#I. WANT . To do. other things.... but those things require time and degrees and money and learning curves that me and Mr Jim Bob Depression

[capsfriendly]

with the caps at home vs the panthers tonight, i wanted to come on here and say a couple things about the panthers’ visit to the white house.

i’ve seen some people on here and on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of certain players who have vocally supported diversity initiatives in hockey turning around and doing a photo op with a man who is nakedly trying to strip marginalized people of their rights. the sense of betrayal those fans are feeling is completely justified. despite appearances, conservative politics are incredibly popular among nhl players. i’m not writing to defend any of these men (my views lean pretty far left), but to share my understanding of the ways north american hockey as an institution perpetuates conservatism.

1) barrier of entry

ice hockey requires a lot of equipment to play. to be able to put a child through the decade or more of club dues and equipment fees required to begin seeing returns on investment���in men’s hockey, this begins with stipend pay at the major junior level in north america—requires an amount of money that many families simply cannot pay (though there are a bevy of charities trying to combat this). sports like soccer and basketball, which require comparably little equipment, are far more popular among both players of color and players from low-income families, especially in countries where hockey isn’t a national pastime.

because of this economic disparity between those who can play hockey and those who can’t, locker rooms can turn into eco chambers of privilege.

2) lack of higher education

i’m not sure of the data for other countries, but in the united states, there is a high positive correlation between holding a college degree and voting for democratic candidates. north american players are drafted to the nhl from major junior and collegiate teams, and entrance to professional leagues cuts their education short.

nhl players drafted from collegiate teams often enter the league without completing a bachelor’s degree, getting a year or two of higher education. during those years, many pick classes that they already have a strong knowledge base in, aware they’ll need to keep their grades up to maintain their university’s gpa requirement for athletes. because of this, many miss out on subjects that would teach them about systems of inequality like statistics, sociology, and studies of groups of historically marginalized people.

major juniors players, who move away from home in their mid teens, are even worse off. they leave school, usually completing the bare minimum requirements of a high school diploma to focus on their development as players and travel for games. and up until a recent vote, athletes from the canadian major junior hockey leagues were ineligible from playing ncaa hockey.

3) body economics

like all athletes, hockey players’ bodies are their jobs. the natural decline of their bodies over time limits their playing careers to the years of their lives when they can physically compete with both opposing players (to win games) and their own teammates (for roster spots).

the mean nhl career is 7 years. many hockey players don’t learn another trade and have no guarantee of making a successful career transition after retirement from playing (though some go on to coaching and media positions).

this creates a pressure to make as much money as possible while they still can, knowing that every time the take to the ice to do their jobs, they risk the very things they use to earn money: their bodies.

the physical nature of hockey means that a career-ending injury could come at any point. holding onto their earnings, knowing they’ll likely make up the bulk of income over their entire life, is essential to ensuring the comfort and health of themselves and their families.

earning high paychecks for an inherently limited number of years, it becomes attractive to these players to support candidates who promise to cut taxes for the rich, something popular among conservative politicians. while players may bear no ill will to members of historically marginalized groups and may even support their rights and freedoms, their personal economic situations lead them to vote for politicians who perpetuate that marginalization.

there are plenty of straight-up bigots playing major league sports. the panthers shouldn’t be singled out for visiting 1600 pennsylvania avenue. not because supporting the current administration isn’t reprehensible, but because it isn’t unique among hockey players—or even among athletes.

[mothfog]

i wish there were words to describe how much i know this job is not for me

[dc-x-reader-stuff]

HusbandJason Todd x Reader head cannons please !!!

Husband! Jason Todd Hc’s

Jason Todd x Gn!Reader

My first time writing Jason stuff, AaAa - I hope it’s accurate to a good point. Like I said before I’m partial to Wayne Family Adventures Jason and a mix between him and the other versions of Jason’s I’ve seen on this app so I hope it’s acceptable- TvT

I’ve seen a lot of people be a stickler about the accuracy of Jason and have gotten genuinely angry if he was too nice or too angry or whatever so it’s all ahdjfnfjfn-

Anyways I hope you enjoy though- :DD

——————————————————————

The wedding the both of you have was small. Well, small-ish - there was a lot of people he wanted to invite, surprisingly, ranging from some close friends, to allies in the vigilante world, to his family. There were a lot of vigilante’s in their civilian forms at your guy’s wedding. Your side of the family was really surprised The Bruce Wayne and The Clark Kent was there without any paparazzi whatsoever.

(You and Jason were very careful about that. So was Bruce, especially for all the hell Jason went through when he was younger. They may be on better terms now, but he still felt he had a lot to make up for. Jason is completely fine with that - to a point, of course.)

The honeymoon? Nice and calm vacation to a small town near Smallville. Jason and you wanted a getaway for just eachother, without any stresses of vigilante stuff, or villains to inevitably interrupt that.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, his siblings were also keeping a very strict routine of ‘DO NOT CONTACT JASON OR Y/N UNLESS IF IT IS A DIRE, DIRE EMERGENCY’

Trust me, if it was two dires you both would’ve had to come home.

Luckily that didn’t happen.

Now, married life back in the city was a whole other thing to get used to.

You two have already lived together for the past couple years beforehand. You two have already dealt with your fair share of strains in the relationship, and still do to some degree. But luckily over the years before marriage you guys found a way to deal with that in a healthy way.

You prioritize healthy coping skills. So does Jason.

Even your respective therapists do. (Harley Quinn helped you both find ones qualified for your respective traumas. Very hard task, but Harley has a bit of a soft spot for Red Hood both in and out of the mask. She’s pretty chill with you too.)

Jason has his bouts of anger. Never, ever takes it out on you though, ever. Hell no. You guys have a punching bag for that. Sometimes you both use it together if you guys are venting about your day! Very cathartic and nice to bond with.

He teaches you how to fight. Just in case. You hate using weapons but he helps you get more comfortable, and you guys go over plans in case of break-ins, kidnappings, ect.

Especially if someone decides to burgle your cat.

You guys have a black cat you guys found in an alleyway a year into dating. He is your guy’s son that you decided to name Robin. Jason didn’t like the name at first, especially since you not-so-subtly alluded it to be reminiscent of his Robin days, but over time it stuck.

Robin is a nice and very sweet kitty. No one messes with Robin and you have thrown hands after someone broke into your apartment once to steal him. That was also during the time you moved in with Jason, he freaked out when you called him after the break in. Thoroughly impressed you managed to beat up the intruder but he cares about your’s and your cat’s safety - you moved in not long afterwards.

Reading and drawing dates - you guys, even into your marriage, go on small dates like these that don’t require too much thought or money. Sometimes you go to the park, or if it’s raining to your guy’s favorite café, with your favorite books (and sketchbook no. 173637294 for you specifically), and just enjoy your times together.

You guys do it at home too, but it’s fun to dress up and get out of the apartment for those kinds of dates.

Your home, despite all the weapons he has hidden around or on ‘decorative’ display, is quite cozy too!! It’s your safe space and you want it to exude that energy all throughout. Jason likes figuring out where decorations and furniture should go with you, it’s his favorite thing that gives him a sense of normalcy with you.

Also the banter between you two is fun. Smartass after smartass remark leaves you in stitches with laughter. Especially if it’s late at night and you both are loopy from lack of sleep. (Jason has more practice with that but it still effects him to some degree.)

At this point being married, you’re used to his nightly activities too. Sometimes you stay up and make him his favorite food to the best of your ability (you aren’t too good at cooking, but you’re learning for the both of you, same as him). Other times you just order takeout and eat with him.

Sometimes you help with his injuries, other times you don’t. If they’re small and benign he’s able to do them himself, bigger ones have you worried and helping him.

You always make sure he has an icepack ready for bruises. He’s taught you how to stitch wounds up to, given the fact that you don’t have as much medical experience as him.

Also after his nightly escapades as Red Hood, you guys sit and have tea too!! Calms him down enough to sleep, even if some nights are harder than others.

He’s gotten better at coping with his PTSD, but as per the usual he does have his nightmares at times. You being there right next to him helps. And you help ground him back into reality. Be it cuddles, if he’s comfortable with them, or be it just sitting there next to him and talking to him about whatever’s on your mind until he’s laying back down to listen to you.

You guys switch between who’s big and little spoon.

Robin is always near you guys in some way during bedtime. One time you woke up to cat fur in between your’s and Jason’s heads before. Robin doesn’t understand personal space at all but you guy’s love it all the same.

Speaking of which, he’s a natural born shoulder kitty! He will jump on your shoulders when the offer is available. Sometimes he scares the crap out of the both of you though whenever he’s being frisky, though. But normally Robin’s smart enough to do it when you two are aware that he’s there. He learns.

On your harder days, Jason makes you breakfast and makes you tea just like you do for him. He always asks you what you need, what you’re comfortable with. Some days it’s cuddling, other times when you don’t want to be touched you just tell him you want him near only. He knows that’s when he can just sit beside you on either the couch, table, barstools or bed and just read while you listen and watch your guy’s favorite shows.

You guys also have nights where you guys have watch parties too.

Sometimes his siblings join in too, bringing food from Alfred as well. It’s fun, and annoying for Jason at times, but still great nonetheless.

You guys visit the manor when needed, or during holidays too. Hanukkah, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, certain Galas, birthday parties, ect.

Sometimes you guys both just visit to mess with his siblings and Bruce. Cause some chaos a bit, that sort of thing. It’s fun.

Also you guys have gossip dates.

Be it about vigilante drama, co-worker drama, customer drama, family drama, villain drama, you guys will gossip and when those dates are at home Robin the cat will put his two cents in as well. He’s as vocal as he is sweet. Which is very.

And sometimes you record when Jason and Robin have conversations. Neither of you guys can understand the cat’s meows but it’s so fun interpreting it and seeing your husband have a full on conversation with the cat. You send it to the group chat you’re in with all the siblings and he never hears the end of it for the next few patrols. Sometimes Dick and Tim and Duke want to know what the tea is between Jason and the cat and he always says “That’s between me, my spouse and my cat, not you three.”

You inevitably tell them anyways, as well as Cass, Steph and Barbara.

Also Damian loves Robin that cat. He requests play dates between his pets and yours. You always cave for the kid, much to Jason’s dismay. But then again, he caves for him too. He always does.

Speaking of kids, I don’t think you guys will necessarily have one for a long, long while.

You guys agreed that you have to be absolutely sure and ready. Financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, mentally. Kids are a big responsibility and neither of you want your kids to ever grow up in an unsafe and unstable environment.

When you guys are ready though, which won’t be for a long while, I’m sure you guys will pull a Bruce and adopt or foster kids. Teenagers first, along with their siblings if they have any. You’d never separate them from their siblings - hell, the both of you, along with some help from his family and friends, would track siblings down if needed.

Like I said though, that won’t be for a long while.

You two are perfectly content in your save haven apartment with your lovely black cat Robin.

Besides, if you guys had kids early, Robin would be jealous and attention starved.

Neither of you would want that.

[feeders-guide-to-gainers]

Feeders guide!

The importance of keeping track:

It’s crucial to keep your gainer on track! A lot of chubs require a certain degree of supervision! If they want to get fat they gotta eat! If your gainer isn’t completely self sufficient in the art of gaining it might be time to start Calorie counting together! If your gainer is not yet considered “overweight” then it might be time to get a meal plan and calorie counter started! Logging calories helps you keep track of your goals! Most beginner gainers start with 2900-3500 calories a day with MINIMAL exercise!

Some important numbers to remember:

Essential Body Fat: 2-4%

Athletes Body Fat: 5-13%

Healthy Fit Body Fat: 14-17%

Overweight Body Fat: 18-23%

Obese Body Fat: 24%+

Calorie Intakes:

Double check your gainers intake and Weight prediction based on this calculator!!!

This will save you lots of guessing!!! For example my Daily Minimum for 2lbs a week! Doing nothing but the bare minimum of activity, basically a couch potato I need to consume a total of 3,200 calories a day!!!!

Good ways to motivate your Gainers:

Clothes are EXPENSIVE so make your gainers wear their clothes till they become unwearable! Now I’m not saying send your chubs out into the world with only shirts that expose their mid-drift without raising their hands! Certainly don’t do that. What I mean is let the buttons pop let the pants rip when at home it should be shirtless or skin tight as motivation to upgrade. This will save you some money for the time being, getting an accurate size on your fatty will not only encourage them but feel like a reward! This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, however speaking from experience….going from a Medium to a Large is short lived and I wish I just held off until I reached XL’s! Save your money!!! If it’s unbearable wearing always trust what the gainer says it’s their body! You are just a big cog in the machine that’s to be your Gainer!

Friends outside of feeders:

Most gainers should do their best to make friends with other gainers! Feeders this will be super helpful to progressing their gains!! If even the people they hang out with are fat pigs and gainers they will automatically start to pick up on their eating habits too. While a Feeder takes a lot of credit for the beauty that will become a gainers belly, have friends to get them eating too will be helpful. There is nothing wrong with Feeders sharing the fun too!!! Make a gainer friend together feed your gainer and your newly found friend at the same time! A gainer will never say no to some nice belly rubs and a big meal! Being fat can easily be influenced! Make good friends with gaining influence!!!

Weigh In’s

While watching those numbers go up is exciting…sometimes you hit Plateaus and weighing yourself gainer everyday can hurt their motivation or self esteem! That being said! 2-4 Weigh in’s a month is good enough! Never let your big boys weigh in EVERYDAY!!!

Spicing up the bedroom!

While a lot of this is for the gainer’s benefit Feeders this is where a lot of the fun begins! Here are a list of things to try out with your Gainer when you want to get more intimate-

Bring a few fast food meals and feed them to your gainer while in some tight clothes.

Putting your gainers in Jock Straps!

Making delicious gainer shakes

Now while these are great options there is yet another option! WARNING most gainers start off having a hard time with these but after the weight starts to pile on Gainers will become dependent upon these. They do become addictive. Some people naturally like it but myself it took time!

BOOST VHS it is a small portion and 530 calories! When I tell you having 3 meals and 3 of these small shakes your gainer will BLOW UP in a matter of weeks!!

Belly play! If your gainer has a nice over hang slap it grab it shake it jiggle it rub it! All of that!

This one is going to sound strange but after the first 40+ pounds their chest should be bigger and nipples either puffy or soft. That being said nipples become sensitive and sucking them and playing with them can stimulate a very good sexual response.

Get them on their hands and knees make them eat without using their hands! Make sure to feel them up praise them for eating everything and treat them right!

Massage their prostate while they eat on their hands and knees!

Call them those special names they like so much! Check out my other post to see them all but this is your Pig/your fatty/ your fat fuck!

Start teaching them how to bottom if they don’t already. Topping burns more calories than taking it while lying on your back.

If you are someone that isn’t into shrinking dicks the fat pad will mostly steal a few inches from your gainer. Politely as about using a penis pump and making sure that they aren’t using chastity cages to stunt growth. This is so your gainer can maintain topping but a feeder should practice riding on top while your chubby man relaxes!

If you are okay with the fat pad eating away at the inches of your gainers dick. Don’t let them masterbate, and use chastity cages/belts to prevent them from touching them self! Make sure they are achievable calories or finishing meals before letting them take it off!

Feeding with tight clothes on! When a belly is bloated enough you can certainly pop buttons!

Make sure you are giving and receiving consent and everything that you do only makes the feeder and gainer(s) feel good!

The key to happiness is through the stomach so fill it up with food!

[finnlongman]

Do you have to get a master’s degree or a PhD to publish research? Or work at a university? I don’t currently plan to go into academia but I really enjoy doing research, is it possible to do that as a hobby/side job? (Specifically asking in relation to literature, obviously research in things like the natural sciences requires the extra training and lab access by default)

An important note to start with: basically nobody is getting paid for academic publishing. Especially not for articles. They write them for free, they're peer-reviewed for free, they're edited for free. The only people making money are usually the big corporate owners of journals, if it is a big corporate journal and not one of the small independent ones. It's all a huge scam, obviously, but the idea is that people who have an academic job will be publishing the research produced in the course of that job, and thus they are already being paid for doing the research. In an age of precarious employment, it doesn't really work like that, but that's the idea.

That means you can't really do it as a side job, because there isn't any money in it. Doing it as a hobby, on the other hand, is theoretically possible, although I'd have some major caveats to offer:

On the publishing side, I can only speak for my particular field of medieval Celtic Studies, which is weird and old-fashioned and works on arcane and unknowable systems that deeply confuse anyone in a field advanced enough to have heard of "digital submissions" and "online journals". One of our major journals is literally run by one guy who requires you to do all the page proofs by hand and post them back to him and you can buy the (physical-only) journal for £5 per volume. This is not typical for academia these days, so all of my answers are going to be shaped by that.

On the publishing side, you definitely don't have to have a PhD or an academic job to publish an article, which I know because I have published several articles and am only now doing a PhD, so by definition I did that without a PhD or an academic job. This is unusual, for the record; I know very few people who've published before doing a PhD, but that's partly because a lot of my friends went straight through from undergrad to postgrad with no time out, and thus wouldn't have had time to be publishing in between, whereas I took a more leisurely approach.

However, two of these articles were significantly based on my MA work, and one of them -- the only one so far published in an actual journal rather than a conference proceedings -- would have been completely impossible without skills and knowledge gained during my MA. That isn't to say there is no way to gain those skills without doing postgraduate study. But it does mean that there are specific skills required that require training and experience, whether you get that in a university context or find a way to learn it outside of that. (For example, palaeographical or linguistic training, or a firm grounding in theoretical approaches, specific methodologies, etc.)

The purpose of doing an MA or a PhD a lot of the time is to pursue research and gain those skills. If you really enjoy doing research to the point where you would want to publish it (note above: zero financial reward for doing so), I would question why you don't want to pursue higher education. There are lots of reasons not to, for sure, so this isn't me saying the only valid research comes out of that environment or that it's the only path to academic fulfillment. Again: I published articles before I started my PhD. One of my articles is even based on undergraduate work, though substantially revised and redeveloped.

But... that is a point. It was substantially revised and redeveloped. Because for the most part, work produced without the higher-level study and skills (whether gained formally or informally) is not going to be of the same calibre as work produced with them, which seems kind of obvious when you spell it out. There is more to literary research than just close-reading a text and having a lot of thoughts about it, because if there wasn't, nobody would need to do postgrad study about it.

Literature may have different, less obvious skills required than natural sciences, but that doesn't mean it has none. It does mean they may be easier to acquire outside of formal academic courses, but that doesn't mean they don't need acquiring, however you do it.

There are also practical barriers to publishing as an independent scholar. Sometimes these are financial barriers, where not having institutional support will mean you can't publish open-access because you don't have the funding to support it. Sometimes they're things like library access -- when my article in Cambrian Medieval Celtic Studies came out in 2022, I was not currently in academia, nor was I living within easy reach of an academic library, which made it incredibly hard to check references or follow up on suggestions from peer reviewers. The editor of the journal was kind enough to send me scans of articles that had been recommended by reviewers, but not all editors would do that, and so without access to past scholarship, it would be very hard to write something academically solid.

Again, there are other ways to gain that access. I have spent a fair bit of my adult life working in universities in a non-academic capacity, which entitled me to use their libraries even though I wasn't a student or officially "in academia". Many fields have a larger proportion of their scholarship digitally available, which can make it easier to access without physically going to a library. Etc. But it is a barrier, and the financial hurdles are less easily overcome. (Fortunately, very little in my field is pay-to-publish, but Open Access costs can be troublesome!)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all of my currently-available articles were published before I started my PhD, and I was not "in academia" at the time that I wrote them, but all but one of them was based on work I had done as a student, and they relied heavily on skills and knowledge I developed as an MA student. I am now as a PhD student seeing elements I could have done better, having built on those skills and that knowledge further. Subsequent work was submitted while working for a university in a non-academic capacity, because this gave me access to their libraries. (Which really shows you how long I've been procrastinating on finishing the edits for this article, because I've been a PhD student for over a year now... I originally submitted it in January last year, whoops.) Again, I have ended up subsequently revising this as I improve as a scholar.

So, technically I have done research as a "hobby" alongside a non-academic day job. Technically it is possible. It is hard, but you can do it, if you really want to. But I think I would have struggled to produce anything of a sufficient standard for publication if not for my MA and the skills I learned during it, and there is zero financial reward for academic publishing, so it's definitely not a viable "side job".

Having said all that: If you want to keep researching things alongside your other work, there is absolutely no reason not to do that. Formal academic publishing isn't the only way of doing research, you know? It's probably not even the best way, even if it's the current institutional standard for sharing that research with other people. But you can just... learn things, and enjoy them, and post about them on your blog, and so on. Lots of people do this. Sometimes the most useful website collecting resources or variants of a text or commentaries or whatever is run by a complete randomer with a job in a totally unrelated field who is just super into this in their free time.

And I will also note: my MA and PhD thesis proposals both came out of research that I was doing independently alongside my day job when I realised that I needed more support and skills to do it properly, so I would benefit from doing it as part of a formal programme. I did not originally plan to do postgrad study. By the time I finished undergrad I was fairly sure I was done with academia forever, because I'd mostly been miserable at uni. But it hit a point where I kept chasing up details by myself and going "damn, I wish I knew how to read these manuscripts", or "if only my Old Irish skills were better", or "I wish I could access this obscure text that's only found in special collections of that university library", and that's the point at which I decided to do an MA. So sometimes it happens like that too.

(I have been adamant all along that I wasn't aiming to stay in academia as a career. Given that my previous claims that I was not going to do a PhD and then, before that, that I was not going to do a Masters, turned out to be categorically false, well... I'm not necessarily right about that. I would certainly love to keep doing research, but the short-term contracts and precarious employment of early career academia don't appeal to me, and there's absolutely no way I want to start moving cities/countries every year or two again when I've just managed to get semi-consistent healthcare after moving back to the UK and having to start on all the waiting lists from scratch. I am too chronically ill for that kind of lifestyle and, I suspect, for the demands of academia in general. We will see how long I can stretch out "getting people to pay me to research things" without those aspects, but it may be that I end up as an independent researcher alongside my other jobs again. At least now I live in Cambridge, and can access the University Library as an alumnus wherever I end up working... that's something!)

I published 'early' both because I felt I had something to say and if I didn't say it, nobody would say it (nobody else cares about Láeg), and also because I didn't think I was sticking around in academia, so if I didn't say it then, I would never say it. I was definitely right about the first part, but if I end up sticking around, I'll disprove the second part and I'll probably start regretting publishing at such an early stage as I continue to disprove my own points with further research. I do think that's normal no matter when you start, lol, but there's a degree of "and why do I expect any more senior academics to listen to what an MA student had to say, anyway" at times. (Because I don't believe in hierarchies and I'm convinced I had something meaningful to offer, that's why, but hey.) The only tangible benefit to having published that research for me was being able to point at it when applying for PhD funding and say "look, I'm already published and everything!". The main benefit to other people wasn't much beyond what it would have been if I just... put that research on my blog for them to read anyway.

Where am I going with this? I don't know. I apologise, this is rambly as hell and I'm going in circles, I'm not very awake. Maybe I'll just stop there. I could start talking about popular history books that you'll find in bookshops and how most of them are written by people without postgraduate degrees, but I don't really know that much about those, and I feel this would be getting us off-topic.

tl;dr you technically don't need postgraduate qualifications to publish academically, but you do generally need postgraduate-level skills to produce work that's good enough, however you acquire them; there are a fair number of practical barriers to publishing without institutional support; and there's no money in any of it anyway

[pumpkin321xxx]

hi darling! ^^

may i be allowed to request a sigma x reader from you? very onbrand for me

i was thinking about a reader that has some sort of accident and because of this got amnesia shortly before she met sigma.

sigma as someone who also has the problem of not recalling his past at all and now feels finally close and understood by someone. of how it feels at the start like you're trapped in someone you don't know and how it's such a helpless feeling.

y/n as someone with an actual past might talk about that it feels like she's finding out more about someone but not her since those hobbies she apparenrly had require it to be a skill that you get so she can't return to those but only feel like she has only worsend in every aspect. maybe she also doesn't feel home. yes there are these kind people but she doesn't recognize their faces and it's a scary feeling that if anyone would walk up to her and say "i'm your old bestie!" she'd have no way to tell if it was right or not. so she feels like she's somehow missplaced.

for this she's trying out many hobbys now - maybe she went to the sky casino to try out if such games would be something she likes. or any other reason on how sigma and her could meet

now both of them have a comfort person with a slightly similar issue

amnesia can make that the memory consists of snippets of events, emotions, visuals but not a continuous story and to somwtimes remember new things suddently

so in short amnesia y/n x sigma - my whole rambling was only to get the idea but if you want to do it diffrently it's alright love like if they already knew each other or not

i hope you'll have a lovely day my darling and have eaten enough kisses your cheek

love you!<3

Sure pookster! I think is a bit different but I hope you like it ^^! (I tried okay? sob)

Sigma x Amnesia!reader

contents: Fluff, comfort

Sigma drew out a heavy sigh as he was done for the day—the packed schedule kept him away from you for such a long time but now that he had some time to spare, he swiftly walked in toward his office, to find you curiously staring at the photos of yourself with everyone. 

“How’s the progress?” His voice snapped you out of the thoughts, you looked up to him again and shook your head. That answer was to be expected, it takes time to recall memories, especially after a severe head trauma from a horrifying accident—it will take a lot of time to recall everything. 

It was surprising to him that you survived, yet you were left with broken bones and amnesia. After spending money on his employee, of course you should be fine from the top-quality treatment. 

The moment when you gained conscious and were hit with sudden confusion and panic, it was heartbreaking for him to be asked about everything. The sudden realization about your situation—God he could relate to it, the confusion, the anxiety and the lack of trust. 

Sigma knew very well how it feels but not to much degree since he never had the past—but you on the other hand, had a past and he couldn’t imagine losing the self of identity someone had made due to years of effort. 

It was a month ago yet he could still remember the distrustful look you held when he walked in to your view, those eyes that looks at the threat, watching their every move and strategize the escape. God, he hated it. 

He wanted to prove himself that he was no threat and reassure you about your safety, but who could he blame? He knew that feeling all too well and he knew talking to you might make it worse, albeit, he could give it a try, right? 

A small talk about your daily life reassured you somehow and here you are in his office, giving your best to recall everything. 

No deny that it overwhelmed you—you were desperate to learn about yourself but no use. You can't recall it no matter what. The only thing you have learned so far was about the casino manager, the employees and everyone except for yourself. 

Your lips quivered, begging to spill out your thoughts as your shaky irises were staring right at Sigma, trying yet again to remember something about yourself—anything. Just anything. 

Sigma picked on the stare he’s receiving and stepped up to you, concern was the first that popped up in mind and to immediately check on you. “What’s wrong?” He asked, making sure to keep his voice low and soft. 

You took a moment to reply, sucking in a deep breath and finally you spoke. “Do you perhaps know something about me?” 

“Of course, I-” 

“My life outside casino perhaps?” You voice cut him off and now it was his turn to stay silent. 

“All I knew was this casino, and the staff in it. But what about my life outside of here? Where I was just a normal person living out there and not gambling with the customers. Do you perhaps know?” 

The pleading tone in your voice along with the hopeful yet desperate look was enough to keep him silent. He could just make up a lie and let you live with it, you have amnesia, right? 

However, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Life is precious and so are its memories—and he knew that all well from his life before being a manager. 

Lying and making up a fictional life for you was like betraying you since you dependent on him for answers about yourself, everything that had at least a small role in your life. 

“I even forgot my skills in here as a gambler... I... I-I don't know what to do at this point.” Burning tears formed in your eyes and you couldn’t hold your head up bravely, hanging it low to avoid his concerned look and hope for the heaviness to ease off. 

“Everything is foreign and all I can do is just accept it, knowing I am vulnerable to you...” You paused, unsure to continue further but decided against it. Feeling the weight sinking down next to you on the couch. 

“I sure do understand the confusion, the lost part of you that you’re so desperate for.”  You slowly lifted your head up to meet his eyes that were looking back with concern. 

It took him a moment, and it was a quandary moment. He can't think of a way to comfort you—this case was far too familiar but maybe, he should share his case and hope it would comfort you and help you relate to someone at least. 

As a manager, he always cared for his employees. Getting along with them helped him a lot—he was able to get their trust and efficiently lead them through the work. Any disasters and their employees would always be backed up by him, taking the responsibility to stay firm on the ground and deal with it right away. This also includes their well-being. 

And you weren’t a different case either. Sigma always looked after you after the accident, ensuring a smooth recovery. Though, looking at your current self, he felt as if he had failed in aspects of mental health. 

He was thinking for a moment to think of a way to let you know it's not an end. “I can’t recall my past either...” Sigma paused, letting those words sink in. You tensed at the sudden reveal—it was literally unexpected that someone who was ‘born’ to be a manager suffers from amnesia. 

Someone who had managed the casino so well, the one who would make everything seem easy and comfortable for the employees whenever he walked in... 

“Casino was all I ever had...” 

You were snapped out of your thoughts as he continued and you listened intently and curiously. “However, it didn't stop me from accepting the new life—that this is my home from now on, everyone here is like a family to me. I'm still on guard around people, who to trust and who to stay away from.” 

“So, I do understand your feelings, however, I am at ease that at the very least, you are safe from awful people. That much I can assure you, alright?” He flashed you a smile, and you never felt so understood by him. 

Forcing out a surprised chuckle to shake yourself out of the shock, you nod a bit. “It is comforting, really.”  

“And having amnesia won't mean everything is over. It is a second chance for you, relive the moments and memories you lost. New experiences are everything, do you know?” 

You chuckled more at his words, finding them a bit cheesy but hey? At least you two find something in common and this meant you can really count on him for anything. 

Sigma on the other hand was relieved to see you crack a smile and get comfortable around him, praising himself a bit even though he felt a bit awkward getting personal at the risk of breaking his professionalism as your manager. 

“I am glad I have someone to count on, and you’re right on the experience part! I maybe struggling to acquire skills in here but the experiences make up for it.” 

"Right." Sigma smiled, happy to see his employee finally content.

[theresstillgrowinghere]

Oh I am fucking angry.

Dr. Edwin Leap (yes, I will call you out by name because you published your bullshit online for the whole world to see), thank you for almost comedically illustrating why so many patients are afraid of doctors.

You do not ever get to think of your patients as other. They are your same flesh and blood; I don’t care how much you want to think of yourself as separate from those of us unwell. (I can tell how much disdain you hold for us just from this short article. We are failures, not good enough, not strong and morally pure like you are, hm?)

Healthcare can never, never, allow itself to other its patients. And yet, you publish an entire article calling sick people Homo infirmus and Homo fragilis? Your tone doesn’t come across very humorous, but even if it’s just supposed to be a silly little joke, explain to me why the fuck you think that would be okay.

Why the fuck would it be okay to say another person is not only not your same species but instead defined as other primarily by their illness?

And designated as such by you, a medical professional with direct influence on the lives and wellbeings of the very people you are dehumanizing?

Do you not see how terrifying that is? Do you not see why people would be afraid of you after just having read this piece?

And then you go on, boiling my blood:

“Homo fragilis, at least as a diagnostic category, begins earlier and earlier in life and often results not only in a tribe of people dependent on medications but also, ‘relying on the kindness of strangers.’ No, maybe better put, ‘demanding the kindness of strangers.’ These individuals require food, shelter, medication, affirmation, and often money from others because they cannot function in the wild. I’m not being mean; the causes are legion, from poor family structure to mental health challenges to social media.”

I cannot believe how many infuriating things you’ve said just in this paragraph alone, but I want to focus on the part that immediately washed me with deep shame. Unrightfully so. You have no right to make me feel ashamed, and yet, when you said “demanding” better captures my state of existence, it turned my stomach inside out.

Yes, I am disabled. I absolutely rely very heavily on other people. Yes, I require food, shelter, medication, affirmation, money. And so do you, christ. You aren’t better than us just because we need support from our communities. Getting support from those around us isn’t a crime, isn’t a wrongdoing, isn’t a moral failure.

You know what it is? Human.

Whether or not Margaret Mead actually said that a healed femur in recovered ancient remains was the earliest sign of civilization (we’re going to save the charged nature of this term for another time and for now just use it as a placeholder for consistent, steady, lasting community), there is a reason why people latch onto this story. There is a reason why it warms people’s hearts:

So many of us want to care* for people. So many of us want to have people care for us. So many people feel closer to others, to ourselves, to our own humanity when offering others care.

(*I am including all the vastly different ways we can show others care, love, support, respect, protection, encouragement, etc.)

And perhaps the most upsetting part is how close you are to understanding the problem while getting the most key pieces so, so wrong. You’re right, our current healthcare system cannot handle the amount of support patients need right now. But please, I beg you, could you consider for just one second that it is not the fault of the patients? Could you please not strip me of my humanity just because I need help to survive?

Fix the system. You’re right, there is a massive problem. But it’s not us. Next time you’re considering your “long-dormant zoology degree,” think twice and reflect a bit before publishing bullshit like this. Think about what it means to take care of those around you. Think about your own humanity.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Weird question but do you think its possible to become a zookeeper without a degree? I'm 29 and don't have the time, energy, or money to go back to college and fear I've missed my chance at my dream career. I'm not sure how to get experience or what I could possibly do to help my resume.

It’s definitely possible! Not super common, but possible - and much more so than it would have been a couple of years ago.

When I was in college (early 2010s) and wanting to enter the field, there was a pretty clear pipeline: four year degree, unpaid summer internships, then apply for a part-time or temp position somewhere, and volunteer somewhere until you get a first job. This is still somewhat of the way it’s done at bigger AZA facilities.

But, interestingly enough, things are changing. There’s two things really driving that. The first is the massive push for increased DEAI efforts in the zoo industry. After the big commitments AZA and many individual zoos made during the BLM protests in 2020, one of the big conversations that started was how inequitable zoo hiring and especially internship programs are. Requiring four years degrees and large amounts of unpaid labor before getting a job - and paying poverty wages once someone gets that job - biases success entering and staying in the zoo field towards people with generational wealth. I honestly didn’t think the advocacy that stemmed from those discussions would do much, and I’ve been very pleasantly surprised to see that I was wrong! There’s a been a lot of real movement towards creating paid internships and making hiring requirements more equitable. It isn’t happening everywhere, but I know it’s becoming more and more common (and last year there was a ton of presentations about this on the AZA annual meeting schedule, which is a huge deal). The other thing that’s happening is less formal, but equally fascinating. I’ve been present for a lot of discussions about how there’s a disconnect between what zoos are hiring for (formal education, complex resumes) and what skills the job actually requires. It seems like it’s easier to train people to work with animals and learn their behavior than it is to teach people practical skills like how to do manual labor without hurting themselves and operate heavy machinery. I’ve seen some discussions of how some of their most successful new staff have come from adjacent industries or even just other “blue-collar” jobs that involve similar types of work, regardless of what their academic background is. Which is great! Because that adds to equity and diversity of staff across the industry.

To start off the rest of my answer, there has to be a disclaimer that I’m not in hiring, so I can’t say for sure what will get you a job (and while I’ve volunteered and interned, I have never been formally hired as staff by a zoological facility). So my advice for the rest of this comes from watching and listening to a whole ton of industry folk for the past decade or so, and from what I’ve seen my friends do that’s been successful to get jobs in the field.

In terms of experience, the best thing you can do - and I hate to say this, because it does require a level of privilege to be able to do - is volunteer somewhere. It doesn’t have to be at a zoo. Anything that will give you some animal experience for a resume and references will be valuable: shelters, vet offices, riding barns, farms, even 4H. You need to be able to demonstrate that you’ve worked around a variety of species (even if they’re all domestic) and have people who can speak to the fact that you’re diligent, attentive to detail, and have common sense about things like safety protocols. If you can’t volunteer, try to find a job in any of these areas with similar skills. Or where you can learn them! Say you can’t get an animal care job, but you’re good at phones and people - you could get a desk job at an animal shelter, and help out with cleaning and animal enrichment when possible. Boom! Experience!

It’s also important to learn how to shape your current job experience to an application, which is something I can talk more about and maybe pull in advice from folk actually in hiring for. There’s a ton that can be applicable to animal jobs. Office work? You can probably speak to experience with proprietary software systems and record-keeping (which is a bigger deal than you’d think). Construction / landscaping / similar physical labor jobs? You know how to work hard in a range of weather conditions, keep a project on spec, have experience with complex project planning, and probably know a thing or two about basic safety stuff (don’t store heavy things above your head, lift with your legs, etc). You’re basically looking to communicate “I haven’t worked in this field, but here’s all the skills I have that will translate to this job.”

Realistically, if you’re coming in without a degree or a ton of animal experience, you’re much more likely to be able to get a job at smaller, non-AZA facilities to start (they might not even be zoos - there’s sanctuaries and petting zoos and all sorts of other professional animal care gigs). And this is fine and good! There’s lots of good ones out there. You can always use experience gained there to move up in the field, if it’s your dream to work at an AZA facility specifically. And a lot of people do that - you’ll hear some places talk about how they know they’re training zoos, because their staff get a foot in the door and then consistently leave for other facilities after a couple years. But there’s also a lot of reasons to stay with some of the smaller facilities. They’re often in areas with cheaper cost of living, and so a zookeeping salary will go farther. I’ve also seen that a lot of the smaller facilities - ones where like, staff know and interact with the zoo director frequently - tend to take better care of their staff. They may not be able to increase salary, but I’ve seen some of those facilities go the extra mile for their people in other ways when it’s possible. It’s a very different experience than being a small cog in the giant machines that are many AZA zoos. It’s the sort of thing you have to vet carefully, but when you find a small facility that really invests in it’s people, it can be very worthwhile.

You also have to think about the fact that you don’t have to start in zookeeping to get an animal care job! I’ve seen a lot of people start in education or in summer camp staff, and then use the relationship with the facility and their track record in those jobs to transition into animal care. Especially education, if you’ve got the skill-set, because you’re often working with ambassador animals or in collaboration with the teams that care for them. I’ve seen some people start in facilities or ground crew, too, but I think that’s less common. Getting your foot in the door somehow and building relationships is one of the biggest parts of getting a job in the field if you’re not following the traditional pipeline.

If you’re near enough to a smaller facility that you can visit regularly, do. Learn as much as you can about the zoo and what they do and what they’re involved in, to show that you’re interested and invested, and then go talk to someone there. Tell them exactly what you told me: this is a dream, and you’re really interested in their facility specifically, and you’re wondering what you should do to build a resume to apply for a job there. At worst, you’ll get some advice. At best, they might take a chance on you. I’ve heard of it happening. (The hardest part of this is, honestly, figuring out who to talk to - it’s not the sort of thing where you can just ask a keeper while they’re cleaning. But you can find opportunities, and then ask if there’s someone in management who might have time to answer a couple questions.)

So in short: yes. It’ll take some work and time, and probably some free labor, but it’s doable. More so now than any other time recently. Good luck!

[scarfacemarston]

Hiii ☺️

I’ve never sent you anything before because I’m not great at trying to meet new people but one of the reasons I followed you was because of your love for RDR! It’s one of my favourite games of all time, I’m a sucker for Abigail thou 🤭

Do you have any headcannons with Abigail x Fem! Reader? (Totally okay if not!) & if not, is there anything you would like to share about her?

Hey! So good to hear from you! I've followed your blog for awhile! :) I'm a sucker for Abigail, too. It's a problem. I have actually lots written for Abigail! If you look at my Abigail Roberts x reader tab, you'll find a lot of things. There are some prompts that you'll have to scroll through to get to the writing, but it's there! So, I decided to do something I've never done before and go with Modern AU! Abigail. I've never done that before and I thought it would be fun to try out. If you would prefer I write new hc's with canon, Abigail, that's fine, too! (Note: Lauren Cohan is my fc for Abigail in rp, so that's why she's here.)

Background: She grew up in the foster system after her parents passed away. She was an overachiever in high school and wanted to claw her way past the girl she was in the foster system. However, her dreams for college were put on hold when she became pregnant with Jack, and even more so once she became a single mother. She did underwear modeling and worked in a dive bar for extra money. (It seemed more likely FOR HER than her becoming an escort or a cam girl, but those are valid hc's.)

Four years later, she is amicably co-parenting with John and has an associate's degree in agriculture and business. Now, she has a small farm with fresh organic produce, animal goods like milk and eggs, flowers, and the occasional candle. She is happily in a relationship with the F!reader.

* You insist on helping her at the farmers' markets on the weekends, which is her busiest time selling products. She always attempts to talk you out of it, but you find it rewarding. You watch in awe as the businesswoman in her truly blossoms and the passion she has for her work. 

* You surprise her with wanting to visit other farmer's markets. Sometimes, it's "secret shopper" missions, but a lot of time, it's just holding hands, picking out products, and eating samples. 

* Lots of baths together! She loves to cuddle and the intimacy it can bring.

* You help her cook and bake a lot. She has a huge passion for it, but she just can't get the hang of it. I think she is better with cooking and baking in the modern AU than in canon, but she could still use some help. However, she can make a great chili! It's canonically her favorite food besides chocolate. 

* She can make a mean cocktail. She doesn't drink a lot anymore, but she loves wine, rum, and whisky. However, she worked at a bar while caring for Jack to help put her through school and learned a lot while waiting tables. 

* She is always so thankful for any time you spend with Jack. Liking Jack is a requirement. He comes first in any relationship. However, she does NOT expect you to babysit him, but she is incredibly thankful and falls in love with you a bit more each time you do something with him. 

* With you, she is used to being the big spoon, but she loves to be surprised with being the little spoon sometimes. 

* Blankets everywhere! Big chunky ones are her favorite. Example here: Her goal is to make her own! She is not really into the pillow craze. 

*She canonically loves chocolate. Bonus if the chocolate has a bit of liquor in it. It's her guilty pleasure, but she has to keep it far from Jack.  * Don't play a card game against her; you WILL lose. Especially poker. She's also great at board games. It was the only type of games the foster homes had. However, she doesn't play as many video games. You've been slowly introducing her to games. Right now, she likes to relax with Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. She'll also play with Jack or watch you play games. 

[tarosophical-tarot]

The two main themes for 2025 will be that life is about to accelerate somewhat and this in turn requires that we look after ourselves more.

This is evident in the "central" card 2♦️communication and contracts linked to 3♦️and A♦️, all very speedy cards connected to our reputation. 3♦️is placed (strongly) where it would be astrologically - signifying ambition and assertiveness, conjunct A♦️ indicating electronic media/connectivity.

A♦️ placed as such in a wateryhouse, shows some emotional concerns will surface.

Astrologically speaking, Saturn entering Aries (in 2025) highlights that ideas are about to change and this brings about a new upgraded way of doing things.

The downside of this is the associated trepidation shown in the placement of A♦️in the 11th House.

10♦️ in Aries (beginnings) linked to 4♣️ in Cancer illustrates a new methodology for self care is imminent. 10♦️ indicates an overwhelming situation of communication. 4♣️ (Venus in Aries) highlights in turn a feeling of becoming swamped by this input (a threat to your true self being buried under a wave of information) and the need to retreat back home where we can be ourselves again.

Some grounding is necessary, taking a step back in the summer for a spot of being human again (Jupiter entering Cancer). Jupiter itself highlights an expansive worldview and an all encompassing need to grow and explore but at what cost to our original ideas being swamped with all this new information?

10❤️ highlights this degree of dissatisfaction resides with employment in the 6th House, an emotional situation is coming to an end. 10♠️ conjuncts this in Leo (creative expression), is it time you faced up to the lack of creativity in your professional life?

4♠️ in the 9th House highlights the dilemma also, wanting independence but needing the security that your employment brings.

7♠️ sits in opposition to this scenario, seeking comfort and a sense of belonging through friends and organisations (the two "10" cards relevant here indicating this has ended), self-expression being found in the company of like minded people.

Is this the grounding that will be required this year when as predicted everything will speed up and begin to overwhelm?

J♠️ appears indicating foreign travel and soaking up some culture is the way forward.

7♣️ (Mars in Leo) a competitive spirit of play/creativity is placed in the second house of Taurus, highlighting (in support of J♠️) that keeping up with some artistic endeavour will help you to stay grounded.

5❤️ & 6❤️ are interestingly conjunct.

5❤️(Mars in Scorpio) placed in the house of legal battles highlights issues over joint resources or legacies.

Placed next to 6❤️ (Sun in Scorpio) in Scorpio (the House of Endings) tells of possessions and money being exchanged from a legacy/inheritance.

With 5❤️ so close in Libra, this shows a conflict will arise over how these factors are dispensed.

Dealing with Mars in Scorpio leads us to having to confront dark emotions such as greed and jealousy, the Sun in Scorpio highlights an instance of drawing from someone else's possessions for their own good - placed together I assume an inheritance or coming into funds brings some conflict with others who feel they should have been given their fair share?

Sitting loosely opposite 10♦️ in Aries, maybe this situation will usher in a "new" way of communicating with those involved, allowing all to move forward.

[sexwithsophie]

Yes, my darling. You do.

It's wild how even the best of people don't seem to feel worthy of any kind of happiness; let alone the absolute, pure, unadulterated happiness they absolutely deserve. Do you feel this way? If so, let me tell you right now as your mom, I know for certain that you deserve all this and more.

You want to know why? Because I said so. But unfortunately, almost all of us are raised with a tit-for-tat mentality, even though that's untrue and fallacious. You don't have to give anything to be deserving of everything. And still, since escaping this mindset is so much easier said than done, I'll tell you why you are owed happiness, my dearest.

You deserve it because life is so ridiculously hard from the moment we take our first breath to the last. It's struggle and pain and clawing just to reach a baseline of comfort. Every day. Trying to figure out money and food and relationships and shelter and transportation and safety and sanity… every single motherfucking day?!?

THEN throw on top of that all the things that try their best to trip you up on your road to happiness: disability, location, bosses, microagressions, fucking war, assumptions, neurochemistry, miscommunications, politics, dysphoria, and unhappy people, sometimes even parents (not me, of course), who actively work to keep you down in the doldrums with them.

So. You manage to crawl out from under all of that extra bullshit that buffs what is already an insanely difficult existence to enjoy a movie, play a board game, smile at a baby, or appreciate a sunset? Congratulations! You deserve those slices of happiness, because I know how incredibly hard they were to attain. You are owed it.

You've managed to check a few boxes on some of those basic requirements for happiness? Got a new car, found a solid partner, practiced some new tricks from a parenting book, secured a fulfilling job, got your degree, moved into a safe place…? YESSSS!!!! Eat. That. Shit. UP!!! Revel in it!!! And try to celebrate the multitude of other huge happinesses that may have thrummed down to autopilot for you. Because you are due, baby!

Now. If you were brave, fortunate, and lucky enough to be able to find happiness while knowing your true, authentic self? Or better yet, found yourself and living as yourself is what became a new source of happiness for you? Outwardly or inwardly? Loudly or quietly? Well then, my hats off to you even more so, my liege.

That is not a safe thing for everyone to do, and may not even be for you, and yet you've done it. Even if you are the only one who knows. That's a big huge deal, and is what undoubtedly "costs" each of us the most. Hopefully your knowledge of self has amplified the good things in your life, but even if that's still on the horizon for you, or you're having to slough off before you can begin to be filled by your truth, cash in.

Because, you see? You most definitely deserve your happiness… your peace… in exchange for all you may have had to give up or trade in to attain it. Please know that I am so unfathomably, irrevocably, and insanely proud of you!!! Even if all you did was get out of bed this morning, because sometimes the smallest things can be the most taxing depending on what all you're wrestling with at any given time.

In the face of all the things and people who keep levying their tolls on you, please keep being kind. Especially to yourself. You deserve it.

[daphnedauphinoise]

Dear Daphne,

I was wondering if you could advice me on topics or skills I must study before I head to university next year? Apart from the obvious skills required to live by myself. Interpret this and give advice however you so wish, and hope you have a lovely day x

Hello!!

First of all congratulations! I have done quite a few of these kind of posts so I am going to keep things brief...

Your first year is for you to enjoy BUT remember all years count. Your grades in first year aren't terribly important but important nontheless. Make sure you are doing well enough and by that I don't mean barely passing.

Join societies and find one or two that you can see yourself sticking to and stick to them. Building good rapport with that society and its memembers will make it easier for you to get onto the committee later on. I think if you really want to stand out, aim to be the president of your subject society later on.

In taht note, being a student rep for your year is a great way to get to know faculty and know people in your year. I don't really think you can ever know too many people and everything has it's own benefits.

You are going to have and should have stand in friends. 'Stand in friends' are people you are friends for the sake of being friends with, and despite what everyone says they are good to have. During your three-four years you are going to be fast friends with so many people and 90% of them aren' going to stay ( you will also be this for so many people too). One key skill you will need to learn is to differentiate who are your solid friends and who you just want to sit next to in the lecture hall so you are not alone. I am all for deep meaningful friendhsips but you also need people who you are just having a good time with and there is nothing more. Don't underestimate the power of going into a hall of 200 people and having at least 5 different people you can talk to.

There is no universal way of taking notes and you need to find a method that works a) for you b) for your subjuect area c) the teaching style of your professor. This is especially for those doing double degrees in polar subjects (eg. philosophy and maths ). I feel like there is only one note taking style you should use universally and its such a big fat lie. I will probably write another post on this but in short, use the first couple weeks to figure out what style of note taking works for that specific class.

Going back to making friends, stop wasting your time and money at clubs. Going out once a while is great for you and your mental health but if your bank is dry, you are catching something every week and you are barely awake for classes... get a grip. Maybe this is my own prudeness coming in but you are wanting to make the most of your time at uni and being a student you need to be better at striking work/play balance.

Just turn up to classes. There is a galaxy of difference in your understanding between when you were there to listen and process and watching the recordings. I skive lectures sometimes and that sometimes is fine but attendance for tutorials should be a must (again i have first hand experience of not turning up and then it impacting my grade) Far too many people skive and trust me teachers do notice because in our last lec of the year last semetser, a girl got the worst attendance prize... that she wasnt there to get

find an exercise you like and stick with it. This is mainly for your mental health. I used to make myself run outside in winter because I knew it would be good for me. Yeah, its cold and a little tiring but that is a measly exchange for the endorphines you need during exam season.

Other things I feel like you already know. But I will say, do the things you know you should. Keep on top of your notes, have weekly phone calls with your high school friends, eat well, sleep well. Wishing you all the best

D x

[sysmedsaresexist]

This may be overstepping my bounds or you may not want to talk about this on this blog and if so please feel free to just delete this ask but on the chance this is alright here I have a question or two.

In the recent posts about Colin Ross and other professionals you've mentioned your 'professional circle' or your colleagues being therapists and it sounds like you work in the mental health field? If you do I'm just curious if you'd be willing to talk about that at all?

That's rather vague but I've been thinking about going into the mental health field and I'm curious what that might actually look like especially as someone with trauma.

This must be really odd if I've misunderstood what you've said, or uncomfortable if this just isn't something you want to talk about, and either way I know it's not really similar to what you normally post here so I'm sorry. Whether or not you respond though thank you for reading through this. I hope you have a good day.

I don't mind talking about it! I don't particularly enjoy talking about myself, but I have no issue sharing most information like this.

I do not currently work in the mental health field and I have never been licensed.

Like most of us, I'm sure, I was one of those "gifted" kids. I finished high school early with a several year scholarship, and fast tracked through 4 degrees.

My first degree was in social services and counselling. I worked in the field for about a year as a requirement for my education. In Canada, we have satellite schools for "troubled youth", and one was run out of a high school near me, so I counselled and provided support for about 30 students.

However, I was only 18/19 myself, and I was VERY OBVIOUSLY too traumatized to be working in the field. Some of the students were older than I was, and the things I heard and saw, the students that acted out violently that were twice my size...

I wasn't ready. My supervisor at the time, a woman in her 50s, told me, "In a field like this... you can't help others until you've helped yourself."

So I graduated, but switched into law. I wanted to work with those same youth, but maybe from a legal perspective (there were always police and lawyers involved). I finished my legal degree, took two more legal/business management and administration courses, became licensed, and worked for a few years in that field.

I really wasn't happy, though, as a woman and being so young, unless I wanted to start my own business, I was going to continue to face a bunch of condescending, old white men calling me, "high-school," because I don't drive and carry a backpack to and from work.

I work in sales now, making more money than I had ever hoped for, and for a company that is really, really good to its employees. I'm really happy where I ended up, though it was kind of a fluke. I voluntarily relinquished my legal license a couple of years ago because there's zero point in paying $2k a year in upkeep when I'm not going to use it.

Point is, though, I've kept in contact with a number of people in both the legal and sw field. My first therapist and I developed a bit of a weird relationship (not bad) but I was able to go to her on several occasions to talk as colleagues, not just client/therapist. I'm still in touch with her and occasionally reach out for questions. She gave me the info of a couple other specialists, of which I spoke to two of them.

I don't drop these names because it would really narrow down where I am, but on top of Colin Ross and Kymbra Clayton, I've also spoken with Marich, Loewenstein, I've tried to talk to the CTAD clinic, uhhh... Sunshaw is pretty open about her opinions. I'm trying to think of some other big names.

On the second part of this question...

Once you have a handle on your own trauma, you can be very, very successful in the mental health field. You have a unique perspective that can really help others.

It was an amazing experience, and I wish I had been older. I wish I had been through multiple therapists at that point, to see how others behaved. Being in therapy yourself is such an important step that no one talks about.

Trauma fatigue is a real thing that beats people in the field down into nothing. You'll hear every therapist say, "make sure you have your own therapist," and everyone nods their head but never actually goes to therapy. It's not just good for your own mental health, sitting on the other side of that chair can be terrifying and it's important for therapists to remember what that feeling is like, and to see how other clinicians handle clients. What do you like that they do? What do you hate? What are you not going to do with your next client?

You would be shocked to learn how many clinicians out there actually have DID! It's possible and highly rewarding. Just take your time and make sure you're actually ready for it.

There's no age limit on changing careers or going into a new field. Go slow, and take care of yourself first. Then you can be the best resource for others.

I hope that answers both questions <3

[taisoleil]

Rahu, Saturn, Dopamine, Serotonin, and Persistence: Part 1 - Rahu

Snippets are on my site here: https://www.taisoleil.com/articles/2023/8/29/rahu-saturn-dopamine-serotonin-and-persistence

Full 3 part series expanding on Rahu and Saturn in houses can be found exclusively on my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/88358089?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Just a theory I wanna share:

Rahu = dopamine

Saturn = serotonin

Rahu is the short term pleasure that’s addictive like dopamine. Saturn is the long term pleasure that isn’t addictive. It’s serotonin. Serotonin also regulates you. Rahu always wants more. This isn’t to say dopamine nor Rahu is bad! It’s nice to have a nice treat after a long day of work that’ll pay off soon. If Saturn is the planet that controls Rahu and also the planet that wants long term results..it makes it that much easier to do things that stimulate more dopamine than serotonin. This is Saturns biproduct of long term work being very boring and leading you to do more short term pleasures that are more meaningless than meaningful.

This is Saturns biproduct of long term work being very boring and leading you to do more short term pleasures that are more meaningless than meaningful. This is also the loophole because Saturn places obstacles and requires Rahu breaks so you won’t become depressed on a long journey. Low serotonin causes depression. A Saturnian theme. Also serotonin helps bone health. Saturn is the bones 🦴

The goal here is not to erase dopamine, it’s to redirect it. What’s the little things that make you happy?

1H Rahu: Addicted to things that may make you feel good about yourself. Another thing would be being obsessed with things that affirm you. Masking yourself.

2H Rahu: You may have a spending or gambling addiction. You may spend to a point where you wonder where your money is going.

3H Rahu: Social media addiction and chronically online syndrome. This MAY or may not be you. Everyone has this problem to a degree anyway. For you, it may be in a worse case.

4H Rahu: You want relationships and to do nice things, but it seems some of you can’t help being a homebody. It may seem like every time you want to go out, it seems like something keeps you back at home curled up and to yourself.

5H Rahu: Is the type of fun you’re having a good fun or a destructive fun? Enjoying yourself doesn’t always have to be where you’re always maxing out on something.

6H Rahu: Ahh. The workaholic. Are you working because you enjoy it or because you feel like you have to to enjoy other parts of life?

7H Rahu: Addicted to commitments that may or may not be worth your time. Because of time, you stick with it.

8H Rahu: A possible person obsessed with the worst. Make sure you’re not always thinking about the worst case scenario. You may be someone who doesn’t even realize they’re being negative because that’s how you deal with life.

9H Rahu: Wanderlust. Maybe there’s no place like home because you may not feel home much of anywhere.

10H Rahu: I don’t wanna say everyone with this placement loves attention, but some of you may got a knack for public approval, or some sort of mass appreciation.

11H Rahu: You may have those friends that know you have shit to do, but can be distracting intentionally or not.

12H Rahu: If you can’t figure something out immediately, you may settle into whatever you’ve been given, even if it’s scraps. As long as you dont know, you don’t have to be responsible right?

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: Something Entirely Different

Summary: Has Bubby had any luck with photography?

[A/N] Another request that I'm using to springboard into one of my own ideas. I haven't decided what I want Bubby and Benrey doing for jobs yet but I've known for a while I want them to do something with each other. This drabble felt like a good intro into exploring that idea.

~

Photography was just a hobby. Bubby had a camera and sometimes he liked to take pictures of things and people. Not a particular passion, just a bit of fun every now and then. Something he could do and talk about with Benrey since he liked it too and both of them not working at Black Mesa with everyone else gave them a lot of time to hang out together.

But then Gordon had suggested doing it for money to Benrey who’d passed the suggestion on to Bubby. And he’d been toying with it the entire way back to New Mexico. Now that he was back and moved in with Harold, he kind of had to make a decision about whether or not he wanted to give it a go, right? If he wanted his own place and/or to follow through on Benrey’s other suggestion to build his own rocket to space he needed money and thus a job after all.

He sat on the bed and pulled out the album of photos he’d printed because he’d particularity liked them. The first one was the one he’d taken of the Science Team during their trip through the old facility. Several of the other photos were ones Benrey had taken, put in because they’d gone to print their photos together and thus exchanged a few too. Those were of an entirely different vibe to his own pictures, odd angles of odd things, but that was to be expected from him. Even with those padding the number, the album wasn’t even half full. Most of Bubby’s photos were decent at absolute best, a lot were just plain bad.

It was an art from and Bubby was a scientist, not an artist. He hadn’t been made with the thought he’d ever do anything even remotely artistic. A small side hobby was all it was ever supposed to be. Surely he wasn’t good enough to do it for money even if he’d wanted to. So he probably shouldn’t try because he’d fail.

On the other hand though, he was free now. He didn’t have to do anything science related. Anything that didn’t require advanced knowledge he didn’t have or did have but couldn’t reliably fake a college degree for without risking being caught faking it, was on the table as an option. After spending his whole life in the lab doing science stuff, doing something entirely different wasn’t unappealing. And even if he failed, fuck it, who really cared, right? It would mean he could just try something else entirely different.

In fact, what was stopping him from trying a bunch of different things? If photography didn’t work out as a job maybe he could try painting. He’d never held a paintbrush in his life but so what? Maybe he’d make a good bar tender or he could team up with Benrey and become a pair of obnoxious security guards somewhere until they got fired for being too obnoxious.

Closing the photo album, he placed it on the nightstand before pulling out his phone. He quick-dialed Benrey’s number. It rang three times before Benrey picked up. “Yo. What’s up?”

“You wanna start an independent photography company with me? We could sell our stuff as art and like do commission stuff or whatever the fuck it’s called when people pay you to take pictures of their ugly faces. I don’t know how any of it works but I’m sure we could figure it out. I’m the smartest guy in this entire fucking town.” Which actually was saying something considering all the Black Mesa people who’d forcibly moved here.

“Uh… sure. Makes sense, right? ‘Cause everyone else is working together at Black Meas so we should have our own job thing together.”

“Exactly. Come to my place tomorrow after Gordon and Harold have gone to work and we’ll start working on it.” How hard could it be? And even if it was too hard for them, they’d just move onto something else.

[tetrostaffsidereposts]

Chapter 2 November 1 Thread B

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Dr. Toranosuke said that im ugly and I have to fix it because he doesnt like looking at my face can you do something about my grafts

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] ummmmm i can try but idk im not actually super good at makeup i just do a little bit for work also your grafts are rlly shitty so idk if i can totally cover them up you might just have to become a circus freak or something

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] jk about the circus but not about the makeup uhhh i can try?

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] wtf maybe if he didnt want you to have scars he shouldnt have given you such awful skin grafts on your effing face LOL

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Yeah no i dont really get it either but he said to cover them so

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] I dont think my arms and face are that bad honestly most of it is on my back and my legs and my ass and stuff but those are normally covered because clothing

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] not to be rude but if my entire ass got skin grafted i think id kill myself fuhato im not gonna lie to you

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Yeah no I kind of wanted to but Dr Toranosuke said im not allowed so I just came back to work after

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] aww wait no dont kill urself fuhato youre so so cute i didnt mean it :( your ass is probably cute too you look good in dress pants at least? i mean i look at your ass sometimes i think its nice :(

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Thanks that actually really helps my ego a lot

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] LOL GOOD i can try your makeup though idc. im not afraid of scars like DR. TORANOSUKE?? why would you become a doctor who hates scar tissue what a dipshit lol

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] he was getting on suga for his ear thing like??? why are you a doctor if you hate sick people so much wtf lol

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] im gonna have to go buy makeup for you though cuz uhhhh something tells me my foundation will not help you lololol

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Please dont spend money on me anna I can buy it myself and just bring it or I can pay you or something

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] naw its fine ill cover this you cover me all the time dw about it you wont even know what to buy

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Also thank you for being willing to touch me

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] BECAUSE YOURE NOT GROSS omg stop that hes just being a dick seriously youre not gross youre very good looking and cute hes being stupid

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Thank you, sorry for being all weird he just kind of gets in my head sometimes and I kind of miss not looking weird

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] ok but think of this: youre young and handsome and hes old and grey and disgusting so i think hes probably just jealous actually

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] I find that rather impolite.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] Since you two seem to be done speaking, allow me to elaborate on my stance.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] Dr. Daikubara, to be clear, I find you absolutely repulsive to look at. THAT is why I've asked you to cover your hideous facial scars. There's no other reason. I find you ugly, and I don't want to look at you.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] I tried to be polite by going through Dr. Ibano, but clearly you're irritatingly dense and require a more direct approach. I find you genuinely putrid to look at. Either remedy that or make yourself scarce.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] Your most compelling trait is that you are exceptionally attractive to carrion-eating insects. I hope that serves as an adequate point of pride for you. Personally, I find it unimpressive, but perhaps for you, it's somewhat of an accomplishment.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] Dr. Kasuga, the fact that you have maintained a position on this team for this amount of time is leagues beyond my understanding. You are exceptionally stupid. Type with some degree of syntax in the workplace.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] From my understanding, you contribute nothing, and yet continue to spend your entire shift blithering on about nonsense in your private messages and bothering your coworkers. I find it very, very grating.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] The fact that you respect yourself enough to call yourself a doctor while actively doing nothing at all is something I can't seem to grasp. Perhaps now would be a good time to close this tab and begin doing some work.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] Both of you are absolute pestilence embodied. If you understand that, please let me know, so that I can close this thread in a timely manner.

[294553703 / Fuhato Daikubara] Understood, extremely sorry

[762978338 / Anna Kasuga] Understood. Sorry.

[154314147 / Kan Toranosuke] Well now, that's much better, isn't it? You can resume working now. Let's keep these threads a bit more professional in the future.

THREAD CLOSED