#IM very happy about it. but it would have been better if they conveyed that he didnt do those things from the start

[puhpandas]

The thing I hate and love about Cassie's dad's narrative is how it was used.

I remember almost crying and throwing up once it was revealed that he was killed and shoved into mask bot, literally dooming his daughter.

I'm someone who enjoys the emotional element of a story just as much as the narrative element of a story. Him literally being used as a tool for Steel Wool feels so unsatisfying to me because there was so much potential.

Him being Bonnie bro is a nice easter egg and all and also ties in with the theme of karma because of what he did when he was young but there's still this thing bothering me about it.

Like- so what? So what if he was one of the bullies? It's cool and all but at least give me some relevance to other than just a mention and a mask!

Other than that he has basically no lore relevance. I want him to be important to the storyline! This is why I theorized at one point that he was going to be the protagonist of SoTM so that he had at least has SOME more relevance in the plotline.

Him being another Jeremy is so insignificant to me. I want to feel a connection with the character. I want to feel sadness. I want to feel dread. I want to feel sorrow because we don't know if he was a good dad or not. We know so little about him!!

Cassie might have lost an actually good parent and knowing this franchise there are very few good parents.

It's just... So frustrating.

I'm personally someone who dislikes Cassies dad, but I think ur ask is a perfect example of how they handled him wrong. with the current evidence, it really is just looking like Cassies dad will be a Jeremy, someone who existed to serve the plot and then die. but for like, months, SO many people thought he was more important, he built mxes, he set up the nodes in ruin, etc. it always infuriated me because Gregory vanessa and Freddy had always deserved that relevancy and to do those actions in the story to me. and I feel so much satisfaction that the evidence and canonicity has been like, leaned back towards them a lot, more than it ever was before

but again, I think that goes to show how much they didnt make their intentions with Cassies dad clear, and its hurting both sides, my side who hated him because it felt like he took screentime and story importance from characters who deserved it more, and your side, who genuinely like him as a character and were excited to see him more

it's just like. now both sides have had to experience disappointment regarding him. maybe I'm wrong about Cassies dad and things will change again, but it really is looking like hes a throwaway, which is satisfying to ME, but they handled his character in a way where people like you LIKED that he was prob lore relevant, so now that he isnt it's very unsatisfying to you

I wish they would just. make their intentions more clear. I have my own personal thoughts on if Cassies dad being lore relevant or not would be better or worse for the story regarding Gregory vanessa and freddys screentime, but the point is that both sides of the fans were let down in a way they didnt need to be. it's frustrating. it just would have been so much better if they conveyed that from the start.

tbh I dont even think hes gone forever and I think theres a chance he could have more going on. like, I thought it was really possible Cassies dad was the arcade guy from sb at some point, so maybe hes who freed Gregory from dr rabbit or something. and also, that plotline u were talking about about the emotion of the story with cassie and her dad, I feel like that wont be sweeped under the rug. I feel like theyll show Cassies grief over her dad at least once. if she has a mom itd be interesting thinking about/seeing how she would handle that grief with her mom. but these are all things that he wouldnt be like, actively doing present day. the 1st idea is a prequel thing, and the 2nd idea is just his death affecting another character, but maybe if something like that happened itd be satisfying for you as a Cassies dad fan

[spearxwind]

your comics are so freaking cool, and your storytelling is so captivating! I love when you post them! What's your thought process when making them, and organizing layouts and stuff? ive been wanting to make some of my own, but it's so difficult organizing it in a cohesive manner.

Whough thank you so much!! I've been working a lot on my panels and layouts so im really happy that its coming across :)

I won't lie though, it's very hard for sure! It's something you definitely have to practice before you start to see results (at least in my case)

Personally I like to take a lot of inspiration from cinematography for my panels and posing. Knowing a little bit about camera angles, establishing shots, and what the director (you in this case) wants to convey with each shot helps set everything up.

A comic however, has the "drawback" that it's still images, so you have to adapt the tricks you see in film for it to work.

Something that also helped me eventually is I did a lot of comics and planned a lot of panels, and often I found myself thinking "but the way I wrote/scripted this I didnt have the space to draw this SPECIFIC POSE or this SPECIFIC SCENE thats really important and I wanted to do" so what I started doing is think about THAT and draw around it. I find it easier to have a couple specific images in my brain and connect the dots between them than just draw continuously and never get it where I want to.

Having a solid script is also a huge help, at the end of the day a comic is still a reading experience, so it HAS to be easy to read. And at that point you have to ask yourself what kind of paneling would ENHANCE this script/situation?

Contrast between two panels where one is overcharged with detail and another is completely empty. Panels that mirror each other when someone is having an argument. Panels that are cut diagonal or where the frame is the shape of another object, etc etc. If you study comics by other people you eventually become aware of all of these visual tricks and it makes it easier to imagine your own :)

all in all keep making comics!! even if its not too cohesive at the start, just keep going and finish stuff. you'll get better with time, and if you have finished stuff then you have references for yourself down the line!

[wrongcaitlyn]

I WABT TO KNOW ABT KAYLAAAA. Tell me every single little hc u have for her pleasee🙏🙏🙏 I love her sm and the underatedness of her character is crazy. Tyt or canon anything pls😁😁😁

AHSDHFSDJFSD OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. I LOVE HER. SO MUCH.

i made a post abt her music taste (in talk your talk, but could also be canonverse tbh) on her tyt birthday here - and now onto some other hc's

(AND LITERALLY SHE DESERVES SM MORE ATTENTION SHE IS SUCH AN ICON)

canon: (most of these are taking from my will series bc i put in a lot of cabin 7 hc's into there but that series is mainly focused on will!)

pretty sure this is canon or at least like a universally accepted hc but she was closest with michael, and having lost him hit really hard.

i also think even though she's younger, she arrived at camp before austin, but they both arrived at pretty close intervals so after the battle of manhattan, they were treated as a pair and went pretty much everywhere together

kayla and austin arrived just before the battle of the labyrinth

kayla was already better than most of her siblings at archery when first arriving at camp because darren had taught her - and she already knew she was a daughter of apollo when first arriving bc darren was one of the few parents who, like, knew who her dad was - and he told her before she had to leave

and speaking of darren, they're very close. i tried to convey that in tyt too but i just love a good healthy father daughter relationship and they have that!!

coach hedge brought her to camp

eventually she stops dying her hair green and switches it out for a few different colors, but then reverts back to green a few years later because it's her favorite

she often complains about teaching archery lessons because she's not the greatest teacher, but she's also the best of the apollo kids at archery - but when she eventually finds another apollo kid who's pretty alright at archery she jumps to get away from that role

however she does becomes cabin counselor after will because of seniority

i think she had longer hair when she was younger that darren always put up in two french braids, but then on her way to chb something happened that made her have to chop it off. then she realized she liked it better that way and kept cutting it shorter

talk your talk!

KAYLA AND NICO ARE CONCERT BUDDIES. i feel like i've already said that. but i love it. kayla "uses" him to try and see the artists backstage after the concert or get vip seating, but she's also a total pit girlie and will arrive at the venue hours early to get barricade (am i projecting? maybe)

most avid tiktok user, up there with leo with her social media addictionsdkf

is very easily recognized in public due to the redhead/green hair dye combo- and even though she's a pretty niche celeb she still gets recognized in public a lot

yet she still refuses to change her hair dyeJSDF

nicknamed "Daughter of Apollo" for obvious reasons

i mentioned this in my music taste hc's but she can sing. like. insanely well. she could've been a singer if she wasn't committed to archery. i think it's kinda funny bc i bet that when darren and apollo were still dating they had some kind of bet on which field kayla would go into (with no doubt that she'd be in some way famous) and so when apollo heard her sing at karaoke night for the first time he was like "goddamnit i bet if i had been in her life i could've convinced her to be a singer"- but not completely seriously bc like ofc he's still incredibly proud of his daughter

lovessss to be on podcasts. let her yap!!

she went to a very small (im talking like total <15 people in her class) private school in canada (paid for by apollo) because of all the media frenzy (even though it had mostly died down). that, along with eventually moving in with apollo and going to another private school, made it really hard for her to learn how to socialize / make a really solid friend group (totally not projecting again). i touched on this in ch 7 of greatest of luxuries but she had a hard time fitting into her "friend group" who didn't really contact her after she left - and she jumped at being homeschooled. michael is her first real friend and they are very much grumpy & sunshine coded, but michael really does care for her like a little sister after a while (aka like 10 minutes)

she is just so very youngest child codedLKSJDF

thank you for the ask!!! i absolutely ADORE kayla she deserves everything <3

[tadpolesonalgae]

Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually) I couldn’t help myself this time though and just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else. Thank you for sharing all the amazing writing🙇🙇 I hope you’re taking care of yourself!!💝🌸

…Moving forward…I’m sorry for my ramblings🫠 there’s just so much to talk and love about your stories

Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas. The thought of someone being such a big part of your life and just being gone one day over a terrible situation (whether it’s a good or bad thing that they’re gone), atp it’s so built into your routine that you can’t help but check on them or think of them even when you shouldn’t.

Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room. Cause I understand her sisters wanting to make her room feel more cozy again, and wanting to make her happy with the time she has left AND most importantly, conveying that it isn’t a “waste” to buy her things. BUT I ALSO UNDERSTAND READER’S MENTALITY AND I WILL ADMIT IVE GOTTEN FRUSTRATED IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS. Genuinely it does not feel good when you feel like you’re wasting other people’s money or time

Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them (I say it’s cause I have massive faith in your writing ability to make their relationship come together☝️✨) BUT WJDJJWD I was almost thinking “just what is it that he wants??” Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now(? 2-3 times isn’t that many but I digress) while also flashing from decently warm (decently is important here) to extremely cold or indifferent.

“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)

Okok and now the part I’m slightly confused about right? Now it’s very clear that reader isn’t the most emotionally stable and she is very very deadset on the belief that they hate her. So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong. What may look like ‘a horrible secret being revealed’, could actually be Az just- almost not knowing what to say to make things better? Or just…not knowing how to handle this? The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS. And so he opted to be cold so she would hate him which I almost think that’s cause of his own deep rooted fears and hatred for himself (especially cause of the ‘if she thinks she’s in love with him, she should know how awful he is’ line). And that’s the part he doesn’t wanna expose to her (MAYBE??) as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)

Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝

‘Hi hi! Im usually a lurker (first time sending anything in actually)’

Ahhh hello!! Very happy to have you here (whether you’re lurking or chatting in ��💛)!

‘just really needed to say you are one of my favourite writers! Went from binging cbmthy to binging everything else.’

Really?? ☹️🫂🫂 I’m so happy you liked cbmthy enough to explore further! I hope none of it was too jarring to read—I imagine hopping from angsty cbmthy to smut riddled basically-everything-else might be a bit surprising at first 😭

Please do not worry about rambling, I love love love hearing from people and chatting!! 🧡💛 (I also find it very helpful too—anyone who’s been here since the beginning of cbmthy will be able to confirm I relied—and still do kind of—a lot on feedback to help me measure angst levels and steer the story progression 🫣)

‘Ngl the first line of chapter 22 already made my heart ache🫠 just cause i felt it so deeply that reader almost routinely wants to talk to Bas.’

Yes! And it’s not like anyone other than Mor might have any reason to go to the Winter Court so it’s like he’ll be completely out of reach once he’s gone!

Though while I think it will be painful for reader to lose him like that—in the way that he won’t be completely gone, but just far enough she can’t reach him—it might push her to venture further in attempts to find a way to get another third space for herself (or I guess technically second space, since she’s only really in the River House now with her sisters and the IC)? I think that might be exciting to see?

What you said about doing things out of habit though, expecting someone to be there once they’re not…do you think anyone might spot a single empty chair and pause? Or pass a pair of gloves and remember sensitivity in their fingertips? After six months has passed, I mean

‘Idek how to feel about her sisters constantly wanting to buy things for her room.’

Yes, even though Rhys is probably horrifically wealthy, and even if that wealth is extended to Feyre and her sisters, I don’t imagine reader would ever really feel like it was hers. Or that she’d earned it.

If reader could accept that offering I think things could be very happy though. Imagine having an entire space designed specifically you? With the colours you like, evidence of hobbies scattered around? A safe place to be?

Also being on the other end of reader’s illness, I think it would be natural to want to make someone’s life as happy and as comfortable as possible if you knew it was coming to the end. It’s just unfortunate there’s still that small barrier between them :/

‘Now Az…man Az…I’m probably in the minority of rooting for him even when the worst interactions happened between them’

Yes! Yes! Finally! I’ll shower you in metaphorical flowers!! Thank you!! I promise it’ll get better, just stick with me and everything will be fine!!

‘Cause first, he’s the one who keeps seeking reader out now’

I think it’s very funny that they keep meeting, and trying to have a normal conversation and just,,,failing,,,consistently 🤭

‘“You kissed me back” EXCUSE ME? WHAT? LIKE- OKAY??? AND?? YOU DIDNT HAVE TO INITIATE IT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW SHES SO DOWN BAD(???)’

I adore that I could practically hear the indignant splutter through the screen 😭🧡💛

To be fair, in that moment Azriel thought that reader was accusing him of sexually taking advantage of her which is why he opposed her in a way that was kind of embarrassing for her, when reader was actually talking about Azriel using her to get a read on Elain (which yay, reader’s keeping that in mind now!!)

‘So it wouldn’t surprise me if she took Az’s reaction wrong.’

👀? To be fair, if she’s convinced herself that everyone hates her, I imagine convincing herself that Azriel might try to kill her out of revulsion wouldn’t be a tricky task 😭

‘The line I’m questioning is “Azriel doesn’t care if she hit the nail on the head” how I took it is that what she said wasn’t necessarily correct but it doesn’t matter cause Az doesn’t want her to think he reciprocates but he also doesn’t want to reveal a “part of himself”👁️👁️ CURIOUS, VERY CURIOUS.’

So I’m actually very curious to see how people interpreted this part because I think it’s the closest we’ve gotten so far to understanding an element of Azriel’s cold behaviour towards Reader?

I’m not going to elaborate on this part because it will be expanded upon later in the series and I don’t want to spoil anything, but yeah. It was fun to write those two paragraphs from Az’s perspective 🥲

‘as well as he actually probably pays way more attention to her than she thinks (Mr. I-know-you-have-a-small-scar-from-the-arrow)’

I want to say I ADORED that scene and I think reader was probably frozen from awe too. I mean, we know how flustered she gets from holding a conversation with him alone, not to mention when close proximity is added since Reader was obviously raised human, and time alone with a man + TOUCHING??? = Marriage. Horse and carriage. COURTING. (I’m being hyperbolic 😶)

Since I think that’s how reader’s been raised to view those things, I imagine she attributes much more meaning to them than any of the born-fae do, hence all the flushing and embarrassment and elevated heart rates 🤭

(That’s not to say that Azriel was flirting with her. More that they have different perspectives on how to display intimacy—also will be elaborated on—and while reader knows Azriel doesn’t mean those things in the way she understands them, that doesn’t remove their significance for her which makes her feelings much more difficult to temper :) )

Like him touching the spot atop her heart?? Much more intimate than a one night stand where it would only be physical nakedness 😭

‘Anyway that’s my rambling, please let me know if I misunderstood some of the text with Az!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, HEART WRENCHING CHAPTER, EXCITED ABOUT THIS PRISON BREAK SITUATION💝💝’

I loved reading you ramble and I’m so flattered you had so much to say about it!! Obviously I enjoy cbmthy since it takes up quite a lot of my time, so getting to hear people like yourself who’ve decided to read all the parts and then further decided to take some time to type messages out into my inbox? 🧡💛🫂🫂🫂

I love it, so much, so thank you for reading and enjoying!! I hope it continues to be a fun adventure! ☹️🫂

[xuune]

dropping this here because I kinda wish I'll snap out anytime soon from listening to the playlist you made for your last art, but here I am, booming 8:00, get me some, wyd, wounds will h.eal, and enclosed in my earphones at midnight. i think your music taste is fire, i'll give you that. mygods (ง •_•)ง

anw, I wanted to ask on how you decide and plan expressions/interactions for the characters when you draw your works? I always find your works to be so expressive. thanks in advance if you ever see this :OOO

p.s. I LOVE YOUR OCs, i think i'm in love with rael i genuinely wish they'll give me a headlock or smthn and i'll be happy p.p.s. i would marry your art if I could (i'm this fkn close 🤏 pls dont sue me)

(sorry for taking so long to reply, you'll know why once you read the rest of this lol)

im so glad that you had those as your faves bc those are some of mine too :D i've been seeing a few ppl rly enjoy 8:00, and if it wasn't for my friend recommending me that song, we wouldnt be here, and those drawings wouldnt have existed either, let alone the animatic i did

thank you for thirsting over my ocs, you don't know how much of a compliment that is whenever i see ppl react that way to them LOL. thats how i know i peaked with their design 😎 stay tuned for some other oc art, cuz im currently working on a piece for my friend's ocs. his ocs exist in the same universe as mine :)

i'll answer your question about planning expressions and interactions below, bc i have a lot to say about that:

when planning for expressions and interactions, i'm usually trying to answer a couple of these things:

what moment do i want to highlight

why is this moment significant

how do these characters feel in the moment, how to they react to each other, what's their motivations

what body language best answers the question above ^

basically, i'm asking myself "what's the scene?" -> "what do the characters feel in that moment?" -> "how do they act this out to convey that?" (that's how i was taught to read scripts for plays. you must understand character motivations before you figure out how to act their feelings out)

it's very important to have a good balance of body language and dialogue to convey the mood if/when appropriate, since sometimes strictly relying on dialogue to sell the moment w/o body lang or vice versa can tank the execution

i assume that you're more interested in how i planned the interactions for them sharing music? lmk if there's like specific ones, bc i can explain more for whatever else it may be

anyways, i start off with scripts of some kind. my scripts can be very barebones that just note a specific scene (i.e. "working at desk, listen to music together before class starts"), or that i build a moment based on a piece of dialogue (i.e. "better not queue anything lame"). here's the notes i made when i made the 8:00 animatic, since thats big on body language

i wanted to get down my main ideas first, which was figuring out the the lyrics i wanted to use paired with dialogue to match. i dont show my thinking much on some of my notes, but what i was getting at this:

story moment: dk connecting the context of the song to his intimate moment with bkg

key moments: waking up, playing with hands, eye contact w/ bkg

i didn't expand on the ideas for how those moments would look until i actually started thumbnailing for the animatic, which i showed briefly here. here's what i kept in mind for their expressions/interactions:

dk shies away from directly confronting bkg outwardly expressing his feelings for him via the song. he avoids it and changes the topic verbally to make the conversation lighthearted -> "what expresses avoidance?"

bkg is direct about his feelings, his actions and expressions must convey a direct confrontation, an attempt to make dk acknowledge how he feels about him thru the song and potentially get a response from him -> "what expresses straightforwardness?"

here's what i decided would visually answer those questions

the implications of character's expressions also factors in the circumstances of their situation. without the context, the execution tends to fall flat. if you didn't know that they were listening to a song that's all about romantic pining, then you probably would've been questioning why the fuck are they just staring at each other, or assumed that one is shy of the physical interaction when that's not the point; its the dawned realization and the acknowledgement of the other's feelings.

my other drawings for that thread followed the same kind of planning tbh, lol. all those drawings had the lyrics set the stage for how the characters are feeling, and i'd have to figure out what about their facial expressions and body language best matches the context of the situation. here's this brief example:

but yeah, that's generally how i plan for expressions/interactions. sometimes i just get a rush of interaction ideas that is centered on one specific question i want to explore, like:

what do their mundane parts of life look like?

how do they physically react to realizing their feelings for the other?

how is someone anxious about the other person's perception of them in the comic i'm drawing?

and then build off from there. hope that helped :D

[ssuperficialspacecadett]

W o w

2 more stellar chapters!!!!! I can’t wait for our fav receptionist to try out being a ring girl! (Is the asshole guy gonna try something and we get to see Frankie/the guys jump in? Bc protective men is 😭😭)

Anyway I love love love how you wrote the guy’s relationships with each other!!!!

If and only if inspiration strikes, I would love a scene from a “guys night”

Either before our girls comes into their lives or after, just then having fun and being them 🥹 bc I feel a lot of fics over look the importance of their friendship esp in regard to Frankie like Frankie fics will sometimes act like he has had no support until the girl comes in his life but yours just shows how much they all love each other

Doesn’t gotta be long (or even at all!) maybe just a nice lil thing 🥰

Ily have a wonderful day!!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Best Friends, Beers, and Bets - Through the Scope Drabble

Rating: everyone (just the boys being silly and goofy together)

Word Count: 1K

Notes: hi everyone ! i know i have been gone for a hot minute and i am deeply sorry about that. there has been a lot of not so fabulous things going on in my life and in my mental state that has left with with little motivation to write. the worst part is? im 3/4 done with chapter 11 ... like girl plz just finish that hoe DAMN ! but i found the motivation today to write for this lovely ask i received a little bit ago (: i love the idea of getting to take a peak inside how the TF boys are before Estrella came into the picture. so a very big thank you to @romanarose for this !! chronologically, this takes place before chapter one.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Frankie, Will, and Santi sit together in the back of The Barrel at their usual table. The bar isn't particularly full this evening, but the comforting hum of conversations emitting from the regulars fill the empty chairs. They talk and laugh amongst each other as they wait for their last member to arrive: Benny. It had been only four days since his receptionist quit, but the hurt was apparent to everyone. Usually, she was the one to help him clean up after they close the gym down for the evening. Both of them managed to get it done relatively quickly too. Unfortunately, in her absence, Benny had to do it all himself. The other guys had repeatedly offered to give him a hand in the evenings, but Benny refused. He said that he had it covered and that they should just wait for him at the bar. Not wanting to press him further, the trio would retreat across the street. 

“Here he is! We all thought you fell into the washing machine and couldn’t get out.” Santi claps Benny on the shoulder as he makes his way to buy a round for everyone. 

“You were 15 minutes slower than yesterday.” Will says, tapping his watch while his brother takes a seat next to him. 

“Gee, that makes me feel great! Fish, do you want to rub salt in my wounds too?” 

“I’m just happy you’re finally here, man.” Frankie’s eyes convey sincerity. “But you’re going to run yourself ragged doing all that clean up by yourself. Why don’t you let us help?” 

“Yeah.” Santi rejoins the table and passes out the bottles. A few seconds of silence go by as each man takes a moment to wash away the stress of their day with deep gulps of chilled liquid. “We are offering to help you clean. It’s not like you’re forcing us.” 

Will nods in agreement and tips his bottle in both Frankie and Santi’s direction.

“I just hate the idea of y’all doin’ work I’m completely capable of.” 

“It doesn’t make you any less of a man if we help you clorox a few work benches, Benny.” Frankie says gingerly.

“I know, I know. To be honest with y’all?” Benny scoots closer into the table. “It’s kinda lonely there without someone to talk to in between clients.”

“My bed is going to be kinda lonely too if it makes you feel any better.” Santi offers. 

This manages to get a laugh out of the very tired looking Benny. “Oh is it now? Poor you.”

“Poor me is right! Your receptionist may have kept you company during the day but she kept me company during the night. Now that she's quit, that means I have to as well.”

“That’s not what that means at all, Pope.” Will says with a raised eyebrow. “You can still see her even if she doesn’t work at Brass Knuckles anymore.” 

“Well she also started talking about getting exclusive…”

“And there’s the real reason!” Will laughs. 

“Can we get back to my issue?” Benny begs. “What do I do? No one has answered the ads I’ve posted online. I don’t know how much longer I can handle juggling training clients and taking care of the in between tasks.”

“What about good old fashioned paper flyers? You could give some to me to hang at the auto shop. Will could take some to the VA?”

“Absolutely not.” Santi says with conviction. “I will not have a man take this job and ruin my chances of meeting another beautiful woman.” 

“Fine.” Frankie rolls his eyes. “What about a bookstore or a coffee shop? Does that sound better to you?”

“That’s not a bad idea, but do people even read those flyers? I know I don’t.” Benny shrugs.

“Well you’re not the one that's desperate for a job. I would just make sure you print out the ads on bright paper so it catches peoples eye.” 

“That’s not a bad idea either.” Benny says to his brother. “Still, who knows how long it's going to take before someone calls about it?” 

All four men are quiet as they brainstorm possible solutions to the problem that's currently plaguing them.

“I’ve got it!” Santi snaps his fingers. “I bet you that you can’t find another receptionist within a week of the last one leaving.” 

“Pope, what the fuck?” Benny looks shocked.

“Yeah, why are you actively saying he can’t do it?” Frankie questions. 

Santi only chuckles and Will shortly joins him when he puts the pieces together in his head. 

“You cabrons aren’t listening to me. I bet you that you can’t find another receptionist within a week of the last one leaving. You’ve never backed away from a bet as long as I’ve known you, Benny.” 

“He does love to prove you wrong, Pope.” Will has his arms crossed over his stomach and they rise and fall easily as he begins laughing again. 

A look of realization settles over the two other men.

“Alright, I’ll take you up on that.” Benny and Pope shake hands across the table. “You’re a dick though. She’s been gone for four days now. I only have three days to find someone else to hire.” 

“Damn.” Pope takes a sip of his drink. “I guess you better get your ass into the printer shop tomorrow and make some flyers. If you don’t, drinks are on you when the clock runs out.” 

Will and Frankie cheer knowing that no matter how this bet ends, they will be getting free beer. 

“What happens if a man calls before a woman does?” Benny looks smugly at Pope. “I’m not goin’ to tell him no if it’s in my three day window of search time.”

“Won’t happen. I can feel it in my bones.” 

“Even if, what did you say before, a beautiful woman calls about the job, that doesn’t mean she’ll want to immediately hop into your bed.” Frankie states playfully.

“You think she’s going to want to hop into yours, Fish?”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

{tag list: @cutesyscreenname @rsquared31 @smol-beb @bitchwitch1981 @avastrasposts @hoeslingz @saltybutteredtoast @javicstories @c-justhere @pimosworld @modernperplexity @beboldbebravethings @mxtokko @moonliqhtszn @tanzthompson @megcads @myloveistoolittle @casa-boiardi @jitterbugs927 @partyofone3413 @pedrit0-pascalit0 @golden-library @pati-et-vivere @mashomasho @lilmizmoz @angstylittlepascal @sofiparallel @selflcontrol @adriennemichelle98 @painitemoondust @pedritosgirl2000 @tpwkmera @romanarose @missbabyjay @missgurrl }

[inventedfangirling]

Nanon + Khao in 55:15 Never Too Late appreciation post

I had been wanting to watch "55:15 never too late" for the LONGEST time. For several reasons not least among them was that it featured two of my most favourite thai actors - nanon & khaotung. And pls the premise of five 55 year olds returning to their younger 15 yr old bodies in order to make some changes to their past selves and the hijinks that ensue is interesting enough. But ofc the prime reason i was there was to watch the acting masterclass that i knew nanon and khaotung would deliver. I'm only 3 episodes in but im already bowled over.

Nanon especially. I don't know if there is any role that he can't do. he just becomes the role he is doing. It's virtually impossible to see nanon in the role he is playing.

This scene where he is hiding from prim. What shook me was just how much of childishness nanon was able to convey in this scene. He's playing a 15 year old after all. And he does an excellent job of it. Not at all in a forced caricature sorta way. In fact he was so convincing i had to replay several scenes multiple times. It was so very impressive.

And look at that. That's pining personified and you cant even see his face. He is just THAAAT good.

His body language, his micro-expressions, the delivery of dialogues, everything is just pure perfection.

Look at him absolutely nail the look of a lost hurt child who doesn't know who or what to turn to. He really has no business being this good!?!

I was in a bad mood when i was watching that episode. But Nanon is just so good at his job that by sheer force of his acting brilliance he turned my mood around.

His dimples helped for sure. of course.

i mean LOOK AT THEM.

This scene was especially fantastic. Really fun to watch.

But i meant something much more intangible.

You know that feeling when you feel better just by seeing certain works of art, a painting or a sketch, or if you're looking at the sky, or listening to a piece of music, just knowing that such beauty exists in the world by itself enough to lift you up?

Watching Nanon do his thing in this episode felt more or less like that!

Especially this scene that took my breath away.

How was he just 20 when he did this??? it's so mind blowing!

I'll never not be beyond grateful that i decided to watch bad buddy, cos 1. it gave me patpran and 2. it gave me nanon! one of the finest actors i have seen in my entire life. EVER. And he's just 22? I really can't wait to see what all he does over the course of his acting career!

Episode 3 follows the adventures of Khaotung's character "Songpol". I loved his story the most out of all 5 of them. No surprises here. How it's about an adult closeted gay man decides to stop suppressing his identity and live out a life he had denied himself all along. How he has known that he was gay for decades but because he hid that part, he still remains a sorta baby gay at the age of 55, and how this time/body reversal situation gives him a second chance at a more free life.

And while there were fewer opportunities for moments of acting brilliance, he did amazingly well in whatever there was.

And more importantly there wasn't a single second where he was on screen where my heart wasn't brimming with affection.

I especially am LOVING this gay uncle and supportive niece dynamic. We usually see it the other way around so loving this twist on the usual trope. Also khaotung does SO well in this scene where he is occupying his 15 yr old body but his facial expressions reveal the maturity of a 55 year old uncle of his niece who he is talking to.

Also LOVING the way he fanboys over "Jaya".

His devotion is so visible. It's unbelievably endearing. I would make a home for him in my pocket if i could.

Like that's MY baby. A whole cutie patootie.

And also he is SO so handsome i could just watch him just existing for hours.

Gorgeousness🤌

I'm so excited for him to be living out his happy dream gay life. He deserves it so much. Pining for decades and then finally going to confess and then finding out he has found somebody else yet again, just next level of pain. He needs his happy ending. And he better be getting it. I am really looking forward to it.

What i'm not looking forward to is how the multiple love triangles the show has already set up is going to blow up in everyone's faces. It's such an annoying trope. But ANYTHING for a show featuring Nanon and Khao. And for the most parts i am LOVING this show, hopefully i will love it till the end :')

[echoesofadream]

books I've read in 2023 so far, as of July

Den lodande människan - Patrik Svensson: loved it, could not have started my year with a better book. 5/5

Sveket - Birgitta Trotzig: became severely depressed during the three days I read this in (had to read fast for school), seriously affected my wellbeing and mental health and the way I viewed the world. when it ended it felt like waking up from a nightmare, the relief of realizing there is beauty in the world because there was none in this book. ???/5

Watership Down - Richard Adams: read swedish translation. love, just love. I found the Efrafa arc weird and misplaced in this book about rabbits though, very strange. 4/5

Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad: read this after I watched Apocalypse Now because I loved the film, and I think the film made me like the book more. also the first classic I read in a while and I think thats part of why I liked the writing so much. extremely racist even though its supposed to be like, anti colonial commentary? but I suppose it was in its time. 4/5

Annihilation - Jeff Vandermeer: swedish translation. I watched the movie a few years ago and ive been wanting to read this since. and im glad I did because I did like it but idk im sensing a theme here like maybe I shouldn't have read swedish translation instead of original language in some cases. cause I liked this but maybe I wouldve liked it more in english? idk.. like 3.5-4/5 though

Circe - Madeline Miller: I really liked this one. reading this in front of the fireplace, immersing myself in another world. I loved living in the Ancient Greece and greek myths for some time, I really felt I was there. I don’t know how Miller did it but she really conveyed the feeling of immortality, I really felt I was living through centuries alongside Circe and the feelings that come with that. thats why the ending was so perfect. Odysseus was the best part tho. 4.5/5

The River Between - Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o: read up on the topic of FGM in Africa on the side as I was reading this. a very interesting and also gruesome, eye opening experience. what stays with me is the total darkness of the nights, really pierced through my soul. 4/5

Dear Edward - Ann Napolitano: swedish translation. my grandma gave this to me and told me to read it because she read it and wanted to hear what I thought, I never would have read it otherwise. it wasnt really my thing but I do like airplanes and airplane crashes as a plot, so that was the stuff I took away from the story, the rest kind of just went through me. but im kind of happy I read this book just for that reason because that part really affected me. also the conclusion was more touching than the rest of the book, which felt kinda detached. 2.5/5 for the book, 4.5/5 for airplane stuff (my post i make the rules)

1Q84 - Haruki Murakami: swedish translation (ive read all my Murakami books in swedish, since the original language isnt english and also because i like it). some parts I really really loved and were some of my fav elements of any murakami book. but this was not my favorite. overall I liked it, though. actually loved the experience of reading this because i always love reading murakami due to the meditative descriptions of daily chores combined with surrealism, and this one was extra long and repetitive so i loved that. also was interesting cause I looked up the cult events its inspired by so that was interesting too. this one had a bit more surreal/fantasy elements than his other stuff ive read I think? which was nice also. 4/5

If I had your face - Frances Cha: im glad I read it. a good insight into the reality of women in South Korea. not perfect but i feel this book succeeded in what it aimed to be. 3/5

Eileen - Ottessa Moshfegh: swedish translation. i dont really know how to feel about it, really. honestly, I dont even know what to say. this left my head kind of empty, which... may not be a good thing.. could be a poor translation, if i read another of her books ill read in english. 2.5/5

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller: read this hoping to get more Odysseus but there wasnt a lot. Honestly not a huge fan of this book, Circe was so much better. what rlly irked me was Miller sugarcoating some aspects of these war criminals, more specifically the rapes/sex slaves �� yet keeps some things in as if they were essential. More specifically, Patroclus sleeping with that girl i cant remember the name of, for god knows what reason, it was such an unpleasant read and she had to write this so much more explicitly and drawn out than any sex scene between Patroclus and Achilles? That pissed me off and genuinely I felt it was so ugly of Patroclus because that was cheating. If it was meant to be read as asssault thats worse because that woman is literally a rape victim (of Achilles) in the canon. Very distasteful to turn a rape victim into a rapist for fanfiction fantasy. Circe was Miller’s apology to women for writing this book. 3/5

Klara and the Sun - Kazuo Ishiguro: swedish translation. My first Ishiguro. I found the conversations between characters unnatural and unempathetic, the latter especially when aimed at Klara. It is established that Klara has feelings to some degrees and yet is treated as someone who does not, and yet they characters are not supposed to be viewed as unlikeable? This threw me off and also put me off the whole book. But I really liked the character and perspective of Klara, she was my favorite part of this book. I thought it was kind of brilliant to be in Klara’s brain, but felt sorry for her due to her treatment. It frustrated me how much love and care she had for Josie and the others for almost no reason since they were never very kind or caring in turn to her or likable on their own. Her loyalty was almost pitiful, like that of an abused pet or child. The whole replacing Josie thing is so un-human I can’t even fathom these characters aren’t supposed to be viewed as something else than dystopically post-human! (Are they meant to be viewed as that? Unclear) Who could ever replace their child with a robot, an inherently selfish act, they can not possibly believe they would somehow be reviving Josie for anyone else’s sake than their own? Josie would not live on, she would still be dead. So it would be for themselves to play pretend, and it’s completely bizarre. I can’t believe this wasn’t even the moral dilemma. The whole ”something essential that can’t be replaced” is one discussion and it was handled quite weakly, but obviously even if Klara learns all there is about Josie, and is able to ”become” her, the same Josie will not have been born again to experience it. She would be a clone who ACTS like Josie, at most. She would have ”learnt all the rooms of her heart” but she wouldn’t be her, she would only copy. But no one cares about that, only whether Klara can become her clone or not. Including the father who is more critical about it seems to think it would be fine to clone his daughter and act like she is the same one, if it ever would work. could be the translator who sucks? Debating if i should read any more Ishiguro. 2/5

Lucy - Jamaica Kincaid: this is my second Kincaid, I love her writing. love it, gorgeous. she is straight forward, conveys so strongly, vividly. 4.5/5

The colorless Tsukuru Tazaki - Haruki Murakami: swedish translation. you know what, I think anyone complaining about this book should take an extra look at the cover. you’re reading murakami, this is what you get. that said, I do think this is one of his weaker attempts of his tried standard formula, ive seen him do better. I do feel like the prose was a little new, experimental maybe? Which was interesting. also not enough homoerotica. 3/5

[fluffybutt-7]

Hey fluff do you have advice on dating when having a um preferance like this? Im really bad at getting to know new people and im horrid at small talk unless it is something I am interested in. I tried grommr but had the experience of people wanting hook ups and or i would just get cold feet. Im almost 30 now and I realize how short life is and how much i want to at least try out being a feeder/mutal gainer with somebody, but its hard to get somewhere due to being in a bad location and not feeling really connected/ having friends in the gainer/encourgement space. It being kind of "taboo" to most people also kind of stresses me out. How did you get over your fear of being a gainer etc?

Hey there!

Sooo I’ve been trying to think of how to answer this. I think I’ll do it in two parts, one about dating and one in general.

When it comes to dating, I feel that it’s best to just be upfront about it IF it is something you feel safe doing. Wild things can happen, you never really know who you’re talking to when just meeting someone. So there’s a lot of nuance to the “just be upfront about it.” I often wait until I feel there could be a genuine chance with the person to bring it up (assuming they’re not part of the community), and even then I try to be careful with it. People can have all kinds of assumptions about this kink, so I always try to approach it while making the other person feel like they can ask questions about it and genuinely have a conversation about it. Sometimes I’ll kinda tease the idea before that point, it just depends on the vibe I’m getting from the person. But a well placed and ethical feedist comment can sometimes give insight into how the person would feel or possibly already feels about the kink. And honestly? More people are into it or at least open to it than I would expect. Be safe, and be clear in your communication when you feel that it is time to tell them. That’s how I approach it at least, I am certainly not the end-all-be-all and if anyone has something they would like to add, leave a comment so we can all learn how to navigate dating with this fetish/kink better. 🥰

Now - how did I get over my fear of being a gainer? That’s a pretty solid question. The answer I have may not be wholly relatable, but it’s the one that I think will convey my feelings best. I think it’s similar to when I came out as gay. I grew up in a verrry small, verrry conservative Midwest town, and I was the only out gay kid in my high school when I came out. It was fucking terrifying, but for once……. I was me. And holy FUCK I was happy. I felt untouchable, because at last there were no more secrets, no reason to hide. It didn’t matter if someone said shit, because I knew who the fuck I was and I knew I fought for my own happiness. I also knew that the people who really loved and cared for me would have my back, and they did. Well, most of them. But I guess those were the ones who didn’t really care, weren’t they? At the end of the day, we deserve to fight for our own happiness, whatever it is (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else or yourself, etc. I don’t wanna miss the nuance to that statement), and the people in our life who are really our people, the ones who will love us and accept us and celebrate us, will support us (see above parentheses) and have our back.

I also very much understand the struggle of being in a bad location and not feeling connected - I think maybe that’s one of the reasons I made this blog, so that those of us who feel isolated in this community can start to feel like… a community. You can certainly count me as a friend. ☺️ I hope somehow this helped, and I apologize for rambling a bit lmao. Feel free to message anytime! I may not respond right away but I always try to respond to my messages here. Hope you have a good night. :)

[shsl-heck]

Pale Live Read Part 2. Lost for Words

Sorry this took a couple days, I got busy and then sick.

This girl is named Verona. So that's V presumably. Lady with the hidden face is back and not talking for some reason, but Veeona doesn't seem too freaked out. Is she who gave Verona the instructions for the awakening ritual?

Lucy doesn't seem like she'll be a good practitioner. So far in the phone call she's saying things without thinking about the consequences and that's a bad idea in this universe. 

Avery is taking a long time talking to a teacher. Is this a teacher's pet surrogate parental figure deal? Or are we entering teacher's crush territory?

The girls are speculating about if the hidden face lady actually has a horrifying face. My guess is no. I feel like that idea doesn't fit. Like to my mind if an Other has a messed up face that it doesn't show people most of the time, then it's probably going to reveal that face for added dramatic flair right as it claims a victim, or something similar. The ideas tying that kind of Other mean it would probably work better narratively for it to have something like a mask it could rip off to reveal its true face imo, and that matters to the spirits. Like, it's a very well established trope with a lot of flair so I feel like this lady would have been pushed in that direction if the girls were right. It seems to me more like the woman has no face. There's the "faceless" woman in Jacob's Bell but she just lacks facial features, I think this lady's face just straight up doesn't exist, and so, because there's no way to convey that, the spirits contrive to keep her facial area hidden. This was hard to describe and I'm kinda sick so idk how much sense I made while doing it, but based on my knowledge from Pact it's my current thought on this topic that probably doesn't matter very much.

Wow! I hate Verona's dad so much it's unreal. Thank your daughter, asshole! She did the chores he asked, and then he tells her to do more while complaining the cleaning chemicals she used give him a headache.

Oh my fucking God the bra strap comment? This man is not seeing heaven. That Verona is not beating the shit out of him is proof of her restraint. Her leaving the spaghetti out as this petty little thing is amazing too. I'm also a petty person and so I appreciate this representation.

Nevermind, she's thinking badly of  stoners and petty criminals. Also very funny for her to think of other people as idiots without a future when she's about to awaken. Like maybe Pact has biased me but becoming a practitioner does not seem like the best idea if you want to live a long successful happy life.

Okay the most unbelievable part of this so far is that a kid would struggle to get alcohol in a town like this. Ime it is absolutely not hard to get your hands on stuff to drink when you go to a public school in a dead end town. 

Wildbow has introduced a rating app kids are using in the story? This feels like a technomancy thing or some Other fishing for victims. 

It's the teacher crush thing God dammit. Wildbow I swear to all that us holy this better not be a huge plot point.

There are bloody small children in the woods. Are they related to the Carmine Beast? It made the moon bloody and was bleeding everywhere.

Charles is a real one. Like yeah it's kind of fucked up to Awaken a group of middleschoolers! Also he's forsworn but still showed up to a meeting of Others??? That seems like a frankly suicidal idea. 

I'm a big fan of the murder mystery idea but these girls have no idea what they're getting into. Something like that just disappearing almost makes me think of a demon similar to Urr. I doubt that's what it actually is since I don't think Wildbow would jump back into diabolism so early in the story.

Matthew used to be a practitioner it looks like. So he's like Crone Mara or maybe Blake. He seems pretty nice and so I of course distrust him and am guessing he's closer to the Crone Mara end of the spectrum.

The fact that they all made each other's masks, hats, and capes is a cute touch. I do worry that their power might be very fragile though. Doing the ritual not just clothed but in very specific clothes they don't normally wear, plus splitting power between the three? That feels like a recipe for disaster if they're ever forced to practice when taken by surprise. Again, maybe Pact has made me unnecessarily cynical but I don't believe for a second they'll be able to avoid a situation where they are separated and put on the back foot.

Avery's explanation of her mask and why she's doing this is very emotional. Wildbow's managed to make each of the girls' problems resonate in a way lots of media fails to do in general, but especially with characters who are teenage girls. Between this scene, Verona's home life, and the one where Lucy thinks about seeing her mother crying until she noticed she was watching, he's treated their lives and problems with a sense of dignity I really appreciate.

The Hungry Choir is the most suspicious (other than Matthew). The use of the word "choir" is concerning given its connotations with demons and angels. It's something called a ritual incarnate which I don't know much about, but assume is some kind of minor Incarnate defined by very strict rules about how and when it can act. They also didn't seem to bring anything?

Matthew was listed as a host in the notebook chapter which kind of makes sense, but he just said here he trained as a Heartless, so my guess about him being like Mara looks to be correct. He's hosting the darkness from Edith/The Girl By Candlelight, but he also says it was too large and unwieldy for him which seems contradictory. If the goal was just to keep Edith stable would it not make more sense to take her as his Familiar? There's more going on here, and I feel like this relationship is not healthy.

Charles getting forsworn is objectively a very funny way to screw up. Like taking a stand against for profit prisons while drunk then a guy cuts his foot on shattered glass? Incredible.

John and the Choir are candidates for replacing the Carmine Beast apparently. That gives the already suspicious Choir a motive, and they're strong so them getting rid of the Carmine Beast seems possible. It's almost too obvious though.

Also I have to say that having heard the name so much before I started reading I assumed the Carmine Beast would be the main character's patron for a large chunk of the story and that it'd play an almost motherly nurturing role until dying part way through.

John has come dangerously close to harming the girls. I know they said it being on instinct means it might not have broken the deal, but that argument feels flimsy. If one of the girls pressed the issue I'm pretty sure they could've got him forsworn if he'd actually harmed them. 

Avery using connections the way she is (even if it messed up her eye) feels like she's being set up to be an enchantress. 

Miss says the Choir has no motive but that seems naive. It's a ritual incarnate which apparently means someone made with the hope that it would accrue more power than it cost to make. Could it be the weapon instead of the killer? The person who made it might have wanted the Carmine gone to either take the role themself or have the Choir do it.

Verona's dad continues to be awful. Her thoughts on boys are a fascinating insight into how she thinks about the world, and honestly it's kind of relatable. Her wanting to become Other is a little scary, I can think of one example of a protagonist doing that and it uh didn't go well for him. Granted Verona probably plans to have more control over the process, but that's easier said than done.

The girls experimenting with the gifts is delightful but is going to give me hives. Like stop wasting power like that! You're going to need it. Still, their friendship is great and I love the dynamic.

Rip Gabe I guess. I don't have a ton to say about the ritual other than "yeah, that's fucked up." It targeting people with eating disorders, or drug addictions is another layer of awfulness I didn't expect though. We need to get some practitioners on this to figure out the rules and patterns and drain it of power. 

I really enjoyed this first arc! As it went on I found myself making notes less frequently because I just got so sucked into the story that it slipped my mind. The Hungry Choir is horrid even by this universe's standards. My only complaint is that it maybe felt a bit much? Like less grounded somehow than even the war for lordship in Pact or other later arcs where practitioners were really going all out. Granted as an apparently quite powerful Incarnate in its place of power it makes sense it would be able to do this kind of stuff. Also I don't trust any of these Others except maybe the Mare and that's a big maybe. If there’s something I missed or you want more thoughts on just let me know.

[luveline]

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐣𝐚𝐝𝐞 —this one might be silly but I'm always asking you guys for advice so I thought it might be fun to offer the same, ask me a question about love or life or something much less dramatic and I'll tell you what I think

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐣𝐚𝐝𝐞, i may be in the need of the tiniest bit of advice. my boyfriend and i have been dating for close to a year now (10 and a half months to be exact) and we're sort of growing distant. its been happening for a while now and i have been bringing it up once a month these last couple months and he always says he's going to try harder and he does so but it goes back to the way things used to be after a week or so. we're doing long distance and we have a time difference of about 11 hours and its hard but i just want him to put a similar amount of effort that im putting. i dont want to approach the topic again because i'll sound like a broken record but i don't know what to do

hey gorgeous just a disclaimer that you know your life and your relationships better than i do, so I'm not saying you should for sure do whatever i say! but I'm going to kind of tell you what i may do in a similar situation

I think that people grow apart all the time before growing back together, but in the instance of his being your boyfriend, it should be a very high priority to him to make sure he delivers on his promise of trying harder for longer than a week. I'm not sure if you want to be with him your whole life but for me that is the goal of a relationship, and if he's already failing to do so before the one year mark that's not very fair to you in my eyes, because you deserve to have someone who is willing to put in the same amount of effort as you no matter what stage of a relationship you're in.

You can't force someone to do that, though! As you know. This will sound very very harsh but if it were me I would likely bring up the topic of breaking up, not because I think ultimatums are the way to go, but because if he doesn't change and doesn't grow closer to you, as a long distance relationship especially, it isn't going to leave YOU feeling very good or very happy when you deserve to feel good and happy, and I feel you have two options, to grow closer or to grow further apart — but you can't grow closer with him if he isn't trying to.

I'm really sorry to say that though because I can imagine all the heart ache this is causing you!! People aren't perfect and I'm not saying you should definitely go break up with him, but I think maybe that's the fear that if he doesn't change, you don't really have many options (I really hate saying that to you, I feel so scythe and cloak, but what I'm trying to convey is that your happiness is the only thing you can defend in this situation because you can't make him do what you want, you can only control your own actions, and if he isn't going to do better by you, I hope YOU will do better by you, because you deserve the best). And also, if you're afraid to bring something up I (as gently as I can) don't think that's a very good sign, because if he's your partner you should always feel comfortable enough to air out what's bothering you (I'm not saying that's his fault or your fault but a unfortunate matter of circumstances)

And he's your partner so I don't want to continously slam dunk on him or say he's shit because that's not fair, I don't know him, I only know what you've said you're feeling. I recently felt very distant from someone important to me and I know how hard that is, and I also know that my first idea wasn't to just end our relationship and move on, but if you've been asking him repeatedly for months to change and are still experiencing the problem I don't want to encourage you to keep pouring your heart into something that seems so unfair to you. I think that you're doing an amazing job by having already been honest with him, and even your 'being a broken record' is a good thing, communicating how you feel to people I believe is a sign that you love them or care for them, because you're trying very hard to work through the problem rather than get mad without understanding. So keep being honest with him and if that makes you a broken record that's okay, keep trying to work together with him, but don't take the brunt of your relationship on your shoulders either. It's tempting to wonder if you can do better or be better, but you're expending effort right now as you are and you deserve it back the same

I hope this was helpful for you but even if it isn't (which is totally fine and also I'm sorry) I hope you're doing okay! Love is so hard but it's worth it to keep trying, just make sure you're taking care of yourself!♡

[sostrangerous]

Ok, I lied, I'm back, but only because I need to give u compliments.

I have never in my life read a fic that has made me this emotionally distraught. I have read works that have made me relive my grief or maybe make me a little anxious, but never ever have I read something like this. I think the reason why is because, particularly, mark, hits too close to home for a lot of reasons, he reminds me of my sister and me, and his family reminds me of mine. Even if I just think about the story I just feel so hopeless and dreadful because I Know it's not gonna get better lol I think it's one of those 'it gets worse before it gets better' stories and the 'it gets worse' part are gonna be so excruciating.

You are very skilled at writing emotionally constipated characters, also, I'm gonna piggy back off that person that said that the story was easy to read because I think that one of the biggest reasons why is because the vocabulary that you use is precise, understandable, and it gets the point across very quickly with as little fanfare as possible and even when you do jazz it up its very natural and it never feels out of place. The way that you use metaphors, internal monologs, and other literary devices is also very good, obviously, I think that if your use of them was bad then the story wouldn't have as much of an impact as it does.

Also, your characterizations of mark, jaemin, jeno, haechan, and renjun don't feel too out of left field, at least for me. I can see how, in another universe, they could've been this way.

This is such a good story, and I've been telling my sister about it, and she agrees. I remember when chapter 16 was posted, and mark had said, "dont make me think about tomorrow... don't make me think about anything at all. " she said that that is exactly what she felt like when she was going through the worst of it with her ocd.

I hope you take everything I wrote as a compliment because I really do mean it. no story has ever made me want to organize my thoughts into something concise and have the courage to tell the person. You are a marvelous writer, and I hope that writing brings you joy and refuge from whatever your troubles might be because even though as much as much as your writing hurts its comforting to know that there's people out there that think and feel in ways that I thought were just me. Thank you, I hope you have a day or night and be safe.

Also fuck Cameron.

thank you so much for this, i feel like nothing i say will be enough to convey how honored i am by comments like this. seriously, to hear that my work has a profound impact makes me incredibly happy, im so so so happy you like my writing :')

i will make a certified authorial guarantee that mark is making it out of here, no matter what. i would not abandon him to misery. it feels a thousand times heavier for him when hes home, but freedom is there waiting for him. his friends love him too much!!!!

also, thank you so much, im overjoyed to hear my prose is good. i geuinely think ive gotten much more skilled at writing by working on this fic. i purposefully try to pare down my prose to get rid of repetition and saying the obvious too loudly, so im definitely aiming for 'little fanfare' in my writing BUT ALSO im glad you like my metaphors :))))) im so happy to hear they feel natural and fit the rest of the prose.

again tysm for this ask, i owe u my life forever. please keep loving this fic as much as i love writing it <3333

[arsenalgbt]

hello! this is an appreciation message for you. long story short, i started to read your writing on ao3 in 2016, i remember at that time i couldn’t find any caninho fic then i found yours! let me tell you what i’m gonna be to this probably will be always one of my favourite fics ever. and i love your terfinha and hendollana too!

at that time, i was in a bad place mentally and your fics were something i was looking forward to, it was my comfort place.

after world cup this year, i’ve started to read football fics again and the other day i saw your ben/willo then i started getting nostalgic when i read your username.

in one way or another, you saved my life. so i just want to say thank you! i’ve grown up and i’m in a much better place right now. i hope you have a good day ahead. and thank you again. 🤍

I would like to apologise and thank you, because best believe when I first got this in my inbox (back in February? march?) you made my day. honestly I wasn't sure how can I convey my feelings of being so honoured by this uplifting and kind message 😭 like I'm hella proud of what my writing could be of somewhat an aid for you back then, but also so happy and grateful because you took your time to write to me (and in a much better place to boot! like!)

you, my dear anon, will definitely stay with me forever in the form of screenshot!!! I made a post a couple of weeks ago stating how unsure I was to reply but today, with me abandoning my jacket for the first time, I didn't want to keep you waiting and wondering. thank you. seriously thank you so much. sorry I have nothing to offer you but quotes from Tumblr dot com:

ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not

there is no unlived life or alternative reality where everything went right…. there is only here and now what are you going to do with it 

anne carson wrote beautifully about this: “i’m not saying move back towards life, i’m saying the future isn’t elsewhere. we’re locked in a spaceship, h of h, we have nothing but continuing.”

“do it for the vine” = allow yourself to live life in the moment instead of maintaining a facade of normalcy for the enjoyment of not only yourself but of those around you

“commit to the bit” = adhere to the guidelines of an event that will in retrospect be nothing but a minuscule footnote, but continue to execute it for the complex web of happiness it brings you and your collective now

“fuck it we ball” = get the most you can out of life by putting the very thrill of being alive first and everyday occurrences and responsibilities last

lastly; I just re-read my old Liverpool fics and wow I just can't believe I've been writing for so, so long. sorry for the unbeta'd everything, sometimes the cringy storyline (I was young............ LOL).

LISTEN I HOPE YOU READ THIS. I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY OF YOUR OWN TERMS! thank you for being here!

[vamossainz55]

how do you get started to tumblr and writing? ps. i reallyyy love ur work <33

hi darling, tysm im glad you like my work, ty ty 🥹 !

tbh im no expert on starting on tumblr hehe. i started almost a year ago (aug ‘22) and tbh i started just bc i got an itch to write again and specifically for f1 and i knew the community existed so i just tried it out really !

ive been very lucky to have made mutuals w some really sweet people and tbh its all about reaching out and interacting ! i loved reading other ppls works and appreciating them (reblogs, tags, comments). its a perfect way to make connections. also i would say to not be shy and to reach out to the accounts you like (it helps if you wanna talk about a common interest, their posts, etc to ease into it) ! everybody ive talked to so far even if its in passing is so sweet. my dms are also always open if anybody wants to start a chat <3

as for writing ive been writing on and off since middle school, but ive always loved language and literature class. i would say a good way to start writing is to first read what you enjoy and the writers you enjoy. once you have kind of a grasp i would say to always just start giving it a go ! there are so many prompts available on tumblr as well as accounts giving writing tips. two accounts i can recommend are @corvase (for prompts and tips) or @novelbear (for prompts) !

for more technical-ish tips i sometimes search up words in the thesaurus, google way things are described, to get a better grasp as to what i want to say and how i want to say it. i also write differently depending on what i want to say/convey.

writing takes time and this includes your style, the way you express yourself, so don’t limit yourself (also your writing at first might not be the same as you envision it but its okay! you slowly get there).

sometimes, writing is also about patience, i have so many times taken countless of hours to write things to finally get it to where i want (and sometimes i dont get there at all).

at the end of the day writing should also be for your own enjoyment so take your time and write what makes you happy <3

idk if these tips are the best, but i do hope they help at least a bit, as always my dms are always open for a chat 🥹

[radical-sainthood]

Quite alright, I was busy yesterday myself. And by busy I mean prancing about in ears and a tail because it was Halloween and I could. I probably won't be able to do that until the convention this January so I had to! Also watching all the analog horror content that dropped yesterday. There's... still so much to go through.

Well, anyway! Best I have at the moment to help is reinforcing that I also don't think anything is wrong with his body, no matter what it was made or used for in the past. (Same for yall collectively ofc.) You may relay that message if you wish/are able too. He doesn't need to talk to me if he doesn't want, either. Just. Throwing it out there.

I personally still need to get better at the caring act. I do genuinly want to help others, but irl I can come off as real deadpan and thats... not the most comforting. Thats why I find it easier to type, especially with tone tags, so I can convey what I actually want to. I do experience emotions myself, but it's very hard to convey them outwardly in a phsyical sense at times. With writing, there's so much more to make it more clear. Punctuation, tone tags, emojis, you get it.

And!!!! Augh I'm glad you liked reading it and hearing about all that. Like I said, I've never gone that in depth before so I was nervous. But yea!! Learning and trying to heal together, and mutually being beneficial for each others complexes (I don't think his god complex is undo-able, but thats okay since you can have one and still be happy and functional, so Im not entirely concerned about it staying.) Honestly, its funny in a way. He and I are very different from eachother, and yet here we are. I especially thought he'd permanently hate me, given I'm a mad scientist of sorts, but!!! No!!! And I just fgdksafhcvhdfksagfdhfbcdhfg. Weh. >_<

Anyway, I will now be shifting into somewhat heavier topics. (programming again.) If you're not in a mind to read it: SKIP THE RED TEXT. (No hard feelings if you're not, its less questions this time and more of an update on my discoveries, partially submitted as well for the other anons going through similar.)

So, I've discovered that I can use the annoying dizziness as a bit of a geiger counter for answers in some cases. For example: wondering if we're only one part of the system, or maybe a subsystem dedicated to the front = get dizzy, meaning I shouldn't think about that, meaning there likley is or was meant to be and I'm not supposed to be able to think about it, but since nothing was ever completed I can override that failsafe. Or: Thinking about different programs and how they could be used on others = no dizzy, meaning I was potentially meant to be a handler as well as a general servator (current descriptor Im using.) Those are just some examples, but it's been helpful and maybe others can use this method. (PLEASE BE CAREFUL, YOU MAY TRIGGER DANGEROUS FAILSAFES.)

I've also figured out more things about sleep: We stopped taking naps when the body was one year old, which is... not normal for humans. We regained the ability to do so around age twenty, but not without feeling guilty if I haven't "Done Enough" first. So it would seem those are used as some form of reward system.

End of red text.

I also feel like this is writting letters to a friend kinda!!! Your letter did find us well, and I hope mine finds you the same.

-🦌👁

Good evening watching deer anon. Your letter found us quite well, it is always a joyous day when a friend hears word from another!

Now, I cannot speak on what you and Cas have discussed in regards to your partner and your relationship, but I nevertheless assure you that we found it very endearing.

As for Kevin/The Deep. I will pass on the sentiment, it will mean a great deal to him and us.

As for what is in the red text. Let me say that your gieger counter is likely very accurate. I have been a member of this system for nearly 15 years, and I can personally tell you that I have installed similar fail safes into our system. Any time the beloved members of this system get too close to information I prefer left better alone it triggers an intense dizziness, followed by nausea followed by disassociation. And if that isn't enough, a seizure.

I recommend treading carefully in these areas, as you may never know what sort of symptoms your body is capable of triggering.

I'm sure you would have made an astute handler, and I hope, if that is ever your interest you are able to be one. You'd be surprised what it takes to break the human mind.

And absolutely you can be completely functional with many complexes. The ears and tail sounds nice, I'm glad you got a moment of authenticity in a world meant to choke those who are of a unusual breed.

All the best, your friends at the Liminal Churchyard

[jessica-carbajal-art-blog]

virtual sketchbook 2

2) Vincent Van Gogh, OLD MAN WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HEAD- it has shading, he also added a group of parallel lines. he also added linear perspective, tone, emphasis and subordination, repetition, line work.

3) Personally I’ve always been inspired by colors ever since I was a little kid. I would always like to color and draw pictures. I wasn’t the best artist I love to do it. I especially loved all the colors that came in a crayon box. Color has affected me personally in many ways. For instance certain colors make me feel happy while others don’t. I love the color pink. Any type of pink I love and they make me feel like myself in a way. If I were to described myself I would be the color pink. Especially the darker intensity of pink. I also love sunsets they make me feel warm and comfy. I feel like if the sunset had no color then life would be depressing and sad. For example like the darker colors on the hue wheel. Sometimes when I wear black clothes I feel like sad bc of the saturation that that color has. Some colors don’t look completely black but they’re like very dark. Color has many value in my life more vibrant colors are something I tend to lean towards. Even though I love pink if I had to pick a color scheme it would definitely be greens. I feel like I look better in greens and there beautiful colors. 

4) - I'm a sushi chef at my job so I love making it. I love my family so that's a deep meaning to me. lastly im passionate about becoming a nurse.

5)

Group 6 photography

black & white:

colored: 

There's many different reasons why a photographer would choose whether or not they are going to take a photo using black & white or with color. Though I believe that what motives the choice of black & white vs. color has to be the message that the photographer wants to convey. I believe the choice they make is effective because it influences the way I feel. for instance when I look at the black and white photo of the tree I get a sad vibe/mood coming from it because to me the tree is symbolizing death and dying. When I look at the colored picture I don't have the feeling of death because to me I feel happy. I feel happy when looking at the colored picture because even though the Tree is dead it's all part of the circle of life. new life will be created and the cycle of life will continue.