#IF YOU HAVE HIV I LOVE YOU OKAY

[midnight-tea-at-the-manor]

What If a sacrifical bride had HIV. Like she accidentally came in and Karl or whoever that sends brides didn't know about her condition.

"Whatever do you mea-?"

"....!"

"Why weren't we informed of this? You must not assume we would lower our standards so far. Get out."

[our-inspire-verse]

Right.... you used to die if you got HIV. I forgot.

I forgot there wasn't a cure until recently, or really treatment or awareness etc. And im sure we have a long way to go and i sure don't know it all..

But i hope that the queer people before me know that a young 23 year old queer person was struck with the realization that things have improved dramatically, in ways we couldn't all picture, and didnt all get to see. And i cried tonight just holding all of it in my hands

I hope they know someone thought about them tonight. And i hope little revelries like this keep happening.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

would you like to tell us about your research on virginity?

but also...wdym STIs aren't as scary as we think??? I was told most of them are incurable? I know you can make aids untrasmittable and that they've even succeded in curing it a couple times but that's about it. I would love to be educated about this

yeah, the basic idea with the virginity project was that the whole concept of virginity is pretty bullshit in the context in which it was initially significant, namely cisgender women being penetrated by cisgender men, so as soon as you take it outside of that context by introducing gay and trans sexuality it totally falls apart. I mean, hell, it stops working if you even look at two cishet people doing literally anything OTHER than penis-in-vagina sex. I tripped up so many people initially when I started asking questions like "okay, so you don't think a woman loses her virginity from a man going down on her. so what if it's two women? what's the difference?" and just really getting people to face down their very penis-centered view of the sex, to the result of several people telling me that it kind of made them reevaluate what they actually think of as the first time they had sex. it's also fascinating to either read other people's accounts or discuss firsthand how queer people have either tried to make themselves fit into the binary of virginity - queer man disagreeing over whether or not you have to have penetrative anal sex to lose your virginity or oral sex is sufficient, a fascinating case of a lesbian who felt that have sex with other cis women didn't "count" and asked a cis male friend to have sex with her just so she could feel satisfied that she'd lost her virginity - or abandon it entirely. Hanne Blank's book Virgin was a formative starting point, and it really exploded for me from there.

as for the STIs - hey, bad news! you fell victim to the scare tactics used to make people afraid of sex! almost all sexually transmitted infections are very easy to treat and cure with the right medicine, which is why it's important to get tested regularly and check in with your healthcare provider at the first sign of something amiss. pubic lice, scabies, trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis - all of those are pretty easy to get rid of with some help from your doctor and a run to the pharmacy!

the major exceptions are the 4 H's: herpes, HIV, HPV, and hepatitis B.

herpes is with you forever but is an incredibly mild companion to share your body with, considering most people never experience any notable symptoms and those who do can curb the severity with medicine.

it's also worth noting that herpes is so common as to be virtually ubiquitous; the World Health Organization consistently estimates that somewhere around 80% of the world's adult population is carrying herpes simplex virus 1 or herpes simplex virus 2. a great deal of those people don't even get it from having sex, but rather by catching HSV-1 from a parent or other people they come is close contact with as a child.

you're actually thinking of HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) when you mention AIDS becoming untransmittable, but that's still a very good thing! the care available for people with HIV has come incredibly far since AIDS first became known and claimed so many lives, and today it's more than possible for people infected with HIV to live long, healthy lives by taking the proper medication to manage their viral load.

with management, people with HIV will not develop AIDS (which happens when the immune system is sufficiently depleted by HIV) and by consistently taking their medication people with HIV can become undetectable (the viral load in their body is too small to be detected or measured in tests), at which point they are unable to transmit the virus to other people.

HPV (human paillomavirus) comes in many different strains, most of which are absolutely harmless and go away on their own after a couple of months or years of freeloading in your body. I cannot emphasize this enough: HPV is so common that virtually everyone who has sex has, will have, or has had it in their lives, and the vast, VAST majority of those people will never be troubled by it literally at all.

the trouble comes from a few strains of HPV that can cause genital warts, and a few others that can cause cancers in the throat, anus, cervix, vulva, vagina, and penis. while HPV can't be treated, you can reduce your risk of developing cancer by getting the HPV vaccine if you haven't already and, if you have a cervix, getting regular Pap smears to catch early warning signs of cancerous developments.

hepatitis B is a viral infection that targets the liver. in rare cases it can cause chronic health problems that can be very dangerous, but I have to emphasize that's not common. in most adults who get hep B, there will be no symptoms and it will resolve itself in a matter of weeks. the infection is riskiest in children, but at least in America most people have received vaccines against hepatitis B as babies since the 90s.

in conclusion: get your shots, take your medicine, use protection, get tested, and talk to your doctor, but know that if there's one thing humans are good at it's figuring out how to manage STIs. we've been doing it for a long time - most sexually transmitted infections and parasites have been with us since before we we became modern humans - so we're really good at it!

[ms-demeanor]

Knowledge Fight anon again - thank you for the list and recs! I look forwatd to checking them out. I was excited to see there's a West Wing podcast because I enjoyed that show, but yourself and the hosts hate it so maybe not for me lmao. Though I will still give the first episode a listen - very curious to understand why our feeligns about the show differ so vastly. And if you -want- to rant about why you hate TWW - feel free! I'm genuinely curious - I'm European, have never lived in the US, so for me it was one of the biggest tools of learning how US politics work, which made it absolutely fascinating to watch.

Anyways! I'll be looking at the other podcasts as well, they all seem very interesting, and the common-denominator format you describe them having does jive with me. Thanks again!

My very republican father and sister very much wish that all democrats would act like the democrats in the west wing. It's touted as a point of honor and a great example of compromise when Democrat Jed Bartlett appoints a republican justice to the Supreme court, any time there's an environmentalist or a union supporter on the show they're painted as extreme and uncompromising, in the later seasons the Jimmy Smitts character is running as a democrat on a pro-school-vouchers, anti-tenure/union (so anti-public school, basically) platform, the show as a whole is against entitlements (free college especially is something the ostensible dems in the show aren't even interested in enough to lament).

Idk at a certain point it gets frustrating to see anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, anti-healthcare republicans being praised as the mature compromisers in the room with complicated motivations and good points when every time a leftist protest shows up it's a warehouse full of people without enough message discipline to talk to to cameras without erupting into a shouting match and getting brushed off as whiny babies by toby zigler.

"Oh, we need CJ to look a little loopy, let's have her agree with these cartographers who are pointing out that the mercator projection privileges the global north." "Oh we need to present something that's a ridiculous waste of money, how about a wildlife crossing that would prevent keystone species injuries in an area of urban incursion, that's bullshit that we shouldn't spend money on." "Oh, we want to explain why big pharma can't provide free HIV meds to african nations in 2003, let's suggest that it wouldn't matter even if they did because *Africans don't have clocks and can't take meds 12 hours apart.*" "this hollywood producer is pushing too hard for gay marriage in 2007, let's lecture him about how you need to slow down and respect the process instead of being an activist about it"

There's this interview with Aaron Sorkin where he's saying "America used to be the world's heroes, when my dad was a soldier people would say 'thank god, the Americans are here' and they don't say that anymore and it's because of Donald Trump" - Sorkin totally ignores US imperialism and the way that people in Vietnam and Iraq and Afghanistan wouldn't say 'thank god, the americans are here' to an extent that is genuinely startling, and that shows up in the show. At one point in the show president bartlett okays the assassination of a foreign leader and says 'today we enter the league of ordinary nations' as though the US hasn't backed coups or assassination around the world, as though the CIA isn't a thing, as though Henry Kissinger isn't a thing, and it's *bizarre* from a show that is supposed to be politically aware.

I'm actually super hesitant to recommend the west wing thing to general audiences because i don't always agree with the hosts or their guests but as an analysis of the surprisingly right-leaning politics of the show it's a worthwhile listen.

It's honestly something i could rant about for way too long because I had early warning signs about it. My sister *loves* this show and its politics. She's got a "my president is Jed Bartlett" sticker that she keeps next to her signed copy of one of Ann Coulter's books. If my sister thinks your liberal character is reasonable and level headed and has good policy positions, your liberal character isn't all that liberal.

The show is steeped in American exceptionalism and imperialist apologia but it's got a tearjerker soundtrack and maybe the best and most charming cast ever assembled so you ignore it when CJ wants to brush off constitutional protections against illegal search and seizure or cruel and unusual punishment (she's a huge fan of cops and intelligence agencies and not a fan of oversight) or when she shits on affirmative action (she believes her father lost his dream job to a less qualified candidate who was selected due to minority status, and that that job loss led to his mental decline - CJ Craig thinks that DEI hiring practices killed her father) because Allison Janney is an incredibly talented and charismatic actress who is elevating the hell out of her character.

But, you know, it would be kind of fucked up if a Democrat president's chief of staff was cheerfully on-record about the fact that she thinks intelligence agencies are more effective when nobody knows what they're doing so we should leave them to their own devices.

Thank you for the opportunity to rant i cannot fucking stand this show and i kind of want to do an episode-by-episode breakdown of various flavors of bullshit but there are much better things to do with my time so i don't but it's nice to have a chance to yell about the stuff that makes me crazy off the top of my head.

That said: if you want a podcast that is less vitriolic but does actually get into how parts of the US political system work, check out 5 to 4, which is a podcast by 3 lefty lawyers talking about Supreme Court decisions. It's great!

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

National Coming Out Day-October 11th! *this* part of Alex's speech is so important-the whole speech is-both versions-in the movie, and in the book.

"The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

This isn’t about shame. This is about privacy and the fundamental right of self-determination which are exactly the principles on which the struggle for queer liberation has always been fought."

this is history being made-this speech-in a movie that is so famous worldwide? and i believe there are quite many people who left the room when this speech was on, or some people who were too distracted by his eyelashes to actually hear what he was saying and it shows. damn, it shows.

so many public figures have been put through it-what Alex and Henry have been put through both in the movie+ the book-UNACCEPTABLE. and so often it's done by queer people, our lgbtq+ community doing this shit to others? THIS CAN'T KEEP HAPPENING.

Becky Albertalli, Kit Connor (just to name a few), and so, so many others. What makes you even think you have a right to know this about ANYONE?

This National Coming Out Day, if you're queer and scared and not "out" yet, I want you to listen to this. Alex's speech. (later on I will post pictures of both FULL SPEECHES(movie +book), it's okay if you don't want to come out, whatever you feel is alright. You don't owe anything to anyone, not your friends, family or co-workers, or schoolmates, no matter what the world around you makes you feel.

you matter, you're important, you're loved, and whatever you decide it's okay.

MOVIE VERSION SPEECH:

BOOK VERSION SPEECH:

♥

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by GAY TIMES (@gaytimes)

+

+we need MORE bisexuality in media!!

+ also queer history/facts from RWRB(Alex engaging with queer history)(thank you SO. MUCH. CASEY MCQUISTON!!)-GREAT POST here on tumblr!!-many links here, lots of information! (Waterloo Vase, Stonewall, SCOTUS decision 2015, Walt Whitman, Laws of Illinois 1961, The White Nights Riots, Paris Is Burning, THAT David Wojnarowicz photo 'If I Die Of AIDS-Forget Burial-Just Drop My Body On The Steps Of The F.D.A' https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757305651356729344?source=share (I encourage you to research more about David!!) , Thisbe & Pyramus, The V & A, James I & George Villiers and MORE!!) https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757308307835895808?source=share (Learning about things referenced in Red, White & Royal Blue, thank you @ elipheleh)

+important reading about AIDS/HIV: https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/139102124?shelf=about-aids-hiv

+ a special episode where we hear(literally) from listeners of the show who were lovers, nurses, relatives, students, and friends of people who died from AIDS. (have tissues nearby):https://open.spotify.com/episode/4rTjExVqMVoEtCVPISSW5t?si=Dx09EVStQAiNHoTYvwZvFw & https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-a-bit-fruity-with-matt-ber-117844074/episode/stories-from-the-aids-crisis-191687576/ +ofc THIS ep w Peter Staley :https://open.spotify.com/episode/1bpmgbS56oqjpLdhFqPhFQ?si=PKVw0V_MRx-ajGmVF-GM4Q (this ep of the podcast vid on ytube link in the post linked below/also ep on iheart link below as well!)

(+IMPORTANT) (Nov,2023)-A Bit Fruity Podcast (created by Matt Bernstein (gay American Jewish man) Ep with Moe Dabbagh, a gay Palestinian American with family currently in Gaza. ��Queers for Palestine & The Power of Pinkwashing’. Palestine has been occupied for more than 76 years now, since 1948 year. This ep gives you a LOT of information, especially if you are one of the people who can’t see right through the propaganda; or the ones who go ‘well if you’re gay then go to Gaza and see how that goes for you’. Queer Liberation is a liberation of Palestinian people. We can’t have one without the other. Free Palestine. Free all the people that are not yet free. This is where we start!! Ep on youtube :https://youtu.be/Xsgdk-DDSXc on spotify :https://open.spotify.com/episode/62WOjKJYih6lhuisP8tmZH?si=soRArGs1QeWqEzEaiSVlUg on iheartcom:https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-a-bit-fruity-with-matt-ber-117844074/episode/queer-palestinians-the-power-of-129612460/(keep learning & keep showing up!)

!!.http://alqaws.org/siteEn/index & https://queersinpalestine.noblogs.org/ + https://www.instagram.com/queersinpalestine/

+THIS(more important things):

+ https://www.queeringthemap.com/

bi ig highlight : https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18280848235083086/

also i recommend this podcast ‘A Little Queer Podcast’ by two incredible bisexual people Capri Campeau and Ashley Whitfield. episode linked here, ‘Debunking Bisexual Myths and Stereotypes’ :https://open.spotify.com/episode/3wcP8HBIY0IyVxROjpZPNg?si=TIHDv-eFQi-mdsCS6zKzNA (all covered here for real!) +also check ‘A Bit Fruity Podcast’ by Matt Bernstein (very educating one!!)

.

BOOKS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BISEXUAL HISTORY & ACTIVISM:https://www.tumblr.com/ruimtetijd/686000390089621504/list-of-books-about-bi-history-and-activism-from &https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/139102124?shelf=bi-bisexual-characters-done-well

.https://anythingthatmovesarchive.carrd.co/ &https://anythingthatmovesarchive.carrd.co/#scans &https://anythingthatmovesarchive.carrd.co/#about

THIS song (bi bi bi THIS IS OUR SONG!!) by Sub-Radio (the lead vocalist Adam Bradley is bisexual♥) :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765512527066087424?source=share &https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765512891127480320?source=share + THIS BAND SINGING THE BLACK PARADE but make it ever more queer pride parade♥ :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565710891155456?source=share &https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565917201612800?source=share (you’re scaring Ron you’re scaring Rooonn) + an awakening with HSM(?) :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565797378719744/mndvx-subradioband-happy-pride-yal-anyone?source=share

[laurenfoxmakesthings]

ID: A thread of tweets by PinkRangerLB, a trans lawyer, that say the following.

"We in the LGBTQ+ community must understand that our dead were real people. Vital, awake, worlds unto themselves, like us. They didn’t live and die for the sake of our learning, but they have a lot to teach.

I want to tell you about Hart Island and hope in the darkness. /1

When I say they were real people I mean I do not believe they are necessary sacrifices, or that our dead paid a cost for us. They loved, they feared, they had favorite TV shows and candy bars. They were here and it will never ever ever be okay that they’re gone. /2

They’re not symbols or metaphors. They had books to write, vacations to take, meals to cook, and the world would be better with them still in it. We aren’t enriched by death, but we can stand in their shoes and see the future. /3

Hart Island, if you don’t know, is where New York City buries bodies that aren’t claimed by a licensed funeral director. At the height of the AIDS epidemic funeral homes were urged not to embalm AIDS fatalities. /4

In New York, as elsewhere, stigma toward the queer community was at a level that even now it can be difficult to remember. Many queer people who died of AIDS had been disowned by their birth family because of their identity, their HIV status, or both. /5

To make matters worse, their partners and found families had no rights to their medical care or their bodies after they passed. The hateful families that could claim them often didn’t, and the families that loved them were powerless to see to their wishes. /6

You can read more about all this at the memorial’s website, here:

hartisland.net/aids_initiative

/7

You can feel their weight, can’t you? The absence is heavy. And it’s important we understand that weight, because it’s a flat fact that current attacks on LGBTQ+ rights, trans rights especially, will kill people. There will be more absence, and it is not okay. /8

And when we say we have hope we are not saying it’s okay that they will be gone.

None of this ignores intersectionalism, higher rates of infection in targeted communities, death rates higher still. When I say things *can* get better I am not ignoring that improvement favors /9

the privileged.

Things got better. ACT UP and other activist groups organized and gained ground through community building, mutual aid, and grassroots action. Culturally, the tide began to turn. Federal action by Reagan and then Clinton contributed very little /10

(and in fact often caused harm). Direct action by activists galvanized AIDS research and the tide turned with very little government help.

In New York City, the death rate for HIV/AIDS patients fell by 62% from 2001 to 2012. So here’s what I’m saying. We’ve been seeing /11

an escalating backlash against LGBTQ people for years now. It gets very easy for us to come to expect the worst case scenario. Trump won, states are attacking trans kids, Roe was overturned. So now we say WHEN the Supreme Court overturns gay marriage, WHEN a national /12"

abortion ban passes, WHEN trans healthcare for adults gets criminalized.

And don’t get me wrong, those are all very real threats. We have to fight like hell. I am not pretending that times aren’t dark, that people won’t die, or that it will ever be okay that our people will /13

suffer and die. But things can, and do, get better when we fight, when we look after each other. The tide will not inevitably turn, but *we* can turn it. We can say that when the wall finally fell, our hands were there, pulling it down brick by brick. /14

And those we lost, if we remember them, honor them, we are their hands too. /15"

[silverjirachi]

i said it in the tags but i really need to say it out here. cecil palmer was so important to me. there are people on this website now young enough who don’t know who he is, who don’t know how important WTNV was to anyone gay and on this website in 2012, and that’s okay, but i want to put this in circulation because those of you who don’t know genuinely deserve to know.

the world we live in now is very, very different than the world we lived in even just ten years ago. It was not that long ago, I cannot emphasize this enough. Cecil Palmer was canonically gay in a well-known podcast in 2012. He openly and lovingly talked about his crush and eventual partner and it was never once treated as a joke. That was unheard of in 2012. Gay marriage was not even legalized in the United States until 2015 and it felt like we were on thin ice the entire time. We still are. But there just straight up werent any visibly gay characters in popular media who weren’t either side characters, died, or were treated as jokes. Cecil Palmer was voiced by a gay and HIV-positive man who also had a lot of say in the way he was portrayed. That is why he was so real, that is why he was so genuine.

And that meant. So much.

We still struggle to have that kind of representation today, and we saw it in 2012.

For those of you who don’t know who Cecil Palmer is, I’m not asking you to vote for him. But I am trying to tell you what he means to the people who were your age on this website in 2012, and why so many people are voting for him now. We were scared, and starved for that representation, and felt alone. To me, at least, and to many others, Cecil was hope.

In fact, Cecil was such a lovingly-made and genuine representation of gay love, specifically, that my mother, who to this day is still pretty homophobic and is deeply religious, would text me updates about cecil and carlos’ relationship. She was happy for them. My “keep it out of my face” mother was happy for cecil and carlos and was excited to hear their updates. THAT is what WTNV meant, and I still think of that moment sometimes when I need love, when I need hope, and when I am feeling alone.

And if you do want to see that kind of representation (that ran its full course!! and wasn’t cancelled or rushed prematurely!!!) then I highly recommend you do check out Welcome to Night Vale eventually. It was one of the first podcasts to ever get big, in fact arguably podcasts wouldn’t be what they are today without it, and it is such a funny and beautiful and unique little thing about daily life in the weirdest eldtrich horror town in the middle of fucking nowhere.

[bengiyo]

The Sign Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we learned about the childhood connection between Phaya and Tharn and Tharn saving his life. We also learned that Tharn is afraid of loving someone because they'll get hurt. We had some great tourism content, some more world building that I will direct you to @telomeke to read, and also a fun fight sequence. Now, it's time for some cop stuff.

What in the NCIS: Bangkok have we walked into now?? If Scott Bakula shows up I will lose it.

Whoa. He can grab me by the shirt too.

I'm curious about the naga politics in play around Tharn. What are the stakes in play for everyone concerned about Tharn's previous life's offenses?

Phaya walked into this apartment like, "Oh, a large?"

I'm so sick of these hotel rooms with a window into the bathroom.

I can't believe we're being treated to the wet dream of a bottom. We stay winning.

Girl, not him reminiscing about his dream at the stove! I'm so embarrassed!!

HE LIKES IT RAW!!!!! NOT IN 2023 YOU DON'T!! NOT WITH HIV INFECTION RATES AS HIGH AS THEY ARE.

Trousers too tight. Dick too big.

Me, every time I see Surprise.

When I mentioned heading into the Criminal Minds section of the show, I wasn't expecting us to actually get a Garcia-style character.

Why are they letting her walk into places first? They're the ones with guns!

A Molotov cocktail!!!

They did a good job setting up the track for this action shot in the forest.

I'm okay with them grabbing each other by the shirt like this.

I like that Tharn is concerned about the supernatural nature of his concern for Phaya.

I feel like the Inspector knows who the culprit is at this point.

So much jealousy!

The doc is intentionally antagonizing Phaya.

I'm with Phaya. Don't tell others about my dream I shared with you.

What in the HIStory 3: Trapped is happening in this preview?

I just love how different this show feels every week. This is fun.

[lesbian-cowpoke]

So I'm thinking about the symbolism associated with Mia Dearden's hair so here's me talking about it:

(Tw for the typical things associated with Mia, rape, child prostitution, drugs)

Okay. So the first time we see Mia, her hair is down.

And she's a child prostitute. Very unhappy, lots of trauma, ect ect.

And the first time we see her with a ponytail

She puts her hair up before standing up to her piece of shit pimp boyfriend.

The next time we see her hair down is when she's pissed at Ollie.

What's she mad at him for? Cheating on Dinah.

And after they hug it out Mia's hair is back in a ponytail.

Something I feel is important to point out is that even after she kills a guy, her hair is still in a ponytail.

But shortly after her hair is down again. Why?

Because she was diagnosed with HIV. Either from her prostitution or her doing meth.

And after she accepts her diagnosis, her hair is up again.

I will mention that the next time we sorta see her hair down is after she is blown up by Light/Merlyn and her hair is buzzed short. Once its long enough for her to tie it up, she does so. But all her hair being cut off could symbolize a couple things.

1: Rape. Her hair was forcibly taken from her via an explosion caused in part by Dr. Light, a rapist who rapes for power and to take things from people and to hurt. And Mia growing her hair out after that trauma could represent her healing.

2: Renewal. GA v3 can be split into 2 parts imo, pre Light explosion, and post Light explosion. Mia's hair being short symbolizes how far she has come since her introduction, how she has changed, ect ect.

I think its a little bit of both tbh.

After that, we se her hair down one more time.

After Red Hood brings up her past. Of prostitution and drugs. it clearly effects her, at least a little.

And after, her hair is in a ponytail again.

Mia's hair is deeply, deeply symbolic to her. It represents her past. It hold memories, a concept seen in many, many cultures. When something traumatic happens to her regarding sex, her hair is down. (Yes, that does include Ollie cheating on Dinah. It may not be as traumatic as the other things, but having a parent cheat on the other does cause a small amount of trauma. it is a Bad Sex Thing, and Mia's hair goes down when Bad Sex Things happen.)

Now, this does tend to be a GA v3 specific thing. But i think it maybe can be applied to other comics, if the writers are aware (and if you really like out there comic theories.)

Like at the DinahOllie wedding. Could her hair be half up half down because ponytails are informal? Probably. But maybe it could also symbolize something good, like half up means its a good marriage. Or maybe it symbolizes something bad, like the fact that it was an imposter Ollie.

Or Mia's new hair.

Her undercut. Maybe it means nothing but looking cool and helping differentiate her from Cissie (and Connor with his long hair lmao). Maybe it means she's a lesbian. Maybe it symbolizes something taken from her, what with her being missing from existence for a bit. The time she never got to live or something.

ANyways thats my long post about Mia's hair because she makes me feral oh my god the symbolism Mia Dearden I love you.

[33max]

Bean, I just read your fic "nobody wins a war" a couple days ago. It is so unique and well written. Could you tell us more about it? What happened after they move to San Francisco? Thank you.

It’s almost a year old now, and it’s still the fic I am most proud of to be honest! (x)

Max and Daniel move into a tiny one bedroom flat in San Francisco, but it’s all they need. They spend a while just… settling in. They have to do things like scout out a new busking spot for Daniel (very important!), find a new physiotherapist for Max (as the VA doesn’t exist yet), make friends in the community etc etc.

Not too long after they move Carlos gets injured in Vietnam, he’s discharged from the United States Army, leaving Charles alone out there. Max worries himself sick, he’s not there, Pierre isn’t there, Carlos isn’t there to keep Charles safe. He knows Charles won’t be coping, and he’s proven right when Charles appears on his doorstep late one evening.

Charles has been discharged on psychiatric grounds, and he’s in active addiction, which Max half expected. He’s seen what people do to cope. He doesn’t blame Charles at all.

For a while it’s really hard, Charles inhabits their sofa, screams at night, argues with Max during the day, and then cries. And cries. And cries.

Daniel and Max help him get involved in local rehab centres, there’s one that a member of the community has set up specifically for young gay men. It’s a good thing for Charles, a real turning point, and it is where things start to improve for him.

Over the years Daniel gets involved in lots of different types of activism. Max is more of a quiet supporter, but it works for the two of them.

When the war officially ends, Max cries deep heaving sobs of relief into Daniel’s shoulder. They take a walk out to the Golden Gate that evening, and Daniel encourages Max to climb up, hold the railings and scream out into the bay. He does, and then he kisses Daniel out there in the open.

Years later, Daniel is involved heavily in HIV/AIDS awareness campaigns and Max worries for him, worries about the names Daniel gets called, worries for their community. There’s not a huge amount of understanding and at the time so they also worry for their own health (they only sleep with each other and they are clean so it’s okay, but they don’t know that).

But one thing is for sure: they grow old together and their home is filled with song and laughter, and eventually Max’s nephews will visit from Eugene. They grow up knowing that love is love and Uncle Max loves Uncle Daniel and that sometimes people are mean but kindness is the future 🥺♥️

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

Oh hello again everyone! Apologies to the three people who are probably interested in this syllabus journey for falling off the face of the earth for the last few months. Had a lot of life changes and travel going on and have not been falling desperately behind in all of the things I have been watching. Now that I am back home for more than two days at a time, I figured I should get back into the swing of things with @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus.. With this post I am officially wrapping up Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley and will get to reap my reward with Lesbians and Gems for Units 5 and 6. As a reminder the films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995)

Today I will be talking about:

Boys on the Side (1995) dir. Herbert Ross

[Run Time: 1:55, I watched it through Plex, Language: English]

Summary: Robin shares a ride in her car with Jane from New York to Los Angeles. They stop at Jane's friend Holly's place in Pittsburgh and take her with them west, making a long stop in Tucson. The three very different women become close friends.

Cast:  - Whoopi Goldberg as Jane - Mary-Louise Parker as Robin - Drew Barrymore as Holly

___

OKAY. Shout out to me for getting through the final film in Heartbreak Alley without crying! 

A trend I have noticed throughout the sad films in this section is that the vast majority of them hold the sadness until the end, which is super fair, but also something I would consider to be rather kind. Maybe it’s just me, but seeing Mysterious Skin so early on in this syllabus really altered my perception of what a difficult movie looked and felt like. The movie that compromised me the most in this unit was far and away Strange Fruit, which sits in the Mysterious Skin camp of being great and also something I will struggle to ever watch again. By comparison, a lot of the Heartbreak Alley films were fine. 

I liked how much Boys on the Side was about the bonds between women and the importance of found family. I love a movie where the premise is: girls do crime and then hit the road together. I like how expertly this film was able to pull back the layers on Robin, until you hit the reveal of her HIV diagnosis. When we first meet her, she’s just a kind of put together, somewhat annoying and anal white woman that wants to hit the road for god knows what reason, and you (and Jane) roll your eyes a little at how often she is sanitizing things. 

And then she vomits, and you can kind of just dismiss it as the allergies she says it is. 

And then Jane leaves the car to go see Holly and Robin uses that moment alone to take some medication, and things start to unravel. She goes to bed really early, she looks haggard the longer they are endurance testing their driving on the road. Something is definitely wrong with her, and BOOM, she’s collapsed and is hospitalized, and you find out she’s HIV positive. 

I liked how distinct all three of the main characters felt, and I liked their friendship with one another. The full blown, silent conversations that can pass between them. I like the little moments in a slice of life, the birthday parties, the dancing, Jane making Robin shout “Cunt” because she feels uncomfortable referring to her vagina. I liked that having HIV was just a detail in her life, and that the movie itself didn’t feel like An AIDS Movie. 

Even though Robin is surrounded by red the whole time, something which I usually associate with AIDS itself because of blood and red ribbons. Robin’s car is red, the lighting in her first hospital room is read, the list of plumbers and landlords she leaves on the fridge at her old apartment in New York is red, they settle in Tuscon, they live in a house made of red clay. But she is never the one that is painted in it. She never wears red, she is not the one painted by it. Jane is the one that bleeds in this film, Jane is the one washed in the red lights of the hospital. But the bigger instances of red: the car, the house contains an entire life inside it. A friendship. Happiness, sadness, anger, joy. You barely even notice that it’s there. 

When Robin’s initial case of pneumonia was resolved, the doctor wasn’t worried about it, and even though Robin did pass by the end of the film, the movie itself wasn’t about her dying of AIDS. It was about the friendship between Jane, Robin, and Holly. At least that’s how it felt for me. 

Definitely my favorite part of this film was that Robin was allowed to be absolutely pissed and to kick Jane out of the house when Jane revealed her status to the man Robin liked. Jane was just trying to be helpful, and the man himself was very chill and totally fine with her status. But Jane didn’t have a right to disclose that information. 

I want to know more about the writers of this film, because I liked that the person in the movie who had AIDS was not the former drug user, or the queer person, but the heterosexual, cisgender, white real estate agent. That it seems to have been a little bit of time since she got her diagnosis, and she’s got a handle on how she is dealing with her grief. She doesn’t pity herself, once Jane and Holly know about it, she’s very casual with her references to the blood tests she needs, etc. 

Even if AIDS is a death sentence still in a movie like this one, I still think the film itself is kind about how they portray it. Robin can still be there for the people she cares about. She can get a very violent situation under control, she can fly across the country and testify to try to help Holly, she brings Jane happiness, music, fun. She doesn’t want a funeral, she wants a big party in the house they shared. She makes it long enough to tell Jane she was loved, to go home and meet Holly’s baby. 

We don’t have to watch her die, and even though the last scene of the film itself is an empty house, the understanding that Robin is dead, we don’t have to see her mother, who already lost her husband and her son, mourn her, we don’t have to watch her die. And we are immediately handed the end credit title cards that are just a compilation of the happy moments between Jane, Holly, and Robin. They don’t make you sit in the emotions there for very long. You get the sad scene of Robin seeing the visage of her dead brother, telling Jane what she wants to happen after she’s passed. And then it is immediately followed with a birth, with happiness and humor. You get the happiness of the baby shower when Holly gets out of prison and then the sadness of a shared song and an empty house, and Jane painting her nails in the car as she continues on her journey. And then you get Robin’s face, smiling away, laughter, chaos, joy at all these little moments in the film. 

A good movie to end this section on, both as a wind down piece and as an appetizer for Unit 5: Lesbians. 

Favorite Moment

I think my favorite moment of the film was when Jane and Robin meet Abe for the first time. Mostly because it is absolutely fucking hilarious to watch the paragraphs of silent, judgemental conversation they are having with each other while simultaneously trying to process that Holly who accidentally murdered a guy is dating a cop. It was truly such an expert portrayal of the psychic connections you forge between close friends. 

Favorite Quote 

“Everyone go potty, we don’t want to have to stop,”

I know what you are thinking. “Wen, why the fuck is that your favorite quote of the film?” It’s because of the context. Picture this, you have entered an apartment that is not your own after seeing through the window that the person who responded to your newspaper ad looking for a road trip buddy is in a fight with a random guy. The apartment you enter is a mess and your road trip buddy and her friend are bleeding at the hands of an abusive, drug dealing, asshole. You have managed to get the situation under control once already through sheer force of reasonable suggestion, only to have it ruined when this woman you do not know hits the abusive fucker over the head with a baseball bat. 

THEN because you don’t want to murder him, but you also don’t want him to catch up to you, you and these two women you barely know, tie this man to a chair with rope and duct tape. You have thought through the timing of how long it will take him to break through the binds and have thought about the noise and found a music disc that will last long enough to give you one hell of a head start. You are standing next to this guy who just beat up two people you barely know, who you have hog tied, and who is bleeding from his temple, and in the flattest, most mother telling her child to do a simple task way, you suggest that everyone uses the potty before they essentially enter a getaway car and escape from the scene of this assault. It was just so fucking funny to me. 

Score 

8/10 

I enjoyed the movie, but I think I wanted a little bit more attention and depth on Jane and less on Holly. I think there were a few too many threads going on, and that some of the set up was unnecessary. But I had a good time. 

And that’s it! I have finished Unit 4, I have so many more films to watch, but I inch ever closer to getting to rewatch Big Eden so onward I charge!

[kcrabb88]

So it's gonna be a while before this gets posted because I've got other stuff and I'm probably going to write this whole thing (for once) before I start uploading (I'm thinking it'll be about 5 chapters) but I'm obsessed with my QuinObi AIDS Crisis AU (set from 88-96) entitled Blood Makes Noise and wanted to share this little snippet I have after Obi-Wan gets his diagnosis (he is one of the lucky ones who survives in the end but obviously he doesn't know that here and it's a hard road):

There’s just one name that feels right when the kind nurse asks him if there's anyone he wants to call. Quinlan Vos.   His best friend (love of his life).  Best. Friend.   (Love of his life).   Positive.  

HIV … positive.   “Honey?” the nurse prods, putting one hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. She’s not scared to touch him. Not scared to breathe his air.   “Yes.” Obi-Wan swallows, and the test results crumple in his clenched and shaking fist. “I’d like to call my best friend. Can I … could I use your phone?”   His runs his thumb over the ACT UP button on his denim jacket while he waits for her to cart the phone in so he can call in private. It was one year ago today, exactly one year, when he heard Larry Kramer’s speech at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Services Center.    When he heard him say AIDS was allowed to happen. It is a plague that need not have happened. Quin was there too.   Quin’s voice is muffled with sleep when he answers. There aren’t music classes at the elementary school where he teaches on Fridays, so he must have slept-in.   “Lo?”   At first, Obi-Wan simply can’t speak.   “Anyone there?”   “Quin?”   Tears cut into Obi-Wan’s voice despite himself.   “Obes? You okay?”  Quinlan asks in the lyrical lilt of his Haitian accent. “I’m at the HIV clinic down the street from my apartment. I’m—”  He can’t say it. He must say it. He has to be brave enough to say what thousands of dead men before him have said to their loved ones.   “I’m positive, Quin.” Obi-Wan breathes in deep. “I ... I can't call my dad yet." Even the thought of Qui-Gon makes Obi-Wan want to cry again. Qui-Gon, who is sitting at his desk at the ACLU without the knowledge that the kid he adopted and loves so much will die before he does. "I can't ... can you come?”   “I’ll be there in ten, babe,” Quinlan says without a moment’s, a second’s, hesitation. “We'll call Qui-Gon together, yeah? Just sit right there. Right there, okay?”  Obi-Wan says he will.   So, he waits.   He calculates.  

[absolutebl]

any other high quality bls like itsay?🥲

Okay, to start, none of the below posts have been updated in a while so I would add these 2022-2023 offerings:

Eternal Yesterday *

The Eighth Sense

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us*

Moonlight Chicken

Sing My Crush*

Tokyo in April is

I Feel You Linger in the Air

ALSO, currently airing Unknown and Gray Shelter.

With regards to ITSAY I am not your huckleberry but here's what I got for ya...

And pulling from the "moody arthouse smackdoodle" list in this post about BL's dark side:

Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan 2020 Netflix) - this movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing, it’s a self acceptance journey, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. 

Goodbye Mother AKA Thua Me Con D (Vietnam 2019 Netflix) - like YNEH this is a great movie but it deals openly with homophobia, bashing, family trauma and social acceptance. 

For Love, We Can (Hong Kong 2014) - an indie movie about parental homophobia, light/dark pairing, and (of course) HIV. 

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - obsession, cheating, breakup, reunion, then break up again, explicit. 

Pornographer movie series - AKA The Novelist, Mood Indigo, Pornographer Playback (Japan 2018-2020) emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December (age gap AKA younger/older), kink, touch of necrophilia, explicit.   

Method (Korea 2017) - May/December, actor idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but it’s more about the actor cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated this. And I don’t say that lightly. 

Itsuka no Kimi e (Japan 2007 YouTube) - okay this is basically about a college student who saves this boy from drowning and then gets embroiled in his, and his identical twin’s messed up lives. It goes very weird.

His the series AKA I Didn’t Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan 2019) - boy goes to visit his absent father ends up kinda homeless on the beach gets adopted by local family falls in love with the boy working and living with them. Lots of long drawn out glances. 

Innocent (Taiwan 2021 GaGa) - mental health, childhood trauma, actually kinda sweet. 

More on ISTAY et al here.

* are ones that I don't recommend if you have the same taste as me, but I DNF'd ITSAY so, you calearly don't have the same taste

[skaruresonic]

My memory on the topic is foggy. How was Shadow supposed to cure Maria?

I'm not fully understanding the relation between Shadow being the ultimate lifeform and Gerald finding a cure for Maria's illness

Okay so Shadow is the perfect being. What does that have to do with Maria's sickness?

Idk. She's dying from anime mom disease. That's all the series needs you to know.

I don't particularly remember the games specifying how Shadow would cure her. Ironic, because now that the third film is coming out, people are trying to shock normies by portraying NIDS as "space AIDS," which is just tasteless, and probably a big part of the reason why SoJ quietly shied away from labeling Maria's disease in subsequent years.

"The fictional disease is described in the guide as fatal and which renders its victims physically weak, a symptom that worsens until eventual death." First of all, Maria must have been the other weapon of mass destruction being developed aboard the ARK if this is her nerfed version. Girl is terminally ill and can not only keep up with Shadow with only a little shortness of breath to show for it, but can also destroy robots through the patented 'botnik family bitch-slap.

Second... a disease that weakens people? You mean like cancer? You mean like chronic anemia? You mean like pretty much any disease ever, because fighting disease consumes large amounts of energy? Wow, this is so reminiscent of AIDS. Truly, my third eye has been blown wide open.

Maria essentially has, for lack of a better term, Mary Shepherd-Sunderland Syndrome. You're not supposed to delve too closely into the details because that's not the point.

No lie, the last time I took a hiatus from listening to Castlesuperbeast was because a fan wrote to Pat and Woolie about the third film, describing NIDS as "space AIDS" and Shadow as "canonically immune to HIV."

The two of them proceeded to make homophobic Sonadow jokes.

Love those guys, but every now and again I receive a harsh reminder that they're normies. As with all normies who are irony-poisoned, their Sonic takes are so rancid. It's like a switch gets flipped in their brains and suddenly they have to slag off the series.

You might argue that both NIDS and WMDs are too topical for a Sonic game, but the reason I get heated about mocking the former and not the latter is because we haven't all perished in nuclear war yet. The mass hysteria over WMD development ultimately amounted to George W. Bush blowing hot air.

However, entire generations of queer people were systematically killed through the government's negligent response to the AIDS crisis. It is beyond disrespectful to describe Maria's condition as "space AIDS" just to shock normies into thinking SA2 is Deep and Dark(tm), precisely because fuckwads are going to make jokes like this on the basis that lol funny blue cartoon hedgehogs shouldn't tackle serious topics. Shame on them.

...Anyway.

---

I'm not fully understanding the relation between Shadow being the ultimate lifeform and Gerald finding a cure for Maria's illness

Since the morpheme "neuro-" features in NIDS, it's probably safe to say the condition is genetic in nature. And because Shadow's new Parasite Eve schtick is being explored in SxS Gens, the cure likely has something to do with gene manipulation.

While I wouldn't like it to be explicitly named in the games - nor call it canon because there's zero evidence - if you forced me to come up with an explanation, I would also call stem cells a candidate. Savior siblings of children with cancer are often conceived with the intent to harvest the stem cells of the umbilical cord.

[velvetvexations]

It seems appealing, but until I was gifted a Steamdeck recently I couldn't play it and it's still quite expensive. Generally though I do prefer FPSs.

lmao right

1) A few people get called out for genuinely, undeniably heinous behavior, with receipts showing exactly what they're purported to show, loud and clear. Maybe they molested kids, maybe they started a cult, maybe it turned out that all their social justice talk was a smokescreen for hate recruiting, maybe they'd been catfishing for clout and profit, maybe they'd been trawling the site the callout is on for people to scam and abuse, maybe it's even more than one of the above. Whatever it is, it's unequivocally bad and SOMETHING has to be done and the systems at hand have sweet fuckall TO do about it, so a warning to the community it is! 1.5) People are primed to believe, when they see a callout post, that yes, what this person did was AWFUL. 2) People seeing that this works - and often genuinely but incorrectly believing that they have another equally bad case on their hands - start posting callouts about shit like friend drama (that wasn't a fight, it was ABUSE) or media taste (I heard he watched Dragon Maid, PEDO ALERT!!!) or consensual kinks (can you BELIEVE she misgendered another girl who asked her to??? Disgusting!). Most but not all of these target marginalized people, because of course it's easier to make a mountain of a molehill when people have a preexisting bias to believe it's a mountain (though contrary to popular current belief, it's usually not one specific group in particular). 3) People start fighting over the utility of callouts - some people believe these bits of nonevidence are TOTALLY proof of wrongdoing, others start to get alarm fatigued because surprise surprise, it's WAY harder to find people who are actually stealing and selling human bones, or lying about being HIV+ sex trafficking survivors for discourse cred, or starting entire cult houses, than it is to find...people who aren't perfect friends 100% of the time, or who like media that squicks you out; a few people still manage to fall somewhere in between. 4) Callouts fall off in frequency until someone does something SO heinous as to return us to step 1. I feel like we're kinda between steps 3 and 4 here, as a site at large - which, ironically, makes me all that much more suspicious when someone highlights a specific group as being the ONLY one targeted and harmed by fake callouts.

Eyyup.

Also, even callout posts that have legitimate grievances tend to do the Wendigoon thing where it's frontloaded with ridiculous bullshit before it gets to "also, this person murdered twelve women from 1999 to 2004." Like, why did I hear about how Vivziepop using voodoo aesthetic risked her staff being haunted to death by spirits before I heard she thinks non-binary people are faking being trans for attention?

I went into a restaurant to order some takeout while Original Mall Anon waited in the car, and when I went to get our sodas, there were these three preppy girls just...congregating there, taking up the space long after they'd finished getting their own, blocking anyone else from getting their drinks without asking them to move and, I shit you not, talking about buying shit from Hollister. Half of me, in the present, was like "okay. They're younger than me. I shouldn't be MEAN. This is a minor rudeness, I don't need to make a whole Thing of it." Half of me was violently removed from my body and de-aged to 15 because what the fuck, I was standing there, dark clothes, dyed hair, Hot Topic bag in hand, being treated like an annoying nonentity by a bunch of preppy girls who were acting like they fuckin owned the place, that was something I thought wasn't supposed to HAPPEN outside of high school and yet here I was, uh, catching up on missed experiences to a level I REALLY didn't expect to happen at a Wingstop.

God how I want some Wingstop. I love every part of this, anon. Perhaps your mall is truly unteathered from time and space.

It's completely mindless harassment without any real point and if they show up on one of your posts you should report them.

Hell yes.

Well, that's fucking stupid.