ilvckasoul

[bidokja]

been slowly building up to watching the new alnst since i woke up and finally ripped the bandaid off and like. i knew. i knew this would happen but no amount of knowing couldve prepared me for that at all

[natjennie]

thinking about the captain's stupid fucking uniform again. because the sam browne belt is still backwards. and we have no answers for that. but I have to think about him putting it on for the last time. not that he knew it was going to be the last time. but idk, the exact timeline between the war ending and the veteran's event is unclear, so I imagine there was some time in the middle there where he got to wear his civvies. there were a few days, between the life that trapped him and the death that did the same, where he was free. right? there had to be. just enough time to loosen the tie and breathe for a moment, to see what life might have been like without the army crushing his heart in his rib cage. and then, the party. a victory celebration. a relief. he had to dress himself back in the costume of a competent commander, for the chance to catch a glimpse of the only person in the forces worth a damn. he had to wrap himself in his own funerary shroud. had to buckle every strap and thread every button with shaking hands. and then he pinned that god damn medal bar right above his pocket like the last nail in his coffin. everything that killed him he did to himself. and then havers pressed the god damn stick into his hands, still warm from his touch, as he turned cold on the ground. and then he was stuck, for 70 years, suffocated by every reminder that the only world he thought he belonged in wanted him dead. and yet still, when asked what he would wear instead if he could, it's his uniform. I need to lay down.

[ehnrat]

let’s go outside smiling and holding hands and going lalalala while frolicking in a field where the grass, sky, and sun are all drawn in crayon. this can work for us

[backhurtyy]

packing for my trip to visit @beachytablecloth . what is life

[darlingdekarios]

can you please. stop talking.

[innateapathy]

I have no one I can talk to.

No one to bare my inner soul to.

No one to hide behind when I'm scared.

Of all these people that say they love me.

There's not one I can reach out to.

Not one who sees that I'm drowning.

No one who'll try and save me.

Will they at least mourn me?

[heyyfluffu]

i wish i'd transitioned earlier. i wish i didnt have adhd. i wish i didnt have ibs. i wish i wasnt scared of needles. i wish i went outside more. i wish i could drive. i wish i had the mental fortitude to get a job. i wish i had the confidence to talk to people. i wish i had money to go places. i wish i could dress how i want. i wish i'd gotten to be a child. i wish someone would help. i wish someone would help. i wish someone would help. i wish someone would help.

[ishmerra]

i’m aware of how this doesn’t matter on any scale of the universe but i am in love with the idea of the dynamic of these three. they are so cute!!!!!

[doodlebug-aboo]

scream from hsm3 is a fabian aramais seacaster song and you’re allowed to disagree but i know in my heart that it is true and right.

[killakalx]

tattoo artist!terry mcginnis who you met during your visit for a tramp stamp

[deargravity]

paralive has been kind of pissing me off recently but let me not linger on that lmfao i will muscle through this for visty lore

[adrianlovesyou]

i like music. i like books. i like plays. i like watching plays, being in plays, reading plays. i like collecting playbills.

i like the piano, the violin, the harp. i like writing music, listening to music, playing music. i like a little bit of everything.

i like Mary Shelley, Oscar Wilde, Donna Tartt, Christopher Paolini, Rick Riordan. i like horror, mystery, fantasy, science fiction, thrillers. i like Frankenstein and The Last Man and The Picture of Dorian Gray and The Secret History and The Goldfinch.

i like coffee, i like tea. i like pomegranate black tea and matcha and hazelnut syrup.

i love pomegranates. the seeds, the tea, anything with pomegranates.

i hate pineapples. i haven't eaten one in years. i can't stand to be within five feet of one.

i like science and english. i can't quite sit through math. i believe there's a world where i would like math, but it isn't like this.

i like film. i like to edit films, to analyze films, to watch films with a bit of sweet and salty popcorn. i like sweet and salty popcorn. i don't like cheese popcorn, and i don't always like caramel. sometimes it's too sweet and too sticky.

i have a cat. she likes spending time outside, and she's rarely home when i'm home. sometimes at night, she sleeps in my bed.

sometimes at night, i sit outside with my cat and we look at the stars. i like looking for Perseus. i like looking for the Pleiades.

i like going outside. i like riding my bike at night and swimming in lakes. there are no good lakes near where i live, only pools.

i hate swimming in pools. i was on the swim team once. i swam a really fast backstroke. i miss feeling fast, but i can't have that anymore.

my sister swam on the swim team. she did cross country too. she rides her bike too.

i have sisters. i wish i had brothers. i wish i had a twin brother. i wish someone would keep me company. my siblings have their own lives now, and it gets awfully lonely at home.

i get awfully lonely at home. and at school. i have friends, plenty of friends, but nobody i trust, nobody i truly want to tell all of this to.

[xoadoratio]

there’s something beautiful about the lack of organization on this site. like hell yeah my mutuals are getting shock metal and plushies reblogged on the same acc within five minutes of each other because that’s my brain baby!!!!!

[danvsblogging]

She feel on my good till i inc

[natjennie]

the fact that none of the ghosts that were there commented on caps death. we saw them outside by the car when he was trying to get in so like. yeah maybe they weren't there. but you would think the commotion would've made them come running. what I'm saying is if they were there, none of them piped up. they didn't tell his story for him. they didn't playfully chide him, reminding him they saw it happen. at every other emotionally charged death flashback, there is another ghost's opinions. but they let him have his. do you understand how much that means to me. they didnt talk over him they didnt belittle how much bravery it took to finally talk about it. they didnt joke they didnt pry they didnt make it about themselves. they let him say his piece. and stood at his side in the aftermath. is anyone hearing me.

[heyyfluffu]

im so sick of seeing two dozen tumblr posts a day telling me i'm not doing anything right

tumblr is all about "don't tell disabled people to work harder or give 110%" and shit like that until i'm too lazy to get a job or car or find events or vote or any number of other things