#IM SO TIRED OF BUILDING THE SAME PLANE OVER AND OVER AGAIN

[gracewritesthings]

FUCK THESE GODDAMN LIGHTROOTS HOW IS THERE STILL MORE

[thequietkid-moonie]

Yandere Brand new animal characters (of your choosing) who are in love with a human reader who is at the peak human threshold of what a human can do

Who is also often times hired by Anti-beastmen organizations to hunt and take down beastmen for money.

(I’ll also leave it up for you to decide if you want to make them hate beastmen or not too as well)

Stronge and smart darling works for a anti-beastmen organization to help

[ YANDERE HEADCANONS ] [ Shirou Ogami ]

[ Brand New Animal ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment

Now that i finally decided to write this request (that has being on my ask box for so long, sorry about that) i decided to watch Brand New Animal again, so thank you 🤭

Also, im SO sorry I swear but between the writers block and the depresive state I just managed to write one character

sorrysorrysorry 🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻 sorrysorrysorry

Ogami despises all human kind, he hates them with all his being for what they have done to the beastmen, and just like that he absolutely hate any beastmen that dares to work with the humans to go against the other beastmen, thats why since the first moment even just Ogami persived your human scent on some of the most recent beastmen that came to Anima City to search for shelter he can feel his blood boild on his veins

Despite being angry and don't have mercy when it comes to human kind he lets the beastmen take the time to explain themselfs (only if they weren't doing anything suspicious or being a obvious threaten), and the story is always the same a really stronge human that either offer them their help or end up chaising them when trying to reach Anima City, a human that despite openly being part of an organization anti-beastmen and despite chaising them the human end up guiding them in the safest way towards the the frontier to Anima City

No matter how much times he heard the same story Ogami just can't believe it and he refuse to do so, he is just too anger with the human kind that the idea of a human willing to help beastmen in any way is nothing but a joke, specially someone that works for a anti-beastmen organization

Is probably that he even end up even asking the mayor about it once he gets tired of hearing the same story over and over again and still feeling confused about this whole situation, there are chances that the mayor actually knows about you and what you have being doing to help because she has to know what happened around the beastmen to be able to protect them and Anima City, but even when the mayor confirm that you actually want to help he just feels more frustrated and even mad at you for it

Ogami is completely blinded by his frustration and anger to even understand what it is going on his mind, he have hated human kind for all his life that now that there is the smallest posibility of a human actually helping and looking after the beastmen is so unreal and yet the more he heard the story the more hope builds inside of him, what he hates and that is actually making him feel frustrated and angry, as well the fact that the more he can persive your scent the more used to it he become and even start to crave it just make him hate the whole situation even more

It can take a lot of time before Ogami reaches his limit where he can just handle it anymore and set off on his journey to now be him the one chaising you, now constantly wandering around the frontier with the human city, taking advantage of his sharp habilities to be able to quickly track your steps

It doesn't really take much time before he finally gets to met you and even when he was planing on get answer out of you (even when his mind is so clouded that he can't think right) the moment he finally met you is like if all the thoughts that have being troubling his mind just clear and let his true feelings come out, he probably just end up fighting against you but is in that fight that he end up realicing that what he wanted the most is to meet to, to demostrate himself that you are actually real

When he finally realices that all those stories are true and that you are actually fighting to help the beastmen, using you amazing strength and habilities to help his kind he gets even more confused, but this time because now his mind is more clear now and he can identify that strange feeling growing inside of him, that feeling that makes him want to persive more of your scent, to want to see you again and even have you close, he doesn't understand why it is he feeling that way (specially towards a human) but at this point he can't just ignore those feelings anymore, the problem comes whit that he doesn't understand what to do now

[jqmalikhsgib]

astrology

one

in most stories being the youngest kid means being the sheltered child. everyone would see the baby of the family being favored more than the eldest or middle child. for you, it wasn’t ever like that.

you grew up in an classic middle class family. your mother was a prosecutor and your father was a detective. your older brother followed in his fathers footsteps. he went to college, worked his ass off, and became an officer.

and your sister became a lawyer just like your mom. she was damn good at it too.

you on the other hand, you had different dreams. you never wanted to be cooped up in a bubble. your dreams were to travel the world, draw the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen, meet new people, discover yourself.

when you graduated high school you saved up enough money over the years to do so. you took different jobs just to pay bills and continue to move along.

your parents never thought it was a great idea. they’d always scold you to go to college. they’d get your siblings along in it but it just never worked. you loved your free spirited life style.

you visited your family every once in a while. but after ten years of being free, ten years of constantly hearing the same things over and over, ten years of nonstop get bugged over when you’re gonna grow up and turn your life around, you were tired.

you stopped going to every christmas, every thanksgiving, every birthday, any holiday. you’d come up with some excuse. telling your family you had a shift at whatever job you had.

truth was, you needed to be away. your family back home may not have understood. besides your best friend, you didn’t really keep in contact with anyone.

spencer was the only one who stood beside you. he knew that you had other dreams and aspirations. he never judged you for drifting off and exploring the world. he was the one to encourage you.

“yn, remember what you told me when i had a hard time deciding to skip a few grades? you said that if i didn’t, id always wonder. you told me im too smart to be in seventh grade and i needed to get off my ass and go show those high school idiots how smart i truly am. you’re an amazing artist, yn! i know you can make a name for yourself.”

that was the only thing you needed to hear before you packed your bags, bought a plane ticket, and began your journey. you never regret your decision.

it’s why you’re so glad to be in virginia. getting to see spencer again made you happy. you haven’t seen your best friends since he made it into the behavioral analysis program. you knew spencer was beyond smart. knowing that he was working with the smartest people, fighting crime, and kicking ass, made you proud.

you smile at the guard up front. “hi, im here to see doctor spencer reid.”

the guard asked for a form of identification before smiling and giving you a visitors badge. spencer made sure to let them know you’d be coming by.

when you finally got to his floor your eyes widened with how big it truly was. you never thought you’d ever be here. standing in front of a team full of people who study human behavior.

“yn!?” spencer runs to his friend.

“woah, slow down there pretty boy.”

you opens your arms wide as spencer lifts you up and spins you around. you giggled before he sets you down.

“hi, genius!”

“god, i miss you.”

“miss you too bud. this place is incredible, spence. how do you guys get any work around here done. i wouldn’t know how to sit still.”

spencer just shrugs as he walks the two of you over to his desk. you spot two individuals.

one of them was a woman. she was beautiful. her dark locks were slowly fading to grey, but she definitely rocked it.

the other was a tall, muscular build man. he had a cocky smirk on his face. he was definitely handsome. you can tell he’s a bit of a player but ultimately a sweetheart.

“well pretty boy, you gonna introduce us?”

spencer smiles. “guys, this is my best friend since diapers, yn! yn thats emily and derek.”

you gently waved.

“hi. it’s nice to finally meet you. spencer talks bout you guys all the time. im glad he has someone else to bug besides me.” you playfully hit his arm.

“you must be someone special. reid doesn’t hug anyone. says—”

“it’s safer to kiss? he’s been saying that since we were children. i think he came up with that when he had a crush on our next door neighbor, dawn.”

“hey! it’s an actual fact!” spencer defends.

you playfully roll your eyes. “when are you off, butthead? i wanna look at places while im here.”

“im off this weekend.”

“you’re moving down here?!”

“yeah. spencer constantly tells me how great this place is. it’s gotta be better than nevada if it’s got spencer’s vote of approval.”

“it is a great state. you’ll love it. if you need help finding something im sure i could be of service.”derek flirts.

“thanks. i should probably let you all get back to work. ill—”

“we have a case!” you get interrupted. you slowly lift your head and your heart skips a beat.

he stares at you with a scowl on his face. you assumed it was a permanent one. he was tall, had a beautiful head of hair, his face was clean shaven, his suit was definitely dry cleaned. he looked like a man you’d see in a fairytale. like how you’d imagine prince eric from the little mermaid to look. he was breathtaking.

“i’ll probably be gone for a few days. will you be okays exploring the city without me?” spencer breaks you out of your trance.

“um—yeah. just be safe. and call me!”

spencer smiles as he squeezes your arm before walking away. you give your heart a second to go back to normal speed.

you think you’re gonna love it here.

so, yes it’s an age gap between them. listen, im not gonna be like some people and say i have a huge problem with age gaps, because i do not!

yes, at times it can be gross. when someone is freshly eighteen and dating someone in their mid to late twenties or older, it’s gross

if someone knew the person when they were a child and begin dating them. even if they’re in their twenties, it’s gross

but as someone who’s 25 and has only dated men older since i was like 22, i don’t see much of a problem as long as they were two consenting adults.

that being said, read it if you want and if you don’t, scroll past it.

reader is 28

aaron is 44

[succubus-interactivefiction]

Oops, I did it again

or rather my crazy sleep schedule and a sheer number of cups of coffee meant I didn't get much sleep last night, especially after this idea popped into my head and refused to leave until I jotted it down. So here's yet another Witching Hour Story Idea, yes that's what I call these weird story plots that slip into my mind. Anywhoooo, below the cut...Gods Im tired

Hellfire

Ten years ago the world as you knew it ended. It has come to be known as The Scouring, wherein a twenty four hour period, as the dawn swept across the face of the world, people simply vanished leaving no trace behind. In a single day ninety percent of the world's population had disappeared. Those who had advanced warning tried to outrun the morning light, world leaders took to the skies chasing the night in the hope that as long as they outran the day they would survive, there are tales of some planes and their crews who are still chasing that thin line in the belief that they can stay safe.

For the rest of the world however, life quickly devolved into a mad scramble for survival as survivors turned on one another in an effort to secure whatever remained of the world, that first year saw an even greater decrease in the remaining population. However those survivors did not have the peace of simply vanishing, no they died in brutal, bloody fights for survival. You are one of those who survived that bloody time.

Five years ago the world seemed to have come to some sense of equilibrium as something resembling society was carved from the ruins by warlords and peacekeepers across the globe, but whatever fragile peace the world had settled into was again destroyed when the veil fell. Across the world random survivors suddenly found themselves mutating traits many religions attributed to other worldly beings, in essence, over night, demons and angels became manifest.

The world was again thrown into turmoil as cults and fanatics rose to worship those who have, what they believe, is divine blood. It is only in the last year that things have finally settled into a new state of semi balance.

But for you, one of the Cambion, the simple life you have managed to scrape out of the apocalypse will be torn apart because of a simple reunion with someone you have long thought dead. You will now have to decide the fate of hundreds of thousands of lives along the west coast of North America as you become the central focus of a continent spanning conflict that has the potential to, once again, throw the world into turmoil.

Features

Play as a Cis or Trans woman, with full customization over your physical appearance.

Customize your daemonic appearance with options that allow you to seem almost human, or simply embrace your daemonic essence and make yourself a walking war machine. Be warned however that not everyone responds well to such beings.

Play with literal hellfire as you wield unholy abilities on the field of battle, or use your minor reality warping abilities to ensure that cute dress fits your towering daemonic frame.

Manage your new fortress city of Portland after ripping it from the claws of a former employer to save an old flame and try to make life better for the humans living under your rule.

Befriend and/or romance your former girlfriend whom you thought died in The Scouring, a Nephilim fanatic who needs to learn to not judge a book by its cover, or both at the same time in a polyamorous triad.

Wage war against a fanatical cult led by a pair of Nephilim twins hell bent on recreating the world in their own image.

Romance Options

Misty May | Human | Your Former Girlfriend Age: 27 Height: 5’7” Build: Athletic Eye Color: Hazel Hair Color: Black Skin Tone: Coffee Notable Features: Multiple scars from struggling to survive the last ten years Character Traits: Quiet, Easily startled, Secretive Tropes: Trauma, First Love, Return From The Dead, Second Chances

Your first girlfriend, you assumed Misty had died during The Scouring while she was on the east coast visiting family. This is a belief you have held to in the ten years since the apocalypse. The two of you had been inseparable from the first moment she shoved a bully away from you in the first grade, that was Misty, always standing up for others and putting herself in harm's way if it meant someone else would be spared pain. You remember her near constant smile and quick wit with fondness and despite everything that has happened in the past ten years just the memory of her helps you go on.

Arial | Nephilim | The Stubborn Nephilim Age: 22 Height: 6’3” Build: Voluptuous Eye Color: Gold Hair Color: Silver Skin Tone: Olive Notable Features: Four large angelic wings, glowing eyes Character Traits: Stubborn, Dense, Loving Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Love, Coming Out

One of the humans who became a Nephilim, Arial was seventeen when her change occurred to the shock of her parents and the small community they had joined. Of the hundred members of the town only one other person changed, a seven year old boy manifested Cambion traits and these two distinct changes sent shockwaves through the people and seemed to send most of them into some form of madness. While Arial was uplifted and worshiped the young boy was locked away, beaten, tortured, and to Arial’s horror one morning he was sacrificed in front of her as the townsfolk believed she was an avatar of God. Arial ran away the next day but was soon found by a cult led by two Nephilim twins. Taking her in they manipulated her, twisting her mind to their belief system and eventually sent her out on her own to hunt Cambion, she was captured and imprisoned almost immediately. This is where you find her, locked away in a cell in the Portland fortress city.

Others

Gabriella | Nephilim | Cult Leader

The insane leader of a militant cult spreading from Salt Lake City, Gabriella, along with her demented brother Michael, believe that it is their divine duty to rid the world of all Cambion as well as any Nephilim who will not bend the knee. Unlike her brother, Gabriella at first seems to have full control of her faculties, but her frequent lapses into inane and uncontrolled giggling seem to suggest otherwise.

Michael | Nephilim | Cult General

The de facto General of the cult's growing army, Michael spends more of his time engaging in incestuous relations with his sister than actually leading troops on the field of battle. Being just as insane as his sister, if not even more unstable, he believes that no one can defeat him in combat. His explosive outbursts when someone proves better than him at anything are well known among the cult.

Rubidor | Cambion | Your Aide-de-camp

Someone you could consider a friend, if you use the bare minimum of the meaning, Rubidor was your point of contact for jobs when passing through the area, that was before your unintended coup however. Now he is the only one you trust to see your orders are relayed to their respective recipients and even more importantly obeyed.

Lohi | Human | Rebel Leader

Lohi had spent four years building up his rebel group in the fortress city of Portland before you simply swept in and cut the head off the former ruler, taking his place as leader. All his plans have been disrupted because of this, but he is undeterred and is adamant that humanity will be free of the daemonic scourge that enslaves them.

Marky | Human | Insane Seeress

One of the few truly free humans living in Portland, Marky is nearly blind and each vision brings her closer to nevering being able to see light again. Despite this she remains relatively upbeat and is more than willing to lend her abilities to someone she considers worthy of her visions. Of course she did consider the former ruler of Portland worthy, so her definition may differ from most others.

Gram | Daemon | Your Multi-Great Grandmother

The only true daemon currently roaming the surface of the planet. Loves life in all its forms, but will burn it all to ash for her only grandchild. Bakes cupcakes in her spare time.

[freebooter4ever]

Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^

[causenessus]

hi loveliness! (i’m calling you that now because it suits you) HOW ARE U?? good evening afternoon or morning! i hope you’ve been well and i hope you’ve eaten! tomorrow i’m driving back home and it’ll take like two days so my next checkup might be really early or really late (SORRY IN ADVANCE !!) but today i’m going to a concert so ill probably be back home really late and be tired asf LOL but im so excited for it !! i can’t wait to tell you about it tomorrow

IM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EATING !! it makes me feel happy that i actually have an impact on your life ! ik some days get busy and long but it’s always good to eat and take care of yourself, heal the body and mind!! BAGELS ARE GOOD BUT MAKE SURE YOURE EATING ACTUAL MEALS! which i’m kind of a hypocrite because last night i had instant noodles for “dinner” kind of BUT BUT I HAD LIKE A BIG LATE LUNCH WITH MY FAMILY SO IT DOESNT COUNT !! i would consider that a snack even LOL but youuu! you! (points) make sure you eat actual meals love !! sorry this just reminds me of a story but i remember like one time i was late for school so i skipped breakfast but during class my stomach was like RUMBLING AND I WAS SO EMBARRASSED BECAUSE LIKE the teacher would be yap yap yapping and then suddenly you hear the most preposterous god awful sound (my stomach) and i had to pretend i didn’t wanna die right then and there LOL so definitely definitely eat or you’ll suffer the same fate as me </3(threateningly)(with love)(always with love)

PLS MY EARLY SHIFTS AND WEIRD DOUBLE SHIFTS ARE SO TERRIBLY FUNNY LOL but omg what do you do for work if you don’t mind me asking like do you build frames because THATS SO COOL women in stem moment LOL but omg i hope your finger is okay?? WHY IS SOMETHING HECTIC ALWAYS HAPPENING AT YOUR JOB this is like a total sitcom office type job scenarios right here but but omg omg mango anon on a plane?? flying over to ness?? mango anon and ness meetup?? (I WISH I COULD INSERT PHOTOS BUT WE WOULD BE LIKE THAT ONE MEME THATS LIKE the vibes me and gang bring to the function) no but literally i would definitely just trail around you at work like a dog like i would 100% have no idea what’s going on but i would just smile and nod and be happy just to be there LOL

YOU KNOW WHAT TECH DAYS IS REAL LIKE I WAS ALSO PART OF TECH LOL but i wasn’t like THAT type of tech in the crew i was the sounds person so id be more more background but omg soulmates? twin flames? tech crew gang??? i kinda miss tech days even though it was kind of toxic LOL like i remember my teacher was like ok practice with the cast goes until 6:30 but she kept us until like 8 like IS THAG EVEN LEGAL?? who knows though my high school was definitely not… not it (if you know what i mean)

THE LORE DROP IS CRAZY?? i get what you mean by the attachment issue thing because I GET IT I GET IT but like you’re such a likeable person like IDK YOURE JUST SO SWEET AND GENUINE ITS HARD NOT TO LIKE YOU(sorry if that sounds weird but to me it’s like)(i expect a LOT of people to like you because you radiate good energy and you’re always so sweet) BUT I GET IT AND PLS THE ICK FROM THE ATTACHMENT ISSUES?? i 100% get it because when i notice myself being too attached to someone im like okayyyyy okay mango anon back it up here back it uppp LOL because like i don’t wanna be so reliant on someone else so i always have to remind myself to chill a bit, BUT ID LOVE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR WORK AND DRAMATIC LOVE LIFE LIKE I LIVE FOR THE ROMCOMS!!

i hope tonight is a better night for you !! i hope it isn’t sucky again because you deserve the best :( I LOVE YOU TOO NESS SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO PUT THIS PART BUT I <3 NESS thank u for always taking the time to answer these long long asks LOL but i really enjoy talking to you !! make sure you eat and take care of yourself and have a good day!! xoxoxo

AAAAAA PLEASE I AM CRYING OVER THE NAME /POS THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 i am okay!!! very brain dead and just peroifbbjk but it's okay!! and aa definitely do not worry about missing a few check ins but thank you for telling me so i don't get too sad and miss u without knowing what's going on </33 be safe driving back AND I HOPE YOUR CONCERT GOES WELL AND YOU HAVE LOTS OF FUN!!

BUT AAA thank you thank you </3 unfortunately i literally survived on almond butter bagels today but it was NOT my fault. like today was just not good lmaoaoao i ate breakfast and then drove home to eat lunch (first almond butter bagel) between classes and then had to go to work (i bought a random california roll or something on the way there that ig counts as well!!) but i literally got home at 10 pm and just could not be bothered to cook 😭😭😭 i've just been working this entire week and i work this weekend too so i'm just trying to get by!!!! i will take care of myself though BUT PLEASE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED YOUR TEACHER YAPPING AND THEN THE PREPOSTEROUS SOUND 😭😭😭 I LAUGHED SO HARD it reminds me of this one time i was forced (idk how else to explain this but just trust me i had to??? LMAO) to eat carrots in my french class....BUT CARROTS ARE SO LOUD BRO I LITERALLY WANTED TO KMS EVERYTIME I BIT INTO THE CARROT LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT OMG BRO IT WAS A SILENT CLASSROOM AND THEN THERE'S ME CRYING EATING CARROTS LIKE A LITERAL RABBIT

but anway. AAA YES!! WOMEN IN STEM!! yes i build frames sometimes or we get them sent to my work and then i will actually frame things and cut glass and just put that all together it's very fun!! i've framed things like a real cool pixies poster, cool art, confiscated prison shanks, someone tried to get us to frame black coral (which it is highly illegal to be in possession of) so yk!!! maybe it's just a curse at my workplace!! i have NO idea wtf is wrong with my workplace but we could DEFINITELY BE A SITCOM SHOW LMAOO AND AAA OMG YES NESS AND MANGO ANON MEETUP!!! I WOULD LITERALLY CRY /POS AND JUMP WITH JOY PLEASE AND LITERALLY OMG YOU DID TECH TOO??????? AND YOU WERE SODIFIUHWLJBEKJRFLEPRIO;GWENK (you were sound except i keyboard smashed halfway through)

MANGO ANON. WE WERE MEANT TO BE. LITERAL SOULMATES I TELL YOU!!!! BC I MEAN IG IDK HOW OTHER DEPARTMENTS ARE BUT LIKE I FEEL LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAVE A LIGHT KID - SOUND KID DUO YK?????? AND THAT'S YOU AND ME AAAA THAT'S LITERALLY SO COOL THOUGH I ADMIRE SOUND PEOPLE SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S JUST TOO MANY CABLES AND THINGS FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF I NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT 😭😭 but yes it is also such a toxic and dramatic environment like ALL the time okay another lore drop my junior year i was literally fighting for my life because basically i had just been passed the torch down from our goddess light board op senior (so i was now in charge of everything regarding lights and basically the light board op) BUT this sophomore with a superiority complex also wanted the job and would literally fight me for it like he DEMANDED to be head of lights once for this student directed play and he had been asked to do the show before me so he got first pick and i was like "i mean okay chill idrc" but the bad thing is he just did not know what he was doing 😭 and i tried to be nice and be like "hey. we can split the job. if you want to be board op for the play and musical that's chill. i'll do it for the other play." AND IDK WHY I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT HATED HIM AND LIKE I TOLD MY TECH DIRECTOR THE PLAN AND HE WAS LIKE "HELL NO I AM NOT LETTING THAT KID OPERATE THE BOARD YOU'RE DOING THAT" so i ended up being board op...the entire year which i don't feel bad about!! but that was like the biggest drama moment of my life and i'm still not over it i am typing in passionate rage rn can u tell /hj

BUT AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT YOU'RE SO SWEET!! i always attract weird men unfortunately...i will spill this all to u mango anon do not worry your pretty head <3 maybe we'll start with skater boy tm (imagine i subscripted that i'm too lazy rn) or the boy who thought i liked him and asked me to homecoming....BUT YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEET AND CARING TOO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY AS WELL!!! and honestly lots of people suck </3 so if they DON'T love you?? well that's an easy fix i'll just beat the life out of them <3 (said with love. for u. not those people. i promise i'm nice!!!)

AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SENDING THESE LONG ASKS!! AND READING MY EVEN LONGER ANSWERS <3 tonight was okay!!! i hope you had a good day <3 and talking to you has DEFINITELY made it better so thank you and i love you so much as always mango anon <3 PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! AND EAT AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND I HOPE YOU DON'T FEEL TOO SICK AS YOU DRIVE BACK HOME!!

[pixiecaps]

im gonna just start rambling

we can assume its federation related because of the all caps books so likely written by cucurucho but the building itself doesn’t have the same stylistic choice of federation building it wasn’t fully white and it actually had nature inside with a tree in the middle. it did have white quartz pillars which might be another hint at the building being slightly fed related but besides that everything seemed empty? and it was a pretty spacious room too. idk why but the tree in the middle is such an interesting choice to me.

and then she walks further in and theres the wheel. and after she spins it she FALLS FROM THE FLOOR inside the ocean below. so was the building in the air or was she teleported into the air after she spun the wheel? honestly i cannot tell it is 1am and im tired. but what detail i find interesting is the rain. its very purposefully raining. which as we know isn’t a common occurrence on the regular island. and the damn black concrete scattered all around. referencing back to the black concrete at tubbo, slime, and roiers bases found that same day. so a hint of it all being connected but she had like a whole trail of it all over that biome she was in. i can’t tell if it IS A TRAIL or its like meant to represent something corrupting the island. but again as we know black as a color represents the code entity group. so its just interesting to see that scattered around near the books in chests likely written by cucurucho. but idk.

the original building itself seems interesting to me because it doesn’t seem to look like its meant to represent anything directly like it doesn’t have the appearance of a prison like the other place the new players were in. this was distinctly built to look kinda empty but to me it didn’t look abandoned there weren’t any cowebs or broken steps or anything that screamed its been empty for years and started eroding through time. it just appeared empty but in a way where it was still relatively well kept.

its curious because i was wondering how they’d introduce the new president picked player. i assumed they’d do something similar to the plane or boat but it was nothing like that. it left off with the book saying “they should be here anytime soon :)” no fucking idea who “they” could actually be but we can just assume they represents the players so shes just left to wait there?? alone and in the snow?? its weird. like what the fuck was that building? what was she doing there? she didn’t seem to know herself so maybe her memory have also been wiped? but i have a feeling shes not NEW to the island.

and i’m already questioning if what we saw was even present time. meta wise im pretty sure they placed bagi on a different version of the server for her little entrance cause she didnt join the server the players online were on and i think that is an interesting choice because why not? cause if it was to maintain the element of surprise well they could’ve just let her join along side with the other new player the same day. and also then the tweet directly stating her arrival. SO clearly it wasn’t to avoid the players knowing. so i think we can reasonably take note that qbagi distinctly got an interesting introduction different to the rest that to me gave off the impression this either wasn’t the present time. and or she definitely has some planned backstory. and or she was on a different island.

i keep thinking back to the room she was in cause like the way it was built was so different to what we typically see from the admins ya know.

can we talk about the building qbagi spawned in cause what the fuck was that

[woobly]

FLOWERS AND FILM . . . 박성화 !

PAIRING. florist! seonghwa x gn! tourist! reader GENRE. strangers to lovers, implied star-crossed lovers au, college au, fluff, poor attempt at angst WARNINGS. cursing, partial nudity for a split second WORD COUNT. 7.7k

𓂋˚˖ SYNOPSIS. after going through several breakups, you've finally learned that constantly looking for someone to be in a relationship with only ends in heartache. but when you find love again in someplace unexpected, does it also lead you to the same unhappy ending?

𓂋˚˖ A/N. happy valentine’s day! i didn’t actually plan this specifically for today, but here it is anyway :D also im not sure if the pacing is too fast so lmk if it is i guess. and quick fun fact! while writing, i kept seeing concert vids of seonghwa dancing dlbw, his happy song while on tour, so i just had to include :3

𓂋˚˖ EVENT. for @ficscafe’s trope event! i used the trope the epitome of elegance x clumsy mess, or at least i attempted to &lt;/3

“GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO HEATHROW AIRPORT. local time is 8:06 in the evening, and the temperature is 15°C or 59°F. for your safety, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the captain turns off the fasten seat belt sign. on behalf of AZ airlines and the entire crew, i would like to thank you for flying with us, and we hope to see you onboard again in the near future. may you all have a pleasant stay here in london.”

you look out the airplane window to your left and try to look through the mist that has built up on the thick glass. a few planes of different sizes are lined up beside the one you’re currently on. the moonlight faintly shines on the airport right in front of you and the buildings in the distance, although they really only look like a blanket of lights bunched up together.

you look back into the plane as a yawn takes over your body. the captain has already turned off the seat belt sign, so some passengers have already begun standing up even if the doors haven’t been opened yet. when they do, you turn off the movie you’ve been listening to for the past hour (which you’ve already watched multiple times before) and take off the headphones provided by the airlines. you pack away the rest of your things and finally stand up to stretch. the passengers a few rows in front of you have already left, so you move out of your seat to take the rest of your hand-carry luggage from the overhead cabin.

the walk through the airport, through immigration and baggage claim, was pretty much a breeze. after you realized that there were too many people and that it would probably take a while to get through all that, you decided that you were tired and would rather listen to music. once you’re done and walking through the final gate, you hear a loud scream for your name that you recognize almost immediately and suddenly you’re no longer so tired.

you don’t even have to see her face to confirm who she is. without realizing it, you start picking up your pace, frantically searching for the person who called you. once she was finally in front of you, your things are suddenly on the floor and your arms are tightly wrapped around her. “mimi!”

“bitch, i can’t breathe,”

you release your older sister miyoung from your hug attack to cup her face instead. “how have you been?”

“i literally called you before your flight- what are you on about?”

“right, but it's been too long since we last talked talked,” you pout as the younger sibling role settles in you while in her presence.

“let’s talk later. right now, i’m sure you’re starving coz i’m starving since you took almost an hour going through immigration. and don’t touch my face again unless you have clean hands,”

“yes, mom,” she takes your wheeled luggage while you pick up the rest of your bags. “where are we eating?”

“i’ll take you to my favorite, it’s only 30 minutes from here,”

the ride to the restaurant in mimi’s car was surprisingly just as loud, with you bombarding her with questions about her life here in the bustling city. your conversation crosses over to dinner, from talking about your sister’s job and your college professors to sharing stories from your past relationships that you've never told and almost crying over old memories.

ever since someone confessed to you for the first time, the timeline you live in changed tremendously. you felt the need to be in a relationship and be around someone all the time. you convinced yourself that it wasn't because of the pressure among people your age to be in one (although it is true), but because it felt nice to have a favorite person and to be someone's favorite person. you were either constantly looking for someone who you could call your ‘significant other’, or entertaining someone who wanted to call you exactly that.

unfortunately, this came at a high price. it’s not an uncommon notion that many couples break up at some point, whether it's after a few months or a few years. you weren't unacquainted with this either. you've had your fair share, with numbers rising up to two hands (not that body count matters). and since you hardly had anyone to turn to, you've learned to deal with the post-breakup process mostly on your own. over time, it became easier and faster to move on, crying less each time. you avoided giving your entire being into the relationship, giving less and less of yourself so as not to break too hard in the end.

“honestly though, i’m tired. i’m gonna stop looking for someone to like and just focus on college. whether i get into a relationship again or not, that's no longer my problem,”

“stop lying to yourself. you know you’re gonna jump the person you like, even if it's only slight, the moment they confess to you,” miyoung chuckles as she takes a scoop of her mashed potato.

“you know me so well,” you give her a strained smile. “but shut the fuck up anyway,”

this is why you will always be grateful for your one and only sister. although you didn't have people to turn to when you needed comfort, she always helped you pick yourself back up. you may have lost numerous people in the span of only a few years, but miyoung was the only one who stayed constant. although she was the more hard-working one in your duo, she never failed to make time for you.

before you know it, you’re back in the car, and she’s driving you to her apartment, your jetlag slowly sinking in. once you arrive, you don’t even bother to unpack some of your things and head straight to bed.

the blaring of your alarm, unfortunately, disrupts your deep sleep. you pick up your phone which is right beside your head and turn it off to see that it’s already 11 in the morning. when you walk out into the living room to find no one around, you assume that your sister has already left for work.

after you make yourself brunch with whatever was in the kitchen, you take your time getting ready, unpacking some of your things while you’re at it. it’s really refreshing to finally have absolutely nothing to worry about that the worst thing that’s running through your mind is what to do next. you didn’t really want to create an entire itinerary for every second of your stay, but your sister did send you a list of places she thought you might want to visit. today, however, you just wanted to relax and go wherever your feet take you.

although the city doesn’t seem so special at first glance, you take time to observe all the buildings and establishments you pass by, from houses to bookshops, and all the people walking around with you. when a little flower shop comes into view not too far away, you decide you want to buy some flowers for your room and for your sister.

when you enter, no one was around, not even behind the counter. still, you slowly walk around the shop and see which ones you should buy. you don’t notice that someone was already standing next to you until he spoke up.

“hi, is there anyone you want to give flowers to?” you were so startled by the low voice that you somehow manage to lose your balance as you turned towards the pink-haired man who thankfully catches you by the arm. “woah, sorry i didn’t mean to scare you,”

“it’s fine. i guess i could never go through my day without tripping over my own feet at least once,” you look up again to the man beside you and wow you never thought pink hair could suit someone so well.

you didn’t realize you were staring when he spoke up again. “so, may i help you?”

”oh! well, i’m buying for my sister and for myself, but i’m not really sure what’s appropriate since i’m not familiar with the messages behind these,” you reach out for the flowers labeled ‘white carnations’.

“those can represent innocence, purity, and luck,” he says as he watches you move around and lightly brush the flowers in front of you.

“then maybe gratitude? for my sister,”

the man doesn’t even need a second to think and immediately turns around, to which you follow. he picks up a few flowers from the ‘hydrangea’ basket and hands them to you. “hydrangeas can also mean grace and beauty,”

“these are perfect,” you smile at how they truly remind you of your sister.

“then what about for you?”

you look up at him and notice his big curious eyes waiting for what you might want. “surprise me,” you quickly look at his nametag. “..seonghwa,”

he takes a hot minute to look into your eyes as if that could help him find out more about you, find out which flowers suit your style and personality. after he goes around the shop for a while, he comes back with two types of flowers.

“couldn’t choose, so i got both. these are asters and white camellias,”

“and is there a reason you got me these?”

he takes a moment to look at you again, opening and closing his mouth, seemingly trying to decide whether he should tell you or not. “...secret,”

“you- why not?”

“flowers are meant to deliver messages that you can’t really say out loud,” he shrugs and flashes a shy smile, and you debate whether you should tease him about it and push him to tell you, or just leave the mystery be. “alright, fine, i’ll tell you. but you have to spend the rest of the day with me,”

“and why would i do that?” you smirked at his indirect attempt at what you assume is asking you out. although i would gladly do so anyway is what you want to say next but obviously, you don’t. “google doesn’t exist for nothing,” you declared.

“well, i think you’d miss out on a good time and google isn’t always right, you know,” he grins like a child and continues to look at you expectantly. you still take some time to think about it since he is still someone you just met ten minutes ago, but ultimately, you come down to fuck it.

“fine, deal,” for a split second, his eyes widen with shock for accepting his condition at all. “i mean, i don’t really have any plans since it’s fall break. you don’t seem to be a dangerous person either, so … but if you’re planning to take me to the woods, then think again coz i learned judo in freshman year,”

he brings his hands up and uses his left palm and right pointer finger to mimic writing on a piece of paper. “no woods, judo, noted. could you wait for me then? i’ll just arrange and wrap these flowers for you then i just need to tell my boss i’m leaving,” you nod and he takes the flowers from your hands. “we can come back for these later so that you don’t have to carry them around all day,”

you watch as he carefully arranges the flowers he suggested to you with different materials and other smaller flowers with ease. once he’s finished, he sets them aside and goes into the room at the back while you walk towards the window to watch the cars and people passing by.

“where are we going?”

“the national gallery,” you think you’ve heard or read it somewhere, probably one of the things on the list your sister gave you.

“why there? if i may ask,”

“you seem like someone who truly appreciates art, and there’s also a new exhibit i’ve been meaning to visit,”

“okay, but what makes you think i like art?”

“for one, you’ve got a camera hanging around your neck. two, you seem like a thoughtful person. you entered the shop wanting to buy flowers based on their meanings, which not a whole lot of people really do. but honestly, it was just a hunch. am i wrong?,”

“oh no, you’re not. i guess the camera gave it away,” you give him a small smile as you follow him to the art museum, walking side by side. “how about you? are you a botany student or something? you know a lot about flowers,”

“actually, i’m a dance major,” you quickly turn your head in shock as you don’t see any correlation between the two, except maybe when you use flowers as props.

“i didn’t peg you as a dancer,”

“then what did you peg me as?”

“i’m not sure actually. i thought you could be a model, but then i thought maybe you’re taking something biology-related?”

“a model?” he chuckles at that, and his cheeks turn a gentle shade of pink, which you just pass off as due to the cold weather. “i did actually consider bio, but in the end, i went with dance. i work at the shop because i wanted to do part-time, and my aunt owns it, so i help out. she told me i should at least learn a bit about floriography, so i did,” you turn your head to him, silently asking what the word means. “floriography is the language of flowers. it comes from the victorian era,”

“oh, so that’s why you could just tell your ‘boss’ you were leaving as if you were just asking your mom if you could go outside to play. i thought they were just really nice,”

“that’s what you’re hung up on?” he turns to you and chuckles breathily. “you could come work with me at the shop, then .. uh i just realized-,”

“it’s y/n. and you just broke my record for the longest time it takes for a stranger to ask my name,” the both of you laugh as you enter the museum.

after walking through different exhibits for a while, you finally arrive at the one that he wanted to see. when you enter, you are delighted to see that there are quite a few more people looking around. you notice that seonghwa seems to be looking for someone in the venue. “do you mind going around by yourself for a bit? i’m just gonna greet my friends,”

you shake your head and watch as he walks towards a few guys, suddenly hearing loud banters from them. after looking at the artworks alone for a while, you feel someone walking towards you.

“you ditch all your dates like this?”

“you guys are on a date?” you turn to the man beside you and realize that’s not seonghwa.

“and you are?”

“name’s hongjoong. i’m a friend of the man you came in here with,” hongjoong? you check the description of the sculpture you were just looking at to see the same name. “yep, i also made that,”

“woah, you sculpted this? you’re really good! i love the perfect balance of intricate details and the serenity that seems to flow from it,”

“thanks. at least someone knows how to appreciate my work,” he rolls his eyes and looks at seonghwa as the man in question approaches the both of you.

“you said you wanted constructive criticism, so i gave you exactly that,”

“saying i need to do it all over again is not constructive criticism,”

“you were making a portrait of me, and it didn’t look like me, what did you want me to say?” you lightly chuckle at their bickering and pull them away from each other before anything happens.

“anyway, i think my prof might be calling me. it was nice meeting you, seonghwa’s date,” you smile and bow as hongjoong jogs away.

“date?”

“oh, that’s nothing. take it as you will,”

after a few moments of silence, you try to strike up a conversation again. “so hongjoong .. is he an art major?”

“yeah, we go to the same college. his prof decided to showcase their sculptures for their final last sem, but today was the only day available, so here they are. what about you? you seem to be a long way from home,” you frown at him in confusion, spurring him on to explain what he meant. “you said earlier that you’re on fall break right now, and it’s definitely not fall break here in london. and you were taking pictures when we were walking outside,” he blurted as he pointed towards your camera.

“damn, how did you even pick up on that? and here i thought i was doing an excellent job at pretending not to be a tourist,” you chuckle as you pick up your camera from hanging it around your neck and examine it as if you don’t already know how to use it. “i’m actually a photography major. i came here to visit my sister, but i also hoped i could get some inspiration and good pictures while i’m here,”

“that’s really cool. if you want to take pictures of me, you don’t need to ask- i’d be most honored,” he smiles and bows like a prince, with one arm across his stomach and the other behind him.

the rest of the night continues like a breeze, with seonghwa agreeing to meet up with his other friends later in the night, saying he’ll be “a little late”, and you feeling a little bad that you’re probably the reason behind it. the both of you also decided to get some dinner together, and the entire time, it just felt like you were catching up with an old friend.

when it was getting dark, you both head back to the flower shop, which was already closed. seonghwa opens the doors with his keys, grabs the flowers he wrapped for you earlier and hands them to you.

“may i walk you home? it’s dark out now,”

“it’s fine, you’ve got your friends waiting for you, and the apartment���s only a few blocks away,”

“please, it’s the least i can do for asking you to spend your day with me so suddenly,” it takes you a solid 5 seconds to remember the whole deal you made this afternoon.

“oh right! yes, you definitely have to walk me home,” you say as you start walking. “so tell me, why did you choose these flowers for me?”

he stares at you for a moment, but instead of replying, he turns to the satchel bag slung on his shoulder and fishes for a small pocketbook from one of the compartments, which he hands over to you. you read the title in your head as it says ‘the language of flowers’.

“look for asters and white camellias when you get home,”

“you’re still not gonna tell me?”

he simply shrugs. “i still stand by what i said about delivering silent messages,”

all you could do was chuckle at the man’s antics. you can’t really blame him anyway because it seems impossible to be angry with him and because you surprisingly enjoyed the time you spent with him today.

as if on cue, the building of your sister’s apartment comes into view. “well, this is me. see you around?”

“yeah, you know where to find me,” he smiles, and you turn to enter the building, but not before waving one last time. as you walk towards the unit, all you can think about is the flowers in your hand, the little book, and seonghwa.

once you enter the flat, you are greeted with the sight of takeout and a zombie of a sister, who hardly even noticed you arrive, combined with a sitcom playing on the tv.

“these flowers are for you, mimi,” you place the hydrangeas on the small round dining table.

“thanks? what for?”

“nothing, just felt like it. i’ll just put my stuff down then i’ll eat with you,”

you hear a tired ‘okay’ as you enter your room. the moment you closed the door, you open the floriography book to find that asters represent love, wisdom, faith, and daintiness, but you notice a little note written by who you assume is seonghwa, saying that they were also used as offerings in the altar of the gods in greek mythology. a few more flips of pages and you find that white camellias symbolize adoration, and that in the victorian era, it roughly translates to ‘you’re adorable’.

if you weren’t blushing like a little schoolgirl earlier, you definitely are now.

the next few days were spent either with seonghwa or your sister miyoung. however, because miyoung has a 9 to 5 job, usually working overtime even on saturdays, you seemed to be around seonghwa a lot more, not that you’re complaining.

when your sister was free though, she would either take you to her favorite restaurants for dinner or you both just stayed at the apartment and binge watched an old cartoon series you used to watch together as kids. meanwhile, when seonghwa wasn’t busy attending lectures or working, he usually took your afternoons, bringing you to different tourist spots and smaller establishments like a tour guide. and on days when he can't accompany you, he makes sure to call. he’s even introduced you to his other friends, the ones he talked to when you went to the national gallery, and you found them to be a chaotic but welcoming bunch.

one time, after taking you through the hampton court palace, you stepped into the nearest gift shop right after. on the numerous times you asked to go to a gift shop, he noticed that you usually only bought a postcard with a photo of the place you just visited. and every time before he walks you back to your sister’s apartment, you always ask to stop by a cafe first where you take out the postcard and quickly write on it. this time, curiosity got the best of him.

“why don’t you buy anything else aside from a postcard? i’ll pay if you want,”

you look up from the card you were busy writing on and at seonghwa who is sitting in front of you.

“oh no, it’s fine. postcards are really all i need. not those shot glasses or bottle openers,” you chuckle as you go back to writing.

“then let me rephrase my question. why do you buy a postcard every day and also write on it hurriedly in a cafe every day?”

you look up again, and you guess it showed a bit of hesitancy because then he was suddenly waving his hands.

“oh! no, if you don’t wanna tell me, it’s fine. i was just curious,”

“you’re gonna laugh,” you give him a reassuring smile and look away.

“i won’t. scout’s promise,”

you look back at him and switch between his eyes, but you only found sincerity in them. you sigh as you finally tell him that you write on postcards like a diary, going through everything that’s happened on that day because you unfortunately have a poor memory.

“really?”

“yeah, i treat it like a travel journal. it’s so tedious to actually maintain one, so i do this instead,”

“who do you address them to?”

“... myself. i write them to myself .. from myself,”

he smiles fondly at the hobby of yours that he just discovered. “that’s cute. then, will you also mail them?”

“yeah!” you beam when he didn’t show any signs of feeling somewhat appalled or make any jokes. “it’s really cool to find them in your mailbox at home too. sometimes they even come home wet from rain,”

you go back to finishing on your postcard, but not without noticing the eyes that are constantly on you.

today wasn’t any different. it’s a saturday, and seonghwa promised to take you around the city again after meeting up in the morning with his group to work on a presentation. you accidentally woke up a little earlier than you intended, so you decided to surprise him at the college library.

you weren’t very good with directions, so it took you a while before you found his university. when you arrived, all your frustrations from going around in circles were suddenly washed away as you took in the beauty of the campus. most of the buildings looked a bit old, probably at least 100 years old, with distinct old english decorations half covered in vines. of course, there were still some more modern buildings, but there was a good balance between the two that makes the school feel homely.

a few students were coming in and out of the gates when you facepalmed yourself once you realized that there was no way of you getting inside without ruining the surprise.

seonghwa, on the other hand, was busy working on the slides for his group’s presentation. one of his groupmates who hasn't been helping also didn't show up today, so he now has to do their parts as well. he was starting to get fed up with the stress he was feeling, and being unable to let it out in a library was not helping- until he received a message from you.

y/n: hey

y/n: so uh

y/n: the stupidity kinda came out today

seonghwa: good morning to u too

seonghwa: did something happen?

y/n: im kinda outside ur school gates rn

y/n: but i realized i don’t have a student card lmao

seonghwa: WHAT .

seonghwa: stay right there

finally having an excuse to take a break, he told the rest of his group that he just needed to pick something up. he brisk walked towards the library doors and quickly ran across campus to where you were waiting.

“what are you doing here?”

“i was supposed to surprise you coz i woke up too early,” you slightly sulk as he ushers you into the campus. “now i made you leave your group. sorry about that,”

“don’t be. i needed a distraction. plus as long as it's you, i don’t mind,” he declares as he turns to you with a small smile on his face.

there he goes again. his words are so simple, but the way he says them with an air of grace and confidence makes him seem so dignified and somehow out-of-reach, yet it pulls you to him even more.

when you reach the library, he asks you to wait for him as he goes back inside to grab his things and take his leave from the group.

“where are we going, dora the explorer?”

“what do you mean, i’m just the monkey or the map at best,” he chuckles as you walk side-by-side with a distance in between you that may or may not be a little too small. “actually since you’re here, i thought we could go around campus for a while,”

“i’d like that. everything about it is so beautiful and enchanting, almost like castles pulled straight from fairytales if they were real,”

“they don’t compare to you, though. you’re at the center keeping all this beauty together,” again with the genuine smile and calm tone.

“stop being so cheesy without being a tease. it’s so hard to get annoyed with you like that,” you lightly punch his arm and he dramatically feigns pain as he rubs the spot you just hit.

“you’ll just have to get used to it,”

after walking around for some time, you find yourselves alongside a river where seonghwa sits under a tree, watching you take a few photos of the scenery and buildings.

“i have an idea. do you think you can do one of your routines here?”

“here? right now?”

“yeah i mean there's no one else here, and i wanted to take pictures of you,” you slightly blush as you realize what you just said.

“okay, i guess i can do one or two. but you’re only allowed to take good pictures,”

“even if i tried getting a weird photo of you, you’d still look good anyway,” you scoff, sitting down in the shade and leaning backwards on your hands to take a good look at him.

“take a picture. it’ll-”

“that’s old, seonghwa. try it on someone who’s not a photography major,” he laughs breathily as you take off your bright purple cardigan. “wear this,”

“while dancing? also i think my hair alone is already bright enough to stand out in a crowd,”

“just trust me,”

he mutters a small ‘okay’, removes his own cardigan and tie, and unbuttons his shirt before taking your piece of clothing.

“what are you doing?” your hands slip on the grass and you fall sharply on your elbows and back when you turn to see him shirtless.

“i don’t think your cardigan goes well with what i’m wearing,” he said with a teasing tone and a smirk plastered on his face.

once he’s fully clothed once again, you take the matching purple handkerchief wrapped around your hair and wrap it around his neck like a choker. you were so focused on tying the cloth properly and so closely that you didn’t notice the way seonghwa stared at your concentrated face and held in his breath.

“okay! now play a song and dance right there beside the river. just be careful,”

he walks over to the spot you pointed at and plays a melancholic song just loud enough for the both of you to hear. the moment you hear the music, his face contorts into something of pain and longing, and you were immediately enthralled.

a rush of a feeling you can’t quite place surges through you as you capture the man before you, pushing you to amplify all the emotions flowing through seonghwa as he seemingly floats on air. you were so entranced by the scene that you hardly registered the sound of your camera clicking and your body subconsciously kept moving around to find the right angle.

you didn’t even realize the song had already finished until he bent over on his knees panting. you get up and slowly walk towards him.

“seonghwa…”

just as you were about to shower him in compliments and admiration, another song started playing, this time more upbeat. he immediately looked up at you while stars seemingly twinkled in his doe eyes. “one more,”

you smile at how excited he looked and how he doesn’t seem to lose energy and walk back to where you were taking pictures.

a completely different person was dancing this time. he no longer looks like a man who’s lived 20 lives and experienced heartbreak in all of them. no, his inner child seemed to come to life as he danced in a different, more sharp style with a smile that almost hid his eyes. if just a while ago, he was a swan full of grace and poise, now he was a butterfly who is finally free and couldn’t have a care in the world.

by the time the first chorus of the song finished, you suddenly remembered that you brought your film camera with you today, so you rush back under the tree to grab it. you weren’t even sure if there was any film left inside. since you’re trying to capture a moving subject, you could only hope that the photos you’ll take with it will come out fine.

once the song finished, you immediately started clapping and cheering as he staggers towards the shade.

“that was so good! the stark difference between the two dances– and yet you expressed both emotions so well! i don’t know how you did it, but that was beautiful,” you beamed in awe as seonghwa lays flat on the grass with an equally radiant smile on his face.

“thanks. i haven’t had that much fun in a while. it felt kinda .. freeing,”

you put away your cameras and lay beside him, elation still coursing through your veins. you turn towards him to see that he’s closed his eyes in hopes to gain back his energy. his breathing matches yours as you both bask in the cool breeze.

“i have a question, which by the way you don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable because i’m just cu-,”

“y/n, i promise i’m comfortable with you, but what is it?,” he chuckles slightly.

“is there any particular reason you chose to pursue dancing?”

he opens his eyes to stare at the leaves trying to block the harsh sun. “this might sound a bit cliche, but i used to watch my mom perform. she was a very graceful dancer until she suffered from an injury that stopped her from dancing. that didn't discourage me from pursuing it though. i always wanted to be like her, and i found that it was easy for me to express emotions when dancing. i also just enjoy the fulfillment that choreographing and learning routines give me. doing them with other people is also really fun,” he smiles as he stares into the distance longingly. “your turn,”

“me?”

“yeah, i’m curious too,” he turns to his side, props up his arm and leans his head on his hand while gazing at you. this time, it was you who stared up into the half empty sky.

“i got my first camera when i was 16. it was a simple disposable film camera, and i didn't wanna waste any film, so i tried teaching myself how to take good pictures. i really liked how you could tell stories and also show the beauty around me that only i could see in just one picture alone, but i was mostly into the idea of immortalizing memories and moments into a piece of film. i already told you that i usually have a hard time remembering things in the past, so the pictures i take are always dear to me,”

a comfortable silence takes over, so you turn your head to find seonghwa simply staring. “are you gonna say something?”

he goes back to lying on his back and sighs. “i was just thinking about what you said. i must have saved a kingdom in my past life for me to be among your pictures then,” he smiles and turns his head towards you.

you chuckle as you both continue to look into each other’s eyes, both wanting to say something but tongues seemingly caught in their throats.

“i have an idea,”

he gets up and pulls out his phone once again, making you sit up as well. “aren’t you tired?”

“nope,” he pops the ‘p’ as he scrolls through his phone. “i could never be tired of dancing,”

once he finds and plays the song he’s looking for, he sets it down and slightly bends over to bring his hand out in front of you.

“may i have this dance?”

“i don’t know how. plus you’re really sweaty,”

“c’mon, don’t ruin the moment,”

you reluctantly place your hand over his, and he helps you up. he places your left hand on the upper part of his arm, then he places his right hand behind your shoulder, his arm supporting yours up. he takes your other hand and clasps them together as he brings you closer to him.

“i never learned how to waltz,” you look down as you whisper sheepishly.

“look at me,” you do as he says and you find your breath caught in your throat as you stare into each other’s eyes. “relax, i’ll guide you. right foot forward first,”

you take your time trying to move around without stepping on his or your feet, which you do a few times, but he doesn’t even look the least bit annoyed. by the time you reach the last leg of the song, you finally get the hang of things, and you’re grinning with satisfaction.

at the end of the song, he spins you around, and you manage to stumble on your legs. you almost fall on your back, but he’s quick to hold you up, albeit a little too close to his face.

“hi,” he chuckled with childlike wonder before he helps you to your feet.

although the song is over, neither of you move or say anything, unable to leave the gaze you held upon each other.

“i think we should .. get going?” you ask as you look away from him upon sensing the growing tension. he simply nods as he takes off the clothes you gave him and changes into what he was wearing earlier.

“i’ll take these with me and wash them first,”

you can only agree as you remain in your flustered state. you both take your leave from the university campus, and seonghwa steps back into his tour guide character.

the rest of your time here in london was pretty much the same, a cycle of spending time with miyoung or seonghwa, and occasionally his friend group. however, the day you had to fly back home was slowly coming around, haunting you each day it does. you’d very much hate to leave, not when both miyoung and seonghwa are here.

miyoung knew that your last day in london was nearing, so she tried to spend more time with you. unfortunately for you, in that time, she noticed that you always had flowers when coming home, and now she knows that you’ve been ‘seeing’ a guy, although you've reminded her countless times that you and seonghwa weren't like that.

she then asked to invite him over a few times, wanting to meet and ‘approve’ or ‘disapprove’ of him. you were thankful that seonghwa was a good sport about it and even made your sister head over heels for him (in an approving ‘he’s too good for you!’ type of way).

on the other hand, you were too afraid to tell seonghwa that you were going back home in a few days. it was stupid, you know, but you couldn't find the right time to tell him.

that was your first mistake.

because when he appeared on your doorstep, flowers in hand and about to actually ask you out (but you didn't know that), he was more than devastated.

“you’re leaving?” you saw how his usual twinkling eyes suddenly looked empty, and it twisted something painfully inside you.

“yeah,” you whisper as you look away from him. “i’m really sorry i didn't tell you earlier. i couldn't bring myself to tell you,”

you take the flowers from his hands and open the door even further to let him inside the apartment, and he tries his best not to look too dejected.

that was your second mistake.

you offer him something from the kitchen, which he declines, and you wonder how long you'll be feeling guilty like this.

your flight is in a few hours, so you go back to your room as miyoung tries to strike a conversation with him to lighten the mood.

after a while, as you fold the remainder of your clothes, he knocks at your door, and you allow him in. in the corner of your eye, you notice him walking to your messy study table.

“are these .. all the flowers i’ve given you?”

you know exactly what he's talking about, and for some reason, it hurts you even more.

“yeah, i wanted them to last so i took a few and dried and pressed them,” you wanted to tell him that you wanted to keep every reminder of him that you could have, but you don’t.

“what about the postcards?”

“i already had them mailed this morning,”

“oh,”

you take in a deep breath and sigh shakily. you know exactly how you feel about the man, and what you wished you could say to him. your sister even helped you realize that last night. and you also reluctantly came to terms with the fact that you can’t be with him because it would be hard to maintain a long-distance relationship while it's still fresh.

and you cursed the universe for letting this happen to you.

just when you finally decided to stop actively looking for love, seonghwa casually enters your life and gives you exactly that.

it was scary how easily and quickly you became comfortable around him, so much so that you have never been so willing to give your whole self to someone in such a long time.

you may have been a tourist here in london, but he made you feel like your home belongs here, with him, in his arms.

“and these are the pictures you took of me?”

your head snaps up because you thought you already packed them.

“.. yeah,”

“they're beautiful. may i keep one?”

“of course. i still have the soft copy, so don’t worry,” you finish folding and packing your clothes, so you move to your table.

he watches as you clean up and pack the things on your table, carefully placing the dried flowers inside a notebook and the photos inside an envelope.

“do you mind if i drive you to the airport?”

“are you sure? are you not busy?”

“yeah, i’m sure. i wanna maximize my time with you,”

you slightly freeze at that and take your eyes away from his because you feel like you'll start crying if you keep eye contact with him.

before you know it, seonghwa’s already driving you and your sister to the airport, the flowers he brought earlier on your lap.

unloading your luggage and taking you to the entrance was faster than you would have liked.

you turn to your sister first, and she starts crying.

“stop crying. you know i’m just as emotional as you are,”

she cups your face and places your foreheads together, something you did when she also left your home for london.

“call me when you arrive, okay? and don’t you dare avoid my calls whatsoever,��

you smile and a tear falls from your eye as you hug her tight.

you then turned to seonghwa. you couldn't bring yourself to look up at him because you knew that the tears would never stop if you did.

“hey, look at me,”

you did exactly that and found that he also shed a tear, and now you really couldn't hold it in. you wrapped your arms around his torso and rested your head in the crook of his neck.

“don’t miss me too much,” he chuckled as he stroked your hair to calm you down. “call me too when you’ve arrived, okay? i promise we'll keep in touch coz i’m not going anywhere,”

you nod as you try to stop crying. before you released him from your hug, he whispers, “i wish you could stay,”

you finally break, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to recover. i would if you asked me to, but it’s too late for that now.

unable to do anything else out of fear of also breaking, he takes one of your hands gently as if they would break and kisses the back of it.

if you stayed in his presence a little longer, you knew you wouldn't be able to leave, so you took your luggage and went through the gates. you turned back to them once more to wave, and that was the last you saw of seonghwa.

two weeks after you arrived back at your home, you finally received the postcards you mailed. you found yourself smiling as you read whatever you wrote, your heart stinging at every mention of seonghwa.

in the first few months, you and seonghwa kept in touch pretty often, as he promised. although it was difficult to do so due to the difference in timezones and college work, you both tried to find time for each other.

however, it became more difficult as time passed. during calls, one of you would either fall asleep or end the call early. over time, you somehow felt like you no longer knew the man you fell hard for all those months ago.

just as quickly as you met and found love in him, he simply became a distant memory engraved in pictures and flowers.

it was now more than a year since your trip to london. you graduated a few months ago and were finally having your very first exhibit. it wasn't too crowded, but you were grateful for all the people who were interested in your work.

you were talking to one of your old college professors when one of the security guards told you that there was something for you at the lobby. you excused yourself and made your way to the concierge.

“hi, i was told there was something for me?”

“ah, miss y/l/n! yes, this bouquet is for you,” they hand you the bouquet they were talking about, and you check the tag for the sender.

there was no name written on it, but you noticed a familiar logo. you look again at the flowers, and you realize what combination they are- asters and white camellias.

you didn't need a second longer for you to know who this was from.

without even sparing the lady at the concierge a simple ‘thank you’, tears started threatening to fall, and you immediately ran back to your exhibit. you frantically searched for any pink-haired man that you might've missed, but to no avail. you tried to calm yourself down and slowly examined the side profiles of the people around, or what you can see of them anyway.

that's when you finally found him, looking at an all too familiar picture that you could recognize even if you were tens of feet away. this time, however, he dyed his hair black, and you thought it made him look even more regal and ethereal.

bouquet of asters and camellias in hand, you slowly make your way to the man as you wipe whatever tears had escaped. you stopped right behind him and sighed.

“hey, stranger.”

© woobly, 2022. all rights reserved.

[twodimecastle]

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[navegandoaciegas]

I’d love to see some car/bike/plane sex because why not :)

Travelling with Bucky would include:

Kinktober 4/31: sex in public places

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (beefy!bucky, smut, explicit language, sex in public places, rough sex, anal/oral/vaginal sex)

A/N: Day 4 of @itgetsdarksometimes35 Spooky Challenge/Kinktober.

bucky’s favorite activity is taking you on long, scenic rides on his black honda bike

you love the thrill of speeding along the empty streets at sunrise, the loud rumble of bucky’s bike the only sound for miles. he loves your tight hold on his waist and your warm body agaist his back

you let your hands roam on his leather jacket lower and lower until you’re palming his cock through his jeans, feeling him grow hard and throb underneath you with each stroke

you can’t hear a word he says, but you can feel his back vibrate with a grunt

he takes the closest exit and drives a couple of miles until you reach a secluded area. the bike slows down until it comes to a stop and you both get out of your helmets

“what do you think you’re doing, kitten, teasin’ me like that?” he murmurs, hands hiking up your skirt and stopping just before your soaked panties “you like acting like a little slut, don’t you?”

“i love it” you purr, knowing damn well what the punishment for doing dangerous things like touching him while he drives is

as predicted he takes you against his bike, your skirt bunched at your waist, his grip on your breast brusing as he pounds into you from behind

“oh my god, harder, fuck me harder” you beg, drool coming out of your mouth and eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“so tight, made for me, look how well you’re taking my cock baby”

he loves leaving bitemarks and hickeys all over your neck

also loves forcing your mouth open and spitting inside it, “now swallow like the good slut you are babygirl”

“cum doll, i want you to cum all over my cock and make a mess of yourself, wanna watch as i make you fall apart”

nothing compares to the feeling of you clenching on his cock, you walls fluttering around him as pleasure wrecks through you

your whole body tenses up and your release spills out of you and all over his cock. the beautiful wanton moans you let out and the way you scream his name make tip him over the edge

he keeps pummeling inside you until he feels his own release get close

“fuck doll, i’m so close, im gonna-“

he yanks you down on your knees and shoots his load all over you, panting your pretty face with his cum

he groans when he sees you lick your lips clean and collect some of his cum on your fingers, pushing it in your mouth

“god baby, you’re so fuckin’ perfect. what’d i do to deserve you”

cleans you up because he’s a gentleman

you ride into the sunrise to your next destination

very much like babies, bucky tends to fall asleep when he rides shotgun, and you love stealing glances of his sweet scrunched up face as he snoozes peacefully

very fussy and clingy when he wakes up

“doll” he whines “pull over please, wanna stretch m’ legs”

he will leave sloppy wet kisses all over your neck and cup your pussy while you try to drive without crashing the car

clearly doesn’t practice the road safety he preaches

ignores your scolding and keeps being a needy asshole until you pull over. literally jumps on you and slants his mouth agaist yours as soon as you turn off the engine

he lets his tongue explore your mouth whilst cradling your neck with his prosthetic hand, while the flesh one travels to you core, and finds you wet and aching for him

“didn’t you want to stretch your legs?” you ask

“i don’t mind stretching something else”

hands roaming all over your body, yours mussing up his hair, you feel the need for him build quickly in your cunt

you know those windows are gonna get all fogged up

he’s so beefy and tall that he keeps hitting his shins on the shift and slamming his head against the door, making you giggle

“i miss that tight little pussy of yours babygirl” he murmurs between kisses

you ride him on the backseat, your clothes still on, his hands rough as they knead your flesh and leave bruises all over your skin as you bounce your ass up and down his cock

you’re all sweaty and out of breath, but you only care about the pleasant burn of him stretching you and the throbbing ache in your pussy

“i wouldn’t mind stretching that little ass either, you know”

he gets his fingers wet with your slick and prods your puckered hole, getting you ready before sliding one past your tight rim

you feel an orgasm build up at the fullness of his cock in your pussy and his fingers in your ass

“fuck, ‘m so close baby, don’t stop, you feel so good inside me”

you keep bouncing on him as he slides his fingers in and out of your rim

“please bucky, i want you to fuck my ass too, stretch this tight little hole with your cock” you whine, and he doesn’t need to be told twice before pulling out of you and turning you around with your back to his chest

he lines his cock with your entrance and slams himself past your rim while his hand furiously rubs against your clit

“‘m gonna cum baby, gonna fill your ass up so good with my cum”

waves of pleasure overcome you and the coil inside your core snaps. you cum hard, your release gushing out of you while he shoots his load inside you

bucky loves watching his cum drip out of your abused holes when he’s done with you, especially loves the way your rim quivers around nothing, missing the fullness only he can give you

can never not make fun of you...

“what, i stretched you too much baby? need me to pull over?” he will tell you with a chuckle everytime he sees your squirm on your seat

...but you love him anyways

you fly first class because of that avenging money

you’re relaxing on your very reclined seat, watching the same movie for the hundreth time and enjoying a glass of white wine

you feel yourself getting drowsy until your hear the sharp sound of the curtains sliding on the metal railing

“doll, ‘m bored” bucky mumbles, laying next to you and nuzzling onto your side

“watch a movie?”

“i don’t like the ones they have”

“sleep”

“‘m not tired”

“listen to music”

“don’t feel like it”

you huff when you feel him peppering soft kisses along your jawline

“what the hell are you doing?” you whisper shout when his hand finds its way under the fuzzy blanket that covers you

“‘m gonna make you feel so good”

you are about to protest again but his fingers delve in your folds, “already so wet for me?”

he smears your arousal around and draws circles around your swollen clit with his thumb while the rest of his hand dips in your channel

he crooks his fingers inside you until he finds the spongy spot you said you liked being touched on, and he starts jerking his hand

the vibration in your cunt and his thumb on your clit are almost too much as you writhe in pleasure and try to keep your sounds to a minimum

he whispers soft, hushed praises in your ear, “good girl, doing so well, not making a sound, i love you so fuckin’ much baby”

you cum quickly, your walls clamping down on his hand, and he swallows your wanton moans with a rough kiss

he licks his fingers clean of your arousal and cuddles you in his arms until you both fall asleep

he’s never been happier in his long life than he is with you

Sorry I couldn’t write a whole one shot today, but this weekend was super busy! I hope you liked it anyways, please leave some feedback if you can💓

[corpsentry]

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

[willowistic22]

Red (Redfinch)

Despite their breakup, Albert still wanted to go see Finch perform in one of his concerts when Race asked him if he wanted to come. This is the perfect chance for them to talk things out again but words aren’t cooperating for either of them. With that, Finch decides to triy a different form of communication.

Words : 5233

Part : -

Warnings : Alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, angst in general

A/N : Woah that’s a crazy word count uhh,,,, hi i’m back with another fic. Another redfinch and for that we stan lol (well idk maybe yall are annoyed by all these redfinch fics but yknow what? i’m thriving off of it) But fr I’ll eventually get into writing other ships but for now have one more redfinch combined with another tswift songs (as you do) this time with Red. Wow we are so surprised who would have thought of redfinch being associated with the song red no we aren’t surprise :D This one specifically exists in my bandsies au. you don’t need to read that first to understand this (i think?) but it wouldn’t hurt if you checked that out as well:) Tbh i can’t decide whether i love it or hate it but at least i like it enough to post it. N ee wayysss enjoy!!

His brain is screaming about how much Albert shouldn’t be doing this. Comprising a list of cons that goes on forever. And although he thinks all of the cons his brain had written is logical, that one pro his heart wrote beside the long list was all it took for Al to say yes. All the cons will be worth suffering through if he finally gets to see Finch again. And maybe it’s for the better since he’s not doing well by distancing himself from the boy.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t black and white. Meaning that even if he did choose to follow what his heart wants, all the horrible feelings will still be there. And with every step he takes, inching closer to the entrance of the building, he’s getting even more terrified by the second. Thankfully, the line for the entrance is going pretty slow which gives time for Albert to calm down.

But it’s not helping. The line is crowded and full of fans, talking excitedly about the band’s awaiting concert inside. For some odd reason, he can only hear the conversations between fans that contain one specific name. He doesn’t hear anyone mentioning Romeo, Elmer, or Jojo’s name. Not even Crutchie, who he’s been told to be the fans’ favorite. Just the name Finch, being repeated all around him. With adoration and excitement lacing the name. The line is delaying the inevitable and the people around him makes him a bit overwhelmed.

“We can still turn around if you want. I’m sure they’ll find a way to give us a refund”

If he’s actually being honest, it was his best friend that got him to come. Race returned to their shared apartment a few weeks ago and rushed to ask Albert if he wanted to go see their friends performing tonight. Race knows about Al and Finch’s break up but it’s worth asking him first. And to his surprise, he said yes.

“No, it’s fine” Albert replied, “I’m fine”

“You’re picking your pimples right now”

“So?”

“It’s one of your nervous habits”

That piece of information really caught Al off guard. He didn’t think a tiny random fact about himself would actually corner him the way Race is doing now. Eyeing Albert through his glasses and raising his eyebrows despite his forehead being mostly covered by his beanie.

“Well… I-” Albert tried to come up with bullshit as fast as he could, “I like to do it on purpose too, alright?! My fingers just... get a little itchy!”

He slowly puts his hands down from previously reaching up to pick his face. And the line is still going slow, one step at a time. It’s not doing any favors for Al.

“Dude, it’s alright if you’re not ready to see him” Race continued, “It takes time, I get it”

“Race, I’ll be fine! How many more times do I have to tell you?” Albert argued, which finally made Race back down. And to make sure it’s no longer gonna be brought up, Al changes the subject, “By the way, where’s Specs and Mike? You said they’re watching too”

“They’re already backstage with the others for...  obvious reasons” Race answered casually, catching on to Albert's intentions to change the subject. “So is Kath, by the way. We’ll meet her in there though”

To that, Albert simply nods. His jittery movements turn into rocking his body on the ball of his feet while digging his lips with his teeth. Race tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. Albert knows he does. Although he’s glad he’s not bringing it up because it might make it worse.

He’d be lucky to know that he’s not the only one panicking over this. In the dressing room, an aggravated Finch throws his phone to the cushion of the couch after sending the last text to his friend Race. It sounds unlawful for Race to be ‘secretly updating’ Finch on how Albert is actually doing because it’s obviously something Albert doesn’t want to directly tell his ex.

Finch groans, placing his elbow on his armchair to support his head. The room is spinning in his view and he wishes it all to stop. Taking deep and long breaths to stabilize his shaky limbs. A little prayer starts playing in his heart, it follows the tempo of his fast heartbeat.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Finch opens his eyes and looks up to meet his bandmate sitting on the couch across from him. He hadn’t even been talking for a good hour because he’s too fixated with the first text Race sent him when he and Al first started making their way to the concert.

“Yeah, he’s in line” Finch replied, looking up to the blond boy who’s holding his bass.

“How are they not being mobbed?” Another voice rang. This time it’s not coming from one of Finch’s bandmates. It’s coming from Race and Albert’s bandmate, sitting next to the shortest member of Finch’s band on the couch.

Specs only ask that because their two bands have a long connecting history and their fanbase tends to be sort of the same in a way. With Specs dating Romeo and Mike dating Jojo, Race and Albert are bound to be recognized and mobbed by at least a few fans. Especially seeing that Albert is Finch’s former lover, although the fans know that as a rumor since the two never publicly addressed it.

“I’m assuming they’re wearing a lot of shit to cover their faces” Another answered, the other VIP of the show alongside Specs, Mike. He’s twirling his drink in his hand while the other keeps Jojo cuddled close to him, “I mean, Al’s head is really fucking bright!”

With the mention of that specific name, Finch sulks back in his armchair with a groan. He covers his face with his hands, hoping it’d make the world just stop for one second. He could hear a loud clean slap echoing the room, followed by overlaps of whispered scolding. If he had to guess, it was Mike who was the one getting slapped and scolded.

“This is a disaster…” Finch exclaimed to himself, still not lifting his face up.

“It doesn’t have to be unless you make it like that” this time a feminine voice spoke up. A voice he recognized to belong to Kath.

Finch hears footsteps approaching him. He feels the motion of someone softly kneeling down in front of him. His hands were gently pried open and he was met with Kath’s friendly smile.

“It takes time, but you gotta trust the process”

It’s not necessarily the words he needed to hear right now, but it still warms his heart to hear his friend still being there for him despite the sticky situation he has gotten them into.

Everything would’ve been just fine if Finch hadn’t been so pushy and upset over Albert’s decision. He was the one that decided to put his music career on hold to go get that engineering degree, which frankly seems pretty useless. Finch was so dirty for pulling the ‘you’re being selfish’ card at him when it’s not even his band at all. Race, Specs, Mike, Ike, and even their manager Denton were very supportive about his decision to get that degree. Heck, all their friends were! But not Finch. His boyfriend at the time. He argued like he secretly knew how the others felt about Al leaving when really there aren’t any secret feelings for him to know. All his arguments came from his own feelings.

However, he knows Albert’s ‘own decision’ was secretly coated by his father’s persuasive words. The whole ‘just in case the music career doesn’t work out’ argument was basically the copy and pasted words from his father. They both know it. Despite the arguments, it still seemed that Al was determined to fully focus on college anyways. Instead of following his fellow musician friends’ college path by getting a degree in the non-lecture-hall way, he followed his father’s words and actually attended his college classes in a proper campus.

In the moment, Finch was just too focused on Albert leaving. Maybe he was the one being selfish. He had only realize now that most of his arguments were because he didn’t want Albert to go. It’s too late now, since the last time they saw each other was when Al slammed the door of their apartment one last time with all his stuff and a plane ticket to Seattle. At that point, Finch was finally tired of all the arguing and told him that if this was his plan then he’s on his own.

The tears that came after were filled with sorrow and regret. Sorrowful because he missed him. Regretful because he only realized then that there was no valid reason for Finch to lash out in the first place other than for his own needs. The feeling is still present to this moment. And it’s currently the strongest right before a show because he knows he’s gonna be in the crowd.

“Look, we’ll let ya drown out your feelings with some booze later” Crutchie finally said, “But right now we got a show”

The band was all getting up from where they were seated, bringing whatever they needed to the stage. Crutchie gets some help from Jojo to bring his Bass till he properly sits on the stool on stage. But Finch stays perfectly still, holding Kath’s hand as if his life depends on it.

“I know I should talk to ‘im, Kath” Finch finally said, slowly joining the others in standing up. Kathrine follows along, eyes still fixed to her friend, “But… I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say to him”

“Then don’t talk” Mike suddenly inserts himself in their little conversation. He gets up and approaches the two, “Sing him the new single”

“You’re fucking insane, Mike!” Katherine instantly snapped.

“Alright, your mouth will be legally sealed shut till the end of the concert” Specs joins them only to drag Mike away. There were some protests from the boy, but it was totally shut down by everyone else in the room.

“No, wait. He’s got a point” Finch suddenly exclaimed, which quickly got the whole room to freeze in time.

He looks at his bandmates, all standing by the doorway ready to kill the concert. A half confident smile appears on his face and he says, “Let’s sing that single”

-

The concert is held in a bar like-venue with multiple floors, slowly being filled to the brim by excited fans. Their excitement bounces off the walls of the venue, creating an ecstatic kind of environment despite the tight space. The concert is going to start any minute now and while the fans surrounding him are shaking in excitement, Albert is shaking in a nervous fit.

“Still okay there, Al?”

Albert looked to his side, seeing his good friend Kathrine looking up to meet his eyes with concern. She had just joined the boys in the midst of the crowd after hanging out behind the stage with the band.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay” He replied, “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You’re squeezing my hand a little too tight”

Al had only realized he’s been holding Kath’s hand just now. His brain was too focused on his fears about meeting Finch again to the point that he hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He gets bashful all of a sudden, cheeks going a bit warm, harshly pulling away from her grasp.

“It’s okay, you can hold my hand if you want,” Katherine said gently.

“Kath, I’m fine!” Albert said, “Why won’t you and Race believe me?”

“Because we know it’s utter bullshit”

The pair looked back towards the crowd behind them where the familiar voice originated from. There, Race struggles through a sea of people with two drinks in hand. Oddly enough, he still seems to stand the heat despite still wearing his face disguise. A white cotton mask, black-framed glasses, and a grey beanie mostly providing cover for his blond curls. While Al, seeing that the venue is pretty dark and speculations has led him to believe that the fans would be focused on the concert rather than the people attending it, had already put away his mask. However, his fears still made him wear his snapback and grey-framed glasses just in case.

Albert takes his rightful drink, and with a free hand, Race takes off his own mask and stuffs it in his pockets. He complains about the stuffiness from wearing the mask all while doing so, which made Kath laugh. It appears the Albert-scolding has been forgotten for the time being, as Kath and Race starts engaging in their own conversation, which Al doesn’t mind because he’d much like to down his beer quickly.

And then the concert finally starts.

An exciting intro starts playing as the band enters the stage. The wild crowd welcoming the band is deafening to Albert’s ear. Time freezes and everything in between fades away. All he sees is Finch, up on stage wearing a smile brighter than the lighting of the venue itself. He’s using his old dark green guitar. The same one he uses when he’s writing songs in bed or when he just feels like strumming the strings. Albert remembers the memoirs of all the guitar string scars he had earned throughout the years of knowing him. Some of them were even caused by Albert himself.

Lucky that Finch hasn’t noticed Albert has been staring at him the whole time. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the boy since the start of the first song, shimmering under the spotlight with amazing vocals. Laughing about at his fellow bandmates’ antics on stage. Oh, that laugh. It gives him butterflies in his stomach like it was the first time hearing it.

He can feel two pairs of familiar eyes on him. But he’s too far gone to care. Albert really did make a big mistake for letting Finch go that easy. Because at the end of his previous college days, he still loves him and misses him dearly. His little Finchy. It doesn’t matter to Al anymore if Race and Katherine are eyeing him with sorrow or the whole world were to look at him weirdly for fixating his own eyes towards the beautiful boy on stage. He was his beautiful boy. Good lord, does he long to see the days when he got to call Finch his.

“Holy shit, I fucked up” Albert muttered under his breath, only Kath and Race could hear it, “I should’ve never had left”

His friends were definitely not expecting Albert to verbally exclaim his regret. They already knew from the start despite the redhead’s previous denials. But hearing him say it just makes it all more real. Even Albert himself was hit by a truck of reality just by loudly announcing it.

“Well, now you know” Katherine started, gentle voice on the same volume as his own despite the volume of their current surroundings being incredibly loud, “Go tell him that after the show”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t” Albert replied, fully turning away from the stage to properly look at his friends. A glint of sorrow and desperation flashes before his face, “I might make things worse!”

“Well, you’ll never know till you try” Race said, sounding a little hesitant at the start. He offered a warm smile at his friend and a hand on his shoulder, since there isn’t much he could do in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Albert turns back towards the stage only to witness the biggest surprise of his life. Finch looked back. Straight into Albert’s eyes, it pierced right through to get his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He just realized the song the band was previously playing had ended and they were waiting for the fans to quiet down. While Romeo playfully over-dramatize his thank you’s to the crowd and gets scolded by Elmer and Crutchie, Finch was continuously staring at Albert. The hands that were previously used to play with his guitar hang idly because his center of attention wasn’t at his instrument right now.

It might just be some form of hallucination Al retained from the high, but Finch seemed to be smiling at him a little. Just a little curve at the end of his lips while he’s still staring back.

Albert doesn’t know how to interpret this other than to just stare back. Deep down, his heart is flipping in all kinds of ways and his thought process is no longer comprehensible. He’s trying to read the other boy’s emotions but it’s too neutral to tell. Other than the fact that he’s smiling a little at him but that still doesn’t give him a proper answer.

Eventually Finch becomes the first one to look away, seeing that the audience had settled down for the band. Albert’s eyes were still glued to Finch, retaining his focus back to the concert. He opens his mouth for a moment to say something into his microphone, although he unexpectedly stopped. The flow of words seemed to cut short. He saved himself by pulling himself away from the microphone up front and towards the rest of his bandmates. Judging from the body language, they seem to be whispering.

“What’s happening?” Albert whispered, more to himself rather than to his friends.

“I’m not sure…” Race replied, taking a step closer to where Al is standing.

The band kept the discussion short and quickly got back to their places. Finch seems to hesitate the second time he opens his mouth to speak. But this time, he gets the words out.

“Uhh… sorry ‘bout that. I uhh… I just got the urge to go a bit out of our fixed setlist and uhh… hope you guys don’t mind” Finch explained with a little giggle at the end. The crowd couldn’t care less and cheered on. Finch smile widens at the agreement, “We thought we’d give ya an early access to our newest single that hasn’t been released yet”

A euphoric feeling passed through the crowd as the cheering got louder. It baffled Finch so much that he laughed into his mic.

“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it” Katherine commented under her breath.

But Al’s ears were sharp enough to catch it. He snaps his head around to face the girl behind him, “Do what?”

Katherine was rendered speechless to that question, despite obviously knowing what’s going on. Albert turns to Race but he has no idea. He finally turns back to the stage where Finch’s gaze was already waiting to be returned by Al himself.

Without breaking the gaze, Finch speaks into the mic with a little smile, “It’s called ‘Red’”

It was Albert’s turn to be speechless. He had no knowledge of a new single since he’s mostly been staying away from his ex’s social media for the sole purpose of moving on, which he had failed miserably. And none of his friends had told him anything about a single that’s title was a secret language only Finch and Albert share, littered with all sorts of vintage romance.

“Holy shit…” Race exclaimed, “...I had no idea they were gonna play this song”

The opening of the song starts with Jojo lightly plucking a few strings of his acoustic guitar. The crowd goes wild once again, energy bouncing off one wall to the other.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Crutchie sang the first line smoothly. At this point the other’s had joined in with their instrument. Finch fully ignoring the crowd and focused on looking at Al. Those blue eyes are trying to send a message to Albert and it’s being coded with the song they’re currently playing.

The song had carried on till it reached the chorus. All the instruments peaked at that moment and collaborated with each other to create a very euphoric sound. The crowd jumps along to the beat of the song along with a loud cheering, obviously enjoying the tune they have yet to listen to. Some were holding up cameras to capture this moment, most likely to later share it with the fans that didn’t get the chance to witness it live.

At this point, Finch had turned his face away from Al. There was a troubling look in his expression but it was quickly covered by closing his eyes as if he’s trying to concentrate on singing the chorus with the others. But Al is no fool. He knows that look on Finch’s face is when he’s trying to avoid something, and that something is him.

“Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

But loving him was red”

The words moved something in Al. It was written in a way Albert recognized it to be Finch’s writing style. Every single part of the song. From the melody, the chord progression, even the lyrics. Especially the lyrics.

“Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword

And realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out

That love could be that strong”

As Finch harmonized that line with Jojo, he stole a little sad side glance at Albert. The song returns to the chorus once again, Finch gets dragged with the beat and lightly moves his body along.

Albert gets captivated along with the music. He can feel the corner of his lips slightly rising up, which is pretty ironic seeing that Finch is singing a breakup song about them. Maybe because he’s relieved to hear Finch sing about how he’s not fully over him. Or maybe it’s because he gets to see Finch embracing the break up, which could potentially mean that he’s okay with it. But whatever it is, he’s happy seeing Finch like this. Or just seeing him in general.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head”

The chord progression’s pattern slightly changed. Finch sings his line into the microphone, closing his eyes as if to soak up all the intoxicating energy he gets from the crowd. Of people flailing their hands into the sky and a loud chorus of undecipherable shouting. But at the last line, he steals a proper glance back at Albert.

“In burning red”

The lyrics really says it all. There’s no more hidden message that Albert needs to decipher, as it's being presented right in front of him.

Finch takes over the next part of the song, shredding his guitar which makes the crowd go wild. At the moment, it looks like he’s feeling himself. Moving along with the motion of his fingers that creates each note.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red”

The song is supposed to be a punch to Albert’s guts, and yet he finds himself laughing at it. He catches a glimpse of Finch’s eyes, sneaking its way to look back at Albert every so often. And this time, he wears a smile while jumping along to the song. And it made Al smile back.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

As the song ended, the fans went wild. The look on Finch’s face seems satisfied at the success of the single they have yet been released to the world, shining at the sight of a hype crowd. He steals one last glance at Albert with a little smile on his face. Albert would dare to say he’s being a bit shy. To that, Albert smiles back with a disbelief laugh escaping his lips before Finch pulls his gaze away from the other boy.

After playing a few more songs, the concert ended. There was only one thing in Albert’s mind, which was talking to Finch. Race and Albert quickly put their disguise back on before the crowd had realized who they were as they exited the venue. The three stay behind as the venue gets emptied, Race and Katherine making quick work with their fingers on their phones to contact their friends backstage.

Jojo was the first to respond to either of them. He said that Finch is smoking behind the venue alone. One could only assume that he’s not in his best state after spontaneously choosing to sing that single. But Jojo assured them that he’s still good to talk to. Crutchie then responded, saying that Specs and Mike can pick them up to get them into the backstage.

It didn’t take them long, but Albert wasn’t keen on seeing the others right now. After being pointed towards the back door, Albert was already off. Adrenaline coursing through his veins as he makes quick steps towards it.

He gently opens the door, to avoid surprising the boy in case he was nearby. Albert steps out to a parking lot, open-spaced with another parking lot above it as its roof. At a first glance it was completely empty, only a few lights turned on to keep the area lit. His eyes gandered even further and spotted the boy he was looking for, back facing Al and his body leaning on metal bars as he enjoyed the nightlife of the city.

Albert took a deep breath to calm his adrenaline, slowing down his walking pace. The area is eerily quiet. Only a few things that can be heard: his footsteps, his thumping heart, and the sounds coming from the streets three stories below them. With every step closer, he slowly unraveled his makeshift disguise. Shoving his mask and glasses in the pockets of his jeans but left the snapback on.

“‘Loving him was red’” Albert said to catch Finch’s attention, “Did you mean it to be that obvious?”

Finch didn’t fully turn his head around, only halfway so Al can see the little grin of amusement forming on his face. A little chuckle escaped his lips, causing his chest to pulse along before he continued, “Not really. But it has a nice ring to it”

Albert takes a few steps closer towards the metal bars, leaning his body on it like what Finch is doing. Now he can clearly see the half burnt cigarette on Finch’s hand. Al tries to make eye contact with him, but Finch is purposely turning his head the other way and giving Albert his head full of blond curls.

“You came back” Finch suddenly said, voice hushed and low.

“Of course I came back” Albert replied, “You didn’t think I’d fully leave like that, did’ja?”

“Well, no. It’s just that you seemed so hellbent on going to college”

Albert slowly nods at that, moving his gaze towards the streets below like the other boy. They sit in the silence for a few minutes. Hearing different vehicles pass by the street below them and honking from the distance.

“Finch, I’m so sorry I left ya like that” Albert suddenly started, fully turning his face towards him. He couldn’t find a way to word it and so he resorted to just telling him the truth. Finch stays quiet to let him continue, “I was an idiot to let ya go that easily and all because I was selfish”

“You weren’t actually being selfish” Finch said, smiling a little at his words, “You did it because you wanted to. And it wasn’t hurting anyone anyways”

“It did. It hurt you”

Finch turns his head towards Albert. Now their eyes are looking into each other closer than before. The closest they’ve ever been since their breakup. A mixture of unsaid emotions made the gaze feel so intimate and it terrifies Al a bit. 

“I hurt myself trying to get you to stay” Finch said softly. His next words got stuck in his throat. He gives his brain a few seconds to focus with a sigh out of his mouth and dragging his gaze away from Al, “I knew you never wanted to get that engineering degree in the first place which is another reason I didn’t want you to go. But at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and not mine. I lashed out on you and said you were selfish but… I was the one that was being selfish”

Finch turns his eyes back towards Al, his face looks more sorrowful than before, “I’m sorry”

A small smile formed on Al’s face, tilting his head to the side by a few inches, “It ain’t your fault for knowing me more than I know myself”

They leave the conversation at that for the time being. Letting the streets below fill the void of their silence. Both boys focusing their gaze towards the view they got from this height they’re on again. Finch and Albert left speechless at each other’s words.

Albert’s hands unconsciously reach up to his forehead, itching to pick a pimple like earlier. His next words almost got stuck in his throat but he was able to pull through just enough to get to his point, “Well, at the end of the day we uhh… we both fucked up. Fucked our relationship, that’s for sure-”

“Stop picking on your pimples, Al” Finch casually said. The surprise look on Al’s face got Finch to side eye him with a giggle.

Al pulled his fingers away, stuttering in his movements but still continued on his words with more confidence, “What I’m trying to say is… I want to try again as long as you’re willing to”

There was a good few seconds of silence that Finch used to just stare at him. Albert could only wonder what he’s thinking about inside that head, “So we just… what? Forget the breakup ever happened? Move back in together? You know I can’t just do that, right?”

“That’s not what I mean. We don’t need to rush things. I know you can’t do that” Albert said, “Just… let me start by making it up to you? Whatever you want. Just name it”

Finch didn’t respond instantly, letting the silence between them linger for a few more minutes. But it’s deeply agonizing to Albert’s ears. A blank space of two eyes locked in a gaze, and one is obviously dying to get out of it.

“Please, say something” Albert begged. Hands suddenly reaching back up to his face to pick on his pimples again.

With a free hand, Finch reaches towards Al’s hand on his face. He pulls it down to the bars, holding it in place to make sure it doesn’t repeat its mistakes again. The grip was firm, but warm and calming to Albert’s soul. It made him go blank for a good few seconds from being so touch deprived of Finch’s soft hands. He retains his sense of reality when their eyes finally meet again.

With a little smile forming on Finch’s face, he finally answers, “I’d like that very much”

[lovelyirony]

Hmm Im just drinking some Respect Rhodey Juice tonight and was wondering if you would write smth about his journey/struggles of life and ppl who doubt him (and then eat their words when he looks fabulous and kicks ass)

A lot of people know Tony Stark’s story. They know that he considers Rhodey to be the best person in the world. He was in ROTC training, Tony made fun of him, but they ended up bonding over engineering and some inside joke at MIT.

They don’t know the whole story.

So here it is.

Rhodey grew up in a relatively nice household in Philadelphia. He still considers some aspect of that to be home, no matter if he hasn’t lived there since high school.

He remembers his dad’s low humming on Sunday mornings when he was a kid, the way he smiled at him.

“Hey Jimmy,” he would say quietly. “Wanna surprise mama with breakfast?”

Mama acted surprised every single time, even if every Sunday she got breakfast on a tray. Rhodey would grin brightly up at his mother and clamber into her bed to steal the “extra” piece of bacon.

(His dad cooked three slices, and saved one for his son.)

He remembers that his sister Jeannette was born when he was four years old, and he did not appreciate having a sister.

“You have to be a good role model for her, sugar,” Mama had told him. She was tired from the hospital, and had handed Jeannette to Dad. “She needs a good big brother.”

Rhodey doesn’t get why his mom is so insistent on that, having a good big brother. It isn’t until he’s eight and Mama’s own older brother comes asking for a car or some money for his new business that he understands that Mama had a very different sort of life. One that they don’t talk about.

So he grabs his dollar and walks his sister to the corner store and gets her a popsicle that dribbles down her chin. She got watermelon flavor.

“Thanks Jim,” Jeannette says, grinning. “You’re the best!”

He vows to always be the best for her.

Always.

Including an academic example. He scores excellently on his tests, enough to catch the notice of the private education institution. They send a nice lady to talk to Mama and Dad about the possibility of him learning there instead of his regular school.

They agree. Rhodey doesn’t exactly want to go, but gets that this is an opportunity.

The school is nearly all-white. That’s...weird. They look at him differently, ask weird questions. He keeps his head down, focuses on studying. He doesn’t realize it yet, but these people have never had to worry about their race.

He’s still a good student. He’s in the top ten, and people whisper and say that it’s because he’s black.

He stares them down and asks if they have a problem with the color of skin he has.

They stammer out a no, but he knows. He knows that they think that he’s gotten all sorts of advantages, and some will never believe that his success is merit-based. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, and he comes home angry.

“Be better,” Mama tells him, smoothing her hand over his face. “You know you’re better than what they always say. You just gotta keep going.”

-

It’s around this time that they go to the Franklin Institute.

And it’s there that he gets introduced into flight travel and falls in love.

He wants to know how planes work. He wants to know why they use some materials but not others, how it works.

“You could go into the Air Force,” his dad chuckles one night.

“Are you gonna be a pilot?” Jeannette asks, looking up from her toys. “You’d be a good pilot.”

“Maybe,” he tells them. “Maybe.”

The military is his best bet.

Come high school, he starts training immediately. He’s a good kid, all things considered. He follows orders well, is intuitive to what comes next, and his officer lets other officials know that this kid will be a good guy.

Assuming, of course, that they let Rhodey into a position of power. He wants to be a good pilot, he wants to have a good job that’s kind of safe.

He also needs to figure out college. He knows he needs a college degree, needs something to show that he is who he says he is.

Rhodey gets a full ride to MIT. His dad sighs and looks at him.

“Son, I need to talk to you...”

“I know I can do this,” Rhodey says determinedly. “I know that I can do a college education, I know I can prove others wrong, and--”

“I know that,” his father says. “But really...Boston?”

His mother laughs for a long while, and makes her husband promise to visit their son, even if they do have to voluntarily go to Boston.

When they move him in, they’re greeted with one Tony Stark chasing after a robot who has grabbed a broom and is wreaking havoc in the apartment.

“Hi,” Tony heaves. “Sorry to be meeting you all like this, I sincerely did mean to be presentable. I’m Tony Stark, nice to meet you.”

His parents are scared of Tony, all things considered. He’s a kid with too much influence on the world. If he says one wrong thing...Rhodey’s finished.

Rhodey holds no such fear because Tony is standing in mismatched socks and chasing after a robot.

When his parents leave and his teenage sister actually gives him a hug, he’s left in the room.

“You want pizza?” Tony asks, blinking. “I’m ordering a pizza.”

They sit together and eat pizza that has too much grease on it, and Tony asks all about Philadelphia. He’s never traveled there, and wants to know if people really do run up the stairs like in the movie Rocky.

Rhodey answers yes, unfortunately, a lot of tourists do that.  Tony laughs.

He talks about New York, everything that people get wrong or right about it.

Then they decide to compare class schedules, and it turns out they have a lot of the same classes.

Rhodey likes being friends with Tony. He’s an easy guy to fall into friendship with. He’s not expecting anything from him, just that he likes some food and tells Tony to knock it off if he’s being annoying.

ROTC training is still going well. Tony makes fun of the uniform and teases him, but also helps make sure his pants are ironed in time.

“I swear to god if I told anyone you were an Iron-kinda-Man, they wouldn’t believe me,” Rhodey teases him. “Thanks.”

He presses a kiss to Tony’s forehead before he rushes out.

-

The Air Force loves him. He’s in aerodynamic engineering, getting the best grades in the class, and has proven time and time again to be a natural-born leader. His very presence commands attention, and the guys around him respect him quite well.

He’s offered a position after graduation to become a pilot.

He’s flying high.

-

His parents, of course, are proud. They host a party with all their friends and family, and Rhodey truly feels like this is it.

Of course, it’s not easy. Nothing ever is. He has to command men and women, go against what others say. He was one of the first in his unit to advocate for women to be part of the team.

“They’re too emotional,” Kennick had remarked.

“And just who nearly cried because their football team didn’t make it to the Superbowl?” Rhodey asks him. “Because it sure as hell wasn’t your wife or daughter, Kennick.”

The rest of the team howls in laughter, and Rhodey smiles to himself.

Tony is still his best friend. They call each other often, although Tony is busier with the company now. Rhodey acts as a sort of liaison for the negotiations between SI and the military.

Tony sends him care packages that host a wild variety of things, ranging from quite the bottle of Scotch to four different McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys.

“Why the toys?”

“Kids keep leaving them in the SI building after their school tour. I have to do something with them.”

(Rhodey takes pictures of them around the base and nearly compromises a secret mission.

It’s worth it.)

But Rhodey’s life is good. It has its ups and downs, but he got what he wanted. And when he sees the other kids from his school who looked at him weird, the teachers who told him to “aim a bit lower” than his goals, he smiles.

He especially likes to smile to himself when he wakes up next to Tony, who smiles at him like he has all the stars in the world.

[op-peccatori]

pillowtalk (nsfw) | MLQC Victor | Kinktober: October 26th

Prompt:Sleepy Sex || Religion Kink || Mirror Sex 

Here’s my final entry for Kinktober! Just something sweet to wrap it up 🥺

A big, big thank you to our captain on this adventure: @alloveroliver​ 💫

Fandom: Mr Love: Queen’s Choice

Pairing: Reader/Victor

Rating: 18+ 

Word count: 2200

Warnings: explicit sex, oral sex, fluff, cervix brushing/cervical orgasm, 24/7 room service

a/n: im so in love with this man of course I wrote honeymoon sex featuring him. title’s from zayn’s song

in case you want some music with it:

borderz- zayn

dance me to the end of love- the civil wars

“You’re my past, present and future. The love I never expected or even hoped for, and the one that I can't live without. The one that’s become my whole world.”

At first, you think it’s the sound of the waves crashing on the shore that wakes you up. That’s all you hear, the sound so soothing you just want to sink into the bed and never leave.

Then you think it could be the pleasant ache between your legs, a remnant from the night before, that gently drags you out of your deep sleep.

You’re tucked against a firm body, with warm puffs of air in your hair and soft snores accompanying them. You stifle a lazy giggle, a flush making its way up your neck when you take notice of something stiff poking your rear.

Your eyes flutter close and you’re not sure how much time passes, if any at all, before you feel fingers in your hair, gently sweeping strands off your face, nails scraping against your scalp. It almost feels like a sweet dream, feeling the featherlight strokes on your arms, on your thighs, across the soft plane of your abdomen – curious and gentle, and you lean back into the touches keenly. There’s a warmth in your bed; it moves closer to you, it’s lips like clouds on the back of your neck.

“Good morning,” it murmurs into your hair, the hands on your outer thighs slipping up your skin to caress your ass. The little nightdress you’d worn to bed had shifted up to expose your lower body sometime during the night, leaving you vulnerable to teasing touches and ravenous gazes. “Mrs Li.”

You can’t help the way your mouth curves up at the words, the excited skip in your heartbeat; you’re still slightly hazy with sleep as you shift on your pillow, eager to see where this leads. The hand moves back between your legs, this time stroking the soft inner flesh of your thighs before pressing against your sex lightly, stoking the embers deep in your belly with an intimate and familiar touch. Your lips part when you feel butterfly kisses on your jaw, and a hand sneaks under you to cup the breast spilling out of the satin. A thumb swipes over the pebbled nipple, and you feel his warm breath on your shoulder.

Your blood begins to pump with anticipation when you feel his lips on the shell of your ear next, teasing and tracing. You shiver when he leaves open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your spine, starting at the nape of your neck, clever fingers rolling a nipple like it’s a beloved instrument, ready to draw out the intricate melody he never tires of hearing.

“Oh,” you moan softly into your pillow. You feel the hot slickness pooling in your sex, encouraged by the fingers stroking there delicately.

Victor nips at the flesh of your waist, rubbing his cheek against your warm skin. “You’re so warm.” You pout when he pulls away, thinking he’s given up on teasing you for the moment, but then he shifts you around until you’re in the middle of the bed, until your leg is curled over his shoulder and his mouth is between your legs. You’re still lying sideways, his head rests on your lower thigh, and his lips trace your slit before his tongue follows. “Sorry. I couldn't help myself.”

Your breath hitches at the action, and you blink rapidly as his tongue parts your rapidly puffing lips and dips in for a taste. “I-I can see that.”

“Mmm. I think I’ve found a new breakfast favourite.” The measured cadence in his voice has you biting your lip, barely holding in your whimper. “Let me hear you, love.” He continues to knead the round globes of your ass as he recreates a dance you danced the night before, eager to see a repeat performance centred around your pleasure, a feast meant for him and him only.

You murmur things incoherently; it sounds like his name, half a plea and half a whine, a thick fog of pleasure settling in. Your hips rock languidly into his questing mouth, as your hand curls into tousled hair restlessly and tugs.

“Ah, close-close-“

His pleased groan vibrates through you, immediately followed by his lips gently closing around your swollen clit, and with a high-pitched gasp, you come in slow, leisurely waves remarkably similar to the ones you woke up to. It leaves your limbs slack, easing you into a state where you’re not sure you can speak without slurring.

Victor curls around you again, burying his face in your shoulder and tangling your feet together, seemingly sated. You’re ready to fall back into the shadowy embrace of sleep with him when you realise there’s still a hard bulge resting against the swell of your ass. His breathing has almost evened out when you wiggle your rear against him in a tempting invitation. He hums into your neck, pushing your nightdress up further, fingers caressing every inch of skin they could reach.

“Temptress,” he mutters, not able to help the jerk of his hips into yours. You let a soft moan escape you, mouth quirking up at the way his hand flexes on your waist. But, with every intimate moment spent with him, you’re starting to realise that he can no more resist you than the sun can refuse to rise. “I can...I can wait.”

All he needs is a nudge.

“I can’t.”

There’s a noticeable pause before he lifts up onto his elbow, leaning over you until you turn your head and catch his lips in a deep, toe-curling kiss. Your eyes are still heavy with sleep but he’s wide awake, eyes bright and tender on you, something like possessive desire curling through his gaze; it’s as if he’s got his hands on a star that fell from the sky, right into his palms.

Your fingers reach back to brush his erection, and his hand curls around your wrist with dark eyes.

“Ah, ___. Tell me...tell me if you’re in pain,” he says, swallowing heavily, no doubt having flashbacks to the way you rode him last night.

“Victor.” You grind back into his crotch with deliberation. “You should finish your breakfast.” The sound that tears from his throat reverberates throughout your body, and you bring his hand up to your face to press your lips to his palm, letting him see the certainty in your eyes.

“...Very well then. If my breakfast insists,” he says huskily. He presses his forehead to yours for a moment, trying to regain his bearings. “How would it like to be taken?”

It’s ridiculous but your belly clenches all the same, and with a quickly hidden grin you shift to lie on your stomach, bunching your nightdress up under you. You hear the shuddering breath he lets out before he peels his boxers off and pushes your legs apart, wide enough for him to take his place between them. Long fingered hands glide up and down the back of your thighs; it takes a little adjusting, a slight lifting of your hips, a few pumps of his cock before the head can brush your entrance, dipping in and out shallowly, coaxing more wetness out from it while pulling the shroud of sleep off of you.

“I want to feel you inside me, Victor,” you say after turning your head, your cheek pressed into the pillow. “Please don’t tease me.”

But he does.

His response is to push into you with a slowness that robs the breath from your lungs, one hand curled around your waist and the other holding his weight. Inch by inch, achingly slow, like he wants to you feel everything – and you do, including his straining grip on you that belies his seemingly unhurried pace, stopping you from pushing back while he works on sucking bruises into the unmarked slope of your neck, his weight pressing you down into the mattress. He rocks his hips into you, gentle and easy until he bottoms out with a stuttered breath of your name, followed by a deep groan as his length is enveloped by greedy, velvet heat. “Fuck, ___.”

“God, Victor!” You bury your face in the pillow, your knuckles clenched around it, helpless against the way he grinds into you, wanting more of you, taking his time to stretch you out. "More. Please."

“I know, baby.” But he continues to glide in and out smoothly, his patience driving you to madness.

You nearly cry with relief when he finally leans back and pulls your hips up; your chest is pushed firmly against the mattress as his fingers dig into your flesh, and then he starts pounding into you in earnest, quick and hard, turning your brain to mush. All you can do is sob, pushing your ass back into his hips, trying to meet his thrusts. “Oh, please, please, please.”

The sound of flesh hitting flesh has never sounded more titillating. Victor pants into your hair, squeezes your swaying breasts and the edge of obsessiveness in his touch sparks more flames in your belly. He touches you with greed, with need and with so much care it’s a dizzying mess. He fucks you so deep you think you can feel his thick cock in your throat, and if your thoughts were more coherent you’d wonder how he’s this heated up when the sun has barely even come up.

Your eyes are wet with tears, or sweat – probably both.

You have a second of reprieve, to get it together, when he pulls out almost all the way, before slamming back into you; you scream and scream when you feel him deeper than you ever have before, brushing a part of you that builds a different, overwhelming pressure – and everything flashes white, every nerve in your body comes alive as you come around his cock with a force that makes you tremble all over like you’ve been broken into pieces.  

“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you,” he murmurs, and you hold onto those words as your knees still shake. “Just one more.”

Your blinking view changes when he pulls you up all of a sudden, holding you upright against his body as he thrusts up into your core, slowing down as he fucks you through your lingering orgasm. Your head falls back into his shoulder as you hold onto his forearm, nails digging in while the other hand slides up and back into his hair. His kisses are grounding, and you can’t help but respond to them dazedly. 

You can see the sea beyond the balcony doors, barely lit by the predawn light but for once your mind pays no further thought to it, your entire being captured by the cock sliding in and out of you, the thickset arms holding you up and the hand slipping down to your clit. 

“Vi-Victor, please, I can’t-“ 

“Last one, baby. You can.”

For the third time this morning you’re the wave crashing on the shore with unstoppable force, leaving ruined things in its wake as it slips away. Victor’s groan is sweet in your ears, his cum spilling into you a comfort, a satisfying conclusion. He likes that, you’ve realised. Something about the sight of his seed leaking out of your slit brings out that primal satisfaction in his eyes. It suits him.

For a minute, or maybe ten, you stay on his lap, quaking through the aftershocks. He whispers sweet praises into your skin, sweeter nicknames and promises of eternal love and something that registers at once – more sleep. Your ear is pressed against his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart, calming down along with it. He lays you down gently and you reach out for him again, drawing him into your arms as you both try to steady your breaths. You swipe his sweaty bangs away from his forehead, sweeping him into a deep, languid kiss. 

“Good morning, Mr Li,” you purr against his cheek, finally feeling more...human. You feel his little smile, catch a glimpse of his flushing cheeks before he buries them in the pillow. You press closer to him with a content hum. “I love you, my gorgeous husband.” Your needy husband, you think with a smile he doesn’t miss when he turns his head to observe you, in all your sweat glory.

“And I love you, my gorgeous wife,” he returns, surprising you. He continues to just look at you, and you’re struck by how content he looks, with one side of his hair still sticking up, his shoulder mottled with blushing bruises and his eyes lighter than you’ve ever seen them; your cheeks flush at how utterly besotted he looks, certain that your expression mirrors his. You give in to the urge to kiss him again, soft and swift. “I don’t think I’m going to let you out of bed today.”  

“But what will we do in bed all day?” you ask in feigned confusion, pulling back to stretch leisurely, completely aware of the way his eyes linger on your chest, on the slope of your neck, on the arch of your back.  “Won’t you get bored?” A breathless giggle bursts from your throat when his arms slither around you and he plants another kiss on your waiting mouth. 

“You could get some more sleep while I order our second breakfast,” he suggests. “I was thinking pancakes.” You nearly doze off while he calls up room service, soothed and sated as you watch the sun settle in its place, the water that looked so dark before now an inviting blue. You hear Victor hang up and scoot closer, pulling the soft sheets up to cover you both.

“I ordered extra syrup.” A quick glance at his pleased smile is more than enough to give you an idea of why he wants that extra syrup. You wish you were fast enough to click a picture.

“Mhm, that sounds lovely,” you say around a startling yawn. “I’ve always thought your skin would pair perfectly with syrup.” 

He doesn’t even blink.

“Well, as you once put it – I am quite a snack,” he says with a perfectly straight face, contrasting greatly with your gaping one, which you’re quick to get under control.

“Well,” you drawl in a perfect imitation, trying to suppress the fond smile threatening to break out at the sight of his smug one. You’d said that to Goldman, when Victor was definitely not around to hear. Goldman’s not a snitch, and your husband can be sneaky. “I was wrong.” 

As predicted, his eyebrow twitches just the slightest, though he pretends to be unfazed. “Were you?” 

“Mhm.” You rise up to crawl over his body, straddling his taut waist as you lean over him; he reaches up to tuck back the hair that spills over your shoulder in soft waves. You lace your fingers with his, pecking his temple, his cheeks, the corners of his mouth until he softens and melts into the press of your mouth to his. Your tone lowers conspiratorially. “You, my love, are the whole feast.” 

“Am I?” The adorable dust of pink across his cheeks gives him away, and he has nowhere to run with your arms bracketing his head, and the lovesick yet hungry look in your eyes. But the tiny smile tugging at his mouth tells you he doesn't mind at all, that he's ready for you to shower him with all your affection. 

“Yes, darling – and I’m still hungry.”  

[pinkbutterfly84]

48 Hours of Hell - Happy's POV

H - Sly where is the Doc? I wanted to say bye before I head out

S - um he's gone Happy, took Walts car think he had an errand to run

H - oh ok thanks Sly, have a good night oh and by the way you were amazing today in that plane

S - thanks Happy it was a difficult case but we did it, never going back to Chernobyl again though

Happy laughed as she walked out the garage, as she got in her truck she sent a message to Toby

'Hey Doc, Sly said you had some stuff to do call me when your home'

A few hours later Happy was home tinkering on an old engine keeping one eye on her phone, she hadn't heard from Toby and it has been 3 hours since she left the garage. She picked up her phone and called him, it went straight to answerphone

H - hey doc where are you, Sly said you were running errands but even you can't take 3 hours. Call me back

A couple of hours later Happy was shattered it had been a busy day they'd been to Chernobyl, saved the world from another Chernobyl and now the dipstick who called himself her boyfriend was awol and she was starting to worry old habits had kicked in. She would dump his arse so quickly if he was gambling again. She called him again and it went straight to voicemail again!

H - Dumbass where the hell are you i swear if you are gambling again im gonna kick your arse so far you will no longer be the only member of the team not to have visited Chernobyl. You better have a good explanation at breakfast and your buying so don't be late.

Happy went to bed fuming ready to rip Toby a new one in the morning.

The next morning Happy arrived at Kavalskis and sat in thier usual booth, Toby was late which was unusual for him, since he slept through thier first date he always picked her up or arrived early, she knew he did it so she would never feel like she did in that restaurant again. Which she would of thought was sweet if she wasn't already so pissee at him.

Happy phoned him, straight to voicemail again

H - where the hell are you Doc and why is your phone dead? I'm giving you 20 more minutes otherwise I will meet you at the garage and kick your arse there

20 minutes went by, she gave him another 10 and spent it planning all the ways she could hurt him but it was really a distraction from thinking about the reality of if he'd gone back to a casino and got himself hooked on roulette or worse beaten up by loan sharks. Happy made her way back to the garage on her bike, she walked in and threw her helmet down

H - is that hat wearing dipstick here

......................................................................................

Happy walked out the garage tears streaming down her face. She had never felt like this before she couldn't get the look of heartbreak and confusion on Tobys face off her mind.

She sat in her truck luckily she had parked it in a unlit quiet area of the road. She let it all out, she wasn't a crier but she had never felt like this before Toby was the first person she truly loved and let herself be loved. She knew he would would be hurt when he found out she was married but thought she would sit down with him alone and told him the full story, sure he would be upset but he would understand. Having to turn down his proposal, tell him at the same time and do it publicly was something she has never thought would happen.

She needed to collect herself, calm down and go back and talk to him alone.

Was Toby ever going to forgive her, what happens if he turns to gambling, what happens if he leaves her for good. She was used to people leaving her but she never had anyone she loved leave her it would break her.

Suddenly someone knocked on the window, she wiped her face and rolled the window down a touch. Walter stood the other side looking very uncomfortable

H - hows Toby?

W - drowning his sorrows in tequila refusing to talk to anyone. Why did you refuse his proposal?

H - what the hell Walt im not accepting his proposal with such a huge secret hanging over our heads. I'm going back in to tell him everything in s minute

W - Happy please you can't not yet, not until we have a solution so I can stay in the country. He loves you so much he will want us to divorce and I wil have to leave the country and Scorpion will split up

H - are you going to make me chose between the man I love and my family?

W - no I'm just asking for some time to come up with a solution so we are all happy

H - fine but I won't lie to him and I won't stop him looking if he finds out he finds out. I am going yo marry him and I won't build our relationship out of lies and mistrust

W - ok Happy, why don't you go home and sleep ill look after Toby and tomorrow you can talk things out im sure tomorrow Toby will feel differently

H - I'm not sure Walt I've never seen him look so broken, you have to promise me you wont let him out on a gambling bender he stays here or you go home with him

W - you have my word

Happy rolled the Windows up turned over the ignition and went home, she cried herself to sleep and slept on and off until Cabe called with an urgent case.

.....................................................................................

Happy followed Toby and Sly out of the garage and caught up with Toby

H - hey doc

T - hey Hap, look im really tired I don't think I've slept in well over 48 hours can we talk tomorrow?

H - I know doc I was gonna ask if you were coming back to mine, you can sleep and we can talk in the morning

Toby looked at Happy, it hurt her that he didn't immediately say yes he was always bugging her to stay over or her to stay at his but she liked a few nights a week on her own, gave her chance to think evaluate and she supposed keep some sort of distance and independence. The fact he wasn't sure about staying over shows how hurt he is.

H - come on you know my bed is much more comfy then yours

T- ok Hap but I have 101 questions for the morning

Happy hoped up into the truck as Toby walked around and got in

H - I know you have questions Doc but as I said I can't answer them all now but I will I promise

Toby leant his head back on the head rest and sighed

T - I know but you gotta know how much this is killing me

Happy didn't answer she drove them both home i silence. When they got home they both headed straight to bedroom getting unchanged they both got into bed. Toby sat up slightly as Happy lay on his chest with her arm over his stomach, she could feel he was uncomfortable and that was something she had never felt before.

T - I need to ask why, why keep it from me I get you wont tell me who but st least tell me why the secrecy

H - when we were friends it didn't seem appropriate, then as we got closer and closer I got scared, scared you wouldn't understand scared you would leave and then it got harder and harder to bring it up as the consequences git more real the more I fell for you

T - Happy you must know it would take a hell of a lot more then this for me to leave you, I have never loved anyone like I love you, your my world and I wanted to spend thd rest of my life with you

H - wanted to? Does that mean you dont anymore

T- of course not i want to live every day with you but we need to get over this first before we can plan our future

H - I know Doc i really sm sorry I couldn't bare the thought of you leaving me too

Happy coluld feel the silent tears dropping onto Tobys naked chest

T - that will never happen, you can't get rid of me that easily but im not going to lie this is going to take some time and I will be looking into who you are married too

H - Toby!

T - look if you wont tell me you leave me no choice

H - fair enough but I will tell you soon I promise I just need some time

T - I love you Happy and im sorry I said I rescinded the proposal when we get this mess sorted I plan to get back down on one knee

H - ok Doc and I promise no more secrets when you do, I love you too

T - I'm knackered now, sleep now talk more tomorrow

H - I never thought I would hear a time when you want to delay talking

Happy leaned up and they kissed softy

H - night Doc

Happy lay there listening to Toby sleeping what a 48hours, she needed to sort this mess out with Walt and she just hoped Toby would leave the investigation work to real detectives and give her the time she needed......