#I've gotten a few asks about performing I feel like I should

[violet-eng]

f!reader reacts to Zhongli (Morax)! "apoptosis" during Rite of Descension | angst + 🔞 NSFW

So... I've always wondered how Zhongli's close friends (let's pretend he has close friends) would react to his death during the Rite of Descension...

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Summary: Zhongli and you are a couple, and you know he's Rex Lapis. How would you react if your beloved dragon boyfriend dies in front of your eyes during the Rite of Descension? Or worse yet, how would you react if you found out that he is actually alive?

Tw: Angst (a lot), smut, 🔞, MDNI, p i v, nipple sucking, words of hate during sex (i hate you), mentionsof death.

🎨 by: Nid417 2k words.

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The soft caress of Zhongli's fingers on your forehead woke you up in the morning, bringing you back to the earthly realm and wrenching you from the comfortable sleep you had taken as a reward for your performance the night before. Like every night, Zhongli had abused you in bed, using you until he left his empty balls in your belly. 

The light streaming through the window, the rays of sunshine heralding a new day, brighten your face as you realize that Zhongli has gotten out of bed. You watch him get dressed, the shirt covering his arms, golden marks on his dark skin, the marks of your nails on his back, crimson traces open to the passage of your passion.

"Today is going to be a long day," your ardent lover says as he adjusts his tie, "I'm sorry to have to wake you, it's never my intention to cause you any discomfort, but I'm afraid on this occasion it was absolutely necessary."

"The Rite of Descension is today, I had forgotten," you mention, leaning back on your elbows and rubbing your eyes, the locks of hair falling over the valley of your breasts, the sheet covering you sliding down to your waist, giving Zhongli a magnificent view as he adjusts his pants.

"When it's all over, we should have dinner... and then maybe try our luck at starting a family," he says, though it's hard to make out his words because of the volume of his voice. Zhongli speaks with a tinge of nostalgia, a back and forth of dark feelings and a melancholy aura, he has been in this state for several weeks now.

"I guess there's no point in me asking you again what's wrong with you today," you say, embellishing the sentence with a subtle laugh, sometimes your dear Morax is very secretive about his feelings and manages to become hermetic and unshakable as a rock, today is one of those days.

"I promise you that once the Rite culminates, all your questions will be answered," he says, sitting next to you, caressing the curve of your back and tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. One of Zhongli's favorite images is your face when you wake up...especially the morning after a good fuck. There's something about your puffy eyes that drives him crazy, or the scarlet color on your skin from his teeth the night before that makes him lose his mind, whatever it is, he finds you to be the most charming creature he's ever met in his millennia of existence.

"I only ask you," Zhongli says, continuing the conversation, keeping the cryptic tone he had a few moments ago, "I only ask you not to be afraid, no matter what you see, do not be afraid. I will come back to you no matter what happens”

"You always do," you say as you turn around, your face lit up with a smile and your breasts in full view as you reach out a hand that manages to caress his cheek, "that's our contract, darling, you always come back to me."

Zhongli fiercely fights the desire to fuck you at this moment, these words and this image you have given him.... He takes a deep breath before getting up from the bed, ignoring his instincts. There will be time to indulge your carnal desires.

You know the Rite of Descent in detail, you have witnessed it and heard it performed firsthand. This time there is nothing out of the usual, perhaps a new face or two, but nothing out of the ordinary. You find yourself looking forward to what will happen next, and perhaps during the night you will comment to Zhongli how strange it is to see him in his draconic form, and how sweet you find his empathic act of introducing himself to the....

The rumble of the lifeless body of the Lord of Liyue falling echoes through the place. The offerings table is a mess, and the ensuing uproar even more so. There is talk of murder, the Millelith rushes in pursuit of the suspects, and as the rest of the crowd disperses, you lie in place, frozen, stunned by what you have witnessed. You bring your hands to your chest in a reflex to stop the heartbeat that seems to pierce your skin, the sound of the Millelith's footsteps confused with the thumping rhythm of your heart, your lip trembling and your hands sweating, your trembling fingers clutching the fabric of your clothes, trying to bring you back to reality as you watch the body of your beloved Morax lying lifeless before your eyes.

"Tell Wangsheng Funeral Parlor what happened," Keqing orders you... or is it Ningguang's voice? " Y/n! There's no time to waste, go!"

Much to your chagrin, you find yourself running to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, your eyes on the verge of bitter tears and deep weeping, but you cannot afford to do so, not when you cannot explain your reaction to others. You walk down the stairs, wondering: Did Zhongli's recent attitude mean that he suspected that someone wanted to kill him, and if so, why didn't he trust you? The questions cloud your mind, you stumble over some people while debating with yourself, Zhongli knew it, in short, that's why he had such a mysterious attitude lately, he knew he would abandon you? No, you're cursing yourself, you can't think about him like that, especially now that he's... You can't even think of the word, Morax, Rex Lapis, your beloved Zhongli, is an immortal being who has traveled miles of life, he is a powerful being, the strongest of the gods... or he was... ....

You resign yourself to the facts, to the image of the dragon lying on the rubble, his chest motionless, his eyes lifeless... you had not even been able to say goodbye to him that morning. With regret gnawing at your heart, you burst into Wangsheng's funeral parlor and called out to Hu Tao.

"Rex Lapis," you say with a lump in your throat, as she grabs your arms and asks you to calm down, "Rex Lapis is..." you pause over your words as the figure of your lover emerges from one of the offices.

"Y/n" Hu Tao agitates you, but you are absorbed in the image coming towards you, the way Zhongli hurries to give you a drink.

"He's dead," you manage to finish the sentence without taking your eyes off Zhongli. Hu Tao is shocked by this and laments over such an unfortunate event, delving into theories that could have led to something like this happening.

"There is no reason to jump to conclusions at a time like this," Zhongli suggests, "Ninnguang must need help.

It is Hu Tao who leaves the place at his subordinate's suggestion, leaving him in charge of your welfare, your poor condition being too obvious to the average eye. It is just the two of you in the room, the sound of commotion outside is beyond reproach, but at this moment, you are oblivious to what is going on outside.

Zhongli holds out his coat to you, draping it over your shoulders and adjusting the collar over your chest, you holding the drink he offered you a few moments ago. You analyze him closely, your eyes scanning him in detail, taking in every inch of his image. 

"Y/n," he whispers as he caresses your shoulders, his hands coddling your arms, looking at you like an infant about to cry.

"Zhongli," saying his name feels like breathing out your last breath of life. You bring your hesitant hand to his face, a reflection of your desire to check if what you are observing is real. You press his skin against your palm, and he leans into the familiar touch of your caress.

"My beautiful y/n, I beg your forgiveness" he muses as he moves the cup away from your hands, to take your small limbs between his, kissing your knuckles gingerly.

The gesture causes you to burst into tears, to throw yourself into his arms and release the sea of bitterness and pain that had built up in your chest. Zhongli pulls you close to him, wrapping you in an embrace that he hopes will never break, that he hopes will prove how sorry he is for the hurt he has caused you. You ask him for explanations between sobs, you reproach him for not being clear with you, for letting you believe he was dead, you beat his chest in agony and resentment, and he allows you to do so, if it were up to him, you could actually kill him at that very moment, he deserves no less, not when he has made you shed tears for him so bitterly.

"You should have told me" you whimper, and your legs start to shake. The burning in your chest grows and you feel like you will faint at any moment. Zhongli senses it, senses every change in your organism, so he hurries to ask you to return home.

The road passes in silence, Zhongli has put his arm around your shoulder, and along the way he has showered you with pleas to redeem himself, but you ignore him, you don't even look at him, and that hurts him deeply.

You cross the door and go into the room to lie down on the bed, finally you can no longer use your legs, you have never felt so weak, so useless... You let out the rest of your cry on the pillows, leaning on your hands, your chest heaving for air, the shock hasn't completely left you...

Zhongli approaches you and puts a hand on your back, but you clearly warn him not to come near you, not to touch you, and maybe you are being too hard on him, but it is what you think he deserves. 

"Go away," you order sharply, "you're supposed to be dead... you..." you speak nonsense, it's the pain of shock that overwhelms you.

"What are you saying?" Zhongli exclaims in anguish, searching for your face, though you hide it well for him. He struggles with you, trying to bring you to your senses, "I'm here, my love, it's me... I'm alive," he says, taking your hands and pressing them to his chest, where his desperate heart beats in desperation. You look at him pitifully, your eyes drenched with tears, your lip trembling.

"This is the heart of a living man," he says, "and this is the warmth of a living man's skin," he says, bringing your hands to his neck and chest, unbuttoning his shirt in a desperate act, and as the shock of his desperation strikes your complexion, you seem to snap out of your trance.

"Zhongli..." you finally whisper.

"Here I am, beautiful, I came back for you..." he muses, pressing his forehead against yours.

"You always..." you falter, "you always come back to me," your breath mingles with his, as hot as yours. You rush to his lips, so eager to taste his breath of life, the divinity escaping his mouth like groans as you bite his lip, pressing it harder against your mouth.

"This is our contract," Zhongli says between kisses, a trickle of saliva between the two of you as he removes his shirt and your clothes.

He fucks you with anger, with desire and a burning he didn't know he was holding back. And you scream, your moans high and boisterous, not caring what is happening outside or how sacrilegious it is that you are fucking while everyone outside is suffering the death of Rex Lapis... the same Rex Lapis who is pounding on your cervix with fervor and enormous force, the same one who is massaging your clitoris while sucking on one of your nipples.

"I hate you," you spit angrily, drowning out your moans as you cling to his arms.

"It's what I deserve," he says, just as vulgar as you, sonorous and quite vocal, resting one of your legs on his shoulders, "hate me all you want, y/n, but then scream my name when you cum and when you give birth to our children."

"You bastard," you moan as your fingernails leave scarlet marks on his sculpted shoulders, "don't stop.... Zhongli, don't stop," the way he pounds you is delicious and your guts know it as they twist in a hot knot as his cock makes its way into your pussy.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he repeats, not stopping his assault, settling on top of you to look at the bulge rising in your belly where his cock is abusing you. He puts one of his hands on yours, the other massaging your thigh and the flesh on his shoulder, looking at you with a devotion that you do not recognize, as if you were a treasure, a goddess....

His hips crash mercilessly against yours, and you, as spiteful as you are horny, can't help but make the most vulgar sounds you can. You feel Zhongli's balls slapping against your skin, the frantic movement in and out of your pussy, the way something inside you seems to snap from the force of his penetration. He has you wide open for him, fully exposed, and he gives himself to you like the devotee he is when he fucks you, seeking only your pleasure.

"Zhongli..." you moan as one of your fingers gently caresses the line that divides his scarred abdomen, your digit running down the valley of his rock hard muscles....

"Let me take care of you, darling," he says, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it, leaning down to capture your lips with his mouth. His tongue penetrates the roof of your mouth and you feel your throat receive the visit of such a welcome guest.

Zhongli turns you over, your body snug against the sheets, your face deep in the mattress, and he on top of you. He continues to stir your loins as he lets his chest fall on your back, his face sinking into your shoulder, and you feel that this way, so close to him, he has better access to you. His cock twists in your favorite spot, the one that makes you let out a yelp and reach out a hand for support, grasping the silk between your fingers. Zhongli intertwines his hand with yours, and there, trapped beneath his body, at the mercy of his relentless assault, he whispers a "I love you" with deep regret.

"Zhongli," you moan, completely trapped between the bed and how well he is fucking you, your hands trapped in his, "I love you...damn it...I love you," you cry out as you convulse beneath him, your orgasm erupting as he bathes your velvety walls with his white seed.

You turn your face to breathe. Zhongli doesn't let go or leave you. You stay like this for a moment, enjoying the heat the other gives off. Zhongli kisses your shoulder blade and you feel the remains of his cum leave you as he pulls his cock out of your abused hole. The empty feeling makes you moan. He doesn't let go of you at any point, clinging to you as he lies down and sets you beside him, wrapping you in his arms, securing you in an embrace as he leaves deep kisses on the back of your neck and shoulder. Your chest heaves for air, the ecstasy you feel is unlike anything you have experienced before, no previous encounter has ever been like this.

"I didn't mean it," you say, your voice hoarse, your throat scratchy from shouting, "I don't hate you...I couldn't," you turn to him, meeting amber eyes that look at you with calm and deep regret.

"Do you forgive me?" he asks in a sweet, syrupy, insistent tone. 

"My dear Morax," you whisper, taking refuge in his chest, "I forgave you the moment I felt your aching heart beat with concern for me."

These words are enough for Zhongli to ease the weight he was carrying so that he can rest his chin on your head and breathe in the scent of your hair, mixed with the smell of sex in the room.

He strokes your back, running his fingers over your small human form, downplaying the commotion outside, focusing only on you and your well-being....

[goerhoejtbiddernaeppelillehund]

Okay. I'm going to weigh in on some Dead Boy Detectives shipping discourse. (Oh gods I'll probably regret this)

First of all, love the show so so much, please go watch it if you haven't already. Good supernatural mysteries, excellent queer rep, what more could you ask for?

Now. I've stumbled across several DBD posts where peoples reaction to Charles and Crystal flirting have been somewhat unpleasant. A lot of "Ugh, ewww, noooo don't, that's wrong, you're not supposed to do that!"

And look, I'm a Payneland shipper as much as the next person, but it doesn't sit right with me. Now there's a whole can of worms about how Crystal as a character has been received by parts of the fandom and how that's part of a much larger pattern and someone more qualified than me should definitely go into that.

I personally found the romance between Charles and Crystal rather sweet. Sure it's awkward and imperfect, but that, to me, just makes it feel more real. One of the few things in the show that reminds you that these characters are actually supposed to be teenagers. And while it does create tension between Charles and Edwin, I don't feel like it, in any way, overshadows or prevents their very real and intimate relationship.

But it seems to me like some people feel that way, like Crystal is an obstacle to Charles and Edwin getting together. Which, aside from giving me supernatural flashbacks, seems rather narrow minded to a bi and polyam person like myself.

I think it especially bothers me because the fandom has almost unanimously agreed on Charles being bisexual and praised him for it, which is apparently all well and good in the abstract, but as soon as he actually starts performing bisexuality it's "ewww, get away from the girl and back to the Edwardian twink." Particularly jarring since none of the men/cats/birds making advances on Edwin have gotten as much backlash ('ve seen some, but not nearly as much).

Any other bi people feel like they recognise something there?

TLDR: Watch and Rewatch DBD, and next time you're annoyed at Charles and Crystal flirting, maybe try examining exactly why that bothers you.

[runnning-outof-time]

Worth Breaking Plans For | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by anonymous

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Tommy Shelby never thought he'd willingly go to see a ballet…that was until he found out that (Y/N) was performing in one. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) never thought she was someone worth breaking plans for…that was until Tommy came into her life.

Warnings: drinking and one bad word

Word Count: 4238

A/N: I’ve got another long one for ya here…the words just wouldn’t stop haha. This one was super fun to write. I hope I added enough ballerina elements for you, anon. If you haven’t got your fill by the end of it though, @padfootdaredmetoo has an amazing ballerina!reader series that you should check out! Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

(Y/N) just barely had the time to take in her surroundings before she was having a flute of champagne thrust in her direction. "Here," the drink was accompanied by the words of her friend, Lou, "have a few of these and you'll be settled in in no time."

"Thank you," (Y/N) gingerly replied, accepting the glass and bringing it up to her lips so that she could take a sip of the bubbly liquid. She then smiled at her friends, who were intently watching for any microexpression she would share with them. "It's good," she told them, feeling a little silly for even saying that in the first place.

"Good," Julia affirmed, a smile present on her face as she watched her friend take another sip, "let's get into this party now!" she cheered, taking hold of (Y/N)'s hand so that she, and Lou, could lead her deeper into the establishment.

(Y/N) took that time to look around in awe. She hadn't attended many of these parties - as if that hadn't been obvious enough - and was eager to soak in every aspect of it that she could. Spending time with a few friends from her company at either her flat or a smaller venue was more her speed, but that didn't mean she wasn't excited to see the other half of the spectrum.

"Did you hear what Lou said, (Y/N)?" the sound of Julia's voice broke into her thoughts, making her focus on her friends again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't," she admitted, a sheepish smile present on her face. They'd been here for a handful of minutes now and yet there were details of the venue and revelry that she still hadn't caught onto. She didn't feel too bad for being lost in the atmosphere of it all.

"I was saying that I've gotten word about there being some rather prominent figures at this party," Lou repeated herself, a grin forming on her face.

"Prominent in what sense?" (Y/N) couldn't help but ask. She had a right to, considering that she and her two friends were members of one of the most prestigious ballet companies that ran in London and its surrounding areas. Technically they could be considered part of the 'prominent figures' being talked about.

"I've heard everything from entertainers, to politicians, and even..." Julia trailed off, glancing around before she leaned closer to the other two women, her grin growing as she went to finish off her statement, "gangsters."

"Why did you say it in that way?" (Y/N) couldn't help but giggle at her friend's delivery of the word.

"Because the thought of it is so utterly...interesting," Julia responded.

“And exhilarating,” Lou added.

"Wouldn’t it be fun to meet a gangster?" Julia finished off with a question, making Lou nod, a giddy grin present on her face as she added a few more words of agreement.

"Hmm...I suppose," (Y/N) aired more on the coy side of things, looking out at the sea of people that were attending the party. She found it slightly hard to believe that there were actual gangsters scattered amongst these innocent looking party-goers. Maybe it'd only be those fake kinds...like the ones you'd see in the pictures.

"Come on ladies, let's find ourselves a gangster!" Julia cheered, obviously not letting the distinction bog her mind down. She clapped her hands together before leading the other two even further into the venue.

(Y/N) took that time to do some more looking around, her eyes dancing from the band, to the extravagant decorations, to the many people who seemed to be having the time of their lives. Amidst the looking, her eyes stopped on a man...one who immediately stood out from the rest of the people she'd been watching so far. She couldn't help but let her eyes linger on him for a longer amount of time. He just looked so...interesting, for lack of better words, and she found herself entranced by him.

She let her eyes linger on him until Lou broke into her thoughts - yet again - this time going on about seeing a familiar face that she wanted to go speak to. So with slight dismay, she broke her stare and followed her friends.

"Ada Thorne! It really is you!" Lou exclaimed as the three women approached another one, who had brown hair and a well-dressed figure.

"Lou! It's so good to see you!" the woman replied in a similar fashion to the initial greeting, a wide smile forming on her face. "Goodness, you've brought friends as well," she added, her eyes focusing on the other two ladies.

"Yes, I have," Lou answered with a smile, "this is Julia and (Y/N), they're both in the same company as me," she then went about the introductions.

"It's nice to meet you ladies. Lou always goes on and on about the women she performs with...it's so nice to finally put some faces to the stories," Ada said, smiling as she spoke.

"So how have things been with you?" Lou then moved to the small talk portion of the conversation, her eyebrows raised as she awaited a response.

(Y/N) figured that she didn't really need to be a part of the conversation anymore, so she happily went back to people watching. Much to her upset, she couldn't find the man she'd been fixated on earlier, no matter how hard she looked for him. That didn't mean that she didn't still enjoy taking in her surroundings once more.

She stayed locked into her own world until the feeling of Julia jabbing her side brought her out of it. "Goodness, what's that for?" she asked her friend, her eyes snapping to the other woman as she sent her a glare.

"You've been in your own world while we're being introduced to someone here," she hissed, nodding her head to the left to indicate that someone else had joined the group in the meantime.

(Y/N) was a bit nervous to look, feeling bashful all of a sudden for not having proper party manners. But she had to look, because it quickly became apparent that the conversation wasn't going on without it. So she did, and the sight that was awaiting her made her mouth go dry in seconds. Standing before her was the man...the one that she'd been transfixed on earlier. She suddenly hoped that her jaw hadn't gone slack at the realization as she scrambled to think of something to say.

"You'll have to forgive me...I like to take in my surroundings whenever I'm able to," she said to the man, a sheepish smile forming on her face.

"All is forgiven," the man brushed her apology off without second thought. The gruffness in his voice moved her in ways that she truly hadn't been moved before. That, coupled with the intensity of his ocean blue eyes that were currently focused on her, made her feel like her knees could give out at any moment.

"My name's (Y/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N)," (Y/N) then decided to introduce herself, figuring that the group had already gotten past that step and was waiting for her to catch up.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N)," the man said with a slight, greeting-typed nod before continuing, "my name's Tommy. Tommy Shelby," he then offered up his name, along with his hand for her to shake.

"Pleasure to meet you as well, Tommy," she responded to him, accepting the handshake with a kind smile.

"Tommy's my brother," Ada then entered the conversation, making (Y/N) remember that there were others around her, and that she wasn't just standing by herself with this man. "He says he's in town on business, but I think he's come to keep tabs on me," she added, a grin forming on her face as she took a playful jab at her sibling.

"It's nice to meet you, Tommy," Julia offered a greeting similar to (Y/N)'s, which made her wonder if maybe introductions hadn't been completed yet.

"These ladies all belong to one of the finest ballet companies this city has to offer," Ada then gave her brother some more information on the women he'd just been introduced to, her words making Lou playfully chide her.

Small talk re-commenced then, and (Y/N) tried to stay with it for the sake of not making another awkward mistake. She found it hard to be completely focused though, because no matter what she did, she couldn't quite keep her eyes off of Tommy.

——

"Well this is a surprise," Ada remarked when she opened the door to find her brother on the other side of it.

"Do you have plans for this evening?" Tommy asked, deciding to skip the greetings and get to the reason he was standing outside her door.

"I don't," Ada, thankfully, answered without much thought, "is there something you need me for?"

"I need you to come with me," Tommy continued, fishing his watch out of its pocket so that he could make sure he was still on time.

"Where?" now she was answering like the Ada he knew.

"There's a show going on at the theatre...I wanted to go to it and figured you'd might want to come," he gave her some vague details.

"And what is this show exactly?" she asked, tilting her head to the side in a questioning manner.

"Just come with me, Ada," he answered in a dismissive tone, not exactly wanting to play twenty questions at this moment.

Ada pursed her lips, not happy that her brother was being abrupt with her. She took a few moments to think his proposal over, secretly loving how the wait was driving him crazy. "I'll come," she finally agreed to his plan, "just let me make sure that Karl can be watched first," she added, turning and going back into the house to find that live-in nanny and tell her that she was going out.

—

"I never thought there'd come a day where Tommy Shelby would willingly go to a ballet," Ada commented with a smirk as she and Tommy found their seats in the front row of the upper balcony. She'd been sending these little jabs his way since she got the program and realized what show he was bringing them to.

"Ada," Tommy spoke in a warning tone, having heard enough of her teasing.

"Fine, I'll stop," she conceded, although she was trying her best to withhold her giggles.

Tommy just shook his head and turned his attention to the stage's curtains. He could see from the corner of his eye that Ada had opened the program and started flipping through it. He was thankful that she'd now found something else to do. But he wasn't out of the woods just yet.

"Which of the ladies is it?" she asked after a few minutes had passed, her words making him turn to look at her with furrowed brows. "Of the women we met at the party...which one is it?" she added more clarification.

Tommy went to speak, but the house lights dimming stopped - saved - him from having to answer. A round of applause coursed through the theatre as the curtains were pulled aside and the performance began. Tommy spent the next hour or so keeping his eyes fixed on the woman he hadn't been able to rid his mind of since he last saw her at the party.

—

"Oh my, this is so lovely," (Y/N) cooed as she accepted the single flower and hand-drawn picture from one of the girls that had come backstage to meet her, "thank you so much!"

"I drew the picture myself," the girl boasted, her words making (Y/N) look at the picture to see that there were two ballerinas drawn on it: one bigger and one smaller. "I want to be a ballerina one day when I grow up," the girl added, a toothy smile forming on her face.

"You keep practicing and you may just be on stage with us one day," (Y/N) told her, an encouraging smile present on her face.

The group of girls said their goodbyes then, their mothers calling them back over so that they could leave. That was when (Y/N) looked up to see a familiar figure leaning against the wall not too far away. The breath got stuck in her throat as she became focused on him; feeling the exact same feelings she'd experienced at the party. Goodness, he just had this aura to him.

"Tommy," she hated that she said his name a little too eagerly, "I...I would have never expected to see you here," she couldn't help but voice her surprise.

"I was in town and figured I'd come to see a show," he brushed her statement off with a slight shrug of his shoulders after he pushed himself off of the wall to move closer to her.

"Did you come alone?" she just had to ask.

"No, Ada came as well. She went off to find your friend...Lou, I believe it was," he answered, glancing down at the items she was holding then. "Had I known you were accepting gifts, I would have brought one," he said, motioning to the flowers and bears she had in her arms.

"Oh no...that's not necessary," she brushed him off, trying to ignore the giddy feeling she was now getting in her stomach.

"You did well," he complimented her performance, tucking his hands into his pockets as he spoke.

"Thank you," (Y/N) accepted the compliment with a smile. She looked down at the things she was holding then, feeling the heat rise within her more with each second that they held eye contact.

"You know..." Tommy started, clearing his throat before continuing, "you should at least let me take you for a drink; since I came here empty-handed."

His words brought (Y/N)'s eyes back up to his in a flash, and he most certainly caught the look of surprise she was wearing before she tried hard to hide it. "Oh you don't have to do that," she tried to brush his offer off.

"No, I insist," he held steady, "it'd be a way to celebrate a successful show...my first ballet," he added, the final words of his sentence making her let out a stifled laugh.

"You're truly offering?" she checked with him before giving her final answer.

"I am," he nodded, a smile playing on his lips.

She had to bite back the smile that was threatening to form as she took a moment's pause. If she answered too soon, it would have looked like she was overly excited for this opportunity. "I'd like that then," she told him, hoping that her giddiness wasn't plastered clear across her face. "I need to quickly put these in the dressing room," she added, raising her arms slightly to call attention to the gifts she'd been holding.

"I'll be waiting here," he told her, nodding as she turned and walked towards the dressing rooms.

She was unable to get to them without being stopped by Julia first. "Is that the man from the party, (Y/N)?" her friend asked, her eyes swapping between (Y/N) and Tommy.

"It is," (Y/N) answered, again hoping that her giddiness wasn't too apparent.

"What's he doing here?"

"He's offered to take me for drinks," (Y/N) couldn't help but feel proud as she spoke.

A grin spread across Julia's face as she heard her friend's response, "oh so it's like that?" she questioned, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Not exactly like that," (Y/N) was quick to brush her off, "he's just being kind."

"You'll have to tell me all about it at rehearsals tomorrow...we'll see how kind he ended up being," Julia stated, winking as she put emphasis on the word 'kind'.

"It's not like that, Julia!" (Y/N) insisted, her eyebrows raised as she stressed her point in a harsh whisper.

"Don't keep your man waiting." (Y/N)'s statement was ignored, and Julia's grin only grew as she spoke, ending off with giving the other woman a friendly push towards the dressing room.

(Y/N) let out a huff as she went to quickly put the gifts she'd received down. She then hurried to get changed out of her costume before grabbing her things and heading out of the dressing room. Tommy was standing right where she left him, and she sent him a smile as she approached him. He asked her if she was ready, and she nodded, allowing the two to leave the theatre and go wherever they'd be having drinks.

—

Conversation came easily between the two as they settled in at the bar of one of the more prestigious clubs in the city. (Y/N) would have loved to look around and get lost in her surroundings but, well...she had more interesting things to look at.

They learned a good bit about each other as they sat and talked. (Y/N) told Tommy all about her rise to the company that she was dancing for now, and Tommy in turn told (Y/N) of how he made his way out of Birmingham, coming from nothing to now dealing with some of the heads of the business sphere. He also made hints at some other avenues that he's simultaneously working in, but didn't really elaborate on them. (Y/N) truly didn't need details though...she'd become so enthralled by this man that she was sure it'd take something dire to make her want to leave him.

So enthralled, in fact, that she did something that would be considered rather bold by her standards and invited him back to her flat for a nightcap. Tommy, who was also enjoying himself, accepted the invitation with no hesitation, then going to pay off their tab so that they could leave the club for the building she lived in.

Things transitioned more than smoothly to her flat. The shift in the energy between them became increasingly more noticeable the closer they got to the building, and neither said a word as they rode the elevator up to her floor, instead choosing to let their eyes do the talking as they held each other's gazes.

If she was being honest, (Y/N) couldn't wait much longer to get him behind the privacy of her door. The second she did, her hands found the lapels of his suit jacket so that she could bring him to her and press their lips together in a haste kiss. Tommy accepted it with a matched eagerness, holding her tight to his body as he deepened it.

"I'm sorry...that was a bit forward of me," (Y/N) panted once they'd pulled away. She couldn't mask the bashfulness that was coming on once her mind caught up to her actions.

"Don't apologize," Tommy told her, taking a chance to take in her features at this new closeness, "I quite liked it." A slight laugh left her lips as he finished speaking, one that sounded like music to his ears.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked him then.

"Sure."

(Y/N) nodded before she glanced down to where she was still gripping his lapels. She exhaled a breath of a laugh before releasing them and smoothing them back to their previous state. Tommy let go of her waist then, and she quickly turned to head to the kitchen so that he wouldn't see her frown at the loss of contact. He followed her to the kitchen, not really wanting to leave her side either.

"Did you enjoy the performance today?" she asked him as she grabbed a bottle and two glasses.

"I did," he answered after having to recall how the night started. It felt like it happened so long ago at this point. "You didn't have much of a part in it though," he pointed out then.

"Yeah," she answered, a bit of a lopsided smile present as she went about pouring the drinks. "I did audition for the lead in our next show though..." she paused, sliding one glass towards him before she looked up with a smile, "and I got the part!" she couldn't help but voice her happiness to this man she'd only met a week ago.

"Yeah? When is the show?" he asked, genuine curiosity present in his voice.

"It's in two weeks. On the twentieth," a fire started to burn in her stomach at the thought of him coming to see her perform again.

"Fuck," he breathed as he looked down at the glass.

This was a response she was not expecting, and it confused her. "What? Is something wrong?" she asked, all of the excitement now gone.

"I'll be out of town that day, on business," he told her, his simple sentence effectively breaking her heart. Why had she gotten her hopes up?

"Oh," she couldn't help but voice her upset, glancing up at him before she took a drink.

She looked at him again as she set the glass down on the counter, trying not to let this turn of events spoil what had been an otherwise amazing evening. Hell, she had this insanely handsome man in her flat...who was she to stand around and mope over something she couldn't control? Tommy was taking that time to look her over too, and she couldn't help but love the feeling of his eyes on her.

"We still have tonight though..." she spoke again after a few moments had passed, keeping her eyes steady on him, watching his every move.

He let his eyes trail over her face again, taking in every inch of it. He licked his lips as he thought about the magnitude of her statement. "We do have tonight," he answered then, letting her lead the interaction.

She couldn't stop from biting on her bottom lip as she thought of how to word her next question. The energy coursing between them was almost palpable at this point, and she wondered how she was able to shift so quickly from disappointment to desire just by standing in his presence. It felt like ages before she spoke again, a hint of curiosity now sparkling in her eyes: "would you like to come to bed with me?"

Tommy didn't wait ages to give his response. He broke the distance between them in seconds, his hands finding the sides of her face so that he could pull her into a deep kiss.

The kiss alone buried the upset of him not being able to attend her performance, and if it was a precursor of what would come, (Y/N) knew that this would be a night she'd hold in her mind for years to come.

——

(Y/N) hadn't had a moment to herself since she exited the stage after final bows. She was being swarmed by the fellow ballerinas in her company, who were congratulating her on a wonderful show and already celebrating their collective performance. She didn't mind it though...she was buzzing from the high herself.

"You have a few fans waiting out in the hall to see you, Miss (Y/L/N)," one of the stagehands told her once she'd finished the conversation she was having.

(Y/N) nodded and allowed the man to lead her to the door that separated the backstage area from the rest of the theatre. He opened the door for her and she thanked him before seeing the same group of little girls that had been at her last show waiting for her. She greeted them with a wide smile, happily accepting their flowers and other gifts that they came back to bring her. After many hugs and a short conversation, she said goodbye and some words of encouragement.

Standing tall again, she looked ahead of her and found the last person she expected to. Tommy Shelby was there, leaning against the wall much like he had last time, but now he had a bouquet of beautiful red roses with him. (Y/N) went over to him without a second thought.

"I brought you flowers this time," he was the first to speak, raising the bouquet slightly to accentuate his statement.

"You...you did," she stuttered out, still not quite believing her eyes, "were...were you...?" She couldn’t get a complete sentence out. Not once in the times they’d met up over the last two weeks did he mention he was able to make it to her show - they hadn’t spoken about it after that night.

"I was," he answered with a slight chuckle, a smile forming on his lips at her shock.

"Please tell me you didn't cancel your plans for me."

"I did," he confirmed what she already knew, "you're worth breaking plans for, love."

The widest smile formed on her face at his statement, and she couldn't help but close the distance to wrap her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He chuckled at her reaction, holding onto her as tightly as she was holding him. "You did amazing," he mumbled into her neck before pressing a kiss to it.

"I'm happy you came," she said, holding back her emotions with a smile as she pulled away, "so happy," she added, her hands moving to his face so that she could kiss him.

Even though she’d just given what was surely the best performance of her career, (Y/N) couldn’t deny that she’d never felt happier than she did at this moment.

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @itscheybaby @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @acewritesfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @iambored24601 @shaddixlife

MASTERLIST

[where-is-vivian]

Starchaser band au

Any trope or type

Maybe like them being rival bands but they are in a secret relationship and write and sing songs about eachother at their shows

Also maybe the media could find out about it because of the songs or something idk

gotcha.

JEGULUS. 623 words. RIVAL BANDS. AWARD SHOW.

"And the winner is... Regulus Black!"

Everyone was clapping. The entire room was suddenly plunged in the loud maelstrom of noise caused by the announcement. People stood up. James stood up too. He had been nominated in the best songwriter of the year category too, but he stood up.

The camera zoomed on his face; he knew cameras were on him, but he ignored them. He played it nonchalantly, standing up slowly, clapping like a fair loser, a little polite smirk at the corner of his lips. Truth was, he wanted to grin fully, to meet Regulus' eyes. Unfortunately, the latter had been sitting in the back, and James' assigned seat was front row.

Regulus walked up to the stage. Shook a few hands. Adjusted the microphone.

"Thank you. Thank you everyone. I am beyond grateful to be able to stand here in front of you today. If it wasn't for Evan telling me, four years ago, that I could write our bands songs, for trusting me with such an important part of our albums, I would never have gotten this opportunity."

He let out a chuckle, and waved somewhere in the crowd. James guessed he was waving at Evan, and at the rest of the Green Roses, Barty and Dorcas.

Sirius, next to James, elbowed him.

"He's being a bit arrogant, isn't he?"

James smiled downwardly, shrugging at his friend.

"You're not too upset he won instead of you? I know you two had this rivalry. I mean, our band won best performance, but..."

"No, I'm good," James soberly answered, eyes still fixed attentively on Regulus. His stylist had done his aura justice, tonight. James, at this point was not really listening anymore. He was instead drooling, in his seat front row, eyeing the man up and down in his lace top and his pretty pants showing off his ass. He only wanted one thing. Regulus for look at him. His prayers must have been heard somewhere because Regulus then looked down at him from the stage. Directly gazing at him without looking away. James didn't either.

"I've been pushed to always write the best songs. And I believe... there's a difference: between the songs that are meant to be sung, and the ones that are meant to be heard."

James grinned. So did Regulus. Both of their band's songs were meant to be heard... by each other. James knew the Green Roses' songs were about him. And he was more or less sure Regulus knew the Marauders' were about him too.

"I wrote songs meant to be heard. I wrote songs that were meant to be embodied. I think I am, today, lucky enough to say that the person meant to hear them has been able to see them performed several times."

James chuckled to himself, laughing with his nose.

"That's why I'd like to thank The Marauders. For always dragging James Fleamont Potter to our concerts. Thank you everyone," He concluded with the biggest and smugiest smirk ever, knowing look in James' direction, pushing the mic away and holding his trophy up one last time, under the scandalised and supportive cheers and whistles of the crowd.

James now couldn't stop the smirk blooming on his face. He knew the cameras were still pointed on him, and that he probably should keep a straight face. But he couldn't help it. Regulus looked so smug. Tongue poking his cheek, he ended up sliding his eyes back to his band mates. Remus, Lily and Marlene were looking at him with wide eyes from their seats. But the one that said something first was the one sitting at his right, Sirius, singer and guitarist. Accessoringly James' best friend. Accessoringly Regulus' brother.

"James?!" Sirius let out, jaw dropped but hint of a smile on his face, visibly shocked, as James struggled to keep his lips sealed into a neutral expression.

the end ;)

feel free to send more asks...

[darkfeanix]

I've got conflicting feelings about the new episode of Vows and Vengeance. Under the cut in case of spoilers.

On the one hand, great to finally have some real Taash content.

On the other hand, it feels like the people behind the podcast had only a passing knowledge of Dragon Age. The way the Temple of the Lost Dragon was handled felt too... religious, for starters. If it was meant to be sacred to the Qunari, I feel like it should have been tied more directly to the Qun, perhaps a site visited by Koslun or something like that? My understanding of the Qun is limited, but I actually wonder if they would even have sacred sites in the way that it seems to suggest in the discussion of it between Taash and the Qunari soldier.

Speaking of the Qunari soldier, there was at least one, maybe even two, that sounded a bit too feminine. I don't know which actor was voicing them, they listed a few for additional voices. It just broke my immersion a bit when one of the biggest things about the Qunari is their extremely restrictive gender roles. Could this soldier have been Aqun-Athlok? Sure. But that feels more like a Watsonian explanation than a Doylist one.

Really, the portrayal of the Qunari as a whole felt just... a little off. The whole "kadan" exchange... I could almost dismiss it as an intentional case of miscommunication, but it really feels like they were writing it to just mean "friend", when we know from past uses that it has a much deeper meaning than a friendly stranger.

Also, saying Taash will be hanged? It feels so un-Qunari like. Wouldn't they send her to the Tamassran to be re-programmed, or if not that, to be subjected to qamek? I feel like executing an able-bodied woman like Taash would be considered wasteful under the Qun, which feels like it ties back to the idea of the temple being "sacred".

Unrelated to any of the above, Nadia is really starting to frustrate me as a protagonist. I'm trying to interrogate those feelings, asking myself if her behaviour would annoy me as much if she were a man... and to be honest, yeah, I'm pretty sure it would. It's a really unfortunate combination of selfishness, self-pity, and angrily lashing out at everybody that is hitting all the wrong buttons for me. I get where it's all coming from, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Also, this is absolutely the nitpickiest of nitpicks, but at one point Drayden asks how Taash knows the Gamordan Stormrider is female, and Taash says it's the "ridges and colouring of her spine". But it's established in lore that only female dragons can grow into high dragons, so it should go without saying that the Stormrider is female, because a male wouldn't have gotten big enough to cause the damage done to the Qunari settlement.

As I said, it was great to finally get some Taash content, and I absolutely loved Jin Maley's performance in the role, but this was probably my least favourite episode so far.

[hoeratius]

okay, asking this question is maybe the dumbest i've ever felt bc it feels like there should be a straightforward, obvious answer here, but every time i've tried to look it up, i've found nothing but pages upon pages of what feels like people talking in circles and only serving to make me more confused in the end. since you're the most knowledgable person i follow when it comes to the Classics, i figured this might be a good place to ask and maybe get an actual answer? (that being said, it's fine if you don't want to/don't have the time to answer this! obviously!!)

where can i read about the older greek myths? as in pre-trojan war. mostly, i'm interested in theseus but also just pre-trojan war stories in general. i know not everything got the iliad/odyssey treatment and there's probably not any surviving text to point at in a lot of cases, but there must've been something. every time i try to look up where to read about the history of theseus, i'm being directed to a bunch of modern retellings, but google has gotten so bad as a search engine, i literally cannot find anything about the origins of this thing everybody's retelling

from what i understand, theseus was sort of everywhere sticking his nose in everything at all times, so i'm not asking for a comprehensive timeline of his whackass life and everything he ever appeared in or anything, but if you could point me in the direction of anything about him--actual plays or academic texts, anything like that--that's more credible than, like, a self-published, self-described "bold new reimagining" with a stock image of a dude in party city roman cosplay as the cover, it would be MUCH appreciated 😭

(again, sorry about how... basic this question is i guess lol? i'm very new to classics in general and still pretty ignorant about everything, so it's EXTREMELY likely that this is a very dumb question with a very obvious answer, but thank you regardless!)

Hello! What an exciting ask (and apologies for my excited and maybe incoherent answer)!

Since you seem to be most interested in Theseus, I’ll use him as an example but much of this can be applied to other Greek heroes/myths/stories more generally.

As you noted, few get the Iliad/Odyssey treatment. In fact, even Achilles and Odysseus don’t, considering the Iliad spans only 7 weeks or so, and the Odyssey misses out on Odysseus’s actions before and during the Trojan War, and after he came home – and he did a lot after he came home. So where to go to find all the other stories that happened?

Some things to keep in mind:

Writers assumed their audience was familiar with the hero’s greatest deeds already

The big boys – Achilles, Odysseus, Theseus, Perseus, Heracles, Oedipus – had their stories shared in many formats. Think of the Parthenon metopes, which show Theseus’s key deeds in sculpture, or vases, hymns, public performances, bedtime stories, etc. People would encounter these often enough that the outlines of these heroes’ stories were known to them from a young age.

One of the Metopes of the Parthenon, showing (probably) Athena and Theseus.

As a result, ancient texts never show the entire story; they select the moment they want to tell and focus in on that. Hence the Iliad focuses on Achilles’s wrath, the Odyssey emphasises his homecoming, and the Argonautica tells the story of the Golden Fleece. Similarly, tragedies will choose a meaningful moment: not all of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra’s struggles, but his return home in the Agamemnon, or the events that lead directly to Pentheus’s dismemberment in the Bakchai.

So finding one text that will give you a useful overview will be hard!

These heroes are often also connected to so many other famous characters, that sometimes they show up as a side character in their stories, so it depends on which stories capture your interest most.

Pre-Homeric texts are few and far between

But this is not to say there aren’t pre-Trojan-War myths!

There are loads! Anything with Heracles or Theseus is pre-Iliadic, and others, like the house of Pelops, link more to the Trojan War but are also separate from it. Plus, there is Hesiod’s Theogony (roughly contemporary with Homer), which tells of the births of the gods and goes all the way back to the start of the universe.

The Ovid situation

Many Greek texts are lost, and we’ve only got allusions to this or that part of the myth in the existing fragments, etc. etc. So how do we still know so much about so many of these stories?

Enter my fave: Ovid.

Far later than Homer (1st century versus 8th century BC), but with access to all the Greek texts and them some, he wrote a lot of fairly comprehensive stories. These include the Heroides, letters written from the perspective of female characters trying to connect to their male lovers, with letter 10 coming from Ariadne to Theseus, and Metamorphoses 8 with parts of Theseus’s story.

If you’re looking for a high-level overview of what was what in ancient myth, starting with the Metamorphoses will give you all the big boys and many of the smaller ones.

Theseus specifically:

I must admit that Theseus is not my strong suit, but sources I’m familiar with that I would recommend:

Hippolytus, by Euripides and Phaedra by Seneca: these both tell of Theseus’s second wife Phaedra falling for his son Hippolytus and causing his death

Catullus 64: A lament from Ariadne after Theseus has abandoned her on Naxos

Metamorphoses 8, 12, by Ovid: Snippets of Theseus’s life, incl the Minotaur

Ones I’m not as familiar with but might be up your street:

Life of Theseus, Plutarch: a historian/scholar’s biography. He had them in pairs, where he compared the two; Theseus is linked to Romulus

The Argonautica, Apollonius Rhodus: Follows Jason in his quest for the Golden Fleece; Theseus is one of his heroes

Oedipus at Colonnus, Sophocles: apparently Theseus is a major side character here but I don’t remember!

There is also The King must Die by Mary Renault, a modern retelling from the ‘80s that blew me away. The only book set in ancient Greece I’ve ever read that doesn’t shy away from how alien their culture and values are to us today and doesn’t try to sugarcoat things.

And if you’re looking for more heroes: Wikipedia is your friend!

The Classics-related pages are pretty reliable, and they often mention the main sources per character.  

I hope this gets you started but please do hit me up with more questions, I always love diving into these things!

[tachimichishrine]

"mornings and marriage"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! reader

warnings: nsfw ; morning sex it's literally just morning sex with slight fluff afterwards followed by more sex ; hard tachi soft tachi hard tachi to sum ; short n vanilla but uhhh no buts i have no excuse ; intended lowercase ; cursing ; unedited af

gentle rays of sun snuck their way into your bedroom. a soft glow of pink as the sun rose signaled that the day had only just begun, and the musical chirping outside your window provided further proof of the time.

you had a bit of trouble hearing the birds' call though, as it was muffled out by the sound of skin slapping skin and heavy breathing.

"mmmn... michi, if you want teruko to stop... haaah... demanding piggyback rides, you should just tell... nng... her."

your boyfriend was the one who asked to sleep with his dick still in you, and you told him that he was the one who was going to have the deal with the repercussions in the event that you did some kind of weird movement in your sleep and it popped right off, or some other dramatic outcome. however, the real consequence just turned out that he went to sleep and woke up hard and ready to fuck you; you told him that he would have to put in the work this morning because you were still exhausted from last night.

he was so good at taking commands; of course he was, he was a hunting dog after all. you worked in one of the ability research labs that took down information about the super soldiers' conditions in order to optimize their performance, and you'd made the first move by asking him if you could get some measurements down there. in his flustered daze of a response where he almost seemed angry out of embarrassment, you specified that you would need to measure it with your lips after you took him out to dinner. you had no idea how you got him to accept that first date.

a few years later, he grinded his hips into yours lazily. he didn't even bother to prop himself up on his forearms, just letting his weight rest on you and messily burying himself in between your legs while he told you about his day. it was actually what happened yesterday, but as soon as he had gotten home you barely let him get a word in before pulling him into bed.

"yeah, it doesn't work that way," he huffed out, chuckling a little bit when your thighs tensed and you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him in better.

your fingers slid from the mattress up to his shoulders and held him tightly when you inadvertently clenched and he groaned. "you'll never... aahhh~ know until you try. I had a coworker who pissed me off-f ah! fuck, fuck, do that again... the coworker was an asshole to everyone so I got him transferred to another division.. nng, fuck, oh god you feel so fucking good, michi..."

your voice was shaking from pleasure, and soon enough he picked up the pace in order to finish inside of you. even through the cum leaking out of your pussy, he pulled out and filled you back up with his fingers in order to not leave you high and dry. one order from your lips telling him to clean up his mess and he buried his face in between your thighs, sucking his own cum back down along with the taste of you.

"you know," you managed between heavy breaths, his teeth grazing your throbbing clit, "there's somethin' I've been mea-ahh!... meaning to ask you, and I want to ask it now. you don't need to respond, just keeping sucking on me like that, baby."

to readjust the angle, he grabbed your thigh and brought it over his shoulder to make it easier to jut his tongue in and out of your pussy. he had no idea what you wanted to talk about, but you told him just to listen and keeping eating you out, and he was more than happy to oblige.

"so, I was at the store the other day, and... hahhh... mnnnf... they had a discount for soldiers and veterans, and their families, and I was- I wa-..." you took a short break to catch your breath and flatten your feet on the bed to rut your hips upwards and chase after the addicting sensation. "I was thinking about whether you would be eligible, since you're... you know... but it got me thinking about how I wouldn't get the discount since... nnng... we're not married. and I don't really care but if we got married I'd have to meet your family... and I was just... hah, all this to ask... mmmn... if I could meet your parents."

as soon as those last words slipped out of your mouth, his mouth slipped out of you. he looked up at you with his face flushed from eating you out so hard, but even the dripping liquid around his lips wasn't enough to hide the irritated look on his face. you motioned for him to slide back up, and you kissed the mess on his face away before he could say a thing. his dick was hard enough from having heard your moans, and you slid it back in between your legs once you flipped him onto his back.

"what is it?" you humped him slowly so that he could answer, but he shook his head slowly.

"when I marry you, I don't want my parents there."

it was your turn for shock; you stopped rocking into him just to process his words.

"when? michi baby, did... did I just accidentally propose to you, and you accidentally said yes?"

he snickered, teeth flashing in his smile. "yeah, I guess so. that's hella romantic of us."

rolling off of him to lay down on your side, you giggled as he shifted himself to do the same. "sorry darling, that wasn't my goal. I was just... thinking." you took his hand and played with his fingers, nails dancing especially on his ring finger. "it's been so long since we've been together and I've never met your family."

"they're pieces of shit," he seemed to be trying to push the thought away and focus on the happier thing that you said. "you serious about the marriage thing?"

"I'm serious about you," you shrugged, "and I wanted to know what you thought about it. hell, I don't even know if it's an option given what you do."

which was a thought you couldn't get out of your mind. he would leave for months on end, unable to call you because it might blow his cover during his spy missions. you had no clue what he was infiltrating or just how dangerous it was, but with time he'd get more freedom among the ranks and have just enough time to send you pictures of himself from a burner phone, which he'd toss away as soon as you responded with your very own.

you didn't care that the relationship was like that; you were incredibly busy with your research, and everything felt comfortably low maintenance. he'd surprise you sometimes by coming home for one night and letting you make him pay for leaving for so long.

fingers danced around the outlines of his features and thumb rubbed softly against his lips while he tried to speak. he let out a content sigh and held your fingers next to his mouth to plant a soft kiss onto your knuckles. "don't worry about that. babe, you think too much, if you wanna get married I'll do it. I don't give a damn about all the other things if it makes you happy."

now you were the one smiling dumbly at him, loving it when he was soft with you. "in that case, yeah, I think I would like that." you used your available hand to wrap around his waist and pull him close, hoping to kiss him again but he was still peppering your fingers with his lips and had a grin on his face.

"I guess all I gotta do is ask you to marry me, then," he murmured, golden eyes looking up at you and lips curling upwards. you wanted to tell him again how beautiful he was but something poked your shoulder.

a wire - maybe a piece of jewelry you hadn't touched in ages - floated in between both of your faces, meticulously contorting until it was wrapped around itself in circles that would just about fit your fingers. he held the hand he'd been kissing up, and spread out your fingers for it to lower itself onto your fingertip. "[_____], will you make me the luckiest man alive and be mine?"

he already knew the answer, so the makeshift ring slid down your ring finger and you brought your hand up to his cheek while you kissed him slowly.

"I'll get you something proper once I have the time," he murmured, but you just shook your head.

"if you think I'm getting rid of this, you're the craziest man alive." you pulled him back in, and he chuckled when your bodies rolled over under the sheets. it wasn't a grand proposal, hell it was barely a coherent one, but neither of you minded the complete lack of formalities. it felt right, laying down on top of him with a ring on your finger that was dragging all over his skin.

your hand had wrapped around his erection, and you pumped him up slowly with the metal grazing his sensitive skin with every stroke. he grunted, pulling you back on top of him so that you were sitting on his lap while you fucked him on your hand.

"are you sure about the parents thing, though?" you inquired further, throbbing in your core subdued as you just grinded yourself on his thighs and watched him close his eyes at your actions. "I know you don't have the best relationship with them, but... I don't know. would be nice if I didn't feel like we were eloping or somethin'."

his lips parted to respond, but you barely realized just how merciless your pace was. you felt his muscles tense up when you took notice of his state and slowed down, the look he shot you telling you that he was begging for you to keep going, not stop. in the mornings, you didn't feel the need to tease or edge him until he was a crying mess; you just wanted him to feel good.

"yeah, I'm... fuck, fuuuuck... ah, fuck, [_____]... [_____]..." he came undone faster than you thought he would, finishing to the sound of his own voice whimpering out your name. his body spasmed and he went limp, so you decided just to let him stay flaccid and hold him gently when he continued his response. "I'm sure. those fuckers don't deserve to meet you, and I ain't even talked to them in years."

"mmmn," you hummed in acknowledgment, not wanting to push him any further given that he'd already told you about how awful they made him feel particularly after his brother's death. the question seemed to stir some bad memories, so you wiped your hand on his abdomen to keep it the least sticky possible and run it through his hair. "okay, I won't mention it again. to be honest, I think I would've ended up getting too mad at them for treating you like that. you know you're amazing, right? fuck, even if I wasn't crazy for you it'd take a real shithead not to see how strong and beautiful you are."

he couldn't handle compliments, and you knew it. he just bit the inside of his cheek while his face turned a different shade of pink and you giggled at him being so flustered over something so trivial. you smiled into his lips again, lazily kissing his breaths and murmuring sweet nothings until he seemed unable to handle it and just kissed you harder to get you to shut up. you just kept thinking about how adorable it was that he was threading his fingers through your hair just to pull you closer so that he didn't have to deal with your teasing.

you whispered his name, getting him to let go of your head so you could litter his face with butterfly kisses that migrated from his jawline to his ear to his neck. you painted him with your teeth, hickeys writing verses of your love all over him even when you bit too hard into his collarbone and pierced layers of skin. you mumbled a soft apology while he inhaled sharply from the sting, but you both knew he wasn't complaining. your thumb drew circles into his stomach while you held him, shifting down to his chest and marking him there, too.

"hey, [_____]?" he whispered, the room only echoing his gentle voice and the birds' song from outside. "training starts in half an hour, I gotta head out soon."

you frowned against his skin; you hated it when he left, but there was nothing you could do to keep him with you any longer than he already has. you repositioned yourself again on top of him, nodding solemnly while you placed a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose. "mkay, I'll finish up then let you go. I wouldn't want my fiancé to be late now, would I?"

the world felt foreign, but welcome. he thought about it a lot when you fucked yourself on him for the countless time this morning, leaning down so you could kiss him while thrusting your hips onto him. his hands were on your waist, but you pulled them off to place them on either side of his head and intertwine your fingers, hand pressing into his own as you kept grinding slow enough to trick your mind into thinking this moment was going to last forever. the bed creaked slowly under the sound of your dragged out moans and his shameless whimpers which morphed to and from deep groans.

tachihara considered just not showing up today and spending it with you, but he knew you wouldn't let him do something stupid for no reason. he wondered whether there was a way for him to get enough of a break in his schedule to throw you the wedding you deserved, but he told you his thoughts as you buttoned up and fixed his uniform for him, and you said that all you needed was him and some ridiculously large cake.

your lips lingered together for a bit too long at the entrance to your apartment, and you had him pulled in by the waist tight enough to have him pick up again on his earlier thought to just stay. he walked out the doorway, glancing back to see you checking out his ass with a playful smirk. he rolled his eyes when you giggled, and walked away but not before seeing you wave goodbye to him.

he'd never felt happier seeing that ring on the hand you waved.

[qsycomplainsalot]

So I watched Furiosa

Furiosa Road: a Star Wars Story. It wasn't likely to live up to Fury Road, and it didn't. It would have been a tall order. While it was well worth paying to see in theaters, I was still a little disappointed; I'm going to explain why, without spoilers, and then after a very visible cut I'll comment on a few specific things in the movie.

First of all it felt long, but not two hours long so I guess it speaks to its quality. Going through the cast, everyone did a good job, although I wasn't blown away by the on screen chemistry of Anya Taylor-Joy and Tom Burke. More on that later. Chris Hemsworth as the overarching antagonist is this movie's standout performance, in a way that I'm somewhat conflicted about. More on that later too.

Overall it feels as if, after making Fury Road a trim and thrilling movie, the creatives behind it strung together all the piles of amazing ideas they had left on the cutting room floor into another complete movie, but not a very cohesive story with a beginning middle and end with enough connective tissue to captivate an audience. There's no shortage of props, costumes, characters, stunts and just straight up visuals, although the music is not up to the standards set by Fury Road. What's really missing is a tight knit script.

I'd say watch it if you like the franchise, otherwise I'd just wait for it to release on small screens.

My biggest complaint with this movie is that it's split between two relationships, between Hemsworth as Dementus or Tom Burke as Jack with Furiosa, when really with how it's paced it could barely afford one. I am just completely confused by people saying Jack and Furiosa's relationship was the highlight of the movie, it was vague, bland, and Jack died before I could really care about him. All this relationship did was explain how Furiosa became so good at driving a war rig, despite the fact that by this point in the movie she'd fended for herself just fine, presumably using what she'd been taught by the vuvuzela tribe. Likewise Dementus as a character is extremely simple, in a good way, and is the a better representation of time passing in the movie than literal text onscreen telling you it's been fifteen years or some such. It's on the nose, but Chris Hemsworth is acting his heart out and it's always a joy to see him on screen. He's spiraling his way through the movie in a perfect exemple of what Furiosa must avoid becoming. So knowing that, the main plot should be about Furiosa having to lose her way home (the star map tattoo on her arm, which we know she lose by Fury Road) and choose to stay at the Citadel to kill him, setting up a bitter ending where she's gained nothing and is stuck killing more people instead of letting go of revenge and going home. Unfortunately Furiosa: the video game: the movie very much lives in the shadow of its 2015 sequel, and so the plot is split further to set that up. I've talked about how it hurts the pacing and how much screentime the other characters could have gotten, but I think it actually greatly diminished the ending. The end of Furiosa has her catch up to Dementus, bind him and beat him up, asking him to give her her childhood and mother back, only for Dementus to refuse to play along in anyway. He tells her that revenge achieves nothing, that he knows from personal experience and that she can kill him however she wants, that he doesn't particularly care. I don't do it justice it's a pretty good end to his arc this movie. Instead of Furiosa killing him there and then and validating that speech for a cohesive theme to the movie (keeping the hope stuff for Fury Road where it works), the history man voiceover tells us that although the true end of Dementus is disputed, Furiosa told him the truth, that she kept him alive with a peach tree growing out of his dick ?? And then she brings the peach to Immortan's wives in the Citadel, and then the credits are interspersed with shots from Fury Road. I can excuse the impossibility of keeping someone alive while a tree is growing on them for the sake of Mad Max movies very much being wasteland fairy tales, but I think directly linking Furiosa: Road One with Fury Road like that is both pointless and very hamfisted, on top of being a big disappointment when it comes to Dementus' character. Like the guy was clearly fucked up from losing his daughters just kill him and be done with it. Anyway yeah I don't think I'll rewatch this movie nearly as often as I rewatch Fury Road. Shoutout to the Octoboss though, he's the Most Valuable Sidecharacter of this movie.

[electricfied-wolf]

So... you've been reblogging a lot of Starlight Express onto my dash and I feel like it's about time I ask what it's about? What I'm picking up is that it's... humanoid trains?

Whatever it is I must admit it's piqued my curiosity

OHHHH BOY YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY AUTISM CARD I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT STARLIGHT EXPRESS. Ooookay, there's a lot to talk about, especially because a new non-replica production like JUST opened in London. I feel like I'm gonna ramble a lot so we're gonna put it under the cut and I'm just gonna blab until I feel I've explained it well enough. First of all I should note that I am explaining just off the top of my head, if you'd like more info the Starlight Express wiki is run by some very committed folks and as far as I know every word on that wiki is true. Also if you'd like more photos you're gonna have to go there bc GUESS WHO LEARNED THE LIMIT FOR PHOTOS IN A SINGLE TUMBLT POST IS 30? ANYWAY ONTO MY RAMBLE!!!! And be warned, it WILL BE VERY LONG. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.

What is Starlight Express?

Starlight Express (often abbreviated to Stex by the fans) is a musical produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber (yes the CATS guy) that revolves around a child's toy trains "coming to life" and having a big ol' dramatic race. They've got an underdog, a couple bad guys, train god and romance. Pretty much everything. Most productions are more song filled than dialogue filled. It has its roots in Thomas & Friends and some of the earliest stuff had a Cinderella type of thing going on (not surprising I'm sure), the plot is actually pretty easy to follow once you get used to it. Starlight Express is performed SOLELY on roller skates (not counting lndn24's scooters for the Trax and Control) for the entire duration! And in such heavy costumes too! The show has been performed since 1984 and has absolutely ZERO signs of stopping as the Bochum, Germany production is still being performed and as I stated above, there is now a non-replica production running at the Troubadour Wembley Park Theatre in London. And if you don't know what that term (non replica) means, it essentially means they are not using the traditional costumes for the show that John Napier designed and are taking quite a few liberties with a newer plot and characters to make the show something much more unique as compared to its replica counterparts.

An older version of Rusty and Pearl in the John Napier style (left) VS. Rusty in the style of the London 2024 production standing with ALW (right) _ I specify 2024 London as the show was originally produced in London but also got revised so there's like three London Stex productions I could be talking abt lol, though the costumes have gone through some pretty drastic changes even in the replica productions.

Electra's more recognizable costume (aka the more compact mohawk version of red/blue Electra) used up until the rehaul in 2018, and the one currently used in Bochum's performance of the show (aka used from 2018-now). The same character and both replica, but still different! Over the course of the many years these trains have shared our earth, I'd say that Greaseball and Rusty are amongst the few that haven't changed that massively over the course of the show (again, NOT counting the current non-rep). This show has indeed graced the US and was even performed on Broadway! Unfortunately, us Americans are really really boring apparently because the show (while still wildly successful) did not stick around here in the states. It is still however beloved by many and that is the sole reason why it has stood to be seen for 40 years: people can say the show was made on drugs and that its "weird" all they want, but Starlight Express has a bigger community than you'd think, and it is incredibly well loved by those in the community. We are VERY devoted to our trains. Despite everything though, it has never gotten a pro-shot and the only fully versions available for streaming (...in terms of official audio for official streaming) on places like youtube and spotify are the original 1984 London Cast Recording and "The New Starlight Express", aka the revised London production's album released in 1993. There is also the english and german version's of Bochum Starlight Express' "Ich Bin Ich" otherwise know as "I Am Me", but no other parts of that production have been released for streaming. You can technically stop here and just go on to the wiki and stuff but if you wanna spend like an hour listening to my infodump I AM going to keep going.

The Characters

Before I touch on the story (a much shorter section I assume) I feel it is important to explain the characters, as there are a LOT and they change depending on each production and long story short yes I am nowhere dear done with this post. The characters can be broken up into groups of which I'll introduce them by. I also cannot really do London 24's characters which I wish I could bc I'm dead obsessed w/ it but it literally just opened a little while ago so the only sharable photos of other characters I got are fuzzy and from the megamixes or backstage pics. So unfortunately no cameos from those guys in this post but trust me THE WEMBLEY PARK PRODUCTION IS SO GOOD. Uhm anyways. First I'll mention the Trax/Racing Marshals, no speaking roles and very simple costumes compared to the other trains. They're simply there to wave the flags for the races and perform other tiny tasks to move the show along, as well as doing some very cool stunts that the other performers cannot do due to the absurd weight of the main costumes. They're just as important as everyone else!

The Marshals (Bochum 2016) *note, I'm mainly going to use Bochum photos to show off the costumes because they're just usually better quality The Humans: Usually disembodied voices (with exception from two productions) our only humans are a little kid named Control, and their mom who is simply known as Mom/Control's Mom and also has an even smaller role than her child as she only comes in at the introduction to put Control to bed. Control is OBSESSED with trains which grants us the plot of this musical, over the course of the show they order the trains around and narrate the races, but (up until recently) typically don't play an active role in terms of properly interacting with the trains. They are, as their name suggests, the Control for the trains. In Bochum's performance 2018 and onward Control mentions having a grandmother who is hard of hearing, but to my knowledge said grandma is only brought up in that specific production. The National/Competing Engines: For pretty much every production excluding WP's, the non-main character racing competitors have been international trains from across the world. However their names and some of their designs have been changed over time, and the French engine even switched genders in the 2018 Bochum rehaul. I am excluding the doubles from the tours because this'll take all day if I don't. _______ The French engine- Essentially from the beginning up to 2018, Bobo the TGV. In/after 2018 in Bochum, Coco the Eurostar. Arguably the most changed of the nationals, originally a male character (Bobo) she was changed to be a female and even given a blue color scheme which Bobo usually never had as he was typically seen with orange colors in Bochum.

(Bobo (Bochum) and Coco) _______ The Japanese Engine: Originally Hashamoto (misspelling of Hashimoto but technically that's his official name), later changed to Nintendo in 1992 for all english language productions but still Hashamoto in Germany, and from 2018 onward in Bochum known as Manga. All three are labeled as Shinkansen bullet trains.

(Hashamoto (Bochum), Nintendo, and Manga) _______ The Russian Engine: Turnov the trans siberian express has literally just been Turnov this whole time and really he's hardly changed aside from his costume having to have its chest symbol changed due to obvious reasons. This poor guy has suffered greatly due to political stuff even all the way back in 1987, though I will avoid getting into that here.

Turnov (Bochum 1991), Turnov (Bochum 2018, ft. Manga) _______ The German Engine: Weltschaft originally, later named Ruhrgold, the german engine is the InterCity Express (ICE). Like Turnov he hasn't really gone through many major changes other than the original switch from Weltschaft to Ruhrgold, though the two are presented with very contrasting personalities.

Weltschaft (Bochum 1991, ft. C.B.), Rurhgold (Bochum 2018, ft. Espresso) _______ The Italian Engine: ESPRESSO! He's a fun one, very similar to Bobo in that they're both pretty flamboyant european engines. Not really similar to Coco though. Espresso's a silly fella, flirts with the audience sometimes. His design has also been pretty consistent.

Espresso (Bochum 1988), Espresso (Bochum 2021) _______ The British Engine: Our pathetic failure king <3, aka the engine that literally never races as he usually breaks down before he's meant to race. Like every time it's got to be one of the most consistent plot points across 40 years of showtime. Even through three different transformations this british loco cannot escape it. Originally named City of Milton Keynes, later Prince of Wales upon the opening of the broadway production, and in 2018 hit the stage as Brexit. Yes, you heard me. They named the British national engine Brexit, and no none of us are particularly proud of that but it is how it is. At least he's got some charm!

No images of Milton are available atm, Prince of Wales (Las Vegas, 1993), Brexit (Bochum, 2018) _______ OKAY WE'RE DONE WITH NATIONALS. We can talk about the important ones now.

So next I'll move onto our main trio of engines. Rusty, Greaseball, Electra. Lots of design altercations over the years but no name changes and basically no role changes. However, the most recent production involves a female and wlw Greaseball as well as a canon they/them Electra! We'll go engine by engine, talk about our trademark "old steamer", and then I'll move onto the cars. _______ Greaseball, the world racing champion of Union Pacific: Heavily greaser based with muscles that make coaches and freight cars alike swoon, Greaseball is a black and yellow diesel and one of the antagonists of our plot. He's the world racing champion at the start of the show. Dating Dinah (both at the beginning and by the end despite some issues) the dining car, VERY proud of himself and pretty damn self absorbent in pretty much every production. He is also NOT that nice. He was pretty terrible in the very original plot back in the day BUT DON'T FEAR! They very quickly edited those plot points and made him less terrible and more of just a really pompous jerk. Bochum GB is actually such a goofy guy by the end. His female counterpart in the new production doesn't lack her meanness either! She's just as big of a jerk but also just as big of a softie by the end of the show. Truly, the same in every universe. Being a girl and a lesbian does not destroy her asshole tendencies and I am glad for that. Let gay girls be jerks too!!!

Greaseball (London 1984, ft. Pearl, Dinah, and Ashley), Greaseball (Bochum, 2021, ft. Caboose)

_______ Electra, the engine of the future: QUEEREST PRE-2024 STEX CHARACTER WHOOOO? Despite never having been fully confirmed (at least up until recent) to be any specific non-cishet identity, Electra the electric engine has been an icon for the girls and the gays since day one. With he/him pronouns but a slightly feminine name and physical demeanor, it's clear he was made to represent a less traditional form of gender presentation as he has been played by actresses in the past too, though primarily has been portrayed by male actors. Andrew Lloyd Webber even once referred to Electra's main song, AC/DC, as "transgender electro-pop". Not to mention the casting notice for the 2019 Bochum cast having described Electra as 'gender fluid / androgynous'. Electra has a pack of "components" aka his freight car entourage who follow him around and sing his praises. He is also one of the antagonists, though antagonist is a bit of a strong word as he isn't as hardcore as Greaseball or our villainous railcar. He has more beef with the diesel than our main character as well, stealing his girl and the show at every opportunity. And also aggressively zapping him as often as possible. The only thing they have in common is that they're full of themselves, they want Rusty out of the race, and they want to win. No photos for Electra I gave him his spotlight earlier in this post. Though do remember that the newest version of Electra (got a little sleek helmet instead of hair, super pointy costume, blue and silver colors) is NOT he/him, they are they/them and so is their current main actor! Electra is accompanied by an entourage of "components", aka shiny and fancy freight cars that bend to the engine's every whim. Pre-2018 the components are Wrench the repair truck, Joule the Dynamite Truck, Volta the freezer truck, Krupp the armaments truck, and Purse the money truck. Post-2018 the components are Wrench, Volta, Joule, and Killerwatt the security truck, Krupp and Purse are no longer present. It is also important to note that pre-2018 Volta is portrayed as very feminine meanwhile post-2018 Volta is meant to be much more masculine. No photos for Electra they got photos earlier in this post and I'm trying to save myself from hitting the photo limit. Same for Rusty. _______ Rusty, the steam train: WOOO WOOO! WOOO WOO! Say hello to the titular bitchular that everyone loves. Seriously I've never seen a Rusty hater. Our main character and a timeless gem of the show, he's a pathetic wet cat, he's rusted and falling apart, and he meets god. The perfect man! Rusty obviously has the greatest arc over the entire story, he's our underdog and incredibly charming in all his forms. Overtime some actors have played him up as sassier while others amped up the wet cat energy (Looking at you, Javeen), but no matter how he's played you will feel sorry for him and likely fall in love with him. He's so overconfident at the start but is very quickly brought down by the other engines, fear not though, because he's the main guy!! I'll yap more about his whole thing in the story section. _______ The old steam engine: Had to make the title gender neutral w/ these guys bc GUESS WHO ELSE GOT GIRL'D IN 2018! Poppa, or in terms of Bochum 2018 and onward, Momma, is Rusty's mentor and the only other steam engine in the show. Quite stubborn, preachy in more ways than one, but ultimately good at heart. They're the engine that pushes Rusty to race and encourages Rusty to seek faith in the Starlight Express (Eyyyy title drop!). Most of this engine's role is story related too so I'll save that for then.

Poppa (Bochum, 1997, ft. Rusty), Momma (Bochum, 2018, ft. Dustin) _______ The freight: For the convience of I'm afraid to hit the word count, we're gonna lump the cars into whole sections. Minus one specific member of the freight due to plot significance. Anyway the freight!! Lots of people are big fans of them and I can't blame them. Though they went through a few changes here and there, they're usually a pretty consistent group (once again, minus 2024). From 1984 to 2003 they contained the boxcars aka the Rockies, then productions between 2003 and 2018 included the Hip Hoppers, with the 2018 rehaul marking the return of the Rockies to the show. All productions included Flat-Top the brick truck and Dustin the big hopper, and while Dustin does play a significant role in the show...there's a certain sixth member that plays the greatest role of all the freight. _______ The Red Caboose: Though his Bochum rehaul design spells out "brake van" on his shoulders (even though brake vans aren't cabooses, rant for another day) and he's gone by the Red Caboose for far longer, most know this beloved boy as CB...buuut the version that is widely marked as CB isn't technically CB! That was his original name in regards to the radio codes he used throughout the show- "10-4, smokey bear!" -C.B., 1984 "10-7, gone to heaven!" -Included in the segment after the first run of the final race -but his original name was dropped upon the entry to Broadway, from then on he was just the caboose, and he continues to be so to this day! No matter the production...or at least the ones he's in, he sticks out from the start as one of the guys to keep your eye on. And I'm sure you caught that, that's right, he's not even in every production! Though he is in most of them! His role is another plot heavy one so I'm sure you get the deal by now.

CB (London, 1984), Caboose (Bochum, 2006) _______ The Coaches: The girls, the lasses, the women, etc etc!!! Full of lovely ladies (again, not mentioning 2024's changes) and honestly the true stars of the show in my eyes. In this group is where you'll find our other main character! But would you believe they've also undergone swaps? Originally it was Pearl the observation car/first class carriage, Dinah the dining car, Ashley the smoking car, and Buffy the buffet car, and it remained that way for a long time...but there was an odd period in which Ashley was replaced with a sleeping car named Duvay, though Duvay didn't last very long in the grand scheme of things. Upon the 2018 rehaul, Buffy and Ashley were replaced with Carrie the luggage van and Belle the bar car. Belle actually shares her name with a coach that was present all the way up into the broadway production, though not really used afterwards. Belle the sleeping car was a companion to Poppa and while not part of the main quartet of coaches would usually appear with the other girls for Girls Rolling Stock! Broadway did OG Belle dirty but that's another rant for another day. Again, for simplicity's sake, we'll only individually cover the gals you absolutely gotta know about. _______ Pearl the observation car/first class carriage: Pearl girl!!! Very near and dear to me, our secondary main character and Rusty's love interest. The label for what type of coach she is varies from production to production, all you need to know for certain is she's a super shiny new coach and Rusty is absolutely INFATUED with her...but she's her own coach too, and she's not as quick to settle as he is. She makes it very clear that she wants her choices to be her own and she's not going to let someone else make those choices for her no matter what. She has her own little arc too. While in older productions Pearl is painted as being new but still having an established bond with Rusty, newer ones (aka bochum and london's current shows) paint Pearl as a completely new coach who doesn't know anyone and literally just got here, making her and Rusty's relationship a bit more fleshed out...but we'll discuss that more later!

Pearl (Bochum, 2011), Pearl (Bochum, 2019) _______ Dinah the dining car: HARD to not just ramble about how much I adore her. I am her she is me we are the same person, ESPECIALLY her 2024 variant same taste in women fr. A southern accented (usually) dining car, Dinah is Greaseball's partner with honestly a very inspiring little arc of her own, she's emotional and devoted to her partner but is not to be mistaken as someone who can't stick up for herself, because she makes it crystal clear that she's not someone to be pushed around. She was given even more of a powerful and independent personality in the 2018 rehaul/london revival, but she's always had fight in her from the very beginning!

Dinah (Bochum, 1993), Dinah (Bochum, 2018) AND WHOOPS TOO LONG OF A POST FOR TUMBLR. I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT THE PLOT IN THE REBLOGS HOLD ON TIGHT. EDIT: I AM GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A SEPARATE POST NOT A REBLOG BECAUSE TUMBLR WON'T SAVE THE REBLOG AS A DRAFT.

[divineerdrick]

The Warhammer Preview Show: Warhammer Day 2024

I'm once again liveblogging my reaction to a Warhammer preview, and I couldn't be happier!

Why?

Because the Preview was live again!

If you've followed my Warhammer Liveblogs you know how much I hated that they moved to prerecorded live shows. And I wasn't the only one! But once again the studio has listened to the community and it looks like we've got live shows back.

This is one thing I will constantly press about Games Workshop. Being less than a billion-dollar global company, in a niche hobby, means they still have to respond to us. If we make our displeasure known for long enough, and it impacts their sales, they have to act. If even 1% of Warhammer fans don't buy the latest and greatest product that GW releases, it hurts.

It also helps that they're under UK corporate law instead of American corporate law.

And I have a feeling from some of the things I've seen on discount retailer sites, that certain big releases have been under-performing. So hopefully this is the first in some course corrections.

Give San Guard their wings back!

I'm still wondering about what's going on with how few releases have been announced for Christmas. They do seem to be pushing War of the Rohirrim more than I was expecting, so maybe they really are trying to just let releases breathe instead of smothering them. I'm wondering how Necromunda Secondus and Mechanicum performed given how they released along side Age of Sigmar 4.0.

Honestly I think that most Warhammer fans hold GW products as being the best in the market. When they start taking a downturn, we start asking why we're paying so much for them. I think GW really should go back to a slower release cadence of higher quality products. Releasing both of their major game systems back to back in essentially a beta state should not happen. There's no excuse for 10th Edition Eldar to release one summer only for 4.0 Nighthaunt to release the next. And the less said about 4.0's Regiment system the better.

All and all, I'm still really excited for this Preview. I'm not expecting too much right now, but I'm willing to be surprised. For now, just having a live Preview is enough.

Enough rambling! Onto the Preview!

Preshow

Our hosts today are veterans of the Preview shows, Alex and Nick. This was one of the first things that got me excited when I checked in on the stream after discovering WarCom was down. After some of their traditional introduction, including asking for location shout outs, Alex tells us what we've got in store. The reveals today are for Underworlds, AoS, 40K, Kill Team, and Legions. Legions in the past hasn't gotten a lot of love in these Preview shows, so I'm hoping for a little better presentation this time around.

But then Nick slyly cuts in that those are just what was announced, and we should keep our eyes pealed. I've heard some rumors already, but let's see what they actually tease for us.

Underworlds

We're starting with GW's original Skirmish game set in the Age of Sigmar. I'm still really hoping that Warcry gets some love again soon, but I'm betting Underworlds must be just slightly outperforming it.

Oh wow! So with the new edition of AoS out and the story advancing with the Vermindoom, the team has decided to release a new edition of Underworlds. And this edition looks like it will also start with a Stormcast verses Skaven box.

They're once again pushing that accessibility factor with this new edition. I will say this much, other than a few sticking points I have I don't really feel this push to accessibility has resulted in any "dumbing down" of these editions. Probably the worst offender was Kill Team 2nd, and they've undone some of that. Admittedly they pushed the worst part even more . . . Still I feel that 40K 10th and AoS 4.0 are still very tactically deep games. And that, at the end of the day, is what really matters.

And unfortunately we're probably never going to see this push to expand the audience through accessibility ever go away. Businesses in the current corporate world live and die through growth. There's only so much money GW can wring out of their current audience. There has to come a point where GW expands their audience, or investors will leave and the company will decline.

Unfortunately that's tricky to do when you also keep raising the prices of starter products.

But Underworlds has always been relatively inexpensive compared to GW's other products. It's a perfect example of creating a stepping stone into the larger hobby. Buying a board game style starter box with only a few push-fit miniatures to assemble and paint is much easier than buying and painting something like Skaventide. And GW looks to be leaning into that.

They're really throwing a lot of long looks into the miniatures and the board. Still, no matter how much time they spend here this is never as good as the bright, close-in pictures WarCom usually has later. One advantage of the Live previews is we often get to see some of those ahead of time. Hopefully Nick and Alex will focus in on some like they used to.

Here's our box reveal.

And you're making me nervous Nick. This is very similar to a lot of those prerecorded shows. Now that the reveal trailer is done I don't want to be here having someone presenting a prerecorded message on why I should want to pick this up. I want to be back in the studio, with chat, getting live impressions and active responses to questions and feedback from you and Alex. You got me excited for a live show, Nick. Don't turn this around on me.

Uh oh! It's a reset! Normally, this would have me excited. But there are two things that make me nervous here.

The first is that this game incorporates cards and deck building. If they're completely updating the rules, does that mean previous cards won't work anymore? Will we have to get new decks for any warbands we play?

The second is Kill Team. In case you didn't know, Kill Team just introduced a Standard style rotation that means that eventually your Kill Teams won't be legal in competitive play. Many classic Kill Teams already don't have rules in the new edition. Now many of those Kill Teams are still perfectly fine for casual games . . . for as long as GW writes compatible rules for them. But eventually you won't be able to play a given Kill Team without going back to a prior edition of a game. That's fine for collectors who have lots of friends going back to previous editions. But for most LGS communities, that creates a problem.

I'm guessing Underworlds will work in a similar way. I don't know if any previous Warbands will get retired, but they'll probably introduce a cut off point and then rotate out older Warbands eventually. You'll probably have to go buy a new deck for any of the older Warbands to use them in the new rules. This is all just speculation, but it's speculation based off how GW has been running their other games.

This may be a small point to some, but it's a legitimate up-sell to me. GW has gotten considerably better at creating and designing rule books. They've gotten much easier to read in recent editions of their games and much easier to use at the table. I'm hoping they continue to refine them. Also their apps have gotten better too for looking up the latest version of any given rule.

We're also going to single boards, war scrolls, and they're defining Warbands with stat systems to help you understand their play style. One thing I'm not sure of is the replacement of card art with miniature photos. I kind of liked the way the cards added some of that great GW art into the game. I'm not sure how well the various cards will depict the action if it's just still photos.

All and all the new edition looks good, but I've got questions that are going to need answered.

Back in the studio we've got some great shots of the miniatures - not sure I'm liking the sculpt around the eyes for this one - but we're not getting any community interaction yet. There's no point in these being live shows if we don't have any response to the community feedback and questions!

Hm . . . We've got them just talking over these repeating slideshows. I'd honestly prefer to just seem them sitting their and talking to each other to gauge their live reactions. And while I'll admit that this is a new edition, and there's a lot to talk about, they're kinda just going over what the presentation showed. Yes! I'm going to harp on this! I want community interaction, dammit!

Okay, here's one point answered. The starter set is going to come with four decks in it, one based on each of the now named play-styles, Strike, Take and Hold, Flex, and Mastery. These decks will be playable with any Warband. So any of the old Warbands that receives rule updates can use these decks to start with.

It looks like with other recent new editions, we'll get our first chance to see this played at a GW event. In this case it's the Tampa Open, which is next weekend! So we'll probably learn a lot about the game in the coming days.

. . .

And now we're moving into the next part of the show. No questions taken, no feedback, not even a glance at chat. I'm not happy.

Age of Sigmar

And it's just the Warhammer Day miniature. We've already seen this. It's a pretty cool looking miniature to be sure, but why are we covering it here?

My hype is draining away.

Same thing with the Darkoath. Though this looks like it might be a box set, and that means it might have some new miniatures.

Oh! While they didn't show it, this is the announcement for the Slaves to Darkness Battletome. I did miss that this box set is the Darkoath Spearhead. So this will be our first big release for AoS 4.0 following Skaventide.

We're getting a new release for a Sorcerer Lord outside of the Warhammer Day model. This one sounds like it will have a few options for it. Hopefully we'll see these on WarCom.

And here's our Battletome reveal! It sounds like they're doubling down on how little changed between the Skaven Index and Battletomes. This is potentially bad as some of the AoS armies need some real changes.

We are getting a new Army of Renown, Be'lakor's Legion of the First Prince. So hopefully that will bring something interesting for AoS players to experiment with. It's my understanding though that Regiments of Renown aren't seeing much play right now. But we can wait and see.

Speaking of! We've got a nice rules preview here of a new Regiment of Renown that can be included in any most of the god-aligned Chaos factions. The Daemon Prince gets to keep it's Gift of Chaos that it would have claimed in an S2D army and gets the relevant faction Keyword too. However, I can't imagine spending a drop on this the way AoS 4 currently plays, unless they change how drops work in the next rules update.

Battleforces

They didn't mention any universe transition, just that big boxes are on the way soon. My guess is this is our first look at the holiday boxes, which will probably included both 40K and AoS, maybe Old World if we're lucky.

These are all themed after detachments. The Tau box is obscured, but we saw it earlier in the preview, and is the Retaliation Cadre. This means that this is probably a sneaky reveal of one of the new Imperial Knight Detachments, the Valourstrike Lance. Though that sounds suspiciously like it might be a rename for the Noble Lance.

I'll note that none of these battleforces are Chaos themed. We've got three Imperial battleforces and two Xenos. But there looks like there's a lot of value in these kits. That Tau box has a Riptide in it, the Knights have a Paladin and four Armigers, the Sisters comes with two vehicles and a pair of Penitent Engines, the Necrons get the Void Dragon, and the Dark Angels get The Lion. I'm not gonna add everything up here, since I can't see exactly what everything is, but that's over $300 worth of Knights.

And just as I suspected, we immediately go into AoS boxes.

We're only getting four here, Maggotkin, Cities, Iron Jaws, and Flesh-Eaters. One for each Grand Alliance. These don't appear to be based on any Regiments or Armies. And I'm not seeing anything popping out at me for high value items.

These are indeed our holiday boxes. As with recent years, these are designed to go along with the intro boxes. So if you get a Combat Patrol or Spearhead alongside one of these, you'll have a pretty decent collection. Whether they match well with previous Battleforce launch boxes, I'd have to check. But at the very least, I know the Dark Angels one didn't have The Lion in it.

They're saying they're supposed to match Regiments in AoS. I only checked Iron Jaws, but looking through the others they also don't match any current Regiments. So these might be renames or new Regiments coming in the Battletomes.

Hah! They even just mentioned that the Cities of Sigmar force can represent different Regiments! So maybe there wasn't any actual consideration made there at all.

They also just brought up that there's duplication with the Morbheg Knights. So not so good there for the AoS portions either.

Warhammer Armoury

They tease that no one knows about this reveal yet. But it's an Officially Licensed product, so outside of games I'm not sure how much interest there will be.

Warhammer Armory! Okay, you have my attention.

Also, gee! I wonder what's about to be revealed?

There it is! Ghal Maraz! (Subject to GW's approval.)

i haven't gotten my hands on any of these, but I really want to see if I can. I just love stuff like this. If my father's business could get them to sell, we would in a heart beat.

I still have my Slayer of Kings. It's sitting right next to me. I'd honestly love to collect more stuff like this.

Legions

So we've already had Mechanicum for Legions revealed, so they're starting off by going into the lore. I guess that's one way to try to pay more respect to the specialist game. Still I'm hoping for more news for Legions.

"Now you're probably sat at home, thinking, "Games Workshop we've already seen these." It had crossed my mind, yes.

Dark Mechanicum! While they haven't shown any traitor specific models yet, the new rules will allow you to field these models in both Loyalist and Traitor forces.

But they're not keeping us waiting for long! This is the Serperos Heavy Stalker. Looks like it's a near Titanic scale model for the Dark Mechanicum. Like most of the new Mechanicum stuff, I'm totally here for this.

I'm also still hoping to see some even larger creations hitting Titanicus and Legions. Say a certain class of Titan that hasn't had an official model for a while . . .

And book reveal! This book will apparently have the rule for playing both factions. So hopefully we'll see more force specific miniatures in the future.

A Special Surprise

Something a bit more lighthearted. A feast in the field, huh? Blood Bowl? Don't they already have halflings?

40K! I know what this is! Apparently Death Korp isn't all the Guard is getting!

"Make a pie crust from compressed cardboard and fill it with a tin of Munitorum issued nutrient paste." Yummy.

I'm so here for this!

These ratlings look fantastic and have so much life and character to them! This is a fantastic addition to the Guard range!

Oh! It's a commemorative model! Boo! I want this to be a part of the main range!

Oh well. Looks like I'm picking up at least one thing for myself this year.

Kill Team

They teased more ratlings, but look at these Boyz! More proper Orky miniatures! Yes!

And there's our new ratlings! Look at the bulldog!

So I guess the next Kill Team box is Orks verse Ratlings. So much for the idea that the next team would be Storm Boyz. Specifically this is Ratling Snipers verses Tankbustas.

All of these miniatures look pretty bespoke. The ratling kit is definitely new, but that doesn't look like an upgrade sprue on the Orks either. I'm wondering if all the Kill Teams will be new kits from now on?

This Kill Team set will include a bunker terrain piece and missions for trying to defend the bunker or storm it. Sounds like a fun time.

The holiday miniature will also have a mission for trying to steal the food for their provisions. So there's another fun detail.

Hmm. New animation or game?

Bandai Namco? Guessing game.

Oh! I was wrong! It's an animated short! Looks like a free one too!

Our next preview will apparently be in November, for the Championships and Grand Narrative Campaign. I'm hoping they do a better job there.

But as the sign off, they hit us with one more teaser.

Final Thoughts

I've apparently hit my image limit, so I'm not gonna go into more details on the miniatures. But on the whole they were fantastic. Not the biggest fan of the Stormcast models for Underworlds but the Skaven models were cool. All the other new models, especially our new Kill Team set and commemorative mini look fantastic! While this Preview was light on new models, what was shown was great!

And that's all the good I have to say.

So this did definitely need to be a Preview because they were revealing the new Underworlds. But honestly, they could have made the whole show about that and I think it would have been better. The Kill Team reveals were good, but the rest was stuff that would normally just be a WarCom article. So they may as well have just dedicated it all to an Underworlds deep dive and left the Kill Team stuff for later.

And while I think this was better than the prerecorded stuff we got before, this might as well have been prerecorded. In fact I'm sure there are gonna be people who accuse this stream of being prerecorded. There was zero interaction with chat. Yeah, they asked chat to call out where they were from like they used to, but then didn't acknowledge any responses. Chat might as well have not been there, and that means this might as well not be live.

This isn't okay! And while I appreciate the nod to the old format, this was honestly something where I wanted to see designers talking about what they were doing. I don't want to hear Nick and Alex talking about the new mechanics and design ideas of Underworlds, I want to here it from the people who made the game! While I didn't like the mock interviews, there's no reason not to have the designers on there talking about what they're excited about.

Between lack of meaningful reveals and the misuse of the live format, this is still a fail. If the last review was a student handing in a print-off from Wikipedia with his name on it, this one was two guys who threw together their paper at the last minute. This will probably be my last liveblog for these. I'm certainly not gonna do another one until I see meaningful changes in the format.

[howdy-folks-its-showtime]

It's Showtime! - June 2024 Devlog

Howdy! Cobalt here, for another devlog over It's Showtime. This month was actually really swell, especially since I got more of my adhd meds recently. So I should be getting way more done in the coming months, yippee!

Programming wise, not a lot was done this month I've mostly spent it changing a few things about the way the map is built. Particularly I'm gonna need to rebuild most of the first floor. However in the long run it should be for the better, for stuff like performance and making it easier to add more to it. I also just needed a break after all I did last month. I have created things like the base for the main menu, a proper testing room and a lot of coding for the cut scene system though!

Writing wise, a ton of progress was made. Most of the major writing for Chapter 1 is done! Or at least on a great first draft. So very soon Chapter 1 will be done writing wise. [For the record currently the in depth writing for Chapter 1 is 7,122 words long] Chapter 2 also had a significant amount of its in depth writing done, almost all of the 'intro' is written out but obviously I'm trying to focus more on Chapter 1 right now. Speaking of the other chapters and such. Chapter 2's summary is almost done, with some things just needing some elaborating or bridging with other parts of it. Chapter 3 has 3 thousand words written in its summary currently, so a lot of what goes on in that chapter has been written out. I recently had a ton of revelations about what is going to happen in Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 has also had a lot added to its summary. Sadly, writing wise, I simply cannot reveal much more without getting into spoilers.

I've also been learning Blender a lot lately. I'm working on a few models, none of them for It's Showtime quite yet. [well besides the walls and floors for the first floor] However soon I'm gonna be trying to make Henry's first model and animations for the game. Probably won't be the final one used for the project, or even the one you'll see upon chapter 1's release, but we'll see. Sadly, a lot of this process is simply tutorials and looking things up, then double checking those things to make sure they can be used in Unity, aren't performance heavy and will work with the systems I've already got in place. Art wise, me and my partner have gotten a lot of fun concept art done.

We've also started a sketchbook purely for Encore! related drawings. We've got so much fun stuff to show you guys when more is done, but for now, I'd love to show off a proper look at Henry's design.

Here we have Henry's reference, specifically for his in-game appearance.

The sketchy reference made for modeling him out. Yes, he is tastefully nude in this appearance. That's just the way it has to be.

Then finally a rough run cycle I animated to show off his character and as practice for when the proper 3D gets made. I'm really proud of how this came out and I hope it gives you guys a good idea for what to expect from him character-wise. As always, feel free to ask any questions about this project and its story if you'd like. I'll do my best to answer them without giving too much away! See you next month!

[666writingcafe]

Check-In

A Text Conversation Between Levi and MC

Levi: How have you been doing at the castle?

MC: It's quiet. I've been able to relax and focus on my studies.

Levi: That's good.

Levi: Everyone's arguing again.

MC: Not surprising.

Levi: Would you like to know what they're arguing about, or do you want to talk about something else?

MC: Diavolo just asked, "What are they arguing about?"

Levi: Didn't realize he was with you.

MC: It's more like I'm with him. I've been staying in his room, you see. He wants to keep an eye on me. Plus, it's soundproof.

MC: And before you ask, we've just been talking or working. Nothing freaky happening here.

Levi: I see.

Levi: Well, Asmo thinks that Mammon got a little TOO excited watching you read your lines earlier and that he needs to learn how to control himself. Apparently, he gulped loudly as he was watching you.

Levi: I wouldn't know, of course. I was too busy looking over my lines because I didn't want Simeon yelling at me.

MC: Makes sense.

Levi: Anyway, Mammon's upset because Asmo thinks that he has a dirty mind.

MC: Doesn't he, though?

Levi: That's what Asmo said.

Levi: Meanwhile, Satan's been complaining about every single aspect of our performance.

MC: I mean, he DID help come up with the concept for the play, as did I.

Levi: I know. He still shouldn't be such an ass about it. His critiques are more like insults than anything constructive.

Levi: And now Belphie's thrown himself into the ring because he feels like everyone's disturbing his sleep. Mammon thinks that Belphie should sleep in his own room if he doesn't want to be disturbed.

Levi: Belphie - "Mind your fucking business and let me sleep wherever I feel like sleeping."

MC: Diavolo just busted out laughing.

Levi: I glad he finds this amusing, because I don't.

Levi: Anyway, Beel's now in the argument. Belphie ate his cake without permission, you see.

Levi: Belphie apparently did it to get back at Beel for eating his pudding.

MC: Speaking of food, if there's anything in the fridge that's mine, make sure it isn't expired. If it is, pitch it.

Levi: And if it's not? Do you want me to drop it off to you?

MC: Sure.

Levi: *thumbs up emoji*

Levi: Asmo - "Speaking of pudding...Mammon, you need to pay back the money I lent you."

MC: ASMO????

Levi: I know. Surprisingly, Mammon doesn't owe me anything.

MC: How does he jump from PUDDING to MONEY?

Levi: I KNOW!

MC: Diavolo - "Perhaps his sugar daddy calls him pudding."

Levi: *gif of someone gasping*

Levi: *gif of someone laughing*

MC: Diavolo: "Do you think that if they keep arguing, they'll wear themselves out to the point of going to bed early?"

Levi: Not sure.

Levi: Lucifer just walked in the room.

Levi: Lucifer - "Why is everyone arguing?"

Levi: Everyone but me, because I'm not an idiot - "Shut up!"

MC: *gif of someone going 'oooh'*

MC: ^ Diavolo.

MC: *eek sticker*

MC: ^ Me.

A Few Hours Later

Levi: No one's talking to each other anymore.

Levi: I mean, I've tried, but I've either gotten the silent treatment or got told to go away/shut up.

MC: Diavolo wants to know if you want to come over for a bit.

Levi: To get away from my brothers?

MC: *thumbs up emoji*

Levi: I appreciate the offer, but I'll be fine.

Levi: They do this sort of thing all the time. They'll end up forgetting about it eventually, and then everything will be back to normal.

Levi: Besides, the quiet will allow me to focus on costumes.

MC: Diavolo - "The offer still stands if he changes his mind."

Levi: *thumbs up emoji*

[ell-vellan]

WIP Wednesday

I haven't done one of these in a long time because it feels like everything I write lately is dull and boring, but I'm trying to break out of the little box I've put myself in.

Tagging a few people who I thought might have a bit of work to share, but no pressure: @thebookworm0001 @the-grandest-plan @thegoblinwitchqueen

And please take this as an excuse to post your WIP even if I didn't tag you!

Content warning: this is a "should we have a baby? and how?" conversation between El/Bull with...unconventional options, lol. so it's under the cut!

They'd talked about it, just the once. When El had gotten her courage up and tentatively asked what he’d meant that time, way back in the beginning, that they didn’t have to worry about pregnancy. 

Bull had explained the way tamassrans perform a reversible sterilization procedure on every Qunari when they got their assignments around age 12 as though it were a normal mark of growing up. Something like her vallaslin. The tamassrans, of course, would not allow any unauthorized reproduction under the Qun. Everything was strategically, meticulously planned, even the bloodlines of their people. Children were not simply born, but created with a purpose already in mind. Breeding stock. Like her people did with halla.

Unless they were specifically chosen later in life to be part of the breeding program and the procedure undone, there would never be any accidents or surprises, he'd told her. 

She hadn't expected the strange mix of emotions that welled up in her throat, choking her. Couldn’t control the strong reaction from showing on her face that arose before she could hide it.

“Hey, hey, come here,” Bull said with surprise as he pulled her into his arms. “I'm sorry, El, I should've explained a long time ago. This conversation usually comes up earlier. Or not at all.”

“No, I’m fine.” She shook her head and tried to step out of his arms, but he wouldn't let her leave. “It’s not like it was a surprise. It's just..."

“There was a reason you asked."

El sighed. “It's foolish. Go ahead, you can say it. I know. Obviously I should ever have expected…Of course we can’t have children. What a ridiculous notion. I mean, at the very least, our jobs--”

“It’s okay,” Bull murmured. “You’re allowed to want stuff for yourself, El.”

“I want you. That's enough. I shouldn’t still be holding onto silly dreams from childhood. Yet somehow...until just now, I hadn't yet confronted the fact that my life will never be as I once thought it would."

She was irrevocably on a different path. Even if she could have a family with Bull, it wouldn't be a Dalish one.

“Your future looks a little different than you imagined,” Bull finished quietly. “I know. Same here.”

“Nothing about my life now is how I imagined it. Not just this. It's not the first time my plans have had to change.”

Bull made an unhappy sound. “You want kids, though? Even if it’s a ways down the line?”

Ellawyn hesitated. “I want children in the same way I want most other impossible things. I want to be rid of this anchor in my hand. I want to not be Inquisitor. I want my normal life back. It's just yet another reminder that my life isn’t my own…But it doesn't quite matter what I want. I’ve learned better than to make plans.”

He made another sound of dismay. “Yeah, but this is one thing that’s not impossible for you. And I don't like you giving up shit you wanted from life. You already got dealt a crappy hand with everything else. The war's over, the Inquisition doesn't need you anymore. You can do whatever."

She turned in his lap to face him, her expression grave. “You’re acting as though this is still possible. When you just told me that it isn't.”

Bull hesitated. “I...could get it reversed." Slowly, deliberately neutral. A statement of fact, not necessarily an offer. "It's possible, in theory. Tamassrans leave that option open on purpose."

She stared at him. “But you don’t want to.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But it's what you think.”

Bull looked at her, lips pressed tight, and exhaled a sigh through his nose. “I’m wary, is all. It’d be dangerous for you. And there’s no guarantee it would even work.”

And then he told her there was another option. 

She balked, immediately. “You want me to sleep with someone else?”

Bull held up his hands placatingly. “Only way to have an elven baby is for that baby to have two elven parents,” Bull said evenly, watching her carefully. “You told me how precious elven children are in your culture. And I’m not the jealous type. You know that.”

“But…” 

Everything felt weak and watery inside her. He was right. She couldn't have an elven baby and Bull’s. It wasn't possible. 

She would have to choose.

Bull was entirely too calm. “I'm saying it's an option I'm okay with, that's all. Not something you have to do. And nobody's saying you have to decide anything right now, either."

[den-ai-d]

Ooof...a decade on this site eh?

Oh no, story time incoming!

10 years and yeah, so much has happened already. Originally, I made this blog back when I was in high school as a place to post my drawings; back then, it was all just pencil drawings on paper. Looking at them now...well it was obvious I still had a long way ahead of me LOL. And to think some people assume that everyone skilled enough in art must have had some innate talent for it. CLEARLY, they don't know what they're talking about because I was terrible at it early on!

But I mean, I didn't really think that of my art, did I?

No. In fact, I'm pretty sure that kid me was very much impressed with his own works. See, that child had a very bloated ego and a high opinion of himself. You should ask his poor friends; I'm sure they'd agree that the bugger could take a few lessons on humility with how he'd be sharing all of his silly sketches to them and pontificating on and on about how nice he thinks they are. Yeah, I was an insufferable kid.

But I do think that overinflated ego of mine turned out beneficial for my growth as an artist because without it—without my love for my own art—I wouldn't have stuck to it.

And stuck to it I did.

Went to college soon after that and took a program majoring in biology. Not much of a surprising choice since I've always liked the sciences and figured it would later on give way to a stable career; funnily enough, while I was very passionate about making art, I never thought it would be a profitable source of income. But that didn't mean I'd stop doing it on my free time though! Actually, this was when I got myself my first tablet! And what better way to start my digital drawing experience than to buy a FUCKING EXPENSIVE cintiq!!! With the extra motivation coming from the monetary pressure of such a purchase, you bet your ass I used the hell out of that thing. I was so intent on making use of it that—would you look at that—I still use it to this day! (Wow, they really made those old wacom tablets to last, didn't they?)

Obviously, college work ended up taking a lot of my time so I couldn't really draw as much as I did a few years ago. There were even times when I could only make one painting throughout a whole month; a far cry to my previous output. But even so, I never wavered in thinking that making art—being an artist—was something that was part of my identity; it was something that I always will come back to, no matter how much busy I got contending with course work.

And speaking of which, fuck that! Got my first honest-to-goodness mental breakdown because of all the studying I was doing at one point. See, I'm the type of student that likes getting good grades because BIG NUMBERS so I made it a point to be studious. To the point of insanity, apparently.

Anyway, I got better eventually and it all turned out nice. Even snagged all the awards I could've gotten for my thesis by the end of it! Yes, I am bragging. I deserve it, thank you very much! (For anyone curious, it was a study about plant pigments and using them in solar cells).

After that debacle, I found myself whisked into Adulthood which meant I finally had to find a job. Guess I was lucky since I didn't really have much of a hard experience searching for one. Got accepted into a cosmetics company for a lab position. Hmm, in hindsight, I think they just wanted a fresh graduate who wouldn't demand a high salary and that was me so I got in pretty easily. And honestly, the work was AWESOME. My job ended up with me coming up with formulas for new products. I got to make lotions, shampoos, soaps (ugh, I hated that one), perfumes, toners, balms, scented candles, and—oddly enough that one time—glue! It was a wonderful experience for me since it blended my interest in science and art with how it required me to think of creative ways of applying technical solutions in order to make products that needed to look, feel, smell, and perform a certain way.

As a bonus, I even got to make stuff for myself! I was particularly fond of making creams with menthol. The soothing chill on the skin is just so nice!

It wasn't all good though. I mean the menthol was fine and dandy, I assure you, but even if I was enjoying myself with the work, it just so happens that it just wasn't giving me enough money to provide for the family. Also, there was that one time I splashed chili oil on my eye. A very eye-opening and spicy turn of events to be sure.

With the bills stressing the hell out of me, I then thought to myself: if only I had a marketable skill that I could use in my off time as a way of engaging with a hobby whilst earning money.

Yup, I started my singing career!

LOL no. I opened art commissions for the first time!

It was a very scary experience, mind you. I don't consider myself a social butterfly and the prospect of talking with other people in a transactional context was a big reason why I haven't even considered doing it all this time. Turns out being poor and running out of money outweighed such concerns. Also, my keeping up with art and posting them online all these years seemed to have payed off well; my twitter having then recently crossed over a thousand followers which meant I had a decent pool of potential clients!

And so I bumbled through my first few commissions trying to appear professional and all put together in front of my clients while consistently shitting myself on the inside. Just like all well-functioning adults!

It was October last year when I started. I figured that I wouldn't have much in way of commissioners—what with being new to the business—and that was fine since I didn't have much time to put on them anyways since I did still had to go to work on my day job. What mattered was that it gave me enough of a financial buffer so that I didn't have to worry too much about going under.

This continued to the turn of the year where I was able to juggle both my job and doing commission without much of a hassle. In fact, I noticed that people were actually really interested in getting commissions from me. So much that at one point...I actually made more money in a month than what I would've with my monthly salary! At that point, it was so over! Like, I originally was planning to at least observe how things went within this year and then decide after if I would just keep it as a side gig or go full-time with art. Turns out I was much more impulsive than I expected.

It was on a bright sunny February morning (no cinematic storm clouds in sight, unfortunately) that I decided on a lark to approach my boss at work and tell them that yup, no joke, I was gonna be leaving. I handed my resignation letter a few days later.

I would've liked to say that it was a tearful goodbye with my cherished co-workers whom I've spent the last five years of my life with but...COME ON, I barely talked with those people! Instead, it was a lukewarm farewell between people who just happened to work in proximity to each other. Eh, like I said, I wasn't much of a social butterfly and no one really made an effort to get to know me so oh well. MOVING ON!

Actually, I couldn't just up and leave because there are laws around these kinds of things so I worked there for another month but all that was a blur. Soon enough, I was officially unemployed!

So like I mentioned earlier, I full on did not expect doing art as something that would bring in much in way of income. My parents too thought the same. They said that yeah, art was a good hobby but as job? Let's be serious here! Well, turns out we were wrong all this time. With me fully dedicated to commission work, I was able to take on a larger volume of clients. Not as many as some of you go for (I'm looking at you, people who take ten or more commissions per batch, you monsters!) but enough that I was actually making a stable living! And yeah, WAY more than my now previous job. What an absolute shock to everyone involved; me most of all.

Now it's almost the end of the year, my plans having all but shattered into tiny pieces. Tiny pieces that scatter with the wind as I look back on the past ten years that has led me to where I am today. A lot of time has passed. I graduated high school, college, then got a job. Then graduated from that too. Certain people have come and gone. Some more permanent than others. I've lost friends and made new ones. Tumblr got fucked. Twitter got fucked. The world stopped for two years. For some, it's still stuck in those two years. I made glue in a lab. Almost lost an eye in a lab. I bought chips with my very own money for the first time. I loved people. Hated them too. Things have happened. Things have changed.

I certainly am very different from that kid who was having troubles fitting in with others from his class, what with being bullied and suffering through a particularly angsty teenage (oh my god I was CRINGE). A kid who often sought drawing as an escape to all of those terrible things out of his control.

I guess I'm happy I can still relate to that kid.

[maybeanartist02]

sacrarium pario modern au // trivia night

summary: Violo and Vivere join their friends at a local bar's trivia night. There, they cross paths with the charismatic performer Anne.

2.7 k words, violo has a cochlear implant, vivere is chronically ill, heimos is a little bitchy

"This body was submitted by this man's daughter," the research manager explained. Violo stood in the lab of Pario Research Facility where he worked, speaking to two fellow researchers who were there to discuss a new body Violo was assigned to examine. The manager was a tall and callous woman who Violo struggled to tolerate outside of work. She, along with the other Doctor, was there to speak to him about the newly donated body.

"Their name is Ayad Amsel-Faris. They passed away four months ago, but the daughter only recently was able to process the paperwork for handing them off to us," the shorter doctor explained. "I am unsure how that happened, but regardless… we have the body now, and should be able to conduct our research on it. According to the daughter's account, Ayad had many allergies, skin conditions and were frequently misdiagnosed. Their death was written off as a natural cause, but the daughter believes they were ill."

Violo lifted the sheet laying over the body, and peered under it. Like all corpses, the person's expression was a bit disturbing to most—but Violo couldn't see, so it wasn't problematic at all.

Ayad was a brown-skinned person with a square jaw that was almost entirely covered in vitiligo and psoriasis. Their hair was also white, and seeing the state of them, Violo wondered how no one else suspected something to be wrong. Violo had to feel his way over the body to determine the psoriasis, and Eva told him about the rest.

The body reminded him of Vivere—uncomfortably so. It made him uneasy, but also gave him some hope; if Violo could find Ayad's cause of death… there was a chance it was related to the disease he was researching. This body… could be the key to all his woes, and all his fears regarding Vivere.

Swallowing the apprehension in his throat, Violo spoke eagerly:

"When do I begin?"

—

"A trivia night?"

Violo's voice curved up with the questioning echo of Necare's words. Necare nodded, a smile on her lips. The group of neighbors who lived on Warden Street 35 were gathered at Amare's place, for one of their usual monthly game nights. The five inhabitants of the apartment complex had gotten close after meeting at a renfaire a few years back and discovering they were neighbors. The friendship had been set in stone since then.

"It's a pretty new thing, meant to generate more traffic for the bar. We been kinda plateauing, so she's experimenting with new events to draw in customers."

"Will his hearing aid even be able to register the person hosting it?" Vivere asked, frowning. Despite Violo's frequent reminders that he could handle himself, Viv had a habit towards overbearingness. Violo rolled his eyes.

"Most people don't speak in a way easy for my implants to interpret easily anyway. I'll manage. I'd love to come!"

Vivere pouted, "I know… but I can still worry about your comfort."

"Well, I don't think it'll be a problem, to be honest," Necare shrugged. "Anne's the one hosting, and I speak to her a ton. Her vocal range goes crazy—if we give her a heads-up, she'll make an effort, but if we don't, she'll still enunciate well." Necare grins, "She claims to be a lyricist, but I've heard her vocals—she's a vocal acrobat, I guarantee. Low or high, she'll hit any note you give."

"Mm," Amare hummed, taking a sip of their tea. "Interesting. She performs at the bar?"

"Yeah," Necare nodded, "writes her own songs, but sings a bunch of covers too. Got a few rumors floating around, but she's always been upfront with me."

"Rumors?" Amare questioned. For the first time in what felt like ages, Heimos spoke up.

"Is this Anne Amsel-Faris?" he asked. Necare nodded, and he scoffed, "In that case… I've heard a few. Word on the streets is she's a volatile little shit."

"Volatile?" Viv asked with a frown. Violo was hung up on the surname—had he heard that name somewhere before? Necare waved a hand.

"Lotsa people got lots to say 'bout her. I hear she's busted a few kneecaps 'round town. I can't imagine her doing that unprompted, though. I'm sure the bastards deserved it."

"Who decides who deserves what fate, though?" Amare said gently. "I am not questioning your judgement, Necare. Merely the notion of personal justice."

"I hear she's got a few slighted lovers," Heimos added.

"Oh come on," Vivere laughed, "like that's a crime."

"It's possible she alone's gotten around more than you two combined," Necare joked, gesturing at Violo and Vivere. The lovers smirked, leaning into each other in such synchronization it almost looked planned.

"That's not that impressive," Violo said. "We're particular people!"

Violo and Vivere's relationship had a set of rules to follow. As far as sexual relationships went… they weren't limited to each other exclusively. Romantically, though… they weren't against the idea of partners outside each other, but the caveat was that they both had to like the person. If Viv disliked a man Vio wanted to date, Vio would drop the poor guy, no questions asked, and vice versa. The two didn't mind triads, and often shared interest in people and things, but they also found they had a bit of jealousy, and a tendency to preferring each other over their third that led them to dialing back on three-ways.

In short: sex was free game, but dating required some prerequisites to be met, and some rules to be reevaluated. The two hadn't found a long-term third yet, though, and considering the two had been dating since they were 16, it didn't feel like they'd ever add a lover to their relationship.

That being said, they were prone to flights of fancy, and one-night stands. The group of friends was vaguely aware, and none of them minded—it just meant they did not really have anything against people who fucked around a lot. That courtesy seemed to extend to Anne, too.

"I wouldn't think too much on the rumors," Necare shrugged. "Lots of them aren't favorable to her, and unfair. She's a good kid—sweet and fun. Simple as that."

"Well," Amare set their teacup down, "I'd be happy to join. It sounds like a fun night."

"I'm definitely in," Violo grinned, "can't let you have all the fun, after all."

"That just leaves Heimos," Vivere said, nodding towards him, an arm around Violo. Heimos rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I don't care. I'll come, I guess."

"Woo!" Necare cheered, "Group Excursion!"

—

The Clover Gate Karaoke & Bar was a little place in the walkable downtown area of the city, and a place that Vivere has drawn in his sketchbooks many times. It's a picturesque place, visually, but even so, he'd never been inside before tonight.

Necare is waiting by the door when they arrive, and Violo greets her with a hug she warmly returns. With Violo's hand tucked into Vivere's arm, and Necare gesturing for them to enter, the five neighbors head inside.

The inside of the bar is spacious; to the left is a rounded bar counter, with drinks stacked to the ceiling. The seating area consists of a few bar stools by the counter and countless round tables. There's a stage at the back, and a balcony over the bar and front doors. A few groups are already seated, but more steadily pour in while Necare gets them all seated.

The neighbors are chatting about things—work and creative projects and local news—when their chatter is interrupted by Necare calling out to an approaching lady.

"Anne! Hey!"

Vivere looks up to find a tall-ish woman approaching the table with a tray of drinks and a smile. The first thing Vivere notices is curly, fiery auburn hair, the color of a dying bonfire. The second, is the vitiligo spreading over her skin. The third is the tight fitting tanktop, miniskirt and delicate jewelry around her wrists, fingers, neck and dangling from her ears. Star and butterfly are the common denominator in her accessories, as far as Vivere can tell.

Fascinating.

"Evening, all!" she greets with a wink, setting the tray down on the table, "Nix here," she gestures to Necare, "put an order in for you all, so I hope she got your order right. If she didn't, well, take it up with her."

The group shares a round of chuckles. The positive feedback seems to empower her and cause her to glow from the inside out.

"We got a glass of wine, straight whiskey, beer, and tea, mead and absinthe?—" she says, pointing at each beverage, "is that all right?"

"I'm surprised tea is in there," Amare notes, "is that a special for tonight?"

Anne smiles, "It's a new permanent feature. When your options are as limited as mine, the boss takes pity," she giggles. She waves a hand, "anyway, I take it you're here to support Necare for trivia night, right?"

Necare pouts, "what do you mean, support me?"

Anne presses her lips together and shrugs coyly, "Who's to say? Maybe I meant nothing by it." She shrugs as she retrieves the tray.

"We're here to enjoy the event with her, yes," Amare confirms. Violo scoffs.

"Speak for yourself! I'm here to win."

"In that case, I'm glad we're all on the same team," Viv rolled his eyes, "you two are horrible to witness compete." He leans towards Anne, "they are far too combative to keep any competition healthy."

Anne giggles into a hand while Violo whines at his boyfriend, "Viiiiiiv! That's not true! I can very well lose sometimes."

"To him, maybe," Heimos scoffs. "Everyone else knows you suck at losing."

"Well then," Anne interrupts slyly, "let's hope you win then, huh?"

"Hey, while you're here," Necare says, "shouldn't you be setting up? Why are you running drinks?"

The shift in demeanor is not noticeable to the group, foreign to Anne's mannerisms as they are, but she deflates, ever so slightly.

"Yeah, well, Winston called out last minute. We're a bar-tender short now, and I didn't want them to stress all night." She shakes her head with a fond smile, "it's no biggie. I don't need that much for the event, and I'm sure the band can buy me a little while."

"Oh, alright then," Necare nods, then smiles. "Next time, just call me in. I can handle running drinks for a night."

Anne smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Will do. I should get to running—enjoy the night! And good luck!"

With that, Anne was off to the bar with a wave.

"She was… lively," Heimos mutters. Amare laughs.

"She's cute!" Necare says. "Come on, Viv thinks she's cute, right?"

Vivere shrugs, "she's good at her job. I… can see why people call her flirty." He snorts, "I'm sure the winking and giggling gives many the wrong idea."

"Oof, yeah," Violo nods. "She's funny! I can see why you'd like her, Necare."

"Why d'you care so much if we agree?" Heimos asks dryly, then smirks, "you into her or something?"

"No… not like that!" Necare shakes her head. "She's just… you know. Someone I'm rooting for! With a bit more ambition… she could take the music industry by storm, I'm sure."

"But she lacks the ambititon needed?" Amare questions further. Necare shrugs.

"Pretty much. She says she's fine working here the rest of her life, but… that's a long time to be working at the same place. I feel like I'd get bored."

"You would," Vivere snorts. "Maybe she prefers the monotony. Different people have different preferences, after all."

"True!" Violo nods, "she seemed pretty happy to be hosting us. I wouldn't worry too much. You're friends—she'll probably be honest with you if you express your concern."

"She seems like the honest type," Amare nods along. "If you're worried, communicate that to her. I'm sure she'll either confide in your, or put your concerns to rest."

"True," Necare nods. "She's a real down to earth person. I can trust her judgement call I think." She clapped her hands, "Anyway! Violo, you said work's picking up steam again?"

Violo brightened. "Oh yea! We got a newly submitted body I get to use for my research. Super interesting. I'm meeting the donator on Monday to talk about lived symptoms and medical history."

"Sounds like you'll have your hands full soon," Amare says, then smirks, "should we count you out of game nights for the foreseeable future?"

"Ha!" He laughs, "you wish! I'm sure you'd like for me to sit out, with how often i beat you."

"You don't beat me that often."

"Please do not start this now," Vivere groans.

—

Anne hastily hooks up the laptop to the stage screens. The band is buying her some time with a musical intermission, but it's a closer call than she'd like. She cusses out the tech in her mind, but takes care not to verbalize her irritation. She's changed out of her previous outfit already, and when the trivia page opens on the screens behind the band, and cheering erupts from the crowd, she signals to her coworker, Bailey, that everything is good to go.

Anne jogs to the stage stairs, then takes a moment to catch her breath, put on a smile, and saunter onstage.

As the spotlight illuminates her, she beams at the crowd, waving as she struts out towards the mic. She wears a pair of bedazzled jeans, patterns of vines and roses drawn out with sequins sewn into the fabric. With it, she pairs stiletto heels and a red off-shoulder top that hugs her chest just right. Her trademark star-hoop earrings are paired with a choker, rings and bracelets.

She knows she's dressed to impress. The wolf whistles from the crowd are nothing new—a part of her enjoys the positive feedback.

Anne makes a show of bowing before stepping up to the mic.

"Good evening Clover Gate community!"

She removes the mic from the stand and steps back to allow the crowd to applaud her.

"I see you're all in high spirits," she grins, "good, good! Tonight we're offering a new kind of entertainment to you lovely folks: Trivia night!" She begins to pace the stage as she speaks, the words only vaguely following a bulleted script, "Apologies for the delay, the racoons got out of the attic and stole my dress. Hence the new look," she curtsied to the laughs. "The way this will work is simple. Each table creates a team. Shout the answer the questions to win points. The winner gets a trophy of various snacks and free drinks for their next visit!"

A sea of cheers and whoops sounds out, and Anne smiles brilliantly.

"You're all eager to start, I see. Well then, without further racoon-enduced delay… let the games… begin!"

Anne made a show of clapping twice, implying that the clapping was what caused the screen to change to the first question. She gestured to the screen, theatrically, making the crowd laugh more.

"Here's an easy one to start us with: what is the universal blood donor type?"

Violo's voice rung out just barely before someone else's did, "O negative!"

"Correct!" Anne pointed, "Two points for team 15!"

That got the ball rolling pretty quickly. Anne continued to lay the charm on as she listed off the questions. She realized quite quickly that team 15 was dominating. At one point she was forced to put them in timeout just to give others the chance to answer, but she didn't silence them for long—that'd have been unfair to them, after all.

Anne had a weird skill for balancing humor and justice, for keeping the atmosphere light in a way where the brief timeout didn't ruin the table's night. She called for it lighthearted, laughingly, joking about them having Trivia Gods on their side.

Two hours later, Table 15 was given a plate full of snacks, and five coupons for free drinks on their next visit—they'd won by a closer margin than they expected to, which was thanks to Anne's interfering. The interference wasn't meant to hold them back, but instead served to give others a chance to speak. So, in that regard, it had served its purpose.

With that, Trivia Night had run its course. The neighbors of Warden Street 35 made their way home together, tipsy and a little high on adrenaline. Anne stayed late to help clean before making the longer trip home herself.

She arrived home with the sunrise, collapsing on her couch, and exhausted breath escaping her.

[modern-day-bard]

Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 23

I take a few calming breaths before pulling back to look into his glazed over eyes.

"I haven't even gotten started with you," I smirk, despite the fact that my voice was still breathless.

Javi returns my smirk, and competitive embers take flame within me.

"You think I'm kidding?" I challenge.

"I think I'm the only one still fully clothed, and you're still out of breath."

I draw one finger down the middle of his chest, and even the thickness of his sweatshirt is useless against the shiver it pulls out of him. "You're right. We should fix that."

I tug up the hem of his hoodie, and he assists me, dragging it up the rest of the way. He has a crisp white t-shirt underneath and the motion releases a new wave of his scent, making me sigh. My face flushes, and I hope it doesn't connect those particular dots.

I shimmy off of his lap onto the floor, propped up on my knees in between his legs, which earns me a protest from Javi. "Let's move to the bed." He reaches for my arm, but I playfully smack it away.

"I like the view of you here," I run my hands up and down his thighs and his jaw tightens. Continuing my smirk, I unbuckle his jeans feeling giddy. My giddiness spills over into a giggle when I have to ask him to help me pull down the fabric where I need it to be. My laughter gets caught in my throat when I take in the size of him once again. Due to the nature of our filming schedules and jet lag, Javi and I hadn't taken our time with each other before. We usually wanted to be with each other and spend the rest of the time getting to know the other better. Though we left plenty of time for sex...I still hadn't performed this aspect yet, nor him on me. I have butterflies in my chest, and though most are from excitement and anticipation, some are from anxiety. John was incredibly particular about oral. So much so that it took all of the fun out of it. It usually felt like a lesson, and I always seemed to be failing. But I have been dying to do this with Javi for weeks, if not months. Lessons be damned, I want to taste him.

Javi makes one final, half-hearted attempt to say that I don't need to, and we should move to the bed. I just shake my head. "If you don't want me to, I won't," I say, wrapping my hand around the base. His hand grips onto the armrest. "But I've wanted to taste you for so long." At that, Javi groans, leaning his head back. I take it as my sign to continue.

I keep my hand firmly wrapped around the base as I slowly lick the head in a smooth circle. He's already hard as stone from my grinding on him earlier, and I feel a new wave of pleasure that getting me off had turned him on so much. The thought brings me to take him in my mouth, causing a multitude of curses to cascade out of Javi's mouth. I look back up at him, and he's staring at me now. His swollen lips are parted, taking in sharp, quick breaths. And there is the slightest tint of pink on his cheeks. My chest swells with pride, and I take him in deeper.

"God, you're incredible," He whispers, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. The intimacy of the gesture only encourages me further, bobbing up and down now on his length. I use my hand in the same rhythm, occasionally taking it so far back that I nearly gag. Even still, I have no shame staring into his eyes the entire time. The typical chocolate brown of them seems to have grown impossibly darker, and he's looking at me with a possessiveness that causes throbbing between my legs yet again. I can't help but move my free hand to try and ease my own ache, and heat flares in Javi's eyes. He starts stroking the side of my face.

"My needy girl. Taking me so well," His rough, dark voice sends a shiver down my spine, "How good does it feel knowing you take me like no one else ever has? How wet does that make you, Ava?" In one quick movement, he leans forward and spanks me. I moan around him, quickening my movements both on myself and him. He twitches in my mouth, but suddenly he pulls me back by my arms, and I frown as he stops me.

He chuckles hoarsely at my expression. "If you don't stop, I'm going to come way too soon. And I have other plans for us tonight." He guides me up so he can plant a hard kiss on my lips. "Go over to the bed," He orders.

I stand up on wobbly knees and walk as fast as they'll take me over to the bed. When I turn around to sit, I see that Javi is not far behind me. He left his jeans by the couch, discarding his t-shirt as he stalks over to me. I drink up the sight of him, my eyes unabashedly scanning every inch of his body.

"Take off your shorts," he says, only a foot or two away from the bed.

I obey, wordlessly hooking my fingers on the waistline and tugging them down. My face grows impossibly hot at the fact that I'm not wearing any underwear. But any thoughts of embarrassment have been taken over by pure arousal. I lean back on my elbows, knees apart, enjoying the way his breath hitches at the sight.

"Come to the edge," his voice is no higher than a whisper, and no darker than the night.

I scoot towards the edge, lying backwards as I do. I jump a little when I feel his hands meet my thighs, gentle, calloused hands exploring all of my exposed skin. I watch him inspect every inch of me before he looks into my eyes again.

"Spread your legs."

My heart hammers in my chest, and I want to curse at him for taking so long. My legs shake as I separate them, and I nearly choke on my breath when he lowers himself to the ground in front of the bed. I have a half-thought to object, knowing first hand how desperate he must be for release at this point. But something about his grip on my hips keeps me there without saying a word.

Javi picks up one of my ankles first, kissing at its base before moving all the way up my calf. He repeats the action on my opposite ankle, moving all the way up my calf. Thankfully, this time he continues all the way up my thigh, spending a significant time on my inner thighs, nipping and sucking gently. I bite down on my palm, my other hand gripping the sheets. He traces circles on the outside of my right thigh while he keeps sucking on my left. Every time I think he's moving closer to where I really need him, he moves back down just a few inches. It's driving me beyond thought, beyond reason.

"Javi," I moan, trying to find the words to tell him what I want.

I feel him chuckle against my skin.

"I need you," I near gasp as his hand wraps around my hip, keeping me in place. "You're going to make me pass out again if you keep doing that." I half-chuckle, but it's breathless.

Suddenly Javi pulls back, slapping me in between my legs, almost enough to be considered forceful. Much like he had in the pool. The memory and the sensation make me moan louder.

"Not funny," He scolds, glaring up at me from where he is still kneeling on the floor.

Regardless, he finally leans down and licks a strong swipe where I have been craving. I whimper, bucking my hips up for more. Then his hands around both of my thighs, holding me to his mouth that now covers me completely. Delivering a mixture of slow, tender strokes and fast, harsh ones.

"Yes," the words rush out of me, "God, yes." One of my hands releases from the sheets to grip his soft brown curls. I tug lightly, and he groans at my pull. His groan sends shivers down my spine as I feel its vibration run through me.

Soon I am a whimpering, panting mess as he changes to only fast and harsh strokes with his tongue. He occasionally repeats the same sucking he was performing on my thighs, and it feels ten times as delicious now. My stomach tightens and I know that I'm close. I try to tighten my muscles, not wanting to let go of the pleasure he's giving me yet. Javi notices.

"C'mon, baby. Give me another one." He says against my skin. My knees shake. "Be a good girl and come for me." He delivers another perfectly aimed slap, and I tumble over the edge, gasping his name over and over again.

As I finally come back down from my second high, I take a full breath and look down at Javi's smug, satisfied expression. He slowly crawls over top of me, kissing my neck soothingly as I continue to catch my breath. Gently, he pulls my arms and helps me scoot up toward the pillows as he stays hovering over me. I'm only half-aware of him retrieving a condom that he must have brought over as I was removing my shorts. He puts it on and lines himself up with my entrance. Javi gives me one last look of confirmation, as if I could ever resist the feeling of him inside of me. As if it wasn't the only thing I've thought about since he showed up at my doorstep tonight. I nod, perhaps too enthusiastically, and his cocky smile fades into slack-jawed bliss as he slides all the way to the hilt. I inhale a sharp breath, pinching my eyes shut.

"Fuuuck," Javi groans, dropping his head to my neck. I wiggle underneath him, needing him to move. "Not—Not yet, Ava." Javi grinds out through his teeth. "I need a minute, or I'm going to put myself to shame here." He huffs out a staggered laugh. I try desperately to give him his minute, stroking his forearms lightly with my nails. He gives me a glazed-over smile, "That's not particularly helpful, either." I blush, releasing a shy smile despite how exposed I had already been.

Slowly. Way. Too. Slowly. He begins to move, throwing his head back at the feeling of me. Of us moving together. My fingers arc inward, digging into his broad forearms instead of trailing gently as they had been before. I need more of him, and less of the stillness. Maybe I'm simply greedy, after already finishing twice tonight–but I don't care. I feel that if he does not start to give me those hard, fast thrusts that I miss so badly that I could burst into flames.

"You're killing me," I mewl beneath him. That got his attention as he opens his eyes again.

"You want me to go faster?" He asks, his tone suspiciously earnest.

"Yes."

Javi smirks that cocky, knowing smirk that I usually adore. But right now I want to smack it off of him. "This is payback, baby." He nearly growls the words.

I dig my nails deeper, right as he slips out almost all the way. He leisurely fills me again, and I give him a look of confusion, the feeling of him too sweet for me to speak again.

Javi chuckles, leaning down to kiss my earlobe before he whispers.

"Do you know–" Thrust, "How worried I was?" He thrusts again, finally picking up the speed just a bit.

My legs begin to shake for the third time tonight, that familiar pull already beginning in my lower belly.

"I'm sorry," I choke out, bringing my legs to wrap around his waist, hoping it will stop the shaking.

"Didn't I tell you," he gives me two sharp thrusts, making me cry out, "To take care of yourself? To make sure you were drinking water?" Javi pounds into me several times in a row, and I'm near tears at the sensation, at his words. His possession, his care. It's all so good. It is so. Good.

He slows again, and I can't help it anymore.

"Please," I beg. "Please, please give it to me."

Javi gives me a soft kiss on my forehead, contrasted with a harsh grab of my left breast. His eyes are so sincere that my heart could burst.

"Are you going to listen to me this time?"

"Yes. God, yes."

"Good girl."

My eyes widen and he chuckles darkly. He grabs both of my hands, placing them above my head, securing me tight. He presses a fierce kiss to my lips and begins to incrementally pick up the pace. I can feel my arousal dripping down my inner thighs, and the harder and faster he moves, the more I groan into his mouth. Javi sets a steady rhythm, pulling all the way out every single time before snapping back into me, hitting that sweet spot that consciously makes me cry out. The sound of him slapping against me makes the swirls in my lower belly increase, and myself tighten around him. He moans, slipping his tongue into my mouth to overtake me completely. My eyes roll back, as I resist his hands holding my arms in place. I don't want him to let me go, but this thrill throughout my entire body is too great. I don't know what to do, and I don't want it to ever stop. His warm, slicked skin should stay on top of mine forever. I dig my heels into his ass, needing him even closer.

"You said you were going to listen," His voice is breathless, and has a desperate edge to it despite the teasing tone. "So you're going to come when I say."

I arch my back off the bed, pressing my breasts up harder against his chest, trying to gain back an ounce of control. I crane my neck up so I can tug his earlobe with my teeth.

"Yes, sir," I whisper.

I feel his cock twitch inside me at those words.

He releases my hands from their previous confinement above my head. I immediately trace my fingers down his back, feeling him shiver against my touch. Javi reaches behind me, though I'm not for what until he says, "Lift your hips."

I do as I'm told, barely registering the pillow he places underneath them. The new angle makes me gasp. The spot he was hitting before felt good, but this felt otherworldly.

Javi is holding my gaze, and I can see the soft dusting of sweat on the side of his brow. I've never seen him so assertive, and it's driving me wild.

As if to prove my point, he says, in the most gravelly I've ever heard his voice, "Touch your clit."

My blush creeps back on my face, but I try to copy his smirk as best I can as I reach between my legs. My jaw goes slack as I rub slow, tantalizing circles on the most sensitive part of my body.

Javi is transfixed, eyes completely glazed over now, watching me add to this already impossible pleasure. With his eyes locked on where our bodies met, he grabs my hips, and picks back up to that same, insane rhythm he had moments ago. My shaky hand can barely keep up, and I no longer have any restraint on my moans that turned into sobs of ecstasy.

Javi is now shaking with me, and I can tell by his increasingly sloppy thrusts that he's close. I've been teetering on the edge for far too long. And thankfully, mercifully, he opens his mouth to groan out, "Come for me."

He barely gets out the last word before I shatter around him, legs turning to jelly as my vision spots with stars. I desperately gasp in air, and I keep heavy lids open just enough to see Javi's gorgeous features contract with pleasure just a moment later. He calls out my name, over and over again like a mantra. After several breaths, he rolls off of me and immediately grabs my waist, pulling my back to his front. He leaves soft, lazy kisses on the side of my face, my shoulder, my neck.

"I might have mentioned this already," He breathes against the back of my neck. "But I really missed you."

Whether it be the culmination of all of today's emotions, or the sincerity that coats his tone, my eyes prick with tears all the same. I remain silently grateful that he can no longer see my face.

"I missed you," I murmur back. I think I hear him whisper something in return, but sleep has taken hold of me. 

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