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creamtese · 10 months ago

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Demons and Stigmas

I made a reddit post about this, and thought I should post it on tumblr too for easier reading!

I wanted to make a post about all the stigmas and demons that we know so far. The names are all anagrams of Ars Goetia demons, and some of them have similar powers to the demon or have potential motives to summon said demon. With that, we can possibly predict what some of the stigmas do that we only have a name for, as well as what might have been their motivation for summoning their demon.

I've taken some information from the Ars Goetia wikipedia page, and bolded some things that I thought are noteworthy.

Frostheim

Kamurai Jin, Bianerus.

Bianerus is an anagram of Naberius

Jin can command people to do as he says with his stigma

The demon Naberius (also Naberus, Nebiros and Cerberus, Cerbere) was first mentioned by Johann Weyer in 1583. He is supposedly the most valiant Marquis of Hell, and has nineteen legions of demons under his command. He makes men cunning in all arts, but especially in rhetoric, speaking with a hoarse voice. He also restores lost dignities and honors, although to Johann Weyer he procures the loss of them. Naberius appears as a three-headed dog or a raven. He has a raucous voice but presents himself as eloquent and amiable. He teaches the art of gracious living. He is depicted as a crow or a black crane. Concerning his name, it is unclear if there is an association with the Greek Cerberus. It is said that in 1583, Johann Weyer considers both of them to be the same demon.

Ishibashi Tohma, Argeas.

Argeas is an anagram of Agares

Tohma's stigma lets him send vibrations long distance.

Agares (or Agreas), ruling the eastern zone of Hell, and being served by 31 legions of demons. He can make runaways come back and those who stand still run, finding pleasure in teaching immoral expressions. He also has the power to destroy dignities, both temporal and supernatural. He is depicted as a pale old man riding a crocodile.

Lucas Errant, Iggnaim.

Iggnaim is an anagram of Gamigin

Lucas has a barrier

Gamigin (also Gamygin, Gamigm or Samigina) is a Great Marquis of Hell who rules over thirty legions of demons. He teaches all liberal sciences and gives an account of the souls of those who died in sin and who drowned in the sea, speaking with a rough voice. He also answers what is asked about, and stays with the conjurer until they are satisfied. Gamigin is depicted as a little horse or a donkey, which changes form into a man under the conjurer's request.

Fuji Kaito, ???

No stigma name currently, but we have an idea of what his powers may be from something Hyde has said.

Vagastrom

Mido Alan, Yagsal Olbalsa

Yagsal Olbalsa is an anagram of Glasya-Labolas

It's never been explicitly said, but it seems to be some sort of super strength

Glasya-Labolas (also Caacrinolaas, Caassimolar, Classyalabolas, Glassia-labolis, Glasya Labolas, Gaylos-Lobos) is a mighty President of Hell who commands thirty-six legions of demons. He is the author and captain of manslaughter and bloodshed, tells all things past and to come, gains the minds and love of friends and foes causing love among them if desired, incites homicides and can make a man invisible. He is depicted as a dog with the wings of a griffin.

Kurosagi Leo, Haxs

Haxs is an anagram of Shax

Leo's stigma allows him to have enhanced hearing

Shax (also spelled Chax, Shan, Shass, Shaz, and Scox) is a Great Marquis of Hell, and has power over 30 legions of demons on evil horses. He takes away the sight, hearing and understanding of any person under the conjurer's request, and steals money out of kings' houses, carrying it back to the people. He also steals horses and everything the conjurer asks. Shax can also discover hidden things if they are not kept by evil spirits, and sometimes gives good familiars, but sometimes those familiars deceive the conjurer. He should not be bothered too often. Shax is thought to be faithful and obedient, but is a great liar and will deceive the conjurer unless obliged to enter a magic triangle drawn on the floor. He will then speak marvellously and tell the truth. He knows when lies are told and uses these to teach lessons. He is depicted as a stork that speaks with a hoarse but subtle voice; his voice changes into a beautiful one once he enters the magic triangle.

Haizono Shohei, Spurno

Spurno is an anagram of Purson

We don't have an explicit answer for what it does yet, but he was able to trip? throw back? the anomaly in episode 2

Purson (also Curson, Pursan) is a Great King of Hell, being served and obeyed by twenty-two legions of demons. He knows of hidden things, can find treasures, and tells past, present and future. Taking a human or aerial body he answers truly of all secret and divine things of Earth and the creation of the world. He also brings good familiars. Purson is depicted as a man with the face of a lion, carrying a ferocious viper in his hand, and riding a bear. Before him, there can be heard many trumpets sounding.

Jabberwock

Sagara Haru, Bahnti

Bahnti = Bathin

Haru's stigma reduces the affect of gravity on his body

Bathin (or Bathym, Mathim, Marthim) is a Duke (Great Duke according to Pseudomonarchia Daemonum) of Hell, who has under his command thirty legions of demons. He knows the virtues of precious stones and herbs, and can bring men suddenly from one country to another. He helps one attain astral projection, and takes you wherever you want to go. He is depicted as a strong man with the tail of a serpent, riding a pale horse.

Otonashi Towa, ???

Another one we aren't really sure of

Shiranami Ren, Raothtas

Raothtas = Astaroth

We don't have an explicit answer as to what his stigma does, but he was able to remove ink stains from the floor

Astaroth (also Ashtaroth, Astarot and Asteroth) is referred to in The Lesser Key of Solomon as a very powerful demon who commands 40 legions of demons. In art, in the Dictionnaire Infernal, Astaroth is depicted as a nude man with feathered wings, wearing a crown, holding a serpent in one hand, and riding a beast with dragon-like wings and a serpent-like tail. According to Sebastien Michaelis he is a demon of the First Hierarchy, who seduces by means of laziness, vanity, and rationalized philosophies. His adversary is St. Bartholomew, who can protect against him for he has resisted Astaroth's temptations. To others, he teaches mathematical sciences and handicrafts, can make men invisible and lead them to hidden treasures, and answers every question formulated to him. He was also said to give to mortal beings the power over serpents. His name is possibly taken from the goddess Asherah or Astarte.

Sinostra

Hoshibami Taiga, Malab

Malab = Balam

All we know is that he has good luck

Balam (also Balaam, Balan) is a great and powerful king of Hell who commands over forty legions of demons. He gives perfect answers on things past, present, and to come, and can also make men invisible and witty. Balam is depicted as being three-headed. One head is the head of a bull, the second of a man, and the third of a ram. He has flaming eyes and the tail of a serpent. He carries a hawk on his fist and rides a strong bear. At other times, he is represented as a naked man riding a bear.

Romeo Lucci, Tiris

Tiris = Sitri

He can turn things into bombs

Sitri (also spelled Bitru, Sytry) is a Great Prince of Hell, and reigns over sixty legions of demons. He causes men to love women and vice versa, and can make people bare themselves naked if desired. He is depicted with the face of a leopard and the wings of a griffin, but under the conjurer's request he changes into a very beautiful man.

Shinjo Ritsu, Acimo

Acimo = Camio

Ritsu's stigma lets him harden his body, to the point bullets cannot damage him

Camio (also Caim, Caym) appears in Ars Goetia, the first part of The Lesser Key of Solomon as a Great President of Hell, ruling over thirty legions of demons. Much detail is offered: he is a good disputer, gives men the understanding of the voices of birds, bullocks, dogs, and other creatures, and of the noise of the waters too, and gives true answers concerning things to come. He is depicted in 19th and 20th century occultist illustrations as appearing in the form of the black bird called a thrush, but soon he changes his shape into a man that has a sharp sword in his hand. When answering questions he seems to stand on burning ashes or coals.

Hotarubi

Kagami Subaru, Talnandio

Talnandio = Dantalion

Psychometry

Dantalion (or Dantalian) is a powerful Great Duke of Hell, with thirty-six legions of demons under his command; he is the 71st of 72 spirits of Solomon. He teaches all arts and sciences, and also declares the secret counsel of anyone, given that he knows the thoughts of all people and can change them at his will. He can also cause love and show the similitude of any person, show the same by means of a vision, and let them be in any part of the world they will. He is depicted as a man with many appearances, which means the faces of all men and women.

Kusanagi Haku, ???

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kotodama Zenji, ???

ahhhh eto...bwehhhhh

Obscuary

Edward Hart, ???

thanks old man!

Mizuki Rui, ???

I don't recall him saying his stigma, but he's able to relieve pain and exhaustion temporarily.

Lyca Colt, Ramsochisa

Ramsochisa = Marchosias

He can follow the scent of anything, so long as he's smelled it before

Marchosias (also Marchocias) is a powerful Great Marquis of Hell, commanding thirty legions of demons. He is a strong and excellent fighter and very reliable to the conjurer, giving true answers to all questions. Marchosias hoped after 1,200 years to return to heaven with the non-fallen angels, but he is deceived in that hope. He is depicted as a wolf with a man's form as well as a griffin's wings and a serpent's tail, that under request changes shape into a man.

Mortkranken

Isami Yuri, Agnihaet

Agnihaet = Haagenti

10000 iq moment

Haagenti (also Haage, Hage) is a Great President of Hell, ruling thirty-three legions of demons. He makes men wise by instructing them in every subject, transmutes all metals into gold, and changes wine into water and water into wine. Haagenti is depicted as a big bull with the wings of a griffin, changing into a man under request of the conjurer.

Kirisaki Jiro, ???

wahoo

Let me know if I missed anything or got anything wrong! Hope this helps with your theorycrafting and oc making 💖

#tokyo debunker #frostheim #vagastrom #jabberwock #hotarubi #obscuary #mortkranken #tokyo debunker spoilers

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trainsinanime · 18 days ago

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The darkly ironic thing is that if you are worried about the recent news that someone scraped Ao3 for AI research, then you're probably vastly underestimating the scale of the problem. It's way worse than you think.

For the record, a couple of days ago, someone posted a "dataset for AI research" on reddit, which was simply all publicly accessible works on Ao3, downloaded and zipped. This is good, in a way, because that ZIP file is blatantly illegal, and the OTW managed to get it taken down (though it's since been reuploaded elsewhere).

However, the big AI companies, like OpenAI, xAI, Meta and so on, as well as many you've never heard of, all probably had no interest in this ZIP file to begin with. That was only ever of interest to small-scale researchers. These companies probably already have all that data, received by scraping it themselves.

A lot of internet traffic at the moment is just AI companies sucking up whatever they can get. Wikipedia reports that about a third of all visitors are probably AI bots (and they use enormous amounts of bandwidth). A number of sites hosting software source code estimate that more than 90% of all traffic to their sites may be AI bots. It's all a bit fuzzy since most AI crawlers don't identify themselves as such, and pretend to be normal users.

The OTW hasn't released any similar data as far as I am aware, but my guess would be that Ao3 is being continuously crawled by all sorts of AI companies at every moment of the day. If you have a fanfic on Ao3, and it isn't locked to logged-in users only, then it's already going to be part of several AI training data sets. Only unlike this reddit guy, we'll never know for sure, because these AI training data sets won't be released to the public. Only the resulting AI models, or the chat bots that use these models, and whether that's illegal is… I dunno. Nobody knows. The US Supreme Court will probably answer that in 5-10 years time. Fun.

The solution I've seen from a lot of people is to lock their fics. That will, at best, only work for new fics and updates, it's not going to remove anything that e.g. OpenAI already knows.

And, of course, it assumes that these bots can't be logged in. Are they? I have no way of knowing. But if I didn't have a soul and ran an AI company, I might consider ordering a few interns to make a couple dozen to hundreds of Ao3 accounts. It costs nothing but time due to the queue system, and gets me another couple of million words probably.

In other words: I cannot guarantee that locked works are safe. Maybe, maybe not.

Also, I don't think there's a sure way to know whether any given work is included in the dataset or not. I suppose if ChatGPT can give you an accurate summary when you ask, then it's very likely to be in, but that's by no means a guarantee either way.

What to do? Honestly, I don't know. We can hope for AI companies to go bankrupt and fail, and I'm sure a lot of them will over the next five years, but probably not all of them. The answer will likely have to be political and on an international stage, which is not an easy terrain to find solutions for, well, anything.

Ultimately it's a personal decision. For myself, I think the joy I get from writing and having others read what I've written outweighs the risks, so my stories remain unlocked (and my blog posts as well, this very text will make its way into various data sets before too long, count on it). I can totally understand if others make other choices, though. It's all a mess.

Sorry to start, middle and end this on a downer, but I think it's important to be realistic here. We can't demand useful solutions for this from our politicians if we don't understand the problems.

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emperor-kumquat · 2 months ago

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"Public domain Sunder" outside of Tumblr (How my project art runs away)

This is NOT a general Sunder! As cool as he looks, he belongs to me and Mynametia/ Inishira (Instagram)!

I want to talk about how reposted art causes harm. It has been stressful to see and I hope fellow artists can sympathize or empathize. And please, if you base art off this Sunder, credit the project Transformers: Mercy!

Firstly, I've heard both "you're niche and unknown" or "you have a big following so watch your mouth"

It feels mean either way... :( Like the jab takes whatever stance is most convenient.

Bottom line: I don't consider myself special. I am just a very hard worker. The only reason I have gotten as far as I have was my hours of daily work for years on my project and YouTube channel.

I am awed when I reflect on how far I have come. Growing my social media platforms, working with 100 different artists from all over the world, commissioning comic artists like Alex Milne and Livio Ramondelli for posters, getting interviewed, collabing, or having shoutouts on other YouTube channels, sitting on panels at TFcon in front of hundreds (although it was t e r r i f y i n g) and getting to talk to them about Transformers: Mercy! And this year, I will be selling Mercy merch at a table at TFcon in the art gallery!

So I don't think I am niche anymore... I don't think my project Transformers: Mercy is. Over the years it has become very widespread with art posted on blogs across social media platforms. As I will discuss, maybe too widespread in one wrong way.

But... there is a long way to go to completing the project. I have about 1000 images now. That's insane! This is no tiny lil project. And I am gunning for 1000s more to make this TFP fan-made sequel. But, I have to pay so so much out of pocket despite making less than minimum wage most months. I need a lot of support to make this big dream possible. Thank you to all who have already helped me thus far.

I think I am just writing this post to clear the air. I am honoured deeply by fanart or fanfictions or fan animations people have created for Transformers: Mercy. It is very motivating and heartwarming and helps me keep up the pace of working hours every day on this project.

I don't mind inspiration being taken from my work. It is an honour. My project draws inspiration from James Roberts' MTMTE and would be nothing without his appealing takes on characters. We may critique MTMTE but where would we be without his Whirl, Rodimus, Drift, Ratchet, Pharma, Cyclonus, Tailgate, Chromedome, Rewind, Swerve, Overlord, DJD, etc.? I carried on from him, others may carry on from me.

A while back, I never meant offence when pointing out one animation of Sunder had features that looked eerily similar (to me) to the Sunder of my game. The reason I got a jolt of horror stems from the fact that this project has fallen victim to reposts on places like Instagram, Pinterest, Reddit, the fan wiki, and other TF forums with zero credit to me or the artists. The growing popularity of Mercy art has also caused it to appear in general searches for IDW or TFP characters. This is why if you search "Transformers Sunder concept art" you are likely to see Mercy Sunder right there but uncredited. So you would see our art but not know what it was for. And Mynametia/Inishira (the artist) did such a good job that it even looks like IDW concept art. It can be mistaken for official content.

But it's not. It was created for my project with very specific features to match my story. A project which costs so much of my time and money and it needs all the donations it can get. It is loses support when its art becomes popular with no tie back to this project. It is still a project in development and is therefore vulnerable.

Transformers: Mercy, after all the years, has become a famous project. But it is a struggling project due to the high financial cost. It is made with ok not blood, but real sweat and tears as I have pushed so hard to make it this far. It has been emotional. It even brought me the love of my life, my spouse.

I want to continue to work on it, the largest Transformers fan project that I believe has ever been attempted. But I need that support, that credit. It hurts when I use google/another search engine and search "Transformers Sunder concept art" and see our work totally visible to the public and not at all attached to Mercy. It then jumpscares me to see other people creating something that looks just like my creations. I see fanart that uses the face of my ghoul Sunder, the one-eyed purple-eyed version with a gaping black pit where the other eye should have been with a small white light within (or the other specific features I requested for Mercy Sunder).

It feels like my ideas are running away from me.

I do not believe anything was done with intent to harm or any malice or spite. I did not believe my project art had been knowingly stolen by any animator or fan artist of Sunder. But when I wrote my post in response to one animation, I did believe that Mercy Sunder had been seen and used as an inspiration because he does appear in general Sunder searches on the Internet. So this is where I came from and why I felt compelled to step in at the time.

I hope I have expressed myself better than last time and I just would like to voice that not this artist/ animator I first reblogged, but other people have reposted Mercy Sunder and caused him to become like.... public domain? Please, I just want it to be known that what you see on search engines, forums, wikis.... was taken from my project. Please do not base your Sunders on that art without crediting Transformers: Mercy and Inishira (Instagram or X).

I hope all the artists here can imagine the feeling of distress I feel seeing credit and support fly away from me and that talented artist, Inishira (who designed Mercy Overlord, Sunder, Crankcase, Fulcrum, Misfire, Krok, Spinister, Waspinator (bug form), and angel Starscream).

I don't want drama or a public back and forth. I seek amicable relationships going forth. Please be very mindful and go back to add in credits if you realize you used this Sunder design as a reference!

#tf mercy #transformers #transformers mercy #transformers sunder #sunder #idw sunder #tf sunder

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trappedinafantasy37 · 28 days ago

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I am sure many of you are aware by now that Minthara's Speak with Dead lines now have her mentioning a daughter. She did have these lines back in EA that were since removed on final release, but have now been reintroduced with Patch 8. @baldursyourgate did bring up a very good point that we could potentially be dealing with another breakup scenario where these lines were readded by "mistake" and may be reverted in a future hotfix. The only thing that has me feeling a bit sus is that unlike the breakup, tweaks to Minthara's Speak with Dead lines were mentioned in the Patch notes this time.

However, these notes are vague. Her dialogue "makes more sense" in Act 2? I don't quite recall precisely what they were before, but I'm pretty sure her lines made sense. But, this does indicate that Larian did deliberately change her SWD dialogue. There are one of two possibilities I can think of, 1) they intentionally reverted back to her EA lines where she mentions a daughter or 2) they recorded new SWD lines entirely but accidentally reverted to the old ones rather than add the new ones (although there is no indication of new recorded lines). If #2 is true, we can expect a future hotfix to wipe this one away. Another more anecdotal thing I want to mention is that Larian tends to respond to mass public opinion. I wasn't on Tumblr when the breakup went down, but I was on Reddit. And that period of time was the most any of the BG3 subreddits talked about Minthara, and most were not pleased with the breakup. It did not take too long for Larian to undo the breakup. Right now, it's almost as if Reddit is unaware of the new SWD lines even though some subreddits do, uh... enjoy the idea of Milfthara. Since there isn't a massive social response to it, I have my doubts Larian will do anything.

As a Minthara enjoyer, it gets very frustrating to have each new patch recharacterize her. It would genuinely piss me off if they take her baby away... AGAIN. We know this will be the last patch, but there will still be hotfixes for a little while. As excited as I was yesterday, I am going to reserve calling this canon until Larian completely moves on from BG3 (even though it is canon in my heart).

However, if this dialogue remains, it creates a continuity error with Minthara's character as she never mentions having a child while she is alive. She only mentions the kid if she is dead. But, it's not like I've recombed through all her dialogue with this new Patch and Death Domain Daedra just barely woke up on the beach so give her a minute. So far, the theory most have is Minthara keeps her daughter a secret to protect her. But, I do not see any reason why she would withhold info on her daughter to a romanced player.

Minthara does actively grieve her home and says she will miss it until the day she dies. She could, of course, be grieving a daughter she will never see again. But I would think that if she had a child, she would not resign so quickly on the idea of never going home. From the moment you recruit her, all her future speak is of her remaining on the surface. She really really wants to kill her mom, but accepts she never will because she accepts never going home again. Even at the end of the game, she still plans to live on the surface. You are the one who has to bring up returning to the Underdark and her sole intent is to kill her mother. That honestly would be the most appropriate moment to mention she has a daughter waiting for her at home.

It also isn't like Minthara to be so witholding either, even if her intent is to keep her daughter safe. But, once she reads your mind, she knows with certainty that you are a safe person to tell. Minthara also very much likes knowing your intent, and she explains her intent to you often. So she wouldn't hide her intent to retrieve her daughter if she goes to the Underdark with you. Yes, she does go to the Underdark on her own if not romanced. But I think she is compelled to go down there for a completely different reason and not for a child.

So, we have a Minthara who supposedly has a child, but never mentions one unless she is dead. Minthara is also very open about her life in the Underdark, but never once talks about how motherhood affected her life. And she never speaks of a kid to a romanced player when returning to the Underdark, the one person in the world who should know that they are about to be a stepparent. This child creates nothing but contradictions. Personally, I do headcanon she had a child anyway regardless of what Larian says. She is 200+ years old, has admitted to having many sexual partners, and would have had the expectation by her house to have a child at some point. I have thought this exact contradiction through many times over. My theory is that Minthara does not mention having a daughter because while the Absolute was erasing her, it also erased her memory of having a daughter. "Well, technically the lines happen if she dies after the Absolute torture." Ssshhhhhhhhh... I'm going to ignore that because this is the only way all of this works in my brain.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #minthara #minthara baenre #evil murder kitten #ive also found sources saying full elf pregnancies have a 2 year gestation period while half-elf have 9 months at the earliest #i also estimate minthara having been in the absolute for only 8-9 months by the time we find her #so this kid would predate her time in the absolute and the other parent is a drow from menzo (meaning it can't be orin)#if the kid was still an infant or a newborn - minthara would not have come topside to pursue the absolute #i think the kid is a toddler at the youngest and a teenager at the oldest #another horrific theory is that nere describes minthara as being reckless with her raids #so... it could be possible minthara brought her daughter to the surface as she went after the absolute - assuming the kid was big enough #if that is the case - her daughter is either missing on the surface. dead. or was... processed in the mind flayer colony #because there are no children within the absolute and orin is not averse to child murder #especially not an orin who wanted to claim minthara all to herself #i can definitely see minthara never mentioning a child if that child died *because* of her own pride and recklessness #but “raising” is present tense so i think the kid is alive

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sugar-petals · 29 days ago

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Ho caro ❤ what do you think is the ultimate kibbe body type for pretty boys/heartthrobs ? I know it can be every type but still ! I've noticed that classics ( v , cillian murphy or even zayn ), soft dramatics( jin and hyunjin ) or soft naturals ( aaron taylor-johnson) are really representative of that archetype, even cha eun woo but I can't pinpoint which type he is . Thanks master as always 😂🌸

kibbe theory VS heartthrobs, romance, and masculinity

or: how pop culture pairs Naturals with Romantics, and Dramatics with Gamines.

hi! thanks for your lovely asks. cha eun woo looks like a soft dramatic to me! tall (6'0), but extra yin. much like bts' jin. chiseled bones, small waist, luscious face, T-silhouette: a narrow geometric structure as the base.

i can't see him as an FN or C as he is vertical-first like a Dramatic, not width-first or average height. the long monochrome D black look with sharp shoulders is right up his alley. in fact, anything else would be too short.

but imo he can do both, severe and dreamy aesthetic, unmoving vs flowing fabric. like christian bale, SD is a type walking between worlds, D and R, which is why they are often considered heartthrobs. but in an elegant, regal way, as they have long limbs and statue bodies.

i noticed that much like C men, SDs are often associated with romance cinema: they have soft faces that don't heavily contrast the usually (!) soft-subtyped or gamine female protagonist. SD can do glamor, sleek, decorum, something that's usually not associated with guys, but they pull it off.

the already fleeting veil between men's and women's fashion becomes thin with this image ID, which is why they fascinate as gnc icons. it's an especially celebrated type in SE Asian television, and historical film.

it bridges the gap and is more female gaze-heavy than casting an intimidating pure D or the obiquitous brawny, flexing, mud-covered FN as the lead. which, and that preceeds marvel, rather belongs to the action/superhero genre. to take an exaggerated example: basically, the N family on crack would be the expendables 😅

jokes aside: casting SD men as the lead still creates a height difference 9 times out of 10, though: they're not R types at a distance. SD is a tall sight. sharp yang is a towering, dignified 6'0+ figure (D always adds older age perception) — so, i would not entirely nominate them as the #1 pretty boys and luring heartthrobs. that would be, in my opinion:

soft gamine & theatrical romantic.

in our polarized world, i observe how they usually only show up when there's a yang counterpart involved. my theory is: you can find a Romantic type in the vicinity of any Natural, and if you want to find a Gamine, search for the Dramatic.

e.g. when the female movie protagonist is very yang like keira knightley or anne hathaway, the male is often more yin/gamin-ish: the gap is bridged, but still, they're two worlds. always contrasting essences in hollywood and beyond, rarely sameness. the bridgerton formula: total contrast. and nicola coughlan (pure R) is the heartthrob one here!

how female gaze male beauty is a balance act

in the long run however, female D types quizzically rule the romance genre. i guess it's because they break the often infantilizing "small, soft, R/G girl" uber-trope and covet the gentle yin and classic men, often far below 6'0, which are much more desirable than the "alpha v beta" status quo used or uses to admit. think 5'9 tom hardy's beautiful yin lips. who wouldn't want to kiss him? few would reject such a devastating smokeshow of a guy. he is gorgeous.

think D.O as an actor, he had people fawning. very yin 5'8 man. either soft gamine or pure romantic. silk and satin hanboks just look best on yin men.

james mcavoy is 5'7, for instance, and far from D and N, too. on eye level/small, hourglass + some extra sharpness. reddit consensus is, he's been typed into TR, SG, SC. in all cases, he is appealingly yin.

hell, keira's D jawline is sharper than his! mcavoy's nose and eyes appear rounder, the lips rosier, the waist more stark, the arms shorter. her shoulders are wider, angular. james: smaller, sloped, not bony. see the famous fountain scene in atonement. striking comparison.

a complete turnaround of what our mainstream-influenced eyes expect. there is nothing yin about her, while he is both. subversion creates movies we can look at twice. it's no immediate clarity, no immediate stereotype that's quickly grasped. i think that's how the heartthrob factor is born: walking the tightrope of yin and yang. neither entirely different nor fully familiar.

anything else, sadly so, would still be widely perceived as comedy/emasculation or deviation from the perceived norm. (remember how people made fun of taylor and bruno simply for existing — still, see how culture finds patterns in D/G or N/R — classics often disguised in the mix).

all the kibbe eye sees is D and SG. D has vertical, SG is petite. so, it seems like the heartthrob walks a fine line, something that SG appears to be excluded from: as they are socially branded by their height. which kibbe takes into account and tries to turn into their style persona (very limiting... but we're talking typecasting here). meanwhile: among all 13 body IDs,

TR is the true heartthrob archetype.

because he is both romantic and dramatic separately. not all mixed up (G) or blended (C). the dramatic current shows up in the face, making it 'feline'. that's how TR differs from gamine: G types have youthful, cuter/softer yin faces. a TR man is more mature. he is often portrayed as: "he tempts the same sex, and women celebrate his championing". TR simply has an insane aura. xiaojun, wayv:

jackson wang, a TR working out heavily. still, the smolder and gender-nonconforming appeal remains.

another distinguishing factor: TR sometimes approaches average height due to a D undercurrent, or at least feels slightly taller (they never exceed 6'0). gamines are even shorter heartthrobs.

besides pure R, he's the only type of man that is almost fully yin unlike the androgynous gamine, and at the same time, carries the most yang undercurrent. i think that's the recipe for being a sex symbol: because you need tension for sex. TR is pure intrigue. his body invites. he's soft and beautiful, but never cross him.

i do think that much like male gamins, they are also stigmatized in almost all countries where strength and slenderness are socially glorified persona- and body-wise in men, still. R and TR men are often seen as stout, chubby and 'ugly', not masculine enough.

jimin dressed very casually/athletically after debut, like basketball player (= FN archetype). ultra tall, broad torso, radiates power and a sturdy physique... N is the opposite of R, twice the height and weight — R being small, rounded, curve-dominant. the jack and rose effect. even surgically, one could never be the other. it is day and night.

namjoon (FN) can't be the short and fatal TR scene stealer, while jimin would have a hard time becoming a huge 6'4 machine that's like a wall. and we wouldn't have it any other way to begin with. kibbe typing means crafting a personalized style with the 3D in front of our eyes, which is why this typology has helped a lot of people and remains timeless.

jimin's transformation visually — and his increase in popularity — is probably what kibbe meant by metamorphosis. coming into your own image by choosing an exterior that fits your body lines and communicates what your archetype represents, regardless of how 'masc' one is or what one does (e.g. jimin is a martial artist). it's more about immediate perception and harmonious dressing. TR just fits the "beautiful, proud, sexy prince" aesthetic the best.

just like namjoon was choosen to be the leader, not just because of his insane intellect but also/maybe because subconsciously, his FN image ID instills authority, respect, and robustness. our military-influenced global society equates height and muscle with hierarchy after all. kibbe picked up on those jungian body politics. doesn't mean being yang urges you to rule — what i convey here is just what is perceived based on cultural values.

but unlike D, the N family seems to be accessible, friendlier, and muscle-heavy masculinity, even in k-pop where gamines are the gold standard. shinee's leader onew, stray kids with chan, too. kang daniel back then as well. shownu, monsta X. all very blunt yang men of all subtypes. in kibbe, D is the most masculine, but in the world, N is.

that's why they are often presented as R's counterpart like beauty and the beast 😅 yin and soft yang are frequently paired, as they are similar in soft edges, but different in height and essence. FN sometimes comes with SG, but R hardly ever with D.

hercules FN, megara TR

khal drogo FN, daenerys R

jay-z FN, beyoncé R.

liz taylor R, burton N.

red white & royal blue similar idea

han solo FN, leia TR-ish?

priyanka SN, nick jonas TR

nas N, nicki minaj TR

baywatch is the FN/R axis

justin N?, selena TR

ares N, aphrodite R, greek mythology in general

lord shiva SN, parvati R

007 franchise: bond girls are often yin, daniel craig is FN not D (he's wide > slimly narrow)

mr incredible FN, elastigirl R

(correct or add any in the comments)

ironically, one usually dresses like the other. the rock FN is a yin dresser! he always has R, TR, and SD outfits on red carpets. he channels his opposite ID much like some Ds dress like a G would, and Gamines want to be Ds.

digressing again. so: some other kpop group leaders are gamines at best (GD, taeyong, s.coups). but its a consistent Natural type trend. the heartthrob is rarely the leader and often relegated to the dancer role (smaller height can facilitate movement, after all). and hell, they do it best. TR ten, best example.

since dance is closest to sex, i guess, and sex is ruled by yin according to the more outdated kibbe book. but i have to agree. nothing sexy about a spartan, dramatic structure. yin adds exciting curve that lets the eye trace. skz' dance line, for instance, are all yin subtypes. hyunjin: yin dramatic (tall height), lee know: yin classic (medium height), felix: yin gamin (small height). all with the super soft romantic undercurrent lips.

so, what a pattern! and TRs truly are the most provocative dancers of all, without even trying. think hwasa. gamines only break the rules, TR breaks AND heeds all the rules simultaneously, creating that whiplash.

imo that's why taemin's (TR) career took off when he adapted to that supposed N body benchmark and started bulking up his arms/shoulders to resemble an SN body more, eradicating all soft yin flesh with harsh exercise (though his face and waistline still gives it away just how R he is, and we know how yin his body gets when he doesn't work out).

it made him more yin AND soft natural yang rather than just mostly yin-leaning with a bit of D undercurrent; aka his narrow legs, sharp nose, prominent cheekbones. (k-)pop's reverence for gamines shows us that people crave more of that inherent contrast. many follow suit and re-shape their body in the gym. but TR is still a romantic first, which is why they are sadly more niche anyway. not to mention how fatphobic the whole gym/ozempic cultural shift has become once more. yin can't help being soft! doesn't make anyone less of a man.

the opposing tall, usually slender, shoulder-heavy FN image is the martial ideal worldwide, while TR is supposed to be the feminine, as per the kylie & kim body-mod influencing campaign. as soon as a guy enters that role: taboo homophobic red alert. but you can't fully change being born your own type. (whole family kardashian family is yang. kendall SD, khloe FN, kourtney FG...)

that all being said, that is how male SD, SC and SN become stand-ins for a more softened FN version as you mentioned, since they're yin subtypes and still perceived as taller, stronger, with less 'allowance/deviation' from the male ideal type. TR women are overly centered culturally and the sole surgical goal, TR men operate far outside the mainstream as the underdog (which creates their mystic sexual pull), much like the following ID, too:

Soft Gamin as the pretty boy archetype.

where TR is the adult version (D undercurrent = looks over 20), SG is the more youthful variant (G + R = looks under 20), regardless of actual age. Gamin is always right on trend, or creating the next one, defiant, youth cultured, anti. ah yes, boy band culture. but elsewhere, SG men are niche or dismissed as quick fads, too, be it e-boys or fashion influencers, punks, rebels, rappers. yungblud is letting the SG flag fly!

SGs rose to more acclaim since you don't have to show your height on tiktok or youtube necessarily, avoiding the "no, girls must be the tiny ones" stigma, which only increases as our world becomes more right-wing and war-oriented recently. look at any propaganda poster of bygone times, the man of a regime is always towering. SG is the opposite: petite, compact, femme, pouty, and sweet as pie, even as they age.

like TRs, i feel SG men kind of become the butt of the joke often, as they are far below 5'10 and also commonly less slender due to yin's width/short bones — but they retaliate by never aging ever, and being able to charm people with their innocence. that whole "neotonous face" craze, it's all gamin characteristics. which is why they are the counterpart of the much more fear-inspiring, extremely tall Dramatics. SDs included!

so, funnily D and G almost always come as a combo. tall sharp and petite sharp. appears in pop culture over and over.

jessica rabbit SD, roger SG

joker D, harley G

sherlock D, watson SG

boa hancock SD, monkey d. luffy G

edward D, bella FG

anakin SD, padme G

slash SD, axl rose G

bill skarsgard/nosferatu SD, lilly rose G

pepper potts D or DC, tony stark FG

lauren bacall D, bogart FG

ava gardner SD, sinatra G

john lennon D, yoko ono and paul SG

austin butler SD, vanessa hudgens SG

zendaya D, tom FG, paul/timothee G

sarah paulson D, holland taylor SG

rihanna SD, rocky FG?

top SD, g-dragon FG

l'wren scott SD, mick jagger FG

will smith SD, jada G type

liam hemsworth SD, miley G

snoop D, kevin hart SG

eve SD, wall-e G

it's a novelty that they progressed from side character/comedic relief to main character. thanks to YA movies and boy bands. i think we have to thank daniel radcliffe there, as well as niall, and bts' popularity which brought yoongi to the scene. he does reflect the spitfire SG trope kibbe mentioned quite literally.

#kibbe types #kibbe #kibbe body types #cha eun woo #pretty boys #heartthrobs #boy bands #romance movies #film

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greetings-inferiors · 24 days ago

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The first time I came out to my mother a big point of contention she had was the it was being online that "turned" me trans. That it was reddit that made me want to be a girl. Or discord that gave me dysphoria. And obviously I disagree. I'd say that my feeling that way is what led to me seeking out such things. You may be surprised to hear that most people on Reddit or discord aren't actually trans.

But I gave in. I deleted Reddit. I left all of the discord servers I was on as a girl. And I actively ignored any trans content for multiple years.

Obviously this didn't work.

So when I realised that oh I'm still trans, I start to seek these things out again (I mean not Reddit oh god no). Because it's easier to come out online. Less committal. But now once I start coming out again in real life, it looks like the internet turned me trans again.

So I'm sitting here watching JoJo's bizarre adventure (part 5), and Mista makes an inappropriate joke towards Trish. My mum walks in just in time to witness it and rolls her eyes. I say later on he's beaten up for it. She sits down and asks me if I've ever tried an internet detox. If maybe it's disconnecting me from reality and causing my mental health to... Struggle.

Now. Dear reader. My mental health has, in the past month, been the best it has been in years. She hasn't seen that, because being around her is a near constant stream of *gestures vaguely* this.

Anyway. I don't want to deal with this right now, I just want to watch JoJo. So I jokingly say that I obviously know the punchy ghosts aren't real. She doubles down and says she's talking about my wanting to become the other sex, and blames "Reddit and other internet chatrooms".

I tell her that I DID an internet detox. 4 years ago. I deleted everything. Started focusing on my studies more. It didn't work.

She then says that I didn't entirely. I still used the internet. I still watched things like JoJo. And that my mental health is starting to get bad again.

I refer you to my previous statement on that comment. She doesn't actually know whether or not my mental health is "bad". I'm the happiest I've been in years. She's just saying that I'm trans again.

I just turn on JoJo again and ignore her at this point. She waits a bit longer before walking off.

I did what she asked. But it wasn't good enough. I just didn't do it for long enough. I just didn't go far enough. I just didn't get rid of the right media. I interacted too much with the wrong people. I should just sit in my room doing nothing lest I get infected again. Because even if I'm an empty, miserable, depressed shell of a "man". Well. At least I'm not a fucking tranny.

#vent post #holy shit #I've had to deal with this shit all week #the other day she compared hrt to walter white's meth empire #Literally anything I talk about can turn into how she thinks the whole trans thing is monstrous or delusional or whatever #text post #randyposting #trans #transgender

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helslastangel · 6 months ago

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Yeah I think when it comes to men and their big 6 placements the only water sign i like being around is Cancer. Especially Cancer + Sagittarius or Cancer + Leo heavy charts. Pisces would be cool if they didn't sit back like lazy Greek philosophers and make me do the chasing, big ick ... I'm the woman here, jeez. But Scorpio just makes me downright uncomfortable and exhausted.

Every word I say to Scorpio sun, moon, mars, or Mercury men just gets taken so far out of context or interpreted in the most intense and negative or weird way possible with SO many words put in my mouth that I did not say. It's like trying to date a criminal lawyer who has been hired to defend anyone BUT you. Constantly have to be clarifying, and correcting, you start thinking of disclaimers for everything you say and holding back because you could tell a man with heavy Scorpio placements that you don't like chocolate ice cream, and instead of saying "Oh really? Aww that's a shame I love it" or "lmao I hate it too" like a fucking normal person they gotta say some shit like "oh so do you think that maybe you have some subconscious conditioning against the darkest flavor of ice cream because of how society treats minorities? It seems you might have some self-hatred going on, you should work on that"

Like... seriously dawg? No. It's ice cream. Chocolate is a flavor I merely do not like in ice cream. What in the Wattpad-reddit-pilled world is wrong with you?

And yes I'm generalizing in this moment cuz this kind of shit has happened with every Scorpio sun/moon/mercury/mars and occasionally venus I've ever dealt with. For a very long time.

It seems to be less common with Scorpio risings, thank God. They get the whole cool dark aura without the rest of this shit.

Now I'm kind of worried that I come off like this to other people as a Scorpio Venus even though that is the only Scorpio placement in my personal planets (my other placements are in Jupiter, Pluto, Node, and Juno).

I do experience this a tiny bit with Scorpio-heavy women too but honestly not nearly as heavy-handed with it. I can be friends with Scorpio-dominant women. I need frequent breaks and maybe couldn't handle dating one but it's not even half as draining at all.

Scorpio placement women seem to know how to dole this shit out in doses or raise the heat slowly. Like imagine being a frog; a Scorpio-heavy woman will put you in a little pot and turn up the heat slowly so at least by the time you're cooked you're already dead tbh like it's the definition of being killed softly but Scorpio-heavy men will just boil the water in the back while you're happily ribbiting on their shoulder having no idea they're about to yeet you into the pot with a sling slot. Like man if you don't put me back on my lilypad and leave me alone

I love my Cancer + fire sign men, they're just moody and whiny and respond to food and belly rubs like cats. I can deal with that.

I'm just really annoyed rn sorry y'all 😘

#scorpio #personal observations #just my experience #astrology observations #astrology #astrology tumblr #if it doesn't apply let it fly

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irkimatsu · 27 days ago

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3k, longest thing I've written in a long time! This is in a weird place where it's not specifically stated to be Husk, but it's also not not about Husk. It's about an older bartender who lives above the bar he works for, at any rate. A regular client keeps complaining to him about shitty dates, she hits on him until he agrees to show her how a real man does it, hot sex ensues. This is written strictly as dialogue from Husk the male partner, inspired by a NSFW audio Reddit I listen to stuff from sometimes. I kinda wanna post it there, see if anyone wants to read it? But it'd feel weird if someone who sounds nothing like Husk took it, but it feels even weirder to admit that this was written in Husk's voice...

Also if someone who sounds too much like Husk took it and I listened to it I might explode. There's also that.

I may edit it in either direction - either make it even less clear who the inspiration is, even add contradictory details just so I can say ha haha no this isn't about cartoons of course not, or just say fuck it and add details to clarify that yes, I want to fuck the furry bartender from Hazbin Hotel.

Oral both ways, then sex in doggystyle. Listener has breasts and a vagina and is referred to with female pronouns and words like "woman" and "girl". Husk is pervy but affectionate. A bit of emphasis on the age/experience gap - listener is legal but still young enough to be the speaker's daughter, and he admits to finding the gap kind of fucking hot. "Daddy" gets used. 18+!

...oh! Hey! Didn’t think you’d be dropping by tonight.

(laughs) Of course I’m always happy to see ya. Can I make your usual?

Extra strong, huh? All right.

(mixes and pours drink, sets it on the bar top)

Didn’t you have a date tonight? Guess it didn’t go so well if you’re drinking like this. Did you wanna talk about it?

…mmm-hmm… (disbelieving) …really? Right there in the fucking parking lot? Did he at least buy you dinner first?

…Jesus Christ, he couldn’t even be patient enough to eat before demanding blowjobs off you? Where do you find these assholes?

(reassuring) Hey, hey, I’m not blaming you. It’s just, I swear it’s every week that you’re coming in here bitching about some guy or another. Is this town really that full of scumbags?

You know what I think? I think you need to find guys with more dating experience. Guys who actually know how to treat a girl right. Guys who don’t just assume that a date automatically entitles them to sex, like some fuckin’ participation award or something.

…yeah, a real man. Not these boys you keep picking up.

…huh? …yeah, I have experience, but- oh. Oh, no, no no no. I’m twice your age, doll. I’m sure you could find someone with experience who isn’t old enough to be your father.

(disbelieving laugh) …that drink cannot possibly be hitting you this hard this quick, so what the hell is making you say stuff like that? Why would you date me?

Okay, maybe I was a catch once. Used to hang out in clubs, picking up women, men, other, I ain’t ever been picky… but that was ages ago. I’m all washed up. You could do way better, trust me. I don’t have the charm I used to.

"Better with age"? You flatter me, baby, but you don’t have to. I know my peak is long behind me. I stopped trying to pick up partners years ago.

(scoffs) What are you talking about, “pent up”? Yeah, I’ve still got needs, but-

Ohhh no no no, baby, you are not tempting me like this, I ain’t no cradle robber-

(hesitates) …of course ya look good… ain’t the first time I’ve noticed that. Your body, and that smile… you should be able to hook up with anyone you want. And yet you’re here trying to flirt with some old bartender?

(still disbelieving) …you seriously want to see what I’ve got. You mean it? You’re not gonna regret sleeping with some old man when you think about it later?

…if you insist. It’s a slow night, so I can shut the bar down a little early. Just let me get cleaned up here, then I’ll take you upstairs…

—

All right, here we are. We’re not too far from your place, right? Wouldn’t take too long if you wanna call it quits and take a taxi home?

(firm) Say you don’t wanna go all you want, I’m still leaving you the option.

So... how did you wanna start this? Do you need to be warmed up? I could put on some music, pour some wine-

(defensive) No, I’m not stalling, I’m just making sure-

(short laugh) Okay, okay, I get it! We’ll just get into things! Go on, sit on the bed, I’ll sit with you. Let me get a good look at you…

(in awe) …god, you’re so pretty… fuck, those eyes of yours…

You seem nervous… you okay?

(small chuckle) It’s kinda cute, actually. It’s making me want to… kiss you… (kiss, soft "mmm")

No, no, baby, don’t start getting undressed yet, I’m in no hurry. Let’s savor this, okay? Let me hold you close… and keep kissing you…

(kissing sounds throughout) I don’t get why all your dates are always in such a rush… I get why they want you, of course, but why wouldn’t they want to enjoy your company first? Why wouldn’t they want to kiss you… and hold you… mmm, that’s it, snuggle up to me… fuck, you’re so warm…

Can I touch you? I wanna run my hand down your cheek, your neck… oh, your skin feels so nice...

What about your chest? If it's okay, I’ll start over your shirt…

Ohhh, these are nice, I can tell already... so fuckin’ soft… heh, that noise you just made was so cute… come on, keep kissing me… (more kissing sounds) I’ll rub them gently, squeeze just a little… fuck, I’m getting excited already…

Heh… yeah, yeah, so I’m obviously going through a dry spell. You get used to your own hand for so long, you forget how nice it is to be with somebody.

No! No, this isn’t just me bringing home the first half-decent option I get! It’s more like… it’s been so long, I want my first partner in a while to be someone who’s really worth it, you know?

Here, give me your hand. I want you to touch me, too… stroke my knee, up my thigh… go slow, go as far as you want… yes, that’s it…

(moans) Oh, god, didn’t think you’d- fuck… (chuckle) it’s pretty obvious that you’re getting to me, huh?

Of course you can leave your hand there. Rub it, squeeze it, just be gentle… (moans) ohhh fuck… do… do you like what you feel so far? Mmm… good…

Yeah, I’ll admit it… I’ve- I’ve gotten this excited over you before… but I couldn’t- ah… not with someone… so much younger…

...yeah, you’re an adult, you can make your own decisions... but I didn’t want to be a creep-

(cut off by a kiss) Mmm! Ah… fuck, you’re a good kisser… mmm…

Can I see a little more of you? No, no, leave your hand where it is, fuck, please don’t move it… I'll take care of it. First I'll lift up your shirt…

Mmm, such a pretty bra… shame that poor bastard isn’t the one who gets to see it tonight. Maybe if he treated you right, he could have earned it…

Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make sure I deserve this. Let me hold them, and kiss them… I’ll worship your tits like they deserve… (softly kissing listener's breasts)

Can I push up your bra? Touch them directly? Good… oh, fuck, they’re so soft… so soft against my fingers… (continues kissing breasts) mmm… and my lips… ohhh, yes, keep touching me while I kiss you…

Fuck, your nipples are so hard… so pretty… can I kiss them, too? (more kissing) A little kiss… a little lick… mmm…

(briefly suckles breast)

(chuckles) Ohhh, you like having them sucked, huh? You can’t hide it when you moan like that, baby. Of course I’ll do it again… suckling one, squeezing the other... I won’t neglect you, don’t worry… (suckling) mmm…

(releases breast from mouth, takes a deep breath) Fuck, I need more of you... go on, let’s get this shirt and bra off you… now lay back on the bed…

Mmm, such a pretty thing laying in my bed… a sight I haven’t seen in such a long time…

Let me kiss you more… (kissing) your breasts… your stomach… (chuckles) Ohhh, you’re ticklish, huh? Then I’ll keep kissing you here… mmm, that giggle is so cute…

Can I take these off you? Just your pants first. Like I said, I wanna savor this… wanna see how pretty you are in just your panties…

Ohhh, fuck, that’s so sexy… can I kiss you here, right above the waistband? (kissing) Mmm, and a little lower… I love the tease, only a pretty piece of fabric keeping me from what I want… (deep inhale) fuck, you smell so good… (kiss) and even through these you taste so good… do you like getting eaten out, baby?

…you’re shitting me. Not even once? Are you not interested, or…

None of them? What do you mean, gross? No offense, doll, but I hate your dumbass boyfriends even more with every thing you say about them. ‘Eating pussy is gross’, what the fuck are they even talking about…

(sigh) No, people shouldn’t have to do stuff in bed they don’t want, but… your pleasure matters too. Did they do anything to help you cum?

(He needs a second to process what he's hearing.) …Jesus Christ. Okay. Let me get these panties off you so I can show you what a real man does for a lady. Then I’ll get in close so I can appreciate you like you deserve… (kiss) ah... so, so fucking good… mmm… I’m barely kissing your lips and you’re already getting my mouth soaked… I’ll start you off slow, sliding my tongue between your lips… (licks) ohhh, so sweet… I love knowing you’re dripping like this because of me… do other guys ever get you this wet?

Heh… guess I’m just special…

(keeps licking and kissing) Mmm… yeah, I’ll go faster… press harder… hah… yeah, baby, tug my hair like that, I’ll get as close as you need… haaaah…

Your clit’s so swollen… can I touch it? Just a little lick... oh fuck what a gasp, please keep making that noise… I’ll lick you, I’ll suck you, anything to keep you moaning like that… (eating noises)

Here, get your legs over my shoulders... now squeeze those thighs around me, I want you smothering me with that pretty cunt while I dig my nails into them… (eating and moaning, getting more intense as his partner orgasms)

Haaaah! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck, baby, what a mess… (small laugh) It’s all over my face…

Ohhh, no, baby, this is the opposite of a problem. I love the evidence that I did right by you. So hot and wet, and so fucking sweet… fuck, I’ll be licking my mouth and thinking about your taste for a long time after this…

Did it feel good for you, too? …heh, had a feeling… can’t remember the last time I heard someone scream like that. Fuck, you’re still shaking... do you need a break?

Of course. Do you want me to lay with you? Hold you?

(shuffling on the bed into a cuddling position)

…can I kiss you? Even though I just��?

(kiss) Mmm… heh, is it just me or are you even more eager to kiss me now…?

…hm? Oh, no, you don’t gotta-

Yeah, I like blowjobs, but- no, you don’t owe me or anything, I ate you out because I wanted to, not because-

…you really do like going down? Hm… well, all right, if you insist… just let me kiss those soft lips one more time… (kiss) let me imagine how soft they’ll feel against my cock… mmm…

All right, help me out of my clothes… and go ahead, touch me wherever you want while you do it. (kissing and shuffling of clothes) Mmm… fuck, I can’t stop kissing you… let me hold you close, feel your skin on mine… oh, you’re so warm, so soft… hug me tighter…

Mmm! Hah… you like my ass, baby? Go ahead, give it another squeeze- mmm-!

(breathing heavier) …okay… okay, I don’t know how much longer I can stand waiting. Let me just get comfortable against the headboard… you get comfy, too…

(smug) You like what you see? …is it really that impressive? I’m sure you’ve slept with somebody as big as I am…

You really don’t think you have? You try so hard to flatter me, doll…

Start slow, okay? Stroke it slowly… squeeze it a little, like that… (moans) Yes, that’s good… already so much fucking better than my own hand…

Heh… you look so cute kissing the head like that… come on, look up at me, let me see your eyes while you kiss me… so fuckin’ pretty…

Do you like it when I stroke your head like this? Don’t worry, I won’t push. Go at your own pace.

(moans) Yes, suck the head, just like that… keep using your tongue, keep using your tongue… ah- god, right there- fuck-

(heavy breathing) C-can you- go a little deeper? I want- more-

(moaning as listener sucks him off)

Ah- oh, god, that fucking tongue- yes, yes, yes-

(getting increasingly desperate) Suck me like that- please, deeper-

Can I- tug your hair a little- do you like that- fuck you’re so good-

B-babe… babe, you don’t have to force- fuck- fuck that’s deep- fuck-

Oh, fuck, you’re a goddamn natural… …have you ever… done deepthroat before… I wanna- I wanna feel-

(listener gags as she deepthroats speaker)

Fuck! Fuck your mouth is so wet- oh god that sound is fucking hot- swallow me, baby, please, let me feel your throat-

Oh, god, I can’t stop- my hips- I wanna- I wanna fuck you- fuck-

(speaker is bucking up into listener's mouth, listener isn't slowing down)

I’m sorry, I can’t stop, I’m sorry, I can’t- it’s too good- keep gagging like that, yes-

Oh god I’m gonna cum, make me cum, make me cum-

AH! FUCK! FUCK!

(nearly breathless) Oh… oh my god… fuck, I can’t breathe… fuck, fuck, fuck…

Babe… do you… always suck dick like that…?

Fuck… you suck a guy off… like that… and he doesn’t give you everything you want in return? Fuckin’... ungrateful…

Haaah… oh, god, I can barely move… come up here, I wanna hold you some more… and kiss you… (kiss) mmm…

Of course I don’t mind kissing you after you went down on me. It’s… (kiss) mmm… actually kind of hot… heh, I can tell what a mess I made of your throat… mmm…

…should I get you a tissue to spit in, or-

(both amused and aroused) …ohhhh. Oh, you nasty girl, swallowing it all like that… I’m liking you more by the minute. And I already liked you a lot before I brought you up here… mmm, kiss me again… and touch me… your hand is so soft against me, I wanna feel it anywhere you wanna touch me…

Ah- heh… going right for my dick again, huh?

Yeah, it’s getting hard again. Just thinking about what you just did to me is gonna turn me on for weeks, I can tell already…

Mmm, stroke me, baby… feel it getting harder in your hand, feel it throbbing… fuck, it feels even better now that you’ve gotten it so wet with your mouth…

Fuck, yes, I want more of you. Did you wanna… suck me off again, or…

…what I want… I wanna fuck you. God, I want you even more now than I did when I first brought you to bed. I don’t care anymore if I’m a dirty old man, I want you… come here, kiss me again…

(kissing throughout dialogue) Mmm… I wanna- fuck, I can’t stop kissing you- I wanna… I wanna fuck you hard… and fast… I wanna feel how tight you are… wanna feel you clench- wanna feel you cum- please, baby, I can’t remember the last time I needed someone this fucking bad… please, oh, please…

Any position I want, huh? Then can I see you on your hands and knees? Turn around, give me a good look… ohhhh… oh, fuck…

Fuck, what a nice ass… if I start squeezing it I might never be able to get my hands off it.

Of course I’ve stared at it before. With a body like yours, how am I not supposed to stare? I don’t like being a creep, but I am a man, and I can’t resist a nice ass…

You knew? Heh. Thanks for not slapping me, then.

(speaker is groping listener's ass) Mmm, it’s even softer than I imagined…

...yeah, I’ve fantasized about you before. Imagined kissing you, and touching you… imagined fucking you… just like this…

(hesitantly) Hey... I know you’re so much younger than me, but… can I say that it actually… turns me on? This whole thing… taking a younger woman into my bed, showing her something the boys her age could never give her…

I wondered if those guys you hooked up with every week were taking care of you. Now that I know that they weren’t, I need to make up for it… I need this… I need you… and I want you to need me, too…

God, your pussy’s still soaked… I need another taste of it… (kisses listener between her legs) mmm… oh, god, you’re shivering from the slightest kiss. Mmm… (kissing and licking) So pretty…

I don’t wanna hold back anymore, and you look like you don’t, either. Let me just grab a condom, and-

…no condom? But I want you to be safe. I know I don’t have anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to believe me-

…if you’re sure. ...you know, getting to feel your bare skin on mine, nothing in my way… I don’t wanna be selfish, but I love the idea of getting to feel every soft inch of you… so if that’s how you want it too, then…

I’ll go slow, baby, especially since you don’t think you’ve taken anyone this big before. Let me take your soft hips in my hands, gently rub my cock between your legs… oh, god, I love your heat…

Yes… yes, I’ll fuck you… I wanna fuck you too, baby, I want it as bad as you do… oh, god, you’re so hot, begging for me like that…

(slowly sinks in to listener) Ah! Oh fuck oh fuck… just the head and I’m already shaking… it’s been… way… too… long…

I’ll push in… slowly… oh, god, you’re soaked, and so open, it’s going in so easy…

Haaah… you like… being stretched like this? Oh god… oh god you’re tight… I’ll take it slow… get you used to me… oh, fuck, yes…

(has been slowly pushing in, is now bottomed out) Oh, I love feeling your ass pressed against my waist like that… press back against me while I grind against you… yes…

(starts thrusting, slowly at first, and moaning)

I wanna go faster… harder… wanna hear you begging for it… yes, yes… I’ll fuck you as hard as you want, baby, just beg… beg for me with that pretty voice… oh god…

(gradually speeding up, moaning and gasping)

I don’t think- I could stop- if I tried- fuck you’re so hot inside- beg me, beg me, beg me to fuck you-

(thrusting abruptly stops, the only sound is the speaker breathing heavily)

…haaah… wh… what the- did you just…

I thought I heard you call me… “daddy”...

…I never really thought about it, to be honest… it usually just sounds cheesy in pornos… but, um… could you- say it again…?

Mmm… mmm, yes, beg for daddy… beg daddy to fuck you… beg daddy to fuck your tight, young pussy… oh my god that's fucking good…

(thrusting again, quickly picking up speed)

You- you like it? You like being- my baby? Like being- daddy’s sweet girl? Fuck- fuck you’re clenching- haaah, you love it, I can tell-

Yeah, daddy’ll fuck you hard- daddy wants to hear you screaming for him- take me, baby, take me-

You like it rough like that? You like me digging my nails into your hips while I fuck you?

You’re gonna be so sore in the morning- bruised and scratched- and you’re going to love it, aren’t you, baby, gonna love knowing you’re mine-

Oh my god- cum all over me, cum on my cock, just like that-

(becoming increasingly desperate/feral again) No I won’t stop- I can’t stop- you’re so tight, baby, so hot-

You’re mine now- they can’t please you- not like I can- you’re mine, you’re mine-

I’m cumming, baby- gonna make you- mine-

(crying out in such intense pleasure)

HAAAAH! Fuck! FUCK!

(barely able to breathe) Ohhhh… oh god oh god… oh fuck… oh fuck…

Fuck, baby, I can… barely… stay upright… let’s… just lie down… right here…

(speaker collapses onto the bed, with listener cuddling up to him shortly after)

I love cuddling after sex, especially when it's that intense… oh, god, I don’t wanna let you go… my heart is hammering… can you feel it…?

I had… a lot of fun. I forgot how much… I missed stuff like this. Did you… have fun too?

Good. I’m… glad. My first time after so long… I’m glad it was with you, and not just some stranger. I always like it when you stop by the bar. I love our conversations. Love making you smile…

You make me feel… special, you know? Even before this… but especially now…

Would you wanna… do this again sometime…?

We don’t have to be monogamous or anything. Not like I’m proposing marriage. I just… I really like you. I wanna try this out some more… see where it goes…

(kiss) Mmm… you kiss me so sweetly, even after I was just so rough with you…

Heh… okay. Let’s just take this… one day at a time. See where it goes. I’m… I’m looking forward to it.

…did you wanna get going? Get showered off while I call you a cab?

No, I’m not throwing you out! But if you don’t want to spend the night in some old guy’s bed I’d understand-

…of course you can stay, if that’s what you want. If you stay… can we keep cuddling?

Heh… good… come on, let’s move up to the pillows, get you comfortable…

(shuffling as both reposition)

is everything all right? Not too cold? Good. Come here, let me hold you… let me keep you warm…

…hey… what sorts of things have you tried in bed before? Do you like anal? Or bondage…?

(intrigued) Hmmm… then I could teach you, if you want. Like you said, I’ve got experience. There’s a lot of fun stuff I could teach you… would you like that? An older man teaching you how to be dirty for him? Mmm, that’s what I like to hear. I’m looking forward to next time already…

(kiss)

I’ll see you in the morning, baby…

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel husk x reader #hazbin husk x reader #husk x reader #x reader #irk blubbers about nothing #irk huskposts #irk has reached peak cringe

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ckret2 · 8 days ago

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I just wanted to say that I have been loving the Akuposting that has been happening as of late. The vibes that evil tree gives off are immaculate and so are the considerations you give his character. Consider this an open invitation to share any more random bits you might want to on him and Scaramouche/Mojo/the PPGs/anybody else you like!

I got this ask while I was working on the big art post for the kage and hikaru au, but saved this for a separate post just so i could post even more, different headcanons lmao.

I'll fling out several headcanons but I'm gonna put them all in separate posts so that it's not one super long post on a dozen topics again. because i crave peer validation and maybe if they're several shorter posts more people will comment lmao. The others will be posted not long after this one.

for this post I'm giving you some thoughts about scaramouche's & aku's musical tastes. I'm sticking it under a read more but first, ✨a request for help from y'all✨:

Are any of y'all fans of free jazz/avant garde jazz/experimental jazz? Do you have any recommendations for a newbie just stepping into the genre? Preferably ones that highlight the flute? Thanks gang.

Okay so Scaramouche's flute playing & singing is pure improv; if he's got any specific musical style, it's some kind of jazz. But we never hear him performing, like... normal music.

Two possibilities: either his magic to works by hitting certain notes or intervals, so he's just trying to make the necessary sounds, not play "music"; or, you need to be so far down on the jazz music iceberg you can't even see sunlight through the water before you hit the kind of avant garde shit Scaramouche is into.

Logically, I think the first option makes a little more sense; but personally, I like making in-character "what would they like to listen to" music playlists, which means I need to have a canon basis for the character's musical tastes; so I'm rolling with "he's into experimental jazz."

(The problem is I've dug into jazz for a prior character, but it was pre-WW2 jazz & swing. Like, "We'll Meet Again is way too late for the kind of jazz we're talking about" jazz. For Scaramouche I need "We'll Meet Again is way too early for the kind of jazz we're talking about" jazz. Whiiiiich is why I'm asking for recommendations lmao.)

The group of bots Scaramouche has jam sessions with are playing jazz so free that if a recognizable melody ever dared walked into the club, they would shoot it dead on sight. Their jazz is so avant garde that should the uninitiated ever hear them play, they'd think "oh wow that's what happens when you hand robots instruments, they don't understand music at all." No. Those robots understand music better than you or I ever will. The most elite of jazz snobs walks into that club, hears them play, and begins weeping at the beauty. It's exquisite. If you're into that kind of thing.

"Okay but the ask was for headcanons about Aku, how is that relevant to Aku?" It's relevant for this reason:

Aku thinks that shit sucks balls.

Scaramouche keeps inviting Aku to listen to his band play (the band does NOT know this and would be TERRIFIED if their boss showed up), and Aku keeps turning him down, because He Does Not Want To Listen To That.

Scaramouche thinks Aku's taste in music also sucks but he's willing to give it a shot. Aku doesn't care about his opinion.

I already did a headcanon about Aku's music tastes but I'm expanding on it: we've established that he's into techno music; I asked around on reddit about what kind of genre they think the mind control rave music is, and their suggestion is psytrance, maybe forestpsy or darkpsy, so that's what I'm going with until I can really dig into the nitty-gritty on the different genres in that area.

I think he'd also be into traditional music, like, "so old the only two people on the planet who still remembers these songs are Aku and Jack" traditional music. Before I can give specifics on that I need to do some research on traditional Japanese music.

Did you know your brain is trained to understand/hear certain music as musical? If you haven't been trained on a kind of music (just,, listen to it a lot), it doesn't hit. It doesn't sound "good" because your brain doesn't know how to listen to it. It might not even sound like music to you. Anyway—all that is to say that my brain has been trained on Western music, which means I'm anticipating a lot of musical brain training & historical research before I can give any sort of nuanced opinions on traditional Japanese music beyond "that sure is traditional and Japanese all right." So I'm gonna leave that part of his tastes vague for now.

But one extra detail: I think Aku was born already knowing some songs, including some from hundreds or thousands of years before he was born. They were songs sung by mourners at the edge of the pit of hate whose loved ones had been consumed.

#thewiglesswonder #ask #samurai jack #aku #scaramouche #headcanons

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3th3r111 · 18 days ago

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⋆｡𖦹 ˚ 𓇼 ˚｡⋆ Shifting Diaries ⋆｡𖦹 ˚ 𓇼 ˚｡⋆

This is just going to be notes on my experiences so far during my shifting journey. I have not shifted yet for those wondering.

April 22nd:

I created my script and did not really try to shift that night nor 23th morning.

April 23rd:

I continued editing my script. This day I did try to shift using the intention method, and I experienced many shifting symptoms such as floating, feeling as if my body is shaking, feeling as if I'm falling, tingling, etc.

April 24th:

I finished making my script look nice and aesthetic this day. I used the intention method once again, and this day I had more intense symptoms. I had the same symptoms as the previous day, but i also felt like an earthquake if that makes sense. It was like very intense shaking as if there was a whole earthquake in my room. I also saw like a flashing white light and my eyes were closed btw and my room was dark.

April 25th:

I used the intention method again just the same symptoms as the 23rd with floating, feeling as if my body is shaking, feeling as if I'm falling, tingling, etc.

April 26th:

So this day I decided to do something completely different. I watched a video and this girl was talking about how she was able to shift through astral projection through a lucid dream. I'm very good at lucid dreaming, and I've been doing it since I was young. I do not always lucid dream, but whenever I want to, I literally just simply say a couple of affirmations before sleeping so I'll remember that I'm dreaming and what I want to do in the lucid dream. So I was going to try to astral project through my lucid dream so that I could shift once I astral projected. (btw I have never astral projected but I've tried to before). So i set off my intention to lucid dream and everything and I fell asleep. I had not lucid dreamt in a long time so I didn't know if it would work right away. but turns out it did. I lucid dreamt and as soon as I did I tried like 4 times to do this astral projection technique where you like try to yank yourself out of your body or imagine a rope and pull yourself out. I imagined myself sleeping in my bed trying to pop or pull out of my body. With the like 4 times I tried none of them worked 💀. I was literally just led to a false awakening which kept repeating itself. But then I remembered about how i'd read that this one person on reddit said you can try jumping off a really high building and the falling sensation would help you astral project. So, I tried that and for a moment I felt like it was working but then I opened my eyes and it did not work and there were cannibals trying to eat me on the ground 💀💀💀. So uh yeah maybe I won't try that again. Anyways but I managed to escape and then i thought about what if I simply just use the intent method like I did the first couple of days but in the lucid dream. So, I did that and I felt like it was working I even saw a flashing white light while I had my eyes closed in the dream. But unfortunately I opened my eyes too soon and I woke up.

Notes:

So yeah, that's a bit of experience so far. And btw this is like my third period of time trying I guess you could say. So to give a bit of background I first "learned" about shifting 3 years ago, but i thought it was like literally just lucid dreaming and people calling that shifting so i was like nah why would i do that if I already lucid dream. But then like a year ago, I learned the actual real tea about shifting and how it's completely different from lucid dreaming and wayyy more real. So i was like cool lets try. So i started off with the counting methods or like the methods with lots of steps and stuff. I felt symptoms with those, but it was just really uncomfortable for me. So, I decided to try something different. From there on I learned about using lucid dreaming to shift through the void. I actually had a whole 2-3 weeks where I was trying to enter the void, but it just led to a lot of false awakenings. So, then i decided to just focus on shifting through lucid dreams and it was pretty cool and fun. like I know i didn't succeed but the journey was amazing, and seeing how my mind could react was crazyy. So I tried several different things such as spinning and affirming to shift, falling through the floor to shift, making a cookie appear and affirming it would help me shift, using portals, and just a lot of different things in general LMAO. and they mostly shifted the dream. like i would open my eyes and be in these insane places (not my dr btw) but it would be a dream but it looked pretty cool and like a whole landscape of cities and areas but the reality checks would prove they were just lucid dreams.

Notes:

so I think in the future I'm going to stick to the intention method before I sleep, but also trying to lucid dream so I can maximize that time too. And then once I lucid dream literally just do the same intention method again that I do while I'm awake.

#shifting motivation #shifting community #shifting realities #reality shifter #shifting blog #shifting #reality shifting #shifters #shift blog #anti shifters dni #shifting antis dni #shiftingrealities #shiftblr

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 25 days ago

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TTPD PLAYLISTS PART 4: Old Habits Die Screaming

Better late than never! We're onto the fourth playlist in the "5 Stages of Heartbreak" series, and the one I was most excited to get to, because it's the one I've been obsessed with for the last year. I think I've started and abandoned posts about this about a dozen times, but nothing like an arbitrary deadline to get the juices flowing, right?

(Links to Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 if you missed them)

If the bargaining playlist gagged me when it came out because of the implications of what she wanted and what she'd do to get there, the depression playlist punched me in the gut because of how it highlighted the ramifications of losing these things-- and yourself along with it.

Usual disclaimer: we're going into the themes, focusing on pre-TTPD songs first, have fun.

You can find the full playlists on this Reddit thread, which is where I got the transcripts from.

Let's go: Old Habits Die Screaming, aka Depression

Putting under a cut because this got a little long

Here is how Taylor describes this playlist:

“We're going to be exploring the feelings of depression that often lace their way through my songs. In times like these, I'll write a song because I feel lonely or hopeless. And writing a song feels like the only way to process that intensity of an emotion. And while these things are really, really hard to go through, I often feel like when I'm either listening to songs or writing songs that deal with this intensity of loss and hopelessness — usually that's in the phase where I'm close to getting passed that feeling.”

In other words: It was house and then cardiac arrest.

Track list:

Bigger Than The Whole Sky // Dear Reader // Maroon // You’re Losing Me // my tears ricochet // epiphany // hoax // champagne problems // coney island // right where you left me // Nothing New // All Too Well // Forever Winter // We Were Happy // Last Kiss // Castles Crumbling // Carolina // White Horse

The lyrics that tell (a) story:

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes 'cause it's all over, it's not meant to be, so I’ll say words I don’t believe // You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there // How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbing with your head in your hands, ain't that the way shit always ends // How long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? // And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home // "Doc, I think she's crashing out," And some things you just can't speak about // My twisted knife, my sleepless night, my winless fight, this has frozen my ground // "She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head," they said // Lost again with no surprises, disappointments, close your eyes and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down // Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it, she's still twenty-three inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be // I've had too much to drink tonight, how did I go from growing up to breaking down? // Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it, I'd like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it // I call, just checking up on him, he's up, 3 A.M., pacing, he says, "It's not just a phase I'm in" // Oh, I hate those voices telling me I'm not in love anymore, but they don't give me choices and that's what these tears are for // You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind // My castle's crumbling down and I watch all my bridges burn to the ground // Lost I was born, lonesome I came, lonesome I'll always stay // 'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't our fairytale, I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well

Once again, it was harder to pick out lyrics than I thought it would be, because so many of the songs are one giant ball of depression and grief and any one line could be included here. Based on Taylor's intro (we'll get to that in a second) I tried to weave a story about how the narrator was feeling by picking out lines about their thoughts and actions that depict grief, loss, loneliness and depression. Because while the songs all depict different kinds of loss (dreams, faith, innocence, people, identity, work, etc.), the common thread is the devastation left in their wake.

… And what that story means:

I've said repeatedly over the last year -- to the point where you might be sick of me saying it idk -- that one of the things I love about the Depression playlist is her introduction to it. Because it sums up what her career-- and this album-- have really been about: writing her way through life, even the most painful bits, in order to process her experiences. I know she's said it in other contexts, but it was incredibly poignant to me that she said that when she's dealing with intense loss or sadness, writing about it is how she knows she's on her way to getting through it, which is especially pointed given what we now know are the themes of the album, because TTPD IS about grief, full-stop.

In this way, I do think it's significant that Bigger Than The Whole Sky is the first song on the (pre-TTPD additions) playlist, and the first song to come on the heels of the intro, because it's the starkest, rawest depiction of the actual feeling of depression, and that sets the stage for the rest of the playlist and the story therein. It perfectly distills the idea of life-changing loss and the absolute heaviness of its aftermath, which is then explored throughout the rest of the playlist. (And, unsurprisingly, is exactly what TTPD is about.) It's incredibly vulnerable and brave of her to talk about writing through that hopelessness, and presumably these songs are a reflection of those sentiments.

(Soapbox speech: I've said many times that personally, I believe BTTWS is the gateway to understanding both Midnights and TTPD. Midnights is an album about someone in the throes of depression grappling with how they got to this place and ruminating about events in their life, and TTPD is an album that delves into grief in the aftermath of loss. BTTWS quite literally describes how the narrator feels about both of those very things, and I think is essential to putting listeners in the mindset of the person telling these stories. IMO that's why it's included on Midnights, and why I think it's an excellent "gateway" leading into Fortnight/TTPD, both sonically and thematically. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.)

So with all that being said, this is what this "medley" sounds like to me:

Our dreams have gone up in smoke and I've lost faith in the future // and behind closed doors I am all alone in sitting in this grief // We broke apart and somehow we ended up turning into the very thing we scoffed at // How long could we stew in this sadness before it killed us both? // Because our home is no longer our home anymore // And it's making me careen off a cliff // I can't move past this betrayal // and maybe I would have gotten the life I'd wanted or people expected of me if I weren't so fucked up // The constant letdown is bleeding me dry bit by bit // And I'm stuck here while the world moves on and I don't know how to leave // And on the nights where I drink my sorrows away I wonder how I got here // I miss who I used to be before all of this happened // This isn't temporary, there's something fundamentally wrong // I know I have to leave, but I can't help mourning what I'm giving up in the process // Because you were the one thing I counted on and I never thought you'd give up on us like this // and I'm watching everything we built collapse around us // I might be destined to be alone forever // But in the end, leaving is right, because I don't deserve what you've done to me, and it's time for me to move on.

Oof.

It's just unrelenting sadness from start to finish.

But like with the other playlists, there are bookends to this journey. We start BTTWS with a narrator who is wholly weighed down by unrelenting grief, and we end with White Horse and a narrator who is coming out the other side of it and realizing that they have to walk away in order to save themselves and rebuild after the loss of that dream.

Again: her mind 🤌

I said in the post about the Bargaining playlist that that selection feels like someone grappling with the need for control vs. the lack of it, and this section is what happens when that lack of control sends you into an emotional tailspin, because loss by its very nature is out of your hands. It's the fallout, and the ways in which you claw out of that pit, that help you regain the footing you lost along the way. (Which, again: is extremely evident as a theme on TTPD on the road from grief to mania to depression to rebuilding.)

What struck me in the way this particular playlist was organized is that the album sections almost feel like their own chapters, too. Midnights starts us off with a run about breaking down, breaking apart and intense loneliness. Folklore is about betrayal and the trauma from it. Evermore is about the disappointment in your life not turning out the way you'd dreamed of. Red is about sinking into depression and being unable to find your way out. We Were Happy/Last Kiss/Castles Crumbling is grappling with the life you've built coming down, even when it's at your own hand. Carolina is feeling lonely when no one understands you. And White Horse is the period on the sentence, the summation of the entire journey which is: you might watch your life be dismantled, but in the end, you can rebuild it with an even stronger foundation from what you've learned.

(As an aside: the folklore run in particular struck me, because it feels like the stories in those songs go: losing her masters -> covid -> potentially the inflection point of the relationship breakdown. The track order throughout these playlists is absolutely purposeful and if I could remember what I've been thinking I'd dive into it more, and I'm just curious if this might be one of those things.)

So then jumping back into TTPD, here are the songs that then made the cut afterwards:

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus // How Did It End? // I Look In People's Windows // Clara Bow // loml // Florida!!! // Down Bad // Fortnight

Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that the Depression playlist ended up getting the most TTPD songs on it. Because again: it's an album about grief and loss! It makes sense that that informed so much of the art.

You see the pining and grief over the "what if?" from BTTWS in songs like Chloe et al. or I Look In People's Windows or loml. You see the confusion over loss from Last Kiss or We Were Happy in How Did It End? You see the rumination over the ways in which society destroys women and leads to the systems in which they end up playing these roles professionally and personally from Nothing New or Castles Crumbling (or even My Tears Ricochet) in Clara Bow or even Florida!!! to an extent. You see the fear over the future if the present stays its course from songs like You're Losing Me in Fortnight. You see the paralysis in the wake of loss from songs like All Too Well or even Right Where You Left Me in Down Bad.

(I also think I could make direct parallels between individual song themes/stories and the TTPD songs, but this is long enough and I'd be here all day.)

One of my favourite things that Taylor has said about the album is:

“This writer is of the firm belief that our tears become holy in the form of ink on a page. Once we have spoken our saddest story, we can be free of it.”

And IMO that is exactly what this playlist reflects. It starts off as a story about unspeakable loss, and ends with the narrator moving on to write their next story.

We're in the home stretch! One last playlist to conquer, Acceptance!

(ICYMI: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3)

#once again not proofreading just posting to get it over with lmao #ttpd playlists #the tortured poets department #writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics #bigger than the whole sky #bttws #<- tagging for once so I can actually find it on my blog with my other posts one day #i thought i'd have more to say but i'm too tired and too sick of myself tbh!

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