#ID LOVE TO WASTE YOUR TIME
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binge read all of castle swimmer in 2 days send help
*draws a single piece of kelp to indicate a background*
#castle swimmer#listening to waste your time by subradio on repeat while drawing this#ID LOVE TO WASTE YOUR TIME#shhh they're in the kelp forest bc that scene w the kelp dragon fukn destroyed me#help i dont know anyone who's read this im going insane#listen. listen okay. kappa is like desperate to save siren and destory the curse.#and like. siren's over here slowly becoming more resigned to the idea of the prophecy being fulfilled.#but he's glad to spend any second w kappa#GODDDD#help babes another red blue pairing got me by the throat#pina art
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sorry no art in a hot second... ive been really burnt out for a long time now and its been miserable, ive been looking for a normie job for ages so that i can make art something i do for myself again and i havent had much luck but.
i have good news now.
#YIPPEEEEEE#cant wait to see how this effects my relationship with my art#freelancing is hard. im excited to be creative for myself again#prince talks#ideally id want to work in the cartoon industry but its looking rough right now and im already having a hard enough time#but its never too late to try to achieve your dreams#so im just putting it on the backburner for now#have to take care of myself instead of being so worried about 'wasting my life' or whatever because its just making me miserable#LIFE HAS VALUE NO MATTER WHAT DAMMIT#oh btw i will still be taking comms i just wont be making it like.#my only source of income#bc that SUCKED.#i love doing comms. dont love how unstable it is
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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forever winter as a kunikidazai song send POST
#I CALLL JUST CHECKING UP ON HIM HES UP 5AM WASTED LONG GONE NOT EVEN LISTENING MY VOICE COMES OUT SCREAMING#ALL THIS TIME I DIDNT KNOWWW YOU WERE BREAKING DOWN#ID FALL TO PIECES ON THE FLOORRR IF YOU WERENT AROUND#and also#IF I WAS STANDING THERE IN YOUR APARTMENT ID TAKE THAT BOMB IN YOUR HEAD AND DISARM IT#ID SAY I LOVE YOU EVEN AT YOUR DARKEST AND PLEASE DONT GOOOOO#sorry. thank you#bsd#kunikidazai
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Feeling very Ascension by Gorillaz ft Vince Staples at 2:18
#i need to solve a puzzle or some shit. god. fuck.#i cant concentrate on anything i cant fall asleep i cant stay asleep i cant stay awake i cant wake up on time#i hate depression 😒 and all the other things wrong with me yknow#i need to do something like. good for me. but its so damn hard to drag myself into doing that too#brain. stop being so foggy. please.#im even like. im eating im drinking water. i could probably like do some sort of exercise but everything makes me so tired.....#like even a walk yknow? i do my shift at work and im at 3% battery. i dont. i dont know what to do man#and i dont even wanna die about it???? im actively NOT suicidal for once#like are you kidding me??? ive been suicidal for like over a decade and for once#my brain is still popping up like have you considered killing yourself? 🤔 but im Genuinely not swayed by it at all#which is weird. and probably good. but now i just feel like. numb#stuck. stagnant. foggy. can we PLEASE cut through this fog and have some meaningful brain functions for a little bit. brain. cmon#i dont wanna die but i *do* wanna sleep for like. three days#i want a week off where i have NOTHIN to do#genuinely nothing to do. chores are done work is on pause i need nothing creeping in at the edges thinkin bout#ohhhhh you should be doing this instead..........youre wasting your time........do a task.....#but i cant i cant do a task. i cant. and its so frustrating and i feel bad about it#id feel much worse about it if my BRAIN wasnt as foggy as fucking SAN FRANCISCO#and i keep trying like. healthy ways of ''feeling something'' like hobbies i like or yummy food#nothin. does fuckin nothin. i get off and it gives me a Little bit of clarity Maybe. like#no wonder bad coping mechanisms happen yknow??? its an absolute fucking miracle i havent taken up smoking#anyway. i need to go to bed. tomorrows gonna be a long day. if you feel so inclined send me mental love or something. im fuckin tired folks.
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I started playing pokemon diamond! i've been meaning to play it for ages so im super excited to jump in and finally play a 2D pokemon game, though i dont know if i trust either of my rivals yet.... I've only ever played pokemon games where you get exp share pretty much at the start so remembering to individually level up my whole teams gonna be a bit of a learning curve but im always up for new challenges
Naming my starters has always been important to me, it took me a while to come up with her's but i ended up picking Mori, after the japanese word for forest and a city in hokkaido, the island that's the partial inspiration for sinnoh :)
#i looked it up and apparently you can get exp share after registering 40 species of pokemon but that's still wild to me#like i don't just get it at the beginning??? how am i supposed to evolve all my Guys?????#i don't know why i'm so weary about my rivals especially lucas but there's something about them that's screaming villain arc to me#i don't want any spoilers nobody spoil anything#also why do they show the gym leaders on your profile even before you fight them??? the surprise of what they look like has always been#rly fun to me. i only glanced at it bc i didn't want to be spoiled but even then i feel like ive Seen Too Much#i caught an abra too it's just not on my team and oh my god that took like a half hour#why do they only know teleportttttt i wasted so many pokeballs#circling back to the rivals i think what's throwing me off abt barry is that he chose the starter with the type advantage#idk if that was normal in the older games but in all the ones i've played your rival picks the weaker one. it's just sus idk#anywho it's 1 in the morning i'm gonna go to sleep but woowee i'll having fun#OH RIGHT I LOVE THE WAY YOU GET YOUR STARTER IN THIS GAME#like 'whoopsies i found you in a random guys briefcase! we're bonded for life now.'#i've already characterized Mori to she 100% is a spoiled little princess who#learned how to do big sopping wet sad puppy eyes to get what she wants#and id fall for it every time she'll still be my itty bitty baby even after she evolves#sassy speaks#pkmn#pkmn diamond
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you're making me wish you'd stop talking to me bc i don't think you have anything to say to me about anything except my academics. i can't even breath in your presence without you going on about how i should be learning
#do you not realise doing this is not helping?? like at all???#it's only making me want to go against you and do everything wrong on purpose#ik you want the best for me ik you love the most but please please try to understand that this is only stressing me out more#i can't remember the last time we had a conversation that wasn't related to how im studying#and please also understand that i cannot always follow your study methods i can do only what suits me the best#just bc a lot of achievers are following smth doesn't mean i should be#and i beg you talk to me about literally anything else#this is only making us grow apart#and i can feel it and it just hurts#also you kept telling me to talk to people more and make friends but now that i actually have friends you want me to#cut them off bc i've been talking about them a lot and wasting time?#also is the first thing that comes to ur mind when i say i have a lot of hairfall is that u need to get me married???#you weren't like this before what changed#it devastates me how much you've changed over the course of two months#you're not only stressing me out but you're exhausting yourself out too please you're growing old take care lf urself#not everything has to be about me#it only makes me worry and make me feel guilty that im not doing my best for u#the only thing id want is for you to think about YOURSELF for once#i love u so so much so please don't do this to both of us please please prioritise yourself#we can work this out together i swear just listen to me once hear me out
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the parents on tiktok who live in the tiny homes/RV living or whatever should die. i just saw one video where this mom of two kids is showing off her tiny house and she makes her teenage children share a room in the loft and it doesnt even have a door, the loft is completely open for anyone to walk in and see??? seriously i cannot imagine being a teenager and having to share a cramped space with my siblings AND not having any privacy at all bc theres no door or walls. all the while the parents in that video had a full, closed-in master bedroom with doors AND a closed-in home office that also had a door. like why do the parents get two doors and the kids get no doors??? why do parents get privacy but the children dont lmao i hate the tiny living trend i really really do
#seriously if you can afford to waste all your money building a family home thats only big enough to realistically support one person#you can at least give your child a DOOR??? like DUDE?#or god forbid turn your at-home office into idk A SECOND BEDROOM SO YOUR KIDS DONT HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM??#the room that DOESNT HAVE A DOOR might i remind you#idc about tiny living if you dont have kids. actually id probably love living in the house that lady showed off#but i also dont have teenage children who need privacy and space???????? so lol#also when you legitimately cant afford to give your kids their own rooms i get that too#i had to share rooms with my brothers for a while bc of different factors#i did eventually have my own bedroom but there were times where it wasnt like that#BUT having the money to build ur own house and PURPOSEFULLY making it too small for your family to thrive n have privacy?? EVIL
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How would one find work at a library when they just...aren't qualified or don't have the relevant experience? I'd love to work at one but I don't have a relevant degree or experience in the field (mostly because they keep rejecting my applications and then ghosting me). I know if given the opportunity I could learn how to do the various jobs at a library, I just have trouble getting into the field without a degree.
people ask me this quite a bit and I really don't know what to say because I don't have an MLIS and neither do most of my coworkers. only like 1/10th of our employees have it honestly. I only have an associates degree in mathematics. and honestly, I'm really sorry to say, the only other way to get your foot in the door really is to volunteer. I volunteered at the library that I now work for A LOT as a teenager so I was able to use the librarians I got to know as references when I started applying to library jobs, and I was able to speak to my experiences working within the library
basically the only other thing is starting at the absolute bottom of the totem poll, which I also did even with my volunteer experience. this is usually going to be a library page position. pages are generally the lowest paid, most manual labor job because they reshelve returned books. so it's a lot of lifting and pushing tens or hundreds of pounds of books around all day
unfortunately there's nothing else I can really tell you, there's not really a magic key to working here. volunteering and having a clean record (like, don't apply if you have a bunch of fines on your account) are really the only ways to get ahead at all. even having an MLIS isn't gonna help you much these days without having any experience like that
#also this isnt to be mean to people who have it but library degrees are like waaaay overhyped and largely exist as a class barrier#because in order to get one you have to waste at least 4 years getting a completely irrelevant degree then be able to afford 2 more yrs#i kinda wouldnt recommend getting one til youve worked in an actual library for a while first to give some perspective#and id only do it if you have a specific library position in mind#please do not waste your time and money getting a degree just because you want to work in a library#you need to know what exactly you want to aim for because positions are few and far between#also one last little secret: working at a library reallllllly fucking sucks in A LOT of ways#i love what we do and i love my coworkers but i fucking hate my job lmao#MANY libraries across the country (including mine) are controlled by boards made up of local wealthy business people#and all of the higher ups are extraordinarily out of touch#pay is exceedingly low and it is A LOT of very hard work. its not sitting around reading all day#you have to deal with the public in ways that i promise you no amount of retail experience could ever prepare you for#which is why you have to really really want it. so many people quit within a couple years
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switch to history major yes/no
#cons: spent money on bio stuff already so thats a waste -_- uhm sunk cost fallacy. uhm idk ill teach hs history or work in#an office i just cannot do stem im sorry i was made to write non-research essays and present stuff. sigh#evil stem students etc like. whatever im stressed its week four. i should kms#just like. i love bio but only the bio classws not like physics and chem and calc etc. i have to take ochem in a year or so. idk what#dipoles are or how to read a lewis chart#so like im passionate abt the subject but only the surface level stuff yknow now mechanisms beyond that. genetics was hell evil course#and i dont want an environmental science degree cause then youre locked into mostly consulting or gis stuff which#no way. augh let me teach hs historyand then get a phd in some hyper specifically field and then get some tenor job in fourty years idk#like i do think history is an easy subject literature too. to me like the same way i never needed to study ecology cause#you dont actually learn anything yiu just know facts and concepts not like equations. like fake learning.#augh whateverrr i will simply rot i dont think id be able to finish this degree between working and taking more than 12 hours a semester#like. its a lot -_- i feel bad complanjng cause my dad graduated taking twenty hours and working over full time 😭 but also#it was like thr 90s so not much else to do if#ig*.#el oh el whateverrrr ill figure it iut mwah. for rn i gotta finish my chem hw then shower
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oh my fucking god. anons. why would you even care about doxxing ugi and other people who just trace art. who the fuck even cares about this information???? i certainly dont!! like yeah tracing art and calling it ypur work is bad, but it will never deserve doxxing!! i dont fucking care if the allegations are true or not, its not my problem!! tracing art SHOULD NOT ruin one's entire life.
and also. im not online for like. 12+ hours and i come to this. what the fuck??
like other people have said:
BLOCK THEM AND MOVE ON.
#i have TWO. TWO ANONS. IN THE INBOX. IT IS LITERALLY A COPY PASTE OF EACH OTHER#DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO?????#WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME TRYING TO RUIN SOMEONES LIVES WHEN YOU CAN JUST FUCKING IGNORE THEM.#WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ANONS.#phew. got that out of the way#im upset can you tell#twst#i come back to this and i feel so.#so depressesd#i had such a good day today- great morning; i was able to draw and doodle freely and i have some doodles that id love to post right now#but i feel so upset with this. its like. why? why even do that to a person. what the hell.#i dont even care who ugi is or whoever those people are#what upsets me is that people will go out of their way to make someones life miserable#and that just. destroys all my faith in humanity#god fucking dammit. i need a break#nova.txt
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i hope twt explodes so that companies are forced to put their lore and information on their websites actually, instead of burying it on that broken website
#im talking about vocal synth companies and stuff btw#in case you do not know#like what do you mean i have to use twt to find things out about your characters#just put it on the fucking website omg#i dont want to waste my precious time scrolling through taht shit just in case some company decided to make a new acc rping as their latest#anime girl#and decided to put vital information on there#like full on fucking character birthdays pelas#and also could they credit everyone for everything on their websites too#especially artists#for way too many of them the only proof of them having drawn the arts is “vocadb” says so#and i have no shit with vocadb#but id love love love some links to things and stuff#instead of having to go through 10 years of twt retweets to find the tweet in which an artist mentions they drew smthing#also also#twt bad because it goes away so much#please please please archive things im in tears#so many times i look at “sources” and “citations” and shit and its just a dead twt link#i think “oh the person probably archived it on archive dot org incase something like this happened right”#but no#“everything you post online stays there forever” I FUCKING WISH#WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD TO FIND#I BLAME TWT FOR THIS#COMPANIES PLEASE USE WEBSITE PLEASE#IM BEGGING#text#mine
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I see these types of posts every now and again, and it’s only just occurred to me to share some knowledge:
Lines
Lines are often the heart of drawings, and they tend to be the part artists will draw over and over and over again to get them juuuuussssssttttttttt right. Pointing out lines you think are well done will go a long way to compliment an artist.
Your lines are dynamic! (Good for action pictures, art of an intense scene, or art that conveys movement, like a character running)
Your lines are so clean! (Good for neat lines of various sizes. These lines will feel like a coloring book, where you could color inside them yourself if the art was black and white)
Your lines carry such depth! (When lines cross over each other, they make a flat picture look more real, almost like 3D)
You’re good at drawing intricate lines! (Curling lines? Curvy, wavy, bendy lines? Lines that weave around each other? Many, small lines detailing an item like filigree or a robot’s parts? Those are intricate lines, baby)
You make great use of line weight! (In general, the human eye will be drawn towards very thick lines. Artists will use this to make you focus on a certain point, like a character’s face, by using thick lines around the face and thinner lines everywhere else)
You do amazing lineless art! (Not all art has lines! If you see a picture without any lines, make sure to tell the artist you noticed their hard work!)
Your line colors are fantastic! (Not all lines are done in black or white. Some artists will spend a lot of time choosing what color to make their lines. Show them some love!)
Color
Your colors are so vibrant! (Bright colors! Colors that pop! Colors that instantly grab your attention!)
The saturation is great! (A very bright color is highly saturated, and a very dull color is low saturated. High saturation colors can hurt the eyes, so an artist with good saturation control knows how to use bright colors without hurting anyone’s eyes)
I love your color choices! (This can be used for all color schemes; it’s a more general compliment that praises the artists for their understanding of color theory)
Your colors feel like home! (Good for cozy colors. Warm colors that aren’t usually super bright. They make you feel all warm inside. If you picture a cozy cottage in the woods, you’d probably image these colors)
Your pastels are so pretty! (Muted colors usually fall into the category of “pastels”. These are soft colors that are meant to be calming and non-oppressive on your eyes. Think: The opposite of vibrant)
Your colors are so soft! (Similar to the above two, this is for a picture that makes you feel soft and warm and fuzzy inside. It’s more directed towards warm and pastel colors instead of vibrant colors)
Your ability to blend colors is fantastic! (Putting two different colors right next to each other can look jarring or choppy, so many artists will blend two or more colors together to make things look more natural and appealing. A good example is giving a character a subtle pink blush on their otherwise skin-colored cheeks)
You are super good at choosing color palettes! (Good for when the artists regularly chooses colors that just feel like they belong together. Best for when there are only a limited number of colors in the picture)
Your colors are so clean! (Layering color on top of color on top of color can make everything muddy and dull. Artists who blend things well will have “clean colors”. Likewise, some artists intentionally avoid blending to make simple, bold art, in which case their colors are very, very clean)
Light and Shadow
Conveying light and shadows can be really hard. It can take years to understand how lighting works, and it’s even harder to put your knowledge of it into practice. It can be done with colors, lines, textures, and many other ways.
Your lighting is so good! (A general compliment for any time you see good use of lighting. If you’re unsure, check the eyes and the face of the character, as they often have the most highlight to them)
You made great use of shadows here! (Good for when a dark area really captures your attention)
Your shadows feel so alive! (Artists can be really creative. They make dark areas that seem to move or curl or otherwise just be alive on the paper)
The lighting is so soft and gentle! (Like before, this is for art that just makes you feel soft inside! I think of a character maybe surrounded by light in a field of flowers when I imagine something like this)
You balance your shadows so well without making things too dark! (Using lots of dark colors to make shadows can make the picture hard to see, and details can get lost. If you see a picture with lots of shadows, but you can still easily see all the details, then the artists has really good balance and color control)
Your contrast of light and shadow is amazing! (Good for when the artists uses lots of both light and shadow! You often see pictures with a stark difference between the two, like a character standing in the light and the other falling into shadows, but you can also see good contrast in a more standard setting, like a city-scape set in the afternoon)
Details
Pointing out details is one of the fastest ways to make an artist feel seen. It’s harder to give examples for this because it will really, really boil down to the individual picture. The general rule is if you see something you like, say it! Try looking for things to point out, like:
A character’s expression (”She looks so angry!” or “His expression is so sad, I’m going to cry!” or “Wow! I can really tell what they’re thinking just from that expression alone!” or “You draw expressions so well!”)
Little things a character is doing/holding/etc. that may get overlooked (”I noticed you even clenched his fists! Good job!” or “I love her tiny hair clip!” or “You painted her nails to match his eye color! I love it!”)
Details in the background/landscape (”I love the little bird nest you included in the tree branches!” or “The way you draw water is so pretty! I wish I could swim in it!” or “Is that’s Character B’s hand in the background? So cool!” or “That is the softest cat; I want to pet it!” or “That food on the table is the tastiest thing I’ve ever seen!”)
Clothing! (”Her dress is so pretty!” or “Wow, you do such a good job drawing suits!” or “Her t-shirt is so funny!” or “That hat is so cute by the way!”)
The general idea here is just to say whatever comes to your mind, whether it be literally pointing out the obvious (example: “I love that you drew this character wearing a flower crown! Flowers are so pretty!”) or pointing out how the picture made you feel (example: “This picture makes me so happy, I wish I could eat it!”). Just say what you like about it. You don’t need to know fancy art terms. Saying “Your blues are so blue!” is a perfectly wonderful way to describe the three different shades of blue the artist used to draw an ocean. As long as you aren’t criticizing, you can’t really go wrong.
me, absolutely not an artist, desperately trying to articulate how much i like adore people's fanart: ouughgh the colors. there are so MANY of them!!!! and the lines,,,,,,,,,, they are made of lines.. impeccable
#this took longer to type than expected lol#there is so much to be said on such a topic#ive found that just saying 'very good' and pointing out a detail goes very far#'the flowers are very good!' or 'the eyes are very good!' or 'the lines are very good!'#and you can mix it up with synonym like 'fantastic' and 'wonderful' and 'beautiful' and even 'heart breaking'#art should make you have feelings and that includes sad and angry feelings. let the artist know the feelings came through#theres also a lot of overlap. shadows can be lines. lines can be colored. lighting shows details. etc etc#keysmashes also go a longggggg way and so do emojis like hearts and happy faces#i complimented an artist once by pointing out that they did a good job showing the character had curled their toes#and she reached out to me personally to thank me because i was the only person to mention it#and i think she had spent like half an hour working on that part? maybe? either way she felt seen and appreciated#which is the ultimate goal. let the artist know their time and effort didnt go to waste. you saw what they did and thank them for it#even if 100000 other people have already pointed out a detail you should also point out that detail. no such thing as too much love#and most compliments arent too weird. you can say you want to eat their art. you can say you want to bottle their art and drink it#you can say you want to print their art and hang it on your ceiling. you can say you want their art at your wedding#those are high compliments and arent seen as weird or obsessive#i told someone i made their art my desktop background at work and i think it melted their brain lol in a good way#also! you can point out the medium! if its done on paper with pen tell them they do beautiful traditional art!#if its done on a computer tell them they are great at digital art!#tell them their brush strokes are beautiful!#you can also just default to 'youre such a good artist!' and 'you draw so nice!' and 'you make great art!'#the word 'wow' also goes a long way. 'your lines are just so... wow!' or 'And those colors! wow!'#'id like to stare at this for the next 10 years please and thank you' is always a good one#just speak your mind and be kind#neo speaks#neo rambles#art#compliment your artist#compliment art#art appreciation
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Thinking about Calamari guy from work tiday :/
#this guy kept coming to me for helo in store#and was like ah sorry im wasting your time#and i was like nah waste away you good#and he asked if id go with him to look for his ciffee and stuff#so i agreed#and then i dipoed to go work more#then he cane back and asked if we had a specific fish product#and i was like#no#but we have calamari and i think thats lime#octopus or squid or something#and we spome abiut it for a bjt#then i overheard him using my correct pronouns without me ljke#saying#so he knew-#and then he came back ti me again to chat a little more#and as he was leaving to go oay he turned ti me#ans was ljme#bye sweetheart#and im like???#i might be in love with you bro-#to clarify he was like#my age#not some weirdo older guy dwdw
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#NO YOURE TOO CAUGHT UP TRYING TO NOTICE HIM NOTICING YOU TO SEE THE WAY IVE BEEN GIVING TOO MUCH -know i shouldnt reach for love- BUT IM#TOO CAUGHT UP ANALYSING THE THINGS YOU SAY INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO THE WAY YOU TALK -it just confirms that ive lost- IVE BEEN USING ALL OF#MY! NIGHTS! SPENT EVERY SECOND WONDERING ABOUT THE! HEIGHTS! WASTE ALL MY TIME IGNORING ALL THE CLEAR! SIGNS! KNOW YOU WERE NEVER READY FOR#US! ITS SELFISH THINKING IT WAAAS#audio#music#mico#le mine#!!!! I NEEDED SOMEONE WHO CARED!!!! YOU NEEDED SOMEBODY THERE!!!! I SAID THINGS I COULDNT BEAR! FOR ANYBODY ELSE!!!!#I WISH ID LEFT IT ALONE! CAUSE NOW IM NEEDING TO KNOW!#WAS I THE ONE OR JUST A FILL IN FOR ANOTHER SOUL???? 🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸#SoundCloud#le song shouting
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why am i such a fuck up why couldnt i have just been normal fuck i wanna kill myself
#j’s a bloody mess#i cant fucking do anything right#im a waste of space that only exists to serve others but i cant even do that#i love and hate when ppl worry for me#bc like. holy shit someone cares and all#but then also. why are you wasting your time on me???#like im genuinely not worth it#(even tho i love the gesture and desperately dont want *** to stop. hgg why do my feelings always have to contradict all the time)#words can’t describe how i feel rn tbh#i just. idk??? i dont deserve to live and i know it with every atom in my body and yet i keep living???#chat i may be selfish this is gonna kill me#(im so fucking close to begging anyone to tell me that i should kms i cant do this. i want them to tell me how worthless i am#and how they wish i wouldve killed myself already. just so id stop questioning if i am a bad person and actually have confirmation and#so i wouldnt feel bad about killing myself)#(but ik realistically thatd just concern them. thus wasting their time. thus making me more worthless!)
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