#I've... been using it wrong this whole time?

[protectoroffaeries]

I've mentioned this story in various tags before but the whole thing is a little long for that, and relevant enough (I hope) to warrant a rare reply from me.

So I'm a trans man, but I'm also very likely intersex. I know this because as a teenager (16), I started growing a ton of hair everywhere (hirsuitism), and my parents were worried I might have PCOS, though I don't have any other indicators of that. Nor was I complaining about the hirsuitism - I had a beard LONG before I got access to T, and that worked for me. But they explained PCOS to me, and I was like well, I'll do the tests for that because if I do have it, I want to treat it. So I do ALL sorts of really invasive medical testing, during which 1) I develop a complex about how my genitals look because of how the doctor described them (combined with the hirsuitism, this is what makes me think I'm intersex) and 2) I learn I do not have PCOS.

Still, there was a lot of hullabaloo about the hair, especially the facial hair. So, even though I was not having sex and expressed zero desire to start hormonal birth control, I was prescribed it because literally everyone in my life except me was Worried About The Thick Dark Hair On My Face And Body. And like, okay, my parents have their flaws (more on that later), but they did what they thought was best for me, so I was like if they are so worried about this, I will try it.

And it did soften, lighten, and minimize the hair growth! But it also exacerbated my severe anxiety and depression in two separate ways: 1) it intensified what I now know is gender dysphoria, and 2) it literally altered the way my thought patterns function. It's hard to describe, but basically, my mind is very active, very chaotic, and very "loud". I am always thinking about a dozen different things, jumping around, visualizing words and images a lot. When I was on BC, all of that disappeared. It was silent. When I wasn't actively doing something, my brain felt turned off. It was uncanny and uncomfortable for me, and as a creative writer, it made it impossible for me to mentally work on writing projects in the background of day-to-day life.

I knew my parents would not understand either of these things (I never received any mental health care as a minor either, despite desperately needing it since I was a young teen), so I just stopped taking them. Just got rid of them in secret.

(I want to pause and say I am very pro birth control and birth control access. Even though it was bad for me, I know many people who use it treat chronic health conditions of their own, which is not even mentioning the way that being able to have sex without the risk of pregnancy is life-changing for the better. I believe it improves the quality of life for people who have an informed choice and the ability to go on and off it as they so require.)

Now, I have a younger sister who is also trans. She has known she's trans since she was very young. She tried to come out multiple times throughout her preteen and teen years before our parents acknowledged that she was serious. When she was 16, she begged them to let her go on estrogen. And they told her no. Even though the psychiatrist they got her straight up told them they'd be bad parents not to (my sister is still understandably mad about this tactless approach, but I can't say they were wrong).

They said they were worried she would regret it, that it was an adult decision, that she should wait and make it on her own, that they didn't want to be responsible for it if she changed her mind later, etc. etc. And I've always found this argument fascinating because I was like well. You put me on estrogen when I was 16 even though I was neutral to it, and then you created an environment where I felt like I couldn't be honest about how badly it was hurting me. And they have always staunchly maintained that was different. Which it was! My sister had been telling them for like half a decade she was a girl. And I told them I wasn't bothered by the fucking beard.

And so like, circling back to the children's rights and trans rights point - we were both sixteen. It was the same hormone. But the anti-trans fearmongering and parents' rights rule of law made it so that they had the power to choose to hurt us both in order to make us conform to our assigned sexes, even though we directly told them what our concerns were and weren't.

And look, I love my parents, I don't think they're like, demons or anything - I think they were ignorant and extremely scared about how the world would treat their queer children. But I will say, that also, they were not that interested in medical care beyond preventative care. Acute issues were handled at home. Chronic issues weren't treated at all - and I spent a decade self-managing severe, untreated OCD that makes me a bit resentful of that.

Like I'm in my mid-20s now. I've spent my entire adulthood thus far trying to make up for these parents' rights medical assertions that were wrong for me. That I conveyed, in all the ways a kid who loves their parents and is subjected to their control can, were wrong for me. And my sister's in the same boat. It's absolutely the same fight, trans rights and childrens' rights.

in a world where a prominent branch of anti-trans activism focuses on fearmongering about "parents' rights," trans rights and youth rights become inextricable.

trans kids deserve to be called the right pronouns and the right name by schools and doctor's offices, regardless of "parental consent." trans kids deserve to undergo the right puberty at the same time as their cis peers, regardless of "parental consent."

the very concept of "parents' rights" is a smokescreen that enables the abuse and dehumanization of children by adults. this is bad for cis kids, too.

[m4mmonthebest]

Cam's Jealousy

Once your friend leaves, you decide to first clean up the mess Cam made. You wonder what had gotten into him to even do that in the first place.

After tidying everything up, you decide to put on the Dateviators.

You find yourself with a crossed arm Cam, who's face is turned to not look at your face, instead looking somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"Hi Cam.

"Hi."

"Everything good?"

"Yup."

"...Are you sure?"

"...Yup."

"Can you look at me while you say it?"

He stays still and slowly turns his head towards you. His eyes then follow, although two seconds later he avoids your gaze again, an embarrassed blush coating his face slightly.

"...Can you look at me without looking away."

You can see a big pout, which you find extremely cute.

"..."

"Did you get jealous?"

Cam's eyes grow big and his blush deepens. He now looks at you directly, eyebrows furrowed.

"Why would I be jealous? No one can compare to me."

Bullshit. Obvious bullshit. Not the message in itself, he's perfect in all his trashy glory in your eyes. But you can sense the small quiver on his voice and on his pouty lip.

"You know it's okay to be jealous, right?"

His shoulder slump, and once again he looks away.

"Whatever. What do you want me to say? That it made me really jealous? That it makes me insecure seeing you with other people thinking you're just gonna use me and dump me? You know I'm not good with this emotion bullshit. I've never been, that's probably not gonna change."

"But I've dated other objects in the house and... you didn't seem worried."

"I'm very good at keeping things inside me. I'm a goddamn trashcan. And anyway, it's not the same."

"How?"

"... She's human." And for a brief moment you can see real sadness in his eyes. "...and I'm not."

You get closer to Cam and he sees to try and get as smaller as possible. But you don't let him, enveloping him in a warm hug.

"I don't care about that..."

"...Maybe you should. I- I can't be there for you. I'm just a trashcan. Don't get me wrong, love me. Love being a trashcan. Just- ugh. Whatever."

You kiss his cheek and rub circles on his hand with your thumb. You smell his hair. Smells like trash. You've gotten used to it though, and thanks to your habits it wasn't a horrible smell.

"Idiot. I don't even smell good."

"I don't care. It's your smell."

You stay like that for a while, with Cam positioned between your legs, back to your chest.

He lays his head on your chest. He seems less upset now, but not less pensive. He never considered himself an insecure person. I mean, he knew he looked great. He knew other people thought so too. Never had any issues being a trashcan, he loves being dirty. So he doesn't understand what he's feeling.

Except....he does. He has felt that before, and without thinking he utters:

"Do you love me?"

Fuck. He probably shouldn't have said that. His whole body is begging him to run away but all he does is close his eyes.

"...I do."

You immediately get he's not entirely content with the answer.

"Why do you ask?"

He brings your arms closer to him. You're now hugging him with your full body, legs included, as he rests his head on your shoulder. He sighs.

"I dunno."

You remain quiet, and he continues.

"Just. Uh. When I used to date before it was obvious they just liked me because I was handsome. Don't get me wrong, I am very handsome." He chuckles, not with much energy. "But...then the more time they spent with me they just...started to get tired of me? I don't know. They'd call me dirty, or just...mean things. Not sure what they expected considering I'm a trashcan. Doesn't make much sense to me."

"Fuck- I'm rambling-"

You kiss his knuckles, and while you can't see his face too well you feel the heat emanating from it, as the tip of his ears turn red.

"You're not. It's okay."

"Whatever. I just wanted to know if you...ugh. you know. Actually like me or do you just think I'm pretty."

He doesn't do it on purpose. But you can feel his body stiffing waiting for a response.

"...I like a lot of things about you. Hmmm....for example..."

You pass your hands through his tangled hair, making sure to detangle it softly.

"I really like your soft voice. And I really like how awkward you can get when I flirt with you and you don't have a response. Hmmm....I like how much you like being yourself, how you don't let anyone tell you you're less just for being who you are. I like...when you come up with sneaky stuff to say. Or when you do references even when I don't understand them. How you're so intelligent and interesting... how-"

"Okay you can stop-"

If you could look at his face you could tell he's smiling, but also incredibly embarrassed.

"... how you moan my name."

He almost lets out a whine. Almost. He catches himself last second biting his lip.

"But yeah. I like a lot of stuff about you."

"I love you."

You stay like that for a while longer, although you feel your Dateviators begining to turn off.

"Shit. Goodnight Cam."

He gives you a small hug.

"I do too."

"Huh?"

"I love you too."

The dateviators turn off. Leaving you in the kitchen looking at your trashcan with a blushed face. You kiss the cold metal. It heats up under your lips.

You hope Cam really understood how much you appreciate him.

[ruleroftheimps]

Kinda felt like doing a speed run of my opinion on Marvel characters + some fandom controversies I've seen (Including things I've seen most mainstream fans love that are also things more niche fans HATE) w/ zero context for any of them. I might expand more on this later, but eh, whatever. Kinda curious to see if people agree sooo. Tell me lol. But here we go ig.

And yes I'm aware I'm a bit late but whatever. (I've been watching the MCU for YEARS I'm just late to joining the fandom)

Loki needed a hug and was a victim as well as a villain.

Stark and Steve were both right; but Steve kept a secret he shouldn't have and was wrong for that.

Tony trying to kill Bucky was understandable but not excusable.

Mobius and the TVA hurt others bc they'd been used and abused.

She-Hulk sucks as a character.

So does Captain Marvel.

Yelena and Kate were an amazing pass down of legacy.

Bucky shouldn't be a politician.

Sam's not a bad Captain America- he IS a bad friend.

Captain America's as a whole seem to have a trend of being bad friends to Bucky when it matters most.

Steve should have died in Endgame, not gone back in time.

Sylki was a cool ship in theory, horrible in practice, and Sylvie had no gd character arc.

Odin's an asshole.

Thor is an asshole BECAUSE Odin raised him that way.

Loki and Hela too tbh.

Frigga is a B parent at BEST.

Loki and Thor need writers who actually watched the past movies/shows and know their damn arcs (All of the characters do tbh, but these two have it. So bad.)

Clint got done dirty by the writers/plot lines and so did Bruce. (They/their arcs got forgotten/never existed, it felt like.)

Bucky got done SO dirty he deserves his own point.

Ditto for Loki.

And Loki's asexual/non-divergent fight me. (Pure wishful thinking, but still)

[ofnailbatsandaxefives]

The first thing to take into account when considering the song I Am the One and the layers of meaning behind it is to talk about where in the musical it comes in. There’s a couple groupings of songs within the musical that come one right after another and you can’t acknowledge one without acknowledging the other because they feed into each other. Just as another example we see it later in the musical with 'I Dreamed a Dance' and 'There’s a World.' You could say that 'I’ve Been' can be included in with those two, but that one is more of an effect of those two songs rather than a continuation (meaning it comes after those songs, but isn’t a continuation of them as in not a continuation of the same scene. I hope that makes sense)

Anyways, 'I Am the One' comes in the show after it’s been revealed to the audience that, unlike Sam Reich, the son has not been here the whole time. Moreso it’s an immediate follow up/response to the previous song 'You Don’t Know' which is sung by Diana at Dan. Please note my use of the term AT is purposeful. This song is not to Dan it is AT him. During this song Diana expresses that she knows that Dan doesn’t know what she’s going through. In a way she’s correct. When it comes to the mental illness that she has Dan doesn’t know what that is like for her. There’s also a secondary meaning for this “you don’t know” expression in this song and it’s that because Dan doesn’t express grief (even to the point of not acknowledging and trying to repress it) in the same way that she does that he is somehow not hurting. If it’s not showing outwardly then it must not exist, right? “You say that you’re hurting it sure doesn’t show” 

Okay now that we’ve got our set up actually onto “I Am the One.” Since the primary focus of this is to analyze the Dan and Gabe of it all, I won’t be going as much into detail with the first verse and chorus. 

In the first line of the song Dan asks Diana “Can you tell me, what it is you're afraid of? And can you tell me why I’m afraid it’s me?” This is Dan, after Diana tells him in the previous song that he doesn’t know what it’s like for her, reaching out and asking because he wants to understand or at least try to. From his perspective things had been going good, and questions “how could something go wrong that I can’t see?” This is a sentiment that is thematically echoed later on in the production during ‘I’ve Been.’ (click here for my analysis post of I've Been) Dan continues on expressing that he’s holding on and won’t let go. To what? Diana? Their relationship? Of what it was? The idea of what it could be? We hit the first chorus and Dan tells Diana that he is the one that’s been here with her through it all, and this is a core part of his being. If Diana questions that he doesn’t ‘give a damn” then she doesn’t know him. 

It’s in the second verse of the song that we finally see Gabe come in. It’s important to remember that throughout the rest of the song Dan’s lines continue to be directed towards Diana while Gabe’s are majority directed at Dan. 

Now, before I go any further I want to establish that during this song I believe that Gabe is in a double role as both Dan’s grief as well as Diana’s hallucination this is why there’s moments in the song we see Gabe directly singing to Diana and the two have various forms of physical contact: the hug, Gabe kissing the top of her head, etc.

Because this is an analysis on the Gabe/Dan’s grief within the song I’m going to pretty much focus on the lyrics sung by Gabe in the song with some of Dan’s thrown in here and there when relevant. Also note that throughout the rest of the song many of Gabe’s lines are inserted between Dan’s, so while there are some instances I might go line by line, for a majority I might group sections of lines together just to make things easier to follow in the analysis. 

From here forward Bold = Dan and Italics = Gabe

While Dan is still speaking to Diana, Gabe comes back into the scene, having disappeared at the tail end of 'It’s Gonna Be Good' and just before the reveal. 

Hey, Dad it’s me Why can’t you see?  I wonder why?

“Hey Dad, it’s me.” This is the first thing Gabe, as the embodiment of Dan’s grief, has said to him in the show. I’m specifically meaning verbally since we get him giving the little wave during Just Another Day as well as the “it only hurts when I’m here” which is about Dan and not to him. We also have the moment in 'It’s Gonna Be Good' where Gabe corrects Dan “This must be Harry.” “It’s Henry.” However, due to this being before the reveal I view it more as Diana’s ‘Gabe.’ like it’s her mind actually correcting Dan in this moment and just comes out via Gabe. 

Dan has never truly grieved the loss of his son, but instead had managed to repress his grief and put his focus on other things. The most obvious one being trying to help Diana. The moment when Diana comes out with the birthday cake at dinner it all comes flooding back. This isn’t Gabe physically coming in and wondering why his father can’t see him (reminder he’s not a ghost), it’s Dan’s grief for the loss of his son going ‘hey, remember me? I know you haven’t acknowledged me, but I’m still here. You can’t get rid of me by ignoring me’

Are you waiting? Are you wishing? Are you wanting all that she can’t give?

Now this section of lyrics in particular I think can be viewed as either coming from Diana or Dan’s Gabe or even both

If we look at it as Diana’s Gabe it can represent Diana’s frustrations of feeling like maybe Dan is wanting things from her that just can’t give or do or be anymore. That he is still waiting and wishing for the wife he had before to come back. 

If we look at it as Dan's, this is where I believe the first bit of Gabe representing Dan’s guilt in addition to his grief comes in (I mean after all guilt and grief can often go hand in hand.) He’s asking himself if what he’s asking for is too much? Maybe even if it’s selfish to wait and wish and want for these things from her? Even if, from the context of this song, it’s the desire for her to talk to him and let him in and possibly even acknowledge/ understand that he’s been there for her? *GASP* Dan wanting Diana to acknowledge that he’s been there while Dan’s grief is trying to get him to acknowledge its presence.

I feel it’s also important to note that this is the first time we hear and see a more antagonistic approach from ‘Gabe’ to Dan. He really starts to get up in his face, and the lines are delivered in a way that feels like Dan is being taunted by his grief. There’s a sort of underlying feel of this taunt from the moment Gabe enters, but it’s really amped up here due to the physical proximity of Gabe to Dan.

Are you hurting? Are you healing? Are you hoping for a life to live?

Dan has moved downstage and away from ‘Gabe’ at this point in the song, but his grief follows. It doesn’t follow him directly and while the delivery is still rather direct there isn’t as much of that taunting feel as before. Perhaps the physical difference in the staging of this part also aids in this. As with the prior questions these are likely things that Dan has asked himself. Maybe even still does. Maybe there’s even some self doubt when it comes to some. Are you hurting? Yes, but then again maybe after Diana tells him that ‘he doesn’t know’ he’s not quite sure anymore. He’s second guessing himself, are you REALLY hurting? Are you healing? Well, no he’s not healing, but there’s no time for that. There’s never been time for that. There are other things, more important things, in his mind, that need to take priority. His own healing has been sat on the backburner for nearly 18 years. 

During this part of the song Dan’s lyrics (that the above ones are sung in between) are 

Are you bleeding? Are you bruised? Are you broken?

We see Gabe cross towards Dan after ‘are you hoping for a life to live?’ and in this next moment as he crosses we here Dan ask Diana 

Does it help you to know that so am I?

This is in regards to the above questions he asks her and an attempt to try and connect and let her know that she’s not alone. That those things that she feels he feels them too. 

On the last bit of this line we here Gabe come in with 

Well, so am I.

This is a response to his previous line of ��Are you hoping for a life to live?’ This isn’t Gabe, as in Gabe the son, telling his dad that he hoped for a life to live. This is Dan’s grief telling him that it is something that needs to be lived and not ignored. After all, grief isn’t something that ever goes away, it might lessen as time goes by, but you still live with it. 

In these next moments we have Dan desperately asking Diana what to do and who to be? And while Diana still doesn’t answer him, Gabe does.

Look at me Look at me

Acknowledge your grief. Acknowledge your pain. 

And you’ll see…

During this chorus it’s still mostly sung by Dan to Diana “I am the one who’ll hold you.” “I am the one who’ll stay”, however after each line we hear Gabe sing ‘I am’ towards Dan. as well as joining in at the same time such as singing “I won’t walk away” as Dan sings “(I am the one) who won’t walk away.” It’s at “I won’t walk away” that we see Gabe walk over to Diana and interact with her for the first time in the song. Up until this point there have been a few glances in her direction, but for the most part it’s been one-sided interactions with Dan. The chorus continues on and this time after Dan sings “I am the one who’ll hear you” Gabe’s “I am” is directed towards Diana, and when he sings “You don’t give a damn” to Dan he turns around, standing between the two as if shielding her from Dan. At this moment I think it’s more than obvious that this is Diana’s Gabe. Her hallucination of him that she’s found comfort and safety in and can’t let go of. 

The main bit of the chorus finishes off with Dan telling Diana “but I know who you know who I am” while Gabe comes in at the “who I am”, before leading into the short repetition of “that’s who I am” “who I am” and we see as Dan slowly and cautiously moves his hand to reach out to Diana Gabe watches as the hand gets closer and closer and pulls back, stepping away from both Dan and Diana before it can touch him. He even shakes his hand in a way that someone might in a gesture of being uncomfortable. Now this could still be interpreted as Diana’s Gabe and her feeling uncomfortable and closed off from Dan, not wanting to touch him.

However, I think another interpretation for it could just as easily be that it’s once again Dan’s grief and while all of this could have potentially lead to a moment of talking to his wife and connecting with her through the grief of their son, Dan instead pushes that grief to the side and away. Just as there is vulnerability in addressing grief there can also sometimes be a un-comfortability to it too and that isn't something Dan is ready to touch yet.

It’s in this next part of the song where Diana starts to join in on it.

Cause I’m holding on ( you say you hurt like ) And I won’t let go

Dan repeats his line from the lead into the first chorus, Gabe taking the “and I won’t let go” this time as he moves closer to the two again, his eyes on Dan the entire time. This is the first, but not the last time, Dan’s grief tells him he won’t let go. Which once again this could also be a double moment of it also being Diana’s Gabe and that she’s not ready to let go of him, or that her own grief and need for her son won’t allow her to.

(You say that you know) Yeah I thought you should know

Something that I found interesting is that from the point of Dan and Gabe both singing “Yeah I thought you should know” their body language starts to mirror each other even though Gabe is standing and Dan is still on the ground. Both of their heads go down and this is furthered when Diana’s voice in the song gets stronger and she declares “You don’t know!” as she gets up and picks the chair up, both Dan and Gabe move back at the same time in a very similar fashion. It’s a little hard to catch in the pro shot because of the different angles, and it’s much more noticeable in a wide shot. 

This is from the off west end production (credit to @callmelasagna for the video this is from)

Just as she did during “You Don’t Know” Diana continues to tell Dan that she knows he doesn’t understand even repeating the sentiment that even though he says he’s hurting that he really isn’t. During all this Dan and Gabe both simultaneously repeat the lines from the first chorus “I am the one who knows you. I am the one who cares. I am the one who’s always been there” This section continues on with Dan and Gabe still both singing the same lyrics together, this time “I am the one who needs you” and “and if you think that I just don’t give a damn”

To get it out of the way I am going to acknowledge that from this point on this, once again, could be interpreted as this being Diana’s Gabe. That while Dan is telling her he’s been the one that’s been there, this version, her version, of Gabe is telling her the exact same thing, and to her Gabe has been the one that’s been there, and is the one that needs her.

While for most of this part of the song both Dan and Gabe are looking at Diana as they sing, there is a moment where Gabe quickly looks at Dan. In addition to that there’s another moment where their physical movements match each other.

Watching I can’t help but view this as both Dan and his grief desperately begging for Diana to see and understand them and that they need her. That even if Dan hasn’t acknowledged it himself that his grief and pain is just as real as hers is and it is there and it is screaming for her to recognize it as such. This being another thing that is echoed later on in 'I’ve Been' “and all my fears just sit inside me screaming to be heard” 

As it gets near the end of the song Dan finishes off what is the repeat of the end of the first chorus “You just don’t know who I am” as Diana starts to walk away from him and we see Gabe move away as well, in the same direction as Diana. He moves quickly, even running for a moment, til he hits a physical point where he can’t anymore and then turns back to watch as Dan and Diana continue to both sing three words from their respective songs that sum them up “You don’t know” “Who I am” before Gabe ends the song with “You just don’t know who I am” as he takes a few steps and directs these words at Dan. 

Once again Dan has shut himself off from his grief, driven it back down, and it won’t be until Dan faces it that he will truly ‘know’ his grief that he’s been avoiding all these years

[atsa-star-wars]

Hard agree with OP. (I commented under my main, @alexthespaceace.) Here are some of my favorite comments and/or exchanges in case the comments to this post blow up and makes these ones harder to refer back to.

(It'd be nice if there'd been more to the Anakin/Padme relationship than being necessary to make Luke and Leia. As the Puzzle in a Thunderstorm guys often say in early "God Awful Movies" podcast episodes, "You're the movie!" The Powers That Be could've made a non-toxic relationship, but that wouldn't have been good cinema or shown what a shitty person Anakin grew up to be.)

===

jedi-enthusiast Original Poster @askteamgrey Relationships do not necessarily equal attachment.

Relationships are just having feelings for someone and forming a bond with them---whether those are familial, platonic, or romantic.

Attachment, as I've already outlined above, is being unable or unwilling to let someone go, no matter what that might mean for you or them, because you don't want to go through life without them.

They’re two separate things that have the ability to intersect.

ladystonedwolf only seen the movies, but anakin was told by a room full of adults when he was a kid that missing his mother was dangerous. that environment would emotionally stunt any kids ability to healthily process attachments and fears of loss

Avatar alexthespaceace That room full of adults thought he was too old and too prone to attachment (read: selfishness and obsession) to be fit for Jedi training, and Episodes II and III proved those adults right.

fai-gensou Pretty sure this whole argument about attachment wouldn’t be happening if the word obsession was used. Because Anakin didn’t love Padme; he was obsessed with her. You don’t care if your obsessions and your actions to keep it harm you or everyone around you

batidodehuevo I think you are wrong. Anakin didn't turn to the dark side because of his attachment to Pade, it was because he wanted to possess her. In the original triology they already prove that there is nothing wrong with being attached to others. I also miss that Anakin is acting out for Padme because the last time he had a dream his mother died and when he went to Yoda to talk about it he literally told him to let go because people die and there is nothing to do about!

alexthespaceace Yoda doesn't have all the details, and part of the Jedi religion, which borrows heavily from Buddhism, is accepting inevitabilities, like death, even the death of a loved one.

jedi-enthusiast Original Poster @batidodehuevo buddy, attachment IS wanting to possess someone—it’s about not wanting to ever let them go and being willing to do anything, no matter how heinous, just so you won’t have to. Attachment doesn’t mean love and the OT still goes along with Lucas’s message that attachment is bad.

And Anakin literally didn’t tell Yoda anything about Padme dying or a vision, he just said “i’m having dreams of someone close to me dying” (and Yoda even had to badger him to learn that much)—which is-

jedi-enthusiast Original Poster @batidodehuevo -pretty standard for a nightmare and very likely to happen in war. Not to mention that literally no one knew about Anakin’s visions of his mother and that they came true except Padme! Obi-Wan thought Anakin was having dreams and didn’t know what they were about, and Anakin never told him anything else! No one else knew!

So Yoda basically told Anakin that it’s better to celebrate the life someone lived and appreciate the time you had with them rather than being sad and angry-

Avatar jedi-enthusiast Original Poster @batidodehuevo -about not getting more time with them, albeit in typical Yoda-speak. Which is literally advice given in grief counseling. Not to mention that Yoda can’t read Anakin’s mind, so he can only give vague advice to a vague statement.

What else would you have had him do?

clairaworlds Also Anakin constantly undermines her autonomy in tcw. It bothers me so much. She's such a badass in that show and Anakin spends 100% of his time with her telling her not to do stuff she's fully capable of doing or dismissing her work in the senate as not as important as his work in the fighting. It's made me irrationally upset since I first watched the show at like 10

Ngl I think a lot of people, when they talk about Jedi and attachments and how "the Jedi should be allowed to have them," just plain ignore the single most important show of attachment in all of Star Wars.

Padme and Anakin.

Obviously people bring them up 24/7 when they want to bash the Jedi or pretend that Anidala is the epitome of a "healthy relationship" (lmao), but when it comes to the actual point of how their relationship is framed and how it highlights how attachment works/what it does---suddenly all the discussion around Anakin and Padme disappears!

Anakin's attachment to Padme and his unwillingness to let her go is LITERALLY what ends up killing her!!!

He has dreams of her dying, becomes convinced that those dreams are what's gonna happen (despite the unreliable nature of visions), and---instead of actually telling anyone anything in enough detail so they could actually help---he:

- Starts working with a Sith Lord

- Massacres a Temple full of children, the elderly, the injured, etc. and the people who were caring for them

- Helps commit a genocide

- Overthrows democracy

And then, once Padme won't support him vying for them to control the galaxy, he becomes convinced that she's betrayed him and attempts to kill her---then, later on, because of Anakin's actions Padme dies.

----------

THAT is what attachment is and what it does.

Attachment is being unable, unwilling, to let someone go, no matter what that might mean for you or them, because you don't want to go through life without them---and the people you try to hold onto so tight ultimately get crushed in your grip because of it.

Think of it like holding someone's hand.

Non-attachment would be, when the other person wants to stop, letting them slip away and being happy with what you had while you had it---being content whether they choose to stay by your side or run off to go do something else.

Attachment would be, when the other person tries to let go, tightening your grip or grabbing their wrist---hurting them because you don't want there to even be a chance that you would be without them.

----------

So no, the Jedi were not wrong to teach non-attachment and they should not have "changed their philosophies so they were allowed to have attachments" like some people have suggested, because attachment is unhealthy and selfish and all it does is end up hurting those around you.

[fazfuri]

STAR FALLS REVIEW?

Good morning!

Okay, in response to the previous question, I think it’s finally time to be completely honest about something I’ve been thinking since last year (ever since I first discovered ur AU)

From the very first images and fragments u shared, I was instantly drawn to how u handle the narrative. I've noticed u choose to tell the story through multiple timelines (sometimes past, sometimes present) and honestly (as an average writer myself?), I’d say that’s an excellent technique.

Revealing details little by little, without dumping everything at once, not only keeps the interest alive, but also deepens the mystery of the lore, letting us theorize, analyze, and connect with what ur telling. A lot of us genuinely appreciate that.

So that’s why, when I see certain comments asking for -“more BillFord”- or wondering why Brutus and Deity have so much focus (some even calling Deity just “ur OC” or etc, trying to push the ship), I just want to say openly , at least for me the way u’re developing this story is PERFECT as it is.

I also thought at first that the plot would be something cliché and simple. When I saw the now-famous reference in the book (the one with Bill and the king’s page ). I really thought that would be the whole point. Something really similar to canon, except here Bill’s a god and seemingly his opposite.

But now, wow… I was SO wrong. -The deal? The backstory with the king? That they were lovers? That maybe Brutus is connected to Ford… or actually is him??

Yeah, that’s literally what I thought when I found this AU last year!. But everything u’ve built since then makes it crystal clear this story goes way beyond that.And now that u confirmed that book scene isn’t even canon? I’m just even more intrigued, amazed… and honestly so hyped for what’s coming next. That’s why I wanna ask (or maybe beg a little) that u keep going at ur own pace. It doesn’t matter if u take breaks, try out new styles, or drop random content here and there. What really matters is that u keep developing it ur way, (bc that personal touch is exactly what gives ur AU so much value).The visual storytelling u use (without needing tons of dialogue) is so powerful that we can understand everything clearly.

That’s honestly incredible. Ik everyone has different tastes, but if u feel good with ur current style, then pls keep going! And if one day u wanna change it (in terms of art, tone, whatever), that’s totally valid too. This is ur creation, ur space, ur universe ,(we’re the ones who should adapt to it). It’s okay to take suggestions, but it’s also okay to ignore them if they don’t align with u. As for me, I’m constantly coming up with new theories (maybe someday I’ll be brave enough to share them once they make more sense, lol).

Idk if this message counts as a question, maybe it’s more of a thought. (Edit: Let’s call it a review instead.) I just hope it doesn’t come across the wrong way, (bc I seriously re-read and correct every single word I send u, tbh). I’m very observant and detail-oriented, and always try to be respectful of ur work.I never thought I’d find myself analyzing a story or artwork so deeply… but ur art changed that.

Nothing here is something u just look at once each panel, each expression, every atmosphere holds so much more than what’s on the surface.And this mix of angst, mystery, occasional humor, and a nostalgic yet serious plot? That’s exactly what I’m drawn to.

After all, even if it’s a Gravity Falls AU, it doesn’t have to copy canon, right?Everything will come in due time. For now, I just wanna enjoy the story as it unfolds. (Though if u can, pls drag it out as long as possible, it’s SO addictive.)

Anyway, to wrap this up:

You are amazing. Thank u for creating something this special. (The best gift a random person can get on her bday is ur content, no joke.) ✍️

(And well… I might come back with a fully developed theory soon, hehe.)

CRYING??? I really thought it's gonna be a whole criticism and i was fully prepared to take it but i couldnt be more wrong. Flattered isnt even the word im looking for but I'm so glad people enjoyed this mess of an AU i created i rly appreciate this review Thank you so much 🥺

[alexanderwales]

Movie Review: Superman (2025)

I generally like to take notes, if I'm planning to review something, and I also like to be able to spot check stuff and make sure I didn't read a scene wrong and can get names and stuff correct. Not as much of an option here, so these are my "just out of the theater" thoughts.

Spoilers follow.

One of the things that I've liked about James Gunn's other superhero movies is that he feels free to be silly with it, to bring in 80th percentile weird things from the comics, and then resists the urge to comment on it too much. He keeps "holy cow, a talking raccoon!" dialog to a minimum, he doesn't feel like he's mildly ashamed to be making a superhero movie, he's strategic in his use of irony and the ways in which he lets a joke undercut a moment ... I'm a fan, overall.

Gunn's Superman frontloads a bunch of the weirder stuff. We've got Krypto, the crystalline Fortress of Solitude, a bunch of robots, we're not doing Man of Steel, we're not sanding off the canon cruft that's been built up over time. This is a Superman three years into his career, already established, already in a relationship with Lois Lane who knows his secret, taking a lot of stuff relatively for granted.

One of the highlights of the movie comes early on, where Lois is interviewing Clark-as-Superman, it's a chance for characterization and exposition that genuinely gets to a lot of the relationship between these characters and who they are in this movie. Clark is naïve, he's idealistic, he's hopeful, he's trying to do his best ... and while I liked this, it was also the place where the movie started to lose me a bit.

The background, told via text-on-screen in the opening and then expounded on via this conversation, is that three weeks ago Superman intervened in military action between Boravia and Jarhanpur. We don't get to see any of that military intervention, but we hear about it through Superman's conversation with Lois, and apparently Superman destroyed some tanks and planes, then abducted the president of Boravia, pressed him up against a cactus, and made some threats.

I ... don't really understand why Superman did this, and nothing through the film really enlightened this for me. Like, yes, war is bad, Superman wants to save innocent people. But this is apparently the first time that Superman has done anything like this in his three years as Superman, and as Lois pointed out, it seems that no one knew that he was going to do it. He didn't talk to the President of the United States, the State Department, and it seems like he didn't talk to Lois, or ... maybe didn't listen to her? (This is one of those places I wish I could spot-watch to see exactly what the text and subtext is.) And the weird thing about the conversation is that Lois insinuates that Jarhanpur might be ruled by their own despot, or that this is one reading of the geopolitical situation? But then later in the movie, we're shown peasants and children standing in the way of Boravian forces with no military of their own, so like, what the fuck are you talking about there Lois? And there's a single location that's being used as a stand-in for the Boravia/Jarhanpur conflict, and eventually the Justice Gang comes in to intervene later in the movie, so like ... was this a clear case of the United States soft-sanctioning a clearly unjust war, and Lois was duped? Or why the hell did Clark/Superman act with such surety? Why didn't he talk with anyone and use his soft power first? Surely saying "hey, if it looks like this war is going ahead, I'm going to stop it" would be step one, rather than hopping right to destroying tanks and planes. Not in terms of superhero genre logic, but in terms of superhero genre logic, you're not supposed to unilaterally stop a war and then have people get pissed about it.

Anyway, it turns out that the whole Boravia/Jarhanpur conflict was created by Lex Luthor, who wanted half of the Jarhanpur land for himself to create some kind of technocratic sovereign state and also get all their petroleum to make some money, and it really seems pretty stupid to me for a number of reasons, but not necessarily in such a way that it sticks in my craw.

One of the things that does stick in my craw is that the final villain is Ultraman, who turns out to be a Superman clone, which makes the whole final battle pretty bland.

I guess I had the sense early on that this movie was "about" hope vs. cynicism, with Lex Luthor as the embodiment of cynicism. In this reading, the omnipresence of cameras and social media on Luthor's side is a part of it. Creating a bland Superman clone is a part of it, and with a bit of a stretch, this represents other representations of Superman, the dark and cynical ones. Luthor "knows all of Superman's moves", has seen every fight he's ever done, can call every shot: he's a fanboy, in a sense. Luthor has a whole speech about how he's driven by envy, and yeah, sure.

And I do think this kind of works in the end, because the thing that turns the tide is Krypto the goofy super dog. So in a reading where this movie is about the cultural concept of Superman ... yeah, "dark Superman" is beaten and thrown into a black hole by the bright and colorful, the charmingly goofy.

But on the other hand, it's also just Superman and a clone of Superman punching each other for a pretty long time, and I don't know, I started feeling like it was the end to one of the bad Marvel movies. I was watching the spectacle and feeling a bit of boredom creep in. If it was trying to be commentary, I wanted it more incisive.

One other thing that stood out to me, and it was earlier in the movie, I'm going non-chronological now, sorry: it's revealed that Superman's parents actually sent him to conquer the planet and have a secret harem. Superman's reputation is tarnished, everyone instantly believes it. It's extremely reminiscent of the Viltrumite storyline in Invincible, and played very straight, in a way that does character assassination of Jor-El ... and I think part of the point here, aside from putting Superman in a low moment, is that this is a reaction to the darkness that other continuities have had, a way for Superman to say "wait, that's not me". But I'm less sure on this, I think, it's just my personal reading here.

It did also make me think of Superman as a stand-in for America, and there was something in how Superman was betrayed by these parents he thought he knew that felt like ... a kid who has bought into American propaganda his whole life and then learns about The Bad Shit, and says "wait, no, I believe in the good stuff, the vision, not The Bad Shit" and then has to do some identity reconstruction or something. (If we're reading Superman himself as a stand-in for America, then the military intervention is, uh ... you know. Not historically a great thing for America to be doing! Even/especially when it seems to America like a slam dunk!)

So I don't know, I enjoyed it overall, it was at least unique and felt like it was trying some things. There were several standout scenes that I'm not mentioning here and things that I hadn't seen in superhero movies before, and I'll definitely go see the next one.

[saffronish]

Just yesterday I started thinking about Castiel in season 12 and how certain mannerisms of his seem to have changed since season 11, or, more specifically, since he was possessed by Lucifer.

One particular scene from 12x03 really made this suddenly very obvious to me. Take a look at Cas' reaction to finding out that Crowley had tried to team up with Rowena to hunt Lucifer before going to Castiel himself.

Castiel outright mocks Crowley and makes a face that reminded me so much of Lucifer that for one split second I forgot that Castiel wasn't possessed anymore

Compare with this scene^ Is it just me or is this a very Lucifer thing to do?

Here're some more examples that stood out to me:

^ This last one here is really interesting, actually... The whole leaning on the windowsill, the rather patronizing look, chewing his tongue in thought

The whole episode in itself is littered with bits and pieces of a rather more sarcastic Castiel than usual (the whole season, even). We can frequently see him rolling his eyes at Crowley... which, yes, understandable... it's Crowley, but I feel like Cas didn't act around Crowley like this before... or with anyone for that matter except for a few rare occasions.

It's all very Lucifer-esque.

Fast forward to episode 12x07 when we see Castiel again; he very clearly does one thing that is, first of all, extremely funny but also not very Castiel-ish, if you get what I mean.

He complains about Crowley constantly talking, which is, again, understandable, but the way he does it...

Now, I'm not trying to say that Cas is never sarcastic or bitchy ("what part of 'I don't know' escapes your understanding?" "my 'people skills' are 'rusty.' Pardon me but I've spent the last 'year' as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent." "you think I came because you called?") it's just that in this particular season the way he acts when frustrated or pissed off sometimes reminds me of how Lucifer acted in season 11. It's really very subtle but it's undeniably there.

(Also, I will not be mentioning ep 12x10 even though we get peak Castiel sarcasm in that one. The reason for this is because that whole episode just feels like Cas rather then unconscious remnants of Lucifer, especially since he was also in a fight with Dean at the time and that would of course affect his behavior.)

So skipping that we move on to 12x19 and these reactions

^and this smile??? Context for those who don't remember: this is when Cas placed his hand on Kelly's belly and felt Jack for the first time... take from that what you will (Jack biologically being Lucifer's son and all). Don't get me wrong, this is a really innocent smile of an angel feeling the grace of an unborn Nephilim for the first time... it's incredibly sweet. But the half smile reminds me of this

...and both (especially the first one) remind me so much of these

Same side for the half smile (or smirk in Lucifer's case). Poor guy probably doesn't even realize he's doing it which just makes all of this so much more intriguing. Reminds me of how Nick Vaught (Lucifer's more recognizable vessel) snapped his fingers at Castiel to try and kill him in season 14 after getting angry. It was a habit for him to do so, and he regretted it immediately afterwards... but he still did it.

So I'm guessing that being possessed by Lucifer affected Cas similarly. Apparently some of Lucifer's more subtle mannerisms have stuck with Cas next to the emotional trauma. It doesn't always show, mind you (Castiel is still sarcastic in his own special way, and I love that about him), BUT when you put into consideration that he was possessed by Lucifer for half a season, it makes sense that this would happen...

There are probably so many more examples but I'm gonna have to stop here before my computer crashes from the amount of gifs I've been using lol

Cheers folks

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

[orions-aether]

nothing will haunt me like evan kelmp getting his arm exploded to death. nothing will haunt me like "there is a very real part of him that struggles under the effort of staying." nothing will haunt me like "if it depends on what was important to him, then obviously it is his friends" and "all of these things are easy for him to haunt" and "there is something in whatever drifting space he is now that wonders what he mattered to, and if it needs to be even".

nothing will haunt me like "it's easy to drift and to move away, but it's hard to close your eyes when it's so bright around" and "the shadow reaches out, and starts to slowly put objects back in the backpack" and "the main thing I'm going to do is take the shoes off my dead body and put them on."

[wilting-fl0wer]

The only correct form of caltam, as far as i am concerned

[froxyfroggo]

Favourite Color: my favourite color used to be teal, but now i have two! green and purple. if you offered me a green thing and a purple thing and the only thing different was the color, i would NOT be able to choose! they're just. ough. i love them so much. i could talk someone's ear off about shades of either for hours. also phthalo green has a special place in my heart. so yeah. green and purple.

Currently Reading: welll ok so i've just finished animal farm... 3 weeks ago, roughly? and so i'm also halfway through 1984. but i've just started re-reading the golden compass also. the last word i read in a book was the golden compass, so that's my answer! i think!

Last Song: OK I KNOW THIS SOUNDS BAD BUT THE ACAPELLA VERSION OF GOLDEN FROM KPOP DEMON HUNTERS ME AND MY BRO WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE AND WE WERE ALONE SO WE PLAYED IT ON THE SPEAKERS FROM MY COMPUTER,,, THIS ISN'T ME NORMALLY I DON'T LISTEN TO KPOP!! aside from that nastywerkkkk i love my femtanyl what can i say

Last Film: kpop demon hunters we wanted to see what it was about. it was pretty good,,, something new ig! i loved that dumbass cat in it. so dumb. i need a giant dumbass plush of that dumbass cat. like what is his deal genuinely,,, boy why you so ????

Sweet/Salty/Sour: this is hard!!! ugh i guess if i had to choose, sour, because there's never a wrong time for it. you can never have too much sour. you can have too much sweet or salty though. i'm never not in the mood for anything with lemons :333

Coffee or Tea: tea. always. #1 tea stan over here. it is always the right time for tea.

Currently Working On: no comment!! *COUGH*fanfiction*COUGH*ii

aside from that i've been learning if i could ride a bike by chevy on piano! also artfight revenges... grolar if you're reading this i'm gonna GET YOU. >:] as soon as i make a whole new draft and take it through my art process cos i don't like what i was gonna submit yesterday so i'm restarting yay

ummm tags. tags are scary. uhh @normystical @grolarbear @sweetcupix @rowanrosemarie @plasky @kaethelazy @porter-pumpkim @jonathanentertainmentsims + anyone who wants to join!! i'm not the best at tagging aha

Get to know your mutuals!

*grabs mic and clears throat* Thank you so much @jintaka-hane and @igiulss for tagging me! I love these things and I love you girls! ❤️

Favorite Colors: Black, purple, and red. I was a bit of a goth teen, and my favorite colors never really got to change 😎

Currently Reading: SMUT! *snort* I used to care a lot about what I read, trying to stick to 'good literature' and the classics and all, but I'm now at a stage of my life where I stoped giving a f*ck and now I read what the hell I feel like. Judgment be damned. So I'm going through the ACOTAR series, devouring them like a madwoman. I have Edgar Allan Poe's short stories giving me the stink eye from my nightstand, and I might use him as a palate cleanser after!

Last Song: Oh, I've been cranking the Imperfect soundtrack I created on Spotify to get me in the mood for the next chapter, and the last one that played was, curiously enough, Imperfect by Stone Sour. I can't get enough of Corey Taylor, that man is a God!

Last Film: I barely watch any TV. I read and write in my spare time, so the last movie I saw was in the movie theatre and I took my son, so we got to see the live action of Lilo & Stitch! I enjoyed it a lot! 🥰

Sweet/Salty/Sour: All of them???? I mean... I can't choose! I have a very sweet tooth, but I love sour things... and salty snacks? UGH! Why are you doing this to me??? Gun to the head: sweet!

Tea or Coffee: Coffee. 100% coffee. Expressos, please. Or how we call it here in Portugal: bica. Actually was discussing this with Giuls just yesterday. I need at least 4 of them on a daily basis. 😍

Working On: Too many things at the same time, actually 😆 I'm working on Imperfect, Kid's Meet-Cute and I'm also throwing a few paragraphs for chapter 2 of All of Yourself, as well as trying to plan and write a very challenging longfic for my main account with ships like: SaNami, LawBin, Ace&Vivi and ZoTash.

I'm going to tag *checks to see who hasn't been tagged yet* @physics-of-one-piece @laidenbreecatchall @isabeauwolf and anyone else who wants to jump in on the fun wagon!

[ghostdnfie]

dream stans here who are multifandom, how do u deal with there being outspoken antis (whether its anything between a loud group to literal thousands of them) in ur other fandom(s) bc i feel like im walking on eggshells and unwelcome solely because of who i like and its beyond shit. i can barely interact with anyone like god i applaud your strength bc im literally about to lose my patience with the p.handom and its been just 5 months 💀

[rythyme]

really not a fan of boston very explicitly saying "I want to be exclusive romantically but not sexually" only to be told "You're lying to yourself. I think you should be alone."

[star-lights-up]

just had like the worst ever mental breakdown

and it all started because of the FUCKING OFFICE.

the COMEDY. TV. SHOW.

what is my life i am such an idiot

[peach-sea]