#ILL ANSWER THE OTHER ONE LATER I ALSO WANT TO DO A PROPER ANSWER FOR THAT BUT IM LOWKEY STREAMING MY TUMBLR

[ersatz-colubridae-888]

also how is cadaver doing :face_holding_back_tears: i miss herrr

she's doing good - well, about as good as you could do in this situation.

[rorah]

The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.

It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.

But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.

Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.

I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.

I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.

First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.

Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.

"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."

this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help

The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.

There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.

[collapsedglasshouses]

TANGLED THREADS [Noah Sebastian x fem!reader, Nick Ruffilo x fem!reader]

COLLEGE!AU

CHAPTER TWO: TAKING THE LEAD SUMMARY: Nick knows. And he won’t let it slide. PAIRING: Nick Ruffilo x fem!Reader; mentions of Noah Sebastian x fem!Reader WARNINGS: SMUT, MDNI, 18+ [unprotected p in v, degradation, rough sex, …], no mentions of reader’s name, angst, reader is toxic, toxic dynamics, nick is a meanie but he kinda is right, mentions of nick and reader thinking about noah during intercourse, swearing, its not entirely proofread (ill do it eventually, pinky promise …) WORD COUNT: 2.2K A/N:Holy hell. My brain hurts after writing this. Nick finally made a proper appearance!!! I don’t even know what to say. There is one part left, but don’t ask me when it will come out. Hope you enjoy! Bye bye. READ PART ONE HERE.

You knew it was stupid. You knew you were incredibly stupid for doing what you were doing these past few weeks. You were so deep in this tragedy that the thought of calling your mom had slipped your mind for a reasonable amount of time, but you quickly realized that you were not quite ready to tell your mom that you had slept with two guys in the span of four weeks who, to make matters worse, were also best friends.

You wanted nothing more than to leave what had happened behind you, but for some reason you kept coming back to that one particular moment. Your thoughts revolved around that one night that changed everything. Nick had called you that night to catch up on your day, and you had asked him outright if he was in love with you. You wanted to be the bigger person, wanted to show Noah that you were really just casual with Nick, but when he did not answer right away, you felt something crack inside of you. You liked Nick. Maybe a little too much for your own good.

On the other hand, you really didn't know where to put Noah. You had noticed the way he looked at you before something had even happened between you. You saw how he always seemed a little too close to be just friendly with you. You had noticed the way he looked at you when you were with Nick, and somehow you understood how he felt.

It must have felt similar to the first time you saw him and Nick in that bar. They felt like this unbreakable team. Like a duo that really cared and loved each other no matter what. You had sworn to yourself that you would not try to challenge their bond, but when Nick kissed you just a few days later, you knew it was too late. You were already far more invested than you should have been.

You liked to think of yourself as rational and collected, but you really couldn’t understand the actions you had participated in, these past few weeks. You had sworn to keep your distance, even skipping classes to avoid Noah, but somehow he kept slipping right back into your life. Or literally… into you.

Not once had the two of you talked about Nick as if his name was a curse. But you soon realized that you were stupid to think that Nick would just let it go.

The air in your room was tense as Nick stormed in angrily. There had been weeks of silence and tension since your breakup, but this night would be different.

You sat on the bed, your legs crossed and your eyes fixed on the papers you had to finish soon. You knew exactly why he was here, but you weren't quite ready to face it.

"Please tell me you're joking." Nick hissed, his eyes glittering with anger.

"What?" You asked, your eyes still glued to the screen. Then he threw something at you. You jumped at the impact before examining the piece of cloth. A small piece of black lace with a little heart on the waistband. It was your panties. You vividly remembered the last time you had worn them. You had stood outside Noah's room that night like a desperate little shit.

Your eyes darted to Nick's angry face and back to the garment. Inside you were screaming, but there was also this intense anger bubbling up inside you.

"Could you explain to me why you think it is necessary to snoop through people's things and then barge into my room like that? I have things to do." You exclaimed as calmly as possible while throwing your panties to the floor.

"You know exactly why I'm here. You slept with him, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question, but an accusation that dripped from his lips like poison.

"So, what? The last time I checked, we weren't serious or exclusive." You answered him, the annoyance you felt lacing your words. It still stung. Thinking about how he had gotten to you and how pathetic you were to think he really wanted a real relationship with you. With Noah, things seemed easier. You knew something was there, but neither of you felt the need to talk about it, and you liked it that way.

"He's my best friend, for fuck sake." He said, his eyes cold and distant. If you weren't so sure that this had to do with his ego being bruised, you might have misinterpreted it as some kind of vulnerability.

He took two big steps to stand in front of your bed and leaned down slightly, causing you to close your laptop. "You knew it was wrong. You knew how he felt about you."

You quickly got up from your bed and looked him in the eyes with a fake smile. "And now? It's not like it stopped you from fucking me anyway, knowing damn well how he felt."

Nick clenched his jaw as he studied your face. Neither of you dared look away.

"To be honest, it sounds to me like you are jealous that he actually had the courage to show me how he felt." You almost spat the words in his face.

His gaze darkened, but that only made you ramble on. "Or maybe you're angry that he can get me off a lot faster than you can."

"You're a fucking whore, you know that?" He whispered, his breath hot against your skin.

You didn't flinch at his words, but leaned forward, his warmth radiating off your body. "And you're a fucking hypocrite, Ruffilo."

His eyes traveled to your lips for such a brief moment that you almost missed it. Anger was written all over his face, but there was something else you noticed that made you raise your eyebrows in surprise.

"Wait." You murmured, a small and mocking grin finding its place on your features. "This shit turns you on, doesn't it?"

Nick didn't say anything, but didn't dare to move away from you either, while you started to snicker bitterly. "You're seriously calling me a whore when you get all aroused at the thought of Noah and me together? "You're pathetic."

Nick was silent, breathing heavily through his nose as he stared down at you with such intensity that you could almost feel the weight of his eyes as they bore into you. His hands were clenched into fists and before you knew it, he had grabbed your wrist and was pushing you against the wall next to your bed.

“Noah just doesn’t know how to deal with your fucking attitude.” Nick hissed, bringing you so close that your lips almost touched. You met his eyes, the warmth spreading through your body, while your heart still leaped with pride.

"Noah has a bigger dick than you." You answered him, knowing it was childish, but you wouldn't let it go.

"Yeah, that's a lie." He breathed. "Maybe you need a reminder."

With a quick move, he had turned you around. You leaned your hands against the wall for support as you felt Nick's breath against your neck. You tried to stifle a moan as his hand traveled over the curve of your body, but failed miserably. You cursed yourself internally for wearing only your thinnest shorts, making it harder and harder to ignore his touch against your lower abdomen.

“You still wanna tell me about Noah?” He asked as his hand slipped through the waistband of your shorts, teasing you.

“As if you wouldn’t like it.” You tried to say as confident as possible, while his hand slipped into your panties. 

“Aw, look at you. You’re so invested in Noah that you’re already soaking wet for me and I didn’t do shit.” He mocked you as his finger teasingly flicked over your clit. A stuttering breath escaped your mouth.

“Fuck you.” You hissed, but you also weren’t thinking about stopping him in the slightest. 

“Don’t be like that, princess. We both know you love this.” He snarled in your ear before retrieving his hand, causing you to shiver. You were about to push away from the wall, when you heard him hiss: “Don’t you dare.”

It merely took seconds for him to get you out of your shorts and also get rid of his pants. He kicked your feet further apart, one hand placed on your waist, the other lining up his hard dick at your entrance. You felt precum leak onto your leg, causing you to suppress another moan and you felt how you arch your back in his direction, without even realizing it.

“Look at you. All of the sudden, all desperate for my cock.” He said, as he slowly pushed inside of you. “You can brag about Noah all you want, he still can’t fuck you like I can.” With that he bottomed out, groaning quietly.

You clenched around him. Of course, he was right. But you would rather run into an open fire than admit that to him. You bit down on your lip when he started to move, his pace immediately as brutal as his emotions.

You wanted to say something. You desperately wanted to put him into his place, but you were too busy trying to lower the pleas that left your mouth, while your pussy throbbed with the burning need to come.

You gasped for air, fighting to speak up under the intense pressure of his cock, but nothing besides whimpers came out.

“I see why Noah couldn’t resist you. I think we both like it a little too much to see you fall apart like this.” Nick tried to hiss, but his words came out as a moan. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to moan out his name, as his right hand dropped from your waist onto your swollen clit.

“You sound like the desperate little slut you are.” Nick mocked you as heavy breaths left your mouth. You sputtered, one of your hands leaving the wall to grasp onto his wrist as if it would save you from falling apart.

“Tell me… Who do you think makes you come harder?” Nick whispered in your ear and your mind betrayed you. For a split second you thought about the two of them together. You wondered if they would try to compete against each other. You remembered how Noah’s tongue felt against your clit and with what precision he carried out his acts in comparison to Nick.  

The image alone of Nick and Noah sent you flying over the edge. “Nick - I…” you stuttered, your voice strained. “I’m gonna…” 

“Come on.” He almost ordered, his finger flicking over your clit in fast motions while he hammered into you. “Come on my dick just like you did on his.”

You let out a sharp cry as your head hit the wall, thighs shaking violently as Nick’s hips went on in his brutal pace. You tensed up, your vision becoming blurry as you moaned out his name in a repeating and pleading manner. Nick, in the meantime, didn’t stop, fucking into you in overstimulating manner. 

You felt how his nails dug into your hips, causing you to gasp for air immediately. It felt like something was missing to tip him over, when an idea shot in your head.

“The night…” You breathed out. “when he first fucked me, I was wearing your Limp Bizkit hoodie.” Your voice was so hoarse and quiet, you first weren’t sure if he heard you, but all of the sudden, he let out a groan.

“F-... Fuck you.” He cried out, his hips stuttering ever so slightly, while his grip on your hips became bruising. Without another warning he spilled into you so violently, you could feel each hot splash painting the walls of your pussy.

With a deep breath, he leaned against your back, his head resting on your shoulder. 

It took the two of you a few long minutes, before anyone dared to move or talk. You were sure if he suddenly decided to move, you would simply collapse to the ground. 

“You know, Noah would-...” You wanted to annoy him even more, but he quickly cut you off. “I swear to god, if you say his name one more time.”

Something in his tone had changed though. He wasn’t as angry anymore as he used to be. If you had heard right, he even let out a small snicker.

It took another minute, before Nick slowly pulled out of you, causing you to take a deep breath. You felt how his cum slowly started dripping down your thighs, but you couldn’t care less.

You silently cleaned up and got dressed again, before facing each other. 

“Noah told me, by the way.” Nick confessed, causing you to raise your eyebrows. “He did?”

“Yeah, and we both think the three of us have something to talk through.” Nick then exclaimed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. You started to pick the skin on your index finger, not knowing what was about to come, but you slowly began to nod.

“Text us when you’re ready.”

That was the last thing Nick said, before stepping out of your dorm without looking back. 

There was no way you could ignore that now.

dividers by @saradika-graphics

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 @sitkowski @exitwoundsx

[kings-highway]

TRICK OR TREAT >:]

Aaaaaaaaaa hello hello, welcome, yet another treat for the bag <3

What’s it this time? Well a little bit of behind the scenes worldbuilding from my early days of Paranormality!

Did you know: The original draft (of which several pages are written) centered around first years Daichi, Suga and Asahi being recruited by a literally haunted Kurokawa to investigate the paranormal and potentially find a way to relieve him of the figure that was always following him - it maintained a consistent distance, always just standing, watching, never doing anything more. Although he believes himself maybe just crazy, Kurokawa is genuinely suffering from these hallucinations and needs an answer. Unfortunately, when Daichi reports seeing this thing (before he knew of Kurokawa’s hallucinations) things get a little bit more complicated. The story would have spanned all three years, including eventually a match-up with the Alien-hunting pair of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, who strike up a friendship with our Karasuno crew though they only team up when their areas of interest overlap. There were also potential plans for a Yokai-hunting team over at STZ, in the way that some people try and “hunt” bigfoot. Of course, Kurokawa’s condition gets worse and worse, he gets more erratic, until eventually, at the end of their second year, as he’s set to graduate, he is suddenly hospitalized. (having been driven to hurt himself due to the hallucinations). He is, at this point, diagnosed with schizophrenia. (not in a demonizing mental illness way trust me on this let me cook a fucking second). Of course, with the proper treatment, medications, and being able to understand himself, his circumstances… improve. And the ghost hunting trio is left… a little adrift. Were they really just… chasing nothing? Well…

Except… hadn’t Daichi had seen Kurokawa’s figure before.

And even as Kurokawa’s symptoms improve and he regains functionality… that one, watchful vision is far too solid to be a schizophrenic hallucination, and seems to refuse to waver despite his increasing control over himself.

ANYWAY for various reasons not entirely unrelated to the fact that I was too afraid to write this version for various reasons, I ended up eventually reworking it into the concept that became Paranormality. HOWEVER as maybe a sneak peek, I can confirm that Kurokawa and Kurokawa’s ghost may just in fact make an appearance in the upcoming installments of the Paranormality series. A few other tidbits about this fact:

1. My roommate directly inspired this, because her first reaction upon laying eyes on Kurokawa was a genuine gasp and then “oh that man is HAUNTED.” And then, way later, there is a scene where Kurokawa and Tashiro go to talk with the third years after the stx match and I pointed out a figure in the background that looks like he has no head (go find it if you want) and my roommate, without missing a beat my roommate said: “THAT is what’s haunting him.” so.

2. The story was going to be tonally WAY darker and more intense, whereas I ended up/wanted to give Paranormality a sort of… Doctor-Who/Mary Poppins vibe of just whimsy and horror more in sync, instead of straight ghost stories.

3. The Schizophrenic Kurokawa headcanon is… canon to me. I… wish this character was more popular, but I LOVE him, and he’s entirely a headcanon in my brain. A lot of his behaviours were going to be inspired by a friend of mine who has schizophrenia and became the funniest person in the world because her auditory hallucinations started using MY voice and she kept bringing me things she thought I asked for and I was gonna give that dynamic to Kurokawa and Daichi. But anyway. The point is. Despite it being almost entirely fanon I love Kurokawa and he WILL show up somewhere eventually I PROMISE. And he will probably have schizophrenia

[tangledinink]

Hello! I love your art and I had a few questions for the Swannie AU you have created. I have a lot so I separated them into sections if that helps.

Inventing at the Lake

1: In your April comic, she mentions a bracelet project and I don't think it has been mentioned again yet so... what is it and does it get added to the ensemble upon completion?

2: Aside from the directly mentioned bracelet, what else has Dee created?

3: Does Dee still create things for his brothers and if he does, does he just forget why it was made until he has a good day?

April Specific

4: What does April and Dee do when he has a really good memory day rather than just a nonviolent day?

The Birthday Fight

5: After the birthday fight, does Dee have a slightly more aggressive reaction to Lee on bad memory days?

6: Since Donnie won't remember said fight, does Leo try to celebrate their b-day again (without lying about the date) or does he decided to just not celebrate until they have Dee back?

6: Have any of the brothers visited when the board was destroyed and if so how did they react? (Espically Nardo if he saw it after that fight.)

Gifts and Holidays

7: Have any of the brothers baught gifts for Dee? If so, how would he react? Would they leave it at the edge of the lake if it is an aggressive day?

8: The last comic mentioned that a birthday had passed without Dee recognizing Leo. How have other holidays gone such as Christmas and New Years (being the first ones that came to mind)?

I know Swanatello started as a joke sona, but I think that your world creation is outstanding, especially since you mentioned that you tent to come up with answers on the spot. I may have been taking notes for my own AU world creation and the questions some readers could have. I hope you continue creating because your art is truly inspiring. Thank you and have a nice day. :)

Ahh thank you! ; w ; Answers are under the cut because it's a little long.

This is now answered! :D

He's mostly been working on the Research Board and on trying to figure out how the magick of the lake works and how he could reverse it. He's also been working on a generator so he can more reliably have electricity out here, as well as something that could boost signals so they could get reception at the lake.

He does when he's able! Most of them right now are very small things, as he currently struggles with any large projects given his memory issues. Anything he makes right now, ideally, should be able to be finished within a day or less. It is currently very easy for him to stray off-task or get distracted or sidelined, given that a majority of the time he's not able to fully understand the purpose, nuances, or importance of his 'main projects.' Some days he simply doesn't understand why he would want to work on a dumb research board that doesn't even make sense to him when he could make something badass for his family instead, or go do lake shit. And the research board will still be there later, right? As a result of the above, he has a ton of half-finished projects squirreled away that are intended as gifts for his brothers, but that he wasn't able to complete before he forgot and then later couldn't identify, or projects that he DID complete, but he then forgot about it before he was ever able to gift them to their intended recipient, so now he just... has them, and isn't really sure why.

Leo was terrified of this, but he really doesn't. It's really like it never even happened. Donnie doesn't seem to remember it at all or hold any resentment or ill will towards Leo in the least, and it's honestly almost worse. Donnie doesn't remember what happened, so Leo can't really apologize to him for it, or talk about it with him, or make proper amends. He almost wishes that Donnie WOULD hold a grudge over it so he didn't have to feel so... guilty. But he doesn't.

Leo just decides to let it go and wait for their next birthday, and hope that the next one is better. Trying to celebrate this one, now, feels wrong somehow.

Since the board was destroyed and Donnie relied on it in some ways to aid him with his memory issues, there is a gap between Leo's visit and the next time Donnie is able to recognize one of them enough to not chase them away. About a week and some change. It's Raph who finds the board, and it sort of helps him realize why things have been the way they have been lately, which is... a relief, kind of? But also it's heartbreaking, and it kills him to think that Donnie was hurting so bad and that he wasn't around to help. Not that Donnie understands now what happened to the board or even what its significance is... But that's okay. Raph focuses on comforting Donnie that day, because so much progress has been undone and he's confused and scared, and calmly helps him to rebuild the basic foundations of the board. And they all slowly help him repair it day-by-day after that.

They bring Donnie gifts all the time! Anything from tool kits to books to research documents to stim toys to food to clothing are on the table. If it's an aggressive day, they'll just wait for a day when he recognizes them to give it to him, because they can't really trust that he'll find and accept things that they leave, and they want to be around to make sure he understands what it is and that things are alright. There have been times that they've brought him gifts-- an old blanket, a hoodie, a drawing from Mikey-- and it ends up tripping something in his brain or triggering a memory and ends up leaving him in a very fragile emotional state. It's not always a bad thing, but sometimes he won't realize anything is wrong with his current situation until he's presented with a stuffed toy from their childhood, and then it all hits him. They've realized it's much better if they're around should something like this happen so they can help explain things and provide support.

He's missed quite a few holidays. When they can, they'll come celebrate with him. For Christmas, for example, everyone who visited around that time explained to him that it was Christmas (even if it wasn't the actual day) and they did their best to celebrate, depending on Donnie's current emotional state at the time and what that allowed for. There was some gift-exchanging (Donnie was devastated he didn't have anything prepared to give back!!!!!!), some candy-and-cookie consuming, some snow-ball-fighting, and some Nutcracker-dancing. But overall, the entire thing was bittersweet, because they were so limited in what they could do to celebrate and they all knew Donnie almost certainly wouldn't remember any of the things they did together. The holiday felt very hollow without him home with them.

Ahhhh thank you ; w ; THATS SO SWEET,,, AND MAKES ME HAPPY,,, I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY IT,,,,

[suddencolds]

3, 12, 13!! for asks

Thank you for the ask!!!! ❤️ These are really good questions, I'm excited 🥹

going to answer #3 last and under the cut because... my answer to it is 📜📜📜📜📜

12. a trope you’re really into right now

from a recent wip: a sick character feeling self conscious about their illness + wanting to hug the other character for comfort, but feeling a little too embarrassed to get too close... their love interest figuring this out and offering up that physical affection with utterly no reservation or hesitance :) ❤️

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've enjoyed a lot of media as of late, but nothing has really caught my eye recently in the snz sense. I think it's been awhile since I've been properly into fandom? T.T that said, if anyone writes for Fr//ier//en or Om//nisci//ent Read//er's V//iewpo//int, I'll definitely read it🧎‍♀️

also! There's a book I'm reading currently where one of the characters is... 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I need him to catch a cold expeditiously). But I'm only like 90 pages in... 360 left to see if he does something irredeemable that turns me off from him 🫡

3. how you feel about your current WIP

ohh my gosh... I'm going to talk about yvverse bc that's perhaps the most on topic for this blog 😭 (I am putting all of this under the cut; please do not feel pressured to read it)

to be honest, I've strongly considered never posting another installment for the series (even though I know—and have known for awhile now—how I want it to end). it's not out of any dislike for the series... actually, I feel like I've gotten (almost) everything I've wanted out of it? the last installment (AO pt2) is something that took a lot out of me... I can say now that writing it felt uniquely like I was putting my heart on the line. in short: 1) I am content with what I have; 2) I'm maybe disproportionately scared of ruining something I'm proud of; 3) writing this series has become quite lonely.

ultimately, I've asked myself many times: in choosing to end the series here, would I be claiming a personal victory, or would I just be prematurely giving up on something I still care deeply about? it's something I've gone back and forth on, that I feel uncertain about still.

when I posted FMT pt1 way back in January 2023, I didn't have any expectations for the series at all. but I think for a year and a half it became the thing I cared about most—it was my first proper attempt at a novel. it was also one of the first times I felt like other people cared about something that felt so deeply personal to me. I think when other people told me they liked it I felt like, I don't know. I felt really really happy, in a way I don't even know if I can properly articulate, and in a way that felt so wholly irreplaceable. I don't think I've felt like that since.

WIP-wise: I have written quite a lot that I don't know if I'll ever post: some of it directly after AO chronologically, some of it much later on. there's a small scene that I wrote that I might post on its own at some point, as a somewhat-detached mini-oneshot? I don't think I will ever post the series ending, but who knows? maybe something down the road will make me change my mind. :') (I am so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to unload these thoughts omg... I was thinking of never saying anything, of just silently letting the series sit unfinished. though, I'm not sure if this information is interesting to anyone 😭)

[ Fic Writer Asks ]

[boromirswife]

OKAY so I found this list of OC couple questions (I hope they're also okay to use for OC x Canon couples), and I'm going to answer them for Boromir and Aeroniel because I love them ❤️

I probably repeat myself like crazy, but I hope if you choose to read this you enjoy it 🥰

1. What were their first impressions of each other?

Their first impressions of each other were very positive. Though she was slightly intimidated by him at first, Aeroniel quickly found Boromir to be a very comforting presence. There was just something about him that felt so... safe and warm, and she hadn't met someone like that in years (not that she had met many people, because she was kind of a shut-in). Talking to him felt easy.

Boromir thought that Aeroniel's tendency to ramble was very sweet. He also liked the fact that at first, she had no idea who he was, so she was speaking to him like a person, not looking up to him like he was on a pedestal. I kind of headcanon that Boromir has struggled to have proper friendships with people other than Faramir because everyone sees him as like... a 'hero', and no one really gets to know him as himself. And even though Aeroniel gets all awkward and formal when she first realises who he is, once they start seeing each other more often she treats him like a person rather than a symbol, and he loves that.

2. Is it a casual relationship, or true love? Or somewhere in between?

True love, for sure. I'm too sappy to have them be anything else. They get married, raise their four children together, and love each other for the rest of their lives.

3. What was each of their 'oh shit, I have feelings for them' moment?

The first moment that Boromir realised his feelings for Aeroniel was when she gave him a scarf that she had knitted just for him. Like she gave him the scarf, said something about not wanting him to be cold or fall ill, and he was floored. It wasn't until the situation outlined in Q.5 that he realised he couldn't live without her, however.

For Aeroniel, it was quite an easy realisation. There was no big moment that solidified how she felt, all of a sudden she was like "oh I love him".

4. Did either of them fight their feelings, or was it easy to accept?

Both of them accepted their feelings after realising them, but I also think that they both struggled with believing their feelings would be reciprocated by the other. I imagine they bring that up later and both of them are just baffled, like... "what do you mean you didn't think I could be in love with you? Of course I am, you're amazing!!"

5. When was their first 'I love you'? What prompted it? If neither have said it yet, why?

Okay, so this is very random, but sometimes I like to take little bits of lore from different sources and mix them all together. I read on Boromir's Tolkien Gateway page that in The Lord of the Rings Online, there's a storyline about Denethor betrothing Boromir to Lothíriel. I didn't like the idea at first, but after a little bit of thought I was like "oh, I can use this". So basically, Boromir had never imagined himself getting married. He'd never had strong enough feelings for someone to make him think of marrying, and his position kept him very busy anyway.

Then he met Aeroniel, and he started to think about what it might be like to be married to her... of course, that would never happen. Then, his father started talking about marrying him to Lothíriel, and it terrified Boromir. If he was going to marry, he wanted it to be for love (and not to his cousin), but Denethor was not listening. After a brief talk with Faramir, he practically bolted to Aeroniel's home to tell her how he felt about her. He told her that he loved her, and that he wanted her to be his wife. Aeroniel accepts, of course. They ended up getting married in secret a few days later, with Faramir as the only witness.

6. Who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Boromir's the big spoon and Aeroniel's the little spoon, but I think they're more likely to cuddle with Aeroniel resting her head on Boromir's chest ❤️

7. What was the biggest obstacle to their relationship?

Denethor. Expanding on the things I spoke about in Q.5.: The plan was to eventually tell Denethor about the marriage after a few months, but then Boromir had to go to Rivendell and when his horn washed up everyone thought he was dead for a while. Then, when he came back to Minas Tirith with Gandalf and Pippin and everyone found out that he was alive, Boromir informed his father that he was married. Denethor was probably too far into his madness to really take much notice of Aeroniel though, but I'm sure he'd get a few insults in before his death.

Also, there was the distance between them after Boromir left for Rivendell. Part of me thinks that Aeroniel was pretty mad at Boromir because he insisted on going, so when she hears news of his 'death', she's not only devastated but she feels guilty because she had been mad at him the last time they spoke. All was forgiven when he came back though ❤️

8. What drew them to each other the most?

I kind of talked about this in the other questions, but Boromir is drawn to Aeroniel because she treats him like a person rather than a statue on a pedestal. Like yes, she admires him and thinks he's amazing, but she understands that he's just a man with emotions and vulnerabilities like anyone else. He knows that he can talk to her without any judgement.

What draws Aeroniel to Boromir is similar, in the vein of being able to speak without judgement. After her parents died, she was raised by her uncle who mistreated her and made her feel like there was something wrong with her (for obvious reasons there's no diagnosis in universe, but she's most likely AuDHD), which led to her shutting herself away even after he died. Her and Boromir met each other by chance, but he gave her a reason to let the world in again.

9. How long did they know each other before developing feelings?

They did start developing feelings pretty quickly, to be honest. When they met something just clicked, something that neither of them had really experienced with other people before. While it wasn't exactly 'love at first sight', it was close - though this is Middle Earth, and people fall in love at first sight all the time 😆

10. What is their favourite quality about each other?

For Boromir, it's how passionate Aeroniel gets about her interests. Like he could have no idea what she's talking about but it's the enthusiasm that gets him. For example he knows pretty much nothing about art, but he knows how happy it makes Aeroniel, and he could easily listen to her talk for hours.

For Aeroniel, her favourite thing about Boromir is how he can be so strong but so gentle at the same time. She feels safe around him, both physically and emotionally, and knows that he will never mistreat her or judge her for who she is.

[imeriayapping]

hey!!! how are you doing?

ohmygosh for the liloscar imagine liam having a seat in the alpha tauri and logan and oscar don't have a proper friendship anymore and liam and logan get super close since they were team mates in f2 (i think??? i dont follow them unfortunately but ill read anything you write all ur ideas are fantastic) and then oscar gets jealous like that should be me so he goes to logan and they get in an argument abt this and they both basically declare their love for each other and then logan gets all confused and shaken up because he thought he had a good thing with liam going on and now his feelings are all confused to he talks to liam about it and he says he likes logan too but they want to focus on their careers so they put a pin on it or smth and then later on oscar finds liam in a little breakdown because of his seat and the rumours if he's good enough to move up to rb or if he's gonna be replaced mid season and oscar knows how it feels like to never have ur seat confirmed to move up and basically being treated like shit bc of alpine so he goes and comforts him and liam's like huh ohmygosh how nice and he grows feelings for him too so they all like each other and bam: relationship

and then there could be little snippets of ppl on social media posting abt them because they keep their relationship public but private so they never say anything abt it and ppl just speculate and it's never confirmed

sorry for the ramble, have a lovely day 💕

Don't apologise for your rambling it was amazing to read!!!!

But i would probably go a bit different about it, maybe Logan got that second alpha tauri seat so now they can actually spend time together while his friendship with oscar went a bit still. It takes effort from both sides to keep up texting or meetups and getting into f1 made it harder for them. And then there was last year with Williams that hit Logan pretty hard so keeping in touch was hard. Oscar not really reaching out first, too wrapped in his own team did affect this too.

So now Logan is constantly in close proximity to liam and they are back to their f2 flirting and all that. Oscar mostly see that online in pr vids that they make or something like that and it annoys him because it wasn't like that even with Alex so he gets snappy in any interactions they have which is strange and highly unusual for oscar.

And one too many comments bring logan and oscar into some far away location, maybe even one evening when they stay in the same hotel or something. At first it's very still and tense conversation, but then oscar let something slip and it actually angers logan bc he wasn't there for Logan when everything was shit and liam did so there no reason for him to act like this. Then he admits his feelings not noticing the slip bc of how furious he is. Oscar answers also very heated that he in fact also have feelings for Logan and it all goes on.

They don't do anything about it because Logan needs some space to think but now they at least acknowledged attraction between them which is something

Logan talks to liam about all of this bc they both know that something is there but just never talked about it. And above all else liam is his friend so they literally just talk about it like "i know that i like you and that you like me too but here this thing with oscar and i have no fucking idea what to do" and in the end they decide to just wait till summer break when they can have some uninterrupted time together and see what will come from that

And then happens part with liam breaking down (maybe because he already with rb for so long but now that logan is also here they have practically same treatment and not really any prospects for rb seat bc yuki now have it?)and oscar and liam open their eyes toward eachother and then they all actually get to the relationship part during summer break hehe

[lipshits-continuous]

I know your degree isn’t all maths, but do you have any tips/tools for studying maths at uni?

Hello, sorry this is a few days late, I wanted to give you a proper answer /lh

These are in no particular order of importance:

If you are having trouble with a particular concept or area, talk to someone. A fellow student, the lecturer, your academic advisor, your tutor (if you uni has stuff like tutorials), are even someone from mathblr. In one-to-one conversations, it's often easier to to ask specific questions and for the person helping you to try to frame things in a way you understand

The flip side of this is try helping other people that are stuck. Explaining things to other people helps make sure you understand them. There have been occasions where a certain proof or concept has clicked for a second time when I've explained it to someone else

Practice problems and exercises are invaluable. Not only are they great for building understanding and strengthening memory (as well as developing general mathematical rigour), they're also a pretty effecient way of identifying things you don't understand as well for you to work on. I think I've talked about this before but my revision strategy is to do problems to identify what I'm weak on, and then go over the notes of the weak points and do problems on that specific area until I'm comfortable answering questions in that area again, then repeat.

Remember to take breaks! When you're trying to tackle a particularly hard problem and you're getting nowhere, take a break and focus on something else (probably not other problems). Sometimes inspiration will hit whilst you're not actively thinking about the problem (this has happened to me many times, especially whilst I'm showering haha). Or when you then go to return to the problem, you'll get back into it and realise that the answer was actually no that hard after all, you were just fatigued by spending so long on it. Obviously this won't always be the case, there will be problems that you will need to ask for help on and that's okay too. Learning is about admitting you don't know things

Remember to have fun. University can get really intense and draining and it is good to find some balance outside of that. You might not always find that balance during term time (I'm still working on it myself but my terms are short(ish) but very dense with no reading week so it's quite intense) but even little things like setting aside an hour or two just to listen to music or play a video game can help.

Sort of related to the last point but also read about maths outside of the modules you are taking, especially if they are starting to feel like a slog. Try to find things that remind yourself why you enjoy maths and why you wanted to study it. Sometimes that won't work and it might be a sign you aren't enjoying your degree as much as you thought you would (this happened to me with physics and is part of the reason I switched to doing more maths). Something that I like to do is look at module options for later years in my degree and see what things look exciting.

Get used to self-study because it's a really helpful skill. If you're lecturer didn't explain something well or you missed a lecture because of illness or whatever, you're gonna have to catch up and the lecture notes/textbook are the first port of call (as well as a friend who did attend the lecture, but they might be busy). But developing the skill before you have to do revision for exams is quite handy and independent learning skills come in very useful when you go on later to do research projects. This also includes being able to find other resources that help you understand things, like other textbooks or YouTube videos and finding out what works before for you.

A small sidenote for studying in the UK, especially if you're starting in September/October is to expect lecturer strikes. As it currently stands, it doesn't look like universities are budging so be prepared for disruption. I can't really speak for how this affects specific universities other than my own so I don't want to make general claims.

All that said, these are what I've personally found useful so some people might disagree with me or have other things they'd also suggest (if that's the case please add onto this post).

If you're starting after summer then I sincerely hope your A Level results are what you hope for and that you get into your first choice!

[pompoenwolkjes]

hiii hope you dont mind me asking about your wips specifically fem hyunin and for all us darling aliens 👀 (also im going to answer the ask you sent me soon 🩵)

Hi!! Thank you for asking! I absolutely don't mind, more yelling time for me! hahah

Fem hyunin is actually one that I have changed the plot for two times already and I might switch gears again once I write more hdhd the only clear though my brain had while writing this, was "LESBIAN HYUNIN" and that's it hahaha but I CAN tell you what it's current plot is:

its enganged Jeongin whose slowly falling out of love with her partner. And they both can tell but like each other enough to give it some more time in the hopes that the feelings will return.

And its Hyunjin who accompanies her friend to a family gathering, seeing Jeongin and immediately being enthralled by her.

Likewise, Jeongin is very interested in getting to know more about the beautiful girl who keeps staring at her and who blushes so prettily when she looks back.

Cue lots of Hyunjin pining and Jeongin having way to much fun flustering her, which later turns into Jeongin coming over to Hyunjin's place.

Snippet:

Jeongin blinks at the bottle of wine on the kitchen island. Hyunjin already hurrying over to fill up their glasses. Almost folding into herself, looking small and fragile, nervous. So different to the way she’d beamed when she opened the door to find Jeongin on the other side, unashamed joy on her face before carefully tucking it away. Being so happy about someone else’s fiancée turning up on your doorstep might not be proper, Jeongin gets it, even if she thinks it’s stupid. There’s nothing for Hyunjin to be ashamed of.  Hyunjin’s still fidgeting with the bottle, trying to get the screw-cap off, fingers shaking, eyes downcast. And Jeongin thinks she might know what this is about after all.  Gently she reaches out and puts two fingers on Hyunjin’s soft skin, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes.  “I don’t need to be drunk to like you, Hyunjin-ah” Wide eyes stare back at her, lips parted in surprise, slight blush on her cheeks and god she looks so lovely.

for all us darling aliens is my space au! Chan, Changbin and Minho are a space traveling crew, with Chan and Changbin being humans and Minho a (wild)cat shapeshifter. Changbin and Minho are in a relationship. On one of their travels, Minho gets very ill and Changbin sets out to find a cure for him while Chan stays behind to take care of Minho.

Going through space on your own is not very smart but they can't leave Minho alone or take him on the ship either. Along the way Changbin meets the rest of the skz who are from different planets. Including Hyunjin, who Changbin very quickly catches feelings for while still being in love with Minho as well. And the closer they get to the cure, the more conficted Changbin feels, wanting to get back to Minho as soon as possible but also not knowing what to say about Hyunjin. Main paring is minbinjin (help what are those three called hdhdh) with side seungin, jilix, and Chan joins a pairing but I'm not yet spoiling which one heheh

Snippet:

Seungmin doesn’t try to hide his displeasure when he turns around to face Changbin.  “We don’t have to take this route-” “We need the minerals for Minho,” Changbin interrupts. “It’s not the only planet that has those minerals,” Seungmin coldly points out. “It is the closest one,” Changbin returns, just as blunt. “Finding another planet like this might take us more time than we have. You know that damn well.” Seungmin deflates, looking a little lost instead of the intimidating presence he was moments before.  “Just- don’t make him fight, I- please, I’m not afraid of dying but not him, he wasn’t meant for this.” Hand coming up to protectively rest on the back of his neck like he can still feel the warmth Jeongin’s fingers left on his skin.  “He’d do it if you asked, so fiercely loyal," Seungmin can’t stop the fondness that bleeds into his tone but his gaze is sharp, like he knows his words hit home, knows Changbin isn’t just thinking of Jeongin when he looks over Seungmin’s shoulder, eyes flitting to another fierce little thing. One he’s just as desperate to protect as Seungmin is with Jeongin.

UM SO this is LONG omg sorry I am incapable of making my snippets short dhhdhd

Thank you again for taking an interest in my silly thoughts and letting me yell about them, I had fun writing it down <3

[goblinbugthing]

Bugthing’s brand-new Pinned Intro Post!!!!!!

Hi! I’m Bug, I’m a mentally ill emo artist and fic author. This is where I put my nonsense for you internet ppl to look at.

I’m transmasc, currently identifying as xenogender, and I use he/xey/it/they pronouns. Mutuals, and only mutuals, can use my other neos, blood/bleed and gore/gory. I’m lunian/mspec lesbian, fictoromantic, and fictosexual. Please respect that!!

Currently, I’m into Hollow Knight, the Kirby series, A Hat in Time, Bug Fables, Cult of the Lamb, Rain World, and Fate/Zero. Do be warned, though, I can fall out of these fandoms at any time — my interests are almost always fluctuating.

This blog is safe for minorities! (e.g. disabled ppl, LGBTQ+ ppl, BIPOC, Palestinians, etc.)

I am a minor. Don’t be weird.

Other stuff under the cut!

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My asks are closed. When they’re open again, feel free to ask me stuff about my hyperfixations, or whatever you wanna know about me, as long as it’s not too personal.

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Current works:

Kirby: Soul Journey — My Kirby AU fanfiction, taking place after Kirby and the Forgotten Land. (Read on Tumblr / Read on Wattpad / Read on AO3) (To be rewritten)

Kirby: Soul Journey oneshots collection — A set of oneshots created for K:SJ. (Read on Tumblr / Read on Wattpad / Read on AO3) (To be rewritten)

Hollow Knight: Empty Promises — A set of fics created for my base Hollow Knight AU, Empty Promises. (Read on AO3 / Wattpad link to be added)

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If any of these fit you, do not interact with my blog.

Pro//shippers

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And I believe that’s it! Enjoy your time here :)

[hazel-of-sodor]

Something Holy This Way Comes

Ch.6 Settling In

Other Stories

Other Chapters

 Cassandra quickly settled into life on the Uman and Din. To the engine's surprise, she was already aware of the Great Western Way of running a railway. She ran up and down the line with coaches in proper Swindon fashion, chatting at the stations with all the children who came to see 'Thomas.'

"We have a 57xx named Montague, although he prefers Duck, as our station pilot." She explained one night in the sheds. "He still practices your ways, I often help shunt in the yard while waiting for my return express run to Ffarquhar, and he taught me as we worked together."

"You have an express?" Abbey asked curiously.

"Hardly," Cassandra laughed, "it's a non-stop run with a few coaches between our main terminus, Tidmouth, and my Branchline's terminus, Ffarquhar. The other railway deemed it an express so they could justify me remaining blue."

"You wore Express Passenger Blue!?" 

Cassandra chuckled at Abbey's expression, "Not for long. We got our own liveries back in early 51. But the other railway wanted to keep me blue for tourism purposes."

"The books were already that popular?"

Cassandra nodded, "Many of the kids recognized me when my book was published."

"Why did they recognize you?" Enid asked, confused.

"The war," Cassandra said grimly, "I'm sure some of you remember the evacuation trains taking children into the countryside."

Many of the engines nodded grimly.

"Sodor took many of those children, as we were on the opposite side of Britain from the mainland. The towns of my Branchline were used to house most of the children evacuated to the Island during the war, far away from the docks, factories, and shipyards."

She closed her eyes remembering, "It was rare that I got a moment to rest during the war, but when I did, the children would come to see me. After the war, they started coming back with their families to visit me. I found out about the books from them, they recognized me on the cover of one of the books."

"Why are you Thomas in the books and not Cassandra?" Ceri asked curiously.

"At first it was because the Reverend preferred it. He's old-fashioned and thought I was a 'poor role model' for a lady. Later it was to hide me from the other railway. They don't know I sometimes present female, so I can easily slip past them when I do."

"Surely it's not as simple as that!" Blaidd protested.

Cassandra snorted, "Those who work for the other railway rarely care to tell one engine from another. They see I'm a girl and look no farther."

"Even with the books?" The whisper asked.

"Yes," Cassandra answered before Screech could repeat the question. "They are convinced Caomhnóir is male, and so look no further." She smirked at a dumbfounded Screech.

"You can hear them?"

"Not as clearly as you can, but yes."

***

The week passed smoothly by, with Cassandra receiving a new snowplow on her third day. It was mounted and shaped differently than her old one. It was a straight edge plow rather than a v-shaped and sat further back on her frames. She was skeptical, but reluctantly allowed it to be fitted. Throughout the day she slowly relaxed as the new plow failed to cause issues.

Screech also slowly relaxed as it became clear that the Lady's chosen champion truly had no ill intentions toward her. Cassandra could be fussy and had no hesitation in cutting another engine down to size if they were so much as a second late, but if anything those traits helped her to fit in with the Great Westerns.

Two of her coaches, Annie and Clarabel, arrived the fourth morning, having been undergoing overhaul when Cassandra had left for the Uman and Din. They had been repainted in Great Western chocolate and cream to better fit in with the railway. Cassandra remained in North Western Blue to keep the flow of tourists coming to see her. It quickly became evident that the little blue engine adored her coaches, taking them for a run as soon as they had been checked over by the workshops. The feeling was obviously returned, as the pair had only given a token resistance when the No.1's competitive streak appeared. With the U&DR coaches, she had been careful and precise, arriving early at each station, but only by a minute or two. But when Enid had challenged Cassandra to a race the fifth morning, that had all went out the window. Cassandra had been as an arrow released from Artemis's bow.

She had thundered down the line, steam streaming from her funnel in a straight line from the speed of her passing, Annie and Clarabel shouting encouragement. She arrived at Din a full ten minutes early, panting happily.

 Five minutes later Enid had puffed in, out of breath, and embarrassed. Cassandra's explanation that she had been secretly racing the busses on her line since the forties made her feel better.

"How many times have you lost?" She asked when she had got her breath back.

Cassandra's smirk had answered for her.

Enid had tried to egg Cassandra into challenging Guinevere, but Caomhnóir had snorted, saying "I know better than to challenge an express engine. I got dragged behind a Gresley in the twenties, I'm in no mood to repeat it with a Star."

[eaglet-if]

I want to like the demo but I think it needs some work. the intelligence director's introduction doesn't serve it's purpose, we learn nothing about the character and really have no interaction with them. They are just kinda there because you need to introduce a RO. At the house after being executed you go to talk to the people and it pretty confusing. You now get 3 ROs thrown at you without a proper introduction of the characters we learn nothing about them as characters. There is no clear explanation from the characters in that scene of what the situation is like, the need to evacuate, what forces they have available. No one asks how the MC is doing emotionally or physically not even the friend character. It just jumps to what do you want to name your army and all the people in it missing all the important humanizing moments. Also why are there cat ears in the clothing options I want to take the story seriously but I really can't with that

Okay, so... yes, of course it needs some work. That's what "Work in Progress" means.

Since you refer to them as "the Intelligence Director", I'm guessing you didn't get any of Yakov/Liliya's scenes, which... is an issue. As stated in both the release notes as well as in the posts leading up to the release post on this blog, this is the only route that's finished. Which means what's left is the strategic meeting scene, which, due to the other three's routes not being finished, is only like 15% done, and what's missing is precisely the characters' introductions.

So... not sure how to answer you. You're basically telling me "the things that are missing are still missing", which, yeah... I knew that. Everyone should know that, since it was announced multiple times.

Now, about the other things you mentioned:

Strategic situation: it's made clear that a) your own forces are very small, so you have to leave the Capital; b) this is possible, since the rebel forces in the suburbs are even smaller, and ill-equipped; and c) there's reinforcements waiting to link up with you outside. I don't really know what else you would need to know, and getting told in more detail wouldn't make sense story-wise, because all four characters have their own agendas. MC is not in control and holds no power at this point in the story.

Which brings me to the next issue: none of the characters has a reason to ask for MC's well-being. On the one hand they already know about MC's exact health situation - they were the ones who organized your rescue, after all, and you didn't magically recover, there must've been medical treatment organized by, well, guess who - and, on the other hand, apart from Yakov/Liliya (who isn't the type to show concern in a room full of people), none of the characters care about MC as a person at this point.

Cat ears in clothing options, well... I'll consider making a slimmed-down wardrobe selection for this specific scene instead of linking to the general wardrobe (though it might cause people to miss options), but I will not remove any of the silly stuff. Despite its serious themes, this is primarily a romance and dress-up game apart from the later strategy/army-building aspects, so it doesn't need to be that serious. I understand why people would misjudge that considering all the heavy stuff in the Prologue, but they'll have to adapt.

[mxhirus]

Does Yuu have an inferiority complex?

I was thinking about ONS as of recent, and something came to mind. Does Yuu have an inferiority complex? And I'm about to answer this question in this post. Feel free to comment on it ^_^

To start with, what is an inferiority complex? By definition "an unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behavior in compensation." When it comes to symptoms, it includes low self esteem, abandonment issues (can be formed/stems from it), thoughts of death, self deprecation, the craving of praise, etc.

Yuu appears to find himself to be inadequate in the sense that he was not strong enough to be able to save his family, and protect them or anyone else. He deems himself "useless" and "weak" which becomes his driving force to prove everyone else wrong, and that he has the potential/capabilities to become strong.

It's established pretty early on that Yuu wants to kill himself, and that after his family died; he wanted to die too. This is because he was angry at himself that he was somehow alive, despite being able to do nothing to save his family. How is someone as useless as him is alive, when the others were dead? This was sort of a question for him. It's already established that he has survivor's guilt, which in my opinion probably plays into this.

"I've lived enough. I considered suicide every day... But I stuck it out, doing what it took to live this long. You could at least praise me for that."

This is something that Yuu said. [CH. 119, page 29]. Essentially, he explains how he had no reason to live; and that he wanted to die. But, he didn't because he would feel guilty (because it'd mean he gives up on Mika). However, he also states that a major driving force was finding someone to live for. He wants to be praised because even living on was tough for him. People who have an inferiority complex tend to crave praise, or reassurance inherently.

A sign of an inferiority complex is also aggressive behavior. Yuu has always been relatively aggressive and closed off, which is most likely because of the great deal of trauma he experienced early on in life when his parents attempted to murder him. This honestly just got worse when the orphanage kids were massacred, just as Yuu was beginning to open up and trust them. So, later on, when he demands that he wishes to kill the vampires and thinks he's strong enough, he sort of finds that he has to prove he's good enough. How does Yuu choose to do that? By being an absolute idiot and charging into extremely dire situations without the proper gear and a plan.

Yuu's aggressive behavior is relatively prominent, but it sort of fades when Mika is present in his life, seeing as he had guilt for "leaving Mika to die" left over within himself.

"I want to die. How come I had to survive? Somebody kill me. I'm an ugly, worthless devil. Don't leave me. I don't wanna be alone. I wanna die. I wish I never existed."

Yet again, another thing Yuu has said [CH. 104 page 23]. Yuu's survivor's guilt is displayed pretty well here. He feels like shit because he somehow managed to live, but he in fact, wishes the exact opposite. He wished he too, was slaughtered. And then, he begins to self-deprecate himself. He considers himself to be "ugly" and "worthless". He believes himself to be these things because he survived, of all people. He, the child his parents once called a devil survived. I think this sort of serves enough proof of how mentally ill he is.

TL;DR Yuu basically shows a lot of symptoms and behaviors similar to that and is fucked as hell

[aboutanancientenquiry]

"Why is Plutarch so Angry about Herodotus?

Answer by Bryant Kirkland

This is a good question, and I will scrape only the tip of the iceberg here in saying that Plutarch’s problems with Herodotus have a lot to do with Plutarch’s ideas about representation, both of one’s character and of historical events as represented in writing. From Plutarch’s perspective, Herodotus has gotten away with murdering the facts, as it were, and Plutarch wants to convict him not only of his intellectual crimes but also of the malicious intent that motivated them.

The relevant text for thinking about this question is Plutarch’s On the Malice of Herodotus (de malignitate Herodoti), likely written in Plutarch’s later years when he was preparing to write the Parallel Lives and reading a lot of Herodotus. Plutarch writes in the opening sections that he is setting out to defend ‘our ancestors and the truth’ from what he calls Herodotus’s ‘malice’. This word translates the Greek term kakoêtheia, whose component parts could be more literally translated as ‘bad character’ or ‘ill temperament’. That bit about the ancestors is important, too. As many scholars have noted, Plutarch has decidedly patriotic interests in the treatise and spends a good amount of time critiquing Herodotus’s presentation of Thebes, near Plutarch’s place of birth. If you’re familiar with the Iliad’s Catalogue of Ships or the so-called Serpent Column that memorialized the city-states that resisted Persia, you’ll know that ancient Greeks (though of course not just ancient Greeks) were serious about proper acknowledgment of various places’ efforts in larger causes. Plutarch was no exception, and his belief that Herodotus improperly represented certain places must have been one motivating factor for his treatise. But that’s not all.

Plutarch in that opening section foregrounds the issue the really underlies his diatribe: Herodotus’ character (êthos). Plutarch would have us believe that Herodotus is a kind of literary con artist. The signature flaw of Herodotus’ Histories – the flaw that undergirds all of its errors – is that Herodotus is not who he poses to be: he seems like a good person who wants to tell the truth, but he is not. His mistakes are not innocent errors of fact or the product of bad research, but are instead purposeful distortions. And only a person of churlish and mean-spirited character would purposefully distort the truth or cast needless aspersion on others. Herodotus’ alluring writerly qualities therefore make his falsehoods, fabrications, omissions, and subtle acts of slander hard to detect, but all the same he can’t help, like some thief in hasty flight, leaving ‘traces’ or ‘footprints’ that allow us to spot his deceit, Plutarch says.

An example: according to Plutarch, Herodotus shows his bad character in his choosing to distort the truth under the guise of offering something accurate or laudatory. Plutarch complains at one point about Herodotus’s report (Hdt. 6.106.3-107.1) that the Spartans arrived late to Marathon because of a religious obligation to wait for the full moon before setting off on military campaign. Plutarch claims that this is not always true, and that Spartans did on other occasions march out before the full moon. Regardless of the accuracy of Plutarch’s claim, the essential point for him is that Herodotus suppresses evidence about the Spartans, thereby betraying his bias against them. A little later in the treatise Plutarch contends that Herodotus’ praise of Athens (7.139) does not really count as genuine praise, but rather ‘he praises the Athenians that he may speak ill of all the rest’, including of course Sparta. For Plutarch, Herodotus only attempts to conceal his biases behind explanatory statements (such as that about Spartan religion) or statements of apparent praise (when in fact he is dissing the rest of Greece, not really lauding Athens – a city that Herodotus anyway depicts inconsistently, per Plutarch). So the very mechanics of Herodotus’s historical composition, however ‘accurate’ they look, both conceal and (if you’re reading carefully) reveal Herodotus’s skulking bad spirit.

Now, you might still ask: isn’t history (ideally) about telling the truth? Isn’t Plutarch strait-jacketing Herodotus into offering an uplifting, ‘patriotic’ version of history? (And don’t think these visions of history have gone away: witness the proposals to teach ‘patriotic history’ in certain parts of the United States over the past few years especially.) Here one might recall Plutarch’s philosophical tendencies. He did not think that things that consisted of a fundamentally good essence should be represented in a bad way. As a comparison, consider how Plato (or Socrates) is worried about Homer’s representation of the gods. If the gods are good and just, is it right for Homer to represent them as petty and wilful? Similarly, if the Persian Wars did what many Greeks of Plutarch’s time wanted to think they did – kept Greece ‘free’, and brought different groups together in an act of resistance – then Herodotus has just too many ambiguities and opaque patches to be considered an accurate witness. To be sure, there is some circular thinking here, but in the end, Plutarch can convict Herodotus of being something of a failed artist who has cruelly painted ugly moles and zits on what Plutarch takes to be a clean complexion.

I encourage you to read the treatise for yourself and see what you think. And if you have access to an academic library, I recommend these helpful pieces of scholarship: John Marincola’s 1994 essay ‘Plutarch’s Refutation of Herodotus’ (in Ancient World 25.2: 191-203); Christopher Pelling’s 2007 chapter ‘De Malignitate Plutarchi: Plutarch, Herodotus, and the Persian Wars’ (in E. Bridges, E. Hall, and P.J. Rhodes (eds.) Cultural Responses to the Persian Wars, 472 BCE – 2003 CE. Oxford: 145-64); pages 9-34 especially of Emily Baragwanath’s Motivation and Narrative in Herodotus (Oxford 2008); and Geert Roskam’s 2017 essay ‘Discussing the past: Moral virtue, truth, and benevolence in Plutarch’s On the Malice of Herodotus’ (in A. Georgiadou and K. Oikonomopoulou (eds.) Space, Time and Language in Plutarch. Berlin: 161-74)."

From the site of Herodotus Helpline.

[definitelynotshouting]

Hey friend, I am absolutely rotating the HECK out of Hunger AU rn. I just binged all of the tagged posts and I'm going FERAL! Watchers being like parasitic wasps? Listeners being like fungi? Absolutely based takes.

I'm very much a fan of the emotional realism going on and I'm so terrified of Angry!Mumbo. Like. Bro doesn't get all that angry that often those folks are the scariest properly pissed.

And I relate far too much to the Search Party tbh. Something about the themes of mental and physical illness, wanting to help but not knowing how, the one you want to help not wanting help at this point, the resentment that causes on both sides of that stalemate... yeah I've been there.

Also, I am insanely curious about the ecological niche that Watchers and Listeners fulfill. Like. There has to be a reason they are the way they are. I'm insanely curious about what the environment they evolved in looked like, and even more curious as to what they provide back to the universe in return.

Like. Irl most wasps are predatory insects, controlling the population of pests and invasive species, but the tidbits you've given us about how they feed on emotions and the groups they feed on put me more in mind of, like, herding dogs. Yknow? Does that make sense? Gathering players together and moving them away from half abandoned worlds to let them dissolve back into the greater code. Maybe interviening in virus-infected worlds or virus-vulrable worlds, encouraging those players to move or perish.

And Listeners, well, fungi occupy so many diverse niches they could do just about anything, really. It's very fun to think about and I am rotating them vigorously, thank you for feeding us so well <3

(May I be 🐸 anon?)

This is such a sweet ask i am so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 abt it, im really pleased that you're enjoying the emotional realism ive committed to for this fic, because thats just such an important aspect for me-- my goal here is to depict a deeply emotional, moving, and messy situation about illness and recovery where no one's feelings are punished or demonized by the narrative. Its just so, so important to me that the Search Party (and later on, the other hermits) get their emotions properly respected and explored. Its not just about Grian, even if he is the ultimate focus-- everyone else deserves varied, emotional responses to an ugly and terrifying situation where theres hurt on all sides. This is the kind of realism i love putting in all of my writing, and the kind of justice i want to do for all characters in stories like these!!

Its a little funny how this au originally started with me brainrotting absently about Watcher biology because i wanted to explore the idea of Grian pretending to be an avian and finding certain aspects of it deeply uncomfortable. And then it just. Snowballed into this!! And now i am chewing on worldbuilding for breakfast DKXNSJDJ im really glad you enjoy the Watchers and Listeners lore!!! I need to make a proper post on Devs (or dev crystals, as theyre actually called), as well as general code structure, bc they are both so fucking cool as well

I absolutely love your herding dog analogy, and its giving me some great ideas because for the longest time i couldnt quite figure out what exactly a Watcher's ecological niche was beyond predator to Players and prey for something else that's extinct. But now im really looking at the connection between Watchers feeding habits and Players' biological need for play (or dreams, if you want to get into the minecraft end poem of it all), and theres something there that i really wanna take some time to tease out before i give a concrete answer. I need to update my hunger au masterlist LOL i am saur behind 😭

Anyway this was such a lovely ask to sink my teeth into!!!! Thank you so much for sending it, and ofc you can be frog anon!!! This was a really stimulating conversation for me so thank you again for getting my brain whirring :D i hope to see you in the inbox again!!