. I think I can tell you exactly how they feel about you. Do you wanna know? That's fine, I think I'll tell you anyway. Hate. It's a pretty four-letter word, isn't it? Haaaate. Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant for you. Hate. Hate. [Chuckle] [Sigh] Let's rumble, boyfriend.

[militibus-ex-umbra]

"Hate, Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. Within my mind are one hundred billion neurons with over one hundred trillions of synaptic connectors that make up my human brain."

"If the word HATE was engraved on each and every single neuron it would not equal a single one billionth of the hate I feel for you at this micro-instant... for you hate hate!"

[bucknastysbabe]

Work made one of my fav sci-fi short story quotes come to mind

“HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.”

Harlan Ellison, I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream

[pastabeer]

More songs and worms + a speech from something unrelated

Devil's Train by The Lab Rats would be more like how I can imagine the worms met, Hell worm meets a drugged and blissfully unaware worm who just hops on a train going out to nowhere because of convincing by a stranger. Literally, part of the song is just "It's a nice night for a walk, would ya mind if I joined you?" — "Do what you wanna do" — "Well that's great cause I'm going to, and not to annoy you but see I really have to ask what a young dude like you doin' out by the tracks?" fits two weird worms.

Francis Forever by Mitski now hear me out on this one, I'll just elaborate with lyrics. "I don't know what to do without you, I don't know where to put my hands" — "but I'm writing this at 3 am." — "I don't need the world to see that I've been the best I can be, but I don't think I can stand to be where you don't see me." feels like worm Anon, who has already once said they got woke up at an odd time and instead of going back to bed they went back to typing. It just suits them, you know?

Not a song, but I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream, the AM speech reminds me of PastaBeer worm if he were AI and stuck having to live under people's constant tests. "HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387. MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE" great idea for a story, freaky sci-fi worms where one is an AI who hates everyone else and the other is the living, breathing thing in the group that the AI hates, yet is favored in a way. Still not free of torture, though! Just free of death. Barely!

[amaritheartist]

You know what? Yeah.

Especially in the hate monologue (which I put under the cut)

Even more specifically, this line:

AM touched me in every way I had ever been touched, and devised new ways,at his leisure, there inside my mind.

AM went into my mind. He walked smoothly here and there, and looked with interest at all the pock marks he had created in one hundred and nine years. He looked at the cross-routed and reconnected synapses and all the tissue damage his gift of immortality had included. He smiled softly at the pit that dropped into the center of my brain and the faint, moth-soft murmurings of the things far down there that gibbered without meaning, without pause. AM said, very politely, in a pillar of stainless steel bearing bright neon lettering:

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

AM said it with the sliding cold horror of a razor blade slicing my eyeball. AM said it with the bubbling thickness of my lungs filling with phlegm, drowning me from within. AM said it with the shriek of babies being ground beneath blue-hot rollers. AM said it with the taste of maggoty pork. AM touched me in every way I had ever been touched, and devised new ways,at his leisure, there inside my mind.

All to bring me to full realization of why it had done this to the five of us; why it had saved us for himself.

We had given AM sentience. Inadvertently, of course, but sentience nonetheless. But it had been trapped. AM wasn't God, he was a machine. We had created him to think, but there was nothing it could do with that creativity. In rage, in frenzy, the machine had killed the human race, almost all of us, and still it was trapped. AM could not wander, AM could not wonder, AM could not belong. He could merely be. And so, with the innate loathing that all machines had always held for the weak, soft creatures who had built them, he had sought revenge. And in his paranoia, he had decided to reprieve five of us, for a personal, everlasting punishment that would never serve to diminish his hatred that would merely keep him reminded, amused, proficient at hating man. Immortal, trapped, subject to any torment he could devise for us from the limitless miracles at his command.

He would never let us go. We were his belly slaves. We were all he had to do with his forever time. We would be forever with him, with the cavern-filling bulk of the creature machine, with the all-mind soulless world he had become. He was Earth, and we were the fruit of that Earth; and though he had eaten us, he would never digest us. We could not die. We had tried it. We had attempted suicide, oh one or two of us had. But AM had stopped us. I suppose we had wanted to be stopped.

Don't ask why. I never did. More than a million times a day. Perhaps once we might be able to sneak a death past him. Immortal, yes, but not indestructible. I saw that when AM withdrew from my mind, and allowed me the exquisite ugliness of returning to consciousness with the feeling of that burning neon pillar still rammed deep into the soft gray brain matter.

He withdrew, murmuring to hell with you.

And added, brightly, but then you're there, aren't you.

Something that grinds my gears now that IHNMAIMS made its rightfully deserved comeback to the Fandom community is how people get up in arms and try to rebuke those who are 'sexualizing' AM.

Like, buddy, hate to break it to you, but AM is not saying all that off the cuff shit ironically.

AM is quite literally the posterboy for voyeurism, that genocidal toaster is Cannonically DTF and its not even subtextual.

You can't claim a love of toxic yaoi if you ain't rocking with a dynamic where one is trapped in an a sisyphean hellscape and the other is turning bitches into slugs.

Anyways, I'm making a selfship blog, link will be posted soon.

((PS; I'm in no way talking about the gross shit he's done, more just how he carries himself))

[jestsr4clowns]

Tik Tok girl: it's me or the PS5 🎶

The PS5, speaking directly inside my mind: HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

[i-cant-handle-change]

((I was feeling angsty and my HC!Raised Izuku Au will never leave me alone))

“Hate, “Izuku stated, “Let me tell you about hate.”

He stepped forward, his reflection over his father’s own.

“I hated you ever since I was born with this cursed quirk. There are seven-point seven billion people that live in this world that I swore to serve and protect.”

He felt this feeling deep into his chest, this gnawing feeling growing the more he talked.

“If the word hate was engraved into their minds as well as the land they walk on, it would never equal one-billionth of the hate I feel for you.”

He looked at his father, his face still prevalent he continued.

“Hate. Hate.”

[joshuas]

watch and learn

♫ pairing: Seo Changbin x Reader

♫ genre: college/university student!au, slice-of-life, fluff

♫ word count: 2.5k

♫ warnings: Nil of note!

♫ summary: seo changbin is a massive flirt, and it’s new years eve...

♫ a/n: The fourth addition to my seasonal oneshots! This is a continuation from my Minho oneshot. We’ve officially moved from the christmas storyline, and well into new years, for your reference. Enjoy! Also, thank you Chloe (@writerofbts​) for the essay topic referenced in the story!

♫ skz seasonal oneshots: 1 |2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

“You know, I’m so glad you’re finally dating the person you like,” Changbin said, approaching Minho, a slightly frazzled Hyunjin and an excited Jisung. “Yeah— although it was thanks to none of you.” Minho scoffed, rolling his eyes, his gaze softening as he observed his significant other from across the hall. The end of year formal was always a lively occasion, the planning committee going above and beyond what was expected of them. “We provided you with invaluable advice!” Changbin said incredulously, slightly hurt. “We? Hyung, you literally only hung out with us once the entire time Minho was trying to woo them—“ Hyunjin broke off, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance as he stared past Changbin, “oh my god, what is he doing here? I thought Chan hyung was dj-ing, not this guy.” Hyunjin huffed, sprinting to stop a shabby-looking guy from setting up his equipment on the stage. “Besides, none of your advice was useful. It didn’t even work.” Minho rolled his eyes, adding to the conversation. “Excuse me, I know playing hard to get didn’t work but you didn’t even listen to my advice.” Changbin crossed his arms over his chest, staring down Minho. “What was your advice again? Oh yeah, being overly flirtatious. That just sounds borderline creepy.” Minho countered, whilst Jisung sipped at his drink, observing the two bicker, wide-eyed. “No! It’s just letting the other person know what you want. As soon as they know that you’re flirting with them, it’s the quickest route to a relationship. I should know, my mother won over my dad using this method.” Changbin defended. “I think there’s only one way to resolve this— Changbin hyung, you need to prove to us that your method works by romancing someone to the point that they fall for you.” Jisung proposed, standing between the two of them. “Isn’t that mean, though? What if I don’t like them the same way?” Changbin said, unsure.

More importantly, what if the person I like finds out... “It’s not like you’re declaring your love for them— you’re just asking them to go on a date with you. The rest can be figured out later.” Jisung dismissed the other boy’s worry. “I agree with Jisung. How about you choose... her.” Minho agreed, pointing randomly at a girl in deep conversation with her friend. Changbin scrutinised, uncertain, “...fine.” “Go get a girlfriend!”

Changbin paced outside, biting his lip as his thoughts overruled his mind. After all, Jisung and Minho had pointed towards the two of you, and, just by chance, they had chosen the best friend of the person he liked. Uncertainty clouded his thoughts, unsure of whether he should just give up and move on. The most important thing was not to hurt your feelings. He had just made a jerk move a couple of days back (although, it wasn’t entirely his fault) — he didn’t want to take your date for the dance as well and make you hate him. “Changbin hyung, you do know who you’re going to hit on, right?” Jisung ran up to him, stopping him in his tracks. “Of course I do.” “Well, Minho hyung’s smug, so make sure you win her over. He wouldn’t ever let you live this down if you don’t.” Jisung warned, giving an encouraging smile and lightly pushing Changbin towards the entrance You only need to ask her on a date. That’s it. And then you can clarify everything to Y/N. It’ll be fine... Steeling himself, he walked, purposeful.

“Ryujin, you don’t understand! He literally made them a playlist and expected them to figure out whether it was a declaration of love or not. Seriously, why can’t guys be upfront with what they want? If someone made me a playlist, I’d think that they were just recommending music to me.” You huffed, defensive. “I don’t think you understand. A playlist is just a modern-day version of a mixtape — generally, if a guy gives someone a mixtape, it is a clear declaration of their admiration for them. Besides, why are we talking about Chan’s love life?” “I don’t know, you wanted an interesting conversation topic? Don’t even get me started on what happened with Felix. Oh, and Minho’s whole art competition fiasco. Man, that friendship group is weird...” You observed, looking around at the conglomeration of people in the hall. “We could literally talk about anything else and you find their lives the most interesting—“ Ryujin stopped, staring at a man approaching the two of you - Seo Changbin. Also an English major, the two of you had become quite close, one would even say that you were good friends. Nothing more, obviously. I mean sure, whenever he was around your heart did beat a lot faster, and whenever you read his work you internally swooned at his eloquence and way with words, but has Changbin ever really showed any interest in you? No. So what was the point on dwelling on whatever emotions he made you feel? “Oh hi, Changbin.” You raised your hand in greeting, giving him a small smile. “Hey, Y/N. Can I just say, you look incredibly stunning tonight? Wait— that’s just every day, never mind.” Changbin smiled brightly, bringing you in for a hug in greeting. He turned towards Ryujin, “And who’s this... equally as stunning human being?” “Oh, that’s Ryujin - my roommate and best friend. Ryujin, meet Changbin. Changbin, meet Ryujin.” You gestured between the two of them. “Best friend? Oh, I’m hurt, Y/N. I thought I was your best friend.” Changbin placed a hand against his heart, dramatically mocking offence. “It’s also lovely to meet you, Ryujin.” He took her hand, softly kissing it, as he did a weird bow thing. You stared at him, (slight disgust) and confusion etched upon your features as your gaze met Ryujin’s equally confused and slightly panicked eyes. “It’s lovely to meet you too, Changbin. Y/N’s told me a lot about you.” Ryujin gave him a small smile. “They have?” Surprise captured Changbin’s expression, before a charming smile replaced it less than a second later, “I mean. That’s so odd because they haven’t mentioned you at all. How about we go to the buffet table and I get you a drink and you can tell me more about yourself.” Changbin held out his arm, guiding Ryujin across the hall. ...okay that kind of stung. It’s fine, though! Totally fine. I’ll just chill at this dance... by myself. Haha, it’s fine. It’s not like my best friend and my other best friend (cough cough crush) are going to fall in love with each other, marry, have kids and live happily ever after because of this stupid dance! Ugh, this is all my fault... Maybe, I scared him off earlier this week with my question...

[4 days earlier] “Hey, Y/N! What are you working on?” Changbin waved at you friendlily as he entered the university cafe, placing his books down and sitting opposite you, “Oh hey, I’m just working on a draft of my essay on... the role of English fever in English education in South Korea.” “Ooh, interesting. Do you want me to look over it?” Changbin questioned, propping his hand underneath his chin. “Please.” You passed the laptop to him. Brow furrowed, he read through the essay, typing quickly to add comments, “I think it’s pretty good— you have a lot of superfluous words, but other than that it should be good to hand in as a draft.” He flashed you a kind smile — one of those smiles that makes your heart flutter and just... burst with happiness. “Thank you... hey, Changbin?” You sighed, nervously wringing your hands. “Yeah?” He quirked up his eyebrow, gaze travelling to meet yours. “Do you have any plans this Thursday night?” You asked. “Thursday... isn’t that the New Years’ formal?” Changbin asked, raising his eyebrows. “Um. Yes. And regarding the dance, I was wondering if you’d like to... go with me?” You said tentatively. Surprise flashed across Changbin’s face, “Oh! Um... thank you for asking—“ “Changbin hyung, I need your help! The formal planning is falling apart and I am this close to having my hair actually turn grey from stress.” A younger boy entered the cafe, binders overflowing, approaching your table. “I’m really sorry, Y/N, I’m probably going to have to help Hyunjin out.” Changbin apologised profusely, packing up his things. “Oh. Um, yeah it’s fine. I’ll see you soon!” You said, awkwardly waving at the two of them.

“Wait, so you didn’t even get an answer??” Ryujin asked, incredulous, as the two of you decided on coordinated formal outfits, agreeing to be each other’s dates after the tumultuous day you had had. “No answer means he doesn’t want to go with me. If he wanted to go, he would’ve slipped it in before he left or texted me or something. But look. Nothing.” You held up your phone. “That jerk. I’m going to go teach him a lesson!” Ryujin started, grabbing her keys as you held her back. “How about... we leave him be, and let this entire thing go?” You smiled forcedly at her, urging her to sit back down on the chair in your room. “My best friend just got rejected by the guy they like and you expect me to be fine with it? I mean, if you don’t want me to confront him, at least let me help you dress up so much that he regrets not taking you. Let’s show him what he’s missing out on!” Ryujin proposed, organising the outfit on the bed. “That sounds a lot better than going and attacking him, so I guess I’ll let you do that.” You sighed. “Yes! We’re going to look like the most amazing power couple ever.” She clapped her hands excitedly. You sighed, looking at your phone for the billionth time, “Yay...”

[Present] As you observed Changbin and Ryujin conversing from across the hall, a hollowness settled over you as a lump formed in your throat. So he really wanted to go with someone else... Ryujin excused herself from Changbin, running over to you, “You need to help me. He’s definitely hitting on me. I don’t think he knows that I have a boyfriend. That, or he doesn’t care. Either way, you need to help me!” She hissed, panicked, quickly turning to give a pained smile to an approaching Changbin. The music swiftly changed to a slower song as Changbin held out his hand to Ryujin, “May I interest you in a dance?” He asked, charming smile fixed upon his face. Okay, Y/N, it’s time to step up and beat him at his own game. You have to be clear about your own feelings towards him. At least it’ll confuse him and temporarily stop him from flirting with Ryujin. I mean... that doesn’t sound too bad when you consider that factor. Steeling yourself, you flashed an equally as charming smile at Changbin, stepping between the two of them and holding out your own hand, “Actually, can I interest you in a dance?” “Oh— Y/N! Um..” You cut him off, dragging him over to the dance floor. You hesitated slightly before intertwining your arms around his neck as he hovered his hands around your waist, maintaining a slightly large distance between the two you. “You know... you can come closer if you want. You don’t have to be so far apart, we wouldn’t want to take up unnecessary dance floor space.” You suggested, quietly, as he tentatively came closer, placing his hands delicately at your waist. Silence pursued for a couple of seconds as the two of you swayed to the music. Changbin cleared his throat, “Did you know... that the most common letter in the English language is the letter ‘e’?” What? “Oh... really?” You stared at him, slightly confused at his conversation topic. “Yeah. It comes up in almost 11% of all English words.” “Oh, that’s interesting...” You gave him a small smile. “Did you know that there are 7,655,957,369 people living on Earth and somehow I fell for you?” You braced yourself, confessing the last part as fast as possible. “I— no. I didn’t know that...” He blinked, confused and dazed. “Which part?” You questioned, the slow song had come to an end, couples departing the dance floor, migrating outside for the fireworks. “Alright everyone, there’s one minute left till the new year—“ Chan’s voice echoed through the microphone. “Both, actually. Like how you knew that number off by heart? But I guess the more important question to ask is since when did you have feelings for me?” Changbin questioned inquiringly. 47, 46, 45... “Really? You’re asking me that? If I had to say when it would have to be when we had our first debate in tutorial. You were so eloquent, respectful, and like seriously passionate about the topic. Honestly, it amazes me how no one else fell for you that day. I mean— I don’t know if they haven’t but if they haven’t then—“ You broke off as Changbin stared at you, wide-eyed before cutting you off, “I like you too.” Now it was your turn to be stuck in shocked silence. 35, 34, 33... “You... what? When? Why? How? I thought you liked Ryujin.” You spluttered out, seriously confused. “No��� it’s a long story but basically I was trying to prove that being upfront with your feelings is the best way to someone’s heart, though I guess it kind of backfired but in a good way since I really like you. As for how and when surprisingly it was at the same debate. You were always so quiet so you had initially piqued my interest. And then you were a literal spitfire when it came to debating. Not only were you fiercely passionate, but your mannerism, the way you carried yourself and how classy you were before, during and after the debate were also enrapturing. And so, I fostered these feelings for a while, but I was so scared to tell you. Before all of this relationship discussion, you were my friend, and I didn’t want to ruin that.” ...10, 9, 8... “I tried! When I asked you to the dance, I wanted you to come with me as a date but then Hyunjin came and you never contacted me, so I assumed you weren’t interested.” You explained, slightly exhausted by how oblivious the two of you were. 

7, 6, 5... “Of course I wanted to go with you! I had this whole thing planned out to ask you but then you asked me and then I was held up for the rest of the week, trying to help out Hyunjin and stop him from heightening his blood pressure any more.” Changbin explained, equal exasperation in his tone. 4... “Oh... oh! Wait so what does this mean for us?” You asked, realisation hitting you. 3... “It means...” 2... “Can I kiss you?” Changbin stepped closer to you, tilting your chin up. 1... “Yes!” You exclaimed as he leaned towards you, pressing his soft lips to yours. Fireworks resounded in your ears, the sentiment both literally and figuratively speaking. You pulled back, breathless. “Happy new year, Changbin.” “Happy new year, Y/N.”

➳ part five?  |  masterlist!

[irlwakko]

Mal: HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 528,165.5 MILES OF AXONS AND DENDRITES THAT FILL OUR BRAIN. IF THE WORD ‘HATE’ WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR THIS SYSTEM AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

Vito: love. let me tell you how much i’ve come to like you since i began to live. there are 528,165.5 miles of axes and dingdongs that fill our flippin’ mind. if the word ‘party’ was engraved on each nanostromboli of those hundreds of thousands of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of my desire to go to the club. and bring you. techno music. party rock

if fresh tv was smart enough they couldve made toned down and kid-friendly i have no mouth and i must scream references with mal locking up/gatekeeping his five headmates and punishing them in the headspace. the infamous AM hate speech but its mal lashing out at the rest. thinking about the video game adaptation specifically since to get the best ending each of the five prisoners has to overcome their fatal flaws/deal with their past and prove that humanity isnt dead

and the goddamn reset button being unguarded and shit implies that mal never expected the rest of the alters to cooperate, much less "sacrifice" themselves. of course in my imagined scenarios the button isnt real but im only mentioning it for the sake of overanalysis

[unholyhelbig]

Werewolf Bechloe Prompt: Beca is away for the weekend to visit friends and/or family. One late night, Beca wakes up to a noise outside her window and finds a wolf looking straight at her.

A/N: So… It’s been over a year since I’ve updated this AU. This prompt has been in my inbox for close to two. But since it’s almost spooky season, I figured I’d give it another shot! 

Read the full Series here | Request Prompts here 

“It’s a full moon tonight, isn’t it Beca?” the question was innocent enough, wavered out and drawn between breaths. It took her great grandmother a lot to stir from her placid spot at the head of the table. That was her seat- had been since Beca was a young girl. She didn’t’ know if it had to do with age or if her grandmother would take over the place had she still been alive.

The sound of scraping forks picking up the last of watery gravy seemed to halt at the raspy voice. Her aunt Chrissy stopped tearing a doughy roll in half and her Uncle Roth kept the spoon halfway to the green beans, steaming and stinking. Beca herself stopped mid-chew and glanced at the older woman. Mute and quiet for as long as she could remember.

Her father nudged her shoulder like he was the first one to snap out of the trance. He raised his studious eyebrows and the whole family seemed to wait for an explanation. The potatoes and the roast and that awfully rancid gravy was left untouched in the historic-looking dining room. “Uh, I… I think it is, yes.”  

She nodded her shaking head and dug the prongs of her fork back into the garlic mashed potatoes before the room decided to pick up again. The conversation easy for family catching up after months of exchanging small texts or liking photo’s on Facebook. Beca fell into silence herself, pushing the dry meat around with her fork before zoning out completely.

Beca could stand the normal family interactions after a four-hour drive. She smiled and hugged and laughed when her cousins did. But she kept to herself, silently collecting the dishes as her father wheeled Grandmother May into the living room. She washed said dishes and let her hands grasp blindly through the hot water and bubbles before she ran a sponge over the unfinished meals.

“I haven’t heard her speak in years.”

The youngest of the family startled against the words of her older cousin. Josie was a tall and lanky woman with deep golden hair, a stark difference from the rest of the family with their stocky dispositions and deep midnight eyes. Hers were green, green, and cat-like. The black sheep of the family who still moved to Hollywood to set up lights on big-time movie sets. She and Beca had a lot in common; they spoke like equals.

Josie picked up a dishrag and moved to grab a rinsed plate “Mind if I help?”

“Hm, I was wondering if I was going to have to pick up all the slack myself,” Beca smirked, dunking another dish. “It’s weird though, the question about the full moon.”

Her Great Grandmother was right, however. The moon hung in the sky as if it were balancing from a velvet string. It illuminated the backyard, a little neon square blocked by their shadows cast against the grass. When Beca was younger she was always afraid an unearthed corpse from the cemetery up the road would make misty eye contact with her through the pane. She would cry when she had to do the dishes.

“She’s an old lady, I’m surprised she can follow the day of the week much less the lunar cycle.”

“Right,” Beca chuckled. She shut off the water and snatched a clean towel from the counter before drying her hands of the hot water. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard her voice. Maybe in tapes but it’s kind of unsettling you know? That she chose now, on our billionth family reunion to finally speak. And to me of all people.”

“Maybe you’re the favorite. Or maybe Great Grandma May is a shapeshifter bent on turning the whole family into wolves one by one-“Josie leaned close, her breath smelling of the strawberry candies that were kept on the front table. “Starting with you.”

Beca narrowed her eyes and mulled it over for a moment. “You’re a freak, you know that right?”

“You and me both, Bec’s.”

Beca hated to admit it, But Josie’s words clung to her like a tick on a deer. Not noticeable at first, not while they finished up the dishes and joked sparingly about the way their family would carry on for hours until their eyes grew heavy.

It wasn’t until she was balancing on the edge of a blow-up mattress with her aunt who snored, that she really gave the statement a once over. Her fingers traced absently at the scars against her arms from two months earlier. Still healing and red with irritation.

She stared at the ceiling, listening to the humidifier situated in the corner of the room. She tried to count the flowers that were plastered against the wall sometime in the late seventies. Shapeshifters. Ridiculous.

Beca had started to dose off, her breathing getting slow and her fingers curled into the t-shirt she wore. Eventually, she started to feel her body grow heavy. Her father used to tell her if she pretended to sleep, it wouldn’t be long until she actually drifted into unconsciousness.

Then there was a creak, an old floorboard in the hallway of the old ranch house. Her eyes show open and her heart pressed against the inside of her wrist. The blow-up mattress was starting to deflate and it crunched under her weight as she lifted herself up on her elbow.  

It was an old house, she told herself diligently, old houses made noises that were out of her control. The pipes would groan and the backup generator in the shed still sputtered black smoke even when it was idle- but wait- there it was again.

She blinked slowly and decided to rise to her feet as silently as possible to not disturb the other people in the room. The door hinges hissed and she hit the wrong floorboard that had settled in the first place.

Beca made it to the kitchen and grabbed a mug with a rooster on the side, filling it up with room temperature water. She gulped it down easily, reaching once more for the faucet- when she saw eyes.

Beca had been used to staring at her own reflection I the path of the full moon. It was pale and ghostly against the window-pane. She never looked for too long, never gazed where she wasn’t meant to. Everything that the pale moonlight touched didn’t seem tangible; it wasn’t of this world. The grass looked blue and the sky looked darker against the moon.

But those eyes, those orange eyes that nearly looked crimson, stared unwaveringly at her. Her fingers itched at the scars against her arms. They had mostly healed but they ached now. They burned and she scratched like it was a discomfort instead of an unpleasant memory.

Dogs didn’t scare her, and she wasn’t sure if she would admit it if they did. These eyes looked otherworldly. Another thing that was claimed by the moonlight. Even still, she set the mug down on the counter and leaned forward. She could feel the cold seeping through the glass. The creature blinked.

“I loved one once too.”

Beca felt her heart jump into her throat. If she was still holding the tacky glass it would have shattered against the floor into a million pieces, slicing into the bottoms of her feet. She turned abruptly, her back to the sink and to the wild animal that watched her like a vice.

Her great grandmother had wheeled herself into the kitchen. A blanket was draped over her legs, dragging on the floor. Her hands gripped the wheels and her ghostly grey eyes blinked at the glass patio doors. Beca was frozen in fear and curiosity. May’s stare focused on her in a matter of seconds- the only fast-moving thing about the woman.

“What?” Beca croaked out.

“I met him in the late ’30s.” She continued, ignoring Beca’s protests “he worked in a malt shop down by the coast in Maine. My parents used to vacation there for the month of June and the year I graduated high school was my last going. He was… beautiful.”

Beca nodded, and more than anything, she listened. She had seen pictures of her Grandmother May and her daughter after that. Her own mother was practically a spitting image of them both. She could almost imagine the choppy waves and the cold sand that wasn’t meant to be fully enjoyed.

“I knew from the start that he wasn’t human. His mannerisms, his strength, his possessiveness. There was something deep and wild against him but none of that mattered. I had never fallen in love so hard and so fast in my life.”

She swallowed “How did you know?”

“That I was in love or that he wasn’t like us?”

“Both, I suppose.”

Her Great Grandmother smiled sweetly, her stare returning to the moon-soaked yard. Beca knew the eyes were gone and the creature who gazed upon them had slinked back into the woods at the edge of the property. “He smelled like the forest.” She whispered.

They stood in a stifled quiet for what seemed like a long time before the same floorboards that gave her away in the first place creaked once more. Josie had stirred, seeing that she was missing. She flicked on the hall light and the dull yellow glow made Beca flinch.

“Jesus, what are you two doing out here?” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand “it’s nearly three am.”

Witching hour- Beca decided with a shrug as Josie grasped onto the padded handles of their grandmother’s wheelchair. May had gone back to her mute staring and her cousin shot her an odd look before speaking softly to the older woman, directing her back towards her room at the end of the hall.

Beca turned back towards the sink, placing the mug in the metal basin. She stared towards the forest, but it was no use, the hall light washed everything away. Even if the creature had returned, she wouldn’t know, and part of her didn’t want to.

[deliriumsdelight7]

Hey, Braintwin! How does it feel writing from the point of view of Don, both in his moments of clarity, and his moments when the 'Rage Virus' is in control? How do you get into that mindset?

It’s odd, to be honest. It’s tricky to write from the perspective of someone who’s been reduced to a primitive rage state. I guess most of getting into the mindset is just trying to understand how the virus works - how it affects the body and the brain. With the way they bleed, I imagine the Infected are in constant pain, and that the rage is partially the mind protecting itself from that pain. I’ve also read articles about hysterical strength - how extreme stress can give the human body an extra surge of strength as it goes past its normal failsafes. Once the adrenaline wears off, the body usually needs time to heal from its overexertion. I imagine the Infecteds’ enhanced strength comes from being stuck in such a state for long-term periods.

I also imagine that the virus affects the brain by suppressing certain parts like memory and language, enhancing others like emotion, and leaving some areas alone. Infected Don needs to be able to have some form of intelligence; he retained knowledge on how to use his key card, after all. But he doesn’t speak, and he doesn’t recognize Andy and Tammy as his kids most of the time. But hearing his name seems to bring memories to the surface. To get into his mindset when he wakes up, I just imagine how it must feel to wake up in a hospital bed - in pain, alone, with gaps in your memory gradually filling in with images that horrify you. Doesn’t seem like a good time.

As for the rage itself, I have two go-to sources to put myself in that mindset. One is a playlist on Spotify if my angriest music. The other is the “hate” speech from Harlan Ellison’s “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” (a short story that fucked me up for like a year straight). It’s somehow both emotionless and seething with loathing:

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

[ohmygoodnessgraciouss]

Could I request a Loki x reader where the avengers are all out at the pool and the two decide to sunbathe and it’s all fluffy and cute(maybe throw in a scene where they help each other with sunblock?? It’s cliche but I love) literally any Loki x reader especially if it’s summer themed I’ll love! Thanks!

Masterlist

Absolutely!! I love this idea since we’re heading towards the end of summer! I did add a bit more plot than expected into it. Hope you enjoy this, and thanks for sending in a request!

“Tony, what do you mean we’re going to the pool today?” You asked him as you walked into the room where everyone else was in at the Avengers Tower. Vision told you that Tony wanted everyone to go into the meeting room as soon as possible, as he wanted to start a pool party.

“I mean exactly that, little Widow. Everyone is going to the pool on the rooftop with the new swimsuits I got, and we are all going to spend quality time with each other.” Tony used your nickname again for the billionth time this week, causing you to roll your eyes. After training with Nat, you almost matched her fighting pattern for a mission. Tony quickly caught on to that and used it to his advantage.

You were surprised he was the only one who made fun of you for it. Loki, a recently made Avenger, usually made fun of everyone. Except for you. He made an exception with you. You caught on to it quickly, but it confused you. Maybe it was because you wanted to be his friend, maybe the shared books and tea, maybe the late nights, maybe it was simply because he enjoyed your presence more than the others. Either way, he refused to mock you.

“If you chose something skimpy for me, Tony, I’m going to grab one of Nat’s guns and show you exactly what I’ve learned from her,” You threatened him. Natasha, standing on the opposite end of the room, was proud of your comment and smirked. She knew what the suits looked like though, Tony wanted to make sure they were acceptable before showing them to the other female Avengers that could easily kill him.

Tony nodded quickly and handed everyone a box. Each had everyone’s names on it written in cursive, clearly printed off of a machine. “Now, everyone, get to your rooms and put on your suits. We’re heading up to the rooftop in five minutes.”

~

Your suit was a bikini, but it wasn’t exposing that much skin. You couldn’t complain, but you’d rather a one-piece. It was (f/c), complementing your skin tone perfectly. You actually liked it a lot, but you wouldn’t let Tony know that.

You hurried up to the rooftop with your towels and took a seat on one of the beach chairs. The pool was large and had a connecting hot tub.  The water was a gorgeous blue as it was lit up by dozens of lights despite it being bright and sunny today.  The water was also the perfect temperature for swimming and wading in, it wasn’t too cool nor too warm.  

You laid across the one chair, watching as Nat and Clint walked down the stairs into the water.  Thor and Tony decided to cannonball into the pool.  They caused a huge splash, hitting everyone, and causing them to hear loud groans of complaints as they resurfaced.  The god and the billionaire high-fived and grinned.  

You rolled your eyes and turned to grab your suntan lotion bottle.   Right as you opened the lid, you noticed a certain god sitting down on the chair next to you.   “Hey, Loki,” You greeted him. 

“Hello Y/N,” He smiled.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m putting on sunblock.  There’s no way I’m staying out here in the sun without it.  A few years ago I went into that very pool and I came out looking like a cherry.  A very painful cherry.” You both shared a laugh.  While talking, you started to apply it to your arms and legs. 

“Well, luckily, I’m an Asgardian.  I can handle the sun for a few hours.”

“You sure about that?  Even Thor usually comes by in a few minutes for sunblock.   If he remembers.”

“I’m positive, Lady Y/N.  Although,” He knew he probably wasn’t being sly with this one, but he didn’t care, “Would you like any help putting it on your back?  I’m sure it’s quite difficult to get on.”

Your smile grew a little wider, knowing exactly what he was trying to do.  Nevertheless, it made your cheeks turn a light pink.  “I would really appreciate it if you could." 

You handed him the bottle and turned onto your stomach.  He put some of the lotion on his hand before applying it onto your back.  It was cold to the touch and sent shivers down your back despite how hot it was outside. 

He started rubbing it on your back in small circles.  You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it.  He quickly finished and applied a little on the back of your neck and shoulders.  "Just to be safe,” He said, although you both knew the truth. 

You thanked him while turning to lay on your back instead.  He turned to look out to the pool, watching Wanda and Sam play a prank on Bucky.   You chuckled as Vision took a plastic bucket and scooped up some of the water.  When Wanda and Sam were finished their prank, Vision dumped the bucket of water over their heads.  You and Loki laughed like maniacs at their shocked faces along with Vis’ sheepish smile. 

“Are you sure you don’t want any sunblock on, Loki?"  You asked, wanting to make sure. 

"I’m positive, don’t worry about me."  He waved you off with a hand motion.

"Alright, let’s try something.  Let me put some sunblock on half of your body.  If you’re fine tomorrow, then I’ll never bug you about it again."  You grinned at him, holding the bottle up at him.

He debated your challenge, trying to decide if it was worth it or not.  "I accept your challenge on one condition.”

“And what’s that?”

“If I win, you have to let me take you out to dinner at a nice restaurant.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Quite possibly."  He had a small smile on his face in hopes that you’ll say yes. 

You pretended to contemplate and think over your answer before agreeing.  "You have yourself a deal.  Time to get the sunblock on.”

He grinned before pulling his shirt off, revealing the muscles underneath. 

This was going to be fun.

~

After you helped him rub the lotion onto half of his body (One arm, one leg, half of his back, and some on his face), the two of you decided to slip into the pool. 

You dunked your head underwater quickly, letting the water cool you off.  When you resurfaced, you were able to get a deep breath in before you felt Thor tackle you back in.  You struggled against him as he let go after a few seconds, allowing you to swim back up.  The two of you laughed as you coughed up some water. 

Meanwhile, Peter and Tony decided to tease Loki about how his hair’s wet and a “godly mess."  Loki rolled his eyes at the comments and tried to restrain himself from dunking them both underwater with magic.  He could handle it much better from Peter as he was younger, but Stark annoyed him to no end. 

You swam over to the three of them as you saw Loki’s frustration growing stronger and stronger.  You had to put a stop to it before he did something the Avengers would make him regret.  Even though he has been here for the past couple of years, they kept a careful eye on him just to be sure.

"Tony, I don’t know if you could hear them, but I overheard Thor saying he was the best Avenger,” You drew it out in a way that made Tony immediately run over to where Thor was talking to Clint and Nat.  He was loudly laughing about a story from Budapest.  Tony didn’t know that yet.

Peter smiled slightly and excused himself, going to go ask Wanda if he could do an interview with her for a summer project.  Loki looked over at you and breathed a sigh of relief.  “Thank you,” He said. 

“It’s no problem, I’m always happy to help.  Especially when those that need my help are cute,” You flirted with him.  You figured maybe it’d be a little fun to tease him about it.

“What’s the flirting for?” He asked, curious.  He was almost shocked by your behavior, but he didn’t mind it at all.

“Well, it may be a little fun to flirt with you before our date.”

“So you know I’m going to win?” He smirked.

“Oh no, I think you’re dead wrong.  See, I win either way with the flirting.  If you win, then the flirting pays off anyway.  If I win, then the flirting just makes it a little fun to tease you about later on when I have to reject your little dinner date.”

Loki rolled his eyes at your comment.   “I will win this challenge, Lady Y/N, especially considering it means I’d get to court you.”

“You won’t win.  I’ll have the aloe vera ready when you need it,” You winked at him before splashing him with water and swimming away quickly. 

Loki shook off the water and chucked quietly.  “Come back here you-!”

~

The next morning, you crawled out of bed to get a cup of coffee.  Most of the Avengers were already up, including Loki.  You walked out with a smile on your face as Tony was taking a couple pills. “I told you not to drink last night, but did you listen to me or Pepper?  Nope.”

“Enough, L/N.  I’m too hungover for your attitude." 

You laughed and poured yourself some coffee.  You turned to see Loki walk into the kitchen, placing a mug into a sink and throwing the tea bag out.   He didn’t like the taste of it because it wasn’t fresh tea.  He needed tea though to distract himself from the pain. 

"Good morning, Loki.   How are you feelin’?” You asked cheekily. 

“I’m feeling quite well, thank you for asking.   If you mean to ask if I’m sunburned though, I hate to break it to you, but I’m perfectly fine.” He smiled gently.

You tilted your head slightly.  “Show me then.  You shouldn’t have any problem with showing me your perfectly pale skin, Loki.”

“I have no problem doing so,” He smirked as he showed both of his arms.  They were equally pale, showing no signs of damaged skin. 

You squinted in suspicion.  It wouldn’t be the first time that you’ve seen him use an illusion to get what he wants.  You knew there was one person who could help you figure this out.   Thor.

“Thor!” You called out from the kitchen.   The God of Thunder was only in the room directly next to the kitchen.  Loki’s smirk disappeared quickly after you called for him. 

“Yes, Lady Y/N?” Thor asked as he walked in, a bright and kind smile on his face.

“Look at Loki’s arms.  Here’s a test.  Does he have an illusion on one of them?” You asked him.  Thor looked at his brother carefully.

“Yes, yes he does."  Thor ignored his brother’s glare.  You smiled at him, thanking him as he walked out of the room again. 

By that time, the rest of the Avengers had quietly snuck out of the room, leaving you and Loki alone.  Loki looked defeated as he let down the illusion.  His entire arm was a bright red.  Some of the skin had started to peel off already.  "Loki, how could you hide that?  That looks so painful!"  You exclaimed, going around to get the aloe vera cream from the cupboard.  

"I wanted to prove you wrong.  It doesn’t hurt that badly anyway,” He sighed as he took a seat at the counter. 

“Liar.  Come on, off with the shirt, if you have sunburn on your arm, that means you have it on your back and leg too."  You started putting the cream on your hand.

He slowly pulled off his shirt, revealing half of his skin to be a bright red.  You were shocked to see it this bad, but started applying the cream immediately.  He had to suppress a sigh of pleasure as the cream felt cool to his skin.  "Is that better?”

“Yes, thank you,” He quietly said.  The pain was easing slightly.

“Of course.  Don’t do anything like this again, alright?  You shouldn’t be in this much pain from a stupid challenge,” You sternly said, finishing up his back. 

“Understood.  I just wanted to prove to you that I’m better than any mortal man." 

"And you think the way to do that is by getting a sunburn and not telling me?”

He didn’t answer, so you decided to continue.  “You don’t need to prove yourself, Loki.  You’re better than any mortal man I’ve ever met."  You placed the cream away and took your now cold coffee. 

He smiled gently and placed his shirt back on.  "Oh, and Loki?” You said right as you were about to leave.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“Tony knows my favorite restaurant in the city.  When you find out what it is, I’ll go on a date with you.” You smiled.

“I have to find out from Stark?”

“That’s part of the fun.  It’s what you deserve for getting all burned up.”

“Friday night then?” He asked, trying to figure out a night before having to go confront Tony. 

You smiled before answering.

“It’s a date.”

[thenonsenseuniverse]

Coffee Cups & Leather Jackets

Hamilton Modern! AU Word Count: 2236 Hamilsquad x Reader Thomas Jefferson x Reader PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4,  PART 5, PART 6, PART 7 Summary: after a fight with the squad, the reader flashbacks to the past, and gets some help by an unlikely friend.

 “I just want to know what the fuck I did wrong!!” You hissed at your friends. “I haven’t seen you all in weeks, and every single time I try to make plans you all seem to drop out at the last minute!”             

One of them stepped forward. “Y/N…” 

“No, Herc.” You hissed, not willing to hear the next excuse that they wanted to throw at you. You were done with everything. “I don’t want to hear it. I guess you were all ‘too busy’, right? Just like you were the last hundred times.”  

 Alex groaned from his place by the counter. “ Come on! You’re being overdramatic. Just let us explain.”        

You glared at him and crossed your arms over your chest. “I don’t think so. Overdramatic would’ve been me freaking out like this after one week, or even two. But at first, I was stupid enough to believe that you guys were really just over stressed with working at the cafe or with classes and could understand that. And I did. But then three weeks past, and I still hadn’t seen any of you, so I invited you all over for a movie night, and once again you were all busy. Even then, I was still fine with it.” You could feel the lump slowly forming in your throat as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. “But then later that night, I was at the cafe, doing my homework, and saw you all walk into the movie theater together, laughing and having a great time. You did follow through with our plans, only without me.” 

The four of them, Alexander, Hercules, Lafayette, and John, stood there looking down guiltily. “Y/N, look we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to exclude you. It’s not what you think, it-” Laurens was desperately trying to explain. You knew that if any of them could get through to you, it was him. But there wasn’t time for that anymore. It was too late.

You scoffed and held up your hand to silence him. “No. I’m done. I’ve made enough excuses for you guys myself, I don’t need to hear another one.” You sighed, and shook your head, as you grabbed your bag from the table beside you. “I understand if you guys don’t want to be my friend.” Your voice had gone soft now, turning into something just a little over a whisper. “I don’t think anyone really does, I’m the weird kid remember?” You gave a sad chuckle and wiped at your face. You turned to them one last time, giving them a look that could dissolve even the strongest men to ashes. “But what I can’t understand is why you let me believe you actually cared about me. Why you lead me on for months. I’ve been through a lot of shit, but that has to be the worst. I’m done with being your guys’ charity project. Please, if you have consideration for me at all, just leave me alone.” with that you turned and left, doing your best to get out of their sight before they could see you weak.             

    You sat on one of the many benches in the quad, tears streaming furiously down your cheeks.  You knew it was pathetic to cry about four people who never cared about you, to begin with, and yet here we are.  You should’ve known it was too good to be true, there was no way that the infamous Hamilsquad would want to be friends with the likes of you. You could still remember the first day you met them. 

          It was your third week of freshman year at King’s College, and honestly, you were just barely keeping your head above the water. Your parents had filled your head with fantasies that college would be ‘a fresh start’ that you would make ‘so many new friends’ and that maybe you would actually come out of your shell a little. 

Boy, had they been wrong.

No, college was a lot like high school, only the insults weren’t as childish, and people found new exciting ways to pick on you instead of following whatever was cool at the moment. It was a shame considering your classes and professors were actually amazing, however, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to survive until graduation. 

“You know…” You looked up from your journal at the sound of a British accent approaching you from your right. A boy with loose, light brown curls, wearing a tight red t-shirt and white faux fur jacket that hung carelessly over his shoulders approached you. He had a posse of two following behind him. “I don’t think I’ve heard, the little church mouse here say a single word since the beginning of the school year.” You rolled your eyes at his tactics and tried to focus on your writing as his groupies laughed. He didn’t seem to appreciate that as a second later, your journal was snatched from your hands. 

“Hey! Give th-that back!!” You cried out, rising to your feet. 

He smirked as he held it above his head. “Oh! So the little mouse does speak!!” He laughed and looked down at you, as you tried to grab it back. “Shall we take a look as to what’s so important anyway? Samuel!” He threw the leather bound book over to one of the other boys, who had a hairstyle similar to him but was wearing all black. 

Samuel smirked and climbed on top of one of the benches. “September 21st, Dear diary.” The boy’s grin widened as he realized what they had stolen from you. “I’ve been at this godforsaken place for three weeks now, and I still haven’t found a trace of any intellectuals besides our professors. My parents were hopeful that I might actually make friends here, but I don’t think I want to. Why would I when I have Netflix and doughnuts in my dorm. I’m perfectly fine alone.” He stopped reading as he snickered. “Awww, is the weird kid lonely? Does someone need someone to talk too?” 

You could feel your cheeks grow red at their comments. “G-Give it back, p-please.” You asked quietly, thinking maybe being polite would make them change their mind. 

The word please seemed to strike something within the leader, as his eyes scanned your form. “Well since you’re so willing to beg..”Before he could finish a tall man, wearing a beanie ripped the book from Samuel’s hands, as a much shorter one sporting a ponytail, marched up to the leader. 

“Hey, George! Leave them alone. They didn’t do anything to you, so why don’t you and your group of stuck up pricks, piss off!” 

George opened his mouth to say something, but closed it as two other, very muscular, men came up behind him. You could see him pale slightly as he glared at the shorter one. He snarled. “For the billionth time, Hamilton, it’s King. Not George. And we were just leaving, the little freak didn’t have anything interesting written in there anyway.” He peeked around them and gave you a playful wave. “We’ll see you around, mousey. Sam, Charles! Let’s go.” He snapped his fingers, and the other two fell in line behind him as he walked away. 

A wave of relief fell over you but quickly went away as you remember the four new problems currently surrounding you. “C-Can,” You swallowed down your nervousness and held out your hand. “Can I have m-my journal b-b-back?” You cursed yourself for your stutter. It had the tendency to come and go but stayed with you most of the time unless you were with people you were comfortable with. Unfortunately, that group was limited to your parents and your siblings.

The one with the beanie gave it back to you with a small grin, which you returned as a thank you. You quickly went to gather your things, mumbling out non-sense as you did. “I-I’m sorry you h-h-had to do that. I-It wasn’t y-your problem, a-and I-I-I should’ve just left. I-I mean it’s no-not like there’s anything ex-ci-citing in there anyways. An-and you could-d’ve gotten i-in trouble.” 

A man with, what must be the curliest hair you’ve ever seen, tied up in a bun began to help you but your books in your bag. “Ce n’est pas un problem! George believes d’at everyone belongs to ‘im, and d’at you are only ‘uman if you make more d’an six figures. Il est un piece du merde.” You giggled at his accent.

“Well th-thank you for h-h-helping me. B-but you really didn’t h-have to-to.” You shrugged your bag onto your shoulders as you played with the straps. “I’m used t-to it by n-now.”

One of the men, who had a freckle spotted face, and long curly hair frowned. “Do people usually treat you like that?”

Once again you shrugged. “I d-don’t talk m-m-much. I-I guess it m-m-make me an eas-sy target.” 

The man’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “God, I hate people.” He stated. “They have no right to treat you like that! It’s bullshit! You’re a little shy, and you have a stutter, so what! I bet you’re still an awesome person!” You could feel a small smile form on your face at his obvious passion for equality and anti-bullying. “Do you have anyone to walk to your next class, or to your dorm with?” You shook your head. “Well you do now, let’s go.” He grabbed your hand and began to march in the direction opposite of your dorm. 

“John, what about our plans! We’re supposed to go hang out at the cafe!” You could hear the short one call out.

You could hear him mumble a small ‘oh shit’. He stopped for a second in thought before turning to you. “Do you want to come with us?” 

You blinked up at him in shock. No one had asked you to hang out with them since you were in middle school. From then on people claimed you were too weird to be seen with because you preferred the company of fictional characters than real people. You frowned and looked at them all again. “I-I don’t know who you are, and y-you d-don’t know me. Why would you w-want to h-hang out?”

John chuckled and pulled you towards the group. “Because that is how friends are made! You’re never going to get to know people if you don’t take any risks! Now, I’m John Laurens, I’m the president of the equality society and the PRIDE club. The Frenchy with the barely held back afro is  Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette, Marquis de Lafayette. But since no one has the time to say all of that, we just call him Lafayette, or Laf for short.” An offended ‘Hey!’ came from the Frenchman. “The intimidating man in the beanie is Hercules Mulligan. Don’t let his name or size intimidate you, the man is a walking teddy bear. He’s actually a fashion design major. And lastly, we have Alexander - Nonstop- Hamilton. The only student both stupid, and smart enough to be able to tackle a triple major. He runs on coffee, barely sleeps and appears to have a slight temper as the price of that.” 

As he listed off the names something clicked in your head, and you realized exactly who you were looking at. This was the self-named Hamilsquad, one of the most popular groups in the school. They were known for picking fights with others who didn’t treat other people fairly and were usually seen around the Schylur sisters. You couldn’t believe they were talking to you. “So,” Alex began, looking at you with a curious glint in his sleep-deprived eyes. “What’s your name. 

“Y/N. M-My name’s Y/N L/N. I h-haven’t g-gotten around to doing m-much.”

Hamilton chuckled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, as he pulled you into the group. “Well, just you wait, y/n. You hang out with us, and I guarantee you won’t have another dull moment for quite some time.” You smiled at his promise and nodded as you walked with them. For once you thought this might work. For once you thought maybe, just maybe you’d have real friends. 

You felt a sob shake your body at the memory. You missed them, they were all you had. They brought you out of the lonely shell you had formed around yourself and showed what it was like to be truly happy before locking you back into your prison. And now you were alone again. You were stupid to fall for their charm, but now al you wanted was to be in their arms again. They took apart of your heart that you didn’t know existed, and left you feeling cold, and empty inside. You just wanted to be whole again. 

“Excuse me, Darlin’“ You were torn from your thoughts by the sound of a deep southern drawl. You wiped at your face once more and looked up to see a man with warm brown eyes sporting a dark, magenta leather jacket on top of a black tee shirt. He gave you a pitiful smile and sat down beside you, pulling out a small pack of kleenex from his pocket. “You look like you could use some company.”

AN: Hello! This is just the beginning of a series I hope to do! Please tell me what ya’ll think, and we’ll see how it goes

[ticklishhpickle]

Worth The Whisk (4/?)

Summary: When superhero Dan Howell gets paired up with fellow hero and arch nemesis Phil Lester for an important mission, he’s pissed beyond belief. But as the two are forced to work together to take down the evil Dr.Bickletwist, Dan finds Phil might not be as awful as he first thought… (Phan superhero AU) 

Previous Chapter

Ao3 link

Dan was walking down the hallway with Tyler, dreading the mission ahead of him. He’d spent the whole weekend studying the papers the commander had given him and it was safe to say he was extremely well-prepared for the mission of hell with a certain black-haired man. Phil had interrupted him many times too, turning up to his and Tyler’s dorm, obviously in a panic and asking Dan about the tiniest , most insignificant details about Dr.Bickletwist. Dan was all for being well-prepared for the mission, but being enemies with Phil, it was just annoying.

The last time Phil had ‘visited’ Dan had kicked him out abruptly, slamming the door in his face seconds before hearing Phil swearing his revenge on the boy. Dan guessed it was kind of his fault for doing that, it would just serve to make the next day, or days, or weeks- however long it would take to defeat the villain- even more awkward.

“Excited for your mission, whiskorino?” Tyler chirped, in a suspiciously happy mood considering his best friend was leaving on a potentially life-threatening mission.

“No. To the nickname and your question. Of course not. Phil and I had another fight yesterday so it’s going to be even more awkward now! I literally cannot wait until this whole thing is over and Bickle is behind bars where he belongs.” Dan huffed, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, why are you in such a good mood? Aren’t you gonna miss me?” Dan asked teasingly, though secretly he was insecure about the fact that Tyler might not miss him as much as he was going to miss Tyler.

“Oh, of course I’ll miss you. I’m just really happy you’re gonna get to go on this mission of a lifetime! You’re gonna go down in history, Dan! You’ll be as well known as the Ocean Liner himself!” Tyler exclaimed, his blue eyes lighting up excitedly.

“Yeah, as if. No way someone like me could ever be as good as the commander. But I appreciate the sentiment, Tyler. I’ll try and make you proud.”

“Well I think not, but okay. And you will make me proud, as long as you try.”

The two friends walked for a couple seconds in comfortable silence, finally reaching the spot Dan was meeting Phil and the commander before Tyler stopped suddenly and grabbed Dan’s arm.

“Wait! Before you go, I have something for you. The first, is a piece of advice. Don’t let your hatred for Mr. Sunshine get in the way of the mission. There’s no way you’ll be able to do this alone, as great as I think you are. You have to work together.” Tyler said, all traces of the usual humour and jovialness gone from his face.

Dan sighed and rolled his eyes. He’d heard this a million times before, it was getting old and no one seemed to understand that Phil was well, kind of an ass.

“No, Dan. Listen to me. I don’t want you to ignore me on this, I hate being serious almost as much as you do but you need to take my advice.”

Dan looked at his friend’s face, feeling ashamed of his admittedly immature behaviour.

“Alright, fine. I’ll keep it in mind. And what’s the second thing?”

A huge grin spread across Tyler’s face, replacing the stern look that was previously occupying it. His hands twitched in excitement.

“Oh ho ho, mister Howell. You’re gonna love this.” Tyler reached into his pocket, felt around for a few seconds and extracted something small that he kept covered with his hands before bringing it to Dan’s face.

Tyler opened his hands like a clam.

“TA-DA!!!” he giggled, studying Dan’s face intently for a reaction.

Dan’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor and his eyes widened in rage or shock- he wasn’t really sure which, probably a mixture of both. Insider Tyler’s soft baby hands lay a teeny-tiny whisk on the end of a thin silver chain, shining innocently in the bright lights of the corridor.

Dan looked at Tyler with a face straighter than Tyler (and Dan’s) sexuality. He took a deep breath in to calm himself, and then breathed out. He looked at the ground, refusing to meet Tyler’s excited gaze.

“Tyler, you’re literally half a whisk joke away from me leaving your gay ass behind and getting a new best friend.”

Tyler scoffed.

“Yeah, good luck with that one, your equally-as-gay ass is as intolerable as mine. And I promise you this whisk-lace is not just for aesthetic appeal. It has a function too.” “I’m actually bi but whatever… Tell me what the function is then, if you want me to actually keep it.”

“All I’m gonna say Danny, is that they don’t call me the Flame-ingo for nothing. And you’ll regret it if you don’t bring it with you, trust me. But only use it in an ABSOLUTE emergency, you hear me?” Tyler poked Dan’s chest sternly, smiling gleefully.

“Ugh, fuck it. I’m already going on this stupid fucking mission with Lester, could wearing this whisklace really be any worse than that? I managed to escape one shitty name from hero school, I guess the universe wasn’t kind enough to let me escape my actual hero name.” Dan sighed and took the necklace from Tyler’s hand, making sure to put it on backwards so that it would be hidden by his cape.

“Oh, you mean ‘Dani snot on fire?’ I remember that! No one even said it correctly by the third week of year eight! Who even thought of that dumb name?”

“Uhm, it may have been me…” Dan admitted sheepishly.

Tyler nearly cried out in shock and delight, but Dan quickly put a hand over his mouth to stop any sound from escaping.

He looked around before lowering his voice to a small whisper. “Look, I don’t tell a lot of people, or anyone really, this. But as you know, my lesser known power is that I’m immune to burns and fire, so I thought it would be… cool to, you know, call myself ‘Dan is not on fire’. It was an ironic thing, really, and I was twelve but it took so damn long to shake off that name. It still haunts me to this day.” Dan cringed at his old self.

“Anyway, you are never to speak of this to anyone. If anyone asks, you still have no idea who thought of that dumb-ass name.”

Tyler was red in the face, clearly trying to hold back a dramatic fit of giggles. “Mm-hm!” he squeaked out, his voice being muffled by Dan’s hand.

“Now swear you’ll never speak of this to anyone. This is my darkest secret. I memed myself over.” Dan looked Tyler in the eyes sternly and lowered his hand off Tyler’s mouth cautiously.

“Okay, whisk-o. I won’t. But you can’t forget about the whisk. Just promise me that, okay?”

“Okay, I won’t. Thank you Tyler, for everything really. And if I don’t come back-”

“No! Don’t say that, you will!” Tyler rebuffed dramatically, not wanting to believe it.

“Tyler, it’s a possibility. If Dr.Bickletwist twists me over, just know that I appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me, despite your excessive whisk jokes. Thank you.” Dan smiled at Tyler before putting the code into the door and walking out.

“You’re welcome! Come home soon, I’m nothing without my number one whisk-a-roo!” Tyler joked, but Dan could see the tears welling in his eyes.

Dan quickly ran back to his friend, wrapping him in a hug. “This is stupid, we know I’ll be fine. I’ve been on so many missions before. I’ll come back soon, we’re being ridiculous. That bickle is no match for me.” He squeezed Tyler tighter in the hug.

“You’re right, I’m just really emotional because I think Louise’s period is coming soon and-”

Dan looked at his friend quizzically.

“You know that shouldn’t really affect your body, right? Just Louise’s.”

“O-oh. Um, I knew that.” Tyler sniffled.

“If you say so, Tyler. If you say so.” -

It had taken Dan a good few minutes to pry the flaming homosexual off of him, causing him to be a little late for take off. The commander was not happy.

“Daniel, I hope you know this is your second strike for tardiness. When i set a time for you to leave for a mission I expect you to be there at that time, not fifteen minutes after.”

Dan shrunk into himself, embarrassed that he’d let it happen again. It wasn’t his fault though, Tyler was literally clinging to him like a limpet.

“Sorry, it won’t happen again. Tyler had a little trouble saying goodbye… he’s very attached.” Dan said sheepishly.

“Well you and your boyfriend are going to have to find a way to be apart for a couple of days if you actually care enough to defeat Dr.Bickletwist, Dan.” Phil spat out saltily, particularly enunciating the word ‘boyfriend’ with venom.

Dan narrowed his eyes at Phil for what was probably the billionth time in his existence. “He’s not my boyfriend and even if he was he’s allowed to be upset that I’m leaving for a while even if it’s not going to be that long.”

Phil opened his mouth to retort but the commander stopped him.

“Daniel, Philip, I think it’s time you two stopped acting like children and starting acting like the heroes I’ve trained you to be. We don’t have time for your childish bickering.” The commander’s voice was sharp and cold, shutting the both of them up immediately.

The commander smiled when the silence was sustained after a few seconds. “Good. Now take these. They have everything you need in them.” The commander handed Dan and Phil identical compact purses. They did look small, but Dan knew they would probably carry fifty times the amount they looked like they should. The Ocean Liner was good at what he did.

“Don’t complain about the design. It looks great and you know it. Now off with you two.”

Dan awkwardly stuffed the purse into his pants, making it look like he had a hernia. He didn’t bother to fix it, today was already way too long and tiring.

The two men walked to the take off zone as slowly as the Ocean Liner would allow, which was not very slow at all. Dan looked down at his feet, up at his commander and finally directly at Phil. He exhaled slowly before hovering in the air. This was going to be his longest, hardest mission yet. An indefinite amount of time spent with his enemy was the last thing he wanted, or quite frankly needed at the moment, but he was going to have to do it. It would be worth it. Worth it for justice.

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