#IM NOT DOING FLESH PRISON AGAIN YOU CANT MAKE ME

[penumbralwoods]

so ive been trying to beat this glass frog for almost an hour and he hasn't shut up the whole time

[forestryfae]

my dumb ass not making the connection that albedo is in fact ridicilously insecure in the sense that he NEEDS to be the smartest guy in the room he NEEDS to one up everyone and most of his motives are based on that. like the first omnitrix copy does start out as "i dont trust that the universes most powerful device should be in the hands of an unworthy human" and all that but atleast a little part of why he did that must also have stemmed from "im gonna make a copy of the omnitrix and ill be great at using it and then azmuth HAS to let me be the bearer of the omnitrix" cus azmuths like "i told you the omnitrix is beyond you" and i didnt realize until now but that actually implies albedo has talked to azmuth about this and tried to convince him to let him wear the omnitrix instead.

he then later makes a copy of the omnitrix again but he uses a real core someone else made and he upgrades it and calls it The Better More Ultimate Omnitrix™ and somehow it is both objectively better (powerful transformations, probably sold a lot of toys) and objectively worse (ultimate transformations looked Bad sometimes, made no sense genetically, and also theres the whole thing where ben had to die to release a bunch of aliens stuck inside the omnitrix becaus ethat makes sense somehow)

he also doesnt come up with the idea of fucking up ben himself he just follows vilgaxs plan idk how thats relevant but it feels relevant

then he copies ben and his heroing to get money. i will admit he didnt fuck up here he did try to fix his mistakes but like. surely he couldve tried something like. becoming an electrician. plumber. programmer. anything actually within his previous skillsets.

but yeah he then copies his old idea and calls his stabilizer an ultimatrix. follows khybers plan. and then tries to steal azmuths brain for reasons im still not sure about. like hes powerhungry for sure but my guy??

he then tries to steal azmuths brain and is really upset when he stops being smart when azmuths brain is returned then he follows evil bens idea then he tries to break into the labs and steal azmuths ideas and knowledge again, claiming azmuth is pondering the universes mysteries and secrets and hoarding them all for himself. like he clearly wants what azmuth has here.

like i definitely think fanon interpretation isnt off when we see him as having a point by not trusting the omnitrix to a child, being angry hes stuck in bens body, him being genuinely smart and genuinely good at things (like when he was pretending to be ben and rook didnt notice)

but i also think its really interesting how he craves being acknowledged and seen as superior and desires to be more powerful and stuff. like idk whats up w that but i def think the "assistant turns evil and betrays mentor and wants to be more powerful" trope works for him i just wish he had more backstory beyond that cus that shit doesnt happen out of nowhere

he clearly wants to be seen as superior and good enough that hes worth being told those secrets and in an effort to be the kind of guy azmuth would trust with that, and would trust with the omnitrix he probably feels entitled to it too somehow. probably a sense of "i did EVERYTHING you asked for and i did it perfectly why arent i good enough" but like the bottom line being hes so reliant on other people accepting and looking at him as good enough and worthy that hell do anything to prove it. hell even mutilate and deform himself if he has to and will gladly bend logic to have the people who want him and look up to him be in the right. (hugh lying to ben and co and it negatively affecting albedo. it wasnt just bens fault)

like he craves azmuth to see him as worthy and useful, and then that turns into betrayal and "im not wrong, YOURE wrong for not accepting me as i was" after hes stuck in a flesh prison he cant really escape, he then manages to both see azmuth as beneath him and above him in a contradicting irony of him being so much better and more evolved than anyone else and especially azmuth, and somehow still needing azmuths superior intellect to be better than azmuth.

idk i didnt catch it as a kid and it didnt occur to me properly until now. wild. but yeah thats part of why i think albedo is so interesting

[frankiefridayyy]

tw vents

ive been feelin kinda ugly lately...

i hardly ever get acne on my face n i have some on my chin n forehead bc i lost my workout headband so my hair gets sweatier now and makes my face get acne

every time i look in the mirror i just look so fat too

i know if i didnt have curves id look so much more like a boy

i want to be healthy

but i dont eat enough even tho i eat what i think is good for three meals a day if i work out any more than i am now i get to an unhealthy weight but if i worked out more id be skinnier but i cant

i thought i grew past this but it turns out that im still doing what people i deeply admire think i should for my body. eat more than usual bc they like thicker thighs. i didnt even realize i didn't like my chest until last year a few months after my abuser left me bc she liked it and so i did too. but i feel so gross now

i just wish i could be healthy and pretty to me but im not

i know most if not all of you will tell me that i am pretty

but i dont think ive ever truly felt pretty to me

i appreciate the compliments of course and they do make me happy

but ive never felt joy from looking at myself

im not sure i will until i get top surgery and lose a lot of weight healthily

i just want to be happy in this flesh prison

i dont even think of this body as mine

i do my best to ignore it

i try not to look in the mirror much

its part of the reason i wear my outfits

the cute clothes help me feel cute even though i never truly do

i think it's part of the reason why i want a partner

when im in love with someone i'll believe most anything they tell me which isnt healthy and im trying to do better but it still happens so i think id believe it if they said i was pretty but then again like i mentioned earlier id just do whatever they thought would be pretty for me

i hate my body

why couldnt i have been one of the naturally skinny trans masc people

im sorry for ranting

im not sure if it even helps me

a not really related thing but i want a partner so badly. i know ive said it a lot but i feel honestly depressed bc of all the unhealthy relationships

i just want a healthy relationship for once

i want someone to love me as much as i love them

that never happens

i need someone i love to actually stay

they never stay

im so heartbroken

but its my fault too

im not sure if i could ever be enough

i try so hard to not hurt the people i love the most

but they're the ones that end up getting the most hurt because of me

what's wrong with me

why cant i have a healthy relationship

i always put everything i can into relationships

they never seem to notice though

its like they expect me to do everything

and they did stuff too

they all put up with me when i messed up

i need someone to love me so much they wont leave unless it's toxic

i just want a health relationship

ive tried so hard

why dont i get one

i want someone to hold me and be able to tell when im sad even if i dont say anything and i want to make someone personalized gifts all the time and they actually appreciate it and i want someone to protect me when i cant do that and i want someone to love me so much

but i dont have that

im scared i never will have someone that loves me like i love them

every relationship that ive had makes me feel unlovable now especially with that person. i put my all into that relationship and she was using me and i didnt even realize

i loved her so much

ive loved every partner ive had so so so much

but i mess up as much as i love them

i dont mean to

i dont understand boundaries and if i do know someone's boundaries it's hard for me to tell if what im doing is okay or not

i just want someone to genuinely romantically love me

is that so much to ask?

[d1ssenter-be-damned]

*opens trenchcoat to reveal several pamphlets with fic tropes on them* What kind of nicities might you be interested in Tumblr user error-is-bae? `<•##>3

well hello there anonymous tumblr user that im fairly certain is one of two people.

listen man i know everyone and their dog has written a fic where gabriel atones for the errors of his ways by throwing himself into rebuilding lust w minos. but i cannot get the concept out of my head

every interp ive seen thus far has minos be angry, yes, but i dont think hes been angry enough. i want him to break. i want him to tear into gabriel like a rabid fucking beast. i want him to grab him by the throat and throw him to the floor hard enough shards of concrete get lodged in his lungs. i want gabriel to scramble back instinctively because he knows hes no match for a prime soul, especially not without his Light but he's not fast enough and then Minos grabs him again and he can't breathe--

and i want him to just go limp. to accept his fate. and minos just gets angrier because he wants him to fight, he wants to revel in the feeling of his bones crunching and listening to him scream but it's not satisfying if he doesnt fight back and he did not waste away in that god forsaken prison watching everything he'd worked so hard to achieve (peacefully! he never wanted a fight, he wanted to thrive, he tried to reason--) be torn down by his own withered hands only for gabriel to rob him of what little gratification he could receive as if he hadn't already taken everything from him. i want him to roar "why won't you fight me?!" as he lifts gabriel by his collar. he wants to see the spirit that gabriel had before (when they were colleagues, friends even, when they would spend their time debating philosophy and literature and enjoying being together), wants to watch it break under his fists--

(and he thinks of the way gabriel looked down at him so long ago, the divine light of the spear held to his throat shining across his armor, the way he had pleaded for some of that previous kindness to return only to feel as the head pierced his skin and dug its way through his flesh, blood curling down his neck in rivulets and pooling in his mouth as he gasped for any semblance of breath he could take--)

and for just a second he thinks of how things could have been so much different if gabriel had a heart. if he was allowed to rule his kingdom in peace, allowed to let his people prosper and grow and have a second chance. and he looks at gabriel, sad and limp and broken in his grip, but hes not broken like a warrior after a valiant fight or a killer after a spree, hes broken like a fledgling bird with clipped feathers pecking at fingers for its own survival, like a child tucked away in a damp street corner waiting for it to be safe to move again, like the people he had helped build a new life in death.

and on one hand it infuriates him because gabriel is the reason he never got to see his people thrive, never got to see his kingdom grow and live and by all means he should despise him for everything hes done

but at the same time he remembers the gabriel from before the Council, remembers their late nights together, remembers the intelligence and the wit and the charm and the kindness they had Beaten out of him, sees how hopeless and faithless he has become

and sees that he has the chance to be better.

but he has to think about it. so he drops gabriel to the ground and watches as he scuttles back and coughs for breath and looks up at him and can practically feel the confusion and disbelief radiating off of him and if he's honest hes not sure hes making the right decision either. so he turns around and stalks away before he has the chance to change his mind.

anygays. i spent way too long writing this out cus im just obsessed with the concept of them growing closer Slowly because obviously minos can never truly forgive him and gabriel cant ever be rid of that Guilt but i do think there's something there to work from. they just have to put in some effort.

[jammyjamster]

@2uselemon asked 4 a list of each event so here it is

The Buried

Arthur’s claustrophobia in the Larson estate mines, him falling down holes, prison pits, the bedrock, this is self explanatory

The Corruption

Horig’s curse mainly, but i’m gonna get a bit character analysis-y (which im not very good at); i think arthur isnt able to maintain relationships well, he’s either too much or too little. he craves human contact, to love and be loved, but he doesnt know how (ie orphaned at a young age, aromantic (not canon but come on) in the 1930s, bella and faroe). that’s what causes him to be deeply codependent with John, to lash out at him but not want him to leave. kinda silly how he’s friends with a fractured entity of a god who stole his eyes and killed his only friend and yet says that he loves him. also ‘you call it madness (but i call it love)’ fits well here

The Dark

Larson’s estate is back again, with the monster that stabbed Arthur. also that pit with that other monster back in season 2. ALSO the fact that he isnt able 2 see

The Desolation

The lighter, fire-roe, but also the complete loss. he has lost everything, all of his closest friends, his eyes and his mind. very desolation-coded to me

The End

Life is loss, everyone around him dying, the fact that HE keeps dying. i mean you can disregard the losing everyone around him and assign that as desolation, but you cant deny that the fact that he has legitimately died OVER and OVER again makes him somewhat End coded

The Eye

Entity took his eyes. he wants to know everything (especially season 1). eyes play a big theme. cmon.

The Flesh

Now THIS was hard to assign, but our lord and saviour The Wager saves us with the ‘its just a body’ with antoine. wooden pinky can also work, but that scene really sells it for me

i forgoy about mr faust,, forgive me…. forgive me…. i forgot about mr faust,,,….

The Hunt

my guy keeps getting hunted by gods and monsters what do you want me to say just listen to the podcast

The Lonely

The bedrock. thats it. also i view The Lonely and The Corruption really close to each other, so just look above for the yearning for love yet not receiving it. oh and the lighthouse i consider that pretty Lonely core

The Slaughter

season 3

The Spiral

The Madness episode, and the dream sequence with Scratch comes first to mind. but literally every episode counts

The Stranger

THIS is a hard one, but if we’re going for the more popularly characterised The Stranger, then i guess?? The King in Yellow’s dancers? they were always very Stranger core to me. But with the lesser utilised characterisation, Arthur being afraid of the unknown also fits.

The Vast

This was the hardest to choose, but after some discussion i feel this somewhat fits. while Arthur 100% doesn’t feel insignificant, the feeling of falling, and the desert in the dreamlands is somewhat Good Enough. i’m still unsure about this however so pls rb/comment if you have any suggestions

edit: I FORGOT ABOUT ARTHUR BEING DEPRESSED ABOUT HIS CHOICES NOT MATTERING IN THE HOTEL EPISODE i think that counts as fear of insignificance

The Web

he’s a massive liar, all of his choices are manipulated by the patreons, being manipulated by John, he can never catch a break. just listen to The Suspects/the castle arc and you’ll see how Web coded he is

THATS ALL god my hand hurts

regarding whether arthur would be able to cause the eyepocalypse

[goblin-enjoyer]

Probably should have stated this sooner but I kinda accidentally slept till 5 pm today(yesterday technically but eh i kinda put off making this post) and I am going to try and stay awake until the next night tomorrow (today). the only way to fix this sleep schedule in the making is to brute force myself to the point where I HAVE to sleep at a normal time. trying to go to bed before my body's ready just causes me to sit around in my bed for several hours until it feels like sleeping, sleep medication only works if go well over the intended dose and even then it barely effects me and while writing this I just realized that I could have put an alarm so I don't oversleep again but I hate alarms and in typical my brain ™ fashion I have already said I was going to do a thing and now I gotta do that thing until I can't do that thing any more or until it is done. and I am really tempted to just cut my losses and set up the alarm and go to bed. this post was originally going to ask for help keeping sane and awake for this punishment of my own making but in typing this out to post it actually got me somewhat out of this mental autism brained prison. I feel my shackaling to my own orders loosening as I find another way and as I dump these thoughts on tumblr. wow so that's the use of tumblr huh? zog me does this feel good. I feel free like the genie at the end of aladdin! the .5 gits who would actually bother to read this crabp don't realize the significance of this. All my life I have been imprisoned by stupid orders from long ago that my robot bloody zoggin brain doesn't realize aren't rules like gravity where you have to obey them or else you shut down. it's why I can't watch streams because if I get caught in a bit, I will be stuck in that bit until someone tells me to stop. It's happened before, I got so tired from doing it that at the end I was internally begging for someone to put me out of my misery so I wouldn't have to do it anymore. when a mod finally told me to stop, I don't even remember if i said "thank you" before i quickly turned off the sleep and went to pass out from overexertion. I will have to research this method of "internal law breaking" later because im trying to get better at being a person and its kinda hard to do that when you are running off of decade old rules for specific things like an ancient construct still doing the same task for 10,000 years because their long dead creator never told them to stop or do something else before dying. i'm going to set that alarm and get a sweet 5 hours of sleep (10:00) as the call of these new quality pajamas i got for christmas that i've been wearing all day (and the reason I slept to 5 pm) is getting me good. I swear 3rd most comfortable thing in recent memory. 2nd is when I went to sleep in my robe without my fan on a nice post christmas gift opening morning with a sunbeam directly on me. 1st are/is that/those dream/s when I was in a maid dress, (slashes are because i cant remember if i had more than one because thinking about it may or may not have caused more dreams about it) though that might be cheating as in a dream, all feeling is simulated by the brain, so it could recreate any feeling it wanted to at levels impossible in real life, with no issue. If dreams weren't just shuffled up brainwaves that happen when the body is in rest mode, id think this was a very unsubtle message about transing my gender or something. like brain I get it, Im probably transgender in some way shape or form, I don't heavily dislike being called a man in specifics and despise body hair growing on me to the point of wanting to remove my flesh for no reason. but can you like wait until im 25 or something? I don't really feel like a fully formed adult yet (nor do I feel like a youthful individual. I feel like having the only real consistent social interaction you do be with people double your age will do these kinda things to you as well as just being 20 in general) and I don't know enough about all the rules and junk about it all to make any big decisions. guess its just more envy 4 me

[official-mistah-j]

REIGN WAS MY RX FROM A WANNA-BE HARLEY

he was a man

that said he aint straight

idek

cover up

or cover girl

who f****** knows

a friend of hers

got me through

when there was no one

just songs and tears for you

dancing in my head,

the things we did and words we said

but were they my own, the songs i heard

we wre connected

everything

cycling again

morticia smokes but she doesnt use nic

i think its quite lovely

whatever are we

divine

times 3

a foot for a fucking foot

devil box

my passion

says a dream

joker box

making the world

suitable for Enki

my father in Translyvnia Vampire Cour

The necklaces

are to keep

Dracula's ponty teeth

away

from an andreline rushed

artery--

everything will come to pass

again

nothing ever lasts

maybe though

it will be ink

i create from ashes of you

and i will

blacken

everything

and i will still see

you're riding with death

and im so grateful

maybe the only thing

if being able to see you

right now, my emotions tell me im alive

and my pulse quickens

rocking out, gathering crystals and gems

deejeeing and making and doing silly jokes

that belong in museums

but are quickly forgotten

and our lips are locking

cat has my tongue

and i cant sleep

my nymphetamine,from hell are we, not our fault, this unwanted place, a 3d realty, lol.. to 4d, a little better, in our shadow are we, and i like it, you all men dont deserve to see, a friend of them ill always be, ill always choose a goddess over any man,

well

thats kinda embarrassing

-----------------------

louie did the dishes

samael swept the floor

asmodeus vaccuumed

and satan hid us from the bullets

and jet cursed his woulda been cousin (how cute, our family is being followed ugh by skinwalkers that are more real, more "in the flesh" of a skin walker, you know, clawed hands and points knows, im a man with a heart black as sin, and they said leave that one alone, boy, and they will again, and yes,my sisters youngest son, they never let em grow up, he's a bit of a suck up, but if you believe in santa, you';l get mre presents and in my house, im carolling, cause thats my prison

christmas land

he said i did a good job

with a smile on his face

of handling gifting this year

and things to bake

(though i didnt partake)

im clean off everything,

so much time on my hands

meant to play

and wither things

it screamt she is a bad mommy and shes soory

prolly cause shes really the dad

in heaven and hell and prison and in the well

and between these dimensions inbetween these realms called heaven and hell

you arent the first to see this dream this, scene

she said

"little girl"

and i will forever

guard our dream, no longer dead

using these powers, to bring to life instead

and happy nightmares

[punmonster]

man, some of the dreams i have are so vivid and fleshed out that they do make me wonder if im seeing an entirely different world

especially the one i had last night. it would take a book to describe. it was full of horrors.

most of the time i was on this bullet train. the insides were, i can't remember the word, but it was designed for military use not civilian use. none of the comforts of carpets and plush booths. there were grates on the floor, handrails, boilers, small rooms where a booth might be.

the head of train was constructed using the latest technology and it was used basically everywhere. it had a name, but of course i dont remember it. but i can remember the form of the word, so let's call them "grind engines". it was shaped like a huge rusted corkscrew, covered by a cap to give the train a normal appearance.

the technology itself worked in such a way that it could cause massive bloodshed and torment. it was like an atom bomb without the explosion. i don't know how it was a torment nexus or what evil it was capable of, but i could feel pain sheaving off it, onto everything around it.

the same technology was used for /television/, in ways i again did not understand.

an entire country was being used as like this squid/hunger games reality show. and an ancient samurai who used to live there now worked as a backstage employee. there was a part of this dream i cant remember, but he was able to cut his ties with the company. before doing so, he locked in the death rates to a channel. it was at least 1 million. and the number was a live update going up. everyone was very, very angry, because in this world, this was considered a crime.

i cant remember the name of the show, but i'm going to name it "scarlet roulette".

one of the higher ups in my train, a man with a black beard, a blue hat, and a blue jumpsuit with yellow highlights said this: if someone hated scarlet roulette, that was a dog whistle that they hated grind engines.

as he said that, a man who looked like he was from that country, kneeled and prayed in a crook beside a boiler. it was part of his schedule. he wore brown clothes, had black hair, and wore a smooth round hat with no brim. it stopped at the niche of his ears. there was a pain my chest and it became clearer what kind of world this was when the higher up gave him a sour look and dragged him away. i didn't see him again. he didn't even look scared when it happened. it a 'hey man hows it going, hey what are you doing' look.

there was also an elderly female soldier named Irene. she was the leader in one of several hired army groups, mercenaries basically with army construction and aesthetic. she had pink tinted hair. before she grew old, it was black.

after a prisoner escaped from her group, another one escaped from our's. so our two groups met up and had icecream? like everything was right in the world while we discussed finding the prisoners.

in our group, we had some kind of immortal soldier guy. irene locked eyes with him and tried to ignore our party, but he called her over and tried to include her. he looked young, and she was very old. she looked sad, but smiled. this was the heartbreak of having given your years to someone who couldn't grow old with you, i suppose.

the only reason i remembered her name out of all this is because "Goodnight Irene" is a song in my music library. funny how i really did see her in my dreams.

the show runners for scarlet roulette thought they had a way to fix their bad publicity. it made no sense but this is a dream so whatever.

they sent out an agent in techy fighting gear and he started attacking the grass at the top of this important hill. the hill had parts that would light up like simon says and he would dance across them in some kind of combination. the death counter skyrocketed. it made no sense.

he hired people who lived in that country to help him. people covered in injuries and bandages, who were victims of this giant game. their leader was a woman with her face completely bandaged. she wore beautiful blue earrings and had long black hair. she gave orders like she could see and speak clearly. they were promised better lives. they attacked the hill with flame throwers.

two red flowers sprouted on the edge of the hill. as a third red flower sprouted, they begged the hired soldiers to take the flower to their son. they begged several times. but instead of a soldier plucking the third flower, it was the foreign agent that was sent to kill three hill. he did not look like he had good plans for it.

the two remaining flowers screamed, twisted up, and turned into a woman made of bright yellow magma whose face was inlaid with anguish. the dream cut away from this to the show runners. they said the agent made the volcano erupt. they seemed upset by this.

there is a lot else that happened, but the other memories are too faint to relay.

the red flowers had many red, flat petals, enough to hide the bulb. i tried to look it up but i couldn't find quite the right result. dahlia or chrysanthemum are the closest i can get right now.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

[subjectsix]

okay i cant promise this will be coherent but i’m going to try and elaborate on this thought i had, and this is gonna be one long rambling post that gets off topic so im throwing it under a read more, but control thoughts ahoy:

the bureau, indirectly or directly, told dylan he couldn’t change, and he believed them.

after piling on the expectations and praise and pressure and trying to shape him to be director like they wanted, telling him it was what he was meant for, they rip the rug out from under him. yes someone died, and then more people died, and he should face the consequences for his actions. and if you listen to his evaluation with carla, he sounds remorseful, panicked, like he wants to apologize or make it right, or at the very least prove himself-- he can control it now, please let him back, let him see casper again-- he didn’t mean to, he feels horrible-- he’s scared, can someone please listen?

but you can hear it, in the very same recording, that he’s decided the bureau’s given up on him. so he leans into it hard. no longer a prime candidate? now a menace, now a danger? in trouble and treated like a prisoner? okay. fine. 

if that recording is post the roberts incident but pre the other deaths darling mentions, then it would be before he’s put in the P6 cell as well, but he already knows he’s a prisoner. a bigger cage with more freedoms is still a cage when he can’t leave and see the sky. he picked up on the idea that the bureau gave up on him, so he ran with it. no second chances, burn with me.

and then the hiss shows up. “i’m better now. the hiss made me better.”

never mind that its an entropic self-destructive force praying on insecurities and half truths and even truths but with wrong ideas and harmful solutions. never mind that the hiss ultimately only cares about its own goals and is all consuming of everything else, and makes you dependent, makes you feel good, makes everything sound good-- like trench says, when he was in the flow, it made perfect sense, but when he woke up, it was all nonsense. but dylan thinks he can’t change. he’s bought the lie of the people around him, bought the lie he told himself, bought the lie the hiss sold him: he can’t get better. not in the way he wanted to. but he can certainly try and live up to the terrible monster they thought he was. even if its not true. (and even if he starts to believe them).

but there’s that realization in the haze. its like hes just standing there, watching, and he can’t do anything about it. jesse, can you hear me? did i fall with them?

but there’s the hope, there’s always the hope, always, always, always: grow brighter. that the past is important to learn from, but we can’t live in it. that we have responsibility when we’re in power, but we can’t be too far removed or too overbearing. we shouldn’t manipulate or create so much paranoia and secrecy instead of communicating. but when it happens, we don’t throw it all out-- we pick ourselves back up and learn, we grow brighter.

it takes time. its not easy or clear cut. you might not find all the answers, but you know there are some, even if you don’t understand them, you know that they’re there. and you look for them, but you don’t let the obsession get you. you don’t isolate yourself. you lean on others around you. you let yourself be loved and love others even if thats uncomfortable because it’s good. you keep learning, you keep growing, you realize point a to point b looks very different every day, and that moving forward doesn’t always literally look like moving forward. you grow brighter.

anyway. there’s an essay in there about control’s themes probably. i had to yeet all that at a wall tho. i’ll flesh it out more later kesjhfksehf

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Wilfords Demands: Who Do You Belong To?

Summary- 5.2 k. Curtis Everett x Y/N. Written for @mcudarklibrary​ Kink Challenge- April. You’ve been in Curtis care for a few weeks now. He has no hesitation in reminding you who you belong to. Warnings- Dub Con/Non Con situations, punishments treatment, drug and alcohol mentions. 

Chapter One- Just Another Prisoner / Masterlist 

“So Curtis, how are you liking your new girl?” Wilford asked curiously as he flicked some crumbs off his luscious red robe, frowning as he rubbed at what looked like a smudge, under his breath he complained. “Those fucking cleaners never do anything right. Useless the lot of them.” The older man chose to ignore it for now, turning back to Curtis sitting opposite of him, Claude pouring fresh tea into two delicate china mugs. “Isnt she something, as soon as I saw her on camera, I knew you would like her. Yes, shes a bit thin still, but get some meat on her, and she will have all those nice curves to keep you occupied.” 

Curtis nodded his thanks to Claude and reached to take the cup, contemplating what Wilford was talking about, you were rather lovely in your innocence. All Curtis had to still do was look at you a certain way, and your cheeks would turn pink and your glance would look away from him, sometimes a tiny whine would issue, making him grin. “Im liking her quite fine. She was an innocent you know? I was surprised.” Wilford winked over his cup while he added generous amounts of honey comb to his cup, swirling his cup a bit before taking a sip.

“I had hoped she would be, How the fuck I know, pretty little thing like that. I am a bit disappointed she isnt pregnant yet though, but in due time I know. I just get impatient.” 

Curtis kinda shrugged a bit, he never really cared what Wilford did with the kids they made him, but this time it kinda rubbed him the wrong way. He didnt seem to pick up on it, or chose to ignore it, falling into another subject that Wilford used them for. Entertainment for the front enders for a couple months a year, a sport. 

“Also, its about time for the games, and Im putting my goods on you Curtis, Do not disappoint. Once you get in that ring, murder the sons of bitches.” The true purpose of the games, weed out the weak. So far only three of the original group still survived, Curtis was one of them for his brutal approach to all of it. He was a survivalist first, and had no issue getting blood all over in the process.

“Yes I know, trust me, I dont want my ass fucking dead.” Curtis growled out and grew impatient, ready to get back to you. “We done shooting the shit Wilford, or you ready for this months supplies?” 

“God your always so fucking impatient to leave my company.” Wilford rolled his eyes and sighed as if hurt, Curtis just stared at him waiting for him to get on with it. “Okay, my boy... let me know what you want.” 

Curtis wasted no time, filling out his demands and leaving straight afterwards. There was only so much time he could stand being in that mans presence. His spirit uplifted a bit knowing he would be seeing you again. You were still quiet in his presence, trying to remain unnoticed, but he was always aware of your presence unlike any other woman he had ever been with. Sometimes he would draw out conversation from you. But your answers were usually short, clipped, or you shrugged not knowing how to answer. Seeing how you lived in the tail end all your life, there was simply things you didnt know about. That was okay, you would learn about these things soon enough. 

Opening the door and stepping in, you were curled in the seat near the window, a book resting on your knee and gaze out the window watching the speeding landscape. You jumped slightly when Curtis entered and pulled your legs up nervously to watch him. Always so observant his girl was. "You havent seem to gotten to far while I was gone." nearby he sat down some bags of stuff he brought back with him, the items he had asked for from Wilford.

Your fingers trail down the spine and you slide it to the table, shaking you head softly. "Cant concentrate Curtis." Wary was how you were of this man, who stalked around his room till he moved to sit on the edge of the bed nearby. "Hmmm, do you not like it?" How brow arched and a your voice rose in a rush, as you clutched at the book. "No no, t-thank you... Its not that." You didnt want to loose a gift he brought you. Already reading through the few he had, you had gotten bored being unable to leave the small room. Curtis had requested a book for you with Wilford, and as you were finding out, Wilford accommodated Curtis requests typically.

"I was tested again, and still negative... " your voice dropped, admitting to your distraction. At first the news would cause Curtis to curse, drag you back to bed to try again.

So your head dropped, waiting to be yanked onto the mattress, but these past few weeks, he changed. Sometimes your news didn't cause any reaction, he would leave you to what you were doing. You trembled a bit, waiting to see what today would bring.

Curtis isnt sure when it changed for him, that he actually liked this one, it was something more then what was required of him, having any interest in his charge. You, a little tail ender was so innocent in to what he did to you, that he found it endearing. Her little surprised mewls when he taught you some new sense gave him satisfaction. He patted his knee. “Come over here Y/N” 

The tension raised between the two of you when you hesitated, curling your hands together and your face wanted to defy him, he could see the flash in your eyes and the way your breathing flared your nose. Curtis arched a brow daring you to tell him no. Oh would you? He almost wanted you to, that primal part of him loved overpowering you beneath him. You were so defeated when he first got his hands on you, but he felt that you had a bit of fire somewhere still, it just needed to be ignited. 

After a few seconds though you went back to your resigned manner and unfolded your legs approaching him, moving to stand in between his spread thighs. “Dont worry about the negative, it doesnt always happen right away.” His fingers snapped at your pants buttons and slid them down with a jerk, your hand bracing against his shoulder to keep from loosing balance and lifting your feet to loose your pants. He pushed your shirt up. “Get rid of all this to.” 

Lifting your shirt and tossing it aside, that deep blush he admired so much spread down from your face and neck, flaring over your collarbone. His mouth smirked until he lashed his tongue over a nipple, teasing the other with pinching fingertips. “But how long till they get impatient Curtis?” you took a shuddering breath feeling the warmth of his mouth tease you to a peak, rubbing your thighs together as heat pooled faster then you expect it to in your core. “Im ready to be done and go back home.” He growled at this, biting enough for you to yelp, and try to pull away but his legs have you trapped in between them. 

“What makes you think your going back Y/N?” He growled deeply, whipping you around, and pulling you back into his lap with one muscled forearm circled around your waist. “I already told you, you were given to me to use.” your hands were grasping his forearm pressed around your midsection, and you whine softly at his words. “But once Im pregnant you wont want me in your space, why wouldnt they send me back till birth?” 

“Cause, Im keeping you. Open your mouth.” He demanded and grabbed a hold of your jaw, forcing your mouth to open, his other arm loosened around your waist and moved two fingers to your mouth.“suck, get them good and wet Y/N”  his fingers pressed against your tongue and you immediately started to suck on his digits. doing your best to do as he asked. “As I told you a few weeks ago, your issued to me for at least the next few years.” Shifting his legs to hook yours over his knees and spread his legs so your thighs spread apart wide for him, the rush of cooler air hitting your aroused flesh made you moan around his fingers pressing against your tongue. “Your here till your used up or Im tired of you.” His voice, was so final as he yanked his fingers out from your mouth, tracing your bottom lip with one of the drenched fingers. “And then your still not going back there Honey. He wont let you go back home” 

Before you could fully register what Curtis was telling you, he dropped his hand to your cunt, his fingers warm and wet from how you worked them traced your pussy lips, soft under his fingertips, his biting kiss on your neck was a stark contrast, making you attempt to pull away, but he once more clamped his arm around your waist to keep you in place, his long middle digit dipping in between the folds, tease your sensitive flesh. “N-never? even if I was useless to have children?” 

“No, never. Have you ever seen anyone return to the tail end? Your not an exception. Trust me... You could be in a worst place then with me.” Continuing to rub your cunt, circling your aroused bud but never quite touching when he would return to stroking and teasing her entrance with slight dips of his fingers, collecting your arousal to spread. “I am not the only man who does this, and plenty are cruel to there partners.” It was getting harder to focus on Curtis as he started finally touching where you ached, his arm tightening when you would arch and let your head fall back to his shoulder. Pressing his lips to your temple. “Curtis... Its,,,” 

“Feels good right? Most the time it will if Im doing my job right,” Assuring as he let two fingers fill your wet heated entrance, making you open your thighs wider, his own adjusting to help you keep them spread. You were panting, rocking your hips to meet his thrusting digits. If you werent so caught up in the moment, you would have been embarrassed of the squelching sound your wet cunt was making the faster he pumped his fingers. Your walls started to clench around him, and that little firey coil started to tighten in your lower belly. 

“M-most of the time?” You managed to utter, and Curtis chuckled while biting lightly on your earlobe. “Well your a temptation, this tight little body.” His fingers hooked when he said that, come along with me baby. He would stroke your walls to comply with his wishes, fighting against his hold, and you were crying out when you pushed back into his chest, locking and shaking, flooding his hand. “Wouldnt be hard for me to loose control and just fuck you into the mattress” 

Your thighs are trying pushing to close, aching from being stretched open, and fighting through your orgasm. He shoved you forward slightly to undo his pants, and you lean forward to brace your hands against your knees, your head dipping forward to catch your breath. It wasnt long you felt his cock pressing against your back. God you fucking hope he never lost control with you, You could barely handle him now, and everything he did was measured calculated. Curtis did nothing without giving it some thought, you knew this. 

Hands at your hips, lifted your ass enough so he could fit himself into your core, and eased you back, slowly so he inched in, making you stretch around him but it still made you hold your breath till you were full of him, every movement you made, made you groan, his thrusts were quick upward angled jabs, pressing deeper and you still braced your hands while arching your breasts forward, this angle was so fucking full, concentrating was impossible. There was just rushed thrusts and grinding your hips back down. 

Somewhere it registered his cussing against your neck, as his thrusts pressed forward longer in your clenching pussy. “Fuck your so good, just gonna fill you till your dripping with cum.” He grunted against the back of your neck, his fingers digging into your hips and started to move you faster, bouncing you, and you just rode it till he roared and warm jets of his cum started to fill you. Your channel flexed around his cock, milking him for the last of it, and you collapse back against him, covering your face with your hands and giving a soft sob from your second orgasm within a short time. 

Pulling himself from him, he swiped his fingers through your cunt and scooped his cum back into you, making you quiver slightly at the sensation. Curtis gave a possessive nip to your neck, and shifted your legs back to a close. Fuck the muscles ached, all you wanted to do was lay down, the muscles in your thighs screaming with a burn. Curtis tapped your thigh to stand. “Dont be letting that run down your leg Y/N,” You nod and go to stand, your legs shaking enough to look like you might wipe out, Curtis hands shot out and grasped your hips to draw you back and sit on the bed. “Probably need a moment to get your legs back.” 

Tucking himself back in his pants, he let you claim the bed and went to where he had ditched the bags he brought back from Wilfords. You dragged a blanket over your naked body and watched with curiosity as he pulled out some clothing for you, nicer then the stuff youve been wearing. “Whats that for?” you asked curiously. 

Curtis brought the skirt and top over to let you inspect them. “They are for you. There is a entertainment car, and I figured your ready to meet others. I trust you to remember who you belong to” Your eyes brightened at the idea of seeing others, even if they were front enders. “Hows your legs? If you can stand, were going in half an hour.” He took the rest of the bag and turning his back to you, stored away a few books Wilford gave him, a treat for you later if you got to bored and deserved them. Curtis hoped there would come a time where you wanted to please him, not had to please him. 

While he was doing this, you tested yourself, and gathered the clothing to your bare chest. “they are fine... I will go get ready Curtis.” You escaped quickly into the bathroom, easing the door mostly closed. You rubbed your face in the soft long sleeve, it was the softest thing you could remember feeling and when you tugged the clothing on, braiding your hair to sweep straight down your back well past your waist, you couldnt remember feeling this way, like you were being showed off,and you kind of liked it. Stepping out, your clear your throat a bit and Curtis looks up from where he had been reading the spot you left in your books. 

Fuck you look good. Curtis nods his approval, and you nervously pick at the shirt, biting back a grin in your excitement. A warm rush tingles Curtis seeing you so damn happy for the first time since he brought you back a book, and unlocking the door, he held it open for you, beckoning you to step out. Going to step out the door, your hand braced on the door frame as you peeked out, it was empty, which your heart sunk a little and with a gentle ease of Curtis’s hand in the small of your back, you step into the wide looking hallway. He slung his arm around your waist, a steady hold on your hip and in the belt loops of your pants, he led you towards the front, the way you were dragged down to his room. “Now you stay with me Y/N unless I tell you otherwise, understand? Your free to talk to people that are in this car, but remember your place. You are mine, if I find out you are disrespecting what we have going on, or me, you wont like the consequences.” 

“Yes Curtis” you reply, feeling your mouth go dry with nerves and anticipation, would you know anyone there? You hoped so, you were desperate to find out how your friends were in the tail end. You two reached a gate, and your bouncing a bit at his side, the music on the other side is thumping loud and you can see flashes of lights through the cracks. Curtis smiles a bit to himself at how obvious excited you are to get out of the room, but there are rules, and he had to be sure you knew them. Turning you to face him, he grabs your chin and makes you look at him. “Remember what I said, do you understand? do you have any questions before we go in?” 

You nod probably a little harder then you should and you glance at the door once more before back up to him. “Am I allowed to ask about the tail end if I see anyone I know? That wont make you upset with me?” 

Curtis thought about this for a few moments, it wouldnt hurt and you so desperately wanted to know, probably still had your hopes up about one day seeing your friends again. “You can, but dont expect to see anyone from before in there Y/N” His fist thumped against the metal door, and it popped open enough for Curtis to slide through and he took your arm, bringing you through. It wasnt quite as you remembered, but last time you came through, you were being dragged, and didnt exactly have time to admire the setting. This time you did though, and your eyes widened before you. 

People, gyrating all over each other, among the flashing lights above them, it was extremely distracting and made you want to shut your eyes. First the people were laughing and dancing, then they would turn and a clash of teeth and lashing of tongues inhaled one another in open mouth kisses, moving from one person to whoever was closest. You leaned more into Curtis, not wanting to get caught up in the orgy. It was something you didnt enjoy from him, and you knew you wouldnt like it here either. With a push of his hand, Curtis broke past the group, and the car opened up to show more people dancing, some with one another, some off poles placed in what looked like a seating area, people lazing around, high from the kronoles scattered in the sunken seating booths. Curtis led you past these as well until you two were near the other side, and he directed you to sit. “Just wait here, I will be back.” A simple nod was efficient enough for him, and he went to the small bar set up. 

“Kronoles, rum and coke?” The man asked Curtis while he pulled out to glass jars to pour the alcohol into. 

“Just the rum and coke.” Normally Curtis would part take in the kronoles, chase that mindless high that came with it, but not this time with you accompanying him. He would come back another time without you. The rum and coke though, rare treat, doing some calculations about the occasion for the rare indulgence. Wilford had announced it was new years. Collecting the drinks, he came back to where you were half in and out of your seat, curious to your surroundings. Twisting back into your seat, your nose wrinkled as you sniffed your drink, used to only water. “What is it?” 

“Try it and find out.” Was all he said, and you cautiously brought your mouth to the edge, taking a sip. It burned and was sweet at the same time, and you took another sip that stung its way down your throat. The dart of your tongue wasnt missed by Curtis, and his cock twitched at the very notion of how sweet your lips would look stretching around his shaft, your head tipped to meet him with your eyes rolling up to meet him. Fuck... It was gonna have to go on your list of necessary teachings. No it wouldnt benefit what you two were striving for, but it was a damn sweet thought, your mouth sucking him off. To cool off, he to took a bigger swallow then your sip, appreciating the burn as it went down to settle in his gut. 

“what is it?” You repeated and he looked at you and swiped his thumb over your lower lip to dry it off. “Rum and Coke, we only get it once a year, usually its homemade shit or cheap ass beer thats long since gone stale. Its new years though, another year living on the train passed.” 

“Oh! I never heard the announcement.” Your gaze again falls to looking around the room, and you got bolder in your drinking. Soon, your eyes were brighter then usual and there was a flush to your cheeks. Curtis watched you get caught up in it all and he finally leaned over to whisper in your ear. “You can go dance you know, just dont stray far from the table.” He knew others would pick up on your innocence right away, target you for your weakness, typically it was a game. That is until people learned that your were his, and he was never one to share. 

Nervous, you hesitate a moment, and then push up to go up the stairs, and dont wander to far away, but mingle. Soon your drawn into a group of women who were just dancing, and the rush of the alcohol in your system swept you away in the motion. Curtis caught sight of you laughing and swaying your hips, deeming that you were fine. He collected your glasses to go refill them with just straight soda this time, and a pair of steel grey eyes crinkled at the corners, smirking watching Curtis, whom was unaware of the threat. About time he left his girl alone was the mans thoughts, pushing from where he been sitting with a group of friends and his own toy. 

You were unaware of any change happening, until a pair of hands slid along your hips, and hot breath against your neck, a lash of the tongue over your ear, you wouldnt doubt it was anyone other then Curtis so you didnt fight it. You were his after all, and your buzzed state, you couldnt tell that this was a slightly smaller set of hands on your hips, and that the person gyrating behind you certainly wasnt as broad as Curtis. Your time in the tail end, you were used to never having personal space, you simply fell back into the person behind you, getting lost in the tempo and rush of the alcohol.  

When he came back, he glanced through the crowd again as he set the drinks down, and Curtis couldnt fucking believe what the hell he was seeing. You pushing your sweet little ass of yours into Grey of all the fucking people. Quick, he snapped up to the dance floor, and your eyes sprang open to see him pushing people to crash into one another so he could get through, frightened you looked over your shoulder to see someone youve never seen in your life, and you stepped forward to meet Curtis. “Curtis! Im so-” 

“Get on your fucking knees now and wait!” He roared at you and your scrambled to fall at his feet like he told you to, your eyes welling up at your mistake. Curtis stepped around where you knelt, your hands wringing together. 

“Curtis, we were just having fun to.” Grey sighed with disappointment. “I had to see what the fuss was all about. I can see why Wilford got interested in her, she is cute for a cum slut.” 

“What the fuck makes you think you could touch her?” Curtis crowded Grey, who didnt back up but he to crowded back, smirking in Curtis’s pissed off face. 

“Wanted to see if they were as fucking easy as they come. I would have had her sucking cock in a few minutes with how she was grinding her ass into me like some horny bitch. Cant satisfy them Curtis? Why Wilford had to give you a tail ender? Not like they know any better.” 

Curtis didnt even bother with that jab, it was clearly meant to push his buttons. Drawing up to his full height, Grey albeit smaller, was not at all intimidated by Curtis, and leaned in a bit closer, smirking “dont worry Curtis, when I get her, and I will cause the winner takes it all, I will teach her how to properly behave.” You were pushing to a stand to try and explain to the two men, when Curtis caught sight of you “Did I fucking tell you to stand, get back in your place.” 

“But Curtis, it wasnt... “ You try once more, and he has to deal with you defying him, you gave him no choice. Ignoring Grey who watched this all with interest, he stalked forward and fists his hand in your hair, yanking you back to your knees. “What did I tell you?” 

“On my knees” You twist and cry out, your hands going to your hair to try to get him to loosen his grip. 

“Do I want any fucking sass coming from you?” 

“n-no.” You cant help the tears that are rolling down your cheeks and the way your head bows to him. 

Lowering closer to your level, his next words were so low it was hard to hear, but they held deadly promise should you not listen. “Start crawling to the door Y/N” Releasing his hold and shoving you to sprawl back. 

You look at him like he cant be serious, crawl? His face though, was all serious anger storming his blue eyes and you back away from him, the crowd parting to allow you passage. 

“Please Curtis...” 

Nothing, no softening or taking pity on you, you do only thing that you can, and start to pull yourself away on your hands and knees, Curtis watched your heart shaped ass sway back and forth, and then turns back to Grey, whos watching with an amused look. 

“Sure you dont want me to break in your little sweetheart? Ass like that good for alot of things, wouldnt be any trouble at all.” 

Curtis growled lowly “Dont fucking lay a hand on her anymore, shes mine. I have no problem shoving your dick down your throat should you think shes yours to handle.” 

Grey grinned at the challenge. “No, course not. Better not let her out of your sight again.” With that Grey turned back, and hoped back down into the seating area he had been occupying previously, yanking his own girl back in his lap, and slapping her thighs to spread, ready to share her with his current company. Curtis didnt waste any more time with them, and followed where she had crawled away, getting to the door, you were waiting this time, in a subdued position, on your knees, head bowed, palms up, trying not to look embarrassed or scared of it all. Made his cock twitch again, Fucking Christ, bad timing. “Get up” He yanked on your arm and hauled you to a stand. You stumbled, but did it all quietly, averting looking at him. 

It was silent going back to the rooms, and you tried to keep up best you could to his long stride. The train walls kept dipping as if off kilter and you stumbled into Curtis a few times. Finally though you two reach his room again and he gets the door to open, pushing you to fly in first. You stumble and grab a hold of the wall, trying to get everything to stop spinning. 

“Curtis, please I didnt know.” 

He doesnt care, more pissed off then he was before at your attempt for an explanation, he drags you from your grip off the wall and over his knee. “You knew better Y/N, and yet you fucking undermined me.” 

His knee is hard in your stomach, and you could feel him lifting your skirt to pool around your waist. You try to look over your shoulder but he shoves your head back to look at the wall and floor. Struggling, again a waste of your energy, hes holding you pinned over his knee with no more energy then he would give to a mild inconvenience in his day. Yanking down your panties to, he smacked your bottom hard, hard enough to jar you forward in his lap. 

“Dont worry I plan on marking your ass so hard, your not going to be forgetting who you belonged to.” Curtis gives no time to adjust, its one hard spank on one of your cheeks after another, its a fire burning you now, and your crying into his leg, arching once in a while when its a particular had slap, those sharp stinging ones that you swear are going to break your skin. Curtis hand prints popped up in welts, and you sobbed for him to stop. “Pl-please Curtis, I wont do it again. I swear... I thought it was you. “ He growled and started to come to a stop. He reached to take a fistful of hair and jerk your head back so he could see you even at this angle. 

“Who do you listen to?” 

Sobs crack your voice. “You Curtis...” 

“Thats right little one, next time be aware of who the fuck is behind you. Accident or not, if I catch it happening again, it will be worst.” He just as quickly put you in a stand, and stood up himself, gripping your chin so your tear stained face couldnt defy him and look away. “Next time it will be a leather strap and you will bleed for it. Get to bed now.” Dropping his hand and you are quick to move out of his way while he went to take a shower. 

Your ass, burning hot and every step screamed red hot through you, you peel away the clothes that you had been so excited for and folded them into the dresser, getting into an over sized tee that Curtis had given you to wear. Crawling in close to the wall, you lay on your side, waiting for him to come back out. He finished and didnt bother with clothing, snapping off lights as he came, he stretched out on his side, and yanked you over to him, hiking a leg over his hip, there was a unprepared thrust into your core, and you yelp into his chest, pressing your face there till the pain dulled, your breathing coming and going in shallowly as you braced for him to start moving he never did though, his arm just caged you in close. 

“You can sleep like this tonight, full of my cock so you dont forget who the fuck you belong to.” 

You sniffle in the darkness, trying to adjust to the full sensation hes stuffed you with. Now, you were even more homesick for the tail end. 

Tags-  @jtargaryen18 @what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @p8tn0lish @stardancerluv @princess-evans-addict @patzammit @ozarkthedog​  @that-damn-girl @curtisbbq @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @thatweirdwalangpake @nsfwsebbie​ @imanuglywombat​

[rigginsstreet]

Tell us how you'd write fp different from season one if u were in control 📝

ultimately id probably keep season one the same if we’re still keeping it r*verdale and not... parentdale lmao because then that becomes an entirely different show

but i do think he couldve been utilized a little more like we couldve done some things there. 

first and foremost im making that bitch GAY and yes that is very important to his character but i dont need to tell you that. but the layers that would add bitch! the layers! oh but i also wouldve given him and hermione/the lodges a proper backstory because that shit was not explored okay like i made a post about it before how all these people went to school together and then hiram randomly calls fp up one day cuz he needs a plot of land cheapened by his presence ksjgbkjbg and then add on the whole thing with fp hermione and fred. bisexual love triangle i would like to see.

OH and i would like to see his relationship with the serpents explored more i need to see him actually being a leader and making deals and running shit PLUS how joaquin came to be his like.... second in command i mean i know he was being used to seduce kevin but i really need that backstory too lmfao i need to see that conversation and honestly i think fp pulled that from his own experiences like i can 100% see fp in his younger days having to flirt his way through some situations just to gain some knowledge about whatever. but ALSO!!!! if we had a parallel of fp seducing fred to get info for hiram and fp first agreeing to it cuz hes still pissed at fred but then shit gets complicated because obviously hes still in love with him and then fp starts feeling bad and then oh no fred finds out just when he was starting to maybe open himself up to the idea of being with fp again..... we truly couldve done so much. and then you have freds slutty ass being caught betwen his ex girlfriend and ex boyfriend while also being sad about his ex wife still. so much drama

its really not until season 2 that his character fucking derails. I WANTED TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY IN PRISON! HIM RUNNING THE YARD! PRISON FIGHTS! SEXY!

i would have liked an actual sobriety arc. he said he got sober in prison and was attending meetings and then poof. that ended immediately. and fine. we could keep that but like... at least show the struggle and the guilt over it ya know? also he did not struggle nearly enough for coming out of prison for DUMPING A DEAD TEENAGER IN A RIVER like that town truly shouldve been on his ass about that theres no WAY him working at pops wouldnt have caused a scene.

like my main problem with fp as a character is that he truly never suffers any consequences for anything but also hes written to have all these problems that are never dealt with or remotely explored. and for as much as i would love for that bitch to get some therapy i also realize its not entirely realistic for him as a character and thats fine! but i want to see him struggle i want to see him actually acknowledge he has demons to face and work at them in his own way and both fail and succeed. 

ultimately what it all comes down to is he wasnt written as a person. which.... no one on this show is. they all just tick their little boxes of stereotypes and caricatures and its very annoying. if youre gonna give fp a drinking problem, show it! not just him passed out on the couch but him actually struggling. show him trying to get better and doing good for a while only to relapse, show how he actively has to make the choice every day not to drink. have him apologize to the people he hurt. let us see the actual damage it did to not just him but those around him. 

give him relationships with other people that are fleshed out and actually matter. the fact that he never once checked in on fred after he was shot is INSANE to me. gladys was only ever used as throwaway lines that never went anywhere. he had an entire daughter he presumably never tried getting in contact with based on her reaction to see him again like....but yet he has her name tattooed over his heart? so either that was a hollow gesture to appease his own mind or he actually deeply loves her but was so ashamed of himself and what caused gladys to leave that he couldnt even pick up the phone to call them. SHOW ME THESE THINGS!

show us what the serpents meant to him as a kid who got thrown out by his father at 16 and found a family in them instead. show us why he wound up back there after fred fired him. show us why hes so bonded to them. hell, even if he just went back out of desperation because times were hard and no one else would hire him and he needed that easy money.... fucking explore that shit! 

show us him forming these relationships with the younger gay serpents because hes got all this baggage from his own upbringing and he has a soft spot for kids like him and wants to protect them, even if it is through a drug running gang. show us that abuse fucks up your perception of love and how to do it but its all he knows so hes working with what hes got.

fp honestly works best as a tragic character. trying to do good but he can never quite make it. always drawn to shadier things because ultimately its what he knows and its where he feels safe. but he wants to be better at the same time! he just truly cannot help himself. and thats what needed to be explored more with him but not in a way that romanticized it. like he really is a fucked up person when you break him down and the fact we were all supposed to look at him as the hero or something is so bizarre to me and it never worked because we were expected to just forget everything he was. 

hes not an evil guy either hes just deeply misguided because thats just the shit he grew up in and he doesnt know anything else. except for fred and what he saw with the andrews and that shouldve been an important relationship like they really couldve played on how opposite fred and fp are and used that to a narrative advantage, them being best friends. theres SO MUCH to be done with that but fuck me i guess. 

idk i just always think about how fun fp wouldve been if they had just let him indulge in his devious ways like theres no way fp jones wouldve ever taken a cop job seriously and not used it to his own advantage. theres no way he wouldve been that bent out of shape about gladys running drugs when hes done SO MUCH worse. we shouldve gotten more scamming against hiram and him and hermione being in cahoots. 

like hes a street rat. he will always be a street rat. he cannot shake this. fucking play with that! indulge in it! have fun! have him settle down with his husband but he still cant stop himself from living on the fringe of the law

[auroraaa555]

“Domain expansion. Infinite void”

My current #1 Anime is Jujutsu Kaisen and I absolutely LOVE the idea of domain expansion. Particularly Gojo "Daddy" Satoru's Infinite Void. As I was watching episode 7 I found myself wanting to know what it would be like to experience Infinite Void so I decided to write a short scrip of what might be going on in Jogo's (aka. Mt. Fuji) mind at that moment. I hope you enjoy.

Uhh spoilers I guess.

It's my first time posting on here so take it easy on me and it's a rough draft so don't be too harsh :3

------------------

“Domain expansion. Infinite void”

Those were the last words I heard. Not even a second had passed since.

I tried to bring the Jujutsu sorcerer down, I was sure my attack had hit him and Sukuna’s vessel, but somehow not only had he stopped it but he had also laid his own domain in less than a blink of an eye. How!? What was the meaning of this!? How is his curse energy and mine on so different levels!? I HAVE TO KNOW

“Infinite void”. Those words resonate with me on a different level. I know what the six eye cursed technique was and how the limitless curse worked, this man had been blessed with both of them. I knew that since he was born yet I was naive enough to think I could take him down. I had told Geto that it would be nothing but easy work for me, after all, humans have no innate control over cursed energy as we do

“You can try, but you’ll die, Jogo” he had said. I know he is watching from some distance, Hanami is with him too, I have to make sure I stop Gojo right here, right now.

I glance up, frantically trying to make sense of what is happening, I can see how my domain is shrinking, it's getting overtaken by Gojo Satoru’s domain. He even has Sukunas vessel under his right arm, it's almost as if this is a charade for him.

Light around me flickers and turns into lines of multiple colors, I'm frozen in place, not just because of his technique but also because of the atmosphere around us, it's so dense, so powerful and so insanely destructive. light turns into darkness, the lines get longer and longer until it turns into a massive white screen of... nothing… I have been quietly watching innumerable horizons over what felt like years, it had been years right? could it be perhaps that it had only been a minute? or a second? This absolute whiteness has no direction, no up or down, no sun, no moon or clouds, no air or even a breeze, no way of telling the passing of time, just hollowness.

After a while I realized that I'm just standing on the edge of infinity. I could feel the cursed energy all around me. The whiteness is never ending, there are no colors beside this... Had the sorcerer blinded me? I tried to raise my hand, afraid of realizing that indeed I had lost my sight. To my horror I couldn't move. I knew as much since the beginning, not only that but also my legs didn't respond, I couldn't feel my heartbeat either, or even blink, my body just not … was i dead? just what the hell had happened? What kind of cursed technique had he used on me? Was his domain really that refined?

My mind is not understanding anything that's around me, there is no input of information, it's only my thoughts, and they are running wild, the prospect of being trapped in this place made me want to tear my flesh, eat my own fingers, gauge my eye, ANYTHING if it means breaking free, though, that doesn't really mean anything if i cant move.

After a while I start noticing something, there is movement! there's sound! I'm not blind! i… i … a whisper, a glimpse of color, basically undetectable but its there, somewhere. Then it hits me, i get absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of information that is just thrusted into my brain, there is just too much of everything, it doesn't stop it keeps pushing through it's like

trying to fit the whole ocean into a cup but when it resists the information just keep pushing down, there is no breaking the cup, it just keeps widening, i want to scream for it to stop, but i can't, nothing happens, just the onslaught of information.

Numbers and words simply cant convey just how much of everything there is, oh how many lives I had seen, just how many sunrises and eclipses were happening at the same time everywhere. i'm sure they were all real, even though I am still frozen in the same spot as i was, this infinite void as the sorcerer had called it is not so voidless anymore, there is so much happening, and even though to my there is no forward or backwards everything keeps moving at the speed of light

Every second is agony, the cup that is my mind has tried to explode millions of time but it keeps getting bigger and bigger, not one process is ever completed it just starts, it gives me time to understand what is happening and then it stops, just to start again, again and again. My mind is shattering. No, it has shatter many times already. No experience had prepared me for this sensation, every animal breathing, jumping, flying eating and being devoured, every human smiling, all of their suffering or success are inside my mind. I can feel millions of bites, billions of smiles, tears, eyes opening, closing, mouths saying an uncountable amount of words in all the languages that exist

“This is the inner world of limitless”

I hear the sorcerer say, even though the information was still coming, his voice was on top of everything. He put a cold hand on top of my head and smiled, i cant see him but i can somehow tell what he is doing, he is not blindfolded anymore and he is moving within this domain he seems free.

“Perception, communication, every action involved in living is forcibly carried out an infinite number of times.

He pauses for a second, that smirk of his gets bigger, i know he is looking down on me, his tone of voice is soft, like someone who is talking to a dying pet just before they pull the trigger. I don't know how, but I'm going to bring down Gojo Satoru even if it kills me!

“It's ironic isn't it? when granted everything you can't do anything but just die peacefully… but i have questions i want to ask you, so i'm letting you off the hook with this…”

The sorcerer starts grabbing my head with such force that it slowly crushes my head, unable to move, i'm trying to scream, the pressure behind my eyes is too much im totally helpless as this monster just pulls up, it feels as if the world is just spinning on this one point, it's just us, the sorcerer pulling my head, my body resisting and everything just... everything just…

A cracking noise where my spine is separating makes me get back to the ugly reality, I feel like thunder surges through my body as the sorcerer finally is able to sever my head with his hand, my body doesn't resist the pull, it just gives up and he tores not only my head but my whole column, my blood spills in every direction, but it doesn't reach him, that infinity of him stops it once again. i have been trying to understand how this works, how can he touch me

but i cant my mind is going blank … the last horrific second i can see that that the infinite void is shattering into a million pieces of glass under his feet, Sukuna’s vessel is still under Gojo’s arm, unaware of the unspeakable terror i had just been through. i start to wonder what exactly would take for someone like me to defeat this monster, Prison realm is probably not enough anymore, i … gotta… find a way…

Light starts fading …

I can spot Hanami in the distance, she has a flower in its hand. I wonder why... please just… Silence...

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

ayo the thought of having to go back to school in a little over a month is fucking wild. like.....i feel like i just got out of school and binge watched invincible for the first time. IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. it’s extremely scary thinking about how fast time is passing by because i keep doing the same thing everyday. there’s barely any change in anything. not allowed outside. my IRL friends arent vaxxed yet, and even if they were, my mom’s suspicious of my intentions when going out. and lets not get into the fact that school doesnt stress me out as much, but i’ll be damned if i dont have awful test anxiety still. i feel like everything is fucking passing me by and that sucks ASS. my classmates are going out to beaches and shit, and posting on insta (good for them, i probably need to touch some grass) but like?? i feel like im just being robbed of my life. and teen years and all that. 

i know the pandemic has been hard for LITERALLY everyone. (if you said 2020 was a good year, hush, you’re alone in that regard bestie, dont wanna hear it) but i just......im finally recognizing feelings and all that (shit’s scary man) my thoughts dont match my body whatsoever (not dysphoria, its derealization, or something similar). thats so scary to me. sometimes i catch myself in the mirror and im talking and im like...”thats not me.....oh fuck, it is me.” so i dont look in the mirror and talk aloud, is what im saying. i’ll have a breakdown. but im extremely extroverted. i love people, and seeing people and hugging people. and not feeling like every day that i spend inside of my fucking house is a waste of time because time travel doesnt exist and i cant get any of these days back. at all. it is a never ending cycle. i just want a hug, dude. i’ve never experienced cuddling before either. i would love to platonically cuddle someone. but i got rid of toxic friends (still not over it) and got very radicalized...but for what. my own knowledge and betterment.....but eh. plus i traumadump, nobody wants to hear my sob story, i need to hush. and get in contact with my therapist. and discuss my anxiety issues. and possible depression. and PTSD and so many other things because it’s really not cute. anyways.

also heyy, my body issues are back. like?? hello. not that they ever went away, they just steep for a bit, then start boiling back. and that’s torture for me. having a generally okay body is fine, but then i realize that when i do wear pants, they’re either my overalls (comfort and queerness) or jeans. and yay those are tighter than they were last time. and i know weight fluctuation is a thing that happens, but i really feel like i could do more to not feel as bad. (i mean, sure, i could, but exercising makes me feel horrible mentally so). i see classmates thin and everything (i know thin isnt always healthy, but a part of me wishes that i was bone thin, we wont talk about it) and i know “every body is a bikini body” and i support that initiative 1,000 percent, but A. i have no idea if my parents would even let me get one if i wanted one (i dont) and B. i dont have the confidence to wear something like that. i even hate the fucking swimsuit that i have. i want the fucking full length victorian swimsuits with a shirt and fucking shorts because i cant stand being exposed. my stomach pokes out too much. my arms arent muscly like they were some years back. i just feel....so weird. and the “oh she’s smart, she cant be hot.” one or the other type shit that my brain keeps trying to tell me is real ia NASTY. like heyyy i have a brain, and i use it most days, but my body also shouldnt be fuckshitted like this. this collection of skin and bones keeps me safe (but not from my brain, its on some different shit)

another thing is that i can not wear exposing things. ugh, i would feel so just....out in the open. im literally scared of someone coming behind me and fucking groping me, or slapping my ass. (valid fear) but i literally fucking HATE feeling like that. one, I AM UNDERAGED, and two, ITS NASTY EITHER WAY. and if i went to school, and wore something mildly form fitting, i’d be pushing my body forward to look less noticeable (i dont trust seniors), or pulling my jacket down (i always wear jackets in school) so people arent looking at me. that sucks. and i wish i didnt make my anxiety that bad as to where it just sucks to exist. with a human flesh prison that looks a certain way. i kinda just want to hide my body. permanently. (not dysphoria related, my tits are fine, if they stay, cool, if they don’t, cool) but like...ugh.

and this is where it gets EXTREMELY dark, trigger warning for suicide mention.

yeah last year on the first week of school (virtual) i really wanted to kill myself. which like..isnt okay. i havent really told anyone about that either. because it was an extremely low point for me. i just didn’t think that i could fucking make it through the entire year. all those assignments, and all those days, wasted. im not learning anything valuable (besides maybe science and finance)...i dont know what the fuck i want to do with my life. there’s no such thing as ethical consumption so i’m gonna be contributing to something fucked up, no matter what i do. im weird. and political. and opinionated. and into so many different things. which, y’know, should be cool and fun and fresh. but it terrifies me to know that other people arent like me. that they many never understand my interests. and i feel like this with EVERYONE in EVERY class. unless i see a similar interest. or a tiny flag. but the thought of introducing myself again and again. to more people. who i may never fucking see again. who probably dont care about me. kinda discourages you a bit. so yeah, i really wanted to off myself. it seemed so impossible to get through everything. and then heyyy, near the end of the year, something really shitty happened. was depressed. told my mom i may be autistic... “okay...well....getting diagnoses takes a lot of money. so unless you have 700 bucks laying around....then no.” (who says the person who may ALSO be autistic along with me) few weeks back, talking about my therapist who wanted to talk through the DSM-4 with me “you really think you’re autistic huh.” of course mom. why else would i have written a paper about it, followed actually autistic accounts, and done research on it.

then near the next year, i sucked even more ass. friend shit broke me down and i felt....like i fucked up. which i did. and like i cant keep people in my life. (which is partially true) and i felt more physically exhausted than i had in literal years. i feel very deeply, and especially with negative emotions. so that really fucked me up. (may be something more serious, i have no idea) so there’s that. i just....i’ve never felt like i had been so awful in some time. like i let everyone around me down. so no more of /those/ situations. i dont sleep correctly when my hair is wet, so you can imagine how my dreams were THAT night.

but yeah, i dont feel like wanting to kill myself again. because i know it’s not worth it. but something just keeps pulling me deeper into these disgusting pits of awfulness. like there’s no other way out. (wrong) and gritting my teeth and willing myself to do things is going to hurt, but it’s quite literally the only choice i have. i cant give up. so there’s that. my thoughts and everything. yeah.....it’s 5:10 in the morning, im going the fuck to sleep.

[thoschei-rights]

A collection of Who fic ideas I cant be motivated to write

SEASON 12 FINALE SPOILERS INCLUDED.

some of these are really shit half-ideas and some are just so bad, im sorry but i need someone to write these bc i suck at writing- ilysm

1. So Clara can’t get back to Trap Street because Gallifrey is gone and I doubt its coming back this time, because they don’t deserve it- but imagine if Clara unknowingly arrived on Gallifrey, saw the destruction and then saw a small gaggle of humans making their way towards the broken citadel and she’s like oya oya I smell a conspiracy- and thus we get Clara there, and are you telling me when she finds out the truth, she isn’t going to smack The Master round the face because he’s the only Time Lord left in the Universe and she needs to get her anger out at them somehow- idk where it goes from here but I think about Thirteen and Clara a lot.

2. The Master is that child on the cliff with the Timeless Child, I’ve seen this idea around and I love it but I have no idea how I’d really write it, I just love the idea and want more people to write this thanks??

3. Angsty plot but imagine if Yaz, Graham and the other two humans got into the Cybersuits and couldn’t get back out? Like the suit took them? Thought oh hey new flesh yum good stuff?? And woops Graham you doylum you accidentally converted the four of yall into Cybermen while thinking yall clever. 

4. Someone needs to write Thirteen finding out where she’s from though, and hopefully she finds out her original race aren’t all assholes and she has somewhere she actually belongs. Make it Madagascar 2 style like at first she feels like the odd one out, doesn’t fit in, does something wrong and feels outcasted, scared to be alone again but bOOM she isn’’t and someone is there for her, heck even give her parents or smth, i just want her to belong, to have a family she knows wont leave her after only a few years like all the companions do, someone of her own species who dont age in the blink of an eye like humans- :’) am i trying to redeem myself for all the torture i put thirteen through

5. The prison is Stormcage and River hears about the fact they have a new maximum security prisoner and they are really rare bc sure the universe has lots of psychos but only the worst of the worst land themselves in the block the doctor is in and she’s like hmm I wonder- and boom prison break happens as soon as River finds out who it is and whats just happened to her :’)

6. Dhawan!Master barely escaping Gallifrey with The Doctor, the two forces to escape in the same Tardis since its the only one in range, but he’s been hit ever so slightly by the death particle, enough that his body is forced to regenerate and he becomes Missy and Thirteen is just on shock because OH it all makes sense now- Missy didn’t revert to her old ways, she’d not BEEN Missy yet, and finally there’s some hope in the Dark for Thirteen. Also Thrissy because I’m gay for Thrissy.

7. That 12.9 ending scene but instead of just standing in shock and fear and anger, the Doctor paces over to the smug bitch who just yeeted out of that boundary, slaps him across the face and then snogs the fuck outta him. Thoschei rights. Preach. 

8. When The Doctor blows the Matrix, her wiped memories start coming back to her and while in prison she has to experience some of these returning terrors alone, with no comfort. Lots of angst. Make it really dark and sad. Make me sob my heart out. 

9. The Matrix takes more energy from Thirteen than she thought and when yanking from Yaz’s hold to go blow up the Master and the Cybermasters, she collapses from exhaustion and is unconscious while Yaz takes her place and sacrifices herself. When Thirteen wakes, its too late and she has to live in a Universe with no Yaz, just even more shit for her to try and process, its all too much. 

10. Somehow rumour of the true creation of the time lords gets out among the stars, it suddenly becomes common knowledge, “did you hear about the doctor?” “the time lords experimented on her, as a child, stole her dna for themselves” and “they wiped her memories, forced her to revert to a child” and maybe even “i heard they trapped her in a confession dial for 4.5 billion years-” “wha- 4.5 BILLION years?” and suddenly everyone knows the time lords dirty secret but they also know the fragments of the doctors past, and eventually these rumours reach people who know her well, her friends whom are still among the stars, Bill, Clara and Me, Jack, River, hell anyone you wanted, and these companions are like shit we need to find the doctor?? maybe some of them break her outta prison or?? maybe some stumble upon her after shes reunited with the fam and the fam end up finding out too, after thirteen tries not to let them know too much?? idk?? this one is very ambiguous on details so go with it as you want

11. any form of feral baby thirteen. just anything where she snaps at any point will make me happy. just give me. give. me.

[dauntless-dragayn]

liveblogging She ra s3 reactions part 2

time for pain babay!

[ part one ┊ part two ]

episode 4

Oh Boy i can already feel the tonal shift

“The Moment of Truth” WHAT a title

Hordak youre assuming your general will give a fuck

CATRAS BACK

Entrapta: “Ooh you have a wip now?” THE ENTIRE FANDOM WHEN CLIPS WERE DROPPED

this isnt related to anything but Angela’s wings are so pretty 🤩

Oh shit Glimmer just called her out big time

The mural in the background of this scene is pretty

Adora needs a chance to fuck Hordak up and not just rant at him That was satisfying tho Her angry voice / growl, yunno?

no dont go to SHADOWBITCH for help

Why is she lounging in her ‘prison’ wtf

“Let me out.” Ive never heard of a WORSE idea

Uh oh Shadowbitch knows exactly how to appeal to Glimmer

NO

Tag yourself im Bow shaking his head in the background

Oh finally Entrapta finds out the truth, this has bothered me for a while

“Catra was my friend too, but she makes bad decisions!” okay honestly this is a little too relatable - having to watch your friends fuck up their own life because they wont listen to you or reason

YEAHH PRINCESS SQUAD

Mermista telling Shadowbitch to shut the fuck up is iconic

Angela flying through the hallways :0

Fuck im worried about this I dont trust Shadowbitch

Wait “her”? Froggo person is a her? Aiight

I see the Princesses are now occupied and wont be in the way during thematically relevant scenes

CATRA 

BOW!! NO DONT LEAVE HIM BEHIND

i dont like.. Glimmer and Shadowbitch working together but I must admit theyre a force to be reckoned with

I do feel bad for Catra tho The last thing she needs is more lies from Shadowbitch

This connection is hurting Glimmer!! >:U

CATRA SHOVING SCORPIA ASIDE JFC

Catra unhinging, thats what we’re watching

The significance of Catra using a taser rn is that thats what she uses to tase Adora when she first defects

So i guess that Catastrophic Event just happened huh

episode 5

wh.. what

HUH?

bitch you did not dream that shit things are NOT perfect

But at the same time its.. so nice to see Catra and Adora getting along

Their flirting .. 💕

“Do you have a concussion or something?” or something..

 Lonnie’s voice is so cute ive forgotten omg

“I cant believe you like me, thats so embarrassing for you!” AHH SKDNFJ CUTE

This is like. Fanfic material

Too good to be true tho and also too terrible bc Adora is still trapped in the Horde

Does Regelio just never talk I love them

Shadowbitch treating Catra well? Them not hating each other??? Fake news 

“Everything is perfect.” Theres that phrase again

IS THIS FORCE CAPTAIN ORIENTATION

“I do not. Like you.” AT LEAST SCORPIA IS HONEST

“And what kind of name is Adora anyway?” KEHFJFJ IM PRETTY SURE THATS THE FIRST IN-SHOW ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF IT

Who tf is this lizard person with hair in the background

Adora is remembering shit!

this would be so scary i feel rlly bad for Adora

Dissociation be like-

“Everything’s perfect.” STOP SAYING THAT

“Everything will be perfect as long as we stay together.” :(((

This is INSANE

“Its like time and space arent working right” you dont say..

Why is Scorpia the only other person to act like they remember? Besides Catra in that one moment ,,?

“Just go with it okay?” Yeah like thats what youve been doing..

Gonna reiterate: this is insane!

Hahaha Adora and Catra are alone in a closet kiss- Sorry this is all just So Much i needed to break the tension

ADORA JUST TASERED CATRA I- I mean Payback i suppose

She took her with her to the woods aw

“As much as I wish things could be the way they used to be, we can’t go back!” hey im Feeling things

“Dont you get it? Im NEVER going with you!”

FUCK 

softly but with lots of emotion: fuck

Why does this old witch lady function in the au

“This happened before with Mara!” o- oh.

Im so confused

This is intense as all fuck “Bow and Glimmer! I need to find them!” love will save the world

CATRA IS ALIVE?! Catra is.. oh god. Oh what the fuck

episode 6

Oh Glimmer and her mom getting along.. havent seen that in a while

OH HE GLIMMER’S DAD IS ALIVE IN THIS WORLD?? OHHHHH

Bow is.. scholarly

Well at least theyre still friends

“Woah you look different than your mural..” lol

Where do I recognize Micah’s voice from??

EKDHFJ THEY STILL DONT HAVE A PRISON IN THIS AU

Glimmer’s outfit is a little different and I dont like it

Adora talking up her friends to prove she knows them is everything

BOW GRABS HIS SHIRT WHEN HE SAYS “THIS ISNT RIGHT”

okay Angela looks fierce as fuck here

How.. lucky that they just warped to Entrapta’s side

Trapped between realities.. uh oh

Whos gonna die in the portal

“That portal is centered on you!” FUCK?

MARA IN THE FLESH KINDA

ADORA CANT SACriFICE HERSELF BITCH

her friends monologuing about her- BEFORE THEY DISAPPEAR I- //WIPES TEAR

i was LITERALLY about to say ‘where’s Catra. this is the perfect time for her to show up.’ Lol. I was right!

HEY ADORA demon version 😬

Catra this is all YOUR fault fuckin hoe

All their past battle spots..

THIS IS INSANE

“I didnt break the world. But I am gonna fix it. You made your choice. Now live with it!” i have. no words

watching Catra disappear still hurt me .

.. ANGELA! Wait Wait Angela No

She cant go

Glimmer would be an orphan

“And now I chose to be brave. Take care of each other.” Im not crying you are Im not crying Adora is I am

That glare at Catra, holy shit

Glimmer didnt even get to say goodbye to her mother. Their last talk was a fight.

Bow pickin up Glimmer!

im gonna cry AGAIN

//whispering/ does that mean Glimmer is queen?

Oh fuck Big Baddie found Etheria

FUCK!

FUCK ME UP.

I was not prepared for this at all

anyway UH. if any of yall wanna yell with me feel free to respond or send an ask or a message or whatever. lets suffer together