#IDK can I watch you play this it makes me feel uncomfortable and sick

[niuniente]

And it's not just the imagery that's upsetting, the lore and stories are, too! Every single item you get comes with a really sad story, like "Eduardo was a skilled robe maker. People came from close and far to buy his reliable robes which didn't break under any pressure. Eduardo valued his skills until he was hung with his own robe."

Look, Blasphemous is a great game. That’s undeniable. But, I also can’t play it for more than a couple hours because of the uniquely upsetting imagery that I’m constantly bombarded with.

Which is to say, Blasphemous is an amazing game that I’d recommend to anyone. Yes, even my grandmother.

[b2cute]

Tense

matt and fem!reader

warnings: use of y/n, fluff, pet names, that’s it enjoy :)

word count: idk

*y/ns pov*

I drop my bags almost immediately after entering the triplets house. It was finally the weekend and they, mostly Matt, invited me to spend the night after work. I wasted no time saying yes since I was free and find myself now heading up the stairs into their LA house. I throw my shoes off nearby the second case of stairs and walking to Matt’s bathroom to freshen up.

I figured they were all in their rooms doing their own thing so I decided to throw a movie on the couch as to not bother them. I across through netflix until a show caught my eye as I begin to watch.

*matts pov*

It’s been about two hours since y/n was supposed to be home and honestly, she was starting to worry me. She hasn’t entered my room at all or contacted me. Ending the livestream, I head over to the kitchen to grab my phone and call her when I see an arm with painted acrylics hanging from the white plush couch.

I smiled to myself and headed over to see y/n sprawled out on top of the pillows in what seemed like the most uncomfortable position known to man. “Y/n, y/n sweetheart come to my room it’s freezing out here” I whisper in an attempt to soothe her already furrowed eyebrows. “What?” She questions, rubbing her eyes with her hands and lifting herself off the couch. She immediately winces from the pain in her back. “Let’s go sweet girl, I’ll take care of you just get changed and go lay in bed” I whisper, leaning over to plant a short but sweet kiss on her lower cheek.

With that y/n gets up from bed and heads over to my room while I tidy up the living room and take her phone to place on the charger. I head over to the kitchen fill up a cold glass of water how she likes it and shuffle into the bedroom.

The lights were dim with my computer screen flashing white, and the black silk covers were hidden with y/n on top of them. I make my way over to the monitor and shut the computer down as I change out of my clothes, leaving my boxers on. I look over to see y/n tensed up on the bed with a distressed expression painted on her tired face. “What’s bothering you, my love? Talk to me” I say as I climb into the bed hovering over her. “My back, it’s hurting from god knows what” she replies. My heart aches to see her in pain. Whenever I’m sick she calls out of work to take care of me, and here I was feeling helpless. “Oh baby” I whisper leaning to give her a light hug where she tenses up even more under my touch.

After a moment of holding y/n, an idea pops up in my head. “Baby, can you lay on your stomach for me please?” I ask, my face bright from the idea. Confused, y/n turns around nonetheless and rests on her stomach, her head turned to the right facing Matt. “Okay, this might hurt at first but then it’s going to feel good, I promise” I reassure and I slowly straddle my poor girl.

“Matt, what are you doing, I’m not in the mood” She rolls her eyes and lets out a soft chuckle. “No, baby, not what you think we’re doing just close your eyes and relax— here” I hand her the remote lying next to my pillow, “play some music that will soothe you.

Y/n lets out a soft sigh as she hits a playlist with some of her favorite songs, the first one being my personal favorite too. I let out a content hum and I place my hands and the hem of her hoodie and slowly lift it, careful not to hurt her.

I get up momentarily to grab some moisturizer and come back to see y/n almost drifting to sleep once again. I return to straddle her, resting my weight on her butt to not hurt her, and sink. I begin to lather the moisturizer and carefully carefully spread it through her back.

Y/n tenses up again and furrows her eyebrows, as a way of saying “Too rough.” I quickly stop my tracks and go light as I begin on her lower back, kneading the muscles and massaging them. “Baby, you’re so tight, what’s been bothering you” I question, she shrugs before responding. “I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is, work has been overwhelming, not living with my mom and dad anymore, it’s just starting to get to me a bit, you know?” her response was just a little bit louder than the music behind us “Yes, baby, of course, I understand, moving to LA with Chris and Nick was the last thing I expected to happy to me, but look at here we are, as long as you’re happy with the decisions you make, there should be no reason for you to feel stressed about it, and don’t bottle it up and take it out on yourself, please come talk to me right away, my love” I reassure her and I move my hands up to the middle of her back. She lets out a soft nod and smiles as I work my hands into a circular motion, getting all the knots and undoing them.

After five minutes or so, y/n starts to relax her shoulders, perfect for me to reach over and massage them myself. She lets out a breath that’s been held and immediately relaxes under my touch, for the first time today. As I smile to myself. I bend over to kiss her on the back of her neck, hugging her from behind.

We stayed like this for a while, drifting off to sleep when a loud bang was heard from the kitchen. I quickly sit up, causing y/n to return to consciousness. “What was that” she asks, her voice groggy. “I’ll go check baby,” I say as I crawl out of the bed, the blanket never leaving us.

I head over to the kitchen, annoyed, as I stare at Chris and Nick laughing their asses off. “What’s so hilarious you had to be this loud” I groan, still half-asleep. They just stared at each other momentarily before laughing again, Nick holding onto the counter for stability while Chris cried. “It's just this—” again cut off by more laughing. I glare at the two until I notice the grip of Chris’s phone and a silhouette of my bed displayed. I walk over there and snatch the phone from Chris’s hand, only to see a picture of me and y/n asleep.

I bite back a laugh as I roll my eyes in annoyance, turning to my room. “You guys are ridiculous” I yawn, and all you can hear is their snickers fading away.

I enter the dim room to see y/n perched up against the headboard, her phone in her hand. “Everything alright, Matt?” she asks, tilting her head slightly. “Everything’s fine, baby, let’s just go back to sleep please” I groan, my voice was becoming tired and my eyelids were fighting to stay open. “I’m energized and my back feels amazing. Come here let me make you feel better” she grins, steering and opening her arms.

I waste no time practically jumping onto the bed. I bring my head onto y/n’s chest, my cheeks resting on her breast and my legs on top of hers. My arms snake around her waist and my eyes shut due to the lack of sleep I've had. “Get some rest, pretty boy” she whispers. Y/n’s hand played with my messy hair as she reached over to plant a kiss on my forehead. “Mm- love you” I mumble before finally resting, safe in y/n's arms.

The end hoes 😜

taglist:

@mqttittude @luverboychris @knowingnothingnoel @whicked-hazlatwhore @mattsdinosweater @n00dl3zzz @sophssturn @sstvrnioloo @sturnioloenthusiast @lolasturniolo @mattsleftnipple03 @ilovemenwithlonghairr @lacysturniolo @guccifrog @hearts4chriss @sttzee @stunza @fawned01 @sillysillygyal @skyslondon @stu2719962

[reidmania]

sharpest tool | s.reid

(chapter four, motion sickness)

'I hate you for what you did and I miss you like a little kid. i faked it every time but that's alright. i can hardly feel anything, i hardly feel anything at all, I have emotional motion sickness somebody roll the windows down, there are no words in the english language, i could scream to drown you out'

summary; you never had someone make you feel safe enough to open up, until spencer. now trying to cope with his sudden absence you learn to lean on your new found friendship with his coworker, penelope.

warnings; fem reader, mentions of bad relationships, ghosting, commitment issues, self doubt & overthinking, preettyy angsty idk guys, no comfort yet but there is some fluff, and theres penelope & reader friendship!! reader lowkey shit talks spencer but he deserves it. reader is embarrassed & upset. reader is lowkey really mean, but shes coping guys. i think this is my favourite chapter out of all of them.

2.3k words

taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea a @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules

SERIES MASTERLIST

The lights are low, casting a soft, warm glow on the room, making it feel almost too cozy for the storm of emotions swirling inside of you. Penelope sits across from you on the other side of the coffee table, her vibrant personality seeming muted for once. She’s not wearing her usual bright colors, just a simple oversized shirt and pajama pants, the kind of clothes that scream comfort. It fits the night. It fits the conversation.

“You want to talk about it?” Penelope asks, voice gentle, but still full of that spark of energy that only she has. There’s no judgment there. Her eyes made you believe there never would be.

Your fingers tug absentmindedly at a loose thread on the hem of your sweatpants, the silence stretching between you like an invisible barrier. But it’s not an uncomfortable silence. Penelope doesn’t push. She doesn’t know you well enough to push. You’re not sure how to start, not sure how to talk about something you’re still struggling to process.

The night had consisted of making cookies, watching sickeningly sweet romance films you both gushed over — there were numerous times you had to stop your mind from drifting to Spencer, and when it did, you felt a sickening ache in your stomach. For the most part, besides those moments where the room fell quiet and your mind drifted, the night had been great.

“He just... stopped,” you whisper, voice barely audible, but Penelope catches it. Her eyes soften, and she leans forward slightly, offering silent encouragement for you to continue. "One day, Spencer was there, and the next... he wasn't. Theoretically of course..”

Spencer was different to anyone else you met, or at least he seemed that way. You thought he understood you. The way he listened, the way his eyes softened when he looked at you, the way he made you feel like you could breathe around him. No one had ever done that for you before. But then, when things had started getting real—when you both were on the verge of making it official—he disappeared. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was a commitment issue thing. Or if he really just had been playing with you the entire time.

“I don’t understand why,” you continue, the words tumbling out faster now, as if saying them out loud will make them make sense. “One day, we were close. He’d text me every morning. He’d ask how I was feeling, what I was doing. He made me feel… seen. Like he actually cared. And then, nothing. No calls, no messages. He just—”

“Ghosted you?” Penelope finishes for you, and the bluntness of the term hits you harder than you thought it would. You nod, feeling the sting of it all over again.

“He just disappeared,” you say, the words coming out harsh, jagged. You laugh bitterly, but there’s no humor in it. “Like I wasn’t even worth an explanation.”

Penelope’s hand reaches across the table, her fingers curling around yours in a comforting squeeze. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, just lets you sit with the weight of your own pain. But her presence, her warmth, makes it feel a little less suffocating.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she murmurs, her thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Spencer… he’s complicated. I don’t know why he did this to you, but I can tell you for sure, it’s not your fault. It never was.”

You close your eyes for a second, trying to swallow down the hurt, but it lingers there, a dull ache that refuses to fade. It’s not just about Spencer ghosting you; it’s about all the hope you had pinned on him. You thought he was different, thought he could be the person who made you feel safe in a way you had never felt before.

You couldn’t help the embarrassment you felt, all you had been thinking about for days was ‘how could i be so stupid.’ You had your guard up for a reason. You didn’t date for a reason, and the fact that you had let him let you forget that. You were so mad at yourself.

You missed Spencer more than you were willing to admit. Sleep evades you, and when it comes, it’s restless—haunted by the ghost of his touch. Your limbs grew weary, not from movement but from the effort of carrying the silence he left behind.

Your lips twitch into a bitter smile. “Yeah, well, maybe that’s on me. I was stupid for thinking it would be different.”

“No. Absolutely not,” Penelope says firmly, her voice suddenly fierce in a way that surprises you. “No. You were not stupid. You opened up because he made you feel like you could, and that’s on him, not you. He gave you the signals. He made the promises, and then he broke them. Spencer—he’s got his issues. He’s been through a lot, but that doesn’t excuse what he did to you. You deserved better.”

You pull your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as Penelope’s words sink in. It’s hard to believe that sometimes, that you deserved better. Spencer had made you feel like you could finally let your guard down, but in the end, it just made the hurt cut deeper. — Maybe thats all you’d ever deserve.

“He made me feel safe,” you admit, your voice breaking slightly. “Which i know sounds stupid— But— I don’t know.. I trusted him.”

“And then he took that away,” Penelope finishes, her voice softening again, filled with understanding. “It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be angry. You opened up to him because you trusted him, and he didn’t treat that trust the way he should have.”

You nod, biting your lip to keep the tears at bay. You hadn’t wanted to cry tonight. You hadn’t wanted to break down. But being here with Penelope, his friend, his co-worker, who was so sweet and so understanding, it’s harder to keep everything bottled up.

“I just don’t get it,” you say, voice shaking. “Why would he make me feel like I mattered, like we were something, and then just leave?”

Penelope sighs, leaning back against the couch. “Spencer’s not great at dealing with his emotions,” she explains gently. “He’s always in his head, analyzing things, trying to make sense of the world. But feelings aren’t always logical. And sometimes… sometimes he runs from things he can’t control.”

You shake your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “Well, he sure ran fast.”

Penelope gives you a sad smile, squeezing your hand again. “I know it doesn’t make it easier, but sometimes people can care about you and still hurt you. It doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real. It just means he is an idiot.”

You stare down at your hands, the weight of her words settling on your shoulders. Maybe she’s right. Maybe Spencer did care about you in his own way, but that didn’t change the fact that he left you when you needed him most. It didn’t change the fact that you were still trying to pick up the pieces of your heart while he was nowhere to be found.

“I mean, he’s so damn smart, right? So.. So smart, always figuring things out. But apparently, figuring out how to treat people isn’t part of his skill set.”

Penelope chuckles softly, though there’s no real humor in it. “Yeah, sometimes Spencer’s great at solving every problem except the ones that really matter.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” you mutter, shaking your head. The frustration still courses through your veins, and you grip the fabric of your pants tightly, trying to channel it somewhere, anywhere. “I’m not going to sit around waiting for some half-assed explanation either. If he wanted to tell me why he bailed, he would have.”

She nodded her head. “He is dumb.” She said.

A laugh passed through your lips as you nodded quickly in agreement. “How is he so smart — and sweet yet such a fucking coward? I’m so pissed that he couldn’t even end things in person — that he didn’t even say anything.” You ran your hands down your face.

Penelope smiled. Maybe you were being mean in order to deflect from the hurt in your heart and the way your brain fizzled with an overwhelming ache for the comfort of Spencer. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask him about it?” She asked.

You were quick to shake your head. While you were desperate for an answer of what you could have possibly done — you weren’t desperate enough to go through his friends to get an answer. You refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing you cared so much. “No. No- Please don’t— Does he even know we have been talking?” Penelope was quick to shake her head with a grin.

“Nope! I haven’t said anything to him.. I sent a photo to JJ earlier of your bobble head collection, but I highly doubt she would’ve just shown Spencer?” She mumbled, shrugging her shoulders slightly. The words made you frown, yet glad. You didn’t care about Penelope sharing your silly bobble head collection, it was something you were very proud of.

“I don’t really care if he knows. Is it bad I hope he is really mad? Like I hope he is really really pissed off about it. Is that petty?” You tumbled out the questions as your mind swirled. You hoped he was mad because at least then in some way maybe you could believe he cared.

“Yes. Definitely petty.” Penelope nodded, a playful smile on her face. “But— If anyone has a right to be petty, it’s you.. You’re handing this better than I would. i’d want to egg his house.” She shrugged, the words made a string of laughter leave your lips.

“I really really do want to” You said honestly, “maybe then he would have to say something” It was silly, but it would lie to say the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. It was childish, and immature and so petty, but leaving someone with no explanation was also just as childish and immature so in your head, it evened out.

“I reckon he would start crying” Penelope giggled.

“God I hope so.” you huffed out, running your hands through your hair before a small smile made way onto your lips as you looked up at the blonde women. The last thing you expected was to get along so quickly with the girl. You had expected it to be awkward between the two of you, but it wasn’t. You two spent hours watching silly chick-flics and laughing, before this conversation even started.

“Thank you- by the way. For this” you mumbled, referring to her just being there. She didn’t have to. She didn’t know you, she didn’t owe you anything, she was Spencer’s friend, not yours.

Penelope grinned widely, “Don’t thank me. I love boy genius but he can be such a tool sometimes without even realising it. He fucked up and you need somebody, plus who else would make sugar cookies with me?” She teased.

You curled up by Penelope’s side, smiling at her gently. You really were grateful. “Speaking of sugar cookies, do you think we could frost them yet?”

[marioluigifan134]

The Voice of Skeeter/Henry about Nora/Starbitedreams/UmbreonDarkEdge

Hello, this is Nickolas of Miiblr writing for a brief moment here, I need to address what is really happening between us (more specifically, a user named @patti-mayonnaise A.K.A. Skeeter/Henry) and Nora/Starbitedreams, because I am getting really sick of watching people defend this person when they are not an innocent person at all. I will give this post to Skeeter's side now, here's his side of what is going on.

This is about Skeeter's relationship with Starbite.

Everything Skeeter/Henry writes will be in black text to avoid confusion (my text is in purple).

Also, there are some Trigger Warnings that I want to warn you all about, as this post contains sexually explicit and suggestive content and manipulation!

hey. im henry (starby's ex boyfriend, who came out about his actions to the mods.) fuck idk where to begin. maybe i should start with the harmless stuff because god i suck with my words starbys obsessive behavior always bothered me when i was with him. i felt like it'd be impossible for me to even speak to him because of how clingy he could get. this also came to play when i started to get f/os (i use self shipping as a coping mechanism which i guess.. pissed him off??)

ah! speaking of his bpd! he would blame it on literally everything. especially his hypersexuality. hell, he even thought making porn of IRL ME, WHOS 15 (he drew it when i was 14) WOULD BE OK??? STARBY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING THAT SHIT CAN GET YOU IN TROUBLE

before you say "oh henry!! why didn't you stop him??" well with the given ss, i didn't have a choice. considering i was his bf at the time, i thought it'd be best to keep my mouth shut and let him do what he wants, but i was very uncomfy. considering im asexual

starby, YOU. ARE. MY. BOYFRIEND. i should be having to ask you to comfort me, ffs!!

now here's the flat out racism. before september 8th hit and i was still 14, i was talking to starby about how my dad didn't give me a quince (for personal reasons, even tho its our tradition) and with one google search, heres what he had to say

"pedophile ass shit" STARBY THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS??? AT LEAST THATS NOT HOW MY FAMILY DOES IT??? you're not even mexican yourself so how do you know???? insensitive ass

anyways moving on, going back to my self ship discussion, he would get very butthurt about my obsessions and f/os (mostly doug, my comfort character and bravoman, my f/o (who is portrayed without his suit and his mii form) which i find very ironic considering he would not stfu about wanting to fuck an old man (taizo hori)

(context for the last two images) i was in a doug server with him (since he asked and i figured cuz hes OBSESSED) with me and idk i guess he got jealous that i wasnt in the same fandom as him so he found reasons for me to not like doug??? idk but the way he worded it was very rude and i was reached out by two mods and the server owner with how uncomfortable he made everyone felt. so eventually he got banned

..thats all i have to say. bottom line is that i hope he gets the help he needs.

henry out

Alright, Nickolas is back, and I want to mention that me and my friends also had our fair share of experiences with Nora. While it is not finished (as far as I know), I feel the need to share the doc explaining them here, because what it contains should tell you everything in our true experiences.

[advisorykitty]

Idk if I asked this already but can you do Randal x extremely nice/pushover! reader headcanons

Randal X Pushover Reader

Headcannons!!

You were Randal’s only friend, drawn to his strange but lonely vibe. You started dating because you were too nice to say no.

You agree to everything Randal wants, even his weird hobbies like collecting creepy dolls or exploring abandoned places and playing video games.

Randal will casually say things like “You’re mine forever,” but he says it with a weirdly sweet (yet unsettling) smile.

Unlike everyone else, Randal never tries to scare you. Instead, he just creepily watches you until you notice him. Something like "Oh hey! about time you notice me~"

If someone is rude to you, Randal will offer to make them “disappear,” though you always decline with a nervous laugh.

He gifts you a doll that looks eerily like you. You accept it even though it makes you uncomfortable.

Randal has no concept of personal space. He’ll randomly appear while you’re brushing your teeth or reading, just wanting your attention.

You can’t say no to Randal’s odd requests, like exploring creepy buildings or helping him name his dolls. Sometimes even straight up trespassing .

Randal constantly reminds others that “she’s mine,” in a way that makes people unsure if he’s joking.

Probably explains why no-one longer talks to you in class

Which is great for him since you have more time to spend together!

Sebastian thinks you’re too nice for your own good and encourages you to stand up for yourself, but you never do.

Luther offers you vague, slightly creepy advice like “You can always leave if he gets too much,” which leaves you unsure if you should laugh or worry.

And you find yourself contemplating what facial expressions to make when he says something (like is he trying to be funny or serious?)

Nyen teases you about putting up with Randal, while Nyon avoids being around when the two of you are together, clearly uncomfortable.

You’ll sit through hours of some wierd anime or eat Randal’s questionable cooking, just because you don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Onetime he tried making shitake soup probably saw it in an anime

He used poisonous mushrooms that he found, and you were sick for a week

If you’re stressed, Randal insists, “I’ll handle it, don’t worry,” though you’re never entirely sure what that means.

Another time while you were at school and unbeknownst to you had been getting bullied.

The next day the bullies magically didn't show up to class. Who could of thought 🙀🙀

MINI-INTERVIEWS!!

Nyen: "She’s soft, too soft. I don’t get why she sticks around Randal like that. He’s weird, but she’s worse for putting up with it. If it were me? I’d leave. No one’s worth that much patience. Maybe she likes being treated like one of his dolls. I don’t care. She’s just... there. Nothing special." Shrugs."Whatever." Nyen doesn't really care for you. As long as you stay out his way, he'll stay out of yours. However, he is interested in seeing what it takes to break your facade.

Luther:

"Sie ist... nett. Too nice. I’ve told her—several times—that she can leave Randal whenever she wants, but she stays. Warum? No idea." He shrugs slightly, voice monotone. "Maybe she likes suffering. Patience like hers is rare but fragil. We’ll see how long it lasts. But she’s... not terrible. Just... too kind." Luther enjoys your company. If he can even enjoy it, you're helpful and don't complain?? 5 stars already. He's still confused about how patient you, but humans like your are his favourite!

Randal:

"She’s mine, forever. No take-backs. I love how she never says no, like she’s meant for me. She’s kind of like a doll, you know? Only real, and much better. I won’t let her leave. She’s perfect the way she is, even if she doesn’t know it yet." Loves you alot, maybe to much. You spend majority of your time with him and he makes sure of that! Not like you can say no anyway.

Sebastian:

"She's uh.. okay?? I don't know how she has so much patients with Randal though... atleast it keeps thing off me for a while when she's around."

Similarly to Nyen, he doesn't care much for you, but he is thankful that you keep the heat of him when Randal is busy talking to you.

Nyon:

"She's..... nice.. too nice. Strange, too, not like Randal. Good. Strange.." He's not much of an extrovert, but he does see you as somewhat extraordinary. It's not often you meet someone who isn't cynical. However, he does sometimes feel bad for you when you have to endure Randal daily; you don't see him much, so you can't exactly regulate an opinion.

[okdeedee]

lay down your head

a very small din djarin x gn! reader sickfic . reader,,, works with mando? is hired by him? live-in employee. idk. the razor crest still exists. handwavey in terms of chronology.

__

an: because i have a shitty cold / fever / idk right now. so i daydream about how din djarin would take care of someone. me. us. whatever.

warnings: fluff. the mortifying ideal of being vulnerable with your colleagues/friends/crushes. no use of pronouns other than "you/your" and no y/n.

feat. trying to debunk the theory that being in the rain/being in somewhat cold weather will make you sick, one fic at a time. (hypothermia is real, catching a cold/the flu from being in the cold is not.)

wc: 1.3k words of 11pm feverish delirium.

__

It starts as a funny feeling behind your nose. As the day goes on, it spreads down to the back of your throat. Then there's the melancholy dawn of a dull headache and your joints start to hurt more than they usually do.

You're helping Mando carry a bounty back to the Crest at around three in the morning, Coruscant time, and suddenly it's ridiculously difficult.

The bounty is a fairly waiflike Twi'lek, so you're not sure why you're struggling. He could carry her on his own, sure, but you've watched him move enough that you can tell he's got back problems, so you try to help him carry heavy or awkwardly shaped things.

This Twi'lek in her hoop-skirted Opera-Concert-Goer finery definitely counts as the latter.

You watch him a lot.

The way he moves, how he interacts with his child, his prowess in combat. His proficiency with weapons gets you hot under the collar, sometimes.

But he's gruff and quite reserved, and you've taught yourself not to expect anything from this arrangement the two of you have. You haven't touched him before - not even to shake his hand.

When you trip over your own feet and the bounty goes lurching toward the floor, the Mandalorian pauses and glances at you with what you think might be annoyance.

But you can't see his face, obviously, and you sort of can't see full-stop in this dark alley, so it's anyone's guess.

By the time you get back to the Crest, your eyes burn with the effort of keeping them open. You don't want to be a liability, so you keep your head straight and you don't show any sign of weakness.

Once the bounty is frozen in carbonite, Mando climbs up the ladder, Grogu gurgling happily in his satchel. He doesn't seem to have noticed anything's really wrong with you, which is a relief. As soon as his boots disappear into the cockpit, you slump down to the floor.

Mando doesn't need a co-pilot - you're often down here during take-off anyway, tidying or putting your weapons away.

You value your alone time as much as he does, which is nice. He never pries when you need some time away from him and his little green kid.

You ache all over and you're shivering, but at least he can't see you. You're so tired that you fall asleep with your head resting against the weapon cupboard's door.

.

After he gets the Crest out of Coruscant's atmosphere and into hyperspace, Din lets Grogu play with a very small selection of the control panel that will not have drastic effects on the ship.

It takes a while, but the child's movements grow lethargic, and soon enough, he's asleep in Din's arms.

Din places him gently into his mobile cot so as to not wake him by taking him down the ladder, and realises he hasn't heard you move in over an hour.

Which is somewhat alarming - you take turns in the cot in the hull, and since Din can sleep in the pilot's chair, he figured you'd sleep there.

But he never heard the cot door depressurize and slam open, nor did he hear you pottering around like he usually does.

So he makes his way down the ladder, and he's bewildered by what he sees.

You're slumped on the ground, neck bent at an uncomfortable angle against the cupboard. You're breathing through your mouth a little raggedly, so fast you're almost panting, and there is a trickle of mucus coming out of your nose. Your hands twitch where they're draped across your torso, and your skin looks dull.

His heartrate skyrockets - he's a seasoned warrior and you're just his employee, so it probably shouldn't - and he moves over to you instantly.

Before he can think, he turns on the thermal view on his helmet, and sees that your head is hotter than the human head usually appears. So is your whole body.

He flicks it back to normal as he crouches next to you.

"Hey, wake up," he mutters.

He reaches out a hand to touch your shoulder, but he stops. He hasn't touched you before. Not intentionally. He wonders if you'd mind.

He thinks about it more and more each day.

Touching you.

Holding your hand, standing shoulder to shoulder, stroking your face.

Pressing your foreheads together in the way of his people, even if it's through his helmet.

But this is to make sure you're okay; it's different, so he reaches out and gently shakes you by one shoulder.

"Hey, you need to wake up," he murmurs.

You grunt, and your voice sounds like the rumble of footsteps over gravel.

"Can you open your eyes for me?"

Your eyelashes are a little crusted together, but you manage to open them. Your stare is vacant.

Din starts to panic.

"Did someone poison you? Did you eat something bad? Are you alright?"

You give him a sleepy chuckle, and your eyes close again, which is not helpful.

"Hey." He says with the sort of no-nonsense tone he uses with the child.

You blink. "What?"

"Did you get poisoned? Or spiked?"

"'M fine, Mando."

"You're not."

You huff, which sets you into a fit of coughing.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

You look at him with those bright, bloodshot eyes. You sniff and blink a few more times, blearily. It's silly, because he's really worried there's something wrong with you, but the open, sleepy expression on your face fills him with affection.

"Sweetheart, please."

You smile just barely. "Really, 'm fine. Just'a cold," you mumble.

"How would you have gotten a cold? The rain yesterday?" Din starts to spiral; he's supposed to protect you, whether he's ever expressed that to you or not, and now you're sick-

"Prob'ly that club a few days ago. Lots'a people. Confined space. No ventilation. Wonder why you didn't get sick."

"My helmet filters out most toxins and germs." He says.

You reach out and fiddle with the edge of one of the pouches strapped around his calf. "Lucky boy," you say, grinning dazedly.

You look incredibly unwell, but you're touching him, joking around with him. His heart pounds.

Then you groan and put your hand to your head, and he's whirled into action again.

.

The next half hour is hard to remember in full detail. You're so tired.

These are the glimpses you're conscious enough for:

Mando lifts you up, even with his bad back, and sits you up properly. He gets painkillers from the 'fresher, which you try to refuse, but he practically force-feeds them to you. He gives you his water canteen and tells you to take twenty sips of it.

He holds a cloth to your nose and tells you to blow your nose into his hand, which is mortifying, but you're too dazed to do otherwise.

He uses a cold, damp cloth to wipe your face and neck down, which makes your skin erupt in goosebumps.

"Too cold," you grumble.

"Almost done, baby."

The heat that rushes through you at the sound of his gruff, modulated voice calling you 'baby' almost cures your chills for a second.

"Can I hold you?" the Mandalorian asks softly.

If you were awake, you'd freak out about this ridiculously attractive and emotionally distant man making an offer like that, but being held just sounds nice right now, so you whisper, "Yeah."

Next thing you know, the battle-hardened, ruthless Mandalorian bounty hunter is sitting behind you, one arm around your torso, the other stroking your forehead.

You're in between his legs, your back against his chest.

This is not how you thought your recovery from illness would go.

You find you don't have any reason to complain.

His armour's a little cold, and it shocks you at first, but once your feverish body heat warms it up, it's soothing. He smells good - beskar doesn't have that tangy scent so many metals have; it's cleaner, earthier. He smells warm, inviting, human.

You like this Mandalorian. Quite a lot, as Mandalorians go. And just as a person in general.

He chuckles; a deep, comforting rumble that you feel in your back ribcage before you hear it.

"What're you laughin' at?" you mumble, burrowing the side of your head into his chest

Another shorter, breathy chuckle. "What you just said."

Oops. "Didn't mean t' say that. Out loud, I mean."

"I'll forget I heard it."

"No you won't. You remember everything."

The chin of his helmet rests gently against the crown of your head, and he takes a deep breath in.

"Sleep, cyare. I've got you."

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024.

Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? I closed the bathroom door. We used to close it because the sink faucet was leaky and the noise was obnoxious, but now I just do it out of habit.

Stripes or polka dots? Not a huge fan of either when it comes to clothing.

Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? Depends. Like if they come over and put their hand on my arm or shoulder while they're telling me something, that's fine, idc.

What is your gender? So ready to transcend this mortal flesh so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Do you think that people think its obvious? Hella.

How long did your first date last? You mean the relationship? A little over a year.

Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? Yeah.

Highlight of your day? Probably seeing Nan. She's great. She's a volunteer who does shitloads of laundry for the shelter.

Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? What kind of boat? What kind of plane? Where am I going?

Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? Probably.

Can you cook? Lol I usually say, "Well, I can follow a recipe - it's not that hard." But sometimes it is that hard - to trust and just do what it says. ;D

How high is your ceiling? Idk.

Whats the worst job you can think of? Got that Hoist the Colors North Sea oil rig song stuck the fvck in my head right now.

Do you swear a lot? Depends on the company and how zesty I'm feeling.

Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? No.

Is everything working in your house? No.

Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? Trampoline.

Does pop give you energy? Not enough to be noticeable. Same with coffee.

TV show you love with a passion? Let's go with podcasts instead since I don't really watch TV anymore. One of my favorites would be Brothers of the Serpent.

Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? Not sure what I would consider to be the worst night of my life, but probably a combination of "I can survive more than I think I can" and "self-destruction never makes a difficult situation better."

Perfect age to get married? I don't think there is a perfect age.

Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? Not even close.

Name a career path that women are known for taking. I don't know if this is a career path women are known for taking, but the animal shelter staff is comprised of mostly women. There are only two men working there atm.

Favorite type of cookie? Peanut butter, white chocolate macadamia nut, sugar cookies…etc.

A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? Aside from the usual qualities, the sense that I can just be myself around them. That they really do love me for me.

What would I find if I looked in your pocket? Nothing.

What was your first word? Aside from Mama and Dada, I think it was Duck.

A musical instrument you wouldn’t mind learning how to play? Harp, guitar, or violin.

Last time you went to 7-eleven? No idea. But I was at Loaf-N-Jug recently to fill up on gas.

A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? There isn't one.

Does everyone in your family have a job? My mom and dad are retired. Last I knew, my sibling wasn't working. I'm also not employed, but I do volunteer work.

Going anywhere this weekend? Animal shelter both days.

Is your room ever clean? Yeah.

What does it mean when you’re being quiet? Could mean almost anything. Tired, shy, sick, uncomfortable, don't have anything to say, simply chillin'.

Last person you had a face to face conversation with? My dad.

Where’s your phone? On my desk, charging.

Do you know the difference between your and you’re? Yeah.

How late did you stay up last night? I was in bed by around 7:00pm.

Anyone you’re ready to kill? No. Not even myself. :')

Do you need to get a tan? Curious about how I would look with a tan, but I don't actually want one.

What do you want? Gonna drop an annoying cliche here, but I would love to "find my tribe." I'm acquainted with a number of great people, but…ugh. Chronic outsider syndrome.

Favorite TV show as a kid? Franklin, Little Bear, DBZ, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Gullah Gullah Island, Hey Arnold, etc.

What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? There are plenty of shows I'm not interested in watching, but it's not like I'm specifically refusing.

How many times have you been in love? A few times.

Go camping or go to a party? Camping.

Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? I don't remember exactly, but probably sometime around middle school.

How many years older than you would you date someone? Might consider up to lower / mid 40s.

What was the last thing you pinky swore on? I have no idea.

Would you consider yourself a nice person? Could always do better, but I certainly try to be.

Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? Not really.

Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? No…?

Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? No.

True or false: Glee is annoying. I've never seen it before.

Last thing you cooked? Chicken.

Do you use slang often? Sometimes.

Wear glasses? When I'm driving.

About how old was the last person that hit on you? I haven't been hit on in ages.

What color are your headphones? Black.

Would you make a good teacher? Why? I doubt it. Even when it comes to subjects that interest me, I'm not very good at explaining them or building up a foundation from the beginning.

Don’t you hate those commercials that try too hard? I hate commercials in general.

Is the fan on? No.

Any special reason why you’re taking this survey? Took it for a couple of questions and now I'm regrettably committed.

What does the last text message you sent say? I sent a few random words to my dad to let him know I was on the way home from the shelter earlier.

Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? I have one friend and it's not possible for them to get pregnant. They also live in California, so even if it was for their partner or whoever, the answer would still be no.

Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? Don't use Facebook. I don't log out of my other social media accounts, though.

What color are your underwear? Blue, gray, and yellow. Lol, they've got dump trucks on them. ;D

How short are your nails? Pretty short, but I still need to clip them within the next couple of days.

Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? I would prefer a more "dominant" partner. Not to the point of being overbearing, but more of a protective / take the lead kind of way.

Favorite holiday? I just love the holiday season in general. It's not about the actual days themselves, but the feelings of excitement, nostalgia, and festivity surrounding them.

If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? Nope. Pointed to Wisconsin instead lmao.

You’re locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? Like two spiders or an absolute infestation of them? Depending on the circumstances, I might be more upset about being locked in a room.

Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? None of my clothing is expensive.

Do you eat a lot of food? It feels like it.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? No.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? Yeah.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? For the most part.

How many people do you text daily? I don't text anyone on a daily basis, but I text my dad most frequently and will occasionally post to the cattery group chat.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? No.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? No.

What did you do on your last birthday? I spent the morning at the animal shelter and then went out to lunch with my parents.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? Envy and sloth.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? No.

What is your least favorite subject in school? It used to be Math.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? No.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s faces? I don't.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? Earlier this morning. A video by Shawna Ripari.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? No.

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? No idea.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? Two.

Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” No…?

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? No.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? I've been to Wet Seal before, but I didn't purchase anything.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? Ooh, that's tough. Maybe Pocahontas, Beauty & the Beast, or Moana.

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? Maybe a little bit.

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? Definitely hardwood. So sick of dirty old carpet.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? Probably my dad.

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? Yeah. Camp Jackson and Camp Lazy Acres.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? Hmmm.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? No.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? I don't think I've been anywhere I felt was haunted.

Who was the last person to compliment you? Nan.

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? I think I was 13. I went to a Gold Kings hockey game with Michael and his mom.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? Somewhere in the middle, I suppose, with my dad being slightly more over-protective.

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? I don't think so.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? No.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? I haven't been to Taco Bell in forever, but maybe a black bean crunch wrap supreme and a side of nachos and cheese.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? No.

Have you ever felt like someone was following you? No.

Do you like short or long surveys the best? I prefer shorter ones. This one was a bit too long for my tastes.

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? No.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? I have no idea how my sibling acts the majority of the time, but due to some of the things they've said and done, I don't think of them as a very nice person.

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? Nooo. I love thunderstorms.

How often do you shower? Almost daily. Twice daily if I go to the shelter.

Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yeah.

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? Zero.

Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? Sure.

Do you ever watch any soap operas? Naw.

Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? Not everyone but Alex could be that way behind some people's backs. Made me wonder what she was saying when I wasn't around.

Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? Sometimes they start to drag. No matter how interesting the questions are, I start to get drained after a while.

What color is your significant other’s hair? No significant other.

Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? No.

Would you ever become a foster parent? No.

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? No.

When you get married, will you convert your last name? Probably.

Are your parents divorced, married or separated? They're separated, technically not fully / legally divorced.

Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? Yeah.

What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I don't knooowww. It's so hard to pick a single event because it's not always about the event itself, but how it piled upon or compounded other already existing hardships.

[afklancelot]

Ranking TMA entities by how much I like em, from least to most favorite

shall also be including statements involving said entity that I like the most. spoilers for tma as a whole.

15. The Web

I just don't really understand The Web's appeal at all. Maybe if it wasn't put in the spotlight and made as the big mastermind or something, I would place it above n. 14. But it was, and it was boring. And laughable. Mostly boring.

Favorite Web Statement: ep. 81 (A Guest for Mr. Spider). Fucked up children's book, eerie and right to my tastes. Also because the two fan portrayals of the book I've seen are real neat.

14. The Hunt

I can at least appreciate an animalistic fear, but in practice it's not much to write home about. Being chased is not too scary for me.

Favorite Hunt Statement: ep. 133 (The Dead Horse) I guess. An interesting take on the Hunt that isn't "oh no the Killer is hunting me down"

13. The Desolation

Ok so there's actually a HUGE gap between Web/Hunt and the rest of the entities in terms of how much I like em lmao. As for the Desolation, the themes of fire and pain are neat, though I feel there's something lacking compared to the rest on the list (No Agne Montague statement...)

Favorite Desolation Statement: ep. 107 (Third Degree). Specifically the format of the statement itself, like it's an interrogation. How the Desolation officer makes things more uncomfortable for the victim.

12. The Eye

Man The Eye was done so dirty... why did it have to be the "dumbest" entity... and I say this as someone who doesn't think much of The Eye. "It sees but does not understand" I don't think that's how the fear of being watched, of being judged or caught in the act, works. So I am an Eye supporter especially when it's put against the Web.

Favorite Eye Statement: ep. 148 (Extended Surveillance). Always fun to read about someone becoming a surveillance system. Very cute.

11. The Flesh

mmmmm meat

Favorite Flesh Statement: ep. 30 (The Killing Floor). Idk I just like the scene where the statement giver pulls off the last shot on that Flesh avatar. Something charged about that scene.

10. The End

Look if there had to be ANY entity that had to be the sole "sentient" one, I would've liked it to be The End. Their end (ha) plan actually works in a way I don't think is stupid (insert vine "We all die you either kill yourself or get killed)

Favorite End statement: ep. 168 (Roots). Really liked the making of the statement into some kind of twisted coroner report. Also the speculation by Oliver Banks regarding the potential fate of an Eye-pocalypse world makes me wish that was the actual ending for the podcast. Would have been actually interesting if so.

9. The Slaughter

Playing Splatoon 3 turf wars makes me realize that maybe I do understand the need for violence. I do think there's a lot of the missed potential of the Slaughter; maybe it could've incorporated more musical motifs (Orchestra Slaughter avatars when?)

Favorite Slaughter statement: ep. 42 (Grifter's Bones). Good music just does that to you.

8. The Stranger

In the context of "someone replaced someone you know and nobody but you notices", it's alright. Maybe could have expanded more into other things besides human figures being "not quite right".

Favorite Stranger statement: ep. 44 (Tightrope). The Stranger saw that kid do the tightrope without falling and was like "woah that's baller. we'll leave y'all alone actually that was sick as fuck" and for that I give them my respect.

7. The Buried

An entity that I had first dismissed, but now that I go back I realize that man. Dirt's pretty good. The allegory to debt also helps.

Favorite Buried statement: ep. 15 (Lost John's Cave). Makes me want to go explore a cave right fucking now.

6. The Dark

Another entity I feel has wasted potential, though I hear the creator admitted he didn't know how to implement the Dark without delving into cliches which if true, I guess fair enough? I'll just stick to House of Leaves I guess for a good Dark-adjacent portrayal :p

Favorite Dark Statement: ep. 63 (The End of the Tunnel). Damn shadows photobombing my photo shoot smh

5. The Extinction

Wish we coulda gotten more about the Extinction. I'm a bit disappointed that the Extinction being the true horror was a red herring, though I understand it and in hindsight am glad it didn't have to be that way. Just wish we could have gotten more Extinction statements involving technology.

Favorite Extinction Statement: ep. 144 (Decrypted). The world is allways ending, bitch. Let's get you some fruit.

4. The Corruption

Ladies, if your fear entity is about creepy crawlies and is actually cool, that entity isn't the Web. It's actually the Corruption. In all seriousness though, the Corruption is so gross and THAT makes it so good.

Favorite Corruption Statement: ep. 153 (Love Bombing). Corruption also being an allegory for toxic love including love bombing... love that shit.

3. The Lonely

The Lonely, the fear of being alone, deprived of other human contact. As someone who loves walking by herself, I can relate: sometimes you need some alone time. But unnatural loneliness is sooooooo good I swear.

Favorite Lonely Statement: ep. 150 (Cul-de-Sac). I would 100% buy a brick from that fake-ass infomercial.

2. The Vast

One day, walking by myself in a mostly-empty campus on the weekend, I looked up at the clear-blue sky. The sheer vastness of it, the beauty, made me smile. This is the impact of The Vast my beloved. Wish there were more Vast statements involving the ocean, though.

Favorite Vast Statement: ep. 106 (A Matter of Perspective). Space may not be nearly as interesting to me as the ocean is, but the bit about the stars not being winked out, but rather being covered by some massive monster, hits just right.

The Spiral

It says a lot about my love for the Spiral in that EVERY statement focusing on it is a banger. The one about a sleep-deprived woman, the one about a guy being haunted by weird doors as he grows up, the woman being trapped in that hallway appearing out of nowhere, the list goes on. But my favorite statement regarding the Spiral is...

Favorite Spiral statement: ep. 65 (Binary)!! I think about that man eating his computer every single day of my life. Puts an interesting perspective of trying to upload a human mind onto the web (esp in context of tmagp, even). The "creepy" quotes in the statement like "There's no feeling, but the no feeling hurts" are soooo good.

[butterscotch-brigade]

very weird question. how can you stand being a fan of cr even with the stuff regarding devsisters? i really like cookie run, but i can't get over the things they've done and i hate that it gets excused bc they're of different culture and their half assed apologies are always accepted. idk i haven't played in almost two years and i sometimes i want to go back into it but also it's hard.

sorry to bother but i am curious because i am tired of feeling bad.

oh no worries!! i totally understand, youre not being a bother at all

honestly i havent played cookie run in like 2 years. i too got pretty sick and tired of all the bullshit w devsis and p much gave up on crob and crk altogether. honestly i dont think anything they can add to the game will ever get me interested in playing it again.

that being said, i still rly like the characters!! a lot of them still mean a lot to me for personal reasons. at this point i only enjoy cookie run for the sentimental attachments i have to certain characters/ships (and by ships i just mean seamoon AKSJDJDJDJ). and i rly love the talent and creativity of the many wonderful fanartists out there!!! and even tho i may not know much abt the newer characters, especially in crk, i still think a lot of em are really neat!!

and honestly, youre not obligated to play the game in order to enjoy the things you do like abt it. if you really want to get back into it again, you can enjoy it from a distance if u want. or if it hurts too much, you dont have to get back into it at all; you can blacklist the tags if it makes you uncomfortable. youre free to engage with it at whatever pace you feel is best, or not at all.

ultimately, just know that there are many different options for enjoying media and curating your experience with it. you dont have to play the game at all if you dont want to; and if you do, you can choose not to do things like watch ads or make in-app purchases if you dont want to give any money/ad residue to devsis. (im not entirely sure if just playing on the server makes them money tho; someone correct me if im wrong).

whatever you decide, do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. sometimes you have to drop something you used to enjoy, and that sucks. other times, you may find that there are ways you can derive enjoyment from it without supporting its creators. its up to you to decide what you want to do; thats my perspective anyway. go at your own pace and figure out what works best for you. im rooting for u anon <3

[kingtycoon13]

none of this is going to be super coherent but i feel like i need to just vent about growing up as a queer autistic dude never fitting in anywhere and the issues of underlying homophobia in fandom spaces idk I just feel like.... whenever I get into fandoms or how i experience/enjoy content is so different from a lot of people that I can never truly be part of a fandom. That and the fact that most of them tend to be female/female aligned dominated which of course is great but its like.... no one ever really gets your experience and there's always misunderstandings recently with Gale stuff I see so much of it shift to the predominant female/female aligned fanbase to the point where it's all "Gale girlies" now and I now feel like my explicitly masculine and gay take on Gale isn't really appreciated, seen or understood. It's like that feeling of watching everyone else play and have fun together knowing you can never truly join in or just feeling ignored and hurt that no one recognizes you. Like...... life already fucking sucks being a gay dude. You can't be romantic because that's not "manly" and that stuff is usually reserved only in heterosexual shipping and context and then if you act sexual you make someone "uncomfortable" its' just like whatever I already deal with that from all other sources in my life treating me like a nasty unmanly sick pervert and i guess i could just continue doing my own thing because whatever you can do what you want and gatekeeping in fandoms is so fucking stupid but it's just that need to be Seen and Recognized and the turmoil i face constantly trying to make friends and then seeing it develop into something that I can no longer relate to. I just never know how much of myself is "ok" and how much more I can just keep trying to "be myself" and experiencing rejection like this i just really wish i could find "my people" its just stupid, i'm immensely stupid. i just want to be gay about Gale

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hello! I only recently found your blog and after much back and forth with myself decided to send this ask.

Trigger Warning for CSA and ED.

I suppose I'm looking for advice, a third party's thoughts? Also to get it off my chest.

I apologize in advance if this it too much for anyone reading, I know i still struggle to make heads or tails with it.

i had this epiphany a few years back, just before covid hit and as I had just moved into my own place for the first time. Ever since I was a little girl I've always had these unexplainable to my older self weird thoughts about sex.

During this epiphany I realized that my entire life, as long as I can remember-since approximately 5 to 6 years old - I have had rape fantasies. With myself as the victim. Very explicit, very violent just.. all around bad.

It had always troubled me but it had never been registered as something that needed more thought. It was more of a "Huh, you sure were quirky growing up!".

So during this epiphany it clicked to me: how could a child, from a good family, not suffocated, neither sheltered but raised by good folk, even KNOW not only what sex is, but also what rape is? Those thoughts dont come about naturally while watching Pokémon or Catdog.

So I started looking back. I really tried to make myself think.

I made myself picture little be getting abused. At first i suspected the men in my family. Uncle, grandad, even my dad.

It didn't click. Except when i thought about my grandad. At noons we used to sleep together. He'd read to me and it'd be our down time.

But it wasn't HIM who was triggering me ( God knows I'd die for that man i love him so much). It was his bedroom and his bed.

I realized suddenly that it wasn't a man that made me feel so.. uncomfortable? Like.. vomiting? Like.. these thoughts gave me this profound sense of doom and melancholy? I can't explain it.

But the person who came up was my cousin. She was only a few years older than me and she'd also live with our grandparents (their houses were in the same building).

I realized that when i was around 5 she would make me watch porn. The first time i ever watched it it was a traumatizing thing i realize. Not only did my body not know how to respond at this young age (it did get a reaction out of me which makes me feel fifty different types of sick) but I was shocked by the image of this man's penis. That night when i slept with my mum I couldn't sleep because i feared I'd see his thing in my dream and that my mum would know I'd done something bad! I'd blurt it out while dreaming! It was horrible.

A few days next mum took us shopping. While alone in the dressing room I had a sort of... Idk.. attack? Meltdown? She had given me to try on this faux leather skirt and I just got so enraged by it! I started angry crying and iirc hitting myself (?) Only now do i realise it was because the woman in the video was wearing a leather skirt.

My cousin also had this "massage wand" which for the life of me idk if it was a legit vibrator of my aunt or indeed a massage tool. But i remember her laying on her bed with her legs open (still dressed) and the thing between her legs. (When i told my bestie about this she tried to make me understand that she was indeed masturbating but God even writing this now it feels fake. It feels like an overreaction!)

My cousin would also make us play Husband and Wife. She'd be the husband first. She'd get on top of me and just stroke my arms, or act like she was kissing me. Sometimes she'd make me put a pillow on top of me and hug it like it was my husband.

But the worst was when she'd make ME be the husband. Id have to..idk how to describe it. I'd have to be active? I'd have to move my hips and talk and just be on top. We were clothed we weren't doing anything. But by God I just feel it in my bones This is why I have body dysmorphia. This is why my disordered eating started. This is why now I have trouble feeling feminine and just the thought of a single masculine characteristic on me sends me spiraling. I hate the idea of having anything masculine on me or being described as such! It makes me feel like back then.

Even now typing all this out.. I can't believe it. What if I'm misremembering? What if I'm the one creating false memories? What if I'm doing it for attention? Whose attention you'll ask since only now did i find the courage to tell SOLELY my best friend. Well, I'll say... I don't know.

I cannot connect the image of my childhood, happy as it was, because it was! I was loved and still am by my parents. My entire extended family are learned, progressive, loving people. I always felt like i got the lottery with my folks. I cannot make this make sense while adding my realizations into the mix.

I like my cousin! I even love her! We are close (considering we have our own thing happening in life). She is my family, my blood! She feels the same.

I dont know what to feel.

And I've also heard that children who are perpetrators of CSA (not only when they're so young do they Not mean any harm bc they're kids too) but also they had to learn all that from somewhere, from someone!

So.. did she also suffer? Do I need to start having suspicions about others hurting her?

Does she need help? Does she even remember?

I cannot tell anyone. It would ruin our family and my parents would be devastated. My mum she.... She'd legit lose her mind to learn that someone had hurt me this way!

Do you guys have any thoughts? Am i crazy? Am i making it up? Am i creating the memories? God knows it affects me in all aspects of life so.. there has to be Something there, right?!

Feel free to post this as a post for your followers to answer too. Im okay with it.

Just typing it out was cathartic.

I'm sorry to anyone burdened with reading something so light-hearted. And thank you for taking the time to read and answer.

I hope whoever it is on the other side reading has a good day. And Thank You.

-Bess

p.s.

Because I get very illogically anxious very often, if by any chance my eyes are deceiving me, or tumblr crashes or whatever and by accident this post doesn't get submitted Anonymously (as I intend it to) could you please refrain from posting it? I would really thank you for that!

Okay bye now! And Thank You again for the help 💙

Hi Bess,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Please know that you're not alone.

It's incredibly difficult to navigate some potential early childhood trauma. It sounds like you probably aren't making this up because you seem to be able to identify what doesn't click or make sense. Often, trauma tends to have strong emotional or visceral responses, like you described, nausea and discomfort. These feelings suggest that the memories could be authentic.

it's hard to accept that you've been through trauma because of its implications, and that's understandable, but it's also important for your healing to work through the process of grief at your own pace. Also please know that just because you may have otherwise had a good childhood with a strong support network around you, doesn't mean that you couldn't have been traumatized or that your trauma isn't valid.

You are right that COCSA perpetrators tend to be CSA survivors themselves, because their behavior is, in some way, learned from elsewhere. But please remember that this does not excuse perpetuating that abusive behavior. Regardless of what may have happened to your perpetrator, it doesn't change the fact that they hurt you.

It's your story so it's up to you who to tell or not tell, but just know that other peoples emotions are not your responsibility, so if someone is devastated to hear what happened, that is not your fault. Additionally, it's worth considering that you are not to blame for telling your truth, rather your cousin is to blame for their actions that you are merely conveying.

Ultimately, it's important to make sure that you can get any help you need during this time, in terms of exploring trauma and maintaining your mental health. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you process your traumas, the feelings and questions surrounding them, and develop ways to cope and move forward with these memories.

Please remember that you are not crazy, and know that we believe you. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[vole-mon-amour]

.

[pinkslashersimp]

Hannibal x reader req

What if you got into a fight with Hannibal like an argument over idk what and you brought up his dead sister?

MY FIRST ANGST REQ i’m gonna have fun w this one bye

u didn’t specify which so as usual i’ve included both for u💗💗

TW: Graphic depiction of murder, angst, Hannibal being kind of a dick. if this upsets or triggers you in anyway please scroll past and stay safe🤍

Hannibal x GN!Reader - Arguments 🌷💗

OG Hannibal

Arguably the scarier Hannibal, with much less patience.

It had been a painfully long day, and after arriving home from work an argument ensued with Hannibal over how much time you’d been focusing away from your personal life

“I’m worried, darling, it’s almost as if your boss is trying to steal you away from me” he teased, his back turned to you as he sliced and diced onions into tiny pieces for your dinner tonight

“God, Hannibal can you please just leave it? Youre acting like every man is going to take me from you or some stupid shit. I’m not your fucking sister.”

The fact you could spit something so hurtful towards him is both upsetting and amusing to this man

Theres something almost comedic about you, a tiny kitten, scratching at the big scary lion

Theres something almost comedic about you, a tiny kitten, scratching at the big scary lion

It’s dangerous.

He slowly reared around to face you, knife still in his hand, glistening from the food he was just preparing.

He turns his head slightly at you, staring straight into your eyes and refusing to break the uncomfortable eye contact. His mouth twists itself into something of an amused smile 

He searches your expression, figuring out what reaction you were looking for from him

“Come here.” He orders, something sinister behind his calm facade and chilling hiding behind his chill tone

You take a small step back, laughing uncertaintly. This must be some sort of game, right? 

Hannibal usually plays mind games with you, sometimes acting scary to playfully frighten you. 

Except he usually breaks the character once you become visibly nervous. This time, he wasnt. 

“Im serious, love. Come here and repeat what you’ve just said.” He takes a step forwards, his hands behind his back and he leans in. “I want to hear you say it.” He hisses through his teeth

“Im sorry...”

NBC Hannibal

It wasn’t a bad argument, you were just sick of Hannibals controlling presence around you all the time, making you jump every time he came near you. 

“Stop this silliness.” He ordered, creeping towards you.

“Or what? You’ll kill me? Eat me just like your sister?”

Shock.

That’s his first initial reaction.

He told you about that with complete trust, he let himself be vulnerable enough to open up to you because he loves and cares about you, and you’re using it against him?

Then, anger.

How dare you?

He feels it boiling inside him, quickly ascending from his feet, pooling and turning inside his stomach like a sick, hot, bile. Before continuing upwards towards his head, causing an agonising pounding and ache. For a moment he truly doesn’t know how he should respond to your comment. 

In any normal situation (or what’s considered normal to him) , he would’ve leapt upon you and stolen the breath from your throat by clasping both his huge hands around your tiny, fragile neck and squeezing hard with all his vicious, angry strength. Painfully crushing your oesophagus as he smothers you to death.  Leaving you lifeless and limp beneath him as a product of his blind rage. 

Then, of course, dismembered your corpse and eaten you whole.

He ponders that thought for a moment, whilst staring completely dead pan into your eyes

There’s more than just a hint of anger reflected in his expression, watching him hopelessly attempt to cover it with his poker face is both amusing to you and horrifying to observe. You’ve seen what this man is capable of, and been an unfortunate witness to the multiple atrocities and death he’s caused. To think that you could become one of them in a matter of seconds is terrifying.

You’d wanted a reaction, but not one this frightening.

Your fear is evident, written all over your face and body as your eyes widen and you tense up, leaning away from your lover, too scared to take a step back in case he takes one forward. 

In a matter of a few, long, agonisingly drawn out seconds, Hannibal finally made his move.

He spun on his heel, and silently left the room. Walking away to another part of the house, anywhere, so long as it was away from you. 

It wasn’t an issue of disgust towards you, it was a lack of self control. The thought of killing, whilst exhilarating to him, felt wrong when it was you. 

But still, you’d crossed a very dangerous line, and the anger mixed with the harsh, bitter feelings of betrayal would cause him to act rather...vulgarly. 

He doesn’t sleep in the same bed as you that night, he uses one of the guest bedrooms. Still to resentful to speak to you to kick you out of his bedroom. 

There are no dinner conversations. He’ll sit and eat with you, but refuses to speak to or look at you. 

He’d explain that you need to apologise, but each time he thinks about confronting you his feelings gather in his stomach again, twisting his abdomen making him feel sick and furious over and over

It takes you less than a week to approach him whilst he’s busy in the library, reading over some patients files and pretending he doesn’t see you as you nervously block the doorway

“Hann...” You croak. He glances upwards.

“I’m really sorry...”

[because-of-a-friend]

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol. 

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you. 

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.  

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

[sydneekomspacekru]

heyyy I love ur writing sm !! But i was wondering if you could make a Steve x Reader based on the reader having some sort of eating disorder (I’m really in a shitty mood rn since I’m trying my best to recover from my ED and idk if this could be a way to cope but yeah.) if it’s okay with you !! Stay safe and ily 💖

Inspiration: This request right here😊

Summary: Steve finds out that you're recovering from an eating disorder and tries to help as much as he can.

Warnings: Mention of an eating disorder, mild language, food, fluffy bf!Steve, modern!au, none of the monster shit

Requested: Yes.

A/n: Other than the help I got from @chishiyas-backstory, I don’t really know much about eating disorders. I'm sorry if I misrepresent anything, please let me know how to fix it. Kind of a blurb, I'm sorry if this is a little short or vague. Also, please critique this, anything you have.

Steve Harrington was clueless. He knew that you were struggling with an eating disorder, and he wanted to help. But how? was the question.

Let's start over: Steve Harrington is your boyfriend, whom you are deeply in love with, and him with you.

You've been struggling with an eating disorder for a little over a year, and you were trying to get over it. Being the person he is, Steve wanted to help. He just didn't know how.

You weren't completely sure either, you just knew you wanted his support. So support he gave. He gave all the support, your own personal cheerleader. His intentions were great, but on your bad days, he could be a little overbearing.

This wasn't too bad of a day. Today you're doing pretty good. Eating "normal" as some would call it. You were sitting on your couch, in your apartment, leaning halfway on Steve.

But Steve suggested going out for dinner earlier, and you've been contemplating it for an hour. You liked going out, but it was the prospect of going out and eating in front of people. It was like they were watching you, you felt like you were eating too much, or too little. Either way, it was a struggle because you had yet to figure out what your "normal" eating habits were.

But, you were feeling alright with it at the time. "Let's go out to eat, then." You finally decided, during a commercial.

"You don't have to if you aren't comfortable." He was looking at you now.

"I know, but I think I'll be fine."

--

You didn't exactly know what to call the restaurant. It was... odd. It served all kinds of different food, ranging from Mexican to Italian to some kind of Korean Barbecue. But that wasn't it, something was just off about the place. It smelled of something strangely like weed, with strange psychedelic decor hanging from the ceiling, but what looked like a Greek sculpture in the entryway.

You ordered spaghetti, it seemed like a safe choice in the odd restaurant.

When the food came, you tried to pick at it. But like you had predicted, it felt like all eyes were on you. A one woman show starring a barely-adult woman at a weird ass restaurant.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked in quiet voice, apparently he had noticed you weren't eating very much.

"Yeah," you leaned closer to the table, "just a bit uncomfortable. It's fine."

"Okay. How about let's just get this to go and we can rent a movie or something. This place gives me the creeps." You snorted.

And like that, you were outta there, to-go boxes in hand. On the way home you had rented a horror-flick which you weren't even sure the name of. It was just going to play in the background while you and Steve played Monopoly or some shit.

You were finally home. "Home, our sweet, sweet abode!" Steve yelled as he walked in, swinging the door open. You chuckled at him, shutting the door after you came in.

--

You slid the disc into the slot, and clicked it on.

Thirty minutes in and you still had barely touched your food. You were hungry, but you felt sick when you thought of eating. You sighed as your stomach grumbled, and Steve looked over at you.

"Hey, look, I don't know if this will help, but I can eat with you. That's a thing right?" He talked to you in a hesitant voice, he was trying to help in the best way he could, but he didn't want to upset you.

"Yeah, we can try I guess." He re-opened your container, and grabbed two forks. He took a bite, and you put a small one in your mouth. It was weird sometimes, eating. It was all slimy in your mouth, and sometimes you tried to swallow, but it wouldn't work. It would get stuck right before your throat.

But this time was okay. The spaghetti wasn't the best, but you weren't feeling sick anymore, thankfully. You sighed in relief. "Thank you, Steve." He scooted closer to you, and kissed your cheek.

"Of course, babe."

[mythiccheroacademia]

Ok so I was wondering if you can do a headcanon for Tokoyami, Tenya, Bakugo and if anything a character of your choice and how they would react to Minetta being a perv and saying...weird fetishizing shit abt they Black S/O? I had this in mind for a while lmao 😓🤛🏾

A/N: The fetishizing shit towards black people has got to go. It’s not a compliment, it’s gross. It’s 2020 and I’m over it. I say we start eradicating people who thinks it’s cute :) I’m sure the boys would have the same idea <3

Warning: cussing, some uncomfortable/grody comments that teeter on sexual assault so please be careful!

Tokoyami Fumikage: 

so it’s just a regular degular day at school and you’re going about your way through the halls 

you weren’t even doing anything extraordinary, just getting some books out of your locker before class

then mineta pops up, leaning against the locker, and looking you up and down with a weird smirk on his face

“hey hot stuff” he says with a wink. “what’s got you looking so voluptious on a tuesday morning?”

you’re already aware of what type of bs mineta is on, but you didnt wanna be mean so you just tried to excuse yourself from the conversation, but he doesnt give you the chance to exit 

he keeps swining around these weird compliments

“i couldn’t help but notice you across the hallway, my chocolate king/queen”

atp, you’re feeling really uncomfortable and you want out, but you have no idea how to go about it without coming off rude 

so you kinda just stand there with a sick feeling in your stomach as mineta tries to put moves on you 

but that all stops when the hallways turns dark and everyone in the room feels the hair on their arms stand

floating over your head like a demon from the seven pits of hell is dark shadow who looks two seconds away from going ballistic

out from behind you, tokoyami stands there with a glare that says:

you better come correct or you finna come up missing

you don’t notice it, but mineta sure as hell does

you’re taken aback when the grape dude just about scurries off for his life but you instantly forget about it when you notice tokoyami behind you and dark shadow nuzzles against your head

he smiles and greets you as you tell him how happy you are to see him, totally forgetting about the mineta situation

y’all go about your regular day undisturbed 

meanwhile, everyone is fucking scared shitless bc they were two seconds away from witnessing a murder scene 

tokoyami don’t play when it comes to you 

Iida Tenya: 

everyone thinks iida is a goody-two-shoes guy who solves his problems through logic and reasoning

and i mean...he does

but this man can get down right scary when someone he loves is threatened

this nigga was out here contemplating murder at 15 bruh

anyways 

there was a moment in time you were going through a growth spurt and your uniform was a bit to short/tight on you 

it wasn’t anything inappropriate but you had to order a new set of uniforms and they wouldnt come in until next week 

you weren’t pressed over it until mineta had the bright idea to start whispering some weird shit to you during class

“hey sweet stuff. i bet you’d look even better in my clothes”

you shoot him a glare. “shut it, dirt bag” you mutter under your breath

“why the hate? i’m just tryna get a bite of you. bet you taste like a hershey’s bar” he flirts, wiggling his eyebrows

you just roll your eyes and focus on taking notes

mineta tries to say something one more time before the class freezes as iida snaps a pen in half 

aizawa looks at him w a raised brow “is everything okay iida?”

“tenya?” you question

he shakes his head and apologizes for interrupting class before retrieving a new writing utensil

class ends and most of your classmates file out leaving you, you bf, and mineta

mineta tries to say something slick one more time

“so if you ever wanna fulfil any sexual fantasies about being conquered then you can hit me u--”

just as you were about cuss the pervet out of the country, iida gets ups, stares down at mineta with a glare that could kill 

the engines on his calves start to warningly rumble and theirs a dark look on iida’s face you havent seen before 

“i suggest you leave in the next five seconds, otherwise i’ll have to put you through a crash course on how to have manners when addressing my s/o”

it’s a chilling threat and mineta is out of there before he even finishes his sentence 

once he’s gone, the mood sort of lightens up. iida’s still a little pissed, but he’s quelled once you give him a soft kiss on his cheek

Bakugo Katsuki: 

idk what the hell mineta was on 

but RIP him bc bakugo’s s/o is not the one to be messed with 

and he learned that the hard way 

you were doing some extra training to practice a difficult move 

you thought you were alone until mineta showed up on the side looking like a walmart brand pimp c (rip) 

without even a hello, lil dude comes in with some mess 

“wow, so you’re out here sweating but you still look delicious. black don’t crack, huh”

you pause 

...bitch wtf?

you instantly shut that shit down

“step away from me before i mop the floor with your ass, you purple ballsack” you warn

he deadass thinks youre trying to flirt back 

“woah, calm down. no need to get all fiesty lil mama~”

“mineta, i will step on you if you don’t go somwhere ong”

he thinks you’re playing hard to get, so he plays along. he leaves with his chest puffed out like he did something and heads back to the lockers

you let out a sigh and try to forget that little encounter

but little did you know that your bf was up in the stands, watching you train

he meant to leave a small bento for you, but he got caught up (aka he missed you and just wanted to stare at you for a min)

and now he’s glad he stayed bc he’s got a bone to pick 

mineta opens his gym locker before it’s slammed shut by a hard fist

bakugo looks like the literal devil as he takes mineta’s shirt in his fist and leans in with a threatening growl

“listen here you rotten little bastard. that little stunt you pulled out there, disrepectful. you ever speak to my--actually, if you ever even think about my y/n, i’ll blow you up so fucking bad they’ll be washing you off the walls for weeks. got it?”

he doesnt even let him answer before he drops him on the floor and walks off 

you happen to meet him as he’s walking out and throw your arms around him totally oblivous to the fact that he’s semi-steaming from what just occured

you give him a kiss for the food he made you and it makes him smirk just in the slightest

he’s always there to watch over you, even if you don’t see it

“can’t have you fucking up during training, so make sure you eat properly okay?”