(I will take my spiders now)
Lightbulb felt... Odd. Odd was the right word. One by one people got picked off and any attempts to lighten the mood were brushed off. Ha. Like... Like Painty... Like...
Why couldn't she stop doing that? Trying to make a joke. Trying to make people feel better. She was trying to not. But.... she couldn't stop. Not even to herself!
Her head hurt.
"Hey painter extraordinare, ya need some punch?"
"if you punch me I'm burying you. Now isn't the time."
She scratched at her head. She started to scratch harder. Why couldn't she...?
"Um lightbulb you're scratching your glass! Stop- stop doing- LIGHTBULB!" Paintbrush seized Lightbulb's hands before she broke open herself. Lightbulb was panting heavily, a crazed look in her eye with tears shocking her as she scanned Paintbrush's face.
"What's wrong with me? I'm trying but I can't take it- cant. Can't take any of it seriously! Haha. Imagine-turning into a big ol' paintbrush. Just dipping you in paint! "
"Lightbulb that isn't funny. Lightbulb! Please stop you're scaring me!"
"Why can't I be scared, Painty!? I can be scared that I'm not scared but I can't be scared!"
Lightbulb heard something. She almost was relieved.
"Agh!" Paintbrush backed away from Lightbulb, electricity forcing them to.
The grim reaper appeared to her. She could only laugh.
Lightbulb turned to Paintbrush.
"H-hey Painty? C-can you catch me? I don't want to shatter."
okay the bugs arent enough for this im sending several mephonex directly to you
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why is mY DAD LIKE THIS
im gonna fucking kill somebody i swear to god he always does this shit but i was stupid enough to believe that he would only talk to me when absolutely necessary but NO he has to ask if i want the thing he printed for the wiimotes when clearly i didnt take it for a reason and when i ask if he WANTS me to have it he says "Ok" like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY CANT YOU DROP THAT SHIT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE and then i FELL FOR IT AGAIN because i cant FUCKING HELP MYSELF I GUESS and explained more than i had to when i could have LITERALLY SAID NOTHING and i just dont want him to fucking talk to me but i also desperately crave for him to talk to me like were still friends and like i even fucking MATTER to him, you cant just throw someone away and then ask if they want something meaningless out of nowhere, jesus fucking christ, if i ever meant something to you you should say THAT ASSHOLE, i cant keep giving in after everything, i cant keep doing that, itll kill me and hurt the whole time, i cant keep doing it, im trying to put a stop to it once and for all, i feel like im being torn apart
why cant he either disappear from my life like he wants me to from his or fucking APOLOGIZE and FIX IT
i just want my dad
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the master baiter
TG: dont be mad
TG: ok thats like asking water not to be wet but
CG: WATER ISN'T FUCKING WET GOD DAMMIT.
TG: look whatever remember when you said you would die for me
TG: is that karkat in the room with us right now
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CG: I'M DYING "FOR YOU" EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PEEL OPEN THOSE SHIT-EATING LIPS YOU KEEP PULLED TAUT OVER YOUR DRONING IGNORANCE SHAFT.
TG: heheheh
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CG: YOUR WORDSLUDGE SPEARS EVERY PARTICLE OF MY BODY WITH PINPOINT STRIDERIAN IDIOCY.
TG: oh shit here we go
CG: A VERBAL BARRAGE THAT PULVERIZES MY FLESH INTO A FINE RED MIST, KILLING ME INSTANTLY. WIPING ME THE FUCK OUT, TO SUCH AN INCREDIBLE DEGREE THAT PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN'T FULLY DISCERN IF A "KARKAT" FUCKING EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
CG: THEY'D BE SCRATCHING THEIR NUGBONES OVER IT FOR FUCKING SWEEPS, IF NOT FOR THE SHOCKING REALIZATION MERE MINUTES INTO THEIR DEBATES THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.
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CG: AND YET THE TEMPORAL DEVICE STILL SWAYS TO AND FRO IN CONSTERNATION. VEXED BY THE COMPLETE MENTAL VACANCY PUT BEFORE IT BY MY HUMBLE SACRIFICE, BOUND BY ITS COSMIC ROLE, BEGRUDGED BY MY UNSOLICITED DEATH CLOCKING IT INTO OVERTIME. IT HAS BETTER SHIT TO DO, GOD DAMMIT! IT HAS A LUSUS AND A HIVE TO GET BACK TO!
CG: "WHAT IS THIS. WHO LET THIS ASSHOLE IN HERE," IT SAYS. THEY AREN'T EVEN QUESTIONS, JUST ORBITAL SIGHS OF AN UNCARING UNIVERSE. A REALITY NOW KEENLY AWARE OF ITS OWN LAUGH TRACK.
CG: AND ITS PENDULUM TEETERS, TENTATIVE IN ITS OWN DISBELIEF AND PROFOUND APATHY.
TG: damn
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CG: "THIS SCUMBAG ISN'T EVEN GODTIER YET," IT POINTS OUT. THE AUDIENCE FLIPS THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT, AGHAST AT THIS REVELATION.
TG: hahaha
CG: IT WELLS UP SUCH A THRUM OF FUCKING ENNUI THAT THE TIMEPIECE FLIPS OFF-KILTER, LANDING SQUARELY IN THE "DUMBASS" ZONE WITH A "FUCK IT" LOUD ENOUGH TO REVERBERATE THROUGHOUT PARADOX SPACE.
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CG: IT THEN ELECTS TO KICK MY PATHETIC FUCKING HALF-CORPSE BACK INTO THE LIVING PLANE AND FORCE ME, VENGEFULLY FROM THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN IDIOCY, TO REPEAT THIS CYCLE AD NAUSEAM
CG: UNTIL EXISTENCE ITSELF FINALLY CROAKS UNDER THE COMBINED WEIGHT OF OUR COLOSSAL STUPIDITY.
CG: BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD I BE IF I EVER GOT TO HAVE A BREAK?
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TG: yep there he is thats him offincer
TG: the man after my own heart
TG: thats a karkat brand "soft yes" if i ever heard one and i know my karkatisms dude im a goddamn graduate in karkatology
TG: i got my degree in this shit
TG: im rocking up to our convos with the dumbass black square hat thing cocked 45 degrees
TG: literally incapable of snapping it back kinda by design of the stupid thing but damn if im not doing it anyways im emanating the snappitudes
TG: im rocking my intelligence right now
TG: also water is absolutely wet dude its like the wettest thing on the planet
CG: I'M NOT REPEATING MYSELF AGAIN
TG: yeah you are
CG: FUCK. I AM.
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CG: I SAID THE LAST THREE TIMES IT'S A CONDITIONAL TERM--
TG: and im saying its common sense like being wet isnt conditional when youre the perpetual thing of wettening
CG: NO
TG: and brother it is THE wet
TG: like following your conditional argument
TG: if water isnt wet then the other water molecules are constantly making each other fuckin wet so its a moot point
TG: great philosophical debate
TG: which came first the water or the wet?
CG: DAVE
TG: think about it all those particles are wetting each other up all the time and shit
TG: its a fucked up display
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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TG: pretty much a perpetual orgy of the elements
CG: DUDE.
TG: that sounds kinda sick actually if you dont think about what it means
TG: h2orgy
CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO VETO THIS STUPID DISCUSSION--
TG: tell me im wrong dude
CG: I'M UNIVERSE-APPOINTED TO HOVER AROUND YOU POINTING OUT EVERY DUMBASS TAKE YOU HAVE FOR THE REST OF TIME.
TG: thats so beautiful to me
TG: i could cry
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Idk if your requests are open or not AAHH! But if they are:
(Possible TW in my request for mentions of depression, anxiety, commiting di3 joke)
Could you do a reader with bad depression and anixety. And maybe one day reader makes a joke about 0ffing themself and then they dont show up to school for a few days
Characters I would prefer(from TBHK): Kou, Teru, Hanako, Akane(boy)
You can add more if you like! :)
Im sorry its not very specific, this is my first time requesting something
Also sorry i know topics like these are difficult for some people <3
depressed!reader who makes su*cidal jokes
Anime/fandom: Tbhk
Characters: Kou Minamoto, Teru Minamoto, Hanako, Akane Aoi
Warnings: I don’t proofread, depressed reader, mention of suicide
A/n: just got broken up w by my pookie wookie☹️💔
Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist
Kou Minamoto
Is immediately put off by what you’re saying and is immediately concerned, and gets even more concerned once you get together and just stares nervously at you while stuttering, not knowing what to say
“That’s so embarrassing, if that were me I would kill myself no doubt! Being so stupid like that, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” You casually said while looking at a post on your phone.
“O-oh… umm…” Kou is at a loss for words sometimes and tries to brush it off by moving onto something happier to distract you from thoughts like those
When you make a joke that’s one day too far he genuinely seems so much more concerned and ask if you’re okay. He gets so worried about you that it’s best not to make jokes like that near him.
If you don’t show up the next day, he gets worried and is immediately trying to leave school early even though he knows Teru will berate him later for it, he needs to see you’re okay and when he arrives to your house and sees you are, he’s very serious about not making jokes like those again and is invites you to his house more often to distract yourself and is willing to help you get help
Teru Minamoto
Gives you a nervous smile when you joke about suicide and even when you you’re dating he still gives you an obvious fake smile to not hurt your feelings. He knows that outright saying that if you need someone talk to talk to can be annoying sometimes so he’ll try to subtly let you know he’s there
Whether it’s from talking about a topic of a documentary of a tragic life of some celebrity and all they needed help to having Kou telk you that you’re part of the family and that you can tell them anything when you’re over at their house
“I can’t stop messing this up! God I really should’ve taken those pills when I had the chance, what the hell!” You said angrily at the fact you couldn’t get the string through the small hole in the needle.
Teru could only smile at you, he never says anything to your ‘jokes’, but then he stops and just goes to frowning hoping that you’re not being serious
When you don’t show up the next day, he’s not super worried and just assumes you’re late but sends you messages. But after a few hours the messages become more frequent and by the end of the school day he’s running to your house scared. When he sees you’re alright, he’s pissed and says enough is enough and he’s not taking anymore jokes and is instead going to help you
Hanako
He might laugh at your jokes, but it’s only so he doesn’t worry you. He’s not an unfamiliar when it comes to stuff like this and he knows you might now want to talk about it right away so he’s fine with trying to take it slow
On the inside though, his ghostly heart is scared that you’re it joking and you’re actually being serious. He can’t bear the thought of you dying—and especially dying this way so he keeps a close eye on you and has Kou and Yashiro even make sure that you’re doing okay
“God, I’m so stupid and useless” you say with a laugh as you look at your test result and shove the paper back in your bag
Hanako stares at you, and lets out a laugh that’s believe enough. He’s conflicted on what he should do, should he ask how you’re doing? What if you lie to him? Would you even want to talk to him?
It seems as if his worries have come true when you didn’t show up to school the next day and asks if Yashiro or Kou have seen you at all and to message you on those weird electronic things. Yashiro only agrees to go to your house when Hanako asked because she too was worried about you. Hanako waits impatiently the next day and sees you and you tell him you were just feeling sick. If he could, then Hanako would definitely cry and basically forces you to promise to tell him if anything is wrong with a scared and worried expression on his face
Akane Aoi
You’re the most precious person in his life so he takes everything very serious when it comes to you. A paper cut? He’s getting ready to call an ambulance for you and is frantically asking you if you’re okay.
So joking about such topics near him immediately alarms him and hea on full protective mode with asking if you’re joking or not. He takes everything you say seriously, he cares about you a lot so to see you laugh about it, hurts him a little
“What if I jump out this window right now? I really do want to do this test!” You whined and looked over at the window that was right next to where you were sitting.
Akane had a prominent frown on his face, he knew you weren’t exactly mentally okay and you’re jokes were becoming more and more frequent
He’s on full panic mode when you don’t show up to school the next day and the worst possible outcomes are immediately coming to mind. He hopes he’s wrong and is blowing up your phone and is willing to mess up his perfect attendance streak for you, he’ll fix it later. But when he sees you overslept and your phone died because wig wasn’t charged, he’s disappointed. He knew it was getting worse if you dying was what came to mind when you didn’t show up so he pledges to help you
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