#I've seen some talented artists over there
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jxnisnotfunny · 2 days ago
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i wanna corroborate with @egg-emperor's tags rq
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ofc not that i've seen this cus i'm not on twitter anymore, but still
lemme be clear: as much as julian probably doesn't like hearing it (believe me, i like julian, so i don't mean this in a personal way), mike pollock is NOT a morally upstanding person. he's shown his true colors many many times over the past couple years alone, perhaps even longer ago than that, and it's 100% understandable why fewer and fewer people like him anymore. HOWEVER... despite his continued reprising of the role of dr. eggman, pollock should NOT be made synonymous with dr. eggman. other people have voiced him in the past, and other people can (and at this rate, probably, hopefully will) voice him in the future. pollock is NOT eggman just because he's voiced him for years. there's no need for anyone to start discourse with julian just because he's diehard horny for eggman and everything about him.
besides, truthfully, as much as i don't respect him anymore, it's not a detraction of pollock's talent. he's still good at what he does no matter what he does or how we feel about him, and there's not much anyone can do about that. same goes for my opinion of sean chiplock, who voices kinger in the amazing digital circus. from the allegations against him... yea no i don't like him. but his performance in episode 3 was, honestly, phenomenal. i loved it. and that's fine!
i don't skimp details: it's absolutely younger, more inexperienced, stubborn people who are trying to define "social justice" on twitter, but all it ends up being is policing without a goal, because they don't understand what to direct hate at and what not to. they're wasting their time and energy, yet are also too lazy to do any proper research on the topics that deserve attention.
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not fandom-related, but quick ramble
i say this especially given the rightful disdain against usage of generative ai, in part or in full, in art (i.e., art theft, replacing human artists, and heavy energy usage). i've seen COUNTLESS times - not even just on twitter but on bluesky as well, and heaven knows i love bluesky, but some people there are still culpable - where people have jumped the gun at the mere mention of... not even just gen-ai, but ai as a whole. immediately sounding the alarms, fearmongering left, right and center, calling for protests and boycotts... without looking at any of the details.
some ai CAN be used as tools to help artists make their jobs easier. it's just gen-ai that's really a big issue, since some average people are using it to replace learning to draw, and ESPECIALLY since big corporations are starting to get their slimy hands on it instead of giving jobs to real people qualified for acting, editing, or motion graphics, just to save money they don't need to save. but some people refuse to understand that or look into it, and thus we're stuck having to hear buffoons fume about things that don't matter.
i still remember very vividly when youtube rolled out an option to allow videos you upload to be used for gen-ai, but they clarified in the linked support article that it was disabled by default because it's against youtube TOS to enable it by default. however, some people just. didn't read it. outright. and that day i saw someone hollering at bluesky to take action even tho there was no action to be taken. only reason i knew this post existed is cus one of my friends reposted it, having also not also read the support article, and i immediately frowned in real life.
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I really feel like people forget that fandom is a fun hobby and not some sort of like, activist group.
Like, one of my hobbies is wildlife photography. If I follow a bunch of wildlife photography accounts and it's the only thing I see on my dash, am I in an echo chamber? No, I'm just engaging with my hobby.
It's really not that deep lmao is that person okay
Honestly the growing trend of forcing accountability, activism, virtue signalling and moral hunting in every single space is exhausting and crippling and it will eventually succeed in a massive cull of fandom spaces and creators. It already has, even, we've seen 'purges' of creators and content in certain fandoms and from a majority of websites and in revised policies.
That said, per your example, your internet space is allowed to be curated any way that you want it to. This blog, for example, is vastly different to my other account, where you will not find even a speck of political content. Not even a whiff of discourse. Its all cat pictures and the occasional shameless thirst over a man's thighs and probably an unhealthy amount of astronomy. They are both my spaces, they have just simply been curated very, very differently, and with two different intents.
"Isolated" (by content) spaces are not bad. Even in regards to some "negative" aspects. Some people are very, very set in their ways, and cannot or will not change. In such cases, its simply best to allow them to box themselves into their hate and not have a wider outreach.
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smoosie · 1 year ago
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I'm❗️finally❗️getting an Instagram account
I will have to figure out how this app works but you can follow me over there too if you want to➡️ https://instagram.com/ms.smoosie
Don't hesitate to share your own IG account in the replies so I could check it out & maybe follow you there 🤙
I will still post my future artworks on Tumblr but I'm currently more active on X/Twitter, if you prefer : https://twitter.com/MsSmoosie
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mortalityplays · 8 months ago
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This is a dangerous sentiment for me to express, as an editor who spends most of my working life telling writers to knock it off with the 45-word sentences and the adverbs and tortured metaphors, but I do think we're living through a period of weird pragmatic puritanism in mainstream literary taste.
e.g. I keep seeing people talk about 'purple prose' when they actually mean 'the writer uses vivid and/or metaphorical descriptive language'. I've seen people who present themselves as educators offer some of the best genre writing in western canon as examples of 'purple prose' because it engages strategically in prose-poetry to evoke mood and I guess that's sheer decadence when you could instead say "it was dark and scary outside". But that's not what purple prose means. Purple means the construction of the prose itself gets in the way of conveying meaning. mid-00s horse RPers know what I'm talking about. Cerulean orbs flash'd fire as they turn'd 'pon rollforth land, yonder horizonways. <= if I had to read this when I was 12, you don't get to call Ray Bradbury's prose 'purple'.
I griped on here recently about the prepossession with fictional characters in fictional narratives behaving 'rationally' and 'realistically' as if the sole purpose of a made-up story is to convince you it could have happened. No wonder the epistolary form is having a tumblr renaissance. One million billion arguments and thought experiments about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas that almost all evade the point of the story: that you can't wriggle out of it. The narrator is telling you how it was, is and will be, and you must confront the dissonances it evokes and digest your discomfort. 'Realistic' begins on the author's terms, that's what gives them the power to reach into your brain and fiddle about until sparks happen. You kind of have to trust the process a little bit.
This ultra-orthodox attitude to writing shares a lot of common ground with the tight, tight commodification of art in online spaces. And I mean commodification in the truest sense - the reconstruction of the thing to maximise its capacity to interface with markets. Form and function are overwhelmingly privileged over cloudy ideas like meaning, intent and possibility, because you can apply a sliding value scale to the material aspects of a work. But you can't charge extra for 'more challenging conceptual response to the milieu' in a commission drive. So that shit becomes vestigial. It isn't valued, it isn't taught, so eventually it isn't sought out. At best it's mystified as part of a given writer/artist's 'talent', but either way it grows incumbent on the individual to care enough about that kind of skill to cultivate it.
And it's risky, because unmeasurables come with the possibility of rejection or failure. Drop in too many allegorical descriptions of the rose garden and someone will decide your prose is 'purple' and unserious. A lot of online audiences seem to be terrified of being considered pretentious in their tastes. That creates a real unwillingness to step out into discursive spaces where you 🫵 are expected to develop and explore a personal relationship with each element of a work. No guard rails, no right answers. Word of god is shit to us out here. But fear of getting that kind of analysis wrong makes people hove to work that slavishly explains itself on every page. And I'm left wondering, what's the point of art that leads every single participant to the same conclusion? See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. Down the rollforth land, yonder horizonways. I just want to read more weird stuff.
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honey-on-your-tongue · 3 months ago
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heyyy I was wondering if you could do pornstar! Logan x pornstar! reader, where they're doing a scene together and Logan's being a little more gentle with her and cooing at her and calling her sweet things because she's so blissed out by him fucking her so good. (the reader hasn't been fucked that good in a while) and it ends with them going out or becoming fwb idk.
this is prob the most explicit I've requested so I totally understand if you don't wanna do it, also feel free to take your time thxx
Omg I LOVED this idea!!! I was so inspired ughhh I want this man so baaaad
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You have the perfect performance. Perfectly practiced moans, perfectly practiced expressions. You've got it all down, from the curl of your toes to the elegant arch of your back and the tilt of your head against the pillows.
You expect this new shoot to go the same. The usual age-gap thing, you innocent-looking vixen all-too-willing to let an older man fuck you.
You've never filmed with Logan before, but you've seen him around. And you've seen some of his videos.
At least he's hot and well endowed, you think as the sex scene comes up. The makeup artist fixes your makeup some and then you're sent to lie on the bed.
You can feel Logan's eyes on you as you position yourself on the bed. You glance over at him and he gives you a small grin, as if he knows something you don't.
At first, you're expecting the usual. Men that just fuck you like you're a toy and not caring for your pleasure.
But the moment Logan's hands are on you, you can tell it's going to be different.
His fingers trace your body like he's exploring precious, untouched terrain. Like he sees you.
The way he touches you and the way he looks at you like you're some precious thing has you plenty worked up.
His hand moves between your thighs, his breathing heavy. His fingers spread your folds and he groans, leaning down to lick at your entrance.
You shudder, a small gasp leaving you. You're shocked, amazed, exhilarated. Something about this is different—something about him is different.
You actually enjoy yourself. You don't have to fake anything. Every moan that leaves your lips is coerced by him and his talented tongue and fingers.
By the time the scene moves on to the actual sex, you're soaked and ready for him. And more than that, you're eager.
Logan holds your gaze as he slips his hard cock into you slowly. You gasp, he grunts.
“Fuck. So tight,” he says lowly as he starts thrusting.
He gives slow, long, deep strokes that almost feel like torture. He lets you feel every fucking inch of him with each thrust.
It feels so good that you almost forget about the cameras and the microphones and the crew that's recording and watching.
It feels so good that you allow yourself to get lost in the moment and you just feel it all.
You're moaning, hands grabbing onto his shoulders with a fierce grip as you try your best to remember the script. But no, you're too out of it. So Logan takes over.
“Yeah, baby, I know.” He chuckles as he grabs your leg and wraps it around his waist so he can fuck you deeper. “I know you like my cock in you, you ain't gotta say it.”
You whine, nails digging into his skin. “Fuck!” you squeal, words barely understandable through the mewls of ecstasy you let out.
“Such a good girl, hm? So obedient f’r me.”
You gasp, body trembling.
He smirks. “Can you say my name f’r me, darling? Hm?”
You mumble incoherently, remembering your lines from somewhere deep in your mind. You just can't say them. Literally. He's fucking you dumb.
“C'mon, baby, you can do better than that,” Logan taunts, kissing your neck. “Do better.”
You whimper, gasping, struggling to say the simple word you know he's wanting to hear.
He grabs your leg and moves it from around his waist to rest on his shoulder. He stops fucking you and lets you catch your breath. “Say it, bub.”
You meet his gaze through half-lidded eyes and say, “Daddy.” You're surprised at how hoarse your voice is. How long has he been fucking you for? It feels like it'll never be enough.
“Atta girl.” He grins, his cock twitching in you when he takes in the expression on your face. He starts fucking you again, harder and deeper this time, with more intention.
You're gasping, moaning, blubbering. And Logan fucks you harder.
You can feel that tight coil in your womb as the pleasure grows and spreads and threatens to take you over.
One of Logan's enormous hands comes down on top of your womb and he presses down. “I'm right in here. Can you feel me? Can you feel my cock so deep in this pretty cunt of yours?”
And that's it. That's all it takes for you to come on his cock. Your mind goes blank and you see stars.
Fuck the elegant arch of your back and the carefully practiced curl of your toes. Fuck the expressions you're supposed to make. You lose it. Your orgasm is messy and needy and intense and raw, and you love it.
By the time you come back to, Logan's already pulled out and come on your thighs, as per the script. He's already put on his robe and is drinking some water.
You sit up, body sore and exhausted, and the assistants are quick to help you into your robe and hand you some water.
You're still trying to get your bearings when Logan walks over to you. He smiles down at you as you sit on the edge of the bed and he holds out a piece of paper.
You take it. It has his number on it.
“’f you ever want a proper fuck again, bub, just call me up.”
---
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amysteryspot · 2 months ago
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A Woman's Worth - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader
Summary: Anthony tries to salvage what's left of his marriage and discovers what his wife is truly worth. (Part one)
Fandom: Bridgerton (TV Show)
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader
Warnings: mentions of miscarriage, cheating and lots of angst. English is not my first language and this wasn’t proofread.
Word Count: 4648
A/N: After so long, this piece is finally here. Thanks for patiently waiting and thanks @cevansgoodgirl for the help.
There is a mix of a scene with Laurie and Amy in Little Women and another one with Benedict and Tessa (the model/painter in 02x05), just so you know.
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He remembers the first time he saw her—really saw her.
The (Y/L/N)s were guests in Aubrey House, and (Y/N) was in the balcony with Benedict while both their mothers and most of their siblings were in the lawn.
Anthony is not even sure what drew his attention when he was passing by, he did not have a habit of eavesdropping, but he got himself held back when his brother commented on (Y/N)’s painting.
"I declare that's rather good." Benedict said making (Y/N) huff.
“We both know that good is not enough, Ben.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
Anthony could understand what his brother was talking about. The painting was a rendition of the scene unfolding before them—their siblings playing around while their mothers watched over them. It was rather good, indeed.
"It doesn’t matter, there's no place for me to do art."
Benedict frowned. "That's quite the statement to make at twenty. If you don't think you're good enough you have plenty of time to try some more, do better." He pauses, poking her. "You say that to me all the time."
"Then perhaps inform the academy.” She says, sarcasm dripping in every word. “Although two of the founding members are women, we are still not allowed to enter the classroom. It doesn't matter how much money we do or do not have."
"At least not while clothed." He comments, making (Y/N) throw the rag she was holding at him, which Benedict swiftly catches, changing the subject. "Well, now that you’ve given up all your artistic hopes, what are you going to do with your life?”
“Polish up my other talents and be an ornament to society.”
It was as if Anthony was seeing his sister speak.
“You sound like Eloise.” Benedict took the words out of Anthony’s mouth.
“Maybe she has been rubbing up on me.” (Y/N) smiled.
“You are searching for a husband, then?” Benedict asks, helping her pack her things.
“Yes.” She replies sheepishly.
“That's where Mr Scott comes in, I suppose.”
Anthony had noticed how Mr Scott had taken an interest in (Y/N), he never thought she felt the same.
Benedict continued. “You’ll accept him if he comes down properly on one knee?”
“Most likely, yes.” She said, pausing to look ahead for a moment. “He’s rich, respectable.”
When Benedict stifles a laugh, she lightly slaps his arm and Anthony has to fight back a smile. “Don’t make fun.” (Y/N) reprimands him.
"I’m not, I’m not, I promise.” He pauses. “It does sound odd coming from you.”
"I've always known that I would marry rich. Why should I be ashamed of that?"
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you love him." Benedict answers in a more serious tone.
Once upon a time Anthony would have easily seen himself at his brother's place, talking about love, but not anymore.
"Well, I believe we have some power over who we love, it isn't something that just happens to a person." (Y/N) says, closing the trunk with her paints, pencils and brushes inside.
"I think the poets might disagree." Benedict offers softly.
"Well, I'm not a poet, I'm just a woman.” She reminds him. “And as a woman I have no way to make money, not enough to earn a living and support my family. Even if I had my own money, which I don't, it would belong to my husband the minute we were married. If we had children they would belong to him not me. They would be his property. So don't stand there and tell me that marriage isn't an economic proposition, because it is. It may not be for you but it certainly is for me."
For the first time since he stopped to hear the conversation, hiding himself between the curtains, Anthony felt like he had overstepped a boundary, so he made quick work of fleeing the scene, her words echoing inside his head.
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Anthony remembers Benedict joking about how him and (Y/N) would make a good match. He listens as his brother tells him about the conversation he had with her and Anthony feigns ignorance to the subject, despite having heard the entire interaction. Benedict’s voice turns into white noise in the background as Anthony is transported back to a conversation he had with Daphne last season.
At the time he didn’t understand his sister’s words—perhaps, he never would. Daphne and (Y/N) shared the same struggles, but his sister had been set in marrying for love, (Y/N), on the other hand, had already resigned herself about having to marry for convenience.
It was then that Anthony recognized that the both of them were, indeed, a good match. (Y/N) was beautiful, well mannered, educated and very good at charming people. She came from a not very rich but respectable family. Anthony knew he was one of the most eligible bachelors of the season, despite his fame as a rake. It wouldn’t be a sacrifice to marry (Y/N), which made making the decision so much easier.
Anthony visited her the next day, explaining his proposal to her.
“You listened to us?” She blinked a couple of times, trying to digest the information.
“Yes,” he confessed, “and I’m terribly sorry for it, but we have to recognize that this might have been for the best.”
He observed as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling, a little frown on her face. She was beautiful this way. Even more than when she was charming half of the ton in the many social events he had seen her.
“If you don’t mind me asking, my lord, why marry now?”
Anthony sighed. “My mom has been forcing my hand since Daphne married. Even before that, if I’m being honest. It’s time to find a good wife, settle down, and fulfill my duties.”
“Don’t take my question as an offense, but why me?”
She seemed unable to quite grasp his words. Anthony wondered if she still hoped, deep down, to marry for love and that her conversation with his brother had been only a fickle attempt to protect herself.
“You’re intelligent, (Y/N),” He kneeled in front of her. “You are beautiful and your family is respectable. If you are serious about your words to my brother, we both want the same thing from such a union.” He paused. “Would it be so bad to be married to me?”
(Y/N) bit her lip and Anthony caught himself observing the action with a little more intent than he should.
“No, my lord, I believe it wouldn’t,” she said.
“Then why not make the best we can from a predicament we can’t escape?”
She averted his gaze, looking out to the balcony where her maid was sitting and reading a book, while watching over them.
Anthony took the opportunity to look at her—hair carefully brushed and pinned up, the way the light contrasted with her silhouette, making it easier to see her nose, her lips, the  curve of her neck…
“If I were to accept your proposition, would you be committed to this relationship?”
He frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I know that for our society standards maybe that’s too much to ask, but if I can’t be loved I’d wish to at least be respected.” She looked straight into his eyes and then Anthony understood what she was asking of him.
“You have my word that once we are engaged the only woman in my life will be you.”
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Anthony asked her father for permission to court her in the same day, then he got properly down on one knee a second time to ask for her hand in marriage, the two of them married within months. Benedict had been shocked by the whole ordeal, but all he cared about was seeing his brother and his friend at least a little bit happy.
The process of knowing each other had been smooth, a lot easier than what Anthony first anticipated. (Y/N) took her duties as the lady of the house seriously, making a point of listening to Violet quite often. His siblings seemed to adore her even more than they liked him, and although inexperienced, as he knew she was, (Y/N) had proved herself to be a good lover. For all of those reasons, Anthony thought that keeping his promise wouldn’t be such an impossible task.
Then he discovered that Sienna had never left town and Anthony, who always prided himself in being a man of his word, proved himself to be as bad as the rest of the men he was surrounded by.
He fell back into the sheets with Sienna, and not long after that his relationship with (Y/N) became purely a show. At first, Anthony thought his wife was oblivious to his escapades, but he had clearly underestimated (Y/N)’s intelligence.
They never shared a bedroom, but there was no disguising how his visits to her chambers happened less and less, as there was no denying the gossip of the house staff that could only lead her to his broken promises.
Anthony expected a fight, things being thrown at him, screams and hits, but they never came, and that was somewhat worse.
One night when he got home after meeting Sienna, (Y/N) was sitting in the dressing room between their chambers, knitting. She lifted her eyes from her work to bid him good night. It didn’t go unnoticed to him how her smile fell from her face as she took in his disheveled state. Anthony felt ashamed for the first time in years.
(Y/N) didn’t give him time to explain himself for being so late—maybe it was for the best because he honestly didn’t know if he could find a suitable excuse for that—she just got up, leaving her unfinished work resting in the loveseat, and marched to her room.
Anthony sighed, throwing his coat away carelessly. The force knocked out (Y/N)’s knitting to the ground and Anthony groaned before bending down to take it. He furrowed his brow when he recognized the pattern—an onesie.
Maybe Daphne was pregnant again? She would’ve told him, right? Simon would, for sure. Then it hit him. Holding the unfinished piece between his fingers, Anthony realized that that was the reason why (Y/N) had stayed awake waiting for him until that hour—she was pregnant and wanted to tell him the news. Instead of the happiness she must have expected, she only received the sight of an unfaithful husband and a broken marriage.
(Y/N) never mentioned it to him and Anthony pretended as if he didn’t know, waiting for her to make the first move, tell him at her own time. (Y/N) never said it though, but he couldn’t ignore the knowledge, and the more time he passed observing her, the more evident it became to him that his wife was, in fact, expecting their first child.
In no time she distanced herself from him and all came to the point of no return in the night where she had gone through the loss of their child alone while he was rolling in the sheets with Sienna.
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Anthony tried to reach out to her, succeeding only one time, a week after that fateful night, but in the following weeks, there hadn’t been much talking between them. (Y/N) would barely answer his greetings or the occasional question he threw her way trying to start a conversation. They had a few events to attend and these were the only occasions where she would grant him more than a couple of words. Anthony knew that that was all pretend for the sake of their reputation.
She refused every attempt he made to apologize or explain himself—not that there was much to explain. He couldn’t blame her, even if he wanted her forgiveness. It was her right to hate him and not want him around after he broke his promise to her.
They had never talked about it. Not until today.
(Y/N) was holding Augie, smiling down at the baby that smiled back at her, barely blinking with a look of pure adoration in his eyes.
“This one seems really enchanted by you,” Daphne comments, caressing her son’s little fingers.
“He’s just getting used to me,” (Y/N) answered,  smiling at his sister.
“Well, it’s good training, since I guess you and Anthony will probably have one of your own soon.”
Is as if Anthony’s blood turns to ice. He looks at his wife whose expression turns into shock and then sadness in the blink of an eye. He recognizes the tears pooling in her eyes as she gives the baby back to Daphne and excuses herself, leaving the drawing room too quick not to draw attention.
He hurries back after her. Simon gives him an apologetic look to which Anthony answers with an equally sad smile. It doesn’t take him long to find her, bend down in the windowsill of one of the windows of the library, one hand covering her mouth to muffle her sobbing while the other rested on her belly.
(Y/N) doesn’t hear his approach, but when he touches her as if she was expecting him too. She jumps as far away from him as she can get as if his touch burned her.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t…” she doesn’t finish the sentence but Anthony could hear it loud and clear in his head.
Don’t touch me with the same hands you’ve touched her just a week ago.
“Okay, it’s okay,” Anthony reassures her, raising his hands so she can see them. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me too, but I want to help you.”
“Nobody can help me,” she sobs, hands clutching tightly at her dress.
The sight breaks his heart. Anthony wants nothing more than to take her pain away and make it his, even though he is mourning the loss of their child with her. He knew her pain was fairly worse than his, she did not only lose a child but she had been losing her husband too.
“Why, Anthony? Why us? There are so many couples that don’t love each other and still have children, why can’t we?”
Anthony takes a step forward, then two, and then he’s bringing her into his arms, wrapping her tightly against his chest, his chin resting at the top of her head. She struggles against his touch a little, but she’s so worn out that it doesn’t take much for her to relax into him.
(Y/N) fists the lapels of his waistcoat, resting her forehead against his chest, letting herself cry.
“I wanted them so bad, Anthony,” she whispers between sobs, “so bad.”
Me too, he wants to answer. Me too.
They stay in the library, in silence, for a while. When (Y/N) finally stops crying, exhausted, Anthony takes her home without even saying goodbye to his family, sending a maid to let them know his wife was not feeling well.
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Their relationship shifts after that day. (Y/N) appears so exhausted by the recent events that slowly, she starts to let her guard down again. Anthony is careful when dealing with her, his wife is fragile and the sadness in her runs so deep that he is always afraid to say or do something that will put her through more pain.
“You don’t have to worry so much, you know.” She says, making him look up from his papers to see her already staring back at him.
“I always worry.”
“I won’t break if we talk about it,” she guarantees. “We have to talk about it.”
Anthony is not sure if she’s talking about their baby or Sienna. Either way it wasn’t exactly a conversation he was eager to have.
“How are you?” He asks before he can contain himself. Anthony wanted to ask that for a while but never found the opportunity.
“Healing,” she answers, “or trying to.”
He nods, nervously picking at his nails.
“When did you discover?” She asks.
“The onesie.” He looks up at her.
“The onesie,” she scoffs.
“You were… waiting for me?” His question is almost inaudible, full of regret and shame, but Anthony knows that she heard him.
“Yes,” she answers, “I was.” There’s a pause, and then the blow to his face. “Obviously you were occupied with more important matters, my lord.”
“(Y/N)—”
“I know about her,” she confesses. “I’ve always known, just didn’t want to acknowledge it and have to face the fact that my husband, the one that promised to respect me, at least, had so quickly forgotten his own word.”
“It’s not your fault.” He tries to explain but it seems like (Y/N) has had enough of silence.
“Oh, I know, my lord. This is entirely your fault.” She paused. “And hers. Not that it will matter for anyone, I’ll be the one to blame, after all.”
Her words cut through him the same way they did the week after her miscarriage: it’s always the woman’s fault. Hers or Sienna’s, it didn’t matter. Anthony would never understand the full extent of the pain it was to be a woman in their society, he would never fully understand how much he put her through and yet, would never be blamed for it.
There’s no answer to her words, no explanation for his behavior or broken promises. All he can do is watch her swallow the tears that were threatening to fall and take a deep breath. Anthony opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.
“That night,” she says, “the night I… lost our child. You were with her.”
It wasn’t a question, but Anthony felt the need to answer it anyway, his voice low with shame.
“Yes.”
“I see,” she hums.
“If I could go back—”
“The outcome would have been the same.” She says.
“It doesn’t change the fact that I should have been there for you.”
“Yes, you should have.”
Anthony always knew that, since the moment he put foot inside their house and heard her screams, but hearing her say it had another weight.
“Are you still seeing her?” She asks, looking at him.
“No, it won’t happen again.”
(Y/N) scoffs. “Forgive me if I have trouble believing in it, my lord.”
“I know I haven’t been a good husband. God, I have been barely a good man since we married, but I promise you, I’ll learn from my mistakes and I’ll do better by you. I’ll be a better man, a better husband, one that you deserve and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get close to deserve you.”
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The following days, they start to talk more during meals, and the silence that falls between them when they’re both at the drawing room—Anthony working and (Y/N) reading—is not uncomfortable anymore. Each day that passes makes Anthony believe that they can fall back into the friendship they had right after they married.
He doesn’t see Sienna again. Anthony sends her a letter telling her that they should stop seeing each other because he doesn’t want to hurt his wife anymore. Which is the truth. Every time he thinks about the last time he met Sienna, his wife’s cries of pain and sorrow plague his mind and he just can’t see himself hurting her even more than he already had without even realizing it.
Anthony watches her playing with Gregory and Hyacinth in the garden. His younger siblings are fighting for her attention but she doesn’t seem to mind, going back and forth in between the two of them with ease. Then she looks at him, a huge smile on her face that made him smile too. Her attention was quickly snatched from him to his siblings again and Anthony felt a pang of jealousy in his chest—he didn’t want to share her attention.
In the past few weeks, Anthony discovered that his wife was more than the character of the perfect wife that she played for the ton. She was very much real and very much a woman with desires and ambitions. Everything that happened between then made her more bold, she didn’t take his poor excuses anymore, she talked openly about all sorts of things and Anthony caught himself wanting to listen.
“Hum, did you finally realize that you got a diamond in your hands, then?”
Anthony turned his head to look at Benedict, who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
His relationship with Benedict was stranded since his brother discovered about Sienna. Anthony didn’t blame Benedict, he was friend’s with his wife since they were kids. He only had himself to blame for being so foolish.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Anthony answered, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t observing their siblings with (Y/N).
“Keep lying to yourself then,” Benedict smirked, turning away to leave.
Anthony called after him. “Will you ever forgive me?”
Benedict sighed. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you. I just expected more from my brother.”
“I know,” he agrees. Benedict makes a move to go out the door, and then comes back, pulling Anthony into a hug.
“Look, I could say a thousand things to you, but nothing will undo what’s done.” Benedict says when they part, a hand resting on Anthony’s shoulder. “Just… learn from your mistakes and do better. You’re my brother and I love you, but trust me when I say that you don't deserve (Y/N). Can you imagine what mother would have done to our father if they ever found themselves in the same situation?”
“They loved each other,” Anthony protested to prevent his mind from wandering.
“You are truly oblivious, brother of mine.” Benedict scoffed.
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His brother’s word haunted him for the rest of the day and all the way back to their home. Always perceptive, his change in behavior didn’t go unnoticed by (Y/N).
“What happened,” she asked when they were alone in the dressing room.
Anthony hummed, turning around to look at her and trying not to get distracted by her beauty as she braided her own hair after taking off the jewelry.
“Nothing.”
Her reflection raises a brow at him.
“Do better,” she warns, getting up and walking up to him, face softening as she stands in front of him. “You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”
He nods, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his face. Anthony’s eyes close.
“Is it about her?”
The question gets him off guard. His eyes open instantly to look at her and he drops (Y/N)’ hand instantly.
“No,” he answers, “no,” he adds firmly, cradling her face in between his hands. “There is no one else in my life but you. There won’t be no one else in my life but you.”
“Anthony…” She breaths, closing her eyes as her delicate hands take hold of his wrists.
He wants nothing more than to kiss her, but refrains. It’s not the time for that. They’re both healing and he doesn’t want to taint whatever it is they’re creating by getting ahead of himself. Instead, Anthony presses his lips to her hair, inhaling her scent.
“Stay with me tonight,” he pleads, not sure where the urge to stay close to her came from. Anthony expects her to put up a fight, but (Y/N) only nods, murmuring an okay, before guiding him to her room.
It’s the first time since that fateful night that the both of them sleep through it, getting up later than usual the other day.
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Their first kiss after everything that threatened to push them apart for good, happens so suddenly that none of them expects it.
(Y/N) had received the news that one of her younger sisters was going to marry the man she loves, her happiness made her throw herself at him and before either of them could realize, they were kissing each other.
It was just a chaste peck on the lips at the beginning. When they realized what had just happened they parted, his wife didn’t bother to step away from him to escape his embrace. They just stared at each other, eyes flicking between their eyes and their lips and then she placed a hand at the back of his neck, bringing him close to seal their lips again.
Anthony responded in kind, his hands on her waist, traveling up her back as he tasted her. It was like he was kissing her for the first time. They were discovering each other again, learning what each other felt like.
Desperately, Anthony wanted to discover what the strange feeling at the pit of his stomach was. Since before they married (Y/N) made him feel different, something he couldn’t put a finger on. He pushed it down to the depths of his mind—the last thing he needed was feeling something other than respect and partnership for his wife.
He protested when (Y/N) parted her lips from his and it took him a second to notice Benedict standing at the door, a smirk on his lips.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that our mother is waiting for (Y/N) downstairs. Something about the charity?”
“Oh,” his wife exclaimed, “I had forgotten about it,” she said, wriggling herself away from his arms, making Anthony growl in frustration.
If she noticed, (Y/N) made a good job at ignoring it. The same couldn’t be said about his brother.
“I figured,” Benedict smirked.
“Not a word,” (Y/N) warned as she passed him by, slapping his arm playfully.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Anthony watched as she turned around, stealing one last glance at him before disappearing and taking his breath away with her.
“Huh,” Benedict hummed, “I see.”
Rolling his eyes, Anthony asked, “And what do you see, dear brother?”
“You love her.”
“Nonsense,” he protested, “we’re just good partners.”
“Good partners don’t kiss like that.”
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The ride home was silent, but Anthony’s heart fluttered in his chest when (Y/N) searched for his hand. Could Benedict be right? Did he really fall in love with his wife? He frowned while looking out of the window of the carriage and (Y/N) might have noticed it, because she made a move to take her hand away from him. Anthony didn’t let her.
“What’s going on in your mind?”
“Something Benedict said to me.”
“If it is about the kiss, don’t mind him. It won’t happen again.”
Anthony looked at her exasperated.
“I surely hope you’re not serious about that.”
“Anthony…”
“How can I live without your kisses again is unknown to me.”
“You lived quite well without them all your life,” she smiles, shyly.
“But now that I know them, I can’t anymore.”
Painfully slowly, she moves closer, giving him the chance to meet her halfway and bring their lips together again.
It’s like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day and Anthony can’t seem to get enough of her. They get so distracted that they don’t even realise the carriage has stopped in front of the house until the door is open.
Recomposing themselves, he observes as (Y/N) giggles at the situation and feels his heart flutter at the image.
As they prepare to retire for the night, Anthony stops for a minute before following her into her room—he has been doing that for quite a few nights.
When she notices that he hasn’t entered the bedroom, (Y/N) looks back at him with a frown.
“Anything’s wrong?”
Anthony smiles, “No, nothing’s wrong,” he answers, as she extends her hand for him to take, and they retire for the night.
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majikkulu · 6 months ago
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━━ ❝ masterlist ❞
these are my personal observations and may not resonate with everyone. please take them with a grain of salt, as i'm not a professional astrologer! :))
♱ gemini risings with lilith in the first house or conjunct their asc often appear younger than their age, which can lead to past discrimination or exclusion. their youthful look might make it hard for them to be taken seriously or voice opinions, and they might have been teased for their appearance. as they age, they may receive comments about their agelessness and notice that people are hesitant to engage with them in conversations. they might also be seen as intimidating, standoffish, or even shy, and could be perceived as having a serious, sad or "resting bitch face."
♱ your saturn's sign, house, and degree can indicate people who impact you and teach important life lessons. these individuals often stay in your life long-term, offering both support and challenges. for example, my saturn is in cancer in the 2nd house at a virgo degree. many of my close friends and family have cancer, virgo, or taurus placements, and each has taught me something valuable. even though some cancers have betrayed me, those experiences were to shape me fr. take my bestie, who has saturn in cancer in the 11th house at a pisces degree. i’m a pisces with a strong 11th house stellium. i’ve noticed similar vibes with my favorite artists too.
♱ people with venus sextile saturn deeply value being appreciated and seen by others. they often seek long-term, serious relationships and handle challenges with maturity. they give their all and show great respect to their partners, often attracting or being drawn to older partners. those who meet them usually find them unforgettable.
♱ people with venus trine pluto crave intense, passionate love. their deep feelings are often transformative, with even short-term relationships leading to significant personal growth. they have a magnetic presence that's both striking and sometimes intimidating, and they connect on a profound, soul-deep level, drawing others in with their powerful emotional intensity and mysterious looks.
♱ people with jupiter in the 5th house are incredibly charming and approachable, drawing many people to them. they often connect easily with children and might have a natural talent for engaging with them. these individuals likely experience numerous crushes and pursue a wide range of hobbies with enthusiasm. they also have a talent for creative pursuits like music, art, or dancing.not to mention, their love life is often quite fulfilling.
♱ people with sun square ascendant may struggle with self-confidence and self-presentation early in life. however, as they grow older, they often develop a stronger sense of self and learn to embrace their unique qualities. over time, they become more confident and self-assured, appreciating who they are and how they express themselves.
♱ mars in taurus can take a long time to get genuinely upset. they tend to be slow to anger but can become easily frustrated. their anger is usually kept under control, but when it finally erupts, it can be intense and difficult to manage.
♱ chiron in the 9th house may struggle with faith and frequently question their beliefs. they might face challenges in school, but these often improve with age. some may have been pressured into church as children, contributing to their journey of exploration and self-discovery. as kids, they might have followed others' expectations instead of pursuing their own interests, leading to a continual quest for personal understanding and truth.
♱ virgo risings have great muscles and well-defined bodies.
♱ i've noticed that natives with a 4th house stellium often come from big families or have many siblings. they typically have a strong connection with their family, frequently staying in touch and valuing their relationships. their family can have a significant influence on them, playing a central role in their lives and shaping their sense of identity.
♱ i’ve noticed that individuals with pluto in the 10th house often receive mixed reactions from the public. they tend to be both admired and disliked, with their reputation evoking strong, polarized feelings. even if they’re not actually a “player,” their public persona might give off that vibe
♱ a lot of sagittarius moons, moon-jupiter aspects or moon in sag degrees are incredibly playful and flirty. they thrive on socializing and enjoy being the center of attention. their vibrant energy and enthusiasm often make them the life of the party, drawing people in with their lively and engaging personality.
♱ what i've noticed is that natives with cancer rising or the moon in the 1st house often attract a lot of popularity and are well-liked by many. they typically have an easy time connecting with others and are true social butterflies. females with these placements, in particular, often attract a lot of attention from men, thanks to their bubbly, fun personalities and their attractive, approachable appearance. on a negative note, i’ve observed that some people with these placements can also display deceitful, lying, or manipulative behaviors. (pls don’t come for me!)
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foodfightnovelization · 10 months ago
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ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight
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Holy chips! It's an exciting time to be a Foodfight! fan, because ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight is finally out! This really is THE definitive documentary on the insanity behind the movie, and it finally answers the question of just what was going on behind the scenes during production. Since I helped out with research (and I even get a short line of dialogue at 45:19) I've already seen everything that was shown off, but had to keep quiet until all the interviews were conducted and the documentary was finished. But now it's out and everything has been made public, the cat's out of the bag (the Fat Cat Burglar?) and I can talk about all the production material that's been shared.
Before I get into any of that though, I'd highly recommend you watch the documentary for yourself. It's insanely well researched and put together, and having worked together with Ziggy Cashmere (the documentary's creator) I know how hard he dedicated himself towards making this all possible. If it weren't for him, the most interesting Foodfight! discovery would've been finding the novelization, and we would have never gotten any real insight into how this movie came to be. It's also a documentary that really speaks for itself- I don't want to say too much about what it reveals since it's all expressed far better through its narrative and the interviews with people who actually worked on the project. My favorite is the interview with texture artist Mona Weiss- she tells such horrifying stories about how she was treated by Larry and other crewmembers, yet does it all with a sense of humor that makes it clear she's enjoying getting to talk about her crazy experiences. It's clear Foodfight! was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, and there's nobody to blame for that but Larry Kasanoff himself. The movie was rotten from the top down and despite the countless talented animators and artists working on it, nothing could fix the fact that it was fundamentally mismanaged in the worst way possible. I think the quote from producer George Johnsen summarizes it best: "Foodfight! was a good idea that unfortunately lost its way during production. The technology, the art, and the direction were not in sync. Many very talented people gave their all to make the picture, but more understanding of process from the top was needed for it to succeed."
But if you saw the documentary, you already know all that, right? So instead, let's talk about the behind-the-scenes material that's finally been shared! You can find everything I'll talking about HERE on archive.org-
It's worth following the link and checking it out for yourself- there's so much it'd impossible to discuss everything. Artwork, storyboards, bloopers, models, a nude render of Lady X, an interview with Larry Kasanoff, the list goes on and it's still being updated! Despite the documentary already being out, people who worked on the movie are continuing to share new material! It's pretty incredible- for the past year I've ran this blog all I've really had to discuss are two tie-in books, and now there's so much Foodfight! material I can't even keep up with it.
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I mean LOOK at all this, isn't it fantastic? The character art by Jim George showing off just how much better these designs originally were, the countless environments showing off just how stunning Marketropolis could've looked as well as the strength of the core idea "what if a supermarket came to life at night", and insanely detailed storyboards for a 7-minute pitch reel that was used to sell the movie to investors. Normally, I'd be ALL OVER this because it's all just incredible, but there's something far, FAR more fascinating than any of it.
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There are even multiple drafts of the script (one from 2005 and one from 2007 respectively) and normally I'd be insanely fascinated by those too, making extremely detailed posts explaining the differences between the drafts and how they compare to the novelization, but there's something else that was found that blows ALL of this out of the water and is easily one of the most monumental lost media discoveries of ALL TIME.
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That's right, a rough cut of the ENTIRE movie from 2005 has been found, containing nearly ALL the completed animation from earlier on in production. I mean, that's mindblowing right? We first got sent this around a month ago, a little while before the documentary came out, and I literally stopped everything I was doing at work to just sit and watch this. This is the closest we're ever going to get to the "original" version of Foodfight! after all- only 7 minutes of footage was ever actually made before they switched to mocap, made solely for the aforementioned pitch reel, and this workprint contains practically all of it! On top of that there are some great storyboards in here, as well as some truly hilarious ones cobbled together from 3D renders, and the plot is far better than what we ended up with, a lot of the more inappropriate jokes being absent. This rough cut is actually pretty similar to the novelization in that regard, and it also contains scenes that we'd previously only read about in there.
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For example, in the novelization there's a snowmobile chase through the mountains, with Brand X soldiers on snowmobiles and a heavy avalanche close behind. This scene was completely left out of the movie itself, but in this workprint it's here! ALL the previously novelization-exclusive scenes are included, and this rough cut is seemingly based on an even earlier draft of the script than that- here Brand X are still defeated by a flood, whereas by the time of the novelization it'd been changed to a lightning storm. There are SO many exciting differences in this workprint, the snippets of original animation we get to see are SO good, and it's SO much better than the movie itself that I think it by far deserves the crown as the DEFINITIVE version of Foodfight! There's so much in it I want to discuss, that there's no way I can fit it all into this one post...so stay tuned, because in the next few days I'll be doing a FULL analysis of the 2005 workprint, pointing out all the extra brand mascots not in the finished film, and generally just gushing about how amazing it is.
I mean, this is it. Just take it all in for a second- the original footage was considered lost media for over a decade, and now it's practically been found in its entirety, embedded in an early cut of the whole movie...isn't that just phenomenal? All the mysteries have been unraveled, all the questions have been answered, and now we can relax, take a deep breath, and watch Foodfight!...the REAL Foodfight! Make sure to enjoy it, and join me next time for my analysis!
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lyrashifts · 1 year ago
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SCRIPTING IDEAS ! ─── hogwarts clubs + extra-curriculars.
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BOOK CLUB.
students read books monthly and discuss what they enjoyed, what they didn't, symbolism, deeper meanings, etc. you may script whether books are muggle or magical fiction, as well as what books will be chosen.
THEATER CLUB.
students may audition for roles in specific plays and perform in them. there may also be workshops to improve acting, singing and dancing skills. you may script that you always get lead roles or are a talented actor in addition to this. you may also script in a theater for hogwarts.
MUSIC CLUB.
students may either learn to play instruments or improve their already existing skills. projects may be given to either perform certain songs or compose music. groups may be made and bands can be formed with specific students and friends. you may script that you already know an instrument (unless you want to learn), or that you are a talented singer / songwriter.
COOKING AND BAKING CLUB.
students can learn new recipes and how to make them with and without magic. you can script that students can keep their deserts or at the end of each meeting, members get to try other's foods either for fun or to rank them.
HERBOLOGY CLUB.
students who are interested in herbology and more advanced or intricate aspects of it may join this club. they may learn about more plants and have an opportunity to earn extra credit in herbology for joining this class.
POTIONS CLUB.
students who are interested in potions and wish to explore more complicated potions may join this club. they will create potions and learn about ingredients either brushed over in the curriculum or that aren't included. they may have an opportunity to earn extra credit in potions for joining this class.
MINISTRY OF MAGIC CLUB.
similarly to what might be a united nations club, students may take roles of ministry members and learn more about the ministry in general. students joining this club may be seen as more suitable for a job in the ministry once out of hogwarts. students may also have field-trips to learn about other country's magical governments or to the ministry itself to learn exactly how it works.
LANGUAGE CLUBS.
students wishing to learn certain languages may join language learning clubs! this may be especially helpful if you are already trying to learn a language and want more practice. languages may include whatever you script them to, such as french, latin, greek, spanish, etc.
FLYING CLUB.
as only a limited number of students may join the quidditch team, younger or less talented students may join the flying club for an enjoyable and less strict take on quidditch. they may have games that are not divided by house that are less competitive.
ART CLUB.
students who enjoy more artistic activities, such as drawing, painting, sculpting, and more may join this club. you may work on projects based on the medium you enjoy and receive criticism and help on your work. students may also simply come here to work on their personal projects alongside others.
STUDYING AND HOMEWORK CLUB.
students who wish to study with others or desire help on their work and assignments may join or attend this club. professors will be there to help with anyone struggling and talented students may gain extra credit by helping students with their work and studies.
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here are just some clubs i've decided to include in my own dr. if you have any other ideas, feel free to suggest some and i'll do my best to add them!
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bengiyo · 3 months ago
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Blue Canvas of Youthful Days: BL is So Good When The Characterization Holds
I've been enamored with this show as each week builds on the actions and information we previously received. I am white knuckling through the end of this show, because we have caught up with the prologue just past the midpoint (@benkaben). I've been thinking a lot about this show, so I want to get some of my thoughts down before any unwelcome turns happen.
Qi Lu Feels Recognizably Gay
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I've been thinking a lot about Qi Lu since we had the attempted first kiss with East Palace, West Palace (1996) playing in the background (@twig-tea). The fact that he has this film implies that he's known about himself for a while and has been looking for resources online to feed this part of himself. He pushed for that moment, and he recognized the attraction in Qin Xiao.
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Later, he doesn't allow Qin Xiao to play coy about what's going on with them. He also doesn't fold in on himself and collapse because he faced a rejection. He's one of the rare characters who Knows himself that has the response that feels more real to me when they get rejected by a boy they know likes them: they get mad.
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I loved that Qi Lu got defiant and demanding about Qin Xiao. He's totally wrong (@lurkingshan), but it was so correct for the position he's in. He's stifled by his dad, and beaten for showing any defiance. He's clearly lacking in other friendships. I completely get Qi Lu becoming possessive of Qin Xiao, and getting frustrated that Qin Xiao wouldn't return his feelings.
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I'm also enamored with the way he seems to see past Qin Xiao's threats of violence. There's something so specific about a gay man who regularly suffers beatings from his father recognizing the false bravado behind Qin Xiao's own threats, and choosing to respond with gentleness to it every time. I'm still thinking about him kissing that man's fist in episode 8.
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Like any young person caught up in their first romance, they're enjoying the honeymoon phase and promising things that will surely cause us immense pain. Still, Qi Lu is one of my favorite gay boys of the year, because he didn't get smaller when he faced rejection. He got bigger and stubborn. I love him.
Qin Xiao is a Great Romantic Lead
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Zhang Xuan Yu is killing it as Qin Xiao. He is perfectly calibrated to be the kind of man any young gay would fall for.
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He's a talented artist that has a strong moral center. He is willing to learn new ways to communicate to take care of the people that matter to him. He is caring for a sick grandparent. He's also so beautiful.
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Even his rejection of Qi Lu is attractive. He's obviously drawn to Qi Lu, but this was not what he had in mind for his life. He's also leery of the big economic and social lines between them. He's got gangsters showing up at his place of work to threaten him.
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But how can he stay away? As soon as he got a little bit jealous, he broke at the persistent kindness of Qi Lu. They let themselves feel what's happening between them and it looks so comfortable. I'm so ready for all of the drama to come, and I am crossing my fingers that we don't get a traumatizing ending to justify this getting past the censors.
Teacher Liu is a Mess and I Love Him
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This man needs to get his shit together, but goddamn am I invested. He started helping a guy who reminded him of the brother whose death he feels responsible for, only to fall for that young man. Now his sensibilities as a teacher are clouding the issue for him, and he's lying to that boy. What a disaster of a man. I love him.
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I was a teacher, and I have been in the position this man was in when he faced down Qi Lu's father. I've had to say the correct things to a parent to diffuse a situation where I was worried for my student's safety. I've also been in the position of having to tell gay kids between the lines to focus on their responsibilities over their relationship issues without saying anything that could be seen as me not meeting the responsibility of a teacher to report behavior. You have to maintain a level of plausible deniability that I find myself connecting to with Teacher Liu.
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That being said, he's doing wrong by Tan Yin, and I'm glad Tan Yin is assertive about what's happening with them. I don't think this would work as a drama if the show didn't show us constantly that it knows Liu is a fuck up here.
We're Really In it Now
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As we enter the final two weeks of this show, I remain cautious about how we'll finish. However, regardless of how this show ends, we've had eight incredibly strong episodes that show us that the people behind this know what story they're telling. If their ending feels contrived and doesn't make sense, I hope that it feels like something that was forced on them. In either case, I wanted to write about how strongly I've responded to the first eight episodes, because this is one of the most satisyfing experiences I've had as a viewer this year. I am amazed that we got this, Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo, and Love in the Big City all at the same time.
I clearly just need to hold out for fall every year.
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grinnames · 1 month ago
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HOW THE HECK DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE
200+ followers.
We are over 200 followers strong already folks.
What do I even say?! Well I gotta say something, because it's been over a month since I hit this milestone, and I finally got all other ideas finished.
SO! Let's start with saying that I am incredibly and forever grateful and lucky that this has happened to me and that I get to do this online and that so many people enjoy my work. I've always been an outsider looking in, always the spectator, and never the performer. For so long, I have dreamed of finally being the person on the other side of the screen, making countless people smile and maybe even brighten up their day just a little bit. It feels like I've only just started making content on Tumblr SINCE LAST AUGUST, and I'm already having to write grandiose thank-you letters!
On a more serious note, I had been going through a rough time for the past few months, just a little after I started Tumblr. I had just transferred to a new school, and have had to leave all my friends behind for a second time. The transition period was hard, and I had never felt so lonely in a long while, but coming back online to see you interacting with my blog always brightened up my day. I've come to learn and accept that sometimes, online communities can be just as good as in-person communities, though it did take some getting used to!
Speaking of grandiose thank-you letters, let's get on to acknowledging some VIPs!
First, thank you everyone that has decided to hit the follow button, and for giving me a chance! It really feels validating, and motivated to continue working on and posting my story!
Also, I would like to thank God for gifting me with artistic talent and the drive to hone it at the tender age of five. He's given me so many opportunities to practice my craft, and He continues to give me more chances to use my gift for the happiness of others, and for myself. Without Him, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
@novajuniper! You know who you are to me. So I'm just here to remind everyone what you did. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND IRL AND YOU ENCOURAGED ME TO START TUMBLR IN THE FIRST PLACE! You were also one of my first and only fans of my art for a very very long time. Everyone, let's give it up for the OG!!
@oppsiedoo! YOU. You were one of my first fans that gave me FANART! The first Godbox AU fanart came from you, and the first Grinnames fanart came from you! And then you kept giving me more! I'm honestly sometimes a little concerned with the amount of fanart you do for me and my work. Surely you have other creators you look up to?! But thanks for giving me that much support since the beginning when I was small! I felt so validated and seen!
@bow-and-aro-child and @smgx-pez! I always remember you because you were some of the first people to notice Godbox AU! Though we don't interact much, I very much appreciate that you stuck around! You two often appear as my top-fans on my Activities page!
Also @smgx-pez you were also one of my first reblogs. It was the one where you compared Rewrite Sonic to Godbox SMG4, and my stomach kinda dropped in a nervous but excited way! That thread where you found out I actually was inspired by Rewrite is something I will never forget because that's how I discovered that Tumblr was chill like that! Thanks for representing Tumblr!
@hexsie! You were also one of my first reblogs! I was so young and inexperienced on this platform and some stranger (you) sends me some OOC drawing of your OC hugging my boys... I have to admit I was very flattered but so stunned that I didn't know how to respond. Well, now here's the response! I now think that this interaction was hilarious! Thank you for being my introduction into the SMG4 community! Looking forward to that Hexsie lore!
(It's always been the Hug Saga, hasn't it...? From the very beginning...)
@smg6-the-memer! My first asker! You probably submitted the most asks to my ask box as well! That's how I remember you! I had actually not intended to start asks at the time, but the askbox was open by default, so I just went along with it because I HAD ALWAYS WANTED AN ASKBLOG. So thank you for being the push!
@supern0vashii! The infamous Starter of the Hug Saga! Also currently the Ender of the Hug Saga! (for now) We've come full circle! Honestly, Hug Saga was fun, and it's all thanks to you reaching out to me! You also started the Godboxified OC trend with SMG6... you really be out there trailblazing! I've always enjoyed redesigning my OCs to fit AUs... so to have people doing the same for MY AU?! IT FEELS SO AMAZING! Thank you!
@bear-boi-5! My first mutual that isn't @novajuniper! (she doesn't count because I met her IRL before tumblr) When you followed me back you have no idea how shocked and excited I was. I'm not really interested in the fandoms you draw for now, I mostly followed you for your amazing SMG4 au art (Monster Containment AU is my favorite! It's what got me to follow you!) but I'm sticking around because of the sentiment and I also like your vibes!
@michaelscorneroftheinternet! Holy hell. You are one of the creators that I really look up to! Your art-style is just so yummy! So I kind of, may have, freaked out when you joined the Godboxified OC trend AND followed me back! ON TOP OF THAT, YOU SAID I'M ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CREATORS TOO?! I nearly died from all the happiness rushing up to my head! Not to mention, I really love your energy whenever you reblog stuff! It's rather infectious! Keep up the good work!
@libbytwq! I also look up to you! We may not have interacted much, but I am honored that you follow me back! I really enjoy watching SMGL:e's silly little adventures and interactions with other OCs! So much so that I was inspired by you to later publish some lore about my own OC Grinnames herself! I'm looking forward to some more delicious lore-drops in the future!
@purpdrawsthings! You are probably one of the the NICEST most BUBBLY people I have met on this platform! I just like watching you be nice to people and the fanart you make of other creators' AUs! Not to mention your own AUs are mighty interesting... I want to be as nice as you when I interact with other blogs! Also MY SONA BECAME AN ANIMATION IN YOUR CHRISTMAS VIDEO, SHE'S GOING PLACES THANKS TO YOU!
@bstroobery! specifically @bluestrawberrybunny, Apprenticeship AU is actually one of the first SMG4 fanfics I decided to sit down, lock in, and read through. And over time, your OCs SMG5 and SMG6 really grew on me! I also liked that you were open to AU interactions in your askbox, and crossovers have always been my sort of thing, so I decided that your askbox would be the first I would interact with! Thank you for being so chill with me!
@clowntrickery08! My latest mutual! Dude I really like your artstyle, and its super easy to tell that its you! The way you draw characters is really charming! So I can say for certain that I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN YOU DREW MY BOYS IN YOUR STYLE. Also I really like your sona's design! Also, your concept for SMGPuzzles and SMGWren is SO COOL that I am gonna play around with it sometimes!
@itz-miss-kamilyvision! My god, your OC has a whole-ahh saga in Godbox AU. You having your OC have so many interactions with my boys was so much fun to watch! Thank you doing all that, I always love making characters interact and you gave me just that over and over again! I also like seeing your OCs lore, and the other interactions you have with other creators!
@alan-william! The one who turned ME into a gacha character AND animated me! But what I appreciated the most is how you made my sona interact with yours and also Micheal's. That is the closest thing to real human interaction to me on this platform, and something that I've enjoyed the most here is finding community, and I really feel connected with you!
@birdy-four! We haven't interacted that much, but to this day, that giant reblog of Godbox AU Chapter 0 with you word-vomiting everywhere about my fanfic is my favorite reblog of all time! I sometimes go back and read it again because while most people see my art, they don't really get to see my writing, and I've never gotten feedback like this before!
@smg33exe! And last but not least, the one that put my boy Godbox!SMG4 in a gacha video! BECAUSE OF YOU I MADE IT ONTO YOUTUBE! Thank you for throwing my creation out there on the web, and for creating a video that I sometimes come back to just to marvel at what I've become!
As for the rest of you... I have planned something that everyone can partake in! Stay tuned, I just need to finish preparing it...
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ilreleonewikiart · 7 months ago
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Rhaenyra x Harwin Strong for the talented @riotarttherite
First of all, I want to sincerely thank @riotarttherite for proposing this challenge to me. I've admired her for a long time and have been a fan of hers, and when she wrote to me about a month ago to propose this art trade, I couldn't believe my eyes; I was so surprised and happy at that moment.
Besides feeling honored as an artist, as her fan, I was over the moon at the idea of having an illustration made by her. Without giving away too many spoilers, I can tell you that it is a couple from my AU fic The Doom in Our Blood Comes Back.
Actually, although I gave some guidelines on how to create it, I haven't seen the finished product yet, so it will be a big surprise for me, but I have no doubt it will be a masterpiece!
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grandline-fics · 1 year ago
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Ohhhh i really really really like your writing, it’s so very good!! Could i request some fluff with zoro? I was thinking about the reader being an artist, and he finds her sketchbook and is impressed by her art, and then he finds drawings of the crew and him. Or something like that, you can definitely change the idea. Thank you very much, i hope you have a good day/night!
DESCRIPTION: You’re an artist and he asks to see your sketchbook
WARNINGS:  none
CHARACTERS: Zoro
WORDS: 680
A/N: Thank you for the request! I've been feeling a bit of writer's block creeping up but hopefully you like what I came up with.
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
MASTERLIST
———————
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“You’re going to hurt your back if you keep hunching over like that.” Zoro told you as he looked over his shoulder to fix you with a meaningful look, amused to see you snap out of your trance to look up in surprise. It didn’t matter how many times he reminded you to sit up properly, you still ended up in this kind of position when you were intensely set on drawing in the sketchbook that was rarely far from your reach. He didn’t miss how your hand instinctively curled over the pages currently being worked on, protecting them from view but also using practiced care to avoid smudging the drawings. 
Zoro couldn’t help but note you were more protective of your sketchbook around him than you would be with the rest of the crew. Yes, you still would shield it initially from view but if asked you would reveal what you were currently working on. With him? You never showed it unless it was finished products on a canvas. Silently he wondered why he was different. Though he supposed he wasn’t one to ask outright compared to the likes of Luffy who was impulsive and excitable, Sanji, who gushed over the slightest thing, and even Robin who was naturally curious about art and anything intellectual. Compared to them, Zoro never felt the need to ask even when he did want to see your talent. “Can I see?” he asked.
You tensed in surprise and quickly let your gaze flicker to the sketchbook and back to his face. It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to see, it was just you weren’t sure how he would react. Hesitantly you pulled your hand away and let the pages be revealed to him. Zoro stepped closer and lifted the book into his hands, he’d seen how you held it enough times to know the proper way to treat it without ruining any of your hard work. Slowly he started at the beginning, taking in scenes you’d drawn from previous adventures on different islands. 
Some pages held detailed studies of plants and landscapes, each bringing out a memory for him, whether it of a vague feeling of relaxation or a stronger emotion as he recalled the hard won fights they’d engaged on. Most of the pages however he knew had been taken from some place on the Sunny, the focus being some, if not all of the crew. It didn’t take him long to notice that he seemed to feature more heavily than the others. He would be lying if he didn’t feel some sort of satisfaction at that. 
For the first time since you’d let him look at the very thing you were most precious about he lifted his gaze to see you were purposely looking away from him. “It’s not like you to be insecure, you’re talented. Why are you so nervous?” He asked, pretending to be oblivious. Part of him hoped you’d give him an answer he’d been hoping on. Zoro watched you lightly chew on your bottom lip as you tried to form an answer. Finally you cleared your throat.
“I’m not insecure about my skill…” You began simply, slowly building the nerve to look at the swordsman while also trying to stop the growing blush on your face. “It’s just I don’t want you to think I’m stalking you or anything, I know I’ve drawn you a lot.”
“You have?” Zoro couldn’t help the teasing tone creeping into his voice as he looked down at one page in particular that was a study of him training with his swords. “Hadn’t noticed.”
”Oh shut up!” You grumbled lightly, taking the sketchbook back into your hold. “It’s not my fault I can only draw things that interest me. It’s just how I am.” Quickly you clamped your mouth shut, the blush burning on your skin stronger now as Zoro grinned down at you, looking even more pleased with himself. He only wished he’d asked to see your sketchbook sooner had he known this was what he was going to get.
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smahell · 9 months ago
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i miss otaku fm with all my heart and soul and i've been patiently waiting for satoshi kada (leviathan's va) to get back into the studio, and interview everyone all over again. i miss the live drama recordings, the stupidly funny plots, the realistic slip-ups and quirks from each of the cast members. i miss a toast in hell's kitchen and genuinely learning and listening about the talents behind the game, and people's amiable messages and questions towards them in Tell Me!
honestly i'm on my knees begging for a third season where maybe he interviews the vas for thirteen, mephisto and raphael since i haven't seen/heard much from them too in terms of personal messages to fans.
satoshi kada, with his radio, acting and tv experience is such a sweet and soothing personality who brings such warmth to every single project he works on, including obey me. i just wish solmare really really recognized how impactful these podcasts were, no matter long or short, and the abilities of this main cast because goddamit..in such a time where nightbringer is being scrutinized and obey me itself is falling in popularity, absolutely none of the voice actors have forgotten or even brushed aside obey me.
"oh it's because they're working for the game, they'd get fired if they criticized it"
//NB: ik this video is sort of old but i have plenty more proof that the vas still play the game, I thought this was just the best example.//
fuck, most (if not ALL) of the vas play the game??? they get the exact same experience as you and i!! and every boys in the house clip i see them happy to be there together, praising and celebrating the game and just having fun man. it's honestly so touching.
i miss the anime episodes: the ideas shared between the vas and the writers, and every episode seven with the va's analysing their performances and characters makes me laugh till my stomach hurts. you *should* consider how entertaining the anime is; it's obviously rather low budget but you can really tell ( even though this wasn't the obey me universe we know and love) it still kept people on their feet and entertained me like some twisted ao3 crackfic istg. you can tell that the anime was made with fans in mind, and that's where the writers for it really flourished. to this day I still see people talking and sharing screenshots from it..
basically.. let's try not focus on the fact that "obey me is getting worse", let's all look to a future and try and be positive about things, yeah? because behind this silly little demon dating sim are talented writers, artists, coders, ambassadors and fans that have kept the game alive for 5+ years.
i wish obm does flourish more in the future, and the devs focus on creating a game(s) and content that inspire, enlighten and make everyone smile.
please, as a ty, take my silly photos of my favs. I must spread the word..
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yesimwriting · 2 months ago
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omg yesss bestie reader origin story
a/n i LOVE creating lore and backstory omg
----
The golden rays of light cutting across the woman's face are so delicate, so hazy Armand can almost convince himself that what's in front of him is more than oil paint staining a canvas but an actual encapsulation of light.
"It's interesting, isn't it?" The art consultant's words are an unwelcome intrusion. Though Armand's gallery visits are dwindling in regularity, she's always content to obey that subconscious instinct that warns her of his otherness. She rarely says much without being prompted to. "One of the first paintings we've sold tonight and it's the artist's first gallery piece."
The painting is defined by contradiction. A partially veiled woman studying her reflection by candlelight. She's as haunted as she is content, as made up of shadows as she is of light.
After a beat of silence, the consultant continues, "...If you'd like something similar, I'm familiar with the artist and her agent. I'm sure she'd be willing to show you her portfolio or to speak to you about commissioning a piece." The consultant turns, clasping her hands in front of her briefly before lifting an arm to gesture to the other side of the room. "She's actually right over there, if you'd like to speak to her."
Armand shifts, his focus finally abandoning the painting. The artist, the stranger, defies his halfhearted expectations. You're too wanted, too distracted by a plethora of artists and consumers to feel the weight of his gaze.
Your easiness presses into him as uncomfortably as the painting's contradictions. Your being is shinier than it should be--a bright spot that nearly dulls all else in comparison.
"I'll take it." The response is jarring in its certainty.
The consultant turns her head, blinking at him sheepishly. "Sir...it's already been sold, but I'm--"
"One-hundred." He straightens, his attention returning to the painting in front of him. "Offer a hundred-thousand more than whatever's being paid for it."
The consultant's mind immediately latches onto refusal. This isn't an auction...there are arrangements, pre-existing agreements--a variety of reasons for his offer to mean nothing. However, there are also one-hundred-thousand reasons that she cannot deny him.
She's quiet for a moment, her eyes briefly narrowing as her thoughts dip away from the financial. Her mind floods with thoughts of the artist, the warmth of their limited reactions. The consultant is not overly familiar with you, and yet, some impulse begs her to find a way to keep him away from you. Armand cannot fault her for it.
After another beat of silence, rationality seems to win her over. She dismisses the precautioning guilt swelling in her chest and nods once. "I'll make the arrangements."
----
The weight of the glass in your hand is familiar enough, and yet something about the way your fingers bend around its stem makes the object feel like a prop.
You take a breath, forcing your spine to straighten as the air settles in your lungs. This isn't a performance. This is reality.
A gentle hand on your shoulder allows you to feel a little more connected to yourself. "I've never seen so many people stop to look at a first time artist's work." Abigail's practically squealing. "You've got something different than talent--you've got a quality." Your lips part, but before you can respond she squeezes your shoulder a little tighter. "And I discovered you."
She grins before bringing her nearly empty champagne flute to her lips. "Okay, now, when anyone asks what you're working on next, I want you to keep it light. We don't want to establish your branding too early. Just say you're excited to be putting together your first collection."
Great--the collection that's only common thread seems to be a vague yet undeniable sense of directionless. You nod once, downing the last of your glass's contents in a single drink. "I'm gonna get another drink."
"Okay," she hums, pulling her hand away from your arm, "Remember--light."
You nod at the instruction before walking into the crowd aimlessly. It'd be an easy thing to get another drink, to give yourself something tangible to focus on when you have nothing worth saying. But you don't feel like drinking...or breaking down everything you say about yourself to other people.
You just--you need some air.
The art gallery isn't overly full, but there's enough movement that it doesn't take much to briefly disappear. You abandon your empty glass on a forgotten table as you walk towards the side door.
There's a sharpness to the evening air that presses itself against your skin. It's strangely grounding.
A few minutes of thought, of planning, and you'll be able to go back in there and project the artist that Abigail wants you to be. She's a tough manager, but her methods work. You'll get used to it.
You sigh, leaning against a blank part of the wall. It's a good thing that Abigail doesn't want you answering any specific questions right now. It gives you--
A soft groan pulls you out of your thoughts. You walk forward, steps measured as you approach the small space between buildings. The alley is a small, dark thing that twists at your stomach.
After a beat, you lay a hand against the wall, leaning towards the alleyway without actually stepping into it. "Hello?" There's no response. Hm. Maybe the champagne's getting to you more than you thought.
You straighten, a little more ready to re-enter the building than you were before being reminded of the very real prospect of murderers that lurk in alleys just like this one.
"You're not supposed to be out here." There's a hint of unease to the voice that isn't enough to undermine its warmth. You step towards it, letting go of the wall and officially entering the alley.
From here, you can see past the piles of cardboard boxes and trash bags. There's a figure so far down the walkway the streetlights don't reach them.
Technically, the stranger is right. Even if the gallery didn't have a strict alleyway loitering policy, you still wouldn't have a right to be out here. You're supposed to be inside, chatting with other artists and critics about your vague yet niche yet artistic yet unpretentious future art plans. But there's little chance the stranger knows that.
You straighten, chin lifting slightly. "You're not either."
The sound that follows is either a scoff or a laugh. Maybe you'd be able to tell if you knew the stranger any better. As if sensing your uncertainty, the stranger steps forward. "Technically."
He's still obscured by shadows, but from here, you can make out the base of his features. You know that appearances aren't an indicator of morality, but the man in front of you doesn't look like a killer. Or at the very least, not a very good one.
A beat of silence passes. The stranger takes another step towards you. "It's cold for you to be out here without a jacket, isn't it?"
You're not sure what to make of his assessment. "Not that cold."
He takes a few steps forward. "Why are you out here?" There's no accusation or expectation in the question, just a cautious curiosity.
"I just..." The rehearsed answer feels small, shallow. This stranger doesn't know you, has no way of knowing anything about you, and yet something leaves you feeling like he can see straight through you. "I needed some air." The prospect of being perceived when you wanted a break from it leaves you uneasy. "What about you?"
He blinks, as if he hadn't exactly considered the possibility of the question coming back to him. "Also needed air."
You nod. "Cool."
"...Cool," he echoes, the word almost uncertain. "Are you sure you're not looking for anything else?"
The bluntness of the question throws you. This guy seems nice enough, but he's still a total stranger. "Yeah, I'm sure, but if I change my mind you--guy I met in alley--will be the first to know."
He's quiet for so long you almost convince yourself that you were a little too mean, but then, he tilts his head just enough for you to notice what might be a smile. "Thank God." When the joke doesn't ease you, he takes another step forward. "You just--you seem a little tense."
You're not sure if you're more unnerved by his familiarity or by how easy it seems to reciprocate. You fold your arms across your chest, fingers pressing into your arms in an attempt to create warmth. "We're strangers. For all you know, I'm always like this."
His smile doesn't falter. "Louis de Pointe de Lac."
You hesitate before reluctantly offering him your name in return. Once you do, he takes another step towards you. The light's catching him a little easier now. The more you see him, the less nervous you feel about him. "Now we're not strangers."
You drag your hands up and down your arms. "Technically." You're quiet for a second, before finally relenting. "Abigail, my manager, is just so obsessed with image, and I get it. That's her job, but mine is to pick what I make. And I just--I don't know, everything about it feels so synthetic." You sigh. "That probably sounds really dumb."
"It doesn't." He pauses, pressing his lips together before approaching the alleyway's end. He's close enough now to seem like a person. "We can talk about it inside, if you want."
The night air is rapidly shifting away from cool and towards frigid. You like the thought of re-entering the building with him more than you probably should. "Why do you want to talk to me at all?"
He studies you for a second before lifting a shoulder in a barely there shrug. You're once again unsettled by how easy you think it'd be to like him. "Beats the cold."
You return his partial shrug before walking forward. "I guess it does."
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thewalrusespublicist · 2 months ago
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"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"
OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.
I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.
Hi anon! And the other anons!
Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)
From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.
A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!
Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…
This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.
So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?
John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.
So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:
How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no
Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961
By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:
"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."
The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)
In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:
"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."
The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson
Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.
Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:
"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."
The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)
Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)
(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)
Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.
John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:
Stu was recalled in In My Life
Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."
Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time
Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life
In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard
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He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.
The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'
He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper
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As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.
I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.
Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:
“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”
Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane
Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting
SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.
Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon
This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.
But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?
No.
How do we know? Because John told us so:
" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."
John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971
But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).
But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)
At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.
As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.
"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"
John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980
There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.
Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.
Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.
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hollowed-theory-hall · 3 months ago
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Lily Potter is not Mediocre
I wrote this initially as a response to a reblog on this post, but I wanted to give Lily a post of her own that isn't tied in with my rambling about shipping Voldemort. So here it is:
We don't know a lot about Lily, but what we do know implies she is very magically talented and has a bit of a cruel streak to her. She isn't as perfect as some portray her, nor as awful as I've seen some claim her to be. but oh boy do I disagree about her being mediocre.
Let's talk about the magical power first, becouse I feel a lot of people underestimate Lily's magical talent.
“Excellent, excellent, Harry! Good lord, it’s clear you’ve inherited your mother’s talent. She was a dab hand at Potions, Lily was! Here you are, then, here you are — one bottle of Felix Felicis, as promised, and use it well!”
(HBP)
I know some people like to claim Lily was only good at potions because of Snape, but I don't think that's the case. I'm sure he helped her out at first, but they stopped being friends at 5th year and she continued to seemingly have good grades at Potions since Slughorn really loves her.
As a child, Lily has incredible control over her accidental magic and accomplishes difficult magic naturally and intuitively:
But the girl had let go of the swing at the very height of its arc and flown into the air, quite literally flown, launched herself skyward with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, she soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly.
(DH)
Lily had picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind which Snape lurked. Petunia advanced, evidently torn between curiosity and disapproval. Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster.
(DH)
This is way more advanced than magic usually shown by kids, especially because of how controlled it is. The only other character we see on level with Lily's control at such a young age (and who mastered unaided flight on their own) is Voldemort.
Harry also shows insanely powerful accidental magic (including Apparation) and let's just say, I don't think Harry's magical talent came from James.
Lily was both Prefect and head girl (like Tom) again showing she had a great academic track record and was likely a top student in many of her classes. We know she was good at Potions, but she was likely very adapt at Charms as well:
You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work
(PS)
Now, I talked in the past on here about how Harry is insanely magically powerful, specifically when it came to intuitive magic that just reacted to his emotions/desires or him being able to feel magic (this is that post). If we take Dumbledore at his word on how Lily cast her sacrificial love on Harry (which I tend to do) her sacrificial magic was insanely intuitive magic like we see Harry repeatedly do throughout the books.
I think the reason no one else ever did is because of the specific circumstances and Lily's specific words, yes, but I also think, that like her son, she had a knack for her magic responding intuitively to her desires no spell needed. This is a mark of a very powerful wizard/witch and not something a mediocre wizard would be likely to accomplish.
We see Harry cast this same sacrificial love in DH. And he, too, doesn't really cast anything, it's intuitive, his magic is powerful and incredibly reactive to his emotions — and I believe Lily was the same.
JKR has mentioned Voldemort tried to convince James and Lily to become Death Eaters, more than once ("Thrice defied him"). He wouldn't have given them more than one chance if either of them was mediocre. I also don't think he would've tried to get Lily to step aside so he wouldn't have to kill her as many times as he did if he thought she was average at best.
As for her personality, you're right, she isn't exactly Harry, but they do share some very important traits, and as I said, I think she and Tom would clash less than Harry and Tom (as in Lily doesn't get angry the way Harry does, so their reactions would be different).
Lily acted charming and prideful:
She turned, nose in the air, and marched off towards her sister.
(DH)
“Hmpf. Yes, well. You shouldn’t have favorites as a teacher, of course, but she was one of mine. Your mother,” Slughorn added, in answer to Harry’s questioning look. “Lily Evans. One of the brightest I ever taught. Vivacious, you know. Charming girl.I used to tell her she ought to have been in my House. Very cheeky answers I used to get back too.”
(HBP)
Slughorn talks about Lily's personality more than any other character, and what he says does paint her as similar to Harry.
She was talented and bright. Slughorn, who thought Tom Riddle, considers Lily Potter one of the brightest students he ever thought. She was in no way mediocre.
She was charming and had a firey personality to her. She was enthusiastic and charismatic and was easily likable.
I especially like what Slughorn says about Lily being good for Slytherin. Like Harry, she was likely considered by the hat for both Slytherin and Gryffindor due to her cleverness and bravery being both part of her.
And these cheeky answers Slghorn refers to, are like Harry's. Harry is the cheeky student Slughorn is referring to in the same breath as Lily's. Harry got his sass from Lily, not from James. Harry's tendency to back-talk Dark Lords came from his mom.
She's more scared when she's younger, crying more, but she clearly grows up to be fiercer, as Slughorn mentions and as we see in some of the memories:
“Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends’ too! You’re not going to — I won’t let you — ” “Letme? Letme?” Lily’s bright green eyes were slits. Snape backtracked at once.
(DH)
As for the cruel streak I mentioned:
Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, “Let him down!”
(OotP)
Lily, even as Snape's best friend, can't help but find the bullying funny for just a moment. It means her sense of humor can be on the crueler side at times. The fact that it's implied, even during SWM that Lily didn't really hate James, just disliked his behavior is quite telling. Like, I don't think he needed to change much for her to go out with him. Sirius even says he mostly just stopped hexing people in the halls. I think he wasn't as arrogant, but he was probably still very egocentric. And Lily liked that (contrary to Harry who'd find it more annoying).
Additionally, when Lily wants to, she knows to hit where it hurts (the Slytherin streak Slughorn talks about?):
“That’s where you’re going,” said Petunia with relish. “A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy ... weirdos, that’s what you two are. It’s good you’re being separated from normal people. It’s for our safety.” Lily glanced toward her parents, who were looking around the platform with an air of wholehearted enjoyment, drinking in the scene. Then she looked back at her sister, and her voice was low and fierce.“You didn’t think it was such a freak’s school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you.” Petunia turned scarlet.
(DH)
She knows Petunia and she knows what would hurt/embarrass her the most and she goes for the throat. Even if later she tries to smooth things over with her.
I also wanted to note her wand. Ollivanders said she had a Willow wand, and willow wands have some interesting facts about them:
Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn. It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.
(From Pottermore)
(Ron has a Willow wand too, btw, like the second wand he gets that is really his)
This implies Lily was insecure, and you kinda see it in her behavior as a child. Her deference to Petunia and how many questions she asks Snape:
“Normally,” said Snape. “But you’re Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents.” “Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?”
(DH)
She is scared, walking up to the sorting hat:
He watched his mother walk forward on trembling legs and sit down upon the rickety stool. Professor McGonagall dropped the Sorting Hat onto her head, and barely a second after it had touched the dark red hair, the hat cried, “ Gryffindor”
(DH)
But the hat placed her in Gryffindor becouse of the bravery was there. The insecurity isn't warranted (according to the wand's description). She had the fire and fierceness there all along. she may thought herself average but it was never true.
The description of the wand also suggests Lily would've been quite good with advanced non-verbal magic, which fits everything I mentioned about her magic being very intuitive like Harry's in the first section here.
So Lily is in no way mediocre and Harry is his mother's son.
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