#IM FREE FROM EXAMS ON MONDAY

[elvensixpm]

mini odysseus doodle in honour of the vengeance vaga !!

GO OFF KING !!!! get to ur wifey !!

[caluupin]

a doodle that I did a bit ago

[kiriwiwii]

pov: they're your deskmate ☆ KNIGHTS

♡ a/n: hey guys im not dead😭 i didn't have time to write, sorry. i hope yall enjoy this <33 and thanks for 50+ followers💕💕

♡ art by Shi_iK4 on twitter

tsukasa suou

sitting with tsukasa means you're gonna get a lot of free help with your lessons-

he wasn't really friendly when you first sat near him but you both started to get close as time passed.

you can constantly ask him for notes and even if he gets mad he still gives them lol

he has those colorful pens and he takes perfect notes HE'S SO NEAT it's unreal.

cheating on exams? no way. he would kill you.

he just studies all. the. time. you try to talk to him and hes just like "quiet, [name]!" and then he starts his speeches of course "you should study too, you know? there are upcoming exams-" blah blah and the exams are in like what- 2 months?

tsukasa is a very typical good student basically. and if you're like that too, you would get along well! but if you are not... you guys might get into lots of arguments lol.

leo tsukinaga

ok i mean,, where do i even start

he's. the craziest deskmate you could've ever had.

he's the class clown (did i even need to say this) i mean if you are also a class clown then good for you got yourself a friend

if you're not then i'm sorry. he will make you go insane.

but this goes only for the times when he ACTUALLY comes to school.

like on monday he's there doing his thing and all of a sudden he disappears. you won't see him for a week-

man just vanishes. if i did that i would be expelled

he doesn't usually give attention to the teachers, and of course he studies the night right before the exam...

i feel like he has very creative ideas on how to cheat but i dunno if he would put them into action. he says its a wrong thing but then he would help you cheat lol

there are music notes EVERYWHERE on the desk. like you're taking notes and you turn your head to look at your dear deskmate to see what he's up to but you see that guy composing. where tf did he get his inspirations from? math?

and there is also something called paper but no leo chooses the desk.

you both joke a lot tho. i said he makes you go insane but he's hella funny too. teachers get angry at you all the time since yall laugh every second-

izumi sena

he's just a. normal guy. but he is also not. i mean you know how he is

the first thing you noticed was how handsome he was when you first got to your desk to meet him- (or at least that's what i would notice idk)

i feel like he's between tsukasa and leo. like,, he is not weird and loud but he's also not a nerd. just somewhere in between.

whenever you get to your desk you see izumi just annoyed at something. nothing might've happened but he will still find something to be grumpy about-

he might get mad at you if you distract him in class or he might just not care at all. depends on his mood tbh...

he asks you for notes sometimes and helps you in return too. sure if you ask for too much he says "go study yourself, jeez-" but keep begging and he'll definitely help.

ritsu sakuma

hmm it's ritsu i wonder what can i say about him.. something very different,, something you never heard before...

can you guess it? nope never you CAN'T.

im gonna say it... are you ready????

he's SLEEPING.

bet you didn't see that coming huh

ok im sorry but that's just what he does

anyways, say hi to your sleepy little vampire friend. you are going to sit with him from now on.

he's a very cute deskmate actually.

you're paying attention to the class and all of a sudden you feel ritsu's head on your shoulder aaa he fell asleep!

not only on your shoulder but he sleeps on your lap as well. you wake him up when the teacher starts talking about something important tho.

you try to teach him everything after the class since he misses lessons most of the time :(( he's very grateful that you're helping him<3

it's really fun to study with him as well. yall joke around, but also take your exams seriously.

he would try to cheat sometimes i just know it. you guys call yourselves "partners in crime" but the only thing yall do is write some answers on the desk (and they're never useful lol)

arashi narukami

she's the sweeetest deskmate. the most normal person among the others above i swear.

she buys you coffee or some snacks before the lesson starts.

sometimes you get caught up in talking with her and just forget that you're in class lol. if the teacher complains then you both instantly stop and pay attention.

she is always willing to help if you couldn't take notes or didn't understand the lesson.

whenever there is an exam and arashi sees you're worried, she tries her best to calm you down and you study together.

i feel like she would also be organized and she has a very lovely feeling overall so it's really comfortable sitting with her.

[winryrockbellwannabe]

hey, first off all just wanna say your blog is so cool i love seeing you on my dash!

i was just wondering if you had any tips for first year students and how to manage time? i think that’s the aspect i have been struggling with the most is time management and getting enough sleep rn.

omg tysm!!! 💜💜💜 so glad you like my posts!! and hope your enjoying your 1st year so far <3

So, how to manage your time:

tbh I haven't understood it that well myself. Personally im a little time blind, so i coordinate my schedule based on tasks i have to do, instead of time.

So instead of: study physics for an hour, it could be something like: understand The Schrödinger equation or study 40 pages.

My only time blocks are: morning, afternoon (before snack time, before dinner) and before going to bed. Which i particularly like since it's more flexible, and if i didn't manage to accomplish everything, i can just move it a bit, instead of ruining the whole thing.

My planner usually looks like this: (it's a bit light, since i had classes all day both monday and today, but you get the idea)

But if you like to study in time blocks, my tip is to give them space to be flexible. So if you delay smth it doesn't ruin your entire schedule, and you won't be so stressed about the time as well.

For example, you think you'll take 1h to do this assignment? Save 1h30 for it, if you end up actually needing this extra time, then you're still in time. If you only needed 1h, you can take a break and move to your next task earlier than planned.

Alarms are a student's best friend for time tracking. And a bonus advantage is that it also forces me not to be on my phone, since i set the alarm in there, and it's a visual reminder that i should be working.

Another important thing to do is to ✨ prioritize✨ your tasks!! Your final exam is way more important than a report that's only 10% your grade. Sure, if you can do both it's perfect, but don't waste too much time perfecting smth that's not that important.

Oh, and if you feel like the way your professor explains isn't doing it for you, just forget about that class! It's a waste of time to be 2 hours in a classroom, not even understanding what the professor is saying and stressing about it. Just find some good notes, and study them in the library during that time instead.

Also, for the not enough sleep problem. I feel you. That was me in the second semester of 1st year. I would lose track of time, sometimes just procrastinating, and forget to sleep. My solution for that is ✨alarms✨. I usually wake up at 7:30, so everyday i have an alarm set for 23:00 to remind myself to go to sleep, and another for 24:00, just in case i ignored the first one lol. Really improved my sleep schedules.

(And a little extra (tho i intend to do a bigger post about this soon)

1st year tips in general: Find ways to be interested in your classes, so it's easier to study. Watch documentaries about it, discuss stuff with ppl that love that subject. Even if you are learning how to solve integrals so you can help your crush - totally not talking from experience. If it get's you motivated, then that's all that matters. DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS!!! I promise your professors aren't judging you, and if your classmates are, well, they won't be judging anymore when you ace that test. And force yourself to take breaks. I would put on my t.do list to watch an episode of a series daily, bc i would be so stressed i would forget to do that. And taking breaks it's super important.)

(sorry for the huge post, I really hope at least one tip in here will be useful for you. Thank you for the ask, and best of luck for this uni year!!! Feel free to ask anymore questions💜)

[kskbli]

(￣ ;￣)

5.05.2024 (1)

i started school last monday and had my masters exam in german last thursday

i was hoping for my stress to go away the moment i gave my teacher my german exam but i couldn’t stop shaking

i haven’t been feeling well since thursday . . . i don’t know what this feeling inside of me is T_T it reminds me of summer 2021 and i can’t even put it into words

maybe i can though, and i just don’t want to

i really need a therapist, but i’m only free on weekends since im at school from 7 till 5pm .. . as far as i know no therapists are open on weekends, the ones i looked up aren’t

so it looks like i’ll start therapy after im done with school, in 2 months . . . but that’s too late for me TT my medication alone isn’t helping me at all

my mom and my siblings and dad visited me last week and helped me clean my whole apartment so i could focus on school but it doesn’t feel clean anymore

maybe it’s because the dishes are dirty again and just sitting in the kitchensink, or because my laundry is in the living room (where it doesn’t belong), or because i haven’t vacuumed in days, or because the blanket ive hung up to dry outside is still outside after 4 days, or because my bed isn’t made or simply because i myself am not clean . . .

i haven’t showered in 3 days and i reek of sweat (￣ﾊ￣*) i miss putting on loads of perfume and people telling me i smell like flowers fufufu… i don’t have the money for perfume these days . . .

i always wanted to do so much but didn’t have the motivation for it, now i don’t want to do anything at all

i woke up a couple of hours ago and the only thing i managed to do was go to the toilet, take my medication and give my cat her food

i honestly don’t know what to do anymore

12:47

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Workshopping an idea below the cut, feel free to ignore, im mostly organizing thoughts for therapy lol.

Warnings for mentions of medical neglect, self deprecation, illness/COVID, and related stuff.

When I had COVID, it went bad. Not just because I was sick, although that was certainly part of it. High fevers and constant exhaustion are misery-inducing, let alone the amount of missed classwork I had to work on from my bedroom. But that’s not what I remember about having COVID. I remember going hungry.

COVID, until recently, was handled by my university differently than other illnesses. I think that’s rather stupid; I fully support masking and mandatory self-isolation time during illness, but I don’t think those should be COVID-exclusive policies. I should be guaranteed a rescheduled exam if I have strep or the flu, also. But, because of the ongoing pandemic, COVID was unique as far as enforced isolation policies. For five days after first symptoms (at the time I was infected), you were forbidden from attending class, and for the next five days, you had to mask. You’d get a doctor’s note from the clinic excusing you from all your classes for a few days, it was a whole thing.

I did not initially get diagnosed with COVID. I started showing symptoms on Saturday night, but on Sunday, my rapid test at home was negative. On Monday, my rapid test in the university clinic was negative, and I only got a doctor’s note for the day, with instructions to return if I got worse. That afternoon, my fever soared to 101 degrees, and I was so delirious that I forgot how to treat a fever. I had to cancel attending DND, even masked and socially distanced or online, because I was incoherent from exhaustion. The next morning, I was too ill to talk or drive, and had to use an AAC to ask my friend to drive me to the doctor.

Funnily enough, even in that state, I did not think to ask my roommates to drive me to the doctor.

Which is odd for a couple reasons, honestly. On Monday, I had been in the living room the whole afternoon, shivering under a blanket on the couch and staring at a wall for hours. My roommates both had schedules which had them passing me by several times. Neither interacted with me at all, until I went into the kitchen and used my AAC to try and talk to them. Even then, they often breezed past me or ignored me when I did use my AAC, and I left that conversation frustrated because I didn’t get enough time to type a sentence. I may as well have been a rock. A sweaty, shivering rock. But I had talked to them, and I had known I was going to need to go to the doctor, and they were right there. So why didn’t I ask them to help me?

I didn’t eat at all on Monday, as far as I recall. I know I woke up on Tuesday starving. I know the only thing I have evidence of me consuming is water and tea. I know I got stuck in the shower that night, laying in the tub, too weak to climb out. For a while, I couldn’t lift my head. I’m impressed I didn’t fall asleep there.

Tuesday came, and I was diagnosed with COVID after the third rapid test came back aggressively positive. There’s something to be said about not assuming a negative test means you’re not infected with COVID, but that’s a different discussion. To be safe, I was given a doctor’s note exempting me from class until Friday. I tried to be responsible, and so I told my friend, my roommates, and anyone I had been in contact with since Saturday. Most people said “oh, I’m so sorry you’re sick, feel better!” My friend mentioned they’d disinfect their car. My roommates told me not to leave my room. Don’t get them sick.

And that’s reasonable. I’d already planned on self isolating. We were all Honors students; because the university treated COVID differently, if they were considered infectious, they would also have to miss a week of class. But their concern had nothing to do with my health, or their health, or anyone else’s. Their only response was “don’t get us sick. We can’t afford to miss class. Don’t leave your room.”

And so I didn’t.

It’s funny, how not leaving your room gets very difficult after a while. For starters, I had to use the bathroom. That, I accepted, was a necessary quarantine breach. I couldn’t pee in my room. The landlords would kill me, but more practically, that’s just unsanitary and would make me getting sick more likely. I couldn’t hold it forever, either. At some point I was forced to leave. And that was fine, small dilemma resolved, I’d only go when I desperately had to use the bathroom. But what about leaving for other things?

I never thought to ask if I could leave to get my things from downstairs. That was frivolous, even if I wanted them. Or to go downstairs for my water, or snacks. Too risky. Common areas. My roommates had been very clear that any risk of them getting sick would be dire.

Which meant that when my sick body started having bodily needs, things quickly got very complicated.

That first day, after my appointment, I ordered chipotle. My mom had venmoed me some money when she heard I was sick, worrying that I hadn’t been eating. Which. I hadn’t. I asked my roommate to bring me my food, and after a while, she did. Perfect. The burrito would tide me over for a while, I thought. I’d be full for a long time.

Then thirst started to crawl up on me. I had juice at the doctor’s that morning (I was hyperventilating and they needed an accurate measure of my heart rate), but other than that, I’d had nothing. I needed water.

But I didn’t ask for any.

Instead, I waited until the dead of night, and then stole down the stairs, grabbed several waters, crept back upstairs, and chugged desperately while hoping my roommates didn’t catch me leaving my room.

Why did I do that?

Why didn’t I just ask for water?

Why did I feel ashamed, like I had broken some law?

The next day, I woke up starving. Which makes sense. I hadn’t eaten since noon the day before. I was sick. My body needed energy to heal and it didn’t have any. I complained to my friend that I was hungry and sick; they were very kind, and went to the grocery store for me, buying me popsicles and juice and Gatorade and other foods and medicine and such. Except, my roommates didn’t want any strangers in the house, so they delivered it on my doorstep. Which I couldn’t get to. One roommate collected the groceries, sent me a photo, and I was suddenly struck with guilt. Here I was, inviting a stranger to her to our home, inconveniencing her by forcing her to put away my groceries. But I was also very thirsty, so I asked for one of the Gatorades to be delivered to my room. She brought up the whole pack. Left it outside my doorstep. I waited until she was back downstairs. She didn’t bring up anything else; none of the medicine or food my friend had bought me. But in fairness, I didn’t ask her to.

The next 48 hours were marked by living off of that Gatorade.

I was thirsty, so I drank a Gatorade. And then I realized I felt less hungry afterwards, so I opened another one. Drank that one too. The fun thing is, I don’t actually like Gatorade? I asked for it because I was dehydrated and knew I needed electrolytes to replace the fever sweat. But usually, Gatorade is something I begrudgingly sip at.

I finished four bottles that day.

That night, I texted my roommates and asked if someone could microwave me some food. It was already precooked, I just needed it microwaved. I got back one roommate’s text: “I’m in class”.

Around an hour later, the other roommate stopped studying long enough to make dinner, and saw my text, and apparently felt kind enough to microwave precooked sausage for me. She didn’t really check it? It was still cold in the middle. Which. Was not great, given that I have major texture sensitivities surrounding cold food. But she had made it for me, and I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours since then, so I ate it. Slowly. Forcing myself to swallow. Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it, just *swallow*. You have no room to complain.

I was still hungry. So I had another Gatorade.

Thursday arrived, I was on my last day of quarantine, and I had a weekend of recovery to look forward to. I was egregiously sick of Gatorade. My teeth, in my phone’s camera, were pink from the red dye. The paper plate from last night sat on my floor, forgotten, still smelling of sausage. I caught up on schoolwork. One of my two labs had leftover recordings from 2020, so I could make that one up online, and I got an exemption for attending the other one. I was weak and shaking from low blood sugar and illness, but I had shit to do, so I did it. Was it my best work? No. Did it get done? Yes. I was too tired to care about scores.

My homework was done. It was 3:48 PM. I was starving.

I texted and asked for someone to make me a frozen meal from the freezer. Slightly more inconvenient than the microwave. It had to go in the oven. I winced typing it. My roommates were so busy. They didn’t have time to waste on me.

Return text: “I’m in band til 5:20”.

Coolcoolcool. I can wait. I’ll sip another Gatorade.

5:20 comes and goes. I hear the door downstairs open. Half an hour passes. No sounds of food making. Welp. She’s busy. Maybe she forgot, or class ran overtime and I misheard, or she just can’t do it.

I text: “Checking in on the food situation?”

Suddenly, in that moment, my roommates stopped caring if I got them sick by leaving my room. The third time I ate in four days was by dinner I cooked myself, sitting on the floor of the kitchen with a mask on, trying not to fall asleep and let it burn.

Honestly, I walked away from that situation feeling like I was in the wrong. Clearly I had misunderstood something. Every time I asked for something, there was a long pause, or I was told someone was too busy to help me. I was burdening my roommates with my needs, when they were trying to work on schoolwork. Maybe I should have known I could leave my room for water, or to cook, during the day. Nevermind that I was so tired that standing up made my legs shake. I could still walk. I could sit on the floor and wait for my food. I could have taken breaks on the stairs if I was tired. I’d been lazy and needy and presumptuous.

My friends had… a different opinion about that situation.

This week, I got sick. I knew I was likely going to get sick. I went to visit some close friends, knowing some of them weren’t feeling well, and that I was going to be staying in their house. It was a calculated risk for me. I wouldn’t be in contact with a lot of other people during the trip, and if I did get sick during the trip, I wouldn’t leave the house, and regardless of how I felt, I would wear a mask while outside the house. I knew I could easily self isolate when I got home from the trip, since my bedroom is across from the bathroom and right next to the kitchen. I thought that I could just sleep during the day and eat at night, and nobody would have to be bothered by me when I got sick. I love these friends very much, and for me, it was worth it.

Notably, I live in a new house now, and with new roommates.

I did get sick, like I predicted. During the trip, no less. The second half of my visit was mostly me sleeping on a couch, or trying very hard to stay awake on a couch. I was miserable a lot of the time. I cried several times over minor inconveniences. I felt lazy and needy and presumptuous; now my friends had to put up with me being sick and weepy. I wasn’t being helpful. I wasn’t being energetic and fun to be around.

The way they treated me was night and day, compared to my old roommates.

Every time someone passed me by, they asked if I was okay. Did I want tea? Did I want some Emergen-C? Could I be persuaded to eat something? Did I need ibuprofen, or perhaps some pseudoephedrine? We ran out of sparkling water, and my friend just. Went to the store and got me some more, and some chips I liked, and some candy as a treat to snack on. I misplaced a plushie, and started crying, and… someone got up and helped me find her. They also played video games and streamed it so I could watch it from my phone while resting. Someone made my favorite dinners. My sensory issues flared up halfway through eating toast, and suddenly I had multiple people helping me get food I could eat to take my meds with. When I needed to shower, I was given access to a shower chair. I was never more than a word away from help, even if it was just something I wanted and not something I needed to feel better.

And then I got home, and my new roommate did the same thing!

I went to self isolate in my room, fully expecting to be forgotten about for the rest of the day. But my roommate sat six feet away, through my doorway, just talking to me until I was laughing. They made me dinner, and then lunch the next day. They bought me groceries again. Told me I could leave my room whenever I needed to, and that I was allowed to get water and food, why was that even a question? Hey, come watch me play Baldur’s gate. Yeah you can sit in the living room; you have a mask on and we’ll be distanced enough.

And every time I said how nice someone was being, or tried to apologize for being needy or inconvenient, I got pushed back. No, we’re not “being so nice to you”, this is basic decency, Blue. This is normal. People are meant to take care of each other when they’re sick. Who would just abandon a sick person to starve? Why are you apologizing? Why do you keep asking if you’re “allowed” to take care of your basic needs?

I don’t know.

It’s easy to point to my COVID experience and say that’s what messed me up. But even when I was sick with COVID, I didn’t want to ask for help. The negative responses reinforced that I was being too needy, but that idea wasn’t new to me. I already didn’t want to ask. I didn’t ask for food multiple times a day. I didn’t ask for the food and medicine my friend had bought me. I didn’t ask for water; I stole it from my own minifridge in the dead of night. Why didn’t you just steal food too, Blue? Great question! I felt so guilty about getting the water that it outweighed my intense hunger.

And the whole time I recounted it to other people, I doubted my own experience of the events. My memory is notoriously shitty when I’m tired or sick. I lose chunks of time. It happens. Maybe I forgot when my roommates did help me. Maybe I was emotional and misremembered how they treated me. Maybe they did care, and did ask about me, and I was too feverish to remember it. But I do have text records of every conversation we had between that Tuesday and Thursday. Because I was in my room the whole time. And could not talk to people. I have timestamps for their responses, and I have what they said and what I said.

And from those brief texts, I can tell you that I was treated as needy. and lazy. and presumptuous. I can tell you that my needs weren’t met, and instead of being angry, I apologized. I can tell you that my roommates were quick to respond when I talked about the cat sitting in the bathroom sink, or where to find the pizza cutter, but when I asked for any help, it was radio silence or “I’m in class”. Any help I did receive in that time was delayed, with no verbal confirmation it was happening, and I was left in extended limbo wondering if anybody would help me or had even read my messages.

All that’s changed is, now I know it didn’t have to be that way.

These old roommates still call me their friend. I don’t really know that I want to be their friend anymore. My friends didn’t neglect me so much that I spent hours shivering on the couch ignored, or got stuck in a shower with no way to ask for help, or stole water in the dead of night.

[imraespace]

GANG IM BACK AFTER GRIEVING OVER MY GRADES AND I HAVE DECIDED TO LOCK TF IN THIS TIME (.. hopefulyl.)

A CPT IS LIKE A FINAL PROJECT OF LIKE EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED BASICALLY AND ITS USUALLT WORTH 15% OF UR GRADE BUT DEPENDS ON THE COURSE AND USUALLT EXAM IS ALSO 15% its displayed on like the course syllabus but for some reason our science cpt is only worth 10%??? so idk how that chem cpt is worth 5% like if it was 5% per unit cuz theres chem bio physics for our science course then 5 x 3 is 15 but the math isnt mathing if the cpt is only worth 10% on the syllabus???????? SO THATS WHY IM CONFUSED AND ALSO WHY TF IS THERE A CHEM CPT AND IT TEACHES US A WHOLE NEW CONCEPT?? LIKE HUH WHAT

i also have a history cpt due on monday and another cpt due wednesday so that is fun AND I HAVENT STARTED BOTH HELPME I NEED TO ACC GET ONTO THAT ILL JUST WAKE UP EALRY TOMORROW….. 6 am grind trust…..

i just memorized the map for europe 1914 but i keep confusing denmark and sweden but its ok bc my test is monday …. i will be tweaking out bc apparently he makes the alternative test version harder and im taking that cuz my kidney appointment was on friday and the original test date was kn friday so im like lowk scared … STOP THIS. 💔

OH AND MY SAE PLSUH CAME IN TODAYYAYAYA i got a free clip and bracelet so now im gonna amke my rin and sae plushies recreate that one scene muehhehehe im #Evil rn STOP or ill make them hug depending. MY MOM APPARENTLY LOVES SAE BTw??? LIKE SHE SAW HIM AS A PLUSH AND SHE WAS LIKE i want that get me my card and paid 85 dollars for it HELPME STOP im also waiting on the yukimiya volume………. and im thinking like oh maybe i shouldve just waited to buy all the bllk manga cuz theres yk these bundles of like mangas 1-6!! and i save like 10 dollars or so from it bc of tax and im like Ugh i couldve saved money but in reality that 10 dollars saved wouldve webt jnto buying tiny bllk figures and it makes like no difference HELp SO IT DOESNT REALLT MATTER I GUESS ……. 💔💔

umumum nothing has happened other than OH WAIT I BOUGHT TWO ONESIES HELPME ONE ISNA FOX AND ANOTHER IS A DOG AND I WANNA WEAR IT FOR HALLOWEEN LIKE FOR SCHOOL AND IM THINKING LIKE OH DO I REALLY WANT TO BC WHAT IF PPL CALL ME A FURRY BUT ITS LITERALLT SO COMFY STOP.. like…. let me live its so comfy…… and very warm so idk if i acc will wear it cuz sometimes my school blasts the heaters after 12 pm BUT I MIGHT 😈

umumum okaya thats actuallt all that hapepned HELPME

OKAY DAILY QUESTION IS UM who in bllk would be really good at eating salmon sashimi bc i want salmon sashimi rn.

- 🐙

HAIIII YOU WERE MISSED DEARLY by me

IM GLAD YOU LOCKED IN I gotta lock in soon exams are almost here..

OH THAT SOUNDS.. confusing🤨 I MEAN IT MAKES SENSE but also sounds confusing that kinda reminds me of SBAS here but instead you do an SBA when you reach senior level bc your SBA overall grade adds to your FINAL FINALL exam mark the one you do to leave the school ykyk

I WISH YOU LUCK DAMG I'll be procrastinating like crazy

WHAT IN THE FAC A WHOLE MAP?? I feel bad for yall geography and history students.. whatever you're doing idk ever since i started business my knowledge narrowed (im joking)

OMG SAE PLUSH MSHDJAJS

HELO.EE MAKE THEM HUG🤬🤬

AW THATS SI CUTE my momma saw chigiri and asked who's girlchild is that!!?😊😊

idk anything abt money there.. but ik it has more value than mine so I'll be mad SHOULDVE SSVED UP THAT 10 DOLLARS ANS BUY MORE FIGURINES🗣🗣🗣

I started sneezing after reading this I'm allergic to you....😕😕😕

AW THATS SI CUTE BUT HELP FURRY I WISH I COULD DRESS UP FOR HALLOWEEN BUT MY SCHOOL HAS A STUPID ASS UNIFORM AND WE CANT ENTER THE SCHOOL IF WE DONT HAVE THE ACHOOL LOGO ON😒😒😒😒

erm what has happened to me this week🤔🤔 um.. OH we don't laugh.. but long long ago!! I used to play league of legends BUT WITH MY BROTHERS AND MOMMA but I stopped bc someone on dc asked if i stink bc he saw it on my profile but whatever.. I kinda.. wanna play it again.. bc I saw character I like.. PLUS THE NETFLIX SERIES FOR THE GAME ARCANE which I love #VIFORLIFE LEMME AT HER is literally coming out in November ITS SO SOON anyways

ISNT HE LIKE HOT?? it's all the same person but different skins THERES MORE HOT PPL THERE IN HIDING BRO THE PLAYERS JJST SCARE YOU AWAY☹️☹️😕😕😕😞😞

not the heaters.. the heater in our school is the darn sun! only a certain group of students gets AC and only like the library.. my group has fans then classes battle for bc apparently THEYRE TOO BROKE RO BUY ONE😒😒

UMUM ILL SAY REO HELP

[bandforbandlmao]

i hate precalculus im going to start cheating on the internet i dont care anymore i give up ,its fall break and ive been procrastinating for 0ver 3 weeks my house is so dirty because i have not cleaned becasue ive been staring at sheets of paper for 3 weeks straight i dont care anym0ore im not even sorry this is what common core does to a person

byyy the way we dont even get a REAL fall break we get this thing were we have thursday and friday off with a damn virtual day on monday , these pricks that make the rules say they shortedn summer to only 2 months so that they can "disperse more free time throughout the year" b u t i t n e v e r h a p p e n s

All breaks are shortened , the work is fucky as hell, and i dont think i can even excempt my exams anymore because i missed like fo4r days of school for being sickly and shitty coughing my lungs out.

at this point its like saw where despite having exemption slips to exempt my exams, these arbittrary ass rules now forbid me from exempting exams for something entirely out of my control so im basically fucked from the beginning on that part.

do i even care about the grade anymore?? my lowest are Cs so i thought maybe if i just say [fuck it"" maybe i could just move on and actually start making good grades again.

the collateral damage caused by having a growing pile of late assignments has been appalling, i know its my fault i know because i tell myself this everyday.

its no one elses,

the teeny tiny thing is that the more im stuck in the typhoon of my past work, the less i can handle oncoming work.

one thing about this also also is , is that i cant understand new work without completing previous work. but i cant undertand the previos work...cant undertand the previos work...cant undertand the previos work...

one thing about this also also is , is that i cant understand new work without completing previous work. but i cant undertand the previos work...cant undertand the previos work...cant undertand the previos work...

one thing about this also also is , is that i cant understand new work without completing previous work. but i cant undertand the previos work...cant undertand the p

so im just stuck

i have been here for 3 weeks, i have been in a brain fog for 3 weeks trying to understand something that feels so beyond me, and

[baekhvuns]

HEEEEYYYY i am finally FREE from spring quarter EVERYONE CHEER !!! but then i am going to have summer classes starting from next monday so crying and laughing T^T so i hope you do not mind that i will talk about school rq

i just turned in my art final last thursday after i flew in to washington ... jfc i was going through it honestly ... the art final was like a "art history" final. i had to answer 43 questions for multiple choice, do 4 short answer prompts and then a whole essay like what is wrong with this professor ... mind you not, this class is an online, lower-division ge so like why am i putting my whole ass into this

also my ochem prof released grades for the class overall and let me tell you i seriously was gonna cry bc i was so scared if i was gonna pass the class or not ... but ... I GOT A C yk what i am fine with that bc i did horrible on two exams (below avg) and pretty decent on the other (above avg) ... but i feel disappointed that i have been getting Cs on my chem classes so far :( but i think i will be getting my first ever A in the bio class tho !!! which is like kinda bad but i am proud of myself at the same time :")

ok now ... we talk about exo and ateez hehehe (the most important stuff duh) honestly speaking ... took me like 3 listens to fully get bouncy, like i was ok with it on the first listen but yk what i mean? like you just need to listen to it more in order to fully get it ... i also really like this album, like i am so excited to be getting the albums in store when i go back to california YEAAHHH but my faves are dune, django and wake up !!! wbu bff ??? exo is making me CRY with let me in and the fact that they are gonna release ANOTHER mv is crazy like ... ik 2018-2021 me would be CRYING bc exo didn't release that much group stuff back then :(( but i am so happy that they are having a comeback like i need to prepare myself ... i just KNOW i will be SOBBING when i watch the last mv as their like "title track"

anyways i hope you are doing well bff <3 i sometimes read your works whenever i need a pick me up (or i just wanna cry ahem the one inspired my moon lovers i will forever be scarred) and that you are taking care of yourself !!! love ya lots :D

🧸

HELLO !!!! AAAAAA wait omg ur spring quarter just ended??? i thought it was the summer one 😭😭😭

no bc i DONT GET WHAT ART HISTORY PROFESSORS PROBLEMS ARE I HAD THIS EXACT EXAM AND I FLUNKED IT WHFJQHDKWSH & iTS ONLINE???? 🤨🤨

u know what getting a C is underrated relief, like what matters is that we made it 🫡 A & B are overrated grades atp,,, BUT LESSGOOO??? U MADE IT !!!!! it’s not sad that it’s ur first one!! it’s so hard to get A’s in uni and like for what im still waiting for mine but i know that A looks so good on ur transcript 🫡 u should be proud!!!!! u did great!!

i get what you mean completely,, i also don’t mind it now?? like the slow it down make it bouncy is the only part that’s stuck in my mind, it’s a nice song but it has its moments! the album is nice! i just wish ateez do different genres bc this one felt like a guerrilla album dupe to me 😭😭😭 OOO OKAY MY FAVOURITE IS OUTLAW BC THAT BEAT IS NAASSTYY

EXO LAND FINALLY GETTING THE THINGS WE DESERVE????? let me in was so good, their vocals is what was missing 😭😭 AND ANOTHER MV AND ANOTHER MAIN MV FOR THE CB??? 19 VERSIONS OF A GOD DAMN ALBUM???? hoping the sales for it actually goes to the members 😭😭

i hope you’re doing well tooo!!! hope u have time to rest after ur semester <333 AND 😭😭😭😭 UR STILL READING MY FICS THANK U SO MUCH FOR THAT SCREAMING I LOVE U FBWKDJWK

[black-rosewolf66]

Ohh sorry i forgot to make a disclamer to my other shitty life post too…but here it is dont read it if you arent interested in my deep secrets…

So today i wanna stop breathing….i just feel like i dont want to do anything and i have my last exam in like umm tomorrow is monday so after that so in two days…i think i made the right decesion in choosing my school where i could be “happy “and “stress free “over some famous school where you even have to worry about breathing in the right way in front of teachers…

I got tired of proving myself worth…why should i prove it if we all know that low self love makes the other person ugly…and well i can see that in the mirror whenever i have that little sparkle in me that magic called confidence i radiate this inner beautiness or some shit like that…its pretty its cute but its rare…and i have to be happy and if im happy im weak against others half assed” wow your teeth looks ugly dont smile like that”well its not a joke for me in that moment if someone would say something like this to me now i would just look at them shrug my shoulder and smile in there face saying “its better than yours”…but if im happy i hear like really i can hear something shattering something brokes and then i cant stay with that person in the same room i will have a hard time trying to convince myself that it was really a joke and not something i should worry about….i just cant smile for a while after that and even after it it takes so much affort to forget it especially if its heard from someone dear to me…like on of my older brothers said this to me and even after that whenever i smiled i did it with closed mouth…i heard it maybe twice after that and now i even cover my mouth so it cant be seen if i catch that its showing i look in the other direction and discreetly excuse myself to the bathroom while reminding myself that i shouldnt show my ugly side if i dont want to get more hurt than this…im scared? Yes i am but its better being cautious than jumping in everything and getting more broken….i had a moment where i was so hurt that i couldnt see anything and the next thing i know was that i was in my secret hiding place with a broken glass piece looking at it smileing and crying seeing if its sharp enough….that was more scary…seeing myself from outside and looking like that barefooted away from home alone dieing and nobody would know and nobody would search for me if i die at that moment knowing that i dont have anything holding me back because im not myself…because i cant yell at myself if it cant hear me…because im not myself in that moment….i wasnt myself and i couldnt control myself…that was scary having the thoughts of well i cant do anything so might as well see it..and then getting beought back by the pain i did looking in front of me and thinking well maybe i can post pone me killing myself the pain is enough to keep me insane…here im enjoying the pain getting a little happy feom it and than getting enough strength to trow that shit away get my ass home disinfect my wound and wrap it up…hide it so nobody can see it…im a weird person…i discribe feelings with colors if i cant tell you normally….i have this instinct thing that tells me what to choose what to do…i do behave as an animal sometime…but if it gives me a little happiness or a little strength to live than thats what im gonna do and if somebody doesnt like it i will do my best to avoid that person…i only live because im curious about my future…if i give up on my curious self i wont stay nobody and bothing will hold me back….the thought of killing myself is bad boring and etc just isnt enough anymore…after a week of talking about me everyone will get over it anyway even if its bad even if it isnt…even if i kill myself or sell myself or get myself in trouble/killed….so why should i care….

[mikarchive2]

omg im so happy that u managed to find a major that intetests you!! wishing you all the luck on the entrance exams. are u staying in the czech republic or are u transferring unis? also HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! hope your twenties are kind to you and that you have a good day 💗 (i have classes from 9 to 6 on monday but im still down for the brunch 🤭) my final did work out in the end! got it on my last try AHAHA i am glad i got through, even tho i must admit that classes this semester dont excite me as much as they did the last one. i still think psych was a good choice for me tho, so im hoping it gets better over time😌 sending love and kisses!! - your slovak friend

(feel free to make a tag for me also,, im not really creative when it comes to these things)

well it depends on whether i pass the entrance exam but im applying to the same uni ... i have a backup option in case i dont but it would but much easier if i did . 😭 . very happy things worked out for you ! and thank you for the birthday wish etc. but why am i still answering this publicly DMs when brunch when . 🤨 . do you have some time between your monday classes ! or shall we turn this brunch into a sunday afternoon coffee moment . my schedule is very flexible considering im a bloke who does fuck all . still not trying to pressure you of course but also you have nothing to lose if you hate my peculiar swag you can just block me and never see me again in your life . think abt it

[electraheart2012]

it's a crazy situation but all i need are cigarettes and alcohol

[ii-zi]

No depressing vents/terrible medical updates tonight!!! I'm actually in a v good mood jsjsjs

[dearhangyul]

guys it’s finally the start of the semester so i have money again sjdfhsd u bet the first thing i bought was both vers of quantum leap LMAO, i’ll let u guys know how that goes im SOOOOOO excited for them to come AAAAAA

[jbreenr]

Talk Me Out Of It –Bucky Barnes

Pairing: tfatws!bucky barnes × reader

Summary: partying was not your idea of fun... until someone convinced you to stay for one more drink. (Here's the second part)

Word count: 3.7k

Warning: brief talk about sex, mention of a burn scar (is that a warning? I don't know, I'm gonna put it anyway), but none, other than that.

A/N: i'm beer drunk, it's raining outside and i just walked three blocks to get some churros while daydreaming about this so… enjoy, i guess. and tell me why i shouldn't write when i'm not in my five senses. also, let me know if you'd like a smutty second part bc im thinking of something. Lack of vocabulary and grammatical mistakes abound. *apologizes in español*.

Inspired by talk me out of it –Olivia Holt.

ᴹʸ ᵍⁱᶠ

“This is ridiculous.” You spat as you eyed up and down your reflection in the mirror. “I look ridiculous.”

“What are you saying?” your friend stood up from the bed and went to stand behind you. “You look hot. ‘Hot’ is good.”

“I don’t want to look hot, Angie. I don't want to go to that stupid reunion, in the first place.”

Angie spent most of her free time these last weeks trying to convince you to go to the annual high school meeting with her. You had missed the last… Well, all of them. And there was a legit reason why: you had way more important things to do on a friday night than failing to reconnect with old classmates (of which you had already forgotten most names) like, watching a Criminal Minds marathon choking on popcorn or scrolling through social media procrastinating the gradings of the exams you were supposed to have ready for monday morning, for example.

“C’mon! You said you’d do me this favor and I’d help you find someone to fix your pipeline.”

“No, you said that if I did this for you, you’d convince Trevor to fix it for free.”

Angie hugged you from behind and placed her chin on your shoulder, pouting and giving you her best puppy eyes. “Just because my fiance has the soul of a bricklayer doesn't mean that he also is a plumber.”

“Angela…”

“Fine, fine! I’ll tell him.” She raised her hands in surrender. “But I can’t assure you that he’d do a good job. To have the soul and to have the skills are two different things.”

“Why am I going? Isn’t Trevor supposed to go as your date?” He was technically not invited since he was from another generation of students.

Your friend walked to her closet, opened the sliding door and took two pairs of heels.

“He is, but he and Nate are really good friends and every time he appears, Trev goes to get a beer with him and the gang,” She imitated Trevor’s voice, making you laugh. “And leaves me to deal with Jessica and her bragging about all her trips and the expensive shit her boyfriend in turn buys for her.” Before you could say something, she added, “And I need you there to keep me from tearing up the hair extensions off her bleached head.”

The idea of Angie starting a fight with one of the most odious people on Earth played in your head, thoughts of your friend slowly losing patience and blowing smoke out of her ears had you biting your inner cheeks to prevent you from bursting into laughter. Mostly, because she didn’t have it in her to hurt a fly.

“I'll go.” You affirmed, rolling your eyes at your friend's triumphant yes. She stretched out her arms, heels in hand and looked at you, then the shoes, then you again. “But don't believe I'll get in the way if you decide to break Jessica's new nose with the edge of a table.”

“Deal!” She handed you the white stilettos –that matched the thigh dress that was suspiciously your size–, wearing the biggest smile on her face. “We'll have so much fun; we can try Andrew’s weird ways of getting drunk, bet on who makes a fool of themselves the fastest and, who knows? Maybe you’ll finally get Ryan Morgan’s attention and have some in the bathroom of the club.” She winked at you.

“Ew! Shut up!” You laughed it off, not wanting her to start the teasing she used back in the day when it came to your youth crush.

“I’m only saying that you haven’t had sex in what? Eight months? It is time for you to go out, to talk to other adults besides your students' parents and me. Believe me, with that dress and a smile, you could drive anyone crazy.”

You blushed and tried to play it off with a joke. “Alright, stop flirting with me or I’m telling your soon-to-be husband.”

“Meh,” She downplayed the matter with an exaggerated grin. “He knows he’ll always be number two in my heart.”

As she finished the sentence, the horn of Trevor’s BMW sounded repeatedly from outside, urging you to hurry up and scaring Angie to the point she swore he listened to her.

Sighing, you took your small purse and walked towards the entrance.

“Let’s get you someone to bang tonight.” She said as she closed the door.

    

“I still can’t believe you convinced me to come.” There had been only five minutes since they entered the bar and Bucky’s grumpiness was already making Sam regret the decision of bringing the super soldier with him.

“It’s not that bad!” Sam nodded his head to the bartender as a greeting and showed him two fingers, asking for drinks. His usual, apparently. “Remember what your therapist said? You need to make a new friend. What better place than a party to do that? It’ll be easy.” he leaned against the bar and took the glass of whiskey, sipping from it.

Of course Bucky remembered what his therapist said. It was the only thing he had been thinking of for a whole week.

”There are still not many contacts on your phone, James.” The woman wearing a blue shirt and a plain grey skirt sitting across from him said as she checked Bucky’s phone for the fourth time in two months.

The first time she did, she found out that Bucky was not answering Sam’s texts on his old flip phone and she scolded him for that; the second time, she scrolled through a couple of messages between them on the screen of his new smartphone; the third time was not so different from the second; this time, she decided to do something about it.

“I'll give you a mission,” She returned the barely personalized device to Bucky, and took her notebook to write something down. “next week you have to bring me at least two more numbers...”

“I know what you’re doing, Doc, and it’s not gonna work.” He put his phone in his pocket and adjusted his position on the couch. “But, eight for the effort... Oh, really?” he protested when her pen came in contact with the paper again accompanied with a tired look on her face.

“Two numbers.” She said as the clock struck eleven, telling them that their session was over. Bucky stood up and waved goodbye to her. “And they better be real, James!” She shouted from her seat as he closed the door behind him.

Dr. Raynor was being a little too optimistic by thinking that Bucky could start new friendships out of nowhere as if he was the same Bucky Barnes the 40’s knew. More than a mission, it was a challenge.

During a quick visit to Sam’s apartment, he managed to get Sarah's number from his phone without him noticing, but he couldn’t find someone else to add to the list, which reduced things to only one more number.

“I wouldn't be so sure about it.” He affirmed, looking away in search of a potential new friend.

    

Soon after you arrived at the beach club, you found out there was good and bad news: Neither Nate nor Ryan were going to show up tonight. Honestly, you didn’t know which news was which. In line with Angie, it was good that Nate was not there, that way, she’d have Trevor all for herself, and it was bad that Ryan wouldn’t see you slaying –as she previously described– in her lent dress. On the other hand, you knew that thanks to Nate’s absence, your friends would not pay attention to you all night, leaving you alone, but you were relieved that Ryan didn’t attend as well, that saved you from having an awkward moment with Angie trying to make you two hook up.

If you were asked, you wouldn’t admit it, but the place was nice; fake torches were placed all around the dark wooden floor, illuminating the space, along with some light series hanging here and there, walls with tall windows and a glass ceiling allowed the –not so prominent but beautiful– natural light inside, small tables in front of low sofas were strategically positioned on the sides, and a colorful dance floor was saturated with people dancing to the beat of loud music.

“Angie! You came!” Jessica’s whistle-like voice greeted your friend. “Oh, God! Y/N? What are you doing here?” Her exaggerated enthusiasm, the hug she gave you and your forced smile reminded you why you preferred to stay home, eating junk food, instead of interacting with those people. “I thought you’d be nerding as you’ve been doing ever since we graduated.” The lack of tact of her assumption had you almost taking a step forward, you were only stopped by Angie’s hand on yours.

“We’re gonna go find a table but uhm, we’ll see you in a minute, yeah?” Her self-control in those kinds of situations always surprised you.

Saying her goodbyes, she dragged you to the tables near the dance floor, Trevor following behind.

The place was crowded, people walking in every direction, chatting in the line for the restroom or just chilling and singing along to the song currently playing.

When Angie found an empty table, she practically threw herself on top of it to keep a young couple from taking it. Four chairs rounded the table and even though you did your best to sit between your friends, they found a way to be on each other, sandwiching you.

Ten agonizingly slow minutes later, you decided that if you were going to put up with all the cheesiness of theirs, you’d at least take advantage of the alcohol to make it more bearable.

“You guys!” You called, breaking the spell they were in and making them look at you. “I’m getting a drink, you want anything?”

You mentally wrote their order and walked towards the bar. A few people were there, some occupying chairs and others only waiting for their drinks. You spotted a space big enough to make yourself visible to the guy behind the bar.

“What can I get you?” He politely asked you while shaking a silver recipient and pouring the liquid in a cup. After telling him the complicated cocktail Angie asked for, the specifications of Trevor’s special drink and deciding for a simple beer for yourself, he invited you to have a seat so you wouldn’t wait standing.

Chin in hand, legs crossed and a yawn said that your drinks were supposed to be ready a while ago. One of the guys sitting next to you had left his friend’s side to go dancing with a girl, came back and then went to the dancefloor again. At least, he was having fun. The other guy’s back was facing you, his elbow rested on the bar and from your peripheral sight you saw the screen of his phone unlocking and then turning black repeatedly.

Huffing, he went to put his phone in the pocket of his jacket, but the movement of his arm pushed a glass of liquor off the bar and straight to your thigh.

“Damn it!” you spat when the cold liquid made contact with your skin.

Your words brought more attention than you intended. The guy’s (who turned to you with an intrigued expression that fast morphed into a worried one) included.

“I’m so sorry.” he apologized, taking a bunch of napkins and doing his best to dry your leg without touching you that much.

“Angie is gonna kill me!” snatching the napkins from him, you rubbed the growing wet patch in the dress, in hopes of making the yellowish stain disappear. “She's gonna bury me in the woods and then plant a tree near the grave to compensate for the life she took.”

“What?” he asked with a little laugh as he saw you struggling to take the little remains of paper off the dress.

“This thing is hers and Lord protects whoever dares to damage her new wardrobe. I don’t want to deal with an angry Angie ever again. She's the personification of an angel, but even the devil used to be one.” not looking up, you answered.

“And, where’s Angie?” He handed you another napkin.

“The pretty five feet blonde with a blue strapless over there.” You pointed in her general direction, not taking your eyes out of your current task.

“You mean the girl that’s practically eating that guy alive?” Taken aback, you looked at him for the first time that night; Blue eyes reflecting the color of the lights you were under, a short beard framing a plump pink smile, dog tags hanging on a chain around his neck, black t-shirt and leather jacket accentuating his obviously worked body, and a pair of gloves covering both his hands. How was he not melting in those clothes? You had no idea.

After the eternal seconds you drowned in his beauty, you turned to look for your friend, only to find her doing exactly what the stranger said she was doing. Her and Trevor were in the middle of an intense make out session, all thoughts of their upcoming drinks, seemingly forgotten.

“Well, I’m still not taking any risks.” Leaving the ball of napkins you made on the table, you said, “If she yells at me for this, I won’t hesitate to blame you.” The severity in your warning intrigued Bucky. He was not sure if you were being serious or not.

He opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted when the bartender approached you. “An apple, orange and mint Margarita with an itty-bitty tiny bit of cinnamon,” he repeated the way you described Angie's drink. “the weirdest mix I’ve ever done, and a Corona.” he opened the bottle for you and left it to rest on top of a piece of paper.

You took your wallet out to pay for them but a gloved hand stopped you.

“Allow me. To make up for Angie’s dress.” He tilted his head and gave the bartender some cash, not waiting for your authorization. The guy turned from your face to the stranger's a couple of times and with a sigh, walked away to keep working.

“You’ll have to buy more than these to make up for Angie’s absurdly expensive dress.” You laughed while balancing the drinks in your hands, successfully keeping them steady enough for their content not to drop. The piece of paper took off from the bottle and fell to the ground.

You were prepared to leave, but he stopped you for the second time that night.

“How many more?” You couldn’t decipher if he was genuinely asking, mocking you, or being flirty. Your eyes traveled to your friends, who were most likely trying to beat the record of the longest kiss ever performed. The stranger bent down to pick the paper up and quickly eyed it. “They won’t miss you for a couple more minutes.”

You contemplated the situation: you could either go back to those lovebirds, to uncomfortably third wheel them and end up drunk on Trevor's strange vodka, curaçao, white and dark rum mix or, sit again and do all the small talk thing with this guy until his friend came back.

Even though you were mentally prepared for the first option, you put the drinks down and sat crossing your legs.

“Yeah, they're gonna be fine without me.” you affirmed, and it was not only because you spotted Jessica making her way towards them.

Bucky did his best not to look too excited when you decided to stay, maybe his most complicated mission was not going to be that complicated after all.

“I haven’t introduced myself.” He smiled showing his perfectly white teeth. “I’m Bucky.” His right arm rested on the bar and his hand was ready to shake yours.

The politeness of his voice and the little smile he gave you made you giggle. Your palm came in contact with the rough material of his glove as you told him your name.

“I think this is yours.” He placed the piece of paper in front of you.

“It is?” Incredulous, you took it. In black ink were written the name and number of who you thought was the bartender. “Oh, it is.”

“You should be used to it.” Considering how pretty you are, he completed the sentence in his mind.

”Pff, totally. That's the fifth tonight.” You said as you folded the paper and put it in your purse. The statement had him raising his brows in surprise. How was it possible that someone gets five numbers in a night and he can't even get one? “I'm kidding!” You clarified when you saw his expression. “No one ever talks to me. They usually think I have a resting bitch face.”

“He didn’t.”

Various colors danced on his face thanks to the lightning of the room and you only wished to have the red on yours, so he wouldn’t see the inevitable blush on your cheeks.

“He was an exception.”

    

Trevor’s drink was just as strong as you thought it would be, but Bucky didn’t even blink when he took a sip. Still, you suggested to settle on a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses.

Time flew; you were having so much fun conversing with him, finding out that people didn’t get close to him as well helped you stop feeling like you couldn’t act normal around him, the story of what his therapist asked him to do almost made you spit your drink, and your random babbling with nonexistent words in song lyrics in the middle of a sentence had him cackling every time.

    

Coming down from your laughter caused by something he said about his friend Yori starting fights out of nowhere, you refilled your glasses.

His fingers took the neck of his shirt and moved it back and forth, as to shake off the suffocating heat he was probably feeling.

“Why don’t you take that off? I boil just by looking at you.” For the look he was giving, you were sure he saw the loading bar processing your words drawn on your forehead. “Maybe that was not the right way to say it.”

“It’s… complicated.” He simply answered, suddenly shy and apparently uncomfortable.

“A poorly done tattoo?” You couldn’t stop yourself from asking, the alcohol already taking effect.

He took a sip of his beer to give him time to answer. “Something like that.”

By the way he said that, you figured it was a more delicate topic than the name of an ex or a distorted face drawn on his bicep.

“Well, I once had a student, she had this huge burn scar on her leg and she hated it, like, legitimately hated it.” Your eyes were glued on him, but he could see by the softness of your face that you were immersed in the memories, so he let you talk. “She would wear tights under her uniform even if it was hot outside.” You had your glass in hand and close to your mouth, but you didn’t drink.”One day I asked her why she did that and she answered ‘Because I don’t want them to think I’m a monster.’” Your expression was sad now, almost as much as Bucky’s. Not knowing, you had put into words the way he had been feeling about himself for the longest time.

“How did you respond to that?” He held his breath, almost afraid of what you were going to say.

Snapping out of your mind, you opened your mouth to answer.

“Hey, sweetie!” Angie’s voice cut you off. “We waited for our drinks.” Your raised brow told her that you didn’t believe a word she was saying. “Anyway, we’re leaving now. Jessica wants to play this stupid game where we remember the emarassing things we did in eight grade and I don’t want her laughing at the thought of me falling off a chair in the lab. You coming?”

“I--”

“Told you not to interrupt them.” Trevor scolded her as he approached the group, but hugged her in an affectionate way.

“I had to make sure she didn't need backup.” You rolled your eyes but internally (and sarcastically) thanked her for worrying about you.

“It’s ok, but uhm, I’m down for one more drink.” You glanced expectantly at Bucky, wanting him to say that he was too.

He looked around, in search of his friend and huffed. “I think Sam forgot about me, so I don’t really have anything else to do.”

The smile on his lips said that he didn't want to do anything else.

Neither Bucky nor you noticed, but Angie and Trevor shared a look of complicity. Your friend's next words, charged with joy.

“Well then, we’ll get going. Have fun and be safe.” The swiftness of her change of mood when she looked at Bucky was impressive. “You better take care of her.” She pointed at him with a finger, and he understood why you were so worried about her reaction regarding the dress. “I’ll see you tomorrow, girl.” She leaned to hug you and whispered in your ear “He’s hot.”

“Angela!” Your face felt like a tomato. “Just, take her away from here, would you?” You asked Trevor, who saluted you and threw his fiancee on his shoulder, making you laugh.

“It’s the truth and you know it!” She shouted from above the music.

“I'm really sorry about her. She's not even drunk.”

Bucky's amusement was evident, it was the first time he felt that way ever since he visited Sam and his family in Louisiana, and your sweet embarrassment only intensified his happiness.

“I'll pour you another drink to make up for her.” Taking the bottle and filling his glass, you declared.

Suddenly, you felt in a déjà vu, in an upside down reality when he said his next words. “You'll have to pour more than one to make up for her.”

Your smile mirrored Bucky's when you asked “How many more?”

[bibbykins]

Yo, I hope you're good and feel free to answer this whenever coz I feel like world's working against us and just dumping anything to not let us rest (with that said, my university is currently speed running it's way to finals, bro we only had like 2 fucking weeks after our prelims and then bam. 3 am here and at 11, my first exam starts :)

With that said, I'm thirsty for some toxic fiction. In silhouetted bonds, if things didn't work the way Namjoon wanted it to be, what would change? What would happen? Like I'm imagining the mc still agreeing to the plea and going back to that place but I'm imagining her that within two months, she'll suddenly ask to visit him and say that he can do whatever he wants, he can get his pricey attorney whatever, but she's done and that she wish that he'd live a happy life away from her then walk out.

Thanks for indulging me miss ma'am. 🥴😘

Ugh literally you're so right😩 im slowly finishing the other stuff I need to finish to free up some writing time and I'm like vibrating with excitement lmao! I hope things slow down for you too!! And good luck on your exams pls get some rest or promise yourself an immaculate nap after!!!

Also LMAO toxic fiction is just fun to read so I get it! First off, very bold to assume SB!MC would wish him a good life, she is violently vengeful on a good day, buuut her not falling in love with him was a very real possibility for them. If Namjoon hadn't thought of every possible word to say and every possible way she'd react and absolutely fumbled, here's how it would go down:

-He'd take a deep breathe, silence would fill the air until he speaks, "Fine. I'll never force you into anything. I'll leave you alone." They bargain back and forth until he's promised to not meddle in her life more than once. He gets one chance to make an impact on her and that's it. It all ends with him saying a simple, "You know I'll always love you, right?"

-Namjoon would, as a result of the plea bargain not being held up, get out of prison almost immediately

-And then.... nothing.

-A year, maybe two, would go by. Enough time for MC to start to feel comfortable in living life again. She might even make some friends from work, maybe even go on a date here and there because it's been nothing but crickets from Namjoon.

-She would be partially disappointed (bc she's also p unhinged) that he didn't love her as much as she said, but either way, she would move on and get a really great job as an editor for a popular newsite

-Then, only when the time is right, only when she's really found a friend that she loves, only when she's found a friend group both in and out of work that bring her joy, only when she feels like she's found a real life of her own to lead, all hell breaks loose.

-She wakes up on a Monday way earlier than usual because her phone is buzzing like crazy. Something's... wrong.

-That friend she loves so dearly? Hates her now. Their partner is lying and saying MC came onto them, and her friend believes them.

-There's nothing else MC can say, she's blocked before she can get a word in, and everyone else in the friend group feel the same. After all, she never talks about her past, how do they know anything she's said is the truth?

-She had no choice but to face them at work- well, what was her work afterall.

-Turns out, the other slew of texts were that her huge newsite company is filled to the brim with corruption. All around MC she's seen CEOs and politicians drop like flies, she knew something was going on but didn't know what, and she had hoped her workplace reporting on all these scandals just might be safe.

-Protestors scream at her and employees trailing behind her as they walk in to work. Not that she's met with anymore warmth inside with her fellow coworker friends turning their back to her.

-Her whole life in one morning and one haphazard meeting, has fallen apart. The higher-ups want her to lie, to sign off on blatant lies, to pretend nothing is wrong, but she can't. Of course, her coworkers have no problem with it. She's the only fool who walks out of the building.

-She's alone, jobless, and lost in a city that knows her better than she knows it. Once again. All of a sudden, she's 18 again. All by herself, betrayed by the people she cherished.

-A couple months go by and she can't find a job in her industry. She's been predictably black listed after writing an op-ed for a rival paper about the corruption at her old newsite. The hype for that story came abd went and now she's on her way to look at a new, cheaper, apartment to live in when she bumps into... him

-Namjoon looks her up and down, genuine surprise on his face as he greets her with a shy smile on his face.

-He insists on walking her to wherever she's going and well, in her fragile state of solitude, it's like no time has passed at all.

-The pieces fall into place pretty quickly and in no time, she's right where she should've always been. Right by his side, as his Queen.

-He doesn't lie to her when he says the only thing he did in their time apart was ensure she got an interview the first job she applied for... He decides to omit the fact that he knew it was only a matter of time before that corrupt newsite was going to suffer from the change to his leadership. He decides to omit the fact that he knew you were going to be placed on a team with a ton of liars with their own baggage. He decides to onit that fact that he was only genuinely surprised when he saw you again because he didn't expect everything to fall into place so soon 💖

The end lmao I hope this made sense???? Idk im a mess and all the couples I write are too 🤪 Thank you for the ask and good luck again!!!!!