#I've been very absent in everything tbh

[sweet-cuddlebug]

My Homestuck OCs

I'm not sure if I'll ever actually finish them (they've been months without being edited or continued, they're just... there in one of my drawing apps) so I might as well just show them to you guys :o/

Again, godtier designs by @superxstarzz <3

[foli-vora]

hello boys...

^not my gif.

New house, new shit, new fucking vibes. It's great. But enough of that crap, let's get to the shit I know you want to hear about, starting with the most asked about and requested fic...

!'RUN TO YOU' WILL BE RETURNING JULY 28TH! I know it's still a while away but I'm just tweaking some last minute things in upcoming chapters like sentences that make my eye twitch and throwing in more italics for ✨drama✨ because you know I love that shit. I also decided to delete and re-do a bunch of scenes because apparently taking a break means coming back to your WIPS and going "ew wtf is this trash". Also I'm still finishing up the last couple of chapters. It will be updated weekly on Sundays.

'One Step at a Time' will also be returning... ...after a whooping fucking 15 month wait. Fuck me, I'm so sorry. Time is baffling - I swear it doesn't feel that long to me. I hope the story that's coming is worth that wait because holy christ on a bike. I swear you're in for a good time. Unlike RTY. Updates on IDK what day. Once RTY returns, I'll pick a day of the week for Tovar. Tovar Tuesdays, maybe?

Other shit. We know I've got a lot of other shit in that docs folder lmao. Look, I'm just going with vibes. The stories I feel still have something there, I'll continue and finish. The others, I'll just say sorrows, prayers and delete the thing coz it's 2024 and we're getting our shit together this year. 'My Only Wish' will be finished before I miss Christmas in July, and 'Hold Me Down' will definitely be addressed along the line. There'll also be some things I've not mentioned before, either because I didn't want to or because it came during my depressed bean absent period. Sooo... wait and see, I guess?

Alright, so that's that I guess. Actually shit scared of coming back tbh LMAO, but let's see how we go. I am very sorry for the delays with everything though! Honestly wasn't expecting everything to take this long, but now that it's all sorted, I'll just jump back on the wagon and pray I don't fall off.

K, that's enough from me. Sorry for the rambles lmao. Thank you for the love and support while I've been away 💖

[pinkgy]

After disappearing for about 3 months, I just wanted to say that I’m fine ! My life just got pretty hectic all of sudden, my country’s current political situation demotivated me greatly and I went through a lot of stress while working on getting into college.

I’m much better now tho, my country’s still a mess, but I can’t talk about that here myself because of very fucked up reasons, but I’m already working on compiling enough information so that someone who can post it safely can do it for me.

I've never been absent from the game tho, I’m on tune with everything, so here’s a little update.

1. Glad the anniversary Gacha went good for anyone, because for me it went as bad as it could 😭 also, wtf was that anniversary ? I think that for the amount of stuff us f2p players have been through we deserved better, but okay ig, let’s just hope they can be nicer to us in the future, I’m not going to make another super long post complaining about Prettybusy’s decisions with the game because by now I think we all know that they don’t really listen to them.

2. How in the world are they going to make WHAT IN HELL IS BAD a +12 game ? Is that even possible ? I mean as long as they don’t neglect the actual game I’m fine with it, but wtf.

3. Asmodeus, I expected better tbh, I looooove his design, probably my second favorite between the kings (first one is Belphegor) but the fact that he’s waaaay to lusty makes me feel conflicted, I know it sounds super dumb, but anyways, I doubt I’ll be able to write something about him until I read his card.

4. Foras and Gamigin are the best nobles in the game, and I’m ready to fight however says otherwise.

5. I REALLY wanna write a theory about Seraphim lore, but I’ve never gotten right any theory I’ve made in this blog, so I would rather remain with my dignity intact, also, I don’t have any of the seraphim (and Lucifer’s) cards, so I don’t hold enough information to do that.

6. You might have noticed by now that my Gacha luck sucks, not only in Whb, I uninstalled Tears of Themis since I got frustrated because I didn’t get Vyn’s anniversary card.

7. I haven’t forgotten that I promised a fanfiction with a seraphim reader and a Devil king LI, I’m almost finished with organizing all the ideas I have for it, I want to decide the plot before I post anything so I can be sure I won’t regret anything later.

8. I love Lucifer (from the game, I’m catholic and that sounds really bad lol, my uncle is a priest he would die if he heard me saying this)

9. I GOT TO 300 FOLLOWERS !!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA TYSMMMMMMMM I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for waiting for me !! I’ll try my best to not disappear again and I promise I’ll get to work rn with the requests.

Love y’all sm ❤️❤️❤️

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Hey ho, have you seen The Creator (2023) yet? Unsubtly about US imperialism, but also really moving, aesthetically stunning (Greig Fraser as DP, oh yeah) and John David Washington killing it in the main role. I was surprised by how much there was to love. xoxo

I fucking LOVED The Creator and kept trying to write something about it here but never managed to collect my thoughts. But yeah what a fucking movie, oh my god. I feel like it kind of got buried by lack of publicity but tbh I am not that surprised because it's one of those movies with politics that make you think how the fuck did they get away with making this.

Gareth Edwards, like Villeneuve, is a director I've been paying attention to for a while now, ever since his 2010 movie Monsters, which was a really impressive low-budget sci-fi with effects that just looked seamless and interesting things to say about borders and the human cost of militarized responses to disastrous events.

And then he did Rogue One and pulled off something very impressive, which is to take one of the most famous sci-fi weapons of our era--the Death Star, a metaphor for nuclear weapons so iconic it has become a symbol in itself--and made it actually fucking scary for the first time in the history of the franchise. And he did it by turning the camera around.

Because the thing is that before this point, we had only ever seen the Death Star from the point of view of the people firing it. The idea of a planet-destroying weapon is intellectually horrifying but we didn't really ever feel it. Because for that we need to see the weapon from the point of view of its victims. It's such a simple but radical shift in perspective, and I feel like Gareth Edwards took that idea from Rogue One and then made it into a whole movie with The Creator.

The Creator, for those unfamiliar with the premise, is about a near-future counterinsurgency war in which the US military is hunting down various forms of AI/android/robot beings. It also features a space-based super-weapon that is eerily beautiful but goddamn fucking terrifying. It was mostly shot in southeast Asia and heavily evokes Vietnam War imagery (as the ending of Rogue One did as well); it is probably about as close to "Vietnam War movie but you're rooting for the Vietnamese" as it is possible to make in the American studio system. The protagonist is still an American soldier (who defects and "goes native" fairly early in the movie) but making him a Black disabled veteran was certainly a Choice. And yes it's John David Washington and he's great in it.

It feels facetious to say The Creator is Reverse Terminator, because it's much richer than that, but it's also kind of fucking true. For the entire movie, the characters are just running for their lives from the implacable and overwhelming destructive force of the US military which is just crushing everything in its path.

The movie does a lot of things that you simply do not see in most American war movies, but the one that stands out to me the most is that in every scene of war violence there are civilians, including children, fucking everywhere. It really threw into relief for me how often American war-action movies create these empty video game environments for soldiers to run around in, where any actual people who might live in the place where the war is happening are at best props and at worst completely absent. (Alex Garland's Civil War, in addition to being terrible in every other conceivable way, is a particularly bad offender at this.) The Creator does what really should be the bare minimum of taking time to showing that these are people whose homes and lives are being destroyed and it is shocking how novel it seems. (There's a line that plays in my head all the time where one of the AI characters says something to the effect of, "Do you know what will happen to the humans when we win this war? Nothing. We simply want to live.") I will also say that this made it a very intense watch in late October 2023 in particular, but it is fiction so we get a very satisfying and cathartic ending. And yes it is an absolutely gorgeous movie, the VFX are mind-blowing, and I found it quite moving.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 138 thoughts

ruby's honkshoosnorkmimimi pajamas are back fuck 137 this is REAL cinema

All joking aside, there's a lot less to talk about in (MOST) of this chapter, though that's obviously by design. This is a cool down chapter (FOR THE MOST PART) to give us (SOME) breathing room in the aftermath of the RBKN fight and while it's not totally devoid of substance, it is for the most part just a good time spent with some members of the cast who haven't gotten as much focus lately and it does what it sets out to do pretty well, aside from some minor gripes here and there. I won't lie, I smiled a ton while reading this one even if I don't have so much as half as much to say about it as I did 137.

That said, my first gripe off the bat is the biggest one which is, once again, the total lack of reaction from Aqua to… literally anything that just happened. 135 didn't really go that deep into his feelings and despite 136 very deliberately highlighting Aqua's presence during the filming of that pivotal scene and even focusing on his stunned reaction to Ruby's adlib, he is jarringly absent from 137 and the return to Aqua focus here (even if we are still being excluded from his POV) feels all the more sudden and strange for not patching that back up. I've already said a ton about what I think of Aqua being written this way recently so I'll just reiterate that if this is an intentional choice, I still really don't like it.

Moving onto things I did enjoy about this chapter: basically everything else! For some reason that panel of Taiki outside Aqua's place in his car absolutely fucking killed me, if nobody makes an edit of him saying GET IN LOSER WE'RE GOING SHOPPING i'm gonna have to do it myself. frill's lil sippy drink too. god bless.

Taiki and Frill are honestly kind of he MVPs of this chapter. Their banter is fun and Frill is, as usual, an unparalleled delight. Her inviting Memcho along and casually admitting it's because Mem is her oshi……. Frill is the most powerful Oshi no Ko character because she can effortlessly flirt with girls AND boys. Bisexual women truly are stronger than God.

himekawa crashing his car is like the funniest thing that's ever happened in this manga imagine being the wettest funniest most pathetic little failboy in a manga where aqua hoshino is the lead character

mem continuing to be the last person to realize she's in the manga she's in was also really good. the psychological toll of being the only normal person in oshi no ko

The talk that the gang has when Mem finally starts putting two and two together is basically my other only gripe about this chapter, though I do really like it in a lot of other ways. Mem's expression when she finally puts together just how young Kamiki would have been when Himekawa was conceived and what that means for both Kamiki and Airi was more excellent expression work from Mengo -- tbh she has been killing it on the character work in general these last few chapters.

This does, however, imply something very interesting about the movie which is that Kamiki's victimization at the hands of Airi may not be part of it. If it was in the script, this would not be new information to Mem the same way Himekawa and Aqua's relationship is but she seems genuinely sincerely aghast when she puts it together. This (AMONG OTHER THINGS) raises some really interesting questions as to exactly how Kamiki (or 'Boy A', as it seems) is being incorporated into the movie's story and how his relationship with Ai is going to be portrayed.

From here, this potentially recontexualizes Himekawa's lack of reaction to the script. He didn't learn this information through those means and in fact seems to have taken the role specifically because he already knew and because he feels some sense of responsibility or even just a desire to take on and purify the weight of the sins his parents committed. This does resolve my issue with how quickly Himekawa seems to adjust to this new information, because it turns out to not be new info… but it does end up just sort of coming back around to my original issue of Himekawa not being given the time or focus to process this.

Honestly… now that I think about it, it's kind of a lot worse?! Given what he shared of their (presumed) family history with Aqua in chapter 68, it's pretty clear he had no idea what Airi had actually done. Aqua himself only finds out the truth in chapter 98 so we can presume he shared this info with Himekawa at some point… just, you know, entirely offscreen with no indication this had happened or that they were still in regular contact and, once again, with no time or focus spent on Himekawa finding out and coming to terms with the idea of his mother being a child rapist. We've had almost 40 entire chapters since that point… are you really gonna tell me we had no time for that??

It's frustrating for a lot of reasons but mostly because it makes this conversation fall a little flatter than I think it COULD have if we had more time following Himekawa as he processed his feelings about it. Just one of those things I wish OnK would take more time to breathe with.

rip himecarwa we'll never forget you

ANYWAY. LET'S TALK ABOUT THE REAL STAR OF THIS CHAPTER. BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK

i'm only mostly kidding here the explosion of kamiki thirstposting in the wake of this chapter was so funny we are all hoshino ai

Anyway, all joking aside, this was a really interesting conversation in terms of the implications it has for Kamiki's involvement in the movie. Off the bat, it addresses the issue that's been kind of the elephant in the room which is that you can't just… make movies about real people without their permission! This chapter explicitly clarifies that everyone involved in the movie gave their permission for it to happen (which explains some of the in-universe fictionalized elements; without permission to do certain things, the story has to be changed to accommodate it) but that the movie equivalent of Kamiki doesn't even have a name. Given that this is a movie intended to 'kill' Kamiki as revenge, it raises some shrimptresting question as to wtf the final product will even be

This also confirms Kamiki to be at least a step or two ahead of Aqua here; some folks were speculating that he had Nino as his spy on the production but given Kaburagi's presence here - and the fact that he most certainly seems to know more about Kamiki than he's letting on - it looks to me like my man already has people at the top feeding him information. Not only that but he's sponsoring the very movie supposedly set to destroy him? Very shrimptresting… I don't know that we'll find out what Kamiki's up to anytime soon but hearing more about his involvement was exciting anyway.

also just one final shout out for that final page of Kamiki. It feels like Mengo changed his design a bit so he's not so much of a flat out Aqua Clone and I do like said changes. my man hasn't slept a DAY since ai died.

[variousqueerthings]

OKAY ten episodes into due south and we've got some new takeaways + some doubling downs

just had the christmas episode which means "just had the episode where fraser hallucinates his dad" and I am. very sure. that this show will never come to this conclusion, but mr benton fraser, your dad was not a good dad, and "wishing you'd spent more time with him so you could learn more" was never your fault and also... all this hero-worship for a man you didn't know, because he made it so you didn't know him, you may have had an icon/figure/image you wanted to emulate, but you didn't have a dad

also im perhaps doing fraser sr. a disservice, but I really do wonder about how long he knew about the dam. this was his area after all. but i think it's comforting to fraser jr to think his dad was only briefly hooked and then did the right thing immediately, but going by the hunter idk... also darnit benton fraser get that man down from the pedestal, you're doing yourself an injury craning your neck to look up all the time, when he's not worth it! (but also big big fan of this as a major blindspot he has, characterwise)

also in the christmas episode some rare rare ray backstory, and his father was abusive, so we're really getting guy A: absent father whom he wishes desperately to still be the perfect son for and live up to the Ideal of (benton) and guy B: abusive father who taught him to duck and to never hit kids (cos they don't learn anything from it), which is a very clear background for his cynicism and sense that people don't improve that we meet him with

TO GO BACK SOME EPISODES:

Pizzas and promises: fraser in ray's clothes (ray is now keeping them in a shrine in his closet)

I have said this before (somewhere to someone) and I will say it again: I like to read asexuality and aromanticism into characters, I enjoy it, I especially enjoy finding ways it can work with established canon (say, a character who does have relationships, ok so how does this work, etc) but. BUT. Benton Fraser. there's no reach?? that's just an aromantic asexual man there. to the point that it's a recurring joke that this beautiful beautiful man does not wish to flirt (or doesn't understand it's happening), does not want someone undressing in front of him (sexually, he clearly doesn't mind ray taking a shower), does not even consider himself as a sexually attractive person and is continuously surprised whenever someone else does, etc. have been informed that paul gross at one point said he doesn't think he's a virgin, which ofc opens up all kinds of new doors to think about (idk if this is ever established in the show, so we'll see, because it obvs changes the direction of thought depending on if yes or no)

but yeah, fraser literally holding a hand over his eyes because he's so disturbed by the car saleswoman undressing and then saying something like: "oh... dear. an accident..." before running out (hand still over his eyes...) -- also in that episode we have one of several "ray saves fraser in a desperate last-ditch way and fraser seems to think it's all premeditated and ray is a little frustrated" which plays very well into hc's about ray wanting fraser to Pls Stop Constantly Putting Yourself In Bodily Harms Way!!!!

Chinatown: ofc he speaks chinese. this is also such a Community Episode, continuing the idea that fraser is becoming this big name around the [insert chicago area] known for helping people (+ i bet he'd get free meals in chinatown for the rest of his life). also ray's face when he ordered at the restaurant was perfect -- just when fraser couldn't get more larger-than-life...

chicago holiday prt 1+2: ok well, obvs it's all about the bdsm club - fascinating that it's not something that makes fraser more uncomfortable than just every day life, which tbh, tracks as an aroace (in this case especially the ace part of it), because everything is sexual all the time, leather isn't distinctively sexual. "punish me I've been bad" made me fucking cackle though. y'all want fraser to be a dom so badly. that man is not a dom. at best he could do some praise kink, but that's all he's got in him - the fact that there are two police raids on this place. and like. it's not just queer people in there necessarily, but it definitely has several queer people. and the police chief calls them perverts. it's very much the overlap between kinkphobia and queerphobia (which, ultimately, is almost the same thing, in that queers are considered kinky, and kink is considered queer). so i'd say it's probably the worst look we've seen for the local police force so far BUT it does fit with the overarching setting that is: ---- systemic, casual injustice and bigotry ---- full of real-world people ---- also a little bit of a fairytale (fraser's pov of the world) ---- plays into explorations of ray who has one foot in the "real" world (which is unjust and cruel and harsh and he's just trying to survive in it without getting into too much trouble, he's just "doing his job") and one foot in fraser's world (the belief that everyone is fundamentally worthy of respect and decency, because everyone is a person, and that this respect will be paid back). he's not a perfect person, as is often shown, and this isn't his finest hour. I like that both fraser and the barkeeper AND the femmedom all call him on it in one way or another ---- am i remembering right, I believe this was also the episode where ray said he didn't even think fraser was a proper cop, because of fraser's ethos, which is very funny because... he isn't. my man is fired, he is not legally a cop anywhere, because he was too good a person for the job. he's an Embodiment. an Ideal. of Something (Justice, Decency, The Wild, idk), but he is not a cop my man. he got arrested in the raid too! in fact if it wasn't for ray imprinting on him, he'd have been in so much trouble several times! - also I mean. I said it, but if everyone wants fraser to be a dom, then people think ray's a bit subby, but going by their dynamic, ray is fraser's daddy. buys him nice stuff, makes sure he eats, socialises (with him), chastises him for putting himself in danger... anyway, obvs @gjdraws and I have ahem... discussed this

a cop and a mountie and a baby: shockingly this wasn't as gay as I thought it'd be. there's a bit of stuff when they're around the park, but actually the main takeaway of this episode is that this woman had heard of fraser's reputation and staked her baby on it, wild. fraser my guy. you're already a legend

There's a lot of I've forgotten to say/wrote to GJ in much ramblier paragraphs but The Gist

MISC: - the leather jacket fraser wears... inherited? bought in canada? it's such a distinct third Fit to his mountie clothes - fraser has some unhinged parenting takes, but who can blame him because his dad sucked!!!!! (okok, I'm over it... no I'm not) - ray... I didn't get into just how many moments there are of ray being in love with fraser, idk they just keep coming. every episode, it's like a tidal wave. think a notable one was end of "chicago holiday" where he brings fraser something to wear so they can go out together, just cos. but he does things for him "just cos" all the damn time! - elaine! third? bestie? i think she deserves to leave the police station and join them on cases! I wish to know more about her. that time she profiled someone and it was just fraser in drag (and ray recognised fraser in drag) - frannie! unconvinced by the way they wrote her in "pizzas and promises," thought she was fun in the first section, but i think the writing let down her character during the part where ray nearly drowns (OH YEAH THAT WAS GAY TOO MY GOODNESS) because like, why wouldn't she be more worried? think there were more dynamic, less "she's just shallow/ditzy" ways of writing that - the "jai ne said quoi" ongoing bit was very cute. also very gay. just. all of it is

[thecreelhouse]

Hihi hello. I've been very absent these past few months and haven't stayed on top of what my favorite mutuals are doing. Are there any fics you're working on now that you are particularly excited about? Or story/au ideas you've been daydreaming of? I'd love to know, even if it's not something you think would ever get written. Just wondering about what has been on your mind lately xox

Hi Betty!!! ☺️ it’s all good, life happens!!

I have waaaaay too many WIPs currently 😭 (hope you don’t mind me using bullets for my rambles lol)

I picked back up on writing for steve x transmasc!reader after a few weeks of not really working on it (maybe a month? I can’t remember tbh lol), so it feels really good to get back into that one!! It’s actually been my go-to comfort daydream before i go to sleep lol.

I have a commission for a pal that I don’t wanna spoil too much in case they read this (but they know the general gist at least), but it’s nurse!steve x chronically ill!reader as apartment neighbors during the beginning of the pandemic, where the patios of their apartments face each other, with just enough space to safely hang out, become friends, eventually fall for one another. I wish i could find the photo i got the idea from, but it’s someone handing flowers over to another person between their balconies, and it just made me think of the 6 feet distance guideline and whatnot. So far, aside from the inevitable hurt/comfort and angst, it’s been a fun challenge to write steve and reader growing a friendship among the barriers of safety, and discovering feelings despite never actually spending time with one another— aside from being safely outside, or over the phone. It’ll have a happy ending too 🥹

Another vampire!steve fic, different from the other vampire au i already have. I haven’t touched that one in a month or so, kinda hit wall with it 🫠 i really wanted it to just be filth for Halloween, and next thing i know, i have like…. 15k with feelings. Figures lmao.

Still working on AP blurbs/mini fics when I have the inspiration!! I had a christmas one but never got to finish that in time for the holidays lol. I’ll get to it eventually.

Speaking of christmas fics, i started one as a follow up to the lil fic i wrote last month for the 12 days of promptmas, with steve x chronically!ill reader, but that never got finished in time either. 😅

Been working on TLU when I can, and I wish it wasn’t taking so long, bc I have two chapters left with most of them written, but I can’t find the motivation lately to string everything together and edit it. 😭

There’s more than that but they’re either pure filth or WIPs i have been stuck on for ages. Sorry this got so long 😅 but tysm for asking this 🥹

i hope life has been kind to you lately <3

[jazajas]

been thinking about buck and eddie's parents and I've come to a conclusion

while buck's parents were intentionally cruel (ill get into why in a but) eddie's are unintentionally cruel

so for buck, they intentionally ignored him due to their grief of losing Daniel. probably more so for Margaret than Philip, but he definitely would take his wife's side more than his kids. it was intentional to pretend like Daniel never existed.

on the other hand, eddie's parents were and are (let's be honest, it's still going on with Chris is Texas) unintentionally cruel to Eddie

Ramon telling Eddie he needed to be the man of the house because he himself wasn't around much but also berating Eddie for his choices in doing so simply because he was a kid who didn't know what other choices he had is Ramon behaving in the way he thinks he has to and getting Eddie to see his point of view. very common in latino households that have a strong belief in machismo. Helena probably had ppd with Adriana and Sophia Anna tbh was basically a single parent for her kids entire young lives definitely means she's going to parentify her oldest, which is also relatively common

the diaz parents had a lot of expectations for their son and when he fails to meet those they try to meet him half way. their problem is that what they think is the best option in doing so actually harms Eddie mentally or emotionally. their issue is that they think that what they think is the correct answer is the only correct answer and don't take into consideration how other people feel

the only intentionally cruel thing the Diaz parents are doing is isolating Chris from la and keeping Eddie out of his son's life even if the reason he's in Texas in the first place was unintentionall

so where this difference really comes into play for their lives is whether or not buck and Eddie can forgive their parents

because bucks parents can recognize where they went wrong which means they can put in the effort to try harder to fix things and make it easy for buck to forgive them

eddie's parents, as far as i can tell, don't realize the hurt they've caused their son and likely won't even agree if Eddie points out how he feels about everything. we got somewhere with Ramon at his retirement party when he and Eddie started to fix their relationship, but whatever progress they made is null with how Ramon is being at least complicent in keeping Chris from Eddie

you don't mend your harm from being an absent father by letting your own son also be an absent father when he didn't want to be in the first place

which means that when (not if, because i refuse to believe that Chris and Eddie will be in Texas forever) Eddie gets Chris back to la, it will be so hard for Eddie to forgive his parents for what they've done because as far as they're concerned they only did what was best

and honestly? i hope he never does but I'm not a writer in the show

[ofgentleresolve]

ferre's thoughts!

hi everyone! so sorry to have been absent ( or at least very sporadic ) here and across all my other blogs- i promise i never stopped thinking about my muses and all of the wonderful dynamics i have with everyone!! recently though, i guess i've been feeling a bit...meh about this blog?? so i'm just going to ramble for a hot second in these bullet points to air out my thoughts and hopefully i can get to some kind of conclusion here....feel free to throw your own opinions in here if you want to!!

this is my fault, but uh, i think i accidentally isolated myself on this blog?? like, these days most of my activity rp-related has been in discord, but i would like...to reach to ppl again if they are still interested....that being said, i know i say i love plotting with other muns, but i also know that truthfully, it takes me a while to open up and it probably doesn't help that i can take like weeks to get back to ppl ic wise....i dont want to get into the details but i'll just say that this summer was kinda...not great ( don't worry nothing bad happened, i'm just going thru a rough patch....) so that's been killing my writing mojo for a while ://

this also relates to the first point, but i realize plotting really does make a difference to me about whether or not i'm excited for a thread so i'll probably make a note about that when i rewrite & condense my rules....

ever since i moved patrick to his own blog, i've noticed that annie ( and since i gave him a connection to her ) and ga ram seem to be the most active on there...tbh there are some muses on my main muse roster that truthfully, haven't been used in months due to the lack of plots/active dynamics- i don't want to get rid of them bc nostalgia and i do intend to write them on occasion, but....if they aren't garnering as much interest then i might just have to switch around my rosters a bit....

this blog isn't nearly as much of a slice-of-life blog as it used to be....if anything, i feel like it might be better to call it a crime & slice-of-life multimuse considering that the muse who seems to come out the most often now is annie....as such i was wondering if....perhaps changing the aesthetics of this blog might help with getting into the mood for writing on here again?? if anything patrick and calum's blogs seem to embody this blog's current core themes more ^^'

this might also mean changing the username for this blog....although i will say, i am quite attached to this url as it's been my brand for YEARS... but on the other hand perhaps a url with a bit more...grit to it could help ( that and if it is change then better to accept than resist...right?? )

also saw lena on my dash ( WHICH WAS A SIGN OF A GOOD DAY FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺 ) and i lowkey?? wanna follow in their footsteps aka be more lax and free-flowing on here...so i might drop the formatting ( sans the small text ) bc that does, i will admit, take up more time to post responses than anything else :'D

okay if you read all of this, thanks for listening, i promise everything will be fine on my end <3 i really really just miss writing on here and being part of dashboard shennagans so....hope to see?? you all soon in the meanwhile, will try to get to some memes & maybe do the bingo boards for some of my muses here <3

[itsjaywalkers]

How are you Laurie 💖💖 hope you’re feeling and doing great! I just finished reading literally everything you’ve written on ao3, and i just wanted to tell you how brilliant you are!

hi darling!! i'm fine <3 very burned out bc of work and the stupid spring break (i know i've been . kinda absent and a mess at replying asks . i'm so sorry i promise i'll get back to all of u between this week and the next one when i finally start feeling more like a person again) but okay overall!! i really can't complain tbh, and i've had some really good days between all the madness

and omg stop you're actually making me tear up a lil.. i can't believe u actually went through all my stories in ao3 and enjoyed them!! it means the world to me and it makes me so very happy <333 YOU'RE LOVELY and i'm sending u all my appreciation and tons of kisses!! this made my day MWAH

[seashellcosmos]

So, I know I've already asked a question about AU's but one just popped into my mind.

A Byakuya & Kyoko swap AU. Like, Kyoko got adopted by Kijo and Byakuya by Jin.

What would change?

Would Junko still lose? Would Byakuya not refer to Jin as his father, or would that stay with Kyoko? Maybe both... or neither.

Would the events of the two fights that happened with the dads stay the same? Would those fights even have happened?

You obviously don't need to answer all- or any- of these questions, but this just popped into my head! :D

:0 interesting….

I think more or less things would’ve played out the same? The dad fights would be interesting but I’m gonna get to that in a minute.

Part of Byakuya’s like Main Motivation throughout the first half of the fic is gathering information, because Kijo gave him basically none his entire childhood- but Jin was open and honest with Kyoko about everything so that motivation would be gone. BUT I think Byakuya would still have questions, I think he would more curious than ever about Hope’s Peak and everything that was going in the outside world that led to them getting locked away. Tbh I don’t think Byakuya would be Quite as hurt as Kyoko is about his Jin being largely absent from his life, I think knowing the seriousness of the situation and how dangerous everything is might lead him to having something of a sense of responsibility over everyone once they’re all locked together. Of course no matter the universe Byakuya is still just a little bit of an asshole, so this would still lead to some arguments and disagreements from the others.

Kyoko on the other hand, would be a lot more closed off I think. Her enhancement is very much based off of her emotions, and being in a household where she’s forced to suppress it and treat it like it’s some freak thing that shouldn’t exist would not do wonders for her emotional maturity I think. Despite not being raised by a detective I think she’d still have a great sense of observation and deduction, and I think she’d end up learning about Hope’s Peak on her own before the plan to lock them away is really solidified. She’d still refer to Kijo as her father, probably, but the resentment she felt would basically triple once she could prove she’d been lied to her entire childhood. I think Makoto would still help her open up, eventually, his unrelenting optimism is contagious. (Also if SHE were the one with some sort of power of Monokuma she’d be solving mysteries in that dang school left and right)

When Kyoko eventually learned that her dad made a deal with Junko to basically trade her life for everyone else’s she’d be LIVID. This would be the last straw for her and I think she’d cut ties with him completely. If their fight at Hope’s Peak still happened, she’d still save him I’m sure, but there’d be no reconciliation in her mind at that point. At least not for a LONG time.

The fight between Byakuya and Jin would go down way differently, considering he could just shove his dad halfway across the room with his mind. But I think after THAT situation, and actually experiencing Junko’s influence firsthand back at the school, Byakuya would be a lot more cautious around Makoto while he still wasn’t himself. He wouldn’t want anything else like that happening ever again.

Interesting to think about :0

[haleigh-sloth]

"The perfect ending for the todofam is sitting together and having dinner without Endeavor. They would be all happy without him." sigh... I'm no fan of Endeavor but hardcore Dabi stans need to understand that the story not only wants Enji to atone for the shit he put his family through but also be present at the dinner table and like... be an actual part of the fam via participation instead of being absent. What good will it do for the Todofam arc if Endeavor is not even there for his family and is just... going around doing hero work? That would be just like earlier times lmao. Enji needs to step up as a dad yes but that can't happen if he's out of the picture. Moreover wasn't Fuyumi's dream to have a family dinner with all of them sitting together around the table including her father?? Are we really going to ignore her wishes?? And Shouto who wants to see Enji finally become the father he was meant to be? And most of all Touya who just wanted to be with his family and that also includes Endeavor bruh

Yeah I mean....I agree with both of these.

Granted, idk what'll happen 100% certain. But there are two things I'm convinced of:

I'm very very confident in Touya going home

Touya doesn't just want any specific family member to be there, he wants all of them, clearly as we saw

So....how that ends with Endeavor being yeeted out of the family picture, idk

I get it, I've been saying I get it for almost 3 years now. My opinions have changed damn near 180 in most things, but my understanding of why people don't want Endeavor in the picture hasn't disappeared.

But we're almost 400 chapters in and at this point it's literally not the manga's fault if people are unhappy. If people want an ending where the abuser, whose arc is about trying to do better--and actually doing better in some capacity--with some bumps along the way, is given absolutely 0 grace from the family he broke and for the family to tell him to fuck off and never come around again, well, I feel like it's been obvious for a very long time that this is not that. It kinda just feels like denial to cope because it went this direction. Again, I get wanting that and don't think that's wrong or a story that shouldn't be told, but this is not that story. Horikoshi isn't obligated to tell that story ��\_(ツ)_/¯ he's just not. He doesn't owe anybody anything, but I feel we're blessed enough that we get a coherent, narratively sound story that actually follows through on almost EVERYTHING put in place, at some point, in some way, even if the pacing isn't the best suited for a weekly release.

My understanding kinda stops though when people just....straight up make shit up and ignore what's on the page. I mean I don't care what the opinion is at that point. If someone is deliberately ignoring images put on pages because they don't like them, well I don't care to discuss tbh. Also thinking about recent anons I've gotten, saying things like "if Endeavor is with his family it ignores everything he does", well, no it doesn't. That's just not true as the story has not ignored anything at all nor has his family, so that's just a blatantly false statement and I also won't take the time to discuss there either. Idk.

I agree with y'all though.

[flowerslut]

5, 6 and 19!!!

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

this is so fun to talk about because I never let myself indulge in Fic Thinking Or Brainstorming because that's dangerous for me (for obvious reasons) BUT two fun fic ideas I've had in the past year-ish are these SUPER fun ones:

what if james and co DIDN'T overhear the cullen's baseball game and didn't stop by the cullen's residence until the next day like alice ORIGINALLY thought? (and with edward absent and playing the Must Be Constantly Around Bella game I think the whole 'james knows who alice is' reveal could be SO FUN—really you could go any way with this: angsty, silly, both!) I thought I would write this eventually but there ain't no way in hell it'll happen at the rate things are going lmfao

and what if alice was like "I have to WAIT to meet my true love? hell no" and after a few years she goes down south and makes her own army in a "well if you can't kiss 'em, join 'em" type of way. I just want to see a dumber version of alice who is like "I'll get this man's attention one way or another. i'll sort everything else out eventually" and she makes SO many bad choices but whoops she's good at this army business and now she's super powerful lol whoops! well, she'll get her back blown out one way or another! and if she has to commit a few thousand murders beforehand then like, whatever, yknow?

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

yes!!! right now I've been on a BIG tlt fic binge and these are a couple I go back to all the time: GHAZAL WHERE I'M BEGGING YOU TO TOUCH ME, Inversion (<- this right here is the best tlt fic I've ever read), The Heart is Hard to Translate, and beat your swords into ploughshares (and your spears into pruning hooks). most of these are explicit griddlehark fics if I'm not mistaken lmfao

and as far as jalice fics are concerned I regularly return to @goldeneyedgirl's ongoing jalice fics Jar of Hearts and Shadow to Light because lexie's versions of jasper and alice mean so goddamn much to me. but I don't read much jalice tbh because I am... so picky with their characterization, etc.

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

this is long enough, so here's a bonus roots snippet under the cut!

When the screeching of limbs and heads being removed punctuated the hissing and crying that had filled the field, the vampire who stood, watching, rolling the stone around in their pocket, finally let out a sigh.

“Very well,” they spoke, watching as their army gathered the bodies to drag across the barren land and toward the pile that had already been assembled just out of sight, up and then down another hill. As they worked in agreeable silence, the watcher closed their eyes again, sighing once more.

The stone in their pocket was sharp on one side. With a small amount of pressure, the tip of their finger opened. A clenched fist brought venom toward their palm and with a quick squeeze their hand was wet with it.

Memories attached to the pain trickled in through their thoughts. For a moment they smiled and pictured once more the two bodies that were being carried away. Their faces were not hard to morph with the imagination, their features not quite similar but close enough that there was no effort to this daydream.

They imagined blonde hair torn and burnt, skull exposed and venom slick across the head. An opened neck, perhaps proving that scarred skin all looked the same when peeled back, ripped from the cemented system that held their kind together. His teeth would be kept and put to use. His last mark on the world he’d abandoned would never come. He would become nothing more than a discarded instrument, broken down for parts—maybe put back together once, or twice, just so they could hear him scream and beg and cry—that would be used to carve into every other victim these lands claimed.

The same teeth that had once marked them, would mark others, too.

Imagining the woman was easier, and brought a fiercer fire to their chest, the satisfaction of what would be done to her eliciting a full smile from their quiet, closed off face. Yes, the dark-haired witch would get what was coming to her. They imagined what she might look like, as torn and mangled as her companion had always been. Limbs fused together. Eyes gouged over and over until regeneration ceased (they had never figured out how many times their bodies could do such a thing).

Experiments were only kind when it was deserved. Some people did not deserve mercy.

fanfic writer asks!

[jakattax]

that artwork is pretty rad, you post a lot of artwork, is that just something you like now, like dnd in general? dont see as much of occult posts going on anymore.

Artwork is very rad, glad you like it, all credit to the amazing Makenzie :) hot boi Haru is hot.

I am a self-confessed artwork addict, tbf I never thought in a million years like 4 years ago I would pay incredibly talented people to draw my OC's....and now my wall is literally covered with great pieces of art from great artists. Support art and artists :) I dont have any artistic talent AT ALL (other than acting) and it would certainly save me a lot of money if I could draw....but I can't lmao

I love all my pieces and I love each of their individual styles and interpretations by the artist.

D&D in general? Yeh ill be playing TTRPG's when Im in the nursing home.

No...tbf Ive been thinking about changing my blog BIG TIME or even graciously bowing it. That side of my life is private and should have always been private tbh. Ive been studying for well over a decade now and practising just as long...I've been absent in recent years true but I definitely just threw everything I had on this blog,,,when I shouldnt have.

So less occult stuff.

More of the other stuff Im very passionate over...which is artwork of my hot half-orc fighter, my hot moody French wizard, my hot matriarchal drow sorcerer and my hot charlatan bard.

And thats fine that Ive changed, I know I dont talk about that side of my life anymore. Plenty of stuff in my tags and archive if you wanna see that.

[hukkelberg]

sorry that this is long. also i am the person that sent many long asks about pen in asoiaf - you don't have two anons incapable of saying things concisely, just the one. if that was a concern. anyway how do you picture pen's relationship w her dad? i thought it was kind of funny that after simon (daddy issues) and anthony (daddy issues 2 electric boogaloo) there was v little discussion about either of polin's dads outside of more info about violet/edmund and portia/archibald. between violet-francesca and pen-portia this was truly a season for mommy issues. i get not wanting to focus on edmund's death again but i've always found it odd that we basically don't know anything about pen's relationship w her dad despite his gambling and death still directly affecting her life. not to mention he died during the course of the show and they showed her crying about it. i don't even think colin has ever said anything about pen's dad dying lol. also what do you think about pen and portia's relationship post s3? i thought they did a decent job w it but there's this space where the fatphobia aspect is studiously not mentioned. like if they threw me a bone about portia and archibald's relationship really breaking down after she gave birth to a third daughter or something i would accept portia overlooking pen for nebulous reasons but they just kinda skated around that and did not explain why portia treats pen differently than her sisters. i mentioned this in my ask complaining about s3 but the decision to just handwave away fatphobia once pen is the lead is really something. i don't have a strong opinion on it but the fact that the setup for fatphobia impacting pen is still there except now it's just bc london society Hates Penelope Specifically is certainly something. they really just,,, threw some plus size extras in and called it a day. idk it's just distracting bc there are readily available ways to explain it (dad was a broke gambler, dad was possibly murdered, prudence engaged to cousin jack bc she was supposedly compromised, everything to do w cousin jack) but they just don't😭

don't worry about it! i like lengthy asks, though i'm not sure i manage to respond to every point you raise. if there was anything you asked and i missed you can bring it back up, it's okay. i also write a lot as you can tell by the read more i had to tack on here so i didn't clog anyone's dash lol (i did figure it was the same person hehe)

about daddy issues in general -- edmund to me is a bit of a gimmick tbh. i think the dead dad unless you really bring it into the fold of the character's psyche like in anthony's case (and simon too, just differently) can come off really stiffly? i guess if we saw a little more how his absence affects the family (or not! also interesting) in more personal ways to each character it'd be a little more impactful. i was really interested in seeing how colin reacted to that also, but that was... simply not expanded upon. none of colin's relationships were (sigh). it would help to ground the event and make it less of a gimmick if each member of the family felt like. their own specific feelings about edmund. they did that a little with gregory last season, and i'm hoping they do something with ben as well, but maybe that's because i'm very fond of avocadomoon's take on ben's place in the family after his death. i think daphne as well would've had a really good viewpoint for that event, considering violet's condition afterwards.

about pen's dad -- i think archibald was your run of the mill neglectful father. he doesn't strike me as the sort of man to have any interest in his children, much less daughters. if he'd had a son, i think he might've tried to bring him into the fold of his own interests, but if the son had any kind of brain and pushed back, he'd just been quickly put off and retracted back to his absent ways lol (btw if pen had a loving big brother Everything would be different. but i guess that's the point the show makes as well). i personally don't really buy into a tragic backstory where he was overtly abusive -- there's no real marks of it, and she did cry when he died, which she wouldn't have if there was any real hatred (pen's petty like that). colin only refers to him by his societal position (how his death left them defenseless) which makes me assume he never really amounted as anything more than that nebulous figure of patriarchal authority in the featherington house. not a real person to him. not a real loss.

for what it is, to me there were probably moments of sweetness in their relationship once penelope learned how to angle for some of his affection -- like in THIWFY, which i suppose is how you found me, where i mention her father is how she knows how to bet on a horse in chapter two. what i picture is penelope figuring out that archibald will talk to her if she asks about something he likes, so she asks him how to bet on a horse and he speaks to her on the matter for hours, far longer than they've ever conversed before, because she's listening so intently (because her father never speaks to her! but he is now!) and he never has anyone actually listen to him at home (because all he likes to speak about is gambling and his wife clearly disrespects him). then portia finds out and obviously cuts it short because one sure way to have your worse daughter become even more unmarriageable is to make her a spendthrift and penelope's hopes for understanding are dashed (she would've found out eventually, when she tried for another topic and he didn't respond) and archibald walks away feeling thinking "huh well that one is not so bad" and that the extent of their relationship.

have a little snippet from a future chapter of THIWFY that sort of addresses this (VERY rough. i am aware it is not entirely legible lol):

 "Lord Bridgerton," she whispered. Anthony's father. Colin's.    Penelope had never entertained fantasies of gaining a father when she married. Lord Bridgerton had died when she was barely young enough to recall a blurry face and a kind demeanour, and she had been in love with Colin long enough that she had incorporated his loss into the composition of her most perfect future. She'd liked her father well enough, only in that way you could love a man whom you were certain had never had your best interests at the forefront of his mind a day in his life. Not, she believed, out of any sense of disdain for her, but by the mark of deep and troubling incompetence only cured by the rush of luck coming his way. A detached, but present sort of fondness, resting entirely on the basis of proximity and the occasional good natured allowance, and swallowed almost entirely by pity. He was a simple man, her father. Colin, too, was simple in his own way, but only in that she was simply so attuned to his every thought and feeling it was only her own overbearing heart which blinded her to the meaning behind his actions so that when he stepped in front of her, transparent as ever, and forcefully faced her with the truth, she had only herself to blame for shrouding her eyes to it before. Anthony, in contrast, was nearly unknowable to her. The little intel she had gathered in the months leading to their disastrous marriage had been rendered useless the moment they'd dragged their feet to the altar. The fragile trust they'd nursed—that promise set at the dinner table—had not survived.

pen and portia: i think that's a done deal. i really can't figure out how they're going to use the featheringtons after this? they disabled penelope's position as whistledown, they gave portia everything she's ever wanted (daughters wed well) and they solved the featherington baronetcy matter. i don't expect any meaningful exploration of their relationship now that they've entered a place where they both understand and see a bit of themselves in one another. this really was the season to explore portia and archibald's relationship to me, though, particularly when penelope was about to make an okay marriage herself. i think that would've given the argument for true love (in colin) a lot more weight, if they'd shown how both portia and archibald had settled for each other and how badly it'd gone for them, a la mr. and mrs. bennet. i suppose that would've meant making debling a real option and that was not in the cards.

penelope + fatphobia + the ton -- oooh you just stumbled upon the thing that sets me off every single time. it's SO stupid. it's SO SO stupid. not only stupid: cowardly. vapid. insincere! god. shallow fucking feminism i HATE it. look, there's a difference between saying this woman's body is not something we ought to comment on because she's as good as any of our other leads so we're just. not gonna have it be a problem. because it isn't. (which is fine) and the absolute nonsensical cover up of building two seasons upon this character being invisible and constantly demeaned about her appearance (textually!) and then just acting as though, all this time it wasn't the dresses, it was the attitude! the new attitude she has which we totally didn't switch out last minute! it's so invalidating to the struggles of real fat women to be like guess what girly it was your shitty personality all this time! all those things they said? not real haha when you know people object to you purely on the basis of your weight. it's so stupid. i get that nicola is a goddess upon earth nobody wants to get to worship that more than me BELIEVE ME but making it an issue of confidence is so. disrespectful. and out of character. and you're right because even if we just... brushed off the fatphobia there are thousands of ways to make her a pariah that are significantly more socially weighty than like. is suddenly a fool when people speak to her.

but you know what puzzles me? the show's unwillingness to like, critique the ton. like, at all. the simpering pen had to do at the end of season three like SHE was in the wrong?????? i've always held a very cutthroat perspective on whistledown, but that just pushed me over the edge. what an utterly undignified thing to force the character to do. it just made me feel ashamed for her. why should she lower herself to the demands of these vapid people and their sore egos? to me it's part of making sure these sort of characters (like pen, like ben, like eloise) who would probably find more happiness in other environments stay trapped in this horrible patriarchal, classist, racist sliver of society. even the working class people are either relegated (genevieve) or pushed into becoming aristocrats and leaving everything behind, in an utterly black-and-white way (the mondrichs). i fear for sophie beckett, i do.

[large-rat-enters-from-stage-left]

i have not gotten any pictures of my art but it’s daylight savings day and also pi day so happy 3/14, my family is making a pie because obviously and im here to give you a late-ish cousin Oskaar from iceland: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5q77MQzU2Q i also shaved all my hair off so now i look like an egg but thats not the point