#I've got friends who can troubleshoot with me

[cleolinda]

I’m trying to plan out something fun to do, but it involves New Skills and Learning Software and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, and my clinically-diagnosed anxiety is rearing up at every step. My mom’s life motto is “Work the problem,” so I'm trying to remember that every time I hit a speed bump. What's the next step in dealing with this problem? What question do you need to google, what article do you need to read, what peripheral do you need to research?

The thing is, I've noticed that every time in my life I make a bunch of confident promises and give myself a rousing pep talk, my executive functioning folds immediately. Like a lawn chair. Just--gone. So we're not doing that this time; I'm tricking myself into not noticing that I'm accomplishing anything. We are all going to have to deal with my anxiety (and yours as well, if you want) and learn to accept it and work alongside it. Because I've noticed that when I'm--let's say, when I let myself be ~vulnerable with the universe--I tend to get further. Maybe subconsciously I reduce tension by saying, "Look, I never said I would definitely do it." On the other hand, maybe lowering expectations for myself makes me really want to exceed those expectations. (The only thing worse than being a perfectionist is being someone who wants to exceed perfectionism. I'm a recovering Gifted Kid™, yeah.) So, anyway, I feel like talking about it because I know you are out there, Anxiety Nation. I know you Get It.

How bad do you want this? What enthusiasm brought you here? Would anything explode, would anyone die if you failed?

[windvexer]

dealing with a nonthreatening entity in your home, if you can't easily communicate with spirits

just how I'd do it, the flowchart I'd personally work with, UPG ahead, etc; take what you like and leave the rest behind.

Nonthreatening: An entity which hasn't harmed you or tried to harm you, or isn't an active threat to you or your household, even if they may have acted in unpleasant or disruptive ways.

Dealing with: Sorting out the situation so that you feel comfortable with what's going on.

This post is about resolving a spirit situation in your home that you're uncomfortable with. It's not a general guide on spirit work, and it's not a recommendation for how to treat all spirits in all situations.

Banishing should probably not be a first step when dealing with an unwanted/surprise/unexpected spirit, or learning that a spirit exists where you didn't expect to be one.

Ideally, for the diplomatic spirit worker who wants to be regarded well by the otherworlds, several other steps come first.

Decide what you'd ideally like to do

Ideally, do you want the spirit to leave completely?

Never interact with you or make its presence known?

Hang around as long as it doesn't bother room mates or pets?

Integrate into the household and be a spirit room mate?

Become a part of your spirit family?

Etc!

Not saying you'll get your wish but it's a good idea to sit down and figure yourself out before you go and start moderating the life of an entity.

Like if your actual feeling is, "I do not want this guy here and I won't be comfortable in my home unless he leaves," then don't set out on purpose to make the guy a spirit home and give him house rules. Skip to the endgame step of asking him to leave.

Check on wards and protections before you take action

Not trying to be an alarmist but every now and then a random guy ends up being a big jerk, and in that situation the preferable option is to have just checked up on what tools you have on hand.

If you can communicate with spirits

Talk it out 👍 you may have to make compromises, especially if you're working with Big Guys who have a say in things, but by and large I find that if you can make the spirit a nice little house in a place they like and some solid house rules, a lot of situations are going to be resolved real fast.

If things go tits up, banishing.

If you can't easily perceive/2-way communicate with spirits

When perception isn't easy/possible, take reasonable steps and wait to see what happens.

If the stuff that was bothering you is resolved, count that as a win 👍

If you're still encountering problems, take the next step; do this until you've exhausted all options, and then move to banishing.

When you take actions, clearly affirm your intentions and expectations. Do not invite open-ended conversations that you can't participate in.

🛑 "If this spirit house isn't suitable for you, please try to let me know. I'll see what I can do to change it."

✅ "I've made this spirit house for you. Please make use of it according to your desires, but move on to another property if it isn't to your liking."

Set or review house rules

This isn't a comprehensive guide, but all you've really got to do is write down a list of rules, ritually read it off, and then stick the list somewhere you won't lose it.

A lot of spirit problems can be resolved by establishing solid house rules

A lot of panic about powerful spirits and faulty wards can be resolved by fixing accidental loopholes

Get your rules lawyer friend to help troubleshoot

E.g., "uninvited spirits aren't welcome here." Is a spirit still uninvited if you carry it in while it's inside of an object? It can get a bit tedious but it's a miracle spirits can understand human language at all, much less the miles between what you actually desire to occur versus what gets codified.

If a new spirit arrives or behavior occurs that you think is against your house rules, review your rules to see if there could be a loophole. Then, 'set' them again by re-reading them in a ritual setting. During that time, specifically ask the spirit to stop its bothersome behavior.

Divination or consulting with other practitioner friends can really help troubleshoot house rules.

Popular house rules include things like:

Don't mess with my dreams or sleep

Don't scare or make yourself known to house members or pets

Never go into my bedroom

Don't interfere with my spells or ritual workings, even if you're trying to help or protect me

Wait for a little while and see if that resolves things.

Make the guy his own little house

A spirit bothering someone isn't always them just being mischievous. Active spirits who roam around the house bored as hell can accidentally make themselves known. And ordering a bored guy to never do anything fun isn't necessarily a recipe for a happy household.

Make the guy a nice little area with some things to enjoy, especially little fidget toys and shiny stuff, and invite him to dwell in that area and make use of the enjoyable things.

This doesn't need to be in the shape of an actual miniature house.

Crochet basket, thermos with the lid popped open, desk organizer, pile of little cloths, small box with or without a lid, old jar, plastic tub, books stacked to make a nice private corner, etc.

Include a soft bed, which can take the form of comfortable cloths or a nice little pillow you crochet, etc.

Include things the spirit might like or use, such as coins, a fidget spinner, a mini rubix cube, a sun catcher, etc.

Spice it up by decorating it all nicely and including pretty things, like a nice printed silk scarf, a paint job or facade on the container, or lovely objects placed nearby.

Focus on privacy - give the guy somewhere to go so he can relax and unwind, and not constantly be bothered by people.

Most vitally, ensure that the spirit house won't be disrupted. Don't place or design it so that children or unwitting partners might "tidy it up" or take it down and play with it.

You don't have to do a big ritual cleansing or consecration or whatever.

Invite the guy to dwell there. Enter magical headspace or initiate ritual communication in whatever method you prefer.

"My guy, I see you are a part of the household. I've made you this house to use if you want to. Either way, bothering my partner has got to stop. If I need to talk to you for anything, I'll come back to this location. Anything I leave right next to the house is for you."

If the guy is stuck to an object, take that object somewhere nice

Learning how to bind a spirit to an object is a valuable skill for a witch. Sometimes nature does the job for you and the spirit is bound to an object on arrival.

Move that bad boy to a nice location, possibly to a spirit house you build, or maybe outside, even at a faraway location (I've left a few spirit vessels up the mountain, myself).

Make sure to positively affirm that you are taking this action to help the spirit, and your goal is to put it in a nice location.

Sit down with the dude and tell him to knock that shit off regardless of house rules

Presumably we're at this point because the spirit is still around, you don't want to actually tell him to get out, but something is happening that isn't working for you.

Despite the sarcastic section header, it's actually probably wise for you to own up to your own role in the situation.

Most spirits aren't jerks or stupid. They may be trying their best to interpret your words and behaviors.

You may be being unintentionally confusing or contradictory.

You may be laying down rapidfire changes that's making the spirit nervous or confused.

Your own magic may be creating barriers or impossibilities in the spirit world that prevent them from doing what you're asking.

They may be reacting to unseen situations you're completely unaware of.

A little humility goes a long way in soothing the waters.

Go to the guy's spirit house, if he has one, or otherwise go to where he's known to dwell; or, go to your usual working area. Enter magical headspace or initiate ritual communication.

Say something like,

"Hey, I need these very specific things to change. I don't mind you staying here, but it's my responsibility to care for this household, and I can't have this happening. If you are unable to stop doing this, I must politely request that you leave this household and find a new place to dwell."

(Note: If you're trying to cultivate psychism and want to be a spirit worker and so on, this is a great juncture to actually invite communication in whatever form might come - even if that communication comes slowly over days or weeks. But if that's not your jam for the present situation, you don't have to.)

(Maybe a controversial take, but you have a responsibility to do your best to do right by the spirits. We all have our limits and you also have a duty to your household, but if the reality is "I can't perceive or get input from spirits," you're limited in what you can do. Acting fairly and taking reasonable, diplomatic steps can sometimes be the best you can do.)

Ask the guy to leave

Enter magical headspace or initiate ritual communication.

"I'm sorry, but this isn't working out. I hold no ill-will towards you, but you must now depart and find a new dwelling outside of this property and this home.

It might be a good idea to invite him into a little vessel and then take that somewhere nice, but far away.

You can cleanse and bless a river rock and invite the guy to move in there, and then go take that somewhere you think is nice, or even just near a new apartment complex where he could find other residences, etc. I often find the vibes when transporting a spirit vessel to be very strong and they can be very opinionated about where they want to be left.

If you transport a spirit vessel to a new location, consider bringing a small offering (like a pinch of tobacco, or some bottled water) and pouring them out near the vessel in dedication to the spirit.

Announce that you're parting ways in good faith, and if you should ever meet again, that it will be in peace.

If all that fails, banishing is next

[directdogman]

In the light of getting Randy facts, could we in theory, get some Oliver ones too? For the Gays?

For the Gays?

And who exactly do you think the Randy facts were for, HMMM? alright, alright. i guess you guys can have a second character post, as a treat. so, what, you wanna see into his head, is that it?

Oliver has a deep well of confidence inside him which he pulls from constantly. This helps give Oliver the zesty enthusiasm that he's known for. As a down side though, Oliver's vast confidence can make him somewhat reckless when it comes to picking his battles.

When Oliver is with his friends and a random problem arises, Oliver has a tendency to say "aha, step aside, I've got this!" and will (slightly more than) occasionally hurt himself through his eager attempt to attempt to perform a task that he clearly isn't remotely qualified to perform. Oliver is right about 20% of the time, and it's beautiful when he is. He just doesn't know how to pick his battles. I swear, Oliver's brain is 25% border collie at times.

While Oliver doesn't exactly think wisely on his feet, his ability to work through puzzles when let think about a problem in silence is basically legendary. Oliver is a natural troubleshooter, subdividing and solving most problems with relative ease.

Oliver has a naturally poor attention span and badly struggles to commit to tasks he doesn't care about, leaving most things he doesn't care about until the very last minute. He's a skilled 3d visualizer and while his long term memory isn't great, his ability to remember a ton of tiny details, short term, while working is exceptional.

Oliver has a natural sense of direction. His brain maps alternate transport routes automatically and he usually knows shortcuts around places he often visits that others miss. Oh, I'll mention a few cross-cast relationships.

Karen: Some of Oliver's humour just genuinely does not land with Karen. It's not even, like, offensive to her, just incomprehensible. "Is this image trying to drive me insane? Is that the joke?" However, she finds about 1/3 of Oliver's humour the funniest thing in the world. Oliver is the only main cast member able to reliably make Karen laugh out loud.

Norm: Norm admires Oliver for being open-minded, honest and compassionate to others. Oliver's tendency to overextend himself and eagerly offer any help that he can think to ask (like an eager greyhound or borzoi, sprinting around in circles) when he offers help to his friends is something Norm has noticed and admires. Oliver has a hands-on attitude and a natural sense of duty/responsibility to others, which reminds Norm of his younger self.

Stabby and Shooty: Stabby: "You can't mug him. Really. We tried and he said no." Shooty: "It's true, you can't. He knows the game." Stabby: "Yeah, he knows we're not actually gonna hurt him if he says no. Someone must've told him." Shooty: "Nah, I reckon he just... didn't think we were capable of taking him when he saw how we were built. Even two on one, bro, the odds aren't really in our favour. Like, we're not exactly BUFF." Stabby: "Yeah. Shit. Yeah... Anyway, nah, still haven't gotten a dime from the guy. But, whatever! FUCK HIM. HIS loss, bro." Shooty: "Yeah, his loss, bro!" Stabby: "..." Shooty: "...You can't deny though, the guy has style." Stabby: "YEAH. Can't deny, the guy's pretty stylish."

[zeondraws]

I always wonder why I have been so busy the past months but then I remember all the things I'm doing with SWTD:

(this is more of a thought post about my life/thoughts/feelings than a lore post! Ignore if you are not interested in this, I don't mind)

Taking Screenshots

Multiple recording sessions (for audio or funny moments, and so on)

Multiple playthroughs of the game

Doing an AU for some reason

Drawing the characters (much art)

Also learning how to use procreate, while my big tablet is packed away until November

Working on a video project

Learning how to use OBS

Datamining the gamefiles for more info with fmodel

troubleshooting fmodel because it's showing me the middle finger for the billionth time

learning how to use a dumper to get mappings file (to view files in fmodel)

learning how to install mods and learn how to use them

troubleshooting my pc or laptop because of my silly shenanigans

rebuilding the models in blender while simultaneously watching blender tutorials to understand what the hell I'm doing

read about TCR's other games and play them (I still have to play Little Orpheus)

Trying to research movies or any blogpost/YouTube posts regarding the game

Other types of research that I can't think of right now

Sharing results with others and discuss the findings to figure lore out

confusedscreaming.mp4

????

It has a lot of reasons why I am super determined and stubborn? when it comes to something I'm passionate about. (It's really hard to explain)

Family always dismissed my hobbies and didn't support me much for them. They often gave me false promises and made me wait for nothing

Often treating me like a baby, as if I can't think for myself. I had to fight a lot for my passions the past decade or so. Even dealing with a former coworker who was very manipulative and tried very hard to belittle me.

I can't even explain all the stress I had to endure because of my old job. Constantly monitored for mistakes, constantly shoved to a corner, freedom taken away, bullied, my feelings had been manipulated so much that I just.. had entire months where I cried every single day. And I'm not even kidding, I went to work in fear, I walked home in fear, I woke up in fear. I still remember that evening where I was so afraid of everything. I was so scared to even be in my apartment, I just balled my eyes out because it was too much at that moment.

Only thing that kept me going was my determination, hope.. daydreams. . and seeking out help (therapy, friends) and using the anger I felt for my coworker to work on my art/passions and show myself that I'm not worthless.

Sometimes my coworker would treat me badly on some days, so after I went home I used my anger and sadness to make art. Even if I sat there drawing for 5h. It did help me to improve a ton in my skills.

I think that event made me go through this journey of? self reflection and growth. It's wild how much happened after that.

Family wasn't helpful in this painful time period, one told me I'll end up alone, that I shouldn't talk to people online or that I should be happy to have a job (Talking to family is like talking to a wall). Or another family member who tries so hard to treat me like an object.

It fills me with anger, but they're all I've got. I thankfully have many friends I can go to when needed, but I wouldn't be able to fully abandon my family. It's probably because I felt so down when my mother passed away over two years ago. I haven't talked to her in years because of her mental condition, but her passing hit me badly.

I have struggled for a while to work on other skillsets because I was too afraid, doing videos, blender, drawing humans idk why, maybe no confidence in myself to try it out

.. Suddenly swtd gets released and my head does a 360 and is like "I'm going to learn all of this now, hold my bear". Using my obsession about this game to learn something new, which helped me overcome so many hurdles. Like the amount of times I threw myself out of my comfort zone while I tried to fiddle with the game.

Like, look at the difference in my human art

This is the first time I drew Muir like.. I forgot when I drew this, two months ago?

And then like this is from a few days ago

... *compares* I don't know how to explain the difference, I think there is one-

Like,. It's hard to compliment myself because of the sheer amount of stress I endured over the year. I've been out of the old job for 3 weeks now. I'm so glad I'm out of there.

I remember how I always wanted to draw an entire dragon, not just a bust. And look I ended up drawing one!! Ok with Roper's head but yea!

I think family difficulties and other events made me feel very detached from others. I never felt/feel like I belong anywhere. I moved so often that this feeling persisted. And it may persist for who knows how long. I only recently got a diagnosis, I have a form of depression, but it's somewhat mild. Hence why I'm still able to perform in daily tasks and work. Tho I don't want to use my condition as an excuse, I rather just want to show that I'm capable of something. That even people who struggle mentally can find success in what they do.

Life throws so many hurdles but I think I am slowly used to living in the chaotic environment. I keep drawing and work on my hobbies while I wait to move apartments.

I try very hard to change my mindset even tho my mind had been so used to the negative spirals. But I try to stay determined and keep on learning. I am not all knowing and I need to remember that mistakes are ok and that I need them to keep learning and have progress.

I've been pushing aside so many thoughts while I messed with the game. Even tho it's 2AM I needed a quiet moment to think about it all.

I am very open with my thoughts and feelings, it's what I usually do on my Instagram account when I post my art.

Tomorrow is another day to learn something new.

[aesethewitch]

I'm opening up content voting to the public! Higher monthly support tiers on Ko-Fi got to vote first and with priority, but I want to get some more opinions. See below the poll for explanations on each topic. (:

Musings on Energy Inputs and Outputs - Does the amount of energy you put into a magical working equate to the level of results on the other side? Where does energy for magic come from, and how can you better harness it? How much does fueling a spell actually matter? This may be either one long post or a pair of two posts on the subject of energy inputs and outputs.

Learning to Cook Like a Witch: Using the Scraps - When you cook, you generate waste. You could throw it away or compost it... or, in some cases, recycle and reuse it for other purposes! This idea applies to packaging and food scraps.

Research into "this is for you" style divination - The phenomenon of YouTube and TikTok videos claiming that "if you're seeing this, it's for you!" has fascinated me for a long time. Are these videos legitimate? Are these divinations accurate? Who are these videos for? What do the people posting these videos believe? And what about pick-a-card readings or collective readings? Are those any better, or are they to be lumped into the same odd category?

Basics of Making a Tarot Spread - So, you've got a question to divine for, but you're not sure what kind of spread to use. The ones online don't quite fit, so you've got to make your own. But how do you do that? How do you decide how many cards to use or what those cards should mean? This post will give a basic overview of what goes into designing an effective tarot spread.

Tips on What to Do if Your Divinations are Always Wrong - We've all been there. This post is mainly for folks who already know how to do divination of some kind. It will probably focus primarily on tarot, since that's where most of my expertise lies, but I'd like to touch on other methods as well. The goal is to help you troubleshoot divination gone awry to identify the root problem and figure out a suitable remedy.

Talking to Dead People: Tips for Working with Ghosts - It's where I started, and I've been reconnecting with my dead friends gradually over the last few years. This includes ancestors, of course, but it also includes regular old hauntings. Get an idea of what a haunting actually looks like (spoiler: not like Ghost Adventures), how you can connect to ghosts, and general etiquette I've picked up over the years.

[autisticempathydaemon]

your match up game looks so fun ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i wanna try it out hehe (rambling ahead)

1. beast of blood by malice mizer :3 i honestly don't have a reason other than it being chaotic enough that it fills up empty noise in my brain lol

2. 5w6 !!

3. ohh i LOVE youtube essays/analyses whether i'm fully listening or have em as background noise, i love horror youtube deep dives, particularly about analog/digital horror series and that one creepypasta iceberg hehe

4. i don't think i've ever had one ? to be honest i don't think i ever thought abt it until i saw it in like . cartoons n shit , never rlly knew about the concept of imaginary friends as a kid 😭

5. recently i use redacted sleep aid audios but most of the time i just . stay awake until my brain shuts down 🤞

6. honestly? i never thought abt this . but the first thing that came into my mind was veronica (idk either!!) though if i genuinely wanted to change my name i'd want it to be gender neutral, and tbh i doubt i'd have any important meaning behind it i'd just pick whatevr sounds nice

7. guy's sleep audio !!!! i joke about wanting guy angst a lot but to be real . this audio of his is so vulnerable .. like before that we only saw him being a goof and stuff yaknow . . idk that one forreals hit different 4 me

8. as much as i love every character, i do not understand why gavin is the most popular😭 don't get me wrong , love him, maybe it's because i haven't listened to the fl series but i do not get the hype💔

9. i don't know all the words per se but i would have to say mean girls . . as problematic as that movie is now its iconic and i love it and i need to rewatch it BAD .

10. damien tbh . haven't gotten to his other audios but i think i would want 2 be besties w him i relate 2 him a good amount (he also seems like the type id be intimidated into doing well in school for)

11. to be real i wld not be able to ramble if im tired LOL i think i'd be more quiet bcz i have a hard time sleeping to begin with

12. tbh just a soda (coca cola bcz i am basic) i go to convenience stores n stuff after school so im only there to pick up something quick before i go home so im in and im out 🔥🔥

13. the 2007 sweeney todd soundtrack 🤞 i cannawt find the movie ANYWHERE and its nostalgic to me so listening to the songs is the closest i'll get to scratch the itch in my brain

14. fnaf tbh EHWHEHW i've been into fnaf ever since i was a kid and it's stuck with me because it's what got me into horror n stuff  🫶

15. i'm a saggitarius, my mbti is INTP, i love horror and fashion, despite wearing a lot of darker alt fashion, my favorite color is pink (my phone case is decorated to the gods its very ridiculous) i like doing my own nails (funnily enough in bright colors) , i think i relate to honey the most in terms of personality, and i like to analyze most of the media im into!!

So part of my thought process is based on your personality types, the Troubleshooter and the Logician. However, I have to admit a bigger part of my reasoning is I think Asher would love your fashion sense and would contrast you so cutely.

Like, on a deep, core level, your personality types give me the impression of someone who’s thoughtful and analytical and capable of solving problems. Those are good traits for a beta’s mate, especially when Asher can have more social, impulsive tendencies. On a funsies level, I imagine Asher dresses like your typical So Cal dude, kinda surfer chic, and he loves your style and what an odd pair you make. Like, on all levels but especially physical, you are the embodiment of the black cat/golden retriever couple.

Asher loves everything about you, so many things about you he finds it hard to pick a favorite. He loves the contrast between your dark clothes and your bright nails, loves asking you to paint his while you’re at it so y’all can match. He loves watching FNAF theories with you, because he was definitely a FNAF teenager. He even loves watching scary movies with you though he’s terrible with them. (Asher’s the type that loves the adrenaline rush while it’s playing but regrets it once it’s time to lock up the house.)

Song:

In the car, I just can't wait/ To pick you up on our very first date/ Is it cool if I hold your hand?/ Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?/ Do you like my stupid hair?/ Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?/ I'm just scared of what you think/ You make me nervous so I really can't eat/ Let's go/ Don't wait/ This night's almost over

Given we canonically know Asher to be a FOB fanboy, it’s hardly a leap to assume he’s a Blink fan, especially this song. I think this particular track is not only fun and nostalgic to him but captures his energy and vibes, how he felt when he first fell in love with you. It’s also catchy as hell, so you know he’s singing this at you full-volume all the time.

Runner-ups:

Anytime someone says they’re a horror fan, I’ve got to put Guy in their big three; one of my top headcanons is that he writes some gripping horror and loves it as a genre. (I also think he loves FNAF lore and finds it so fun, though he was not impressed by the movie.) I also love Lasko for you because I think he admires your bold, authentic fashion choices and finds them inspirational.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part five) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: innuendos, lots of talk of sex (it's Richie), vague mention of toxic relationships, low self-worth, a little angst, loneliness, imposter syndrome, cursing, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: We got friends in on this one, babes. The Eddie train expands !!! And Richie continues playing some of my favorite games. I'm Southern so the accent joke can fly. Enjoy :))]]

It was stream day.

Richie was skimming through some of the submitted games. He had a form where people could submit games they wanted him to play: it ranged from dating sims to horror games to Mario. He'd found one he liked early last week, but he knew it'd be long-term so he waited on it.

That being said, he'd already downloaded and was currently checking that it ran properly. He still had a few hours until the stream started up.

e.kaspbrak

You're streaming today, right?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

yeah new game why

e.kaspbrak

What time?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

wow eds u call yourself a fan ?

e.kaspbrak

Your schedule is shit, you know that.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

it's at like 12

gonna be chowing down on stream

e.kaspbrak

I'll be off of work by then.

What game?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

that's for me to know and you find out spaghetti 😉

guess you'll just have to watch my stream :)

e.kaspbrak

I already am going to dipshit.

Richie laughed, he felt like he always was with Eddie. So fucking cheesy.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

no playing favorites here eds

e.kaspbrak

Whatever dickhead, I gotta get back to work. See ya then.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

see u spagheds :))

e.kaspbrak

I'm just going to ignore that fucking horrible nickname. Bye, Rich.

He smiled again, something about only his closest friends calling him Rich. It made him feel a little warm, and made him want to maybe run up and down the street -screaming about Eddie.

Luckily, he didn't.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

byeeeeeee

Richie huffed a breath out and kept working on his computer. It all seemed to work well, luckily. There was no troubleshooting that he had to run through for hours-

And then he got a text.

Staniel 🐦😤😠

Call me.

Shit. He'd forgotten to tell him like anything. Shit, had he figured it out? God, he was going to hear it. Like really hear it.

Or maybe something was wrong. Wrong enough to constitute a call. Fuck.

Richie didn't hesitate another second.

"Richie?" His voice crackled over the line (sometimes the distance really messed with their calls), "-Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, hey," Richie started quickly, "-Is everything okay?"

"Of course," Stanley reassured instinctively, before continuing, "-I just talked to Bev."

Fuck.

"I was going to tell you about Eds, I swear-"

"Eds?" He questioned, seemingly genuinely, "-That's the person in your chat, right? Bev just told me that you were talking to someone. Are you... Wait."

Richie spoke, a little nervously, "I might have found him on Instagram."

"The person you're talking to is... Eddie?"

"Yeah," he fidgetted with his fingers, "-the guy who cusses me out in chat."

"You're so fucked in the head," Stanley commented, flatly, "-How are you into that?"

"I don't know," he mindlessly added, "-but somehow he makes it cute, so that's where I'm at."

"Is he gay?"

They had like zero faith in him. Damn. Was he that much of a lost cause?

"Yeah, he is," Richie sighed out, "-I know I've had a shitty dating history, but fuck, man. Have some faith."

"I would," he replied, flatly, "-if you didn't have a terrible record otherwise."

"Oh, c'mon, Staniel," Richie offered, "-It's not that bad-"

"You haven't had a boyfriend since you became an official Twitch streamer, Rich," Stanley pointed out, "-and even then, that guy wasn't even out. He couldn't even take you on dates."

"And I was okay with that," Richie clarified, "-Not everyone feels comfortable with being out-"

"Richie," Stanley interrupted, sternly, "-it wasn't about personal preference, the guy was shitty."

Thinking back on it, he can kind of remember some shitty things the guy did. Like bash his love for comic books, tell him to shut up (not in the cute way), physically hide him from his friends and family-

"You deserve someone proud to be with you," he continued, interjecting into Richie's thought process, "-And I don't... I don't understand why you don't seem to know that."

"You're not the only one, Stanthony," he pursed his lips, somewhat deflecting (Richie was never really good at peeling back layers of himself), "-Steve tells me shit about it all the time, 'You seek validation in other people'. Blah, blah, blah."

"You know you pay a therapist to listen to them, right?"

"Obviously," he chimed in response, tapping his fingers along the desk -mindlessly eying the clock, "-I am. It's just... Your brain is wired a certain way, and sometimes it's hard to rewire it. If that makes any fucking sense."

"It strangely does," Stan commented, thoughtfully.

There was silence for a second, and it felt a little heavy on his shoulders. His love life really was in fucking shambles, huh. Richie wasn't sure anyone had actually loved him. Sure he'd heard the words, but it was never genuine. Always had... an agenda. Manipulation, or love-bombing (as Steve would say). Or at least he thought it was.

It kind of fucking sucked that he might be susceptible to that again, that he might have put himself right where he'd started. That Eddie held a lot in his hands because Richie had willingly put it there, that he could just do something-

"What about Eddie?"

Richie blinked, clearing his throat, "What about him?"

"Is he-" Stanley started before pausing, seemingly trying to figure out his words, "-Is he a good guy? Do you think he's actually... invested?"

"Well," he laughed a little nervously, "-there's fucking nothing to be invested in right now, Stanley."

"This wouldn't be as big as it is if that was true, Rich," he replied, swiftly, "-I know that."

Richie took a deep breath in, "Okay, yeah, I do. Mike... Alright, so apparently he lived where Mike and Ben did when they were younger?"

"The town in Maine?"

"Yeah," Richie quickly confirmed, "-Anyway, Mike sees Eds as an old friend, so he called me to make sure I was being... genuine-"

"Let me guess," Stan hummed, "-he called Eddie too? Asked him the same thing?"

"It's scary when you do that, Staniel," Richie responded, playfully, "-You're like some fucking prophet or something sometimes, it's scary as fuck-"

"Did Eddie tell you himself?" He continued, unwavering, "-That he was genuine?"

"Yeah," Richie swallowed, something in him deeply uncomfortable, "-yeah. Said that he likes when I talk and that sometimes he's a dick to people he cares about-"

"He likes when you talk?" Stan interjected, near immediately.

"I fucking know, right?" Richie replied laughing, the idea had been bouncing around in his head for a while, "-Isn't that batshit crazy?"

"Not entirely," Stanley replied, still ever-so-calm, and just seeming to process it. He always thought about what he was going to say before he said it, the exact opposite of Richie (most of the time anyway). He thinks it kind of why the two of them work so well together.

"It's just good," he continued after a moment, "-when has a guy you're with ever said they like that? That they like to listen to you?"

"First off, I'm not with Eddie," Richie corrected, mind humming with a hopeful 'not yet', "-Secondly... never. They always used to tell me to shut up, mostly. And not in the cute way that Spaghetti does."

He could nearly hear Stan's frown, "You know if we were friends back then, I would've kicked their asses and then yours for doing that to yourself, right?"

"'At's what happens when ya live in a town stuck in the eighties, pal," Richie chimed back in a strange southern accent (more hillbilly than beauty pageant), "-the internalized homophobia grabs ya by the ankles and drags ya-"

"I get it," Stanley interrupted, flatly.

He stopped the impression and then started up a little quietly, more genuine. He could tell when Stan meant no bullshit.

"I like him," Richie spoke, maybe a little louder and squeakier than expected but he'd never admit it, "-I really fucking like him."

Stan didn't say anything for a second, wordless. Once again probably debating what wise words he was going to graciously depart onto him-

"I'm glad," he said, "-I'm really glad, Richie."

And that was that.

It was about an hour before stream now, and his phone dinged.

It was embarrassing how much he hoped it was Eddie, and how much he deflated when it wasn't. He didn't deflated completely though, because it was Bev.

reddy.bevvy ✔️

give me Eddie's insta

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

what why

reddy.bevvy ✔️

I wanna get to know him

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

u tryna steal my mans marsh?

reddy.bevvy ✔️

he's gay

and if he's your friend rich he's gonna be mine too

so suck it up and give me his insta

God, he loved his friends. Especially his dear Bevvy, that one was something special.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

@/e.kaspbrak

He waited a moment, not sure if he should expect a reply. Beverly was a wildcard sometimes-

reddy.bevvy ✔️

thx

see u at the stream 😘😘😘

Richie let out a breath, something clawing up his stomach. His friends weren't going to harass him, were they? God, he'd worked so hard to not scare him away, it would be so fucked if they did. He might never forgive them, ever actually. And that was saying something because he fucking loved his friends.

After an hour of going between worrying and checking his equipment, the stream started.

Richie had actually prepped himself a bowl of Ramen that he currently was eating -waiting for his chat to flow in. He knew some people got off on the eating thing, and others found it gross, but that was in the character of his channel and himself so... he didn't really fucking care.

This time the game was in the title of the stream. One called The Quarry, some sort of choice-based game, people most certainly were going to die at his hands. Either for being stupid and getting them killed, or doing it purposefully. Richie didn't know which one would win this time.

"As long as I got my suit and tie, Imma give it up on the floor tonight," he murmured to himself, checking his audio.

Honk, honk.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: what the fuck are you eating

"Eds!" He chimed happily, maybe a little too happily in retrospect, "-Ramen, it's lunch time, everyone should be chowing down."

trashy.tozier: 🍝🍝🍝

dizknees: eddie has arrived guys stream is legit now

babey_boy: SPAGHETTIIII

elite._.gamer: just here for the game but hi eddie

trashmouth-for-me: 🍝🍝🍝

girlie-pops: 🍝🍝🍝

trashy.tozier: I'm eating chicken fried rice

trashmouth-for-me: @/trashy.tozier food check !!!

hello>_<89: 🍝🍝🍝

girlie-pops: I'm eating toast w jelly

smell.ya.later: 🍝🍝🍝

dizknees: I'm eating leftover spaghetti ironically

trashmouth-for-me: @/eddie.kaspbrak watch out @/dizknees has a taste for your blood

hunny_bunny75: I'm new here but this is my favorite game ever

smell.ya.later: I'm eating ramen too !!! we are kindred spirits 🧘‍♀️

trashy.tozier: @/hunny_bunny75 welcome ur in for a bumpy ride

bridger_my_ton: I'm eating a turkey sandwich

toziers-trash: 🍝🍝🍝 EDDIE

too.tough.to.cry: ice cream w chocolate sprinkles

"Hey motherfuckers," Richie started on instinct, "-I don't know shit about this game, other than it's one where people can die based on my choices-"

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: do you know how much sodium is in that shit

"Enough to matter," he laughed, "-apparently. Guys, do we feel li-"

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: do you even own any vegetables ???

"Spaghetti," he dramatically held a hand over his heart, feigning heartbreak, "-do you have no faith in me? Of course, I do. I've got baby carrots right in the fridge."

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: you should eat that instead dickweed

Richie fell into a little bit of an incredulous laugh, something swirling in his chest (he has odd ways of showing he cares but Richie was definitely into it). He pushed his lips together into a thin line, everything itching in him to listen. God, he was so gay-

"Well, guys," he laughed again, "-I don't think Eds here is gonna stop until I switch out my meal. So, I will be right back, do not blow yourselves up while I'm gone."

trashy.tozier: wait did that just happen

brilliant_minds: is that his bf or something

trashmouth-for-me: say that 🍝🍝🍝

benny.boy: where's richie?

trashy.tozier: @/brilliant_minds 👀👀👀

reddy.bevvy: @/benny.boy went to get some different food

all_i_say_is_beet: beet

toziers-trash: @/trashy.tozier no this is starting to make sense

stan.the.man: I've been trying to do that for years @/eddie.kaspbrak

smell.ya.later: @/trashy.tozier how the turntables are turning

barbie._.gurl34: has the stream started ?

In the silence of Richie's room, the alarm went off.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: I am not his boyfriend

trashy.tozier: that's suspicious that's weird

gay.shit.guy: 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 GAY SHIT MENTIONED 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

only-here-for-trashmouth: you could be though

ghoulie-boogie: when is he starting the game

dizknees: I smell a ship coming on

your._.mom: the question is do you want to be 🍝

girlie-pops: @/dizknees reddie ?

trashy.tozier: @/girlie-pops no wait THATS SO GOOD

should-i-stay69: is this the gay game ? About werewolves ?

elite._.gamer: @/should-i-stay69 there is a gay couple and it is about werewolves

baby_gurl456: just got here but I'm kinda invested in the 🍝🗑 drama

trashmouth-for-me: @/baby_girl456 NOT THE EMOJISSSS

trashy.tozier: guys he's coming back !!! spam the chat he can't know of our secrets !!!

Richie came back to a slew of chats, including letters and random emojis. He was only a little surprised his mods didn't do anything about it. It was Trashmouth Tozier, they did questionable shit. And he didn't disapprove of some spamming, not always.

"Jesus, guys," he laughed again, "-What the fuck did you do?"

They did not answer him for the rest of the stream. Initially, he just wanted to do a villain run but then he found out about the gays ("Wait guys, there's gay potential in this?! We have to save them, fuck-").

And Eddie didn't message again, surprisingly. Richie wasn't 100% sure why he took it so hard, but at the same time, he knew exactly why. It worried him a little bit, then, and then it worried him a lot when he got off stream to no messages.

He stared at his phone for the remainder of his day, just watching and waiting.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

eds?

He was probably just overthinking it. Like he always did. He might just need a day, they didn't have to message every minute of every day. They had actually already messaged that morning, so that was normal, so normal-

At least, that's what he'd tell himself when he went to sleep that night.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbti-notes, happy new year. I hope things are well. I (25F) would like your help in understanding my type. I've been trying for some time, but I still have doubts. The theory is a bit hard for me. I want to know my type mostly because I’ve kind of made it a challenge to understand MBTI. I also think it would help me understand people a bit better, but I should get my functions first and that can come later. I’ve been considering ISxP (which I also get on every test), but… I don’t know. I’ve considered IxFJ at one point, mostly for the Fe aux, but I have very little evidence for dominant Si and nothing for Ni and I don’t relate to the J description. I’ve followed the guide, I hope it’s enough

ABOUT DOM TI: 1) It happens that I point out inconsistencies in someone’s words or stuff like shows/movies/books, but I don’t think I’m quick to notice them.

2) I wouldn't say I’m wary of criticism, but sometimes I can get defensive or stubborn and might refuse to listen to reason. I just need to learn things the hard way, I guess (“maybe I’m wrong, maybe not, but I’ll test it myself”), or I need my time alone to process the new info, compare it to my thoughts, decide if it's pointless or not, etc. Other times I’m more prone to listen to it, especially if it’s about something I said/did that might have hurt someone. In that case, it’s probably because I expect it… I feel like everything I do ends up hurting people in a way or another and I don’t want that. For sure, it doesn’t make me feel invalidated, for example in therapy I find it fun being challenged all the time.

3) I do get confused about my feelings and I want to understand them, I want to give them the right importance, but I’m not sure I’m good at it. I guess it’s because my family has never been touchy-feely and I never felt like there was a safe space for me to express myself. Ever since I was little, I suppressed/rationalized a lot, but growing up I felt like almost everyone else was better at it than me. Like there was a secret method on how to handle emotions that I wasn’t privy to. As a teen, I felt like I was overflowing all the time, even though I apparently appeared almost apathetic to others. I used to self-harm because I didn’t know how to handle my anger.

4) I wouldn’t call myself a troubleshooter or a problem solver (more of a problem-avoider? ignorer?), but I do get extremely excited about solving puzzles or similar stuff. It’s so fun figuring out how things fit together, like finding ways to put everything in a suitcase, or trying to assemble furniture without instructions, or understanding game mechanics without tutorials. My friends never tell me how to solve puzzles in video games cause they know how fun they are to me and then they get surprised that I solve them in 5s when it took them 15 mins lol. I was a humanities student and in my major I was one of the few people who was extremely into linguistics. Learning about consonant and vowel shifts and understanding how we got from word to another; figuring out how the body makes sounds and why. The feeling when I can finally say “I get it! This is how it works! This goes here, that goes there, everything makes sense!!” is kind of unmatched to me and linguistics made me feel that all the time. To me, it made languages more concrete, less boring, like I could touch and play with them, like I could dissect them. I guess I want to reach that feeling with MBTI and the functions as well.

5) It’s not like I never ask for help–I’m a big fan of asking around when I don’t know what to do, if that’s what’s needed to solve the problem quickly (I mean things like asking for directions, for example). But when it comes to more personal things I'm more of a “if you want something done well, do it yourself” kind of person. We all have our own methods and we all have different ideas of a good result, so it’s best to take matters into our own hands. I also think others overcomplicate things. Like yes, fortunately, sometimes things are that simple. Why is it a surprise for everyone? I don’t like complicated, I like smooth and easy. To me, asking for help can feel like a waste of time because of this, and getting unwanted help can feel like an insult/intrusion (“do I look so incapable to you?/Is my life your responsibility or mine?”). I’m probably like this because my mom is a very anxious person and my dad loves to interfere/meddle�� from what they told me, I learned very early to never tell them anything. In my eyes, they made things impossible to deal with. I need a calm environment that gives me time to figure things out myself, weigh the options without external input (if I ask for someone else’s opinion in this cases it’s usually when I’m already 90% sure of what to do and whatever the person will say probably won’t change my stance) and prefer to wait until the last minute before finalizing anything.

6) If I don't have time for my interests I explode and I definitely don’t like to stick my nose in other people’s business, but isn’t it the same for most introverts?

7) I can be straightforward, but no more than average (it’s a common trait in my country). If a friend asks me whether a dress suits her or not, I will be honest, but like this: “I don’t think it’s your color and I don’t like the form, but I also don’t think my opinion should matter if you like it.” When people call me an asshole it’s because I can be overly sarcastic at times. I’m only like this with friends though, I don’t think it’s very respectful to just say whatever to strangers. As they say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. The problem is I don’t always know what's inappropriate to say and I find that other people get offended easily while I don’t, so I might end up being rude unintentionally…

8) I don’t get why people get so worked up over some things, but again, isn’t it the same for everyone? Others also don’t understand why I get worked up over what I care about, unless they care about it as well. I don’t get why people should be offended if someone doesn’t use polite forms, they don’t get why I’m against chatgpt.

ABOUT DOM FI: 1) I know what I like and dislike and don’t hide it because there’s no reason to. I tend to enjoy my interests openly, not caring about what others might say. It’s always been very easy for me. Call me a loser for still being a fangirl or playing rhythm games during breaks, call me weird for buying clothes from the male section, who cares? I’m not gonna stop.  I’ve been pretty open about liking women, too, despite my country not being very LGBT friendly, those are the least of my problems. I’d even say that sometimes being considered different from the rest can be an incentive to me. The same thing goes for my opinions/beliefs, I'm not gonna shout them from the rooftops, but I won’t lie about them when asked or when they come up in conversations, even if it’s scary sometimes (I find myself going against the current a lot, people call me a Mary contrary). I’ve just never seen the point in pretending to be someone I’m not: this is me and these are my thoughts, if you don’t like it just go find someone else, there’s billions of people. My mom used to tell me I’d end up alone like this and I used to say “fingers crossed!”

2) I have rolled my eyes at people who are too emotional/take things too personally, but… everyone reacts differently and I've been a pain in the ass myself. I love my parents, but my mom was a bit strict in my eyes. To her, if you didn’t want to do something, it often didn’t matter, you had to do it anyway. And if you wanted to do an activity she’d often try to change your mind (“having fun isn’t necessary in life”-my mom lol). She made me do things I didn’t want (for example, she chose for me what subjects I had to focus on in highschool), but I rarely hid my disagreement, even though I could get punished (she even slapped me sometimes). I remember this one time she brought me to a dietician against my will and was like “me and my husband think she could lose some weight…” (I had a normal weight but her ideal weight for me was underweight so she’d often take food away from my plate when she thought I ate too much). I said “if anyone cares, I don’t agree and don’t want to be here.” She was fuming because I embarrassed her but I was like “you didn’t respect me first!” I’m calmer now (though I can still be petulant, sulky) but I didn’t give a fuck about making a scene once. I could hardly take being wronged/disrespected by anyone, anywhere. I used to talk back to professors, too.

3) I’m not sure it is my feelings that guide me, but I don’t really like to go against my beliefs or what I don’t think is right (how was it, if you stand for nothing then what do you fall for?). I worked with kids in a school for a bit and, before I started, a family friend gave me some advice (he was a teacher all his life). He was like “you have to do this and that, it’s how it works.” I didn’t want to cause drama so I thanked him, but I thought “this isn’t right… I don’t want to treat kids the way my teachers treated us. New generations need different ways of learning and better educators. The school system in my country is already fucked, if we keep doing things by old rules nothing’s gonna change. I’ll assess the situation and decide how to proceed after the first day. If whatever I come up with works, then it works, if not I’ll get fired at worst so…” The kids apparently loved me and begged me to come back so I guess I did something right. However, for example, I didn’t follow my wishes when it came to uni: I went not because I genuinely wanted to, but because it was the most sensible thing to do to find a job and also to get my parents to stop nagging me for a while…

4) Rather than “soulless”, I think impersonal environments are… counterproductive? They’re just not right and don’t work. They go against the person, but most people don’t want to act like puppets or be ignored/silenced, they want to have the freedom to be. Some can bear it, but in the long run it doesn’t bring positive results.

5) I’m not too in touch with my feelings, but, again, I’ve always thought it was just because of the environment I grew up in. The hardest part of therapy is when my therapist tells me to describe how something made me feel because I rarely get it. It takes me an embarrassing long amount of time to understand what I’m going through. But I don’t pretend I don’t have them or consider myself above them… I think? And I do like to express myself creatively through my hobbies. I can draw, play a couple instruments and dance so I always have a chance to express myself. I especially like that all these hobbies let me express myself by using my body because all I create feels very intimate, very mine.

6) I don’t mind people who appear to lack feelings because, I mean, if someone doesn’t show them it doesn’t mean they don’t have them? I’m not here to force someone to express themselves in a way they’re not comfortable with… or at all.

ABOUT Se: I’m pragmatic, mostly carefree and easy-going. Sometimes I take things too literally and don’t like it when people read too much into my words. I’m honest about my flaws/fuck ups, about what I think I can or can’t do; I do it because why wouldn’t I, but it’s also my way to let people know I’m not here to judge. I’m generally aware of what’s going on around me–I have a friend who calls me her “personal observational skills”. I can be perceptive about some changes in the environment like misplaced objects or changes in colors. I constantly feel the need to touch things with my hands, like I can only truly say I’ve visited a place if I touch its walls. I generally choose to try new things purely based on if they sound fun/exciting/risky (like extreme sports) or if they involve my interests (I love food and cooking so I love trying new dishes/cuisines).

I don’t know how to explain this, but I tend to view some experiences in a somewhat impersonal/detached way, maybe? To me, anything can be an experience, even the smallest thing like touching a particular fabric you’ve never touched before, and no experience is ever the same, even if you do it twice, and no experience is more important than another. And because of this and because it’s impossible to know how something will turn out to be, anything can be exciting to me. Experiences just are, the excitement lies in the experience itself, in the fact that it happened and I got the chance to try it. People usually tend to distinguish between bad and good experiences. If I say I felt afraid, they think I had a bad time. If I hurt myself in the process, they think I don’t ever want to do it again. If I was vibing then it must have been a positive experience. I never know how to explain that to me experiences just are and whatever I went through should be removed from the judgement. Fear, pain, fun just happened to be a component of the experience but they weren’t the experience itself, they didn’t take anything away from it. The experience was just that AND I got to feel, touch, taste, see. They’re separate things. Maybe next time I won’t be afraid, maybe next time I’ll get hurt somewhere else. I don’t know if I make sense. People think I’m a bit like a robot sometimes because I’ve always viewed events in the same way, even dark ones like death. But death just is, it’s the way nature works. Things come and go and you can’t do anything about it but accept it. It doesn’t mean I’ve never been deeply affected by any of it.

Some negative examples of Se: 1. I spent my highschool years cooped up in my room resisting a lot of new experiences, even if deep down I didn’t want to (anything non school related = having a fight with my mom I had no energy for + “nothing in my life changes if I do this or not anyway so let's not waste time and money”). 2. I used to smoke because I thought it was cool, I liked the lingering smell of it on my hands and the risk of it. 3. During covid I played video games all day/watched animes instead of attending uni cause online lessons were boring and too hard to follow (I ended up graduating one year late).

ABOUT Ni: I’ve never been ambitious and never really set life goals. I’ve spent years believing I’d figure things out on the way, that if I took things as they came and one step at a time instead of heavily planning for a future I wasn’t even sure I wanted everything would’ve eventually made sense (“how do I know what I want to do in 10 years?! I mean, I guess I’d like to keep drawing for the rest of my life, but planning for a career? For a family? That’s too much and it doesn’t involve just ME. I know what I want to do today, but what if I don’t want to always do this job? Commitment is SCARY, constricting.” In middle school, in my country, teachers help us understand what we want to do after, and I remember struggling with the fact that I was only supposed to want to do one thing for life). Unfortunately, I still have no idea what I’m doing. For some time, this stressed me out. Everyone around me was pressuring me about the future but I had no answers and when I looked around I could only see relatives and family friends who got screwed over by life for one reason or another despite their perfect plans. My country’s misogyny also played a part in all of this (daughters are expected to help at home and be responsible, sons can do whatever they want with little to no consequences…). My train of thoughts: if my method doesn’t work, but their method doesn't either, what does? > nothing, freedom is a scam, no one gets what they want > I’m doomed for something I don’t want and that external factors will choose for me no matter what I do, just as it’s always been with my parents > there’s no point in trying, no point in making decisions, so I won’t. It all peaked during covid, since it forced me back to my room all day (before, I was away for uni). It all felt like a joke, like something kept wanting me to stay inside my room. In general, the “what’s the point” mentality comes easily to me (“what’s the point in having friends, it’s not like I can commit to the friendship/what’s the point in studying if I get the same grades when I don’t?/what’s the point in finding a new job, i’m not gonna like that either”). Another thing (Se-Ni?) is that sometimes I get this hunches about how things will play out and it often turns out that I’m right. Of course, I’m not clairvoyant, I’m just observant. One time I knew a friend was gonna become an ex-friend during our last hang out, from a few subtle changes in her behaviour which, to me, all pointed to this conclusion. No one else thought something was off about her, but in the end I was right. She texted me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore two weeks later.

ABOUT Te: I relate to feeling like a burden and a failure. To my friends because I never understood how to be a good one, to my parents because I could never be how they wanted me to be. I would’ve liked to be the “good friend/daughter” but there were things I simply couldn’t shut up about or compromise on. I thought, “everyone is different, why does their way of existing have to be the only right one? I accept people for who they are even though we don’t agree on some things/argue all the time, but they can’t even begin to accept me?” Nevertheless, it all made me very depressed. I thought there was something wrong with me and wished I could fix it to be easier to love or at least get everyone off my back. Then I realized that no matter what I did people would always find something to complain about so I just accepted my role as the black sheep. When stressed I get cold, angry, aggressive. Sometimes I feel pathetic, incompetent, insecure about my skills, but how can I not? I cheated my way out of school. I don’t really know the theory behind any of my hobbies because I want to figure it all out by myself. Does it matter if others say I’m good and call me wasted potential when all I see is that I don’t have strong foundations? It’s worse when my incompetence affects others. Since it usually annoys me when someone else’s incompetence ruins something for me, I hate giving others a bad time as well. Ironically, I also feel like most people are dumber than me, which is laughable. It’s just that so many seem to not have strong opinions on ANYTHING, or are never aware about what goes on in the world, or they deliver such poor jobs it makes me think “why do I feel less than when this is their level? I could do better”. In group projects at work, unless I think the people involved are capable, I tend to act pushy and bossy, electing myself as the leader because I think I’m the only one who can deliver a good job. I used to be like this in school as well.

ABOUT Fe: Even on a good day I can be socially awkward and miss a social cue or two. My mom tried very hard to drill “proper etiquette” in me and I try to follow social rules because I get that it makes others happy, but there’s some I simply do not get and might forget they exist. Sometimes I just decide not to follow them when I know there won’t be repercussions. I’ve been compared to a man because I was terrible at comforting people and froze when others got too emotional and wanted support (I’m a bit better now, but not because I get what I’m supposed to do, it’s just that I learned to copy others’ behaviors: “when this happens other people usually say X so I should probably say X”). If I don’t like someone or don’t know what to say I hardly keep the conversation alive.

Social relationships can be hard to navigate, sometimes they feel constricting, draining, because you have to let go parts of yourself, compromise, which is hard but I do it because I care about my friends and don’t want to hurt them. In my teens, I mostly had online friendships because I didn’t have to meet real life responsibilities that way (some of them I couldn't meet because of my parents, but still). In my life I’ve had people trying to fix me because my view of relationships is very laid-back… most of the stuff other people think is important is trivial to me. People wanted me to be able to read their mind or naturally care about some things or Idk. I thought, “why do certain things HAVE TO be important for everyone? They’re not for me. I bought you presents and came to the party because I see that’s important to you, but you can’t force me to care about the act. I care about you and love to see you happy, so I came. Isn’t that enough?” I used to be convinced that there was a right way to be a friend/partner and since I couldn’t meet the requirements, I believed relationships just weren’t for me. I didn’t want to keep hurting people so I became a bit of a loner even though sometimes I longed to be part of something.

I was thinking about Fe aux because sometimes I get angry/sad when I feel like people don’t appreciate what I do for them, or I don’t feel seen (because I remember a lot of things others say/do/like/are interested in but others don’t do the same for me), but I keep quiet about it bc I don’t think it’s very fair of me to feel like this since I definitely don’t do much for others and everyone shows care in different ways. Also, maybe it’s because for years I haven’t been mentally well, but it’s been very hard for me to find independence from my family (it shouldn’t be so hard for Ti/Fi, no? I’m not leeching off of my parents but I feel like I’m taking advantage of them since the economy is in shambles and I childishly don’t want to leave my comfort zones). And all things considered, even with the black sheep status, I still managed to be more of a good kid in the eyes of my parents than my brother, who recently upped and left. There’s also the fact that in my head I’ve recently been thinking about resigning myself to my duty, to stay behind and take care of what my parents will leave behind now that he’s gone. A responsibility that would've fallen on me in any case since my parents have never trusted him, but that I never wanted–and isn’t this more of a Si-Fe thing? And isn't Si-Fe also about being protective of the people you love, which I sort of am? (I often I can't help but be like this when explaining situations: "yes, this person was an asshole to me so I won't talk to them again, but if you think about it they probably acted like this because of x and y and z. Anyway, it's fine, I'll get over it"). Another thing I associate with Si is that I tend to compare similar (social) situations that happened to me, like this: “the way I broke up with this friend was very messy, it’s the same as that other time. I thought I changed so why did I fall into the same patterns? Could I have done something differently? Why did she say that thing?” etc. Like I’m studying, but then I get bored and just move on, even if sometimes I reach no conclusion (I mean, I can’t do anything about stuff that has already happened and anyway I’ll probably have forgotten all about my life-lessons by the time the situation repeats itself in the future so…).

----------------------

I understand why you're confused. I don't think you're a perfectly typical example of either type, so that can make it more difficult to tell the difference between them.

Generally speaking, SP vs SP comparisons tend to be challenging because SPs are not prone to deep reflection, so it can be difficult for them to dig deeper and describe their underlying motivations (I mention this not to judge it as a "flaw" but only to state facts). Although you've written a lot, much of it is still surface-level, so SP is likely the right direction.

All in all, for ISFP, I think that feelings and feeling-valuations don't play a big enough role in your psychology to qualify as dominant Fi. The evidence for inferior Te is likewise weak. What I see there is more likely to be some general self-esteem issues (due to your upbringing as well as not having your life in better order), which can afflict anyone of any type.

For ISTP, you haven't mentioned anything that would make me seriously doubt it. However, at the same time, taking everything all together, it's not quite enough for me to shout, "Yes, you are most definitely ISTP!!"

I take many, many factors into consideration when doing type assessment, and they all have to line up perfectly for me to feel confident in drawing a conclusion. The reason I still have lingering doubt in your case is because it seems you haven't done enough to recognize and develop the strengths of your personality. Or perhaps you simply haven't said enough about them. Type assessment is easier for me when I can envision what a person ought to look like at their very best. I'm not quite there yet.

This is good, though, as it should open up a new path for you. It's something you can reflect on and work on, for the sake of greater clarity, as well as for general self-improvement. IMO, once you have a better idea of where your strengths lie and you've learned more about how to express them out into the world successfully, your type should come into clearer focus. Just so you know, taking on more responsibilities in life would aid you in this endeavor.

[eyes-inthe-dark]

Hi Hello I actually make things sometimes

I don't know if anyone who follows me is interested in this stuff bc I very rarely post things from my own life, but I decided to be a little more active on here besides reblogging funny shit regarding my current hyperfixation.

So, here is the (incomplete) crafting diary of a neurodivergent trans person surviving christmas with the family and the dark and dreadful times (winter) in general by making shit! with my hands!

First: fiber stuff

I picked up tablet weaving over the last few months of 2023 and made my first pair of somewhat mistake-free shoelaces over the holidays! Only got the pattern completely right on the second try with the red but both laces now get to add a fun little detail to my shoes.

Next I tried a more complicated pattern and experimented a lot, hence the irregular pattern and troubleshooting at the start of the band. I'm now repurposing it as a camera strap and I learned a lot from it tho.

My current setup is basic cardboard tablets (I had to make extra ones so I had enough for the last band with 30 cards), tying the warp to something sturdy like a bookshelf, and sitting down with a backstrap belt on the other side of the room. I used thin wool yarn for this, which stuck to itself quite a lot, but not too much to be unmanagable, and I really like how the finished product feels.

If anyone's interested, I could make a longer post on how I made the shoelaces, I think it's a very beginner friendly project.

I managed to get my hands on a drop spindle and gave that a try, but I ran out of wool after making a very small amount of very chunky yarn and am currently working out where to best get sth local. It was fun tho!

I also finally finished the knitted scarf that has been in my wip pile for... approximately three years? I started it when I was still in school, feels like an eternity ago. It's just a simple (although very long) red wool scarf, but it keeps me nice and warm in this cold, harsh- *checks weather* ...5°C and neverending rain.

Next up: woodworking!

Noodled around with my grandpa's old dremel that we still had lying around, which resulted in this truly terrifying weapon:

Behold! I named it Toothling. It's great for poking friends and family when they least expect it.

This was more of a test run to see if it all still works and to try out doing small scale work with wood, now I gotta think of something fun to make. (I say, as if I didn't already have 50 different ideas)

Before that fuckery, I made this magnetic dice box/rolling tray for my lovely partner's birthday.

Though I don't feel like I can take credit for working the CNC magic on this, I did all the hands-on work with the sanding, assembling the magnets, shellac coating, and whatnot. I'm pretty sure wood is some sort of fruit tree, since it smells strongly of what I suspect might be plum or cherry.

Last but sure as fuck not least: embroidery

This I actually get professional instruction for at uni. I've kinda lost patience for it atm, but mostly because I cannot resist making unnecessarily complicated pieces with tiny little stitches and then am forced to finish it because I do actually kinda need to pass this class. My lecturer keeps telling me not to go so detailed, yet I have proven resistant to her good advice. But, I figured if I have to make two full pieces of embroidery to be graded on and put hours of work into, I might as well choose designs that I can turn into patches for my jacket:

Catha and Ruidus! I love me some big moon little moon imagery. The prompt was to incorporate most of the techniques/stitches we've learned so far. Added the little gold chain stitch around ruidus for the arcane latticework. It came out a little wonky shape wise, but I love it nonetheless.

And my most recent wip, a stained glass window design with the Ninth House skull and Gideon's sword behind it, to feed my current Locked Tomb obsession.

And that's it!

[ageless-aislynn]

Dear ones, I don't want to jinx myself, count my chickens before they hatch or whatever saying might strike your fancy at the moment but... After a week plus a few days of over 30 blue screens of death (8 of them in one hour), my computer has made it a day without one.

I had to finally wipe everything and start over and I finally, after sooooo many hours of research, I can't EVEN, am pretty sure I've discovered the source of the problem that linked my old computer, my dad's computer and this computer to all having nearly identical bsod issues: some absolute DOORKNOB of a person was putting the exact same third-party firewall back on all of them. Who was that doorknob?

🤷‍♀️

In my, I mean, in HER defense, that firewall has served very well for the almost 20 years I've used it. It says it's compatible with Windows 10 and 11 and all of my troubleshooting was blaming the various video/network/etc drivers. However, I discovered that ZoneAlarm took an update at almost exactly the time my other computer started having trouble 3 months ago. But ZA updates "silently" so I didn't know that until I went looking just now for the date of the last build, realized it corresponded almost exactly, and then I went

That said, I'm a little worried that it took me THIS LONG to realize that that was the single program all 3 had in common. I was just so used to using and relying on it that it didn't occur to me that it could be at the heart of all of the problems.

So, as I said before, it all boils down to

Right now, I've got almost nothing on the computer besides the browser and a new set of security programs. It's been an interesting way to see what my priorities are because I want to install one thing, wait a couple of days to verify everything's working fine, then install then next, wait again and so on, putting things back on slowly and deliberately.

BUT I WANT STEAM BACK ON NOWNOWNOW SO I CAN PLAY MY GAMES ZOMGGGGGG.

Apparently, I get actual buckets of serotonin and overall feel-good vibes from playing games because I'm absolutely frothing at the mouth at not being able to play anything at all.

Next will be Word so I can stop trying to read my utterly, drastically terrible handwriting from where I've been working on "15 Minutes" ch7 by hand (I might possibly be writing in Sangheili, I can't even tell anymore 🤷‍♀️😉).

Then eventually, Vegas. I'm worried about that one in particular because my research did uncover a potential Vegas Pro 15 - Win 11 conflict. Some people couldn't get it to work, others have no problem. I've seriously got my fingers crossed that it'll be okay so I can get back to GIF-making and vid editing, in whatever order. 🤞😣🤞

I've spent SO much time seeing blue screens that I find myself staring at the place on the monitor where the error info flashes, my notebook at the ready to scribble down the pertinent messages, just expecting another to pop at any second.

The last couple of times it popped, I was trying to read the debugging info from the LAST crash. And then it would crash again.

However, I can now report that, if you're ever using WinDbg to read your .dmp files and it tells you "symbols are WRONG" (and yes, it all-capped it just like that), I can actually tell you how to fix the dang symbols. It's a weird flex to take but hey, I'm taking it. It wasn't easy to find the answer to that one! 😠😕😉

If all continues on without any further crashes, then I'll hopefully be back catching up on things ASAP. If it resumes crashing while I have nothing more on the computer than a browser and the security programs the pc came with, then I'm just going to

Let's hope for the best, m'kay? Good thoughts, prayers, hopes, well wishes or whatever you've got are appreciated at this point. Love you, friends. I've really missed you all. 🤗💖

[attackedastoria]

In this rant essay I will be talking about entitlement in the new age of social media concerning the art fommunity and why It Is Bad

So. After witnessing an absolutely infuriating incident of a fellow artist being mocked, insulted, and generally dog-piled on for "gatekeeping", I really feel the need to address something becoming more and more prevalent in the artist community.

Artists are not here to hold your hand through learning their creative process. Full stop.

In this new, fast paced age of social media and everything being accesible at your fingertips, people want instant gratification for everything. Including art. I have witnessed, and personally experienced, time and time again, people asking artists for their exact process on how they created a piece of art. I'm not talking simple questions like, "Hi, what type of clay do you use?", or "What is your favorite brand of paint for this?"; I am seeing an increase of people demanding to know the EXACT process, step by step, and not only that, they expect the artist to give it to them freely, and hold their hand through it with a happy smile.

If an artist refuses, as is their right when it comes to the art they've likely spent a decade or more perfecting through means entirely self taught in most cases? Ah, I can hear the response now, like a screeching eagle upon the wind: "Stop gatekeeping! You're mean!"

We aren't "gatekeeping" anything. No one is entitled to an artists methods, time, or knowledge, *especially* for free. Thanks to social media, everyone seems to want to continuously consume content, from artists in particular, FOR FREE. People now feel entitled to *demand* artists for walk-throughs, how-to's, in depth videos or tutorials, and by God, if you refuse, you're gonna be sorry!

I've been creating art seriously since I was twenty. I'm nearly forty now. I am entirely self-taught. If I wanted to learn something new, I looked it up and researched it, or figured it out myself. No one held my hand through any of this. I never asked another artist for expliciy details on their methods besides maybe a, "Hey, do you like this clay or that clay better?", and even then, I never got upset if I didn't get a response, because I'm not entitled to their time. Everything I make, I figured out through trial and error until I was satisfied. Honestly, it's part of the fun for me, figuring something out and having it work the way I want it to.

Now, there are of course plenty of artists happy to share their methods. They are happy to be teachers, mentors, guides for other people. I applaud them for this, because it's very hard to be a teacher. I could never do it. Most people can't.

I dont have the time, setup, money, motivation, or frankly the personality to teach people anything. My art is also my *job*; it is how I make a living, pay bills, get through life. There's nothing wrong, at all, with an artist not wanting to share methods they've perfected in their art, which puts food on their table. Despite what so many people think, not all art is just a DIY hobby. ART CAN BE, AND IS, A REAL JOB THAT PEOPLE RELY ON TO SURVIVE. So why would an artist want just give away their hard earned methods that help put food on the table for free?

Anyway... I hate the term "gatekeeping", now. I'm sick of watching friends be attacked because they don't want to give away their time and knowledge to every person that asks for free. I'm tired of getting chewed out in DM'S or comments because I won't troubleshoot every single question someone who is trying to replicate my pieces has. Google is free. YouTube is free. Do your research and figure out like so, so many people before you have done. I promise it's more rewarding than badgering someone to do all the legwork for you.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk

[storyinmypocket]

I'm a nerd, raised by nerds. I like learning and tinkering! It's fun!

I'm also middle-aged, disabled, and cursed with a raging case of AuDHD, so I am in total agreement with this addition.

In the past few years, I've been getting more and more Apple devices. I'm ideologically opposed to a lot of Apple's bullshit, and I've ranted plenty in my life about Apple's walled garden and its refusal to let people repair their own shit (part of me still doesn't completely trust any computer that won't let me open it up and mess with its guts) but Apple products look and feel nice to use, and work right out of the box with a minimum of fuckery. I need devices I can still use when sick and brainfogged with no need to troubleshoot regularly. At this point in my life, that's non-negotiable.

I also have a home-built gaming PC, and a Raspberry Pi which runs Home Assistant with AdGuard as an addon. I love how much I can do with my little Pi. I don't love how I've had to start from scratch multiple times, though, because I realized x configuration would let me do more stuff I wanted, but oh shit, x configuration doesn't support device y without me needing to learn things a, b, and c... And sorry, I'd rather have the automations for my disabled ass working right now, for some weird reason.

I think the problem is that a lot of things like the Raspberry Pi and Linux spawned from hobbyist culture, where none of these things were necessary, so the culture valued mastery, with the rationale that if you don't want to do it the hard way, you filthy casuals can go back to your nice safe pre-built Windows PCs. I mean, I remember when Ubuntu was first introduced and some of the old-school folks were up in arms, convinced that the 'dumbing down' of Linux would ruin everything.

But the kind of gatekeeping that kept hobbyist discussions productive backfired long ago, and even its gentler, "Here's a tutorial! It's easy!" form still keeps people from accessing the things that could help them circumvent manufacturer greed. A lot of the people who find the number of ads added to things make the devices they paid for unusable don't have the time or technical skill to master the tools to solve their problems. It's not about bragging rights or showing off for your geek friends, but about just getting a solution that works even when you have jobs/children/disabilities that mean you literally do not have the time and mental energy required to master this new thing.

Unfortunately, the other side of the problem is that it's because these tools are built by hobbyists who don't have a financial stake in their software's success that they're both so intimidating to get started with, and also so effective. People aren't being paid to make these resources available, so they tend to make things for people at their level or slightly below, and user-friendliness comes later. But making these tools for-profit invites the same enshittification that got you unskippable repetitive ads in the first place.

I don't really have any good solutions, just the thought that if I go deeper into coding and FOSS, I should probably direct my efforts towards making things more user-friendly, before anything else. Let the people with higher proficiency mess around with the functional stuff, and just allow my relative ignorance to work in my favor when it comes to relating to people who just need a thing that works in a way they can wrap their heads around.

WTF do you mean jailbreaking my "smart" TV to install Linux in order to run adblock on my TV would be "Felony Contempt of Buisiness Model" That sounds like a crime made up by The Board in Outer Worlds.

[asphaltvalkyrie]

My coworkers sometimes post about their backyard chickens in the Slack chat, and its really making me want to get a few. I've got a big enough yard, outdoor hens are legal where I live, and Wyandottes are sooo pretty and apparently good for beginners.

But, part of responsible pet ownership is knowing when not to get a pet. I should know. I've spent my career working in animal shelters and vet clinics.

I know rationally that chickens would probably be a bad idea since I can't visualize myself consistently cleaning a coop, sterilizing a feeder/waterer or troubleshooting health problems, considering my depression-based bouts of executive dysfunction, and the fact that I barely go through a dozen eggs a month.

I think what I really want is a Bird Who Is Also My Friend because I just love birds so much. But most of the social species are parrots or parrot-adjacent, and require far more attention than I can give (not to mention the questionable ethics of keeping them as pets in the first place.) I also have 3 indoor cats, two of which would happily snatch a bird right off of my hand. So the only Friend Birds left are chickens, or perhaps pigeons, but I can't let pigeons out to run around my yard while I read or take care of the plants.

Maybe I'm going through my mid-life crisis, and its in the form of I Want Birds.

[vvatchword]

I fucking moved. Fuck that city in particular and fuck everybody in it except for the cool Bat Dude and the lady who gave me a ride so I didn't get rained on and the nice old grandpa who saw me staring into space at the hamburger joint (as one does).

Yes, I got into a stranger's car, but look. She was very nice and she reminded me of a dear friend, and I was so darkly miserable that the fact she asked was like a little ray of sunshine. Like look. Not everybody is fucking horrid, sometimes they're a nice librarian-looking lady in an SUV.

Oh, now I can't stop thinking of nice people. Let's face it: there were plenty of nice folks there. It's just that I'm not made for cities. There's what I thought I wanted and there's what I actually wanted.

I hate cities

I hate noise

I hate traffic

I hate rich people

I hate pollution (and so does my bird)

I hate the horrifying cost of living

I hate lights and need a real nighttime. If I can't see stars I begin to die. If your lights are so bright the moon disappears, you're too damn bright

I HATE public transit because...

I hate having to maneuver around homeless shenanigans. You know how many times I'd be genuinely terrified per month? Way too many times.

There were too many people everywhere I went. I would try to go shopping early to avoid rubbing shoulders and end up rubbing shoulders. There was just no easy way to avoid crowds.

Tamed nature. Do you know what I mean? Nature made as humans desire it, not nature existing outside of humankind. At the very least--nature that hasn't seen more than two separate human beings per month. I have learned a brand new appreciation for wastelands. I am not renewed by a park with a tree in it. I need to see land that doesn't need a sprinkler system.

I was constantly overwhelmed and I never got to do anything fun because I was too poor. Cool shit happens here, too, though. So I'm just going to try and go to something nice at least once per month. It's more expensive because you have to drive, but it's less expensive on the whole because half of my income isn't going to rent.

Moving was a nightmare. I basically packed up and left in a week. My dad contracted some friends from his church. They said they could help me pack if I wasn't done yet. Joke's on me: those guys didn't give a single fuck. They launched my belongings like we were Cape Canaveral. I thought I was going to die from the agony of seeing brain-dead rednecks bodyslam my books into boxes. I still haven't found parts of my stuff yet. Who knows where it's all gone. I'll find it eventually? I guess?

I proceeded to drive home in the dark and the rain, where I chugged energy drinks and longed for death. I stopped once to buy the best possible snacks I could find (Muddy Buddies, Dot's Pretzels, some donuts. My life is falling apart. I deserve nice things). My traveling partner was the sole surviving African Dwarf Frog (long story, but they started dying one by one, and she is the last).

Got home and weeks of abuse caught up to me. I proceeded to fall into a catatonic state for about two days. Caught up with myself today and finally set my PCs up. I have two; one is an old-school mid-tier gaming device from like. 2012. The other is my custom-built gaming PC from about three years ago. Anyway. I've been wanting to make them both dual-monitor machines but I had to do some troubleshooting, and I figured it out today.

I can't connect to ethernet because this house wasn't built with ethernet in mind. It's going to have to be WiFi. Ewwww. Oh well

Being home is a HUGE relief. My parents are ecstatic to have me. The DOG is ecstatic to have me. The bird is angry because I can just straight-up leave his sight now. The apartment may have been a hideous, dimly-lit hole, but it was a SMALL hideous, dimly-lit hole, and he knew where I was at all times. He has to hunt for me now and he hates it.

I can begin job-hunting again in earnest, as well as begin NaNoWriMo. I need to hit 5,000 words today. Wish me luck lol

[aesethewitch]

Content Poll for Supporters

Okay! All Gold and Platinum tier Ko-Fi members are free to submit responses to the content voting poll as of today! Descriptions of the topics up for vote are below the cut. (The vote may go public in a couple weeks depending on voter turnout!)

Musings on Energy Inputs and Outputs - Does the amount of energy you put into a magical working equate to the level of results on the other side? Where does energy for magic come from, and how can you better harness it? How much does fueling a spell actually matter? This may be either one long post or a pair of two posts on the subject of energy inputs and outputs.

Learning to Cook Like a Witch: Using the Scraps - When you cook, you generate waste. You could throw it away or compost it... or, in some cases, recycle and reuse it for other purposes! This idea applies to packaging and food scraps.

Guide on Ambient Spells - An ambient spell is a spell that you cast and leave. They can be wards, vibe-checkers, vibe-changers, prosperity-drawers, baneful, beneficial, or anything else. These are a hallmark of my practice, since they're self-fueling and very much a "set it and forget it" type of working.

Research into "this is for you" style divination - The phenomenon of YouTube and TikTok videos claiming that "if you're seeing this, it's for you!" has fascinated me for a long time. Are these videos legitimate? Are these divinations accurate? Who are these videos for? What do the people posting these videos believe? And what about pick-a-card readings or collective readings? Are those any better, or are they to be lumped into the same odd category?

Basics of Making a Tarot Spread - So, you've got a question to divine for, but you're not sure what kind of spread to use. The ones online don't quite fit, so you've got to make your own. But how do you do that? How do you decide how many cards to use or what those cards should mean? This post will give a basic overview of what goes into designing an effective tarot spread.

Tips on What to Do if Your Divinations are Always Wrong - We've all been there. This post is mainly for folks who already know how to do divination of some kind. It will probably focus primarily on tarot, since that's where most of my expertise lies, but I'd like to touch on other methods as well. The goal is to help you troubleshoot divination gone awry to identify the root problem and figure out a suitable remedy.

Talking to Dead People: Tips for Working with Ghosts - It's where I started, and I've been reconnecting with my dead friends gradually over the last few years. This includes ancestors, of course, but it also includes regular old hauntings. Get an idea of what a haunting actually looks like (spoiler: not like Ghost Adventures), how you can connect to ghosts, and general etiquette I've picked up over the years.

[slutshamingglarncurious]

My Strangetown 03-02-2023

After roughly 1 season in each household:

(playing ts2 super collection for mac bc i want to play on my laptop / can't be assed to troubleshoot ultimate c right now lolz)

i borked up the play order so a couple things weren't ideal. I think I'll eventually switch to a more wants-based playstyle, but for now I want them to do things I want them to. I do let them do a lot of things autonomously though.

Curious:

Pascal - gave birth to fem!Tycho. made an autonomous first move on Nervous, and ofc they fall in love so very easily lol. Pascal took Nervous's last name unfortunately. there're enough Curiouses in town so oh well. He got demoted for a chance event where he stood up for himself and then got the want to quit his job (which ended up being a positive memory so) I don't know what to do with him in those regards.

Nervous - Nervous and Pascal got married before any Beaker household shenanigans could even occur lol sorry no angst. Nervous being a family sim is having a pretty good time atm, I've kept the 'adopt a child' want locked that both he and Pascal have had since getting married, but I'm waiting until after Vidcund gives birth to bring another fuckin child into the house. (yeah Vidcund hasn't even given birth to his initial child(ren) and Pascal and Nervous are married and live together don't talk to me)

Vidcund - is doing some very helpful autonomous childcare for Tycho, so I think he'll be a better papa than I ever anticipated him to be. I did force twins and I'm really hoping for girl/boy I want to name them after his paternal grandparents Zo and Notzo because it's hilarious and the names kinda fit alien vibes? (I've seen people who have a single female baby name her Violet which is everything tbqh!) For now no romantic interests. Maybe he can become the resident 'gardener' heh heh heh.

Tycho - green baby :) is p high values for personality except is lazy (2/3 points) just started toddlerhood!

Nervous and also Vidcund maybe? had wants to adopt a kitten/pet so they have a kitten named Grim. Little s/o to Nervous's heritage m'pose.

Curious

Lazlo - I'm sowwy I married him off to Crystal and moved them downtown so fast bc i wanted more room in the house. I do slightly regret it but hey Lazlo invites himself over all the time. I wish I could get him his little hydroponic weed garden back since he left it back home. Also Crystal had given him a hot tub from their incredible date -- which had ended in woohoo and Pascal setting the kitchen on fire at the same time lol. His lifetime want is to reach the top of the scientist career but idk if that's really in line w his character aha.

Crystal - is a senator??? in my save. which is.. funny since ya know. Lazlo is a grimy little pothead sillyman. I need to spend more time with her to develop her character bc rn she's just some guy to me. I'm mad I made Crystal pregnant so fast instead of having them adopt a child later on in life.. oh well. (I made too many babies too fast bc I haven't played ts2 in ages and got overexcited...) Tycho and eventual baby Nova the cousins ever.

Beaker

Loki - has become good friends with Lazlo from bringing him home from work. real strange duo, but I guess Lazlo is the only one who never tried to get with Circe lol. He spends a lot of time cooking for his epic wife, and did a lot when she was pregnant so that she didn't have to eat burnt tv dinners all the time!

Circe - unfortunately for her, she and Loki rolled 'have a baby' after they woohoo'd early on. So Circe has had to stay home from work multiple days, and I feel bad bc she constantly rolls the want to 'go to work'. She seems to be slightly inferior to Loki when it comes to autonomous parenting, but the baby hasn't been taken away so good job mumz. She has gotten that promotion she wanted and is on track to get plenty more.

Ceres - their first child was a baby girl. she's still a baby and i'm a vanilla player so I know nothing abt her yet! I hope they can have a boy Atom, but since Circe doesn't seem to want to miss work ever I might make Loki get abducted? idk!

Singles

Lola - god this household was a struggle to get moving bc there were no jobs available that they wanted ever. So after a few days Lola got a job in the law career! She's girlbossing tf up. Did I consider getting her with Ajay simply so her name could be Lola Loner? Of course I did. However!! Since the game doesn't start you off with enough gay people I take the 'beard' turnoff to mean she doesn't like men teehee.

Erin - "but wait," you just thought, "doesn't Erin also have the 'beard' turn off?" YES! welcome to my rarepair. Girlboss x girlfail. I'm obsessed with them. (They both had a lil chemistry w each other so i jumped on that. listen I'm pushing things but not totally forcing them ok??) She has not rolled a want to get a job since she first moved in now it's gone so she's just freeloading.

Chloe - was surprisingly the first one to get a job because the slacker career was what she wanted and it was available on like day 1 or 2. Not feeling super inspired by her atm. she's fulfilled 1/20 woohoo partners for her lifetime wish (which I rerolled a few times bc I want them to be actually fucking doable) she gets on my nerves bc she fights Erin and Kristen so goddamn much. And I should mention they live in 73 road to nowhere which is the most evil demented build ever it is so unpleasant to play in and is tiny but was all they could afford.

Loner

Kristen - was so desperate to get out of the house she eloped with Ajay ahaha... (I had to do quite a bit of cheating relationships to get them together bc they never wanted to come over to each others houses and had only met once before) I had originally planned for Kristen to go for ladies but she was so miserable at home. and I wanted Ajay to pair up with a Singles lady but not Chloe (for now..) She also had joined the athlete career and got fired the first fucking day bc of a chance card like it was so bad. She's now in the medicine career bc it suits her personality/skills? I don't like how it kind of all goes against the tiny amount of character background she's given, but whatevs maybe she'll become an all-star athlete later. (Maybe she'll also realize she's not meant to be married to a man)

Ajay - literally just some guy. in the business career. has impregnated Kristen bc again, I got too excited about pairing people off and creating offspring. I'm not rly sure what I'll name this baby or why I'm having it. Maybe I'll get them taken away by social services and the Smiths can adopt to fulfill their family aspiration desires ooh. I think he might cross paths w Chloe a couple more times, hookup perhaps... destroy the marriage perhaps)

Smith

Poltech 9 - I call him Pete/Petey (PT) for short sometimes. He spent like 3/4 days straight only rolling 'adopt a pet' wants and I wanted to tear my hair out bc I adopted a cat and dog both for the family but he wouldn't stop rolling it. But all the family related events gave him a lot of aspiration points and I got him the elixir of life bc I mistakenly thought this could age him and now-elder Jenny down so they could have more kids but now they're both old and both have the "have 10 kids" want. which I want to give them!! so now they're gonna be adopting hella kids.

Jenny - She's newly elderly. Hasn't retired yet. I think I'll get her one more promotion before doing so. She does more parenting because PT9 can only just barely manage to take care of his own needs. (He doesn't even work!!) I wish I could've given her the elixir of life before she aged up :'-( so she could have more kids w her mans. everytime one of them enters the room as the other they get the little heart-y thought bubble and fan themselves. they're so in love.

Jill - she aged up with one of the outfits with a spiky collar lol. I guess she misses Johnny and this is how she expresses it. She's a popularity sim bc I hadn't made any rules for myself yet. Might change it to knowledge? she's just the little silly so I'm gonna let her explore her teenaged times.

Abhijeet - adopted child numero uno. So much for J names! or names with any connection to the family at all lol. I accidentally let the adoption popup time out but I wanted a child anyways. He's been here for like 1.5 days and I don't have a feel for him yet so we'll see!

Heidi - (named after an irl dog friend of mine) black large doggy. first pet adoption. she works in service.

Red - (also named after a real cat) was a red(orange) kitten but aged up and is now black?? so... Don't I look dumb...

Smith

Johnny - of course is an adult now. he wants to be a rock legend, so he's working towards that. He lives downtown with his now wife Ophelia. (they wanted to get engaged immediately okay they're super in love okay?) They live downtown bc I thought it suited the two of them.

Ophelia - is now a Smith. I'm kind of sad the Nigmos name is now totally gone, but i'm trying to honor her family other places. She aged up and immediately had aspiration failure because she had seen a ghost the day before and didn't go to university (I'm sorry you never rolled the want / I kind of forgot) All the "grew up bad" memories with Olive line up with this though! Ophelia had a horrible pregnancy, constantly exhausted and always needing to eat 2/3 servings of food in a row. I ultimately do think she's happy though bc she's living with Johnny and is away from Olive's ghost party.

Willow - the baby was a girl! (which makes 3 girls so far??) I thought it'd be really sweet to name her after Ophelia's late mother and only a couple minutes later did I realize I named this child Willow Smith lol. It's fine it's cool (I think irl Willow Smith is kind of Johnny x Ophelia core actually?? brand new sentence lol)

Specter

Olive - uhhh she deadddd... she started dying literally as Ophelia was doing the moving out sequence so I got the fun "you have killed off all your sims in this household bozo" popup. She sent Nervous a whopping 2000 simoleons of inheritance!! The Specter estate is now vacant.. maybe one of Nervous or Ophelia's descendants will move in years down the line. She died with plat aspiration so that was cool. Because she actually likes seeing ghosts! (ahem Ophelia cough ahem)

Grunt

General Buzz - as soon as I loaded in the lot he was playing with lil Buck and having a grand ol' time. He mostly just goes to work and comes back home. Haven't had any real luck or inspo with developing outside relationships (maybe he'll be one of Chloe's flings lol) He did get a 50,000 simoleon bonus for evaporating an asteroid about to collide with earth so that was pretty sweet. I need to figure out how to spend it lol.

Tank - is now waiting to go to La Fiesta Tech in the bin. He mostly just wanted to impress his father and fight Ripp. I think Ripp actually beat him though.. I'm probably gonna set him up with that one La Fiesta evil gay twin because they are silly and cute!

Ripp - is such a good brother to Buck, they get along so well without any effort on my end. Which is good for him since he isn't friends with Tank or Buzz, and Ophelia and Johnny are adults living downtown. I want to get him with Jill Smith, but of course they keep playing phone tag with each other. Soon... I guess I'm trying a lil too hard.

Buck - what can I say, he's just a little guy. He did make his rounds in the obstacle course outside thanks to dad, and is still doing very well in school. He likes Tank, loves Ripp, and he also loves General Buzz I think. I suppose he's a little softer on him since he's the baby of the family and last child Lyla left him. The game immediately had other plans for the whole "he wonders why his father never seems to notice him" thing, but maybe that'll change. No idea what his future holds.

I spent like at least 2 hours writing all this, I'm gonna start a spreadsheet soon probably. Also need a more organized way to write summaries for these characters, but at least I've written it somewhere i.e. here. Time to not give my back a break and spend the day hunched over my laptop again.