#I've gotten TWO asks like this
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how old are you?
more than 13 less than 18
#roboobin#ive been trying to be good at internet safety but its not going too good#I've gotten TWO asks like this#im 17#cats out of the bag
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I wonder what kind of reaction Francis would have with Mrs Michaelis like would she call her and her son “unkempt” or would she have a slight bi-panic bc strong, tall lady 😭🙏🏼⁉️…
Francis thought she was alright until Mrs Michaelis hit her with those silly nickname bullshit (Mama Michaelis is the type after 2 conversations she immediately jumps to nickname basis for people) Also according to Francis, only Alexis has the green card to call Francis cutesy nicknames
#She didn't last. she also got the yanks by the hair treatment#black butler#kuroshitsuji#black butler art#black butler fanart#kuroshitsuji fanart#kuroshitsuji art#sebastian michaelis#mama michaelis#francis midford#black butler oc#kuroshitsuji oc#MonoDukes art#fanart#doodle#art#mono post#also I've gotten like 2-3 asks about Mrs Michaelis and Francis whats with y'alls obsession with those two#':|
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Enecomimi Banzaiiii (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Kabu#Larry#Gintama references lol#And translation jokes! Very fun#I like how my reaction to these two is a fairly level ''Oh I like them but it's not all That serious really'' and then my headcanons pft#They're easy to like and think about! What am I to do about that#So the headcanons lol - I like to think that since Kabu was recruited from Hoenn that he sometimes calls Pokemon by their Japanese names#Which allowed for this very fun joke :) I was So hoping that one of the Normal cats would be a basic pun on ''Neko'' and I was right hehehe#Since Gintama has been moved into my breakfast rotation - I've read enough djs not fully appreciating the context! It was time!#I've gotten the opportunity to enjoy some of the references pulled from the anime itself into the fanwork hehe <3 Nekomimi banzaiiii!#Once I heard Shinpachi call it moe* that was it I was done I could go on no longer without making the joke#*As in cute/endearing/exciting - but its homophone refers to ''burning''! Kabu is both hehe#He's so confused - isn't Eneco a Normal type? Better go ask the resident expert#As if they weren't already planning to hang out at Kabu's place haha ♪ Just going through his fanmail while Larry spectates casually#That second Kabu is probably the cutest one I've drawn so far!! Couldn't recapture for the rest of the comic that's for sure hwegh#Gotta study what does and doesn't work with his design hm hm#Larry's still much easier to draw which is clearly why he features for only two panels here lol#At least he's enjoying himself#Kabu + Cute Normal Type Pokemon = 😳 Haha ♪#You're being very subtle Larry I'm sure he won't notice your reaction at all you're holding it together great#頑張れ アオキさん
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i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts
#okay so strap in coz this is a wild ride#tl;dr we have been without heat and warm water for years and i mean literal years#because he refuses to pay off some debt he built up with the company#because he feels unfairly treated (let's not get into this. it absolutely makes no sense) by the company#so instead of doing the logical step of growing some balls and admitting he made a mistake and paying off his shit#he's been looking for a new supplier all over but the deal IS#that he's been doing this with a couple of places before and people are hesitant to even make him any offers#and you'd think that learning about THAT at least now he'd be like. idk willing to just pay off his debt and be done with it#but you'd be WRONG#now he's looking to just have our entire heating system replaced for the teeny tiny price of 25000 bucks#mind you his debt isn't even a THIRD of that#and obviously he can't afford those 25000 bucks#so what's his next step now you might wonder?#well good thing you asked. his next step is going off on ME for not paying towards the new heating he wants#and now that that's not working for him guess what he did next?#that's right. he bought shit expensive 'space heaters' that are pretty much just small little boxes that you plug into an outlet#and he swears up and down that they're going to heat up our house (it's negative degrees outside)#(it's obviously not working)#and genuinely. all i can think of is how much money he shoved into trying to macgyver this house into a house with warm water and heating#and how he blew off ten thousands of bucks he got paid when he retired within the span of two weeks#when this debt could have been paid off ten times over by now#so now you might be thinking. okay tiago. why don't you move out#good question you see. my mom is disabled and reliant on someone who cares for her#something that he can't won't and shouldn't do because the last time he sorta kinda tried she almost died and we had to call an ambulance#she wouldn't eat a thing if i weren't there to cook. the house would fall into disrepair if i wouldn't do maintenance all around#i've set up (functioning) heat in some areas she occupies and i've gotten a boiler going so she at least has warm water#i'm paying off their bills to make sure he doesn't skip on paying any others. i'm buying groceries for them because again they wouldn't get#any for themselves#and finally. i've offered to pay off his debt so that we can finally live like normal fucking people do#and guess what. guess WHAT. he just got mad at me for not adding money to that 25000 bucks pool for that new fancy heating he wants
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I can't imagine being anywhere near as insane as Trump supporters because my dad told me that he, earlier, drove past a guy putting a "Harris Walz 2024" sign outside his house and decided to yell out at him "TRUMP 2024 YOU COCKSUCKER" and flip him off. And he laughed when he told me because he thinks that yelling at a man (emphasized man because he thinks men should be "better" than women, and "better" would be voting for Trump in this case) who is voting for a "whore who slept her way to the top" (his exact words) is funny. And expected me to laugh with him. And got angry when I didn't and just stared at him in disbelief. Even though he already knows that I don't like Donald Trump. These people fully expect others to find their weird ass derogatory words and behavior FUNNY. Donald Trump is leading a cult of old people who he brainwashed into being delusional with him.
#vote blue#harris walz 2024#kamala harris#tim walz#i know some fucker is gonna be here saying like “it's true i was the tree”#i didn't see this with my own two eyes but i've lived 21 years with my dad and i HAVE seen him do shit like this#but it was mostly just honking at random people on the sidewalk or yelling “WHERE Y'GOING” in their direction out the window#like it's still embarrassing and weird but not derogatory#and since being retired and having nothing to do all day except watch trump and more trump and more trump he has gotten worse#not a day has gone by in the last four months where he hasn't insulted joe biden or kamala harris#and every single time he has expected my brother and i to laugh at his insult even though he knows that we don't like trump#it's so depressing watching your own parent become a worse person#he was already one of the insufferable republicans before trump and now he's a trump republican which is even worse#and yk what's even worse it's that my mom has no spine against men so if her boyfriend asks for her to vote trump she'll be like “okay”#she's not a republican she just doesn't care because she thinks voting doesn't matter#my aunt who i have always loved so much now calls up my dad to talk about trump with him and i never heard her swear until this year#my other aunt makes talking about trump her entire personality when she has a gambling addiction she should be treating instead#my dad's side is a bunch of trump supporters and my mom's side just doesn't give a fuck#and i can't vote because i'll get kicked out of here faster than the speed of light the second my dad sees#the paper in the mail saying that my voter history has been updated#even if it's not public who i voted for because he knows that whoever i vote for will never be trump#sorry#tag vent#this sucks#please vote
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2021
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train? It'll save ya gas and money and time
Parents: No
2022
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. To save gas and money, can I take the train?
Parents: No
2023
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train to save gas and money?
Parents: No
2024
Me: I work in a different city almost everyday this month. Can I take the train to save gas and money?
Parents: No
Parents, a week later: Buy a train pass because gas is expensive
Me: Okay, but I don't get paid until Tuesday
Parents, that Tuesday: Don't get a pass; we'll take you to work
Me: Alright, then I'm going to spend this $85 on food and gas
Parents, yesterday: You're taking the train to work tomorrow because gas is expensive
Me, to myself: If you'd actually teach me to drive, we wouldn't be having this problem
#summer is busy season#augest is when most of our shows come in#i take the theatre in our dtate capitol#I don't have a drivers license because no one that can legally take me driving will take me for more than maybe 8 hours every other month#i'm not salty about this#why do teain passes even exist? it's bullshit#(I think it's Sweden) Sweden has the right idea about public transport#i think#i juat know that the system here is expensive as shit#why can't they make up their damn minds about this?#also#$85 is for a single month pass#i only need it for two weeks#to be fair to my parents#i was 17 when i first asked#honestly#I don't think my anxiety could handle being on the train anymore#it's only gotten worse as i've gotten older#besides i don't do well in crowded places#especially if they're small like a train#we'll see how we feel tomorrow#also also#I won't say anything about the drivers license because they both find ways to lightly guilt trip me into not bringing it up for a month#that's my rant done#i gotta go sleep
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hello i may be coming to the end of my reserves of sibling horror movies that i can draw vague thematic through-lines through! i would love suggestions if anyone has more!
ideally they'd be stories where the focus is on the siblings' relationship as opposed to just having siblings in, but i've bent the hell out of that rule myself, so tbh i'll accept anything. basket case is on my list. this is a lawless place.
#had this in my drafts and that ask reminded me!!#i think i've gotten through most of the well-known ones? some really obvious ones i just don't want to draw#the black phone (boring-ass) jeepers creepers (illegal) hill house (made by my nemesis) etc#i do want to watch raw and i Might be able to finagle together two more sets: monstrous and absent..... we shall see in months#also thought about dipping into video games! but i can only think of like two :( so video games would be gr8 too!!#even if i don't end up drawing them i'd still like to watch more movies/shows/games with horror sibs#because the main reason this project started was because i'm writing a horror adjacent story about a pair of siblings#and i really want to see different ways of portraying that dynamic in horror. positively and negatively#the results are those characters are shred UP now. they used to like each other. crazy. but i love writing it so much
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Batsplat, I am not into tennis exactly but this year I have been exposed to a lot of Tennis meta, per se. I love reading through your tennis posts they reveal such a rich human side to a sport, esp the agassi sampras post. Wanted to ask, if you have read Infinite Jest and what you think of it. Additionally, do you see any parallels between motorcycle racing and tennis? Fundamentally different sports, but still crazy in their unique ways. Keep posting, many hugs!!
hugs back to you anon, really am very pleased that post has struck a chord... going to put a pin in the infinite jest half of the ask because I recently got another ask about that book and want to organise my thoughts a bit more. tldr I have a lot of fondness for the thing. I actually reckon being invested in tennis is a bit of a cheat code where that book is concerned, like it kind of gives you something to immediately latch onto... dfw has a reputation for being the writer about tennis - and he does capture something of the soul of the sport, both in IJ and in his essays. in IJ, he makes it feel claustrophobic and inescapable, like a curse of the blood. as it should be. there are many descriptions of the sport itself I love, ways it is integrated into the narrative, the meanings that are extracted from it... I'm not sure there's a concise way to talk about IJ and if anything that feels like it'd be against the spirit of the book, so for now I'll leave you with this: dfw knew ball, but his taste in tennis left much to be desired. religious experience my ass
anyhow, let's transition to the other half of the ask with an IJ quote chosen completely at random
'We're all on each other's food chain. All of us. It's an individual sport. Welcome to the meaning of individual. We're each deeply alone here. It's what we all have in common, this aloneness.’
on tennis and motorcycle racing - I think I do have a bit of a problem in answering this question in that those disciplines are the only two individual sports I have followed closely for a long period. (I suppose f1 is edging itself into that conversation, but that at least is relatively closely related to motogp.) so there is a bit of a 'getting a lot of boss baby vibes' issue here in that... things I feel are similar between the two of them might be equally present in croquet or skimboarding. but, well, I can only talk about what I know. I think they can both be quite lonely sports, though tennis is lonelier. motogp can be circumstantially lonely, tennis is so in its soul. this is because competing in a tennis match is such a fundamentally lonely experience in a way I'm not sure any other sport replicates. motogp is loud - tennis is defined by its silences. motogp is defined by its action while tennis lives and breathes in the negative space. the connection between ball and racquet is infinitesimally brief... the time between points stretches out as a void. a tennis match is a thing of many rhythms, superficially reliable, yet the experience of living through a match eats away at your perception of time. the match is provided structures by its units, wherein each can feel like it lasts a split second or a decade. motogp is fierce and noisy and full of life. tennis is empty
I think you can probably draw numerous fairly trite parallels between the two - the emphasis on one-vs-one duels, for instance, albeit a non-negotiable element of tennis in a way it isn't for motogp. different virtues and tropes represented by different athletes... offensive, defensive, the wild talent, the cunning mastermind, the tenacious and the feeble and the limited and the all-rounder - archetypes of a sort that recur even when the exact way they express their archetypal nature varies between sports. perhaps even a fanbase that neurotically oscillates between yearning for drama and hounding almost anyone who supplies it. there's some ways in which I have to follow the two sports completely differently... for instance, I am far more sensitive to injuries in tennis and tend to get peeved when anyone competes with injury - one of my least favourite things about federer (amongst some sturdy competition) was how big a virtue he made of never having retired from a match, and how it influenced the generations to come. I mostly stand by the same principle when it comes to motogp, but it does force you to readjust your idea of what kind of an injury is acceptable to compete with. (obviously to some extent this is just practicality - I'm sure plenty of tennis players would love to try and compete with broken ankles, but that sort of thing just physically isn't possible in tennis.) motogp is considerably less stressful to follow because of how concentrated it is. there's nothing quite like the death by a thousand cuts that experiencing a drawn-out defeat in tennis inflicts on you
but none of that is particularly interesting or insightful. I actually think following tennis has given me a pretty good grasp of sports psychology because, not to brag, tennis is kind of the sport for understanding derangement. I'm not talking in terms of pure drama - unfortunately, motogp is miles ahead of us on that front. but in terms of actually understanding the intricacies of how competition fucks with the brain... motogp is so macro, races are building blocks of entire seasons, your results in march help determine your standings in november. it's also a lot more mysterious - I can't read as much into motogp results as I can into tennis, not just because of my personal level of expertise but also for the simple fact that there are far more hidden performance variables in motogp, mainly related to machinery. when I talk about how 'clutch' a player is in tennis, I can show you actual numbers to describe what I'm talking about that I can pull up for any player (unlike for instance stats relating solely to title contenders) and have a pretty big sample size and can be used to meaningfully draw conclusions. a big reason why tennis is considered the mental torture sport is because of its unambiguously deeply fucked up scoring system, making use of the units of 'point' and 'game' and 'set' within a single match to ensure that all your effort can be repeatedly rendered meaningless in numerous ways. what this does help us with in analysis terms is that not every point is 'equal' - they might be in literal terms, but the stakes vary drastically. which affects the amount of pressure you are under and what type of pressure it is. to use a very basic example, one measure of 'clutch' performance might be how a player competes in tiebreaks, given that they are inherently higher pressure situations where you can compare those points to the baseline of all the other points. tennis and motogp (+ motorsports more broadly) are kind of on the opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of how many raw numbers like that you will have at your disposal - with plenty of other ball sports like basketball or football or baseball slotting in somewhere in the middle
and what this DOES help you with is that if you are a proper student of tennis... y'know. you'll probably have a slightly more refined understanding of how mentality in sports works. more than just sorting every athlete into two categories of 'mentally strong' and 'choker', which is how a lot of discussion can read. even on platforms theoretically interested in serious sports analysis. how pressure affects competitors... so many motorsport discussions feel oddly naive to the basic concept that competitors may handle pressure completely differently if they are ahead or if they are behind. sometimes you hear motorsports reporting treat mentality as completely irrelevant, outright say that people should stop focusing on psychological factors... which is just not the kind of thinking you get away with in tennis
that being said, the real lesson tennis can teach you is if anything the very opposite: often, performing better under pressure is only very loosely correlated to mental strength. this is a bit of a bugbear of mine so if I've posted this before my apologies, I always have a version of this rant in my brain and genuinely cannot recall if I've put it on here before but... look. say you have two tennis players in a match. say each player is winning roughly 50% of the points, both players managing to drive up their side of the scoreboard. but say that one player, player A has to take a lot more risk to do so - and is aiming for about half a metre inside the baseline in every point. say the other one, player B, can aim for a way more comfortable metre inside the baseline. now say you get to a pressure situation, a tiebreak. tension rises, the muscles get tight, it's harder to swing through the ball... let's say that both of them are suddenly more likely to misfire - and that in every third shot, they will miss their target by over half a metre. even if the pressure has the exact same effect on both of them, player A will end up making more mistakes than player B - and they will be doing so disproportionately in the tiebreak, a high pressure situation. which means that on paper, they are less clutch than player B, even though in reality they have both been affected to the same extent by the pressure of the situation. one simply was always operating with a bigger margin of error, which suddenly became more noticeable in the pressure situation
this is obviously an extremely simplified understanding of tennis and it's never going to be as straightforward as that. the point however is that a lot of what people think is mentality ends up being down to technique. good technique isn't just effective - it's repeatable. it's all about optimisation, right... it's even the little things, like how much your technique asks you to use *force* - there are different muscle movements that are going to be affected in different ways by stress. if your motion always looks the same, then it's more likely you'll be able to repeat it under pressure - if you tend to hit the ball wildly differently each time, then however well you are doing it, quite likely that's going to be tougher to do under pressure. good technique is replicable even under pressure, but having good technique is obviously in itself not reflective of mental strength. in tennis, it is critical how much margin of error players have - both in terms of where they literally aim in shots, and in terms of how much a small deficit in absolute performance will spell relative catastrophe
and again. all of this is extremely basic. but it does feel like... how do I put this diplomatically. sometimes it doesn't feel like everyone's on the same page even with this basic stuff. because at the end of the day, it's going to roughly be the same situation in motogp, right? champions are seen as particularly clutch versus competitors who aren't champions... and sure, there probably is an element of mental strength to becoming a champion (though often that will also be in terms of macro career arcs, key choices and so on, not just performance in the moment) but it's not going to be that simple... because better riders are operating with a bigger margin of error. if you assume that every crash in every pressure situation is a uniform case of choking, then, y'know, this is bad analysis. fans are entitled to their bad analysis, but that doesn't make it any less bad. there is a tendency to just assume that the best athletes are the mentally strongest, rather than just blessed with a wider window of performance, and it can be. slightly galling. icl this a bit of a theme in a lot of the stuff I write, if you know to look for it lol (e.g. here)
reading the passage back it's... well. a bit funny. any tennis fan familiar with my history as a tennis fan will immediately recognise what match traumatised me so thoroughly I still see its shadow everywhere I look. sports, don't you love it
obviously there are more contemporary examples you could pick up on, but this is incidentally something that slightly ticks me off when people discuss valentino's rivals. like, with all love to casey, it is a lot easier to be 'mentally strong' and 'not broken' and bounce back from psychological torture when you have enough talent in your index finger to disrupt the orbit of a small moon. no shit he had better chances of rebuilding his confidence than some of his precursors. the game's rigged! always has been
none of this is to say that mentality doesn't matter in sports, which would be a bizarre stance for me to take. if player A and B had the exact same margin of error in their shots, one of them would still play that tiebreak better - and that's the clutch factor. it's just often harder to tease out than you might think, even in a sport with so many numbers at the tips of your fingers. sometimes you're just not going to be able to tell from the outside at all. that's the loneliness, right - constantly observed, but fundamentally unknowable. and of course, there's far more to get into here... given that tennis does demand more engagement from the outset in matters of psychology. it is a sport that is all about interaction, where every choice you make preempts the choices you believe your opponent is about to make - it's all psychology, all the time. motogp brings the macro dramatics in its rivalries (or, well, one guy did anyway), but tennis provides far more tools to understand said dramatics... it cannot help you understand motorcycle racing, but it can help you understand its psychology. but I think I'll leave it there lol. idk if these are really the parallels this ask was looking for, it's just really how I think about the two. obviously I'm biased in that I think tennis is the most important sport in existence, just like mr wallace. every bit of motogp analysis I write is inevitably shaped by my experiences with tennis, which probably also limits me in some ways. but, y'know. it is what it is. it should also be said that most tennis fans don't understand shit about sports psychology either. we persevere
anyway. yeah. for the parallels between the two. main takeaway - like I said, the game's rigged. always has been
incidentally, here's a passage of IJ I was thinking about recently
Bodies bodies everywhere. A tennis ball is the ultimate body, kid. We're coming to the crux of what I have to try to impart to you before we get out there and start actuating this fearsome potential of yours. Jim, a tennis ball is the ultimate body. Perfectly round. Even distribution of mass. But empty inside, utterly, a vacuum. Susceptible to whim, spin, to force — used well or poorly. It will reflect your own character. Characterless itself. Pure potential. Have a look at a ball. Get a ball from the cheap green plastic laundry basket of old used balls I keep there by the propane torches and use to practice the occasional serve, Jimbo. Attaboy. Now look at the ball. Heft it. Feel the weight. Here, I'll… tear the ball. . . open. Whew. See? Nothing in there but evacuated air that smells like a kind of rubber hell. Empty. Pure potential. Notice I tore it open along the seam. It's a body. You'll learn to treat it with consideration, son, some might say a kind of love, and it will open for you, do your bidding, be at your beck and soft lover's call. The thing truly great players with hale bodies who overshadow all others have is a way with the ball that's called, and keep in mind the garage door and broiler, touch. Touch the ball. Now that's … that's the touch of a player right there.
cutting it off there... obviously dfw being dfw, this paragraph continues another dozen odd pages. (I say this with fondness; unsurprisingly the parts of the book about jim and his father are some of my absolute favourite.) maybe you can guess why I was thinking about it... motogp worships its machinery - tennis has no such affection for the tools of its trade. even when we philosophise the body of the ball, all we can truly access is its emptiness. a ball is like a body because it is empty... that's the illness of a mind touched by tennis right there
#obviously if IJ were a bit more accessible then hal/pemulis would be a big thing. that goes without saying#speaking of having ass tennis takes. dfw infamously LOATHED agassi which is at times funny and at times quite ugly#like i'm not talking normal hating i'm talking insulting the shape of his skull hating. lots to learn from him on the haterism front#but yeah idk dfw is one of those guys who's interesting even when you disagree with him (and at times dislike him). worth engaging with#and i do have a natural affinity for him because you can Tell he grew up in the tennis world and thought about it way too much#weird tennis kid who ended up wringing all he could out of being a weird tennis kid in his writing. oddly inspiring#i like how i've gotten two dfw asks in the space of a week. verbose and annoying about tennis... strong company#//#batsplat responds#brr brr#racquet tag#btw the moment where i was like 'oh dfw is ON it' wrt tennis had nothing to do with all the philosophical capturing the soul stuff lol#it was when he mentioned venus williams' playstyle and i was like. wait wasn't this published in the mid nineties#and yeah!! it was!! venus was 15-16 when this book was published. crazy prescient to namecheck her like three times#she hadn't even been in a single slam draw when this was published. it's genuinely aged stunningly well
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3, 4, and 12 for the book asks <3
hiiii, thanks 🖤
3. What were your top five books of the year?
answered here :)
4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?
yes!! robin wall kimmerer became one of my few auto-purchase authors this year. other authors that are not auto-buy but i'm still very interested in reading from include: katherine arden, heather fawcett, m.l. rio, tamsyn muir, alix e. harrow, and nghi vo
12. Any books that disappointed you?
unfortunately i'm more often disappointed by books than satisfied with them, so i won't list all the disappointments here, but the most unexpected one was a memory called empire by arkady martine. a book reviewer i generally trust recommended it, so i went in with higher expectations, and while it definitely wasn't bad, it kind of felt like one long prologue to me? i'm interested in finishing the duology just to see where it goes, and there are some really unique ideas in it, but i just didn't enjoy it as much as i'd hoped to
i also read uncultured by daniella mestyanek young, and while it feels sensitive to critique an autobiography of someone's very real, traumatic life story, it read like two separate books to me. the first half is about her upbringing in the children of god cult, while the second half is about her time in the military; she studies high-control groups and clearly tried to make that the through-line of the book, but it just didn't quite work for me—i think because the messaging got muddled (her answer to the cult that raised her is total institutional dismantlement and punishment for those who caused harm, but then she still seemed to feel a lot of loyalty to the military, despite identifying clear parallels between it and her upbringing? idk, i was left a little puzzled)
see the original post here
#manti you should do this tag i want to be nosy about your reads#re: 'new authors' i feel so far behind in some ways#like i've been 'discovering' authors that everyone already loves lol#but i read like one to two books a week for four years of undergrad#and then took a fat reading hiatus after graduating#so i basically missed like... 6 years of books? and book discourse#and have only gotten back into it in the last 2ish yrs#ask tag#idontwantrobyntodie
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i made the horrendous mistake of watching the start of an old rdr2 playthrough while taking a break from writing and it was possibly the worst decision i've ever made
#my mind is torn between western au and hockey au bc i can't stop thinking about sid crosby and nate mackinnon at the asg#(neither are what im writing for my exchange)#there are so many fics i want to read... but if i let myself pick them up before finishing this fic i will be proving my lack of selfcontro#ceil's ko-fi fic AND new chapter of the price fic????? i want them so BAD but i like actually just cannot let myself#i have good asks in my inbox but i canNOT let myself answer them#it took me soooo long to figure out what to do with this fic AND i have two abandoned drafts from when i first got my exchange person#so i've been stuck here for like. ever. with no progress made!!!!#((that's not true i've actually made a good amount of progress on this final draft but let me complain))#i am Not going to have time to edit as much as i usually like to btw so like. if it's a little rough around the edges NOBODY say smth#not that anyone would?? i've never gotten a bitchy “constructive criticism” comment but im terrified of them lmfao#welcome back to: venting in the tags#y'all im distractible and stressed
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it's starting to hit me that i'm going to have a career soon and like... that is like a wild thing to try to comprehend?? like yes i've studied my ass off for the past twoish months- to pass a test. but that test means i have job where i can sit and do my job? it's still a very radical concept to me.
#kate rambles from here on#the thing is- my family has always been working class- so i really wrote off college at a young age- mostly cause my dream differed#bc of wanting to make music and what not- but like they offered the course to me for free and it's sth i've thought about before and#i've been struggling not having a job bc of my plantars fasciitis (it's from stress) so not working on my feet = lifesaver for me#i am thankful for saving up as hard as i did when i could- bc i've been living off it until recently- where it's gotten too low for my liki#it's not that i'm complaining and/or changing my lifestyle- it's just i had been fighting to get a job that i could do that wouldn't kill m#to do- and i applied to this job thinking 'they're never even going to look at my application' bc imo i have no real qualifications outside#of customer service- but they did- and i've been in the process of being hired for the past 2-3~ mos- in two days it is tech the start of#my contract- in five days i'll be going near the big city to do my onboarding? and then i'll do more course work and like the idea that soo#in January- officially- part time- i'll be working at office? like is just a wild concept to me- i'll be getting paid for learning in dec~#and i just? omg... this is wild to me... yes i realize my plantars could strike back here- but- bc i will be sitting it'll mitigate it sm#it is still part time for now- bc i asked for it to be part time and work my way up to full time- i'm allowed at any time w/training to#move up to the next level- but i can stay at level 2 for hwvr long i wish if i want to- mostly i'll be working from jan to may#and idk random fact but after applying i got to learn that my grandma before she passed did the same thing- i really do take#after my namesake- hehe- idk this is a big ramble but it's just vv wild to me#(me over here “my first big purchase will be the byz's sgs” ((i could buy it now but i'm waiting for it as a treat~)) i bought their album#when i successfully completed the scary test~ so i'm using them as a motivator to work hard ebhbhea)#kate rambles#idk i'm vv proud of myself and i just wanted to share-
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quick update
Hola everyone!
Just writing a thing to say I SEE all the messages that've been sent to my inbox and I'll promise I'll get round to them soon! I've been doing National Novel-Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year (as well as some job-huntng lolol) and it's taken up a lot of my spare mental energy. Low-key it feels like all I can do to make sure that the queue doesn't run out of submissions xD
Next month I'll get to everyone's image requests - promise! - and also to those 10K celebrations I mentioned a little while ago! (I've been cooking some stuff up behind the scenes for that milestone, don't y'all worry)
And. Yeah that's about it from me. Stay tuned, thank you for your patience, love y'all, adios <3
#'Mr Reaction Images Guy why do you let the stuff in your inbox build up to begin with' well my dear strawman#I have autism and my executives have a nasty habit of dysfunctioning#and when I'm trying to knock out 50k words in 4 weeks I don't have the spare mental bandwidth to get them to behave#T_T#but anyways yeah I wanted to make a post just kinda acknowledging/appreciating the fact that people are asking me stuff#I've gotten a couple of very nice messages as well as the image requests and it's like: I see you and I love you#(and I'll get to you individually before the end of the year)#(ALSO maybe I got excited and wanted to tease the 10k celebration because dohohoh I have An Idea Or Two)#not a pic
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One of these days I would love to read your meta on the last scene in Je Souhaite.
No pressure 😊
Will add that to the list!
I'm on a mini break (and there's another meta project brewing on the back burner); but will get to this as soon as I can because it sounds fun. :DDDD
#asks#anon#Je Souhaite#S7#xf meta#thanks for droppin in¬#really is a great stopping off point#that I've learned to truly appreciate the more I've gotten into the weeds of Season 8/9 bts#to me canon ends in Existence (while skimming largely over it and Essence)#BUT there's a quality to Je Souhaite's ending that is pretty great#the mytharc is complete#Mulder and Scully have reached “enlightenment” and closure#they're together#and they've found a space in their lives where they can be two normal people who sit on the couch and watch movies#it's the last great shift-- to me#Mulder's incremental journey towards becoming more “human” and attached to this mortal coil#Scully's incremental journey to trust and belief in herself (and to not feel inferior in her instincts/observations compared to her science#it's a great moment#the cherry on top of what she's already realized#and Vince does a great job of showcasing Scully at ease in these areas (i.e. more “normal” Saturdays with ice cream/popcorn/movies)#than Mulder#and that she recognizes this and probes him for a reason (like she did in The Unnatural and Amor Fati etc.)#and Mulder just feeling it was Right#like Millennium (and The Unnatural)#and Scully just getting it#ANYWAY#gotta get to that soon#all meta production is on pause because I'm taking a mini break#but will be back soon¬
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how do you politely tell your uni classmates that you're not gonna sit the exam for them
#i have gotten the reputation as The Good Student Who Helps People Out and listen. if there's good reason i will absolutely help you#like if you miss classes due to work or if you're ill. or if you have kids/dont live in this city. all's fair game then!#but when you ask me shit like “hey do you know what's gonna be on the exam”#or “hey do you know about XYZ” when XYZ is already on my notes that I've already sent to you#then I'm simply convinced you're lazy and want me to do your work for you and I'm honestly not having that#also girl how would i know what's gonna be on the exam. do you think i see the future???#like yesterday DURING THE ONLINE EXAM i was getting bombarded with messages from two different people#one was asking me to tell her the answer to an entire ass essay#and the other asked me something that was very clearly and simply given to us in the exercise question#like the question was “use any text we've studied to analyse X Thing” and i was asked “does exercise a want us to analyse X Thing”#BRO. LITERALLY JUST READ THE ONE (1) LINE OF TEXT THAT'S TELLING YOU EXACTLY THAT.#idk this is such a whiny stupid vent but it legit feels like I'm being taken advantage of sometimes and it's annoying
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I really like ask games, even if I sit on asks for a while sometimes, so you guys can /always/ send me promps even from old games! Tho if it has been a while, maybe add a link, so I know what you're talking about 😊✌️
#Number one reason why I might not answer#Is just because I'm thinking about whatto draw#And I've never gotten a prompt that I didn't like!#Number two reason is the ask wold go really well with a comic I have planned#So I'm just waiting until I actually. Y'know. Draw it. To answer.#Like i got one today that I've teased in the past but!! I have a couple spot illustrations about in the book!!#So we might wait until I'm.finally done with this arc first#Haha anyway
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just hopping in to say real quick but, i love seeing people's selfship/ ocxcharacter ship as hell. even when we share the same bias, even more so, idk why but it's like we're are citizens of a same little planet. i love them. i love us. do know that there's me here for aki x you/ oc ship crumbs and probably others too. i really really like seeing aki from others' povs and how they/ their character interact w him... it's genuinely lovely and 🥹 knowing that there're people who love him this much this way apart from me is so... nice and healing? and aki in love? just fucking give me more. i fucking love aki who's in love. u don't know how glad i was finding my aki people after a loooong long time being unaware of the community (and smh i did not think of searching for it until a friend sent me a tumblr aki x reader fanfic). mags, i thought i was weird and silly and no one was like me, and had been literally aki-ranting into microsoft office words in the past...
...yea there's more but i'll word limit myself just to here but you get my point. pls drop crumbs. also i love LOVE ur mermaid AU it's so so so so so....
your blog is a fucking blessing.
dearest mwo, thank you for saying so... (rhymes) it's silly because I feel the same way, I really love seeing other people's selfship stuff and things for aki. it makes me feel very seen... even if I'm shy to participate myself. and I love seeing other people appreciate aki soooo much, it makes my heart happy. yes... aki deserves so much love, I love when others love him...
I'm eternally greatful for my little akiful community here and I'm appreciative of anyone who has ever supported me... I promise to post more akis to come, and to not hold back from being my topknot self
#you truly always understand me 🤝#I have gotten so much better in recent times with being comfortable with myself#and this blog is very much the space I have to be comfortable#I was thinking about my prince aki fic and I was like#well I have so much to say#and yet this fic is so niche and will hardly appeal to anyone#but I want to write it because it's what I am passionate about#and if like two other people appreciate it too... that's enough for me...#I've noticed I'm always happiest when I'm writing / posting self indulgently.....#I appreciate you!!!#I love your posts and art so much!!!!!#you are always welcome here and always welcome to talk about whatever you'd like#kiss kiss mwah#ask mags
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