#IM SCUM! IM WASTE! IM WHAT YOU WANT!

[maddogmp3]

sotd! happy release day to lovejoy's 3rd ep!!!

[duodusk]

portrait of a blank slate & scum are SO up my alley for music ive been listening to them nonstop

[the-bonfires-ember]

ive been thinking about that thing people say about mental illness. yknow, 'its not a part of your personality' 'dont make it your identity' etc

but when you have a personality disorder, that doesnt really make sense anymore.

which makes my feelings on cluster b pride flags a little conflicted. coz, sure, it is fundamentally a part of your personality and certainly shapes your identity, but something about pride flags has always been off to me. perhaps especially as a person with aspd.

now, sure, on the one hand i get it. theres something appealing about having that kind of validation that you arent alone, especially when you are constantly masking and shifting who you are to fit the situation best.

we might have antisocial personality disorder but we are still, at our core, social creatures. we still desire community, we're just also afraid of it.

so yeah, a banner of community and others 'like us' seems fair enough, right?

BUT

theres still something... off to me about it. what it was, exactly, only came to me after a discussion with my partner about DID and PluralKit - yeah i know, im diving into plural drama now, lfg i guess

they showed me an infographic about the process of DID recovery which showed the progression from very disconnected and separated identities to a more blended 'final fusion' (a term they take issue with but thats a different story). i said that PluralKit must be confusing for people on the later ends of the spectrum they were showing me because, at that point, how do you tell who is blending with who? when the lines are blurry, how do you know who to tag yourself as? it seemed like an inhibitor to recovery if you were constantly cutting yourselves off from each other. (this is not me saying anything one way or the other about plurals and recovery in DID or whatever the fuck else, im just using this as an example. stfu i dont care about your opinions on any of this so dont waste your breath)

i think my feelings on aspd flags is somewhat similar. coz i mean, they are pride flags, right? and i think if you are taking pride in being aspd then you are far more likely to lean into your symptoms, and i think thats a slippery slope to go down and has just a very 'anti-recovery' vibe, if you know what i mean.

with that all said, i also very much think that if you dont want to recover, you dont have to. i dont think you can force anyone to recover and i dont think you should even try to. recovery is fucking shit and its hard and if you arent ready for it, you are just going to hurt whoever you are trying to make recover.

but i also think that you can have that opinion, whilst also being a voice for recovery, and be against 'anti-recovery' thinking.

because look, like it or not aspd is a fucking disorder. and at some point that becomes unhelpful or it wouldnt be a disorder. symptoms of aspd are debilitating and pretending otherwise that helps nobody. especially with all the 'all pwASPD are evil' scum out there.

so yes, i think the pride flags are... unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. but what about the other stuff? the creatures alla tbh creature and the plushiedreadful rabbit? (i think both of those designs suck btw but thats not the point)

idk those feel like they are in a different category. theres not really a sense of pride in those, more a sense of comfort. again, community, but also a sort of softness(??) that the pride flag things seem to miss - especially when they are like 'vampire aspd' or 'evil aspd' or any of the other bullshit things ive seen out there. i guess they are also just way more 'mental illness' coded than pride flags are.

pride flags have always been a 'we're here and theres nothing wrong with us' kind of thing. but the creatures and the bears are more lighthearted and sort of making fun of the conditions a little bit. highlighting symptoms and coping mechanisms. just look at the imocreature - specifically the worm one which is my favourite - and the way its able to be so pathetic looking and cute. its not meant to be cool or badass or whatever else, its just a lil guy that gets sad without supply.

which, yknow, relatable.

[i-am-a-l0st-gh0st]

I'm scum I'm waste, im what you want- Scara X gn!reader part 3

"I'm not your love scaramouche ."

T/W- Jealousy, begging, angst, comfort in a way, ending an abusive relationship.

The rain wasn't giving up any time soon and neither was scaramouche. He wanted you back, he loved you still. Even after you left him. He wants you back, but it's too late.

About 3 months after the two of you broke up you had happily moved on and now had another boyfriend, kazuha. Scaramouche however was still caught up in the past, hanging on to the bit he remembered of you. Trying to relive the past but in a better light.

Scaramouche was now on your doorstep, dragging water up onto your porch. When you opened the door you weren't sure how to respond. He was stood there like a lost puppy, should you let him inside? Should you leave him out there? What were you to do? "Y/N!"

You still just stood there unsure of what to do. "Scara…"

"Y/n, my love please. Come back."

Another voice came around the corner. "Love, was all the fuss ab-, y/n who's this."

"Kazuha, he was just leaving."

Scaramouche was a little hurt by that. of course he wasn't leaving, he wasn't leaving without you. He needed you, he needed you right next to him, to be his partner once again.

"I'm not leaving without you."

"Yes you are!" You were starting to get pissed now. He was becoming increasingly frustrating.

He grabbed your wrist just trying to get you closer to him. Luckily Kazuha saved you just in time. "Do not touch her." Kazuha was glaring holes into scaramouches head. It made him retract, almost like a cat.

You slammed the door in Scara's face. You were done with his bullshit, done with him. But he wasn't done with you, he began banging on the door, he just wanted to talk. To try and win you back, the prove he still loved you. He had lost all his chances though. The amount of times you at dealt with his 'bad days', his temper* his drinking issue was too many to count.

It had been 2 years you put up with him and now you were officially done.

"I'll never hurt you again my love, I swear."

"I'm not your love, scaramouche." You spat.

[yandere-romanticaa]

HOLY SHIT WEEBSINSTASH GOT THE POLICE ON ME OH SHIT IM ON THE FBI'S MOST WANTED LIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Stop. Please just fucking stop. I don't know who you are but get a life. For fucks sake, go get a fucking life and stop bothering random strangers on the internet.

Do you have any idea how many of your asks I've had to delete? Do you have any idea how many accounts I had to block because you won't stop harassing this person and somehow me by sending me these bizarre asks? Have you no shame? Have you no dignity? Is your life truly so sad, pathetic and filled with absolutely nothing to do other than to send me these asks, over, and over, and over, and over again? How much of a loser are you? How much of your time are you planning on wasting? I'm disgusted with you. And I'm a little disgusted with myself for even bothering to reply to you but I can't. You are filth. You are a bottom of the barrel human being and I pity you. The fact that someone so lonely, someone so utterly devoid of any purpose exists is appalling to me.

Leave me alone. Leave weebsintrash alone too. Stop sending these asks to people, not just me. Go away you scum. Crawl back into the hellish hole you crawled out of and stay there. Eat glass. Be grateful you're not looking me straight in the eye because who knows what I'd do to you.

[seiun-glows]

Songs/lyrics that im listening to because I feel emotions physically and not mentally anymore- and idek what to call my current situation Ive gotten myself into-again

“And I’ll say ‘fuck you’, cause I know if I dont, I’ll probably say, something stupid and true.”

“You kiss me like it was your job, so tender and carefully, teeth before tongue. Not in the way that the romantics do, but with the grace of a workplace HR dispute.”

“ I’m scum, I’m waste, I’m what you want.”

“Was I not good enough? Worthy of being loved? Were you ashamed or just afraid? Well when Ive given up, and all is said and done, will you just look the other way?”

“You can be all I got, whats the difference? Hennessy and a lot of bad decisions, all I know, all I know, is bad bad descions. You can be all I got, whats the difference? You and me and a lot of bad decisions, all I know, all I know, is bad bad descions.”

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

god im gonna sound like an ass but npd culture is scum by lovejoy. like, with the whole duality of “im scum, im waste” (narc crashes, having moments where you know, objectively, youre kinda a bad person in some capacity) and “im what you want” (narc like. highs? ig? viewing yourself as desireable and that the other person wants to be with you)

im absolutely reading too much in to it (its probs just npd culture cause i like the song lol)

-🐢

.

[iworshipsappho]

IM SCUM IM WASTE IM WHAT YOU WANT

[snailvee]

IM SCUM, IM WASTE, IM WHAT YOU WANT

[blub-blub-bish]

im listening to the lovejoy's lollapalooza full performance, on 'scum', i think its hilarious how its like :

will: im scum, im waste im what

lovejoy: YOU WANT👹

[maddogmp3]

DONT YOU KNOW NO ONE GETS WHAT THEY CAME HERE FOR?

THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS IS PAVED WITH ROWS AND ROWS OF VERY TEMPTING PARKING SPACES.

WHATS THIS? THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS NOW?

SHE HOPES TO GOD THAT I JUST CHOKE

IM SCUM! IM WASTE! IM WHAT YOU WANT!

THEY'LL SELL YOU THE ROPE BY WHICH YOU'LL HANG YOURSELF

[saikenakoego]

Said I was gonna do this later so here I am!!

I know nobody asked me but I'm gonna do it anyway. Because who's gonna stop me? Someone asking?

Hah!!

Im gonna do this with ALL my OC's. Because I can, and because I love all my little creations!

Starting with my currently favorite vampire gal!

Samantha Morales, a.k.a. Sammy Moors

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv This gal vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

With direct answers from the girl herself, for extra cringe roleplay. My favorite.

1. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? If you have multiple, who's your favorite?

SM: I do sometimes. To try and remember what it felt to be human.

...

My favorite is my little green bunny. His name is Jacques.

2. Can you take care of a plant? What about a pet? Or a child?

SM: I can. But how well I'd do, can't tell. Being undead messes with your head a lot...

3. Can you describe your love interest?

SM: I could if I had one. Or if I could feel love. Or anything at all.

4. Do you look good in red?

SM: ...

SM: I prefer pink.

5. Speech, speech, speech! Will you give one? And what about?

SM: No. That kind of self-centered talk is for bloodsucker scum. You wouldn't catch me dead doing something as pretentious as that. They think they're so high and mighty, that they're superior to everything else. That they can take what they want and we'd never do anything about it. But they're nothing but insects, hiding away like cowards in the shadows while feeding off others like leeches. Disgusting and pathetic, weak little creatures unable to keep living by themselves. Parasites. Just the sight of them makes me want to rip them apart limb by limb, making them scream in agony as the life they've stolen leaves their body drop by drop, scurrying away and pleading for mercy as I crush their every bone to--

6. Who will you take advice from? And who WOULDN'T you take it from?

SM: I don't think anyone can really give me any advice that matters, but if I had to choose... Maybe Johnny. Kid's got a good head on his shoulders when it comes to the supernatural. Not like I need it though.

SM: But I'd never take advice from Silver. Too impulsive, and I already have me to worry about.

7. Describe yourself in three words

SM: Monster. Disgusting. Unsightly.

8. Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate you?

SM: I hate puzzles. Wastes of time.

9. Do you empathize with non-sentient things?

SM: More than empathize, I envy them. I'm already unable to feel anything, at least they get to not think about it either.

10. What age do you want to be the most right now?

SM: I wanna be 13 again. Go back to when everything was okay...

11. You won the lottery. Spend, or save?

SM: I dunno. Maybe spend? We do need more silver rounds...

12. Do you like romance in the books you read?

SM: I... I think I used to like it? I can't recall...

13. Name one thing your parents taught you.

SM: Family is everything.

14. Would you agree with the term 'guilty pleasure? Do you have any?

SM: I won't give in to it. I won't, no matter how good it smells. How delicious its crimson gleam looks. How it makes my mouth water at the mere thought of it, I won't. I won't. I won't I--

15. What would you consider a waste of time, other than school and work?

SM: Anything that's too complicated. I have all the time in the world, but every second I waste is another second they live.

16. If money wasn't a limit, what would you wear?

SM: I'n fine with my outfit. I think Silver would be someone better to ask this to.

17. Do you like children?

SM: No. They wound too frequently.

18. Kissing: Tongue or no tongue?

SM: No kissing. That's disgusting.

19. Do you study before tests?

SM: I haven't done any tests in 2 years.

20. What do you like that nobody else does?

SM: Rare meat in burgers isn't too bad... Don't tell Johnny I said that.

21. What would it take for you to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

SM: Being a bloodsucker. Even if I can't feel anything, that's an immediate deal breaker.

22. Do you like being called pet names? Do you call others pet names? What's your go-to?

SM: I don't, but people have been calling me Sammy or Moors for so long that it feels weird when they don't do it. Old habits die hard, I guess. The only person I have a nickname for is Silver, and that's because he insists on being called Silver.

23. Stability or novelty?

SM: I've had my fill of novelty for a lifetime...

24. Honesty or charity?

SM: Honesty.

25. Safety or possibility?

SM: Safety.

26. Talent or effort?

SM: Effort.

27. Forgiveness or vengeance?

SM: VENGEANCE.

28. Would you date a fixer-upper?

SM: I'd rather not date anyone right now.

29. What recurring dreams do you have?

SM: The blood, it's everywhere... I'd rather not talk about it.

30. What would you do if you knew it would be forgiven?

SM: I... I'm not gonna answer that.

oc asks that reveal more than you think

Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?

Ask them to describe their love interest.

Do they look good in red?

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

Do complex puzzles intrigue or frustrate them?

Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

What age do they most want to be right now?

They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?

Do they like romance in the books they read (or in the book they’re in)?

Name one thing their parents taught them.

Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

What would they consider a waste of time– other than school or work?

If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?

Do they like children?

Kissing: tongue or no tongue?

Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?

What do they like that nobody else does?

What would it take for them to break up with someone? What would be the last straw?

Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What’s their go-to?

Stability or novelty?

Honesty or charity?

Safety or possibility?

Talent or effort?

Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

Would they date a fixer-upper?

What recurring dreams do they have?

What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

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[i-am-a-l0st-gh0st]

★Masterlist★

- Albedo

Underneath the Stars- "I heard you talking in your sleep."-\

Brainrot- Fluff

-Scara

im scum, im waste, im what you want- 'I thought I told you not to smile at other men.'

Part 2

Part 3

What am I gonna do- "Why are you asking me such stupid questions?"

Hold me closer and I'll hold back- "Same old heart with the same old tricks, hold me closer and I’ll hold back"

He says everything I need to hear- And its like i couldn't ask for anything better

If im dead to you why are at the wake?- Cursing my name, wishing I'd stayed

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater- and if may just take your breath away

I've got this problem- and i tried to tell you

-Alhaitham

A soulmate who wasn't meant to be- 'Was our relationship just a joke to you...?'

All the stars aligned- "And what name should I put?"

When I'm not with you think of me always- "Everything is alright just hold on tight, that's because I'm a god old fashioned lover boy"

In front of all your stupid friends- "If you kissed me would it be just like i dreamed?"

Brainrot

When I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave- “Cause I loved you, I swear I love you… Till my dying day…”

-Kaeya

One last time- 'Can you just kiss me? One last time? That's all I ask...'

I'll do anything you ask of me- My fingers pressed until their sore

-Tighnari

Wandering in the woods- "It's alright Collei, they should be okay. You did good."

-Xiao

Falling asleep on him- 'He was rarely shown affection and was very unsure what do to when he received it.'

Drunk under a street light- "But I knew you, dancing in your Levis drunk under a street light"-

You said you love me exactly the way I am- "Guess I must be satisfactory you said you love me exactly the way I am"

Show me how you care- Show me how you smile

Meet me at our spot- Baby, are you coming for the ride?

Childe

In your arms tonight-. 'You hadn't been hugged by anyone like this in years, so of course some tears were shed.'

Hey I miss your stupid face- Get back to my place, I need you. It hurts so much to wait

I never meant to hurt you though- I pushed a lot back but I can't forget it

Neuvillette

But I didn't need to be stronger I needed to be saved- You wanted nothing more than to hold him

And that's why I love fall- I love you y/n don't you forget that

With eyes as dead as mine- "Oh, what a blessing to meet someone like you."

Could you ever imagine where our lives could be- Luckily you saw something in me, something I couldn’t see

Ayato

But now he's playing with your head- "God will you stop being so clingy!"

They never know what you know- "It's not that simple but they won't seem to notice"

All the leaves are brown- And the sky is grey

Kaveh

All this over a kiss- "You're Y/N, my Fiance!"

Clung on tightly, like parentheses- "And every sentence that a spoke began and ended with ellipsis"

I wanna be your favourite boy- "I wanna be the one who makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake"

Why don't you love me anymore?- But you say I don't know how to love

Now I'm here with you- And i would like to think you'd stick around

Lyney

I don't know what to do without you- "Please, I'm still the same lyney you fell in love with"

Please hold me close to you- Baby flatline still time to do it too

And i thought you might be mine- In a small world, on an exceptionally rainy Tuesday night

Feeling sick of myself- Guess I'll try to be someone else (trans masc reader)

The breathing exercises hurt- They don't do fuck all

I'll Hide My Chest...- And i'll figure out a way to get us out of here

No alarms and no surprises-Such a pretty house And such a pretty garden

Wait by the door like I'm just a kid- And watch you tolerate it.

Boys don't cry- I would say i'm sorry, if thought that it would change your mind.

I should be over all the butterflies- Im still into you

Secrets i have held in my heart- are harder to hide than I thought

Part 1

Part 2

I'm cutting people out again- I hope to see their faces when I pursue. Haunting you…

I'll hide my chest- And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here.

Wriothesley

Yeah, you made it all alright- Those words were for you and for you alone

Why do I myself dream like this?- "But perhaps its just my stupid hea in the end

We fell in love in October- That's why I love fall

They say it's such a shame, I turned out this way- "The red means I love you."

We listen to a lot of true crime- But it's alright, she'll be fine

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Breaking my back just know your name- Well, some body told me, that you have a boyfriend.

Make sure nobody sees you leave- Tell your friends you're out for a run

Heizou

I can't stop you putting roots in my dream land- Despite being a detective many things about you were still a mystery that he could never figure out.

Thoma

Sweet tea in the summer- "Sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won't tell no other"

You know i wanna be your light- In darkness, How you find me just in time to tell me what I needed to hear.

Kazuha

I don't deserve you, you deserve the world- Every time that i miss you I feel the way you hurt

Diluc

Oh what a blessing to meet someone like you- "With eyes as dead as mine"

Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away- When you get out of bed don't end up stranded

It's always been just him and me together- So I'll bet all I have on

Just one more tear to cry- One tear drop from my eye

Multi

Coming out as Non-binary

You and me, always forever- Fremient, Lyney, Alhaitham

Wherever you go, i'll go with ya- Lyney, Fremient

Gaming

If you're lost you can look and find me- Time after Time

You're just another picture to burn- There's no time for tears

Arlecchino

Date rambles-

My kinda girl- Im down on my hands and knees begging you please baby

Cyno

Cats on the celling- The floor boards are breathing

[daphwritesworld]

https://www.tumblr.com/daphwritesworld/769347840553238528/i-am-still-anon-by-the-way-but-im-stuck-on-the?source=share

You're still taller than Simone Biles, so you've got that going for you! I've got a few inches on you, I'm 5'2" at the start of the day, and I stopped growing in 7th - 8th grade, so first I outgrew everyone, and then I started to become the short one. I took a photo with a bunch of my friends this summer who are all at least 5'6", and I looked like a dwarf. I 100% agree, I would very much like a tall gf, I can't reach the top cabinets in my dorm room right now, and it's just sad.

you know what hell yeah! that actually did make me feel better lmao. no bc i was PISSED bc i was always the front of the line on picture day. we went shortest to tallest and id be so salty about it id just walk to the door and wait for everyone else to get sorted by the teacher. i was NOT playing that game when i already knew the outcome lmao 😂 but yeah no my bestie is 5’7 and her boyfriend is 6’0 so everyone we hang out they have to literally look down to speak to me. if he looks straight ahead he can’t even see me 😭 but yes the tall girlfriend agenda is one that is near and dear to my heart. tbh that’s the only thing i miss about my most current ex…her height. she was a lying, manipulative, and cheating scum bag— who was a waste of my air….but damn she could reach anything and open any jar 😓 it’s enough to make a girl want to break no contact and send a “hey are you up?” text. (THAT’S A JOKE. i actually haven’t contacted her once since the breakup. remember ladies if you dump me once you’ll never get the chance be to dump me again. i will erase you from my life. i have this bitch blocked on everything. even spotify.) anyways this is my official announcement 📣: i am taking tall gf applications !!

[t1redofyourbs]

IM SCUM IM WASTE IM WHAT YOU WANT

that feeling when you don't support the artist but you like the songs

[veiyx]

WANDERER/SCARA - 3