#ILL ANSWER THE OTHER ONE LATER I ALSO WANT TO DO A PROPER ANSWER FOR THAT BUT IM LOWKEY STREAMING MY TUMBLR
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ersatz-colubridae-888 · 2 months ago
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also how is cadaver doing :face_holding_back_tears: i miss herrr
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she's doing good - well, about as good as you could do in this situation.
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rorah · 10 months ago
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The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.
It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.
But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.
Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.
I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.
I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.
First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.
Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.
"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."
this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help
The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.
There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.
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kings-highway · 2 months ago
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TRICK OR TREAT >:]
Aaaaaaaaaa hello hello, welcome, yet another treat for the bag <3
What’s it this time? Well a little bit of behind the scenes worldbuilding from my early days of Paranormality!
Did you know: The original draft (of which several pages are written) centered around first years Daichi, Suga and Asahi being recruited by a literally haunted Kurokawa to investigate the paranormal and potentially find a way to relieve him of the figure that was always following him - it maintained a consistent distance, always just standing, watching, never doing anything more. Although he believes himself maybe just crazy, Kurokawa is genuinely suffering from these hallucinations and needs an answer. Unfortunately, when Daichi reports seeing this thing (before he knew of Kurokawa’s hallucinations) things get a little bit more complicated. The story would have spanned all three years, including eventually a match-up with the Alien-hunting pair of Oikawa and Iwaizumi, who strike up a friendship with our Karasuno crew though they only team up when their areas of interest overlap. There were also potential plans for a Yokai-hunting team over at STZ, in the way that some people try and “hunt” bigfoot. Of course, Kurokawa’s condition gets worse and worse, he gets more erratic, until eventually, at the end of their second year, as he’s set to graduate, he is suddenly hospitalized. (having been driven to hurt himself due to the hallucinations). He is, at this point, diagnosed with schizophrenia. (not in a demonizing mental illness way trust me on this let me cook a fucking second). Of course, with the proper treatment, medications, and being able to understand himself, his circumstances… improve. And the ghost hunting trio is left… a little adrift. Were they really just… chasing nothing? Well…
Except… hadn’t Daichi had seen Kurokawa’s figure before.
And even as Kurokawa’s symptoms improve and he regains functionality… that one, watchful vision is far too solid to be a schizophrenic hallucination, and seems to refuse to waver despite his increasing control over himself.
ANYWAY for various reasons not entirely unrelated to the fact that I was too afraid to write this version for various reasons, I ended up eventually reworking it into the concept that became Paranormality. HOWEVER as maybe a sneak peek, I can confirm that Kurokawa and Kurokawa’s ghost may just in fact make an appearance in the upcoming installments of the Paranormality series. A few other tidbits about this fact:
1. My roommate directly inspired this, because her first reaction upon laying eyes on Kurokawa was a genuine gasp and then “oh that man is HAUNTED.” And then, way later, there is a scene where Kurokawa and Tashiro go to talk with the third years after the stx match and I pointed out a figure in the background that looks like he has no head (go find it if you want) and my roommate, without missing a beat my roommate said: “THAT is what’s haunting him.” so.
2. The story was going to be tonally WAY darker and more intense, whereas I ended up/wanted to give Paranormality a sort of… Doctor-Who/Mary Poppins vibe of just whimsy and horror more in sync, instead of straight ghost stories.
3. The Schizophrenic Kurokawa headcanon is… canon to me. I… wish this character was more popular, but I LOVE him, and he’s entirely a headcanon in my brain. A lot of his behaviours were going to be inspired by a friend of mine who has schizophrenia and became the funniest person in the world because her auditory hallucinations started using MY voice and she kept bringing me things she thought I asked for and I was gonna give that dynamic to Kurokawa and Daichi. But anyway. The point is. Despite it being almost entirely fanon I love Kurokawa and he WILL show up somewhere eventually I PROMISE. And he will probably have schizophrenia
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tangledinink · 1 year ago
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Hello! I love your art and I had a few questions for the Swannie AU you have created. I have a lot so I separated them into sections if that helps.
Inventing at the Lake
1: In your April comic, she mentions a bracelet project and I don't think it has been mentioned again yet so... what is it and does it get added to the ensemble upon completion?
2: Aside from the directly mentioned bracelet, what else has Dee created?
3: Does Dee still create things for his brothers and if he does, does he just forget why it was made until he has a good day?
April Specific
4: What does April and Dee do when he has a really good memory day rather than just a nonviolent day?
The Birthday Fight
5: After the birthday fight, does Dee have a slightly more aggressive reaction to Lee on bad memory days?
6: Since Donnie won't remember said fight, does Leo try to celebrate their b-day again (without lying about the date) or does he decided to just not celebrate until they have Dee back?
6: Have any of the brothers visited when the board was destroyed and if so how did they react? (Espically Nardo if he saw it after that fight.)
Gifts and Holidays
7: Have any of the brothers baught gifts for Dee? If so, how would he react? Would they leave it at the edge of the lake if it is an aggressive day?
8: The last comic mentioned that a birthday had passed without Dee recognizing Leo. How have other holidays gone such as Christmas and New Years (being the first ones that came to mind)?
I know Swanatello started as a joke sona, but I think that your world creation is outstanding, especially since you mentioned that you tent to come up with answers on the spot. I may have been taking notes for my own AU world creation and the questions some readers could have. I hope you continue creating because your art is truly inspiring. Thank you and have a nice day. :)
Ahh thank you! ; w ; Answers are under the cut because it's a little long.
This is now answered! :D
He's mostly been working on the Research Board and on trying to figure out how the magick of the lake works and how he could reverse it. He's also been working on a generator so he can more reliably have electricity out here, as well as something that could boost signals so they could get reception at the lake.
He does when he's able! Most of them right now are very small things, as he currently struggles with any large projects given his memory issues. Anything he makes right now, ideally, should be able to be finished within a day or less. It is currently very easy for him to stray off-task or get distracted or sidelined, given that a majority of the time he's not able to fully understand the purpose, nuances, or importance of his 'main projects.' Some days he simply doesn't understand why he would want to work on a dumb research board that doesn't even make sense to him when he could make something badass for his family instead, or go do lake shit. And the research board will still be there later, right? As a result of the above, he has a ton of half-finished projects squirreled away that are intended as gifts for his brothers, but that he wasn't able to complete before he forgot and then later couldn't identify, or projects that he DID complete, but he then forgot about it before he was ever able to gift them to their intended recipient, so now he just... has them, and isn't really sure why.
Leo was terrified of this, but he really doesn't. It's really like it never even happened. Donnie doesn't seem to remember it at all or hold any resentment or ill will towards Leo in the least, and it's honestly almost worse. Donnie doesn't remember what happened, so Leo can't really apologize to him for it, or talk about it with him, or make proper amends. He almost wishes that Donnie WOULD hold a grudge over it so he didn't have to feel so... guilty. But he doesn't.
Leo just decides to let it go and wait for their next birthday, and hope that the next one is better. Trying to celebrate this one, now, feels wrong somehow.
Since the board was destroyed and Donnie relied on it in some ways to aid him with his memory issues, there is a gap between Leo's visit and the next time Donnie is able to recognize one of them enough to not chase them away. About a week and some change. It's Raph who finds the board, and it sort of helps him realize why things have been the way they have been lately, which is... a relief, kind of? But also it's heartbreaking, and it kills him to think that Donnie was hurting so bad and that he wasn't around to help. Not that Donnie understands now what happened to the board or even what its significance is... But that's okay. Raph focuses on comforting Donnie that day, because so much progress has been undone and he's confused and scared, and calmly helps him to rebuild the basic foundations of the board. And they all slowly help him repair it day-by-day after that.
They bring Donnie gifts all the time! Anything from tool kits to books to research documents to stim toys to food to clothing are on the table. If it's an aggressive day, they'll just wait for a day when he recognizes them to give it to him, because they can't really trust that he'll find and accept things that they leave, and they want to be around to make sure he understands what it is and that things are alright. There have been times that they've brought him gifts-- an old blanket, a hoodie, a drawing from Mikey-- and it ends up tripping something in his brain or triggering a memory and ends up leaving him in a very fragile emotional state. It's not always a bad thing, but sometimes he won't realize anything is wrong with his current situation until he's presented with a stuffed toy from their childhood, and then it all hits him. They've realized it's much better if they're around should something like this happen so they can help explain things and provide support.
He's missed quite a few holidays. When they can, they'll come celebrate with him. For Christmas, for example, everyone who visited around that time explained to him that it was Christmas (even if it wasn't the actual day) and they did their best to celebrate, depending on Donnie's current emotional state at the time and what that allowed for. There was some gift-exchanging (Donnie was devastated he didn't have anything prepared to give back!!!!!!), some candy-and-cookie consuming, some snow-ball-fighting, and some Nutcracker-dancing. But overall, the entire thing was bittersweet, because they were so limited in what they could do to celebrate and they all knew Donnie almost certainly wouldn't remember any of the things they did together. The holiday felt very hollow without him home with them.
Ahhhh thank you ; w ; THATS SO SWEET,,, AND MAKES ME HAPPY,,, I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY IT,,,,
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suddencolds · 2 months ago
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3, 12, 13!! for asks
Thank you for the ask!!!! ❤️ These are really good questions, I'm excited 🥹
going to answer #3 last and under the cut because... my answer to it is 📜📜📜📜📜
12. a trope you’re really into right now
from a recent wip: a sick character feeling self conscious about their illness + wanting to hug the other character for comfort, but feeling a little too embarrassed to get too close... their love interest figuring this out and offering up that physical affection with utterly no reservation or hesitance :) ❤️
13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for
I've enjoyed a lot of media as of late, but nothing has really caught my eye recently in the snz sense. I think it's been awhile since I've been properly into fandom? T.T that said, if anyone writes for Fr//ier//en or Om//nisci//ent Read//er's V//iewpo//int, I'll definitely read it🧎‍♀️
also! There's a book I'm reading currently where one of the characters is... 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I need him to catch a cold expeditiously). But I'm only like 90 pages in... 360 left to see if he does something irredeemable that turns me off from him 🫡
3. how you feel about your current WIP
ohh my gosh... I'm going to talk about yvverse bc that's perhaps the most on topic for this blog 😭 (I am putting all of this under the cut; please do not feel pressured to read it)
to be honest, I've strongly considered never posting another installment for the series (even though I know—and have known for awhile now—how I want it to end). it's not out of any dislike for the series... actually, I feel like I've gotten (almost) everything I've wanted out of it? the last installment (AO pt2) is something that took a lot out of me... I can say now that writing it felt uniquely like I was putting my heart on the line. in short: 1) I am content with what I have; 2) I'm maybe disproportionately scared of ruining something I'm proud of; 3) writing this series has become quite lonely.
ultimately, I've asked myself many times: in choosing to end the series here, would I be claiming a personal victory, or would I just be prematurely giving up on something I still care deeply about? it's something I've gone back and forth on, that I feel uncertain about still.
when I posted FMT pt1 way back in January 2023, I didn't have any expectations for the series at all. but I think for a year and a half it became the thing I cared about most—it was my first proper attempt at a novel. it was also one of the first times I felt like other people cared about something that felt so deeply personal to me. I think when other people told me they liked it I felt like, I don't know. I felt really really happy, in a way I don't even know if I can properly articulate, and in a way that felt so wholly irreplaceable. I don't think I've felt like that since.
WIP-wise: I have written quite a lot that I don't know if I'll ever post: some of it directly after AO chronologically, some of it much later on. there's a small scene that I wrote that I might post on its own at some point, as a somewhat-detached mini-oneshot? I don't think I will ever post the series ending, but who knows? maybe something down the road will make me change my mind. :') (I am so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to unload these thoughts omg... I was thinking of never saying anything, of just silently letting the series sit unfinished. though, I'm not sure if this information is interesting to anyone 😭)
[ Fic Writer Asks ]
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boromirswife · 4 months ago
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OKAY so I found this list of OC couple questions (I hope they're also okay to use for OC x Canon couples), and I'm going to answer them for Boromir and Aeroniel because I love them ❤️
I probably repeat myself like crazy, but I hope if you choose to read this you enjoy it 🥰
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1. What were their first impressions of each other?
Their first impressions of each other were very positive. Though she was slightly intimidated by him at first, Aeroniel quickly found Boromir to be a very comforting presence. There was just something about him that felt so... safe and warm, and she hadn't met someone like that in years (not that she had met many people, because she was kind of a shut-in). Talking to him felt easy.
Boromir thought that Aeroniel's tendency to ramble was very sweet. He also liked the fact that at first, she had no idea who he was, so she was speaking to him like a person, not looking up to him like he was on a pedestal. I kind of headcanon that Boromir has struggled to have proper friendships with people other than Faramir because everyone sees him as like... a 'hero', and no one really gets to know him as himself. And even though Aeroniel gets all awkward and formal when she first realises who he is, once they start seeing each other more often she treats him like a person rather than a symbol, and he loves that.
2. Is it a casual relationship, or true love? Or somewhere in between?
True love, for sure. I'm too sappy to have them be anything else. They get married, raise their four children together, and love each other for the rest of their lives.
3. What was each of their 'oh shit, I have feelings for them' moment?
The first moment that Boromir realised his feelings for Aeroniel was when she gave him a scarf that she had knitted just for him. Like she gave him the scarf, said something about not wanting him to be cold or fall ill, and he was floored. It wasn't until the situation outlined in Q.5 that he realised he couldn't live without her, however.
For Aeroniel, it was quite an easy realisation. There was no big moment that solidified how she felt, all of a sudden she was like "oh I love him".
4. Did either of them fight their feelings, or was it easy to accept?
Both of them accepted their feelings after realising them, but I also think that they both struggled with believing their feelings would be reciprocated by the other. I imagine they bring that up later and both of them are just baffled, like... "what do you mean you didn't think I could be in love with you? Of course I am, you're amazing!!"
5. When was their first 'I love you'? What prompted it? If neither have said it yet, why?
Okay, so this is very random, but sometimes I like to take little bits of lore from different sources and mix them all together. I read on Boromir's Tolkien Gateway page that in The Lord of the Rings Online, there's a storyline about Denethor betrothing Boromir to Lothíriel. I didn't like the idea at first, but after a little bit of thought I was like "oh, I can use this". So basically, Boromir had never imagined himself getting married. He'd never had strong enough feelings for someone to make him think of marrying, and his position kept him very busy anyway.
Then he met Aeroniel, and he started to think about what it might be like to be married to her... of course, that would never happen. Then, his father started talking about marrying him to Lothíriel, and it terrified Boromir. If he was going to marry, he wanted it to be for love (and not to his cousin), but Denethor was not listening. After a brief talk with Faramir, he practically bolted to Aeroniel's home to tell her how he felt about her. He told her that he loved her, and that he wanted her to be his wife. Aeroniel accepts, of course. They ended up getting married in secret a few days later, with Faramir as the only witness.
6. Who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Boromir's the big spoon and Aeroniel's the little spoon, but I think they're more likely to cuddle with Aeroniel resting her head on Boromir's chest ❤️
7. What was the biggest obstacle to their relationship?
Denethor. Expanding on the things I spoke about in Q.5.: The plan was to eventually tell Denethor about the marriage after a few months, but then Boromir had to go to Rivendell and when his horn washed up everyone thought he was dead for a while. Then, when he came back to Minas Tirith with Gandalf and Pippin and everyone found out that he was alive, Boromir informed his father that he was married. Denethor was probably too far into his madness to really take much notice of Aeroniel though, but I'm sure he'd get a few insults in before his death.
Also, there was the distance between them after Boromir left for Rivendell. Part of me thinks that Aeroniel was pretty mad at Boromir because he insisted on going, so when she hears news of his 'death', she's not only devastated but she feels guilty because she had been mad at him the last time they spoke. All was forgiven when he came back though ❤️
8. What drew them to each other the most?
I kind of talked about this in the other questions, but Boromir is drawn to Aeroniel because she treats him like a person rather than a statue on a pedestal. Like yes, she admires him and thinks he's amazing, but she understands that he's just a man with emotions and vulnerabilities like anyone else. He knows that he can talk to her without any judgement.
What draws Aeroniel to Boromir is similar, in the vein of being able to speak without judgement. After her parents died, she was raised by her uncle who mistreated her and made her feel like there was something wrong with her (for obvious reasons there's no diagnosis in universe, but she's most likely AuDHD), which led to her shutting herself away even after he died. Her and Boromir met each other by chance, but he gave her a reason to let the world in again.
9. How long did they know each other before developing feelings?
They did start developing feelings pretty quickly, to be honest. When they met something just clicked, something that neither of them had really experienced with other people before. While it wasn't exactly 'love at first sight', it was close - though this is Middle Earth, and people fall in love at first sight all the time 😆
10. What is their favourite quality about each other?
For Boromir, it's how passionate Aeroniel gets about her interests. Like he could have no idea what she's talking about but it's the enthusiasm that gets him. For example he knows pretty much nothing about art, but he knows how happy it makes Aeroniel, and he could easily listen to her talk for hours.
For Aeroniel, her favourite thing about Boromir is how he can be so strong but so gentle at the same time. She feels safe around him, both physically and emotionally, and knows that he will never mistreat her or judge her for who she is.
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imeriayapping · 5 months ago
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hey!!! how are you doing?
ohmygosh for the liloscar imagine liam having a seat in the alpha tauri and logan and oscar don't have a proper friendship anymore and liam and logan get super close since they were team mates in f2 (i think??? i dont follow them unfortunately but ill read anything you write all ur ideas are fantastic) and then oscar gets jealous like that should be me so he goes to logan and they get in an argument abt this and they both basically declare their love for each other and then logan gets all confused and shaken up because he thought he had a good thing with liam going on and now his feelings are all confused to he talks to liam about it and he says he likes logan too but they want to focus on their careers so they put a pin on it or smth and then later on oscar finds liam in a little breakdown because of his seat and the rumours if he's good enough to move up to rb or if he's gonna be replaced mid season and oscar knows how it feels like to never have ur seat confirmed to move up and basically being treated like shit bc of alpine so he goes and comforts him and liam's like huh ohmygosh how nice and he grows feelings for him too so they all like each other and bam: relationship
and then there could be little snippets of ppl on social media posting abt them because they keep their relationship public but private so they never say anything abt it and ppl just speculate and it's never confirmed
sorry for the ramble, have a lovely day 💕
Don't apologise for your rambling it was amazing to read!!!!
But i would probably go a bit different about it, maybe Logan got that second alpha tauri seat so now they can actually spend time together while his friendship with oscar went a bit still. It takes effort from both sides to keep up texting or meetups and getting into f1 made it harder for them. And then there was last year with Williams that hit Logan pretty hard so keeping in touch was hard. Oscar not really reaching out first, too wrapped in his own team did affect this too.
So now Logan is constantly in close proximity to liam and they are back to their f2 flirting and all that. Oscar mostly see that online in pr vids that they make or something like that and it annoys him because it wasn't like that even with Alex so he gets snappy in any interactions they have which is strange and highly unusual for oscar.
And one too many comments bring logan and oscar into some far away location, maybe even one evening when they stay in the same hotel or something. At first it's very still and tense conversation, but then oscar let something slip and it actually angers logan bc he wasn't there for Logan when everything was shit and liam did so there no reason for him to act like this. Then he admits his feelings not noticing the slip bc of how furious he is. Oscar answers also very heated that he in fact also have feelings for Logan and it all goes on.
They don't do anything about it because Logan needs some space to think but now they at least acknowledged attraction between them which is something
Logan talks to liam about all of this bc they both know that something is there but just never talked about it. And above all else liam is his friend so they literally just talk about it like "i know that i like you and that you like me too but here this thing with oscar and i have no fucking idea what to do" and in the end they decide to just wait till summer break when they can have some uninterrupted time together and see what will come from that
And then happens part with liam breaking down (maybe because he already with rb for so long but now that logan is also here they have practically same treatment and not really any prospects for rb seat bc yuki now have it?)and oscar and liam open their eyes toward eachother and then they all actually get to the relationship part during summer break hehe
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lipshits-continuous · 1 year ago
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I know your degree isn’t all maths, but do you have any tips/tools for studying maths at uni?
Hello, sorry this is a few days late, I wanted to give you a proper answer /lh
These are in no particular order of importance:
If you are having trouble with a particular concept or area, talk to someone. A fellow student, the lecturer, your academic advisor, your tutor (if you uni has stuff like tutorials), are even someone from mathblr. In one-to-one conversations, it's often easier to to ask specific questions and for the person helping you to try to frame things in a way you understand
The flip side of this is try helping other people that are stuck. Explaining things to other people helps make sure you understand them. There have been occasions where a certain proof or concept has clicked for a second time when I've explained it to someone else
Practice problems and exercises are invaluable. Not only are they great for building understanding and strengthening memory (as well as developing general mathematical rigour), they're also a pretty effecient way of identifying things you don't understand as well for you to work on. I think I've talked about this before but my revision strategy is to do problems to identify what I'm weak on, and then go over the notes of the weak points and do problems on that specific area until I'm comfortable answering questions in that area again, then repeat.
Remember to take breaks! When you're trying to tackle a particularly hard problem and you're getting nowhere, take a break and focus on something else (probably not other problems). Sometimes inspiration will hit whilst you're not actively thinking about the problem (this has happened to me many times, especially whilst I'm showering haha). Or when you then go to return to the problem, you'll get back into it and realise that the answer was actually no that hard after all, you were just fatigued by spending so long on it. Obviously this won't always be the case, there will be problems that you will need to ask for help on and that's okay too. Learning is about admitting you don't know things
Remember to have fun. University can get really intense and draining and it is good to find some balance outside of that. You might not always find that balance during term time (I'm still working on it myself but my terms are short(ish) but very dense with no reading week so it's quite intense) but even little things like setting aside an hour or two just to listen to music or play a video game can help.
Sort of related to the last point but also read about maths outside of the modules you are taking, especially if they are starting to feel like a slog. Try to find things that remind yourself why you enjoy maths and why you wanted to study it. Sometimes that won't work and it might be a sign you aren't enjoying your degree as much as you thought you would (this happened to me with physics and is part of the reason I switched to doing more maths). Something that I like to do is look at module options for later years in my degree and see what things look exciting.
Get used to self-study because it's a really helpful skill. If you're lecturer didn't explain something well or you missed a lecture because of illness or whatever, you're gonna have to catch up and the lecture notes/textbook are the first port of call (as well as a friend who did attend the lecture, but they might be busy). But developing the skill before you have to do revision for exams is quite handy and independent learning skills come in very useful when you go on later to do research projects. This also includes being able to find other resources that help you understand things, like other textbooks or YouTube videos and finding out what works before for you.
A small sidenote for studying in the UK, especially if you're starting in September/October is to expect lecturer strikes. As it currently stands, it doesn't look like universities are budging so be prepared for disruption. I can't really speak for how this affects specific universities other than my own so I don't want to make general claims.
All that said, these are what I've personally found useful so some people might disagree with me or have other things they'd also suggest (if that's the case please add onto this post).
If you're starting after summer then I sincerely hope your A Level results are what you hope for and that you get into your first choice!
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pompoenwolkjes · 5 months ago
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hiii hope you dont mind me asking about your wips specifically fem hyunin and for all us darling aliens 👀 (also im going to answer the ask you sent me soon 🩵)
Hi!! Thank you for asking! I absolutely don't mind, more yelling time for me! hahah
Fem hyunin is actually one that I have changed the plot for two times already and I might switch gears again once I write more hdhd the only clear though my brain had while writing this, was "LESBIAN HYUNIN" and that's it hahaha but I CAN tell you what it's current plot is:
its enganged Jeongin whose slowly falling out of love with her partner. And they both can tell but like each other enough to give it some more time in the hopes that the feelings will return.
And its Hyunjin who accompanies her friend to a family gathering, seeing Jeongin and immediately being enthralled by her.
Likewise, Jeongin is very interested in getting to know more about the beautiful girl who keeps staring at her and who blushes so prettily when she looks back.
Cue lots of Hyunjin pining and Jeongin having way to much fun flustering her, which later turns into Jeongin coming over to Hyunjin's place.
Snippet:
Jeongin blinks at the bottle of wine on the kitchen island. Hyunjin already hurrying over to fill up their glasses. Almost folding into herself, looking small and fragile, nervous. So different to the way she’d beamed when she opened the door to find Jeongin on the other side, unashamed joy on her face before carefully tucking it away. Being so happy about someone else’s fiancée turning up on your doorstep might not be proper, Jeongin gets it, even if she thinks it’s stupid. There’s nothing for Hyunjin to be ashamed of.  Hyunjin’s still fidgeting with the bottle, trying to get the screw-cap off, fingers shaking, eyes downcast. And Jeongin thinks she might know what this is about after all.  Gently she reaches out and puts two fingers on Hyunjin’s soft skin, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes.  “I don’t need to be drunk to like you, Hyunjin-ah” Wide eyes stare back at her, lips parted in surprise, slight blush on her cheeks and god she looks so lovely.
for all us darling aliens is my space au! Chan, Changbin and Minho are a space traveling crew, with Chan and Changbin being humans and Minho a (wild)cat shapeshifter. Changbin and Minho are in a relationship. On one of their travels, Minho gets very ill and Changbin sets out to find a cure for him while Chan stays behind to take care of Minho.
Going through space on your own is not very smart but they can't leave Minho alone or take him on the ship either. Along the way Changbin meets the rest of the skz who are from different planets. Including Hyunjin, who Changbin very quickly catches feelings for while still being in love with Minho as well. And the closer they get to the cure, the more conficted Changbin feels, wanting to get back to Minho as soon as possible but also not knowing what to say about Hyunjin. Main paring is minbinjin (help what are those three called hdhdh) with side seungin, jilix, and Chan joins a pairing but I'm not yet spoiling which one heheh
Snippet:
Seungmin doesn’t try to hide his displeasure when he turns around to face Changbin.  “We don’t have to take this route-” “We need the minerals for Minho,” Changbin interrupts. “It’s not the only planet that has those minerals,” Seungmin coldly points out. “It is the closest one,” Changbin returns, just as blunt. “Finding another planet like this might take us more time than we have. You know that damn well.” Seungmin deflates, looking a little lost instead of the intimidating presence he was moments before.  “Just- don’t make him fight, I- please, I’m not afraid of dying but not him, he wasn’t meant for this.” Hand coming up to protectively rest on the back of his neck like he can still feel the warmth Jeongin’s fingers left on his skin.  “He’d do it if you asked, so fiercely loyal," Seungmin can’t stop the fondness that bleeds into his tone but his gaze is sharp, like he knows his words hit home, knows Changbin isn’t just thinking of Jeongin when he looks over Seungmin’s shoulder, eyes flitting to another fierce little thing. One he’s just as desperate to protect as Seungmin is with Jeongin.
UM SO this is LONG omg sorry I am incapable of making my snippets short dhhdhd
Thank you again for taking an interest in my silly thoughts and letting me yell about them, I had fun writing it down <3
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hazel-of-sodor · 6 months ago
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Something Holy This Way Comes
Ch.6 Settling In
Other Stories
Other Chapters
 Cassandra quickly settled into life on the Uman and Din. To the engine's surprise, she was already aware of the Great Western Way of running a railway. She ran up and down the line with coaches in proper Swindon fashion, chatting at the stations with all the children who came to see 'Thomas.'
"We have a 57xx named Montague, although he prefers Duck, as our station pilot." She explained one night in the sheds. "He still practices your ways, I often help shunt in the yard while waiting for my return express run to Ffarquhar, and he taught me as we worked together."
"You have an express?" Abbey asked curiously.
"Hardly," Cassandra laughed, "it's a non-stop run with a few coaches between our main terminus, Tidmouth, and my Branchline's terminus, Ffarquhar. The other railway deemed it an express so they could justify me remaining blue."
"You wore Express Passenger Blue!?" 
Cassandra chuckled at Abbey's expression, "Not for long. We got our own liveries back in early 51. But the other railway wanted to keep me blue for tourism purposes."
"The books were already that popular?"
Cassandra nodded, "Many of the kids recognized me when my book was published."
"Why did they recognize you?" Enid asked, confused.
"The war," Cassandra said grimly, "I'm sure some of you remember the evacuation trains taking children into the countryside."
Many of the engines nodded grimly.
"Sodor took many of those children, as we were on the opposite side of Britain from the mainland. The towns of my Branchline were used to house most of the children evacuated to the Island during the war, far away from the docks, factories, and shipyards."
She closed her eyes remembering, "It was rare that I got a moment to rest during the war, but when I did, the children would come to see me. After the war, they started coming back with their families to visit me. I found out about the books from them, they recognized me on the cover of one of the books."
"Why are you Thomas in the books and not Cassandra?" Ceri asked curiously.
"At first it was because the Reverend preferred it. He's old-fashioned and thought I was a 'poor role model' for a lady. Later it was to hide me from the other railway. They don't know I sometimes present female, so I can easily slip past them when I do."
"Surely it's not as simple as that!" Blaidd protested.
Cassandra snorted, "Those who work for the other railway rarely care to tell one engine from another. They see I'm a girl and look no farther."
"Even with the books?" The whisper asked.
"Yes," Cassandra answered before Screech could repeat the question. "They are convinced Caomhnóir is male, and so look no further." She smirked at a dumbfounded Screech.
"You can hear them?"
"Not as clearly as you can, but yes."
***
The week passed smoothly by, with Cassandra receiving a new snowplow on her third day. It was mounted and shaped differently than her old one. It was a straight edge plow rather than a v-shaped and sat further back on her frames. She was skeptical, but reluctantly allowed it to be fitted. Throughout the day she slowly relaxed as the new plow failed to cause issues.
Screech also slowly relaxed as it became clear that the Lady's chosen champion truly had no ill intentions toward her. Cassandra could be fussy and had no hesitation in cutting another engine down to size if they were so much as a second late, but if anything those traits helped her to fit in with the Great Westerns.
Two of her coaches, Annie and Clarabel, arrived the fourth morning, having been undergoing overhaul when Cassandra had left for the Uman and Din. They had been repainted in Great Western chocolate and cream to better fit in with the railway. Cassandra remained in North Western Blue to keep the flow of tourists coming to see her. It quickly became evident that the little blue engine adored her coaches, taking them for a run as soon as they had been checked over by the workshops. The feeling was obviously returned, as the pair had only given a token resistance when the No.1's competitive streak appeared. With the U&DR coaches, she had been careful and precise, arriving early at each station, but only by a minute or two. But when Enid had challenged Cassandra to a race the fifth morning, that had all went out the window. Cassandra had been as an arrow released from Artemis's bow.
She had thundered down the line, steam streaming from her funnel in a straight line from the speed of her passing, Annie and Clarabel shouting encouragement. She arrived at Din a full ten minutes early, panting happily.
 Five minutes later Enid had puffed in, out of breath, and embarrassed. Cassandra's explanation that she had been secretly racing the busses on her line since the forties made her feel better.
"How many times have you lost?" She asked when she had got her breath back.
Cassandra's smirk had answered for her.
Enid had tried to egg Cassandra into challenging Guinevere, but Caomhnóir had snorted, saying "I know better than to challenge an express engine. I got dragged behind a Gresley in the twenties, I'm in no mood to repeat it with a Star."
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goblinbugthing · 1 year ago
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Bugthing’s brand-new Pinned Intro Post!!!!!!
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Hi! I’m Bug, I’m a mentally ill emo artist and fic author. This is where I put my nonsense for you internet ppl to look at.
I’m transmasc, currently identifying as xenogender, and I use he/xey/it/they pronouns. Mutuals, and only mutuals, can use my other neos, blood/bleed and gore/gory. I’m solian/mspec veldian, fictoromantic, and fictosexual. Please respect that!!
Currently, I’m into Hollow Knight, the Kirby series, A Hat in Time, Bug Fables, Cult of the Lamb, Rain World, and Fate/Zero. Do be warned, though, I can fall out of these fandoms at any time — my interests are almost always fluctuating.
This blog is safe for minorities! (e.g. disabled ppl, LGBTQ+ ppl, BIPOC, Palestinians, etc.)
I am a minor. Don’t be weird.
Other stuff under the cut!
(divider gif via @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more)
My asks are closed. When they’re open again, feel free to ask me stuff about my hyperfixations, or whatever you wanna know about me, as long as it’s not too personal.
Commissions are closed. You can still support me by donating/tipping! Ko-Fi linked below!
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@kirby-souljourney-au — My Kirby AU blog.
@hollowknightinsanity — My HK sideblog.
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Current works:
Kirby: Soul Journey — My Kirby AU fanfiction, taking place after Kirby and the Forgotten Land. (Read on Tumblr / Read on Wattpad / Read on AO3) (To be rewritten)
Kirby: Soul Journey oneshots collection — A set of oneshots created for K:SJ. (Read on Tumblr / Read on Wattpad / Read on AO3) (To be rewritten)
Hollow Knight: Empty Promises — A set of fics created for my base Hollow Knight AU, Empty Promises. (Read on AO3 / Wattpad link to be added)
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My tag key:
#buggie’s rambles — Text posts
#buggie’s randoms — Nonsense stuff! In other words, my homemade memes
#buggie’s doodles — Doodles and sketches
#buggie’s characters — OC stuff
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I tag triggers with #cw (trigger).
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If I make any new tags (or remember any ones I forgot), this section will be updated!
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If any of these fit you, do not interact with my blog.
Pro//shippers
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People who support Israel’s genocide of Palestinians (Stay FAR away from me.)
People who ship The Knight/Ghost and the Grimmchild (I mean, you do you, but I don’t wanna. See that. Feels weird.)
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And I believe that’s it! Enjoy your time here :)
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himbeereule · 8 months ago
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I want to like the demo but I think it needs some work. the intelligence director's introduction doesn't serve it's purpose, we learn nothing about the character and really have no interaction with them. They are just kinda there because you need to introduce a RO. At the house after being executed you go to talk to the people and it pretty confusing. You now get 3 ROs thrown at you without a proper introduction of the characters we learn nothing about them as characters. There is no clear explanation from the characters in that scene of what the situation is like, the need to evacuate, what forces they have available. No one asks how the MC is doing emotionally or physically not even the friend character. It just jumps to what do you want to name your army and all the people in it missing all the important humanizing moments. Also why are there cat ears in the clothing options I want to take the story seriously but I really can't with that
Okay, so... yes, of course it needs some work. That's what "Work in Progress" means.
Since you refer to them as "the Intelligence Director", I'm guessing you didn't get any of Yakov/Liliya's scenes, which... is an issue. As stated in both the release notes as well as in the posts leading up to the release post on this blog, this is the only route that's finished. Which means what's left is the strategic meeting scene, which, due to the other three's routes not being finished, is only like 15% done, and what's missing is precisely the characters' introductions.
So... not sure how to answer you. You're basically telling me "the things that are missing are still missing", which, yeah... I knew that. Everyone should know that, since it was announced multiple times.
Now, about the other things you mentioned:
Strategic situation: it's made clear that a) your own forces are very small, so you have to leave the Capital; b) this is possible, since the rebel forces in the suburbs are even smaller, and ill-equipped; and c) there's reinforcements waiting to link up with you outside. I don't really know what else you would need to know, and getting told in more detail wouldn't make sense story-wise, because all four characters have their own agendas. MC is not in control and holds no power at this point in the story.
Which brings me to the next issue: none of the characters has a reason to ask for MC's well-being. On the one hand they already know about MC's exact health situation - they were the ones who organized your rescue, after all, and you didn't magically recover, there must've been medical treatment organized by, well, guess who - and, on the other hand, apart from Yakov/Liliya (who isn't the type to show concern in a room full of people), none of the characters care about MC as a person at this point.
Cat ears in clothing options, well... I'll consider making a slimmed-down wardrobe selection for this specific scene instead of linking to the general wardrobe (though it might cause people to miss options), but I will not remove any of the silly stuff. Despite its serious themes, this is primarily a romance and dress-up game apart from the later strategy/army-building aspects, so it doesn't need to be that serious. I understand why people would misjudge that considering all the heavy stuff in the Prologue, but they'll have to adapt.
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mxhirus · 1 year ago
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Does Yuu have an inferiority complex?
I was thinking about ONS as of recent, and something came to mind. Does Yuu have an inferiority complex? And I'm about to answer this question in this post. Feel free to comment on it ^_^
To start with, what is an inferiority complex? By definition "an unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behavior in compensation." When it comes to symptoms, it includes low self esteem, abandonment issues (can be formed/stems from it), thoughts of death, self deprecation, the craving of praise, etc.
Yuu appears to find himself to be inadequate in the sense that he was not strong enough to be able to save his family, and protect them or anyone else. He deems himself "useless" and "weak" which becomes his driving force to prove everyone else wrong, and that he has the potential/capabilities to become strong.
It's established pretty early on that Yuu wants to kill himself, and that after his family died; he wanted to die too. This is because he was angry at himself that he was somehow alive, despite being able to do nothing to save his family. How is someone as useless as him is alive, when the others were dead? This was sort of a question for him. It's already established that he has survivor's guilt, which in my opinion probably plays into this.
"I've lived enough. I considered suicide every day... But I stuck it out, doing what it took to live this long. You could at least praise me for that."
This is something that Yuu said. [CH. 119, page 29]. Essentially, he explains how he had no reason to live; and that he wanted to die. But, he didn't because he would feel guilty (because it'd mean he gives up on Mika). However, he also states that a major driving force was finding someone to live for. He wants to be praised because even living on was tough for him. People who have an inferiority complex tend to crave praise, or reassurance inherently.
A sign of an inferiority complex is also aggressive behavior. Yuu has always been relatively aggressive and closed off, which is most likely because of the great deal of trauma he experienced early on in life when his parents attempted to murder him. This honestly just got worse when the orphanage kids were massacred, just as Yuu was beginning to open up and trust them. So, later on, when he demands that he wishes to kill the vampires and thinks he's strong enough, he sort of finds that he has to prove he's good enough. How does Yuu choose to do that? By being an absolute idiot and charging into extremely dire situations without the proper gear and a plan.
Yuu's aggressive behavior is relatively prominent, but it sort of fades when Mika is present in his life, seeing as he had guilt for "leaving Mika to die" left over within himself.
"I want to die. How come I had to survive? Somebody kill me. I'm an ugly, worthless devil. Don't leave me. I don't wanna be alone. I wanna die. I wish I never existed."
Yet again, another thing Yuu has said [CH. 104 page 23]. Yuu's survivor's guilt is displayed pretty well here. He feels like shit because he somehow managed to live, but he in fact, wishes the exact opposite. He wished he too, was slaughtered. And then, he begins to self-deprecate himself. He considers himself to be "ugly" and "worthless". He believes himself to be these things because he survived, of all people. He, the child his parents once called a devil survived. I think this sort of serves enough proof of how mentally ill he is.
TL;DR Yuu basically shows a lot of symptoms and behaviors similar to that and is fucked as hell
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aboutanancientenquiry · 1 year ago
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"Why is Plutarch so Angry about Herodotus?
Answer by Bryant Kirkland
This is a good question, and I will scrape only the tip of the iceberg here in saying that Plutarch’s problems with Herodotus have a lot to do with Plutarch’s ideas about representation, both of one’s character and of historical events as represented in writing. From Plutarch’s perspective, Herodotus has gotten away with murdering the facts, as it were, and Plutarch wants to convict him not only of his intellectual crimes but also of the malicious intent that motivated them.
The relevant text for thinking about this question is Plutarch’s On the Malice of Herodotus (de malignitate Herodoti), likely written in Plutarch’s later years when he was preparing to write the Parallel Lives and reading a lot of Herodotus. Plutarch writes in the opening sections that he is setting out to defend ‘our ancestors and the truth’ from what he calls Herodotus’s ‘malice’. This word translates the Greek term kakoêtheia, whose component parts could be more literally translated as ‘bad character’ or ‘ill temperament’. That bit about the ancestors is important, too. As many scholars have noted, Plutarch has decidedly patriotic interests in the treatise and spends a good amount of time critiquing Herodotus’s presentation of Thebes, near Plutarch’s place of birth. If you’re familiar with the Iliad’s Catalogue of Ships or the so-called Serpent Column that memorialized the city-states that resisted Persia, you’ll know that ancient Greeks (though of course not just ancient Greeks) were serious about proper acknowledgment of various places’ efforts in larger causes. Plutarch was no exception, and his belief that Herodotus improperly represented certain places must have been one motivating factor for his treatise. But that’s not all.
Plutarch in that opening section foregrounds the issue the really underlies his diatribe: Herodotus’ character (êthos). Plutarch would have us believe that Herodotus is a kind of literary con artist. The signature flaw of Herodotus’ Histories – the flaw that undergirds all of its errors – is that Herodotus is not who he poses to be: he seems like a good person who wants to tell the truth, but he is not. His mistakes are not innocent errors of fact or the product of bad research, but are instead purposeful distortions. And only a person of churlish and mean-spirited character would purposefully distort the truth or cast needless aspersion on others. Herodotus’ alluring writerly qualities therefore make his falsehoods, fabrications, omissions, and subtle acts of slander hard to detect, but all the same he can’t help, like some thief in hasty flight, leaving ‘traces’ or ‘footprints’ that allow us to spot his deceit, Plutarch says.
An example: according to Plutarch, Herodotus shows his bad character in his choosing to distort the truth under the guise of offering something accurate or laudatory. Plutarch complains at one point about Herodotus’s report (Hdt. 6.106.3-107.1) that the Spartans arrived late to Marathon because of a religious obligation to wait for the full moon before setting off on military campaign. Plutarch claims that this is not always true, and that Spartans did on other occasions march out before the full moon. Regardless of the accuracy of Plutarch’s claim, the essential point for him is that Herodotus suppresses evidence about the Spartans, thereby betraying his bias against them. A little later in the treatise Plutarch contends that Herodotus’ praise of Athens (7.139) does not really count as genuine praise, but rather ‘he praises the Athenians that he may speak ill of all the rest’, including of course Sparta. For Plutarch, Herodotus only attempts to conceal his biases behind explanatory statements (such as that about Spartan religion) or statements of apparent praise (when in fact he is dissing the rest of Greece, not really lauding Athens – a city that Herodotus anyway depicts inconsistently, per Plutarch). So the very mechanics of Herodotus’s historical composition, however ‘accurate’ they look, both conceal and (if you’re reading carefully) reveal Herodotus’s skulking bad spirit.
Now, you might still ask: isn’t history (ideally) about telling the truth? Isn’t Plutarch strait-jacketing Herodotus into offering an uplifting, ‘patriotic’ version of history? (And don’t think these visions of history have gone away: witness the proposals to teach ‘patriotic history’ in certain parts of the United States over the past few years especially.) Here one might recall Plutarch’s philosophical tendencies. He did not think that things that consisted of a fundamentally good essence should be represented in a bad way. As a comparison, consider how Plato (or Socrates) is worried about Homer’s representation of the gods. If the gods are good and just, is it right for Homer to represent them as petty and wilful? Similarly, if the Persian Wars did what many Greeks of Plutarch’s time wanted to think they did – kept Greece ‘free’, and brought different groups together in an act of resistance – then Herodotus has just too many ambiguities and opaque patches to be considered an accurate witness. To be sure, there is some circular thinking here, but in the end, Plutarch can convict Herodotus of being something of a failed artist who has cruelly painted ugly moles and zits on what Plutarch takes to be a clean complexion.
I encourage you to read the treatise for yourself and see what you think. And if you have access to an academic library, I recommend these helpful pieces of scholarship: John Marincola’s 1994 essay ‘Plutarch’s Refutation of Herodotus’ (in Ancient World 25.2: 191-203); Christopher Pelling’s 2007 chapter ‘De Malignitate Plutarchi: Plutarch, Herodotus, and the Persian Wars’ (in E. Bridges, E. Hall, and P.J. Rhodes (eds.) Cultural Responses to the Persian Wars, 472 BCE – 2003 CE. Oxford: 145-64); pages 9-34 especially of Emily Baragwanath’s Motivation and Narrative in Herodotus (Oxford 2008); and Geert Roskam’s 2017 essay ‘Discussing the past: Moral virtue, truth, and benevolence in Plutarch’s On the Malice of Herodotus’ (in A. Georgiadou and K. Oikonomopoulou (eds.) Space, Time and Language in Plutarch. Berlin: 161-74)."
From the site of Herodotus Helpline.
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definitelynotshouting · 2 years ago
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Hey friend, I am absolutely rotating the HECK out of Hunger AU rn. I just binged all of the tagged posts and I'm going FERAL! Watchers being like parasitic wasps? Listeners being like fungi? Absolutely based takes.
I'm very much a fan of the emotional realism going on and I'm so terrified of Angry!Mumbo. Like. Bro doesn't get all that angry that often those folks are the scariest properly pissed.
And I relate far too much to the Search Party tbh. Something about the themes of mental and physical illness, wanting to help but not knowing how, the one you want to help not wanting help at this point, the resentment that causes on both sides of that stalemate... yeah I've been there.
Also, I am insanely curious about the ecological niche that Watchers and Listeners fulfill. Like. There has to be a reason they are the way they are. I'm insanely curious about what the environment they evolved in looked like, and even more curious as to what they provide back to the universe in return.
Like. Irl most wasps are predatory insects, controlling the population of pests and invasive species, but the tidbits you've given us about how they feed on emotions and the groups they feed on put me more in mind of, like, herding dogs. Yknow? Does that make sense? Gathering players together and moving them away from half abandoned worlds to let them dissolve back into the greater code. Maybe interviening in virus-infected worlds or virus-vulrable worlds, encouraging those players to move or perish.
And Listeners, well, fungi occupy so many diverse niches they could do just about anything, really. It's very fun to think about and I am rotating them vigorously, thank you for feeding us so well <3
(May I be 🐸 anon?)
This is such a sweet ask i am so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 abt it, im really pleased that you're enjoying the emotional realism ive committed to for this fic, because thats just such an important aspect for me-- my goal here is to depict a deeply emotional, moving, and messy situation about illness and recovery where no one's feelings are punished or demonized by the narrative. Its just so, so important to me that the Search Party (and later on, the other hermits) get their emotions properly respected and explored. Its not just about Grian, even if he is the ultimate focus-- everyone else deserves varied, emotional responses to an ugly and terrifying situation where theres hurt on all sides. This is the kind of realism i love putting in all of my writing, and the kind of justice i want to do for all characters in stories like these!!
Its a little funny how this au originally started with me brainrotting absently about Watcher biology because i wanted to explore the idea of Grian pretending to be an avian and finding certain aspects of it deeply uncomfortable. And then it just. Snowballed into this!! And now i am chewing on worldbuilding for breakfast DKXNSJDJ im really glad you enjoy the Watchers and Listeners lore!!! I need to make a proper post on Devs (or dev crystals, as theyre actually called), as well as general code structure, bc they are both so fucking cool as well
I absolutely love your herding dog analogy, and its giving me some great ideas because for the longest time i couldnt quite figure out what exactly a Watcher's ecological niche was beyond predator to Players and prey for something else that's extinct. But now im really looking at the connection between Watchers feeding habits and Players' biological need for play (or dreams, if you want to get into the minecraft end poem of it all), and theres something there that i really wanna take some time to tease out before i give a concrete answer. I need to update my hunger au masterlist LOL i am saur behind 😭
Anyway this was such a lovely ask to sink my teeth into!!!! Thank you so much for sending it, and ofc you can be frog anon!!! This was a really stimulating conversation for me so thank you again for getting my brain whirring :D i hope to see you in the inbox again!!
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caius-hhhhhh · 6 months ago
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following up on this fanfic emoji ask game: I know this is not the general convention but i tend to like responding to an ask game all at once rather than waiting for prompts. so I’ve just answered every single one of the questions below the cut. Again, if you wanna play or use the game for your own purposes, please do! you don’t have to repeat my strategy, although you’re free to do so too.
i was about to say “this is a bunch of autofellating nonsense” but that’s the point. who cares. i wrote a lot about disability. if your mental illness also significantly impacts your ability to write, this might be triggering.
I’m still a baby ao3 user (@ is spitemonger) with only one published fic (it’s Zutara. It’s not that I’m not proud of it but I wrote it on a deadline and thus spent a lot of the creative process going “i don’t want to i don’t want to”). but a) I have generally been writing since I was a teenager, and b) I want to write more and publish more.
So I’ll be mostly referring to unpublished wips, with a primary focus on a long-form one-sided radiostatic fic covering Vox’s fall to Stayed Gone, and a minor focus on two shelved Magnus Chase (PJO spin-off) fics, one for Fierrochase and one for Blitzstone. [if you haven’t read Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgaard get the fuck on it, there’s a genderfluid character]
😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?
my entire trunk novel? If I’m embarrassed by a scene I delete it during edits. So the only thing I’m even minorly embarrassed by is the fandom-specific plot I wrote by the seat of my pants (Magnus goes to Camp Half-Blood) — I’ll get more into that in a later question
🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?
love that this emoji doesn’t fucking register on my computer. I’ve never thought about this before! It’s hard for my own writing to get me emotional, I tend to look at it so clinically and dispassionately I kind of get caught off-guard when people say an emotional moment hit them. I do get very easily fucked by other people’s writing about transness. No prizes for guessing why, characters exploring their own gender and other people telling them they see them as their proper gender always get me feeling some type of way. calam4r1’s comic about Alastor’s “what have you done to me” makes my heart EXPLODE
🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?
I am exceedingly proud of this Cave Johnson-ass line: “All projects, collaborations, products, and endorsements featuring or even vaguely mentioning that crimson ass’s likeness are to be liquidated. And burned. In fact, trap and seal the gases from the fire, freeze them back into liquid, and then burn them again.”
😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?
Oh fuck yes. It is a major twist that I’d be stupid to spoil, but! There is a red herring at the start of my current fic that you don’t get resolution for until three-quarters of the way through. It involves Vox’s real name.
✍ Do you have a beta reader?
My close associate SpaceWall is a fan-fucking-tasting editor who understands my need for my writing to be completely eviscerated. She has the balls to tell me when I’ve got a shite idea, and I could not ask for a better editor. Go fucking read her fics and tell her she’s excellent. On the subject, I really like editing and am fully open to reading your work. I’ve a slightly longer post about it here but please reach out to me if you’d like me to look at anything you have.
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
Disability. It’s well and truly quite hard to find a story that doesn’t deal with disability — hell, it’s hard to find a human that doesn’t have a relationship with disability — but it’s something canon so frequently either tacitly ignores or doesn’t pick up on. If I’m going to do anything in a fic, it’s explicate the characters’ canon disabilities or headcanon new ones. This is my favourite part of Cold Bodies btw, and basically the only part I wrote without explicit prompting. It’s in the last subsection if you don’t want to read the 8k words of prep
🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
idk man I’m really bad at pacing so even if the content is whack I go about it too slowly to really shock anyone
✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉
fuck off.
💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?
Love the implication that I don’t fall asleep every night fantasising about a thousand different first kiss scenarios.
🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?
I’m very picky when it comes to listening to music while I write. I can’t think about words if the song I’m listening to also has words, nor if it has a really tangible melody that I want to follow along with. So I need really slow, atmospheric music without a real tune. Undertale genocide themes are actually fucking excellent for this, I’d highly recommend them. I’ve created a massive fuck-off OSRS playlist (on itunes, not spotify, so I can’t share it, sorry) basically comprised of the entire Portal 2 soundtrack (special fucking shoutout to The Friendly Faith Plate, which is SO VOX CODED YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEAAAA) and Sim Gretina’s electro swing (Enemy Like Me is my favourite), plus Kira’s Piece of Art and Dua Saleh’s mOth. The first because it’s giving Vox’s obsession with Alastor, and the second because, duh.
🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?
I’m a google docs hoe. I know I shouldn’t be, but fuck man, I know how it works. It feels natural when my writing is on there. I’ve tried Scrivener and it made me angry. What the fuck ever And “tools”, that’s really funny — I’m the type of grad student that does all my citations manually because switching to Zotero is weird and scary. I know how to do it manually! Why would I ever accept help for something I know how to do?? (< ocpd symptom)
⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?
The world doesn’t fucking need any more Nico di Angelo fics. It really doesn’t. There’s plenty. He’s a skinny white boy, he’s got the entire internet in the palm of his hand. You wanna compete with Robin? Really? You wanna do that to yourself? I don’t even have catholic guilt, I’ve got nothing to add
🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?
SpaceWall and I are irl friends, but we hold each other’s secrets in equal regard. The secret is that she is a good writer and I’m a poet I wouldn’t actually mind if people I knew irl found and read my fics. It’s just writing. I don’t find anything to object in it, and in fact I’d like it if I could talk about Hazbin with other people irl. I would hate it if people I know irl found my tumblr, but that’s principally because I’m significantly more open about my ocpd here. I’m not a person on the internet, I’m just words and a drawing. You haven’t seen the kinds of fucked up shit I do in front of my peers that would suddenly Make A Lot Of Sense if they knew I had a FUCKING personality disorder.
🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?
The Blitzstone origin wip, which is mostly “ostracised gay dwarf learns ASL because he saved this dying elf’s life”. come to think of it the first chapter of that fic is technically perfect and there’s very little stopping me from putting it the fuck on ao3 and abandoning it for three years before coming back. huh. i might… just do that.
🍷 Do you drink and write?
Always. It turns the judgemental part of my brain off and I have a much easier time making things and getting ideas down. Such a shame I don’t smoke too! I’ve tried writing whilst high and it was not writing. It was in fact lying back and rereading 666
�� Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?
“the spicy stuffs” porn is the word you’re looking for. You can say it. It’s four letters. The internet police won’t get you. See look, porn porn sex penis tits ass fucking Writing erotica was a really instrumental part of unlearning the self-destructive writing habits that made me suicidal scrap my original work. My initial intention was that because it’s erotica, it’s not for other people: it’s for me. And having that barrier of “this is not for other people to see” was liberating and necessary — I turned it off eventually, because erotica is not something to be so ashamed of that no eyes but yours can look upon it — but I needed to force myself to write something that I couldn’t imagine being scrutinised and therefore needed to be Purposeful and Say Something.
🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?
11pm–2am is when I get my best work done. Unfortunately, I write the most frequently between 1–3pm because I have the energy and motivation to, but those are Self Doubt Hours and I have a hard time getting into the swing of things I actually have the best writing luck when I get up early but that’s not gonna fucking happen
💖 What made you start writing?
In general, pathology, but I’ve kind of made that clear already. What made me want to write a Hazbin fic was seeing how exceptionally creative this fandom is and how much fun people seemed to be having sharing their ideas. I feel like in the circles I’m running in, there’s not a lot of pressure to make Good Art, and it’s… not really a big deal if your work gets a lot of attention or not. Everyone seems to be getting the same tone of feedback, all cheer and encouragement, and the vibe to me seems really casual and fun. I’m not thinking to myself “how will I compete with these other authors”, but “I wonder if the user I idolise will see and like my work”. And the answer is often yes. It’s not just that people are creating and playing so freely, it’s that it feels like a lot of us are here to support one another, and that’s been really reassuring. Because I feel like people will like anything I put out
❌ What's a trope you will never write?
I was about to say “anything related to pregnancy, thinking about my uterus makes me nauseous” but I uh. Wrote about a miscarriage. So I guess writing about a wanted pregnancy is the real limit
💲 Would you ever open commissions?
This is a super interesting question I haven’t seen spoken about very widely: it is considered extremely normal to commission fanart, but whenever the subject comes up, people seem incredibly reticent to ever commission fanfiction. I’m not fully sure why — in principle, it seems like there should be no real distinction in paying for fanart versus paying for fanfic. They’re both derivative work, they’re both made by enthusiastic artists who deserve to be compensated for their thousands of hours of expertise. I’m not certain what causes the disconnect. I have seriously toyed with the idea of doing podfics for money. I am in fact a professionally trained actor, and I own a USB microphone; which puts me ahead of like 50% of all of AO3’s userbase. Not sure if I’d fully commit to the idea because it’s still rather contentious. Were I to read my entire fic out loud I would put it behind a patreon though. It is in fact a very labour-intensive process, and again, I do have professional training.
🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?
Hoo boy.
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this is my fic folder. For most fics I write, I have a draft document and a research document: I’ve colour-coded the related documents: so dark green and dark green are the draft and research, pink and pink are both parts of the same project, etc. Let’s compare the word count in each of these draft documents and research documents, shall we? The dark green draft is 8k; its research document is 16k. The pink document is Cold Bodies. Including the html coding and my author’s notes, it’s edging on 13k. Its research document is 8k. It’s the only fic I’ve completed. The light purple draft is 21.5k. Its research is 96k! The light green draft rather conspicuously titled “botw script” is in fact a script, not prose, so it’s only about 4k. Its research, which is in fact titled “I don’t like botw’s story”, is 25k. The dark purple draft is a rather tragic 6k. Its two research documents are a combined 104k!!! One of the documents is called, rather tellingly, “I think I like research more than I like writing.”
My research process involves a not insignificant amount of textual analysis. For Cold Bodies, it looked something like this:
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I haven’t done a lot of that kind of work for Hazbin because most info is fanon or only vaguely canon-adjacent, but I have compiled a list of headcanons many of you have put out into the world.
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that’s gabrielsbubblegumbitch’s post and soot-and-salt’s And Not From Head To Toe. The other significant form of research I do is scour books I think are interesting or relevant so I can take plot or thematic inspiration from them. Previously, I’ve combed through Creating A Champion (and cannot recommend the experience. it’s kind of racist 😬) and made a fic a loose parody of Emma so I could fall back on its plot when I needed inspiration. For this Vox fic I’m rereading David Sedaris’ When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Eden Robinson’s Traplines (the last short story has a Monkey Beach spoiler, read that first), Catcher in the Rye, The Chocolate War, and, for some reason, Cary Elwes’ As You Wish.
🏆 What's your most popular fic?
Only got one. Shoutout to grownupchangeling for fucking SPRINTING into my inbox to ask for the answer to this question, really admire their(?) tenacity and dedication to squatting in my notifs like a spider in the corner
🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?
Never really crossed my mind. I do like a good beach fic, and anything set in winter makes me happy, but I’m not a massive holiday story enjoyer.
🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?
I spoke about this a bit in response to soot, but if your readers are able to accurately guess a plot point or twist it means you have done it successfully. It means you have given your readers the tools to reach the same conclusion you did: and those tools are foreshadowing, atmosphere, subtext, and tension. Those are how a twist or beat feel that they belong in the narrative, because they gel with everything that has come before it. It in fact should be the author’s goal for readers to be able to guess the twist! It’s not that it should be blindingly obvious, but more that a seed should exist somewhere that smart readers (which are all readers!) should be able to see it and notice when it takes root.
🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?
Who doesn’t like fan art? Who’s the fucking Anne Rice of AO3 that’s going to be like “you may read my fic but do Not make art inspired by mine” literally who does that
📈 How many fics do you have?
Guess.
🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?
I outline wherever possible. How detailed the outline is depends on the scene rather than the fic: “Vox goes house hunting” is in fact a very very long scene and a scene that amounts to two pages might well be described beat-by-beat in the outline. Pants-writing gets me incredibly stressed out because I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know where I’m going, I have no direction in mind, and because of that panic impulse I cannot be open to serendipity. It’s also really hard for me to do complete rewrites, so as soon as I have something down on the page and it’s made it past the first, worst, round of excruciating edits it tends to remain as-is in the final draft. So I often need at least a vague idea of what’s going to happen before I can start my work. I don’t do drafts, inasmuch as I’ve used that word pretty consistently throughout this post. I think. I think, think, think, research, ruminate, think, tentatively write less than 100 words, think think think consider scrapping the whole thing and then I detonate like a firework and the vast majority of the ink that first splatters on the page in that initial explosion stays until I know it’s done. I write like a shotgun: with a very intensive buildup and lots of preparation with a very short but very powerful discharge. I’ve told this to people and received the kind of expression you typically only get were you to remove your shoes and begin licking the sole of your foot. So please do not compare your own writing process with mine. Okay? This is not normal. I don’t know how often I’ve mentioned this but I have a disorder. No one but me does this. You should not expect yourself to.
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!
No <3
🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
I am literally the last person you should ask. Never pour water on a grease fire? Your face mask should completely cover your mouth and nose? Always make sure the base is larger than the widest point?
💞 Who's your comfort character?
I don’t actually find that there’s a single character who brings me comfort to write about. I write about someone if I have something to say about them. I do have a comfort trope, which is sleeping together.
🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.
I think that Valentino used to be a porn actor before he became a director. During a shoot, he would wear an earpiece so his director could feed him lines, given that he couldn’t read the scripts.
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?
Alastor! I also talk breezily and with an emphasis on slightly elevated language, so I find his dialogue to be incredibly natural to spit out. Plus, who doesn’t love dated exclamations and turns of phrase like “By Jove!” and “take a powder”?
😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?
I well and truly don’t care. I don’t publish anything I’m ashamed of. I only publish things that I think showcase my skills, and that I think are worthwhile pieces of art. And if I had a friend who thought fanfiction or erotica was something to shame or scorn, well, they would not be my friend.
🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?
Finishing it.
✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?
Romantic partners becoming the main character’s therapists… I mean, that’s one of the great things about writing villain protagonists. They don’t fucking have to go to therapy.
📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?
Buckle up, cunt. I had a novel I was working on as a teenager. It was about toxic masculinity and MLM sexual assault. I said to myself, this will be a piece of art that defines a generation. It will say something that our (western) society desperately needs to hear, and one day a young gay kid just like myself will be tilting their head at a 90° angle to see the titles of the books lining the shelves of their local bookstore, see my novel, pick it up, and discover that it spoke to them: in the same way that I felt seen and heard by the books I loved. So as I wrote and worked on it, I often looked at my own writing with the harsh and uncaring eyes I knew it would be faced with when I inevitably contacted an editor. I wanted to make it flawless, bulletproof, do everything in my power to make this work perfect before an editor could see it, so that way I could wholeheartedly say that it was ready for other eyes. So nothing was perfect. Every part of it wasn’t good enough, fix it, FIX IT, I know you can do better so stop acting like THIS is the best you can accomplish. Come on, pick yourself up and do it right this time. And I tortured myself with that. To this day I cannot look at my draft without thinking of all the mistakes I made, what needed to be improved, what still needs to be improved, and after I’ve grown more and gotten diagnosed and met with people who have been published — met publishers — I know that I can’t trust myself enough to let this become a career. Do you know how hard writing this post has been? Did you know it’s taken me two days? Did you know how long I leave my posts in the drafts for, rereading, rereading, rereading, making sure there’s no chance this can be fucked up in any way, that it is totally within my control? I cannot become a professional writer. It’s my disability.
so, you know. rock make stick hit hard on head, cock make dick real hard in bed
⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?
A lustrum.
🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?
B-plots! I kind of get regular plotting, in that I know how to build and resolve tension, but I am so bad at finding other things for the characters to DO in order to take a break from the main plot. I already worked so hard to make a main plot, you want me to do another one??? To say what? I did everything I wanted to, I tied it all in a neat bow, if the readers want a break from the main tension why can’t they just tab out
💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?
I love trans Vox, but in order for him to be in character he has to hate being trans. I’m really used to writing about trans joy, for my own health and for everyone else’s, so writing a character that wishes they weren’t trans is really sad.
💥 How do you feel about criticism?
I actually love criticism. Your work can only get better through education, and one of the easiest ways to get education is by having another person read your work and tell you something about it you didn’t know. I need other perspectives because my own perception of my writing is exhaustive and exhausting: I feel like I’ve done everything I can to improve my work and I am so tired of looking at it that I need a fresh pair of eyes to show me something I’d not found. Getting better is always something to strive for; and even in mean comments it is entirely possible to find the thread of a lesson. More often than not it’s a threat of a lesson, but personally, I take what I can get. Criticism is something I find easy to receive because I can turn it into something productive, either “okay, this is something I need to improve upon, let’s do that” or “this is so clearly in bad faith it is costing me nothing to ignore it”. It’s something I can easily take control of. It’s positive comments that feel like apple-bobbing in a tub full of syringes.
🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?
#Psychological Horror immediately followed by #Eventual Smut. One of my favourite tag jokes I’ve written is #falling in love, #unrequited love, #friends to enemies, #on-again off-again relationship, #don’t date your coworkers holy shit don’t do it. And you really can’t go wrong with Cold Bodies’
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🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?
I suppose I’m kind of asking for it at this point.
I’ve left this one for last so it will have the best dramatic impact. Thank you, heartily, for sorting through that much shit!! I hope this is a worthwhile reward for your efforts.
🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?
The shadows lengthen. The room is small, bereft of light; the darkness has plenty of recesses to establish itself within. His chest distends and recedes with a languid, heavy pulse: good. He will not wake. He dares not take a step. He contorts with the gloaming, letting it carry his weight like waves on the wine-dark sea. Ink creeping along the fractal contours of incautious skin, on paper pulp. The blanket is drawn too far up his shoulder, but his hands have wisely ventured away from its grasp. He has nestled them close to his face: the right palm faces the ceiling. His overgrown claws, weightless, curl around the soundless air. The cuffs of his shirt have drawn back to reveal the skin on his left wrist.  He casts a faint but adequate illumination. Regrettably — he discovers — he has not flesh but casing. Whether it be titanium or catalin, it protects the veins underneath. What seams it must possess, he cannot access at present. He cannot smell his blood. Only the hot hiss of his breath, of bertholite and alkaloids. Experience has had the good grace to train him to anticipate the worst-case scenario. Thus, he suspects his knife would dent upon contact with his skin. This would likely require blunt force, something messy and more out of his weight class. Which is unideal: his own strength is formidable, naturally, but imprecise. And somewhat unsubtle. He sees the power buzzing underneath his grip. A live wire ready to snatch at the first hint of energy, snapping, sparking, antsy and unfulfilled. He likely isn’t trained enough to feel it himself, but again, the danger is too tangible to risk tripping over it. Were he more experienced, older, had experimented enough to test his limits, it would be a safer estimate; but as he is now, untapped and spring-loaded — fisticuffs would result in a significantly less assured victory. It is not a lack of confidence. It is simply a risky bet he does not want to get caught foolishly trusting himself with. That is smarts, not sheepishness. He does not hiss aloud. Nor does he retreat: he takes stock. The room offers little relevant information. His possessions are scarce, no letter drafts upon the writing desk, no bandages or weapons. His wallet is useless. He’s laid out nicotine patches and topical creams upon his toilet table: an invasome, it seems, may be a possibility. Unfortunately, he would have to synthesize it himself. He despises inconclusiveness. He returns his gaze to the picture box, his screen dim and vacuous.  Loathed as he is to admit, this may be a somewhat longer project than he had initially envisioned. More’s the pity — what a spectacular send-off he would have been able to provide! Keep your chin up, now, old boy. This was hardly a trip for biscuits. It was, however, strike two.
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