#my grandmother loves me differently (positive) than her other grandkinds so she can come over
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr Inc. has $15.1M in annual revenue.
Text
I'm a little high right now but for the first time in my life I actually understand why some people are able to push past severe suicidal ideation out of spite alone
#i thought about killing myself and then got so incredibly pissed off#because my family would be like ''no we had nooo idea'' and they'd give me a stupid funeral and straight up lie about me#''she loved her family'' and ''she was very sweet and outgoing'' suck my fucking dick#this will go away tomorrow im sure but right now the idea of that is so appalling that i WANT to live#i want these motherfuckers to see me on my own in my own living space with my accomodations and hobbies#and realize thatthey never EVER fucking knew me at all and i want it to hurtand for them to feel shunned and Other and Wrong just like i did#my grandmother loves me differently (positive) than her other grandkinds so she can come over#but the rest of them are not fucking invited into that space. absolutely not#i will lose the nerve to say no but i will lie and make excuses. i will not let them poison that too#im so pissed off right now#also there has GOT to be a better word to describe the ''i want to kill myself'' feeling besides suicidal ideation#because bestie its not a fucking idea#im gnawing my own arm off trying to escape a trap I SET so i can jump off a cliff#idk if i would aquit that to something as simple as daydreaming about dying#anyway that doesn't matter its not that serious im just angry and being angry around something makes me sound very serious#i need to live long enough to get out of here. i need to feel that peace#i need to. please god i need to#i can be lonely. i can be poor. i can be depressed and suicidal but i cannot be here anymore#i am going to make it through this year if it kills me
0 notes