#I've actually been thinking about this lately and might make a post/rant about it in regards to a game I HAVE been with from the start

[dorenarox]

What is that? Is that an unusual effect? Is THIS something people pay money for?????

[simpxxstan]

hi i would like to req cheol x fem!reader with the song you are in love by taylor swift. thank you!

congrats on 500 followers btw 🫶🏼

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event (closed now)!

thank you for this request, really hoping you like it! i'm not a swiftie so i was unsure of how to interpret the song prompt. hope i did it justice! posting very very late, thank you for being patient for so long <3 happy bday month to cheollie!!! i love him so much and this couple too. i think i might write a few more drabbles for them later lol

genre: coworkers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff

word count: 3.3k words

warnings: reader is fwb with an oc (not seungcheol).

"you are in love!" your best friend says. "yeah, i know." you sigh, "that's why i've been ranting for so-" "no, silly! not with jay. you're in love with seungcheol!" you had laughed off her words, wondering if she'd become tipsy way too fast into your girls' night.

but when you're lying in your bed later that night, the thought lingers in your mind- the alcohol clearing up and making you progressively more sober as the cold air from the open window hits you, while your friend snores soundly next to you.

"think about it." "i am thinking ab-" "no, you've never really thought about this before. think about it clearly." you'd laughed heartily at her faux-wisdom, which always appeared after finishing two cans of beer.

but she's right. you have actually never thought about this. you've been so obsessed with getting jay to like you that you've never really given a second thought about seungcheol... and what he really means to you now.

"i'd expect more from a stats major and a data analyst, honestly. aren't you supposed to be logical and rigorous-" you slap her arm while doubling over with laughter, knowing full well that she's imitating the words of an infamous professor in your college. "i am being logical. we're just coworkers."

were you?

now that you think about it, certainly not. you're more than coworkers. more like friends. more like best friends. in fact, he's the closest friend you've made since your days in college. just coworkers don't buy each other their favourite drinks when the other has a bad day. just coworkers don't hang out for hours after work nearly every other day. just coworkers don't invite each other to parties with their separate friend groups. just coworkers don't have inside jokes that prevent you from forming friends with anyone else in the office.

your mind travels back to last thursday, when seungcheol had saved your ass for the nineteenth time this year when you'd arrived late by preventing the boss from noticing.

and the thursday before that, when seungcheol had dropped you home after he'd found out that jay had made you cry during an argument in the break room just before work got over.

and the thursday before that, when you'd gone with seungcheol to taste the menu at three different banquets because he was busy planning the wedding of his best friend, joshua, and needed an unbiased taster.

did just coworkers know everything about each other? including his dentist appointment's dates, the last time you went grocery shopping, the last time he went to watch a movie, the vitamin supplements you eat after breakfast, and so much more.

you smile in the darkness. no, you and seungcheol could never be just coworkers. you're best friends, nothing less of that.

but love?

ah, no. you'll bet your life on this one. you've been in love before. and what you feel for seungcheol is nothing like it.

_

your heart hammers in your chest as you ring the doorbell again, the weight of the melting cake heavy in your hand. you distinctly remember jay telling you that he'd be home tonight, then why wasn't he responding to his calls nor opening his door?

you're answered about twenty minutes later. you're sitting on the stairs in front of his flat when you hear him walking up the stairs... and there's someone else's voice too. a female voice.

"y/n?"

words get caught in your throat when you see mina, the new intern fresh out of a college, walking right beside him, arm looped in his, a hickey prominent on her neck, freshly bruised.

"why are you here?" she asks you, and you wince.

"i wanted to surprise you... for your birthday! sorry, i- i didn't know you had plans."

jay smiles as he looks at mina next to him, and pulls her closer. "no, mina actually surprised me too. and we went out dancing. sorry, have you been waiting for long? you should've call-"

"i did."

jay pulls out his phone and checks it. "oh shucks. you've been calling for the last twenty minutes," he takes a step forward and leans in to kiss your cheek, lightly. "you can join us for dinner? i'm sure mina won't mind." mina definitely minds, because she looks like she's going to shoot you down in a matter of seconds.

"nah, i'll just leave. happy birthday though. i can see you had a good one." would you be petty if you didn't give him the cake?

"sorry for making you wait for so long, y/n-ah."

one year and four months.

"no worries, man. enjoy your night. bye mina!" and you smile, like the stupid people-pleaser you are. at least you brought the cake with you.

_

"what's up?" seungcheol opens the door and you smell the heavenly aroma of fried noodles from his kitchen greet you.

"thank you for opening the door."

seungcheol raises an eyebrow at you. "why would i not open the door? you're literally-"

"yeah no, that's cause jay didn't. he went out with mina, it turns out." you stuff the cake into his fridge and stand next to him where he's cooking in a wok.

"mina? intern mina?"

"yeah. they made out too... so i'm guessing it wasn't friendly."

seungcheol scoffs. "mina joined, like, last week."

"two weeks."

"he switched you up for her although he's been with you for a year and a half."

"she's twenty-two, cheol. i'm pushing thirty. i'm not sexy anymore." you bite your lip as you look at the word puzzle in the newspaper on the coffee table. seungcheol doesn't reply immediately, so your heart sinks a little further. even if he doesn't subjectively find you sexy, he could just say it to console you. well, but it's a stretch to even expect that from-

"you're the sexiest woman i've ever met." seungcheol says, his voice softer, as he plops down next to you, holding two bowls filled with the fried noodles. he begins to eat wordlessly, legs propped up on the coffee table, almost inhaling the food. if you move your leg a little, your bodies would touch.

you don't reply. you can't reply. you start eating the food too, relishing the flavours in silence.

"want some more? there's more egg bits towards the bottom, i know you-"

"it doesn't matter if you think i'm the sexiest woman. clearly he doesn't."

"is jay the only person whose opinion matters?"

"are you really asking me that?"

"what i am asking you is that you've wasted one year and a half pining over a man who doesn't care for anything more than sex, and you still hope he's worth your time?"

your breath stutters. seungcheol's staring at you, and you feel shameful and self-conscious suddenly. all the fire and rage from your earlier comments dissipate and you sigh.

"you think i don't have a chance at all?"

"jay is an asshole, y/n. i think that you shouldn't care about him at all. but that's just what i think. my opinion doesn't ma-"

"shut the fuck up," you extend a hand to grab his wrist and make him look at you again.

seungcheol does look at you again but doesn't say anything.

"my best friend says i like you."

seungcheol's fork clatters in his bowl and you both turn to look at each other.

you have no idea why you say that. sure, it's been on your mind all day, all evening, and suddenly you feel like you're on your toes around him through the day. even when you two sat together at work, you'd become oddly conscious of his presence in your periphery, which has never occurred to you before.

"do you?"

and you have no idea why he says it either. in all the million possible options of things he could've said right now, you'd never imagined him asking this to you right on your face.

so you have nothing to say, except a very shaky, a very feeble, "i don't know."

_

the next day, two things happen.

first, seungcheol isn't talking to you. well, he is talking. but not properly. talking like could you press the elevator button or do you want some grapes or did you read the mail.

second, jay's talking to you a lot. he follows you into the break room and apologises again for standing you up on his birthday night.

"it's okay really. i hope you had a wonderful time with mina." you don't make eye contact, not really interested in listening to his whining, instead more focused on making the espresso you know that seungcheol craves during the afternoon.

"i... just wanted to clarify. there's nothing between us, you know. nothing going on." "you don't have to clarify that to me-" "i know. but still. wanted to know if it's all good between us." you push your tongue into your cheek to stop a curse from coming out. finally you pick up the two mugs of coffee and face him. "yes jay, all's good." jay smiles widely. "so are we on for the annual company dinner for this weekend?"

shit. you'd forgotten about that.

"umm-"

"but we go every year!" and jay throws you those puppy eyes that bring out the wrinkles next to his eyes that were the first reason you'd fallen for him.

it, surprisingly, doesn't make you feel weak in the knees.

"i'll confirm by tonight, okay? gotta go."

you head straight to seungcheol's desk and put down the cup of coffee on his desk, making him look up from his desktop.

"do you have a plus one for the company dinner?"

his eyes widen, and he responds after a moment's pause. "no. but-"

"will you come with me?"

"what?"

"will you be my plus one?"

"but you're going with jay?"

"who told you that?"

"you did, genius. that's all you could talk about on monday."

you cringe internally. you don't even know why you do that- talking so much about jay, thinking so much about jay, just... caring so much for him. is it a parasocial thing? like people crush on their celebrities and make imaginary daydreams about taking care of their crushes? because jay certainly hasn't recicprocated even a tenth of your affection.

or maybe it's because of the sex. it is natural for friends with benefits to end up liking each other. well, in your case, liking the other without the other liking you. perhaps it's the physical intimacy. perhaps it's the consolation that you may be pushing thirty but you're still attractive enough to be on the market. perhaps it's the attention he gives you during your hookups. and perhaps it's the lack of attention from anyon-

wait.

you don't have a lack of attention. you have friends.

so it's not the attention bit.

is it specifically male attention?

but seungcheol is male. and he gives you a lot of attention, but only as a friend. you may be the sexiest woman he's ever met but he would never hook up with you. he's way out of your league.

"i don't want to go with jay." you finally respond back, clicking your tongue.

"huh? isn't that like your dream?"

"seungcheol. don't push it."

"i'm the one pushing it? i tell you not to like him, and you're mad at me. i tell you to like him, and you're still mad at me. what am i supposed to say, y/n?" and he pouts. fucking pouts at you like a little boy who's not allowed to eat sweets, and your heart breaks into a million pieces. you know he's not even trying to fake his cuteness (like jay does sometimes) and yet there's something so adorable about him right now that makes you want to-

fuck.

"just answer me, cheol. please. yes or no?"

"when have i ever said no to you?"

your mouth twists as you nod. he hasn't. ever said no to you.

"i'll tell jay i'll be going with you then."

you turn around to walk away, but seungcheol pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up close to his chest so that you have to tilt your head up to talk to him. "what?"

"is this some let's make jay jealous mission?"

"what?!" your eyes go wide and you scoff.

"of course NOT. what do you think i am? i'm not that desperate."

seungcheol sighs.

"whatever you say, darling."

_

seungcheol looks as good as ever when he comes around to pick you up and drive you to the company dinner that weekend.

"red suits you," he says, taking in the dress you've brought out from your mother's closet specially for this event. this dress is made to impress. it's the dress your mom wore at the party where she met your dad for the first time, and you've heard from dad countless times how enchanting she looked in the dress. you're hoping you'll do the dress half the justice, but clearly you haven't inherited your mother's body proportions, so it doesn't look as good as it did on her. and yet, the plunging sweetheart neckline allows you to wear pretty accessories that you hardly get to wear to work. it is really a dress to impress. somehow, something inside you wants to impress.... someone. and for some reason, you don't think it's jay.

the car ride is silent. it's extremely uncomfortable because you don't remember the last time you spent ten minutes in the same space as seungcheol without talking to him. you knew you shouldn't have raised the my friend thinks i like you shit. but you've raised it and now you can't go back. his question still lingers in your mind, and it feels like a challenge.

do you like him?

when you look at him in the moonlight, his jawline is shaved clean and his hair is slicked off his forehead. it's not like you've never realised before this how handsome seungcheol is. in fact, it was the one of the first things you'd noticed about him. he's got an aura about him that's so attractive from the outside. but as you grew closer to him, the attraction somewhat wore off into a casual comfort... where you can exist in the same space with him without double taking at his beautiful smile or wondering why his dimples are so cute.

but that's not to say that his appeal is lost on you.

under the moonlight, he looks godly.

''i heard jay's going with mina." he finally tells you when he parks into the parking lot.

"good for them." he looks at you and cocks an eyebrow, and you shrug.

you're about to open the door and step out, but he quickly grabs your hand across the car, and pulls you inside.

"umm. y/n, i don't know what you're doing. but i- whatever i said that day- look, i don't like jay because i think he's rude to you? but apart from that i'm sure he's a great guy and you should like him if you want to. and i have no right to say anything about it-"

"what?" you're so confused by his little monologue.

"sorry i'm saying this poorly. what i mean is, please don't let what i said that night make you avoid jay or anything."

"this isn't about that."

"it's not?" he tilts his head in query.

"no. this isn't about how i feel about jay."

"it's not?" he asks you again, his face more confused. you're tempted to smile at the cute confusion on his features, but you know it'll make him mad for spoiling this serious moment.

"this is about how i feel about you."

_

seungcheol does not utter any more words to you after that. there's still a very prominent confusion on his face, but he masks it well with his natural charm.

but you're not confused at all for once. everything seems to become clear to you with 100% HD clarity. for some reason, it all makes sense now. why your best friend thinks you're in love with seungcheol.

because you've never been in love before.

you've always fallen for the toxic type of person, like jay. relationships that are more about hookups and drunken fights than emotional bonds and care. and your past experience has made you feel that love is nothing smooth. it's always been a rocky path for you. push and pull, where you're both pushed around and pulled to meet to other's conveniences.

but being with seungcheol is so... different.

there's no loneliness. no push and pull, no compromise. only laughter and memories. he makes you smile you more than any of your love interests have made you smile. he makes you laugh ever so often. he takes care of you when you're sick. he cooks for you whenever he comes over because you can't cook to save your life. he wrote you a birthday card. he bought matching t-shirts from a thrift store because you both happened to like the design. right now, when you see the way he's talking to another colleague, his pretty lips articulating every word clearly, your heart warms with fondness. a stray hair sticks out, and you fix it back. he doesn't notice. or he pretends not to. when jay comes around within your periphery, he pulls you closer, and you can't help but smile again. something about everything he does is so endearing.

it's not a eureka moment.

and yet, it feels good to feel love for real for the first time of your life. you can die tonight happily, knowing you're capable of real love. because you know you do love seungcheol. for all his pouty tantrums and all his whining complaints, you love him the most in the world right now, and you simply cannot imagine choosing a life without him.

"do you want to dance?"

seungcheol's been deliberately avoiding eye contact, but now he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

"no."

you giggle at the sudden reply. "why?" his frown deepens, and you tug at his lips with your fingers. "you don't look good when you frown." "it doesn't matter." "it does." "no one's looking at me." "no one's looking at me either." "shut up. jay's boring holes into your dress with the way he's ogling you." seungcheol's face flares up, and you're mildly amused. "and what about the boy i want to ogle?" "huh?" "you. you're so handsome, cheol." his eyes unfocus from jay and back at you, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

"what are you doing, y/n? why are you playing with my heart?"

"i'm not, though? i'm just telling you how i feel."

"and how's that?"

"i feel like dancing with you under the moonlight. i feel like going on a long drive with you. i feel like hugging you on the warmth of your couch until we fall asleep. i've never done these things, seungcheol, will you come with me?"

"never danced? fuck, you're not being treated right."

and he shows you. he takes you to the centre of the hall area, where the roof's glass so that it's slightly isolated from the result of the expanse, and the moonlight's shining in like a spotlight. there are only a few people dancing there, mostly couples. but seungcheol and you dance at the very centre, lost in each other's eyes, forgetting that this is a public place. it doesn't matter. nothing does. except him.

you are in love, your best friend's voice floats into your mind. and you smile as you look into seungcheol's eyes, realising she was right all along.

so you tell him.

"i love you, cheol."

seungcheol stutters in his step for a second. but it doesn't matter. your pace was anyway too slow. he pulls you closer against his chest, and cups your cheek with one hand. "what's that?"

"i told you this night's about you. and i've realised it now. i am in love."

and when seungcheol kisses you later that night, you're downright thankful you've finally realised your feelings. because how did you ever think you'd survive without his cherry kisses?

[saintobio]

Hi saint!!! I hope you're doing well. You've been very active these days, and I hope you're still taking time for yourself!!🫶

First thing first...BLACK CANVAS!!😭😭👏

GIRL, YOU BROKE MY HEART. It was actually a very realistic, heartwarming but still heartbreaking ending, but I'm glad sukuna had the chance to prove himself and to feel good with the person he is. It makes me so incredibly happy. It's still a little bitter how he was able to move on and get engaged after just two years, but it's for the best of both him and mc. As regards mc, I can't understand if she's in a relationship with satoru? She seemed to be attracted to sukuna and to have some feelings still, but I don't know 👁👄👁

As for sy, the sneak peak you posted yesterday kinda broke my heart. I feel like both mc and satoru are struggling, and mc, being traumatised and skeptical towards gojo, can't let him explain the situation. I kinda wish she would hear him out🥲

And I wonder what akemi situation actually is👁👄👁 and I also wonder if mc will misunderstand something since, in the sneak peak, she interrupted gojo right when he was about to tell her (supposedly)

I've ranted enough!! Thank you so much for interacting with us Saint!! Sending you love🫶🫶💗

i am doing great, thank you 🥹 i’m working from home for the next 2 weeks so i’ve been having so much free time lately.

also for blank canvas bahaha i was satisfied w the ending :’) but what i wanted to show in sukuna’s engagement is this topic you guys might’ve read somehwere, where the man would usually ask the next woman in his life for marriage when he feels ‘most ready’. so he could be with someone for 10 years and not get married, and then jump onto the next relationship for 2 months and immediately feel like he’s ready to be tied down. that’s kinda how it went for him. but still, he acknowledges that yn was the right person wrong time.

and yes, yn is in a relationship with bc!satoru. but since there was no proper closure between her and sukuna, she was unable to control her feelings around him. by the end of bc, she definitely let go of their past now, and she’s fully ready to commit to satoru.

(gaaaah let me just add bc!sukuna was so fun for me to write abt bc my irl bf is also a biker and i’m his proud backpack lollll he’s also looking to get an r1 soon 🤧 i might just fulfill my bc fantasy there)

now for sy! the reason miscommunication happens between gojo and yn a lot is bcos they’re so scared of being hurt and ‘not chosen’ to the point where they’d just not hear the other person out. i think this specifically points to yn bcos she just has that perception that everything gojo does will always end up hurting her, so she’s just not trying to hear it anymore regardless of what he has to say 😅

anyway, this is probably my longest answer here so i’ll cut it here now. again, thank you sm for reading and supporting my fics <33

[chaifootsteps]

*sighs* Hello, Chai, this is Metallica Anon with a bit of a lengthy post. 🤘

It's been a while since you last heard from me. Mainly because I've been busy with life, getting sick with the flu earlier this month, and often times coming onto your Tumblr when the ask box is locked.

Last time you heard from me, I told you I was going to see Metallica live that weekend. I did... twice. I'll make the Metallica gushing brief. Both shows were fantástica and they had different setlists with no repeated songs. They even played "Leper Messiah" on the Friday show... which segways into the main subject of this rant.

Yep, I'm ranting about Viv again. More specifically, I have this issue involving her... *ahem*

Why can't I move on from her and her shows?!

Why am I still thinking about vile woman and her shit-shows? Why am I still reading fanfics and viewing or even commissioning fanart of her shows? Why am I still even dreaming about her shows?! It's like my mind is forever clouded in a thick red smog. I honestly can't fathom how I let myself become a fan of this demon drivel for four years. Granted, I did manage to break away, but the damage has been done. Right now, I'm feeling like Pearl from Steven Universe.

♪ It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on? ♪

I mentioned this to you before when S1 ended (which I still refuse to watch), but the one thing that Viv did that really detonated the H-bomb inside me was the twist of Vaggie being a former exterminator. I endured a lot of her shit, but somehow this was the final straw for me with Viv. Why? Was it because of its plot-hole laden ridiculousness? Was it because I perceived it as Viv sucking the fandom's dick by implementing fan theories into her show? Was it because it made me foolish that I didn't see this twist coming? I think the answer is all three, though mostly the fandom dick sucking part.

What's sadder is that I've had a similar experience with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Hell, it was late 2019 that I officially sent MLP:FIM to the glue factory while checking into the Hazbin Hotel. I guess history really does repeat itself. 😔

I know I've thanked you a lot, Chai, but I still feel the need to thank you for all you do. Frankly, you're the only person I feel comfortable talking to about my issues with Viv, despite the fact that we're likely thousands of miles apart. I'm actually terrified of mentioning anything Hellaverse related to my family or friends. Mainly because they would most likely not understand what I'm talking about, or I might inadvertently turn them into fans. 😬

Wowie-Kazowie, that was a load off of me being hard on myself. It's probably longest ask I ever sent you. Now I shall close this rant with a Metallica reference...

Viv, I dub thee unforgiven. 🖕

Hey, I get it, especially the dreaming part! It's annoying as hell, but you can't just switch off something that meant a lot to you...not when the quality dips or when the creator turns out to be an asshole, not even when it hurts you. The love stays with you forever, like HPV.

That's awesome that you got to see Metallica twice, though! At least the universe threw you that bone to make up for it.

[lycheedr3ams]

little blog announcement

TLDR: my könig fanfics from here on out will be focused on discovering his character rather than porn

rant below the cut

before you read this, just look into his eyes for a moment. are you seeing what i'm seeing? the pain and hardships he went through? the years of training and going to bed with broken bones and bruises and a bloody nose? the tears he cried alone because he had no one? can you see how many times he had to pick himself up because he was the only one he had? can you see the man who didn't get to live his dream, who couldn't be the one thing he wanted to be?

i have been thinking a lot about könig's character, story, personality, etc., and i've decided that i want to dedicate my fanfictions moving forward (for the most part) to things that only really make sense for his character. so, this means no porn without plot from me anymore.

there is so much porn without plot out there for könig, and i'm far from the best smut writer. there is an abundance of porn for könig, but far, far less fanfictions (even fewer halfway good ones) that actually have to do with his character. i don't mean disrespect to any fanfic writer, but i'm just very tired of the mischaracterization of könig. the same thing happens to ghost's character too, and several blogs have also posted about these mischaracterization issues.

yeah, some people might say this take is "too deep" or "it's not that serious", but i feel very connected to könig since i am similar to him in a lot of ways (obviously not in terms of being a killer lol). i have spent a lot of time lately just thinking about his character, and the more i think about him, the more i realize that there is so fucking much that most fanfic writers are missing about könig.

yes, we all love könig's accent, height, cock, and everything else that makes him sexually attractive. but what about the little boy who was bullied his whole life, who never had any friends, the one who dropped out of high school to join the army? the one who worked his way up from nothing to become a fierce and respected soldier? after all the porn without plot is said and done, what thoughts go through könig's mind at the end of the day? how does he interact with others? my point being, i want to dedicate my blog more to understanding his character. if you want könig porn without plot, there are many other blogs to find that from. I AM NOT SAYING PORN WITHOUT PLOT IS INHERENTLY BAD! Just that I don’t want to contribute to it.

I will still have porn without plot on my blog, but i will not be writing it myself.

this doesn't mean that i won't post könig porn. oh fuck no, i will have könig porn, but it will be in the context of a story and his character overall than just porn without plot. now, i might break this rule here and there if i have a really good idea, but i'd like to stick as close to my new personal rule as possible. i'm still going to finish the death's angel AU, and i will still be taking requests for butcher!könig cuz that AU is just so good.

but other than that, i seriously want to dedicate this blog to truly understanding könig: to getting under his skin and picking his brain and figuring out who he is behind the hood, who he is other than an austrian military sex symbol many of us - myself included - have made him out to be

if you disagree or don't like this, just don't interact. no need to be hateful. you'll get blocked if you're rude :)

[og-danny-dorito]

Would it be possible to request a hc of ghost who’s fwb with reader and he catches feelings like how he’d go abt that👀

hello!! sorry about the late response, but of course!! this is. VERY badly written and i ended up getting carried away and making it kind of like a fic so please be warned. i've hit a writing block recently so that's why it sucks 🚶

[ Ghost Catching Feelings For His "Friend With Benefits" ]

TW: mentions of sexual content. minors do not interact. small text included in post (warning for my visually impaired readers).

The relationship you and ghost have is very uhh... complicated. To say the least.

its not like no one's heard of the "friends with benefits" situation at some point in their lives, but he never really thought he'd be involved in something like that

it's even more of a shocker when he starts noticing that he wants a little more than the body that he's learned like the back of his hand

to be more specific, he wants your company. and regardless of whatever logical train of thought might go on in anyone else's head, to him that's a problem

ghost is very task oriented. when he starts to realize that he's developing feelings for you, he's going to do everything in his power to stop it

which means he's going to start avoiding you (rip)

usually he sticks around for a little bit after your little "meetups" are done, but ya'll start going back to square one with him just disappearing after he's done cleaning you up

the meetings start dwindling down in frequency and, eventually, to zero

it hurts your feelings, of course, but you know him well enough to know that he's not very confrontational when it comes to emotions and he's either lost interest in you or wants to stop for some other unknown reason

you won't pressure him to speak, but the fact that he doesn't even have the balls to tell you to your face pisses you off enough that you end up coming to his quarters one day after you get back from a mission

your blood is already boiling hot from the adrenaline of almost having you and 5 of your comrade's blown to bits, the fuel of not being able to take your energy out in the "usual" means fueling you enough to go banging on his door at an ungodly hour of the morning

only you didn't actually expect the door to swing open and reveal the very man you were only half searching for. and it doesn't look like he expected you either.

there's a long beat of silence where it doesn't really look like either of you know what to say, but you eventually speak up after searching his eyes for any sort emotion to go off of.

"Where the fuck have you been these past few weeks?!"

his stunned silence gives you plenty of room to rant at him about how upset you are that he ghosted you (pun fully intended im hilarious i know), not knowing what's been up with him and how HORRIBLE his communication skills are, how he didn't even have the balls to say that he didn't find you attractive anymore-

but you can barely get the rest of the words out before he pulls you into his room with a clean swoop and shuts the door behind him, throwing you off your balance enough to fall onto his cot with a guttural "hough!"

but you only have enough time to get your bearings before he sends you that look

yes, that look. like he's waiting for you to be ready to listen to what he has to say, arms folded against his chest as he stands in front of the door like he's guarding it

and after enough of a pause of silence for you to catch your breath and give him enough of an irritated but intent stare, he speaks

"I never said I didn't want you anymore. I didn't say anything. It was on purpose."

your eye twitches a little bit, sitting up with a groan. your muscles are already aching from the day but being thrown around certainly didn't make it better

"I... I didn't want to cross any lines. Found myself wanting more than just your mouth on me and got cold feet. Got nervous."

it's almost kind of odd how unsure he sounds, but you've seen this uncertainty in him before

he gets this way when he talks about something he thinks you'd like, or when you can see that you said something that made him want to laugh but he isn't letting himself do it

it's restraint, and you can see from the tightness in his shoulders that there's a lot of things that he wants to say that he isn't letting himself verbalize

but you choose to be patient with him, and sit up fully to lean against the wall and place your hands in your lap, waiting.

the silence between you eventually prompts you to speak, and you can't help the crease of confusion that furrows between your brows

"What are you saying? You uh... want me to... what do you want?"

the words make him stiffen a little, and for a second you can see his eyes flicker over you

it's something like desire, something you've sen a thousand times before in one of the many endeavors where he pursued you into some abandoned storage room in the base or played the game of cat and mouse that eventually lead into one of your personal quarters

only this time he looks more focused on your emotions and how you're processing the situation as if he's expecting you to figure it out on your own

aaand eventually the pieces start to click together. you don't... understand everything, but you get the idea of what he's saying to you

he wants you

not just your body, but you. as a person. it's something that burns slow as a realization, the flames making your neck and face heat up as you process what's going on

"You like me?"

his tone is soft when he responds. "More than that, love."

and so you sit in silence for a bit before he makes his move towards you

he's cautious at first, as if offering an opening for you to back out if you want, then goes in for the kill

you spend the night together like you have many times before, but somehow it feels different this time. more exposed, in a way.

he still doesn't take off his mask tonight, but over time he ends up getting more comfortable with it and makes an effort to remove it on occasion

like a lot of things in your relationship, the process of revealing himself both physically and emotionally is slow since this is almost entirely uncharted territory for him

he still struggles with feeling like he doesn't really deserve you or is somehow holding you down, but he barely ever verbalizes these thoughts since they reveal a more vulnerable side of him that he barely lets anyone else see

but even though it takes time, progress reveals that he's an incredibly caring lover and speaks with his actions where his words fail him

that and he's really possessive. but he was before you two were an item anyway so it doesn't change much

it's just that now he's a lot more open with his displeasure of others rather than having to resort just tracking them like a hawk from across a room or something

but overall i think that he'd be very tentative in going about actually establishing a relationship with you, but he loosens up later on and finds himself genuinely feeling safe with you and trusting you almost entirely

© ogdannydorito 2022; reblogs are greatly appreciated! do not repost, republish, or generally plagiarize any of my works without permission. translations welcome with proper credit.

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

31st august 2024, saturday

day 6/50 productivity challenge

also pls don't mind me just switching format styles for these posts every other day, i want to see what i prefer the most. i think i prefer the previous ~going through the day chronologically~ typa format more, lets me rant more lol.

🕒 7:00 a.m.

academic

completed chemistry classwork (in school, stuff i missed on tuesday)

made notes psychology ch-1: what is psychology?

started making ppt for biology seminar

body

morning skincare

showered

walked for an hour (caught up with a friend in my apartment who's also in 11th, i haven't talked to him since just after board results came out. i seem to have been misjudging a lot of people lately but also i can see that the both of us have grown in mindset and i feel so much more comfortable talking to him now. rant incoming!! there was this certain incident that happened way back in the first half of 2023 and i realized that my apartment friends were actually quite homophobic/transphobic. it was more a bigotry born out of ignorance & the 'phobes pushing lies than anything but that was a time that i had just figured out my sexuality. now listen it's not my job to fix ppl or anything. but after talking to him today i realize he's actually quite a nice person but social media algorithms have shown all the wrong things. UNLIKE with the other two people in the ~incident~ who are just.. ugh can't describe them (in a bad way).. anyways me & him have a lot of values that align and he is open to listening. he knew about me being queer when i was still questioning and though he reacted in a way i didn't like, it didn't change our relationship or dynamic. maybe he just forgot, i only made a passing remark that i thought i was bi after all. anyways, i feel comfortable opening up to him about some stuff so i think i might properly come out to him one day too. maybe right before leaving for college but that's like 2 years away lol. but if the past few months have taught me anything, it's that i'm growing up and i should hold on to the friends who value me and listen to my opinions. friends make your life so much richer and i've never been the best at making them. i don't have many friends but the ones i do, i want to cherish. he is not perfect in anyway whatsoever but quite thoughtful for a 15yr old cishet boy)

other

extended duolingo streak (b4 school)

practiced playing keyboard

read newspaper: times of india

folded laundry

🕒 2:00 a.m.

[shiny-jr]

Okay I've just been my lurker self the whole time so now I'm extremely late to the party but I just have to say sth bc personally contrary to my expectations rather than Pomfiore I really loved the Scarabia result a lot. Well I guess the ending messed with it a bit for me personally bc I just can't imagine it ending in a satisfying way no matter what, but anything up until then? JUICY you literally had me at the edge of my seat the whole time the tension between everyone was SOO good it felt like really. Exciting? Reading it honestly

I'm not good with wording things like this so I wish I could just beam by feelings and experiences into your brain so you can Understand but like. It was an absolutely amazing read and I can't believe so many people have and continue to brush past it

Like yeah I didn't expect it esp bc so far I don't think I ever came across anything centered around the Scarabia guys that didn't just make me feel extremely neutral but it might just be my fav so far. Rotating in my brain regularly.

(also on that note PLEASE post the results here too unless I somehow missed that!!! I need them in my Tumblr collection to re-read)

Okay passionate 4am rant over thank you for your time. Also yeah I'm extremely tired so I just wanted to add that i hope this doesn't come across as me not liking the other stuff or sth bc I absolutely LOVE it. Your writing in general but esp damnation it's so so good okay byeee back to my hermit existence I go

Seriously? Well, I'm glad people are still enjoying Scarabia. As I mentioned before, Scarabia along with Octavinelle are the two results I am not particularly proud of. But they're there. They're a thing. They exist. Out of all the results thus far, Scarabia gave me the most trouble with by far. There were just a lot of obstacles and pauses when writing that particular result, as it was actually the only result thus far that I had to rewrite.

Unfortunately, the Scarabia duo always get bypassed for other dorms, which is really unfortunate because their relationship and chemistry is very intriguing. I don't think I portrayed that all too well to be honest.

Anyways, all the results thus far on already on Tumblr. The only ones that are missing are Ignihyde and Diasomnia, because they are currently still in the works. But the progress with those two seem to be going pretty steady, actually, faster than anticipated. At this rate if it continues like this, I'll have both results ready in time for the next milestone. But that's far ahead in the future, so I'm currently not too worried about that at the moment.

Thank you very much for your words, anon! I really appreciate it. I hope you did end up finding the results on Tumblr alright, but just know that they're there already. Check the masterlist if you are having trouble finding them, or just send me a dm and I'll be glad to send a link.

[moonstruckdraws]

Sage & Luci

As said before, I want this to be a QPR & I spent a while relearning what I already knew to double check myself lol. I still find these to be so fun because of the flexibility this kind of relationship has & I'm excited to explore it.

Sage is the more physically affectionate out of the two

I just love size differences lol. Luci isn't really one to ramble unless it's to rant, but she does it with Sage. She feels like she can say anything to her & Sage will being paying attention to everything. Sage is quite the bubbly person, but often enjoys listening to people instead of speaking.

Nicknames! Luci doesn't like romantic pet names. She either cringes or feels dead inside when addressed that way. In an ask Helli made to me, I said that Luci likes drinking floral teas & then it came to me; Sage addresses Luci by whatever tea she drinks that day. I thought it was so cute!! Luci would get tea from Bao's tea shop every so often & would probably be where she & Sage meet up. On days that Sage is either late or days Luci comes into the tea shop without planning on meeting up, I think it'd be funny if Sage just bursts into the shop to interrogate Bao on what tea Luci drank that day lmao.

Sage is gloooowing. I just wanted more color on the page lol. But moths are attracted to light, so when Luci learned Sage is bioluminescent, she was beyond excited & thought it was so cool. Seeing the colors & brightness made Luci come up with nicknames for Sage. She calls her a nightlight, at first in a joking manner before it stuck.

I think it'd be best to talk about Luci's view & opinions of romance, and then her & Sage's partnership so imma do that-

I don't believe I've said this fun fact yet, but Luci watches romance shows & movies practically constantly. If someone wants to watch anything romance, Luci will have a recommendation. She started watching romance because of the relationships around her. I think it's not a secret that Luci is friendless & isn't exactly the best at socializing. Her interactions with people or reselling/buying others' stuff, shouting at said customers when they tick her off, or hating people (cough Pico & Todd cough). The only time she gets along with others is during DIGG concerts (another fun fact is that she's a giga fan of them) when jamming out with people in the crowd. So, as said in Luci's introduction post, she meets Bao by going to his tea shop after being extremely heated. Making Bao her first friend. Of course, that leads to her learning Bao & Pico are together. The only other people in a relationship she'd know of would be Warren & Hypno, because of Repo. It'd leave her puzzled on the subject of a lover. She knows people date & get married & all that, but actually knowing people who are is a shock to her. Like knowing something exists but not really registering it until you've seen it in person. While trying to wrap her head around it, she sees a show playing on the TV Repo left on, it being romance. She'd take this as an opportunity to figure this strange concept & it turned into her binging and watching a bunch of them. Through watching romance is how she'd find out things that were cringe or confusing to her, & things that peaked her interest. (I think she'd just ask Bao straight up, "Why the f*ck are you dating?" That'd probably be her reaction to the news lmao in the sense of "Why Pico?" but also just "Why?")

Repo never talked about romance with Luci unless she asked, and with the lack of people she's around, she never dealt with being questioned on her interest in others & having that expectation of needing to find someone. So that kind of relationship has never been on her mind. What she's interested in, from all the shows & films, interactions she's seen, and by pure description has been the intimacy of those close relationships. It's more of a second thought that might appear time to time when watching romance that'd linger. But aside from that, she doesn't care for any of the rest.

Luci is not an affectionately giving partner that likes receiving attention. With the way she's raises & how she views Repo, she always liked getting attention. The way she grew up also made her not the most considerate person in the world unless it was for Repo (later on others), so she isn't the most showy with affection. She shows affection with others, aside from Repo, by just her presence. Even if she just doesn't talk, her being there with someone is her way of showing care. Sage loves expressing her affection through words. She may not talk as much in a conversation, but when giving praise or compliments, those are likely to make that person be in a good mood for the rest of the day. She likes making people feel good, it's a reason she's an herbalist. She manages to say all the right words & takes pride in that. They do standard cuddles & head resting and is pretty much all they do. They like to go on outings, Sage more than Luci, or just sitting around doing nothing. But they do have this thing with holding hands. They hold hands a lot when doing just about anything, but Sage would always reach for Luci's second pair of arms. And that Luci would never be the one to let go of hands, it'd always be Sage who'd have to do it & I just thought it was sweet lol.

okay that's enough rambling for me lol

[luckyfailuregirl]

Okay I think it's time I finally do an intro post

Hello world!! My name's Lucky :]

Or Mila/Milamarie, but I prefer either of the shorter two.

Things I am:

-Genderfluid (I use any pronouns - my pronouns page!!)

-Aroace

-An artist, mostly draws my own ocs nowadays (I don't color often sadly, I'm not confident enough in it)

-A very slow poster,,,, But I'm trying to share my stuff more often!!

-A yapper, most of my posts are really long 💔💔

-The owner of @luckyisgirlfailing ^^

-Accepting doodle requests!! (If you want me to draw your own character, please know that I may take a while and as a human, I may mess up, but I'll try my best !!)

-A MINOR also, so don't be weird anywhere near any of my posts, please and thank you

Speaking of that...

‼️‼️DNI‼️‼️:

-Homophobic and transphobic people, proshippers, NSFW accounts, etc. along those lines, and generally rude and unsupportive people. If you're any of these, distance yourself from my blog.

Insert smooth transition into other topics here/j

My current interests/hyperfixations:

-Pressure (roblox), Phighting (also roblox), IdentityV, OFF, Honkai Star Rail, and My Hero Academia!! I have some other interests on the backburner rn, but these are the main ones I've been thinking about a lot ^^

-All things considered though, I am currently working through burnout so I don't create much art of said interests unless I feel like it, but it will be posted here eventually once I feel like I have enough media for people to be satisfied with !!!

About the tags I'll be using from here on out:

A lot of my posts at the time of writing this just have general tags, nothing specific to my blog yet, because I've been waiting until I could actually make an intro post. But! From now on, I'll be using the tags listed here for my things :)

#[the luckygirl's delineation!] - art !!! that included anything related to my writing :3

#[the luckygirl's syndrome!] - ranting/random stuff!! (side note: my name did not come from the syndrome/TikTok thing at all actually 😭😭 I've been using this name since I was like 7, I'm just using that term now as a play on words in my tags)

#luckyfailuregirl - for anything including my OC/SONA, not me (others can use this tag too since it's a character tag!!)

#gods of lore and headcanons talking to me!!! - tag meant specifically for one of my great friends :]

#reblogs - self explanatory

A quick explanation of my sona/OC of the same name:

If some of you have seen my oc Lucky (full title being LuckyFailureGirl), you might be a bit confused on why my main blog is titled that and my RP blog for her is a separate play on words ( @luckyisgirlfailing ). Your confusion completely understandable!! To elaborate though, "LuckyFailureGirl" has always been a username of mine across platforms, so I used that when I came to Tumblr. When I finally wanted to make a blog for Lucky themselves, I realized it was kind of too late,,, and I had to come up with a different title for her blog, but that doesn't change her official title or name. He is my sona/oc, and we share the same name and pronouns, but she also has a very different personality from me at times. She's not really a good person, but she's not meant to be super edgy either!!! You can find more information on her background on her blog, or you can ask me about them. I love talking about my ocs!!!

Anyways! I think that's all I have to say for now. Enjoy your stay, all :]

[jessenitrogen]

If you are still accepting Bulkjack requests, how about Bulkhead taking care of an injured Wheeljack?

YES IM DEFINITELY STILL TAKING BULKJACK REQUESTS IVE BEEN A LIL SLOW LATELY AN E WAYS

THIS TOOK A LOT LONGER THAN IT SHOULDVE OH GOD

no dialogue in the first two pages bcuz i didnt like it plus had to change the original dialogue I was gonna use but I might use it later

personally dont think this turned out the best but, bonus points cuz I'm getting in comic making practice and any bulkjack art is a win for me sO, hope ya like it somewhat atleast!!

A bit more info and just me going on a lil rant basically here aYUP

FIRST TWO PAGES, Wheeljack can turn his arms into blasters if he needs to but, is using a gun instead because it's some type of immobilizer (doesnt keep anyone immobilized for long, used to apprehend aggressive cybertronians) since the point of the mission that both he and Bulkhead were on they were not to hurt anyone, just to stop whatever skirmish was happening at the time

THE TWO CYBERTRONIANS in the background are my characters, and are two of a triplet group. they're not autobot or decepticon but they are acting on orders from someone else here.

CARRIE is also another one of my characters. I've drawn her and posted her here bfore actually ehehehe

[unlirise]

🖋️ 240527 • mon

i wanted to start off this week with something productive. ive already gotten into a rough start by waking up late. i should be stricter with myself so that i can get things done on time. a week of productivity should not be followed by a week of the opposite. especially when it's easy to get carried away by relaxation and other leisurely activities.

to start it off, i did some journaling and decided to put a bit more effort into its layout and composition. later when i get back from my haircut, i'm hoping to make even more progress on my thesis.

ik ive been saying this over and over, maybe i should have a visual tracker so that i can see how much it's moving as well as to actually motivate me to finish it off. the revisions are done but because of the changes in my methodology i might have to make changes to the instrument. these are taking quite some time... especially since i'm doing this thesis solo and research isn't exactly my strongest suit.

rant ahead if you want to keep reading

i'm kinda excited to get my haircut, though. i wish i could say i was very excited but i can't enjoy it because of how controlling my parents are abt it.

not to trauma dump on the internet but it's my blog so here goes. my parents are kinda being dumb about me wanting to cut my hair. i initially wanted a bixie cut that was similar to winona ryder's. when i asked my mom (yes, i have to ask permission to cut my hair bc i'm not paying for it and i'm using their money for it), she was quick to make it all about my sexuality (i'm pan). she even ranted to my grandma about it. so i'm getting a layered bob cut instead, but my parents are adamant that i go to this family friend hairdresser so that he can advise me (?) on how to cut and maintain it (??) so that it looks good on the graduation pictures (???????). that threw me off bc the reasons why i want to cut my hair are:

it's flipping hot, my guy, the humidity isn't giving my hair gets so brittle and dry. ik i can just tie my hair up but sometimes i don't want to bc i need it to breathe. but i don't want to have to feel my hair act as a towel, collecting my nape sweat.

i never liked having long hair. it's too much work for me. the constant hair brushing, the longer showers, the long hair drying, and the long strands getting everywhere? i've never been able to properly take care of long hair. i prefer shorter hair bc it's easier to maintain and easier to style. and personally, i think it suits me so much more.

but my parents want me to keep my hair long for a bunch of graduation pictures that i won't even be taking right now since i'm not graduating this year.

and my mom? i don't understand but ever since i came out as pan to her, she never truly made steps to understand what that means. ugh, idk. might make a long post abt this sometime in the future.

[kiiyome-art]

I've been thinking a lot about destiny lately, and how I want to go about writing and drawing out my warlock, Vienna's, story, now that the light and dark saga is coming to a close. I was a bit late to the destiny scene, all things considered, and between my creative struggles and (trying) to be a functional human being, I've not created as much as id have liked to. So come along with me on my little rant as I think allowed my thoughts, if you feel so inclined.^^

There's still so much I want to write, and stories to tell within the destiny universe.

I started playing the game during season of the plunder, when my friends introduced me to it, and we became a glorious fireteam! I was drawn to the pretty warlock space magic immediately, and thus, Vienna was born. ( Though I've since become a hunter main, she's still my favorite blorbo. )

I quickly fell in love with the story and it's characters, dug deep into the lore and since then, her story has gone through a LOT of changes. I try to stick close to the canon story for the most part, in my universe Vienna is the young wolf who was risen in D1, and has since gone through most of what we see throughout the dlcs and seasons past then, I'll probably elaborate on that further at one point.

Most of my drawings that I've posted here are fun little doodles, occasional quips between characters, and overall "for fun" stuff. The majority of what I've thought up for Vienna has been confined to my own head and the rare rants to my friends. And now with final shape being so close, I feel myself pressured to know, and write down, everything that I can. Which, realistically, is silly.

I had plans to make a three minute animatic of Vienna during forsaken since it was a MASSIVE turning point for her, have it out by final shape, then make an entirely NEW animatic based off OF final shape, mostly inspired by Caydes return. Whilst I had mapped out most of it and gotten some rough sketches down, I didn't even begin on the actual project. Could I have? Probably. Do i feel guilty about it? Yes. Will those projects still happen? Hopefully.

I know for all you creatives out there that might be reading this, the feeling of having plans, and not being able to carry through with them, or it not turning out how you wanted, is a shitty feeling, not foreign to ANY of us.

I felt myself compelled to write this in the first place because I know that, well, I'm not alone.

There's many creatives out there feeling the same pressure to get stuff done as I am, even if we don't say it. We want to have everything figured out, to create something wonderful, with the final shape feeling like "the end" of destiny as we know it and all. So this is me calling out to whoever might be listening; be nicer to yourself.

You have all the time in the world to create that animation, paint that painting, write that story. Just because final shape is "an ending," doesn't mean you can't still work on and have fun with the story beats you have in mind prior to Final Shape. No ones gunna call it silly, were all equally starved for content here. And who knows, once we all know how final shape ends, it might inspire you and help your story flow together better.

I'll try my best to tag my posts relating to Vienna and her fireteam with time stamps from now on, as I tend to jump all over the place and it could get really confusing really fast. The TLDR of it all;

Don't feel guilty about unfinished projects. Final shape isn't the end, dont let it be, and dont feel confined to just creating content relating to post final shape.

That's all! I appreciate you reading if you got this far, and im excited to see the amazing things the Destiny corner of tumblr will come up with next.

See you starside! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

[goldenkamuyhunting]

It interesting to read your analysis or meta ( even though I read it 2 am while being stress ). I want to ask since I do remember you didnt really like how the story ended Ogata, so how do you think that it might be better ? The way it end he think that he always blessed feel weird for me but I do kinda like that what he do all those time it's just that he's thinking what broken person would do. Though this might contract about my first point about he always blessed, in the end what you become is always the choice is yours not always because the aspect from other people (I do found interesting fan comic what if Yuusaku and Ogata swap place). Sorry if it's going random or you actually the answer already in one of your post. Thank you once again 💖

Sorry for the late reply, I'm glad you enjoy my meta!

As usual WARNING as this is not a Noda praising fest.

Yes, I've ranted in the past about how I didn't like how Noda handled Ogata in his last 11 volumes but I don't mind repeating it.

The whole 'Ogata was ALWAYS blessed because maybe for a moment Hanazawa loved his mother' felt like very poorly constructed.

The ability to feel guilt isn't tied to your parents loving each other or not, but to plenty of other factors... and anyway it's pretty difficult to prove Hanazawa ever loved his mother and it wasn't just in Tome's head and he merely wanted her for sex.

We heard how Hanazawa spoke of her, without a shred of love.

I don't know if this is due to something in Japanese culture but to me, tying Ogata's ability to feel guilt to Hanazawa loving his mother feels like tying two completely unrelated things together, a leap in logic I can't follow.

I'm not sure how, at this point, the story could have handled Ogata. He was left useless for 10 volumes and then the last gave contraddicting info on his past and, basically, ends with a repeated the situation on Vol 19 only to have Ogata kill himself. At this point it was better to murder him on Vol 19 because... beyond the fact he was a popular character, the story had no need for him to survive (same as Vasily, really).

It's something I stated back then in Vol 19, I was interested in Ogata, I liked him as a character, because he was interesting. The moment Noda made him uninteresting because he gives 0 contribute in carrying on the plot, I see no point in having him in the story.

Not even his death affects the plot because in the end he murders himself on his own so the guilt for his death doesn't truly befall on Asirpa and whatever wound he gave to Sugimoto is of no consequence to the battle nor is his stalling them.

The most he did was to cause the drivers of the train to die (in the magazine version)/to escape (in the volume version).

Both moves feel stupid as he ends up on a train no one is driving when he could have just said he was one of Tsurumi's men and went aboard just the same (he's wearing an army uniform).

But Noda needed the drivers to get off so he used him to do so, though everything else would have been fine. They could have been distracted by the explosion and this would have allowed the bear to end up on the train and the bear could have caused them to escape.

It would have made more sense.

So my options to make the whole thing better are two: either write him off in Vol 19/20 or rewrite the last 11 volumes to give him a role in them. As the second option is way too complex and would end up creating a different GK I think the first one is the best one.

Let Ogata die in Vol 19/20, the story doesn't need him anymore and his faceoff with Asirpa back then had more impact than the last one.

His death could be used to push forward the discussion if it's all right to kill or not instead than... just happening.

And if Asirpa really need to show she's willing to kill someone to save Sugimoto she can shoot/try to shoot a arrow at Tsurumi instead than just aim at him and not shoot.

On a final note... GK wasn't a story about the importance of your choices but since this is still very discussed in the fandom, I want to toss in that the idea that we become what we chose is an over simplification.

What we become is the result of a combination of genetic, education, opportunities and personal choices.

We can make our choices solely among the opportunities we're offered, which might be plenty or just few or none at all, and we decide according to our physical/mental abilities and knowledge and understanding of the world.

Ogata had clearly a flawed understanding of the world due to the way he'd been raised, and a very limited number of choices due to his social and economical background.

His chances of becoming a second lieutenant like Yuusaku are so low they can as well not exist, his chances to get Hanazawa to love him are even less.

Ogata couldn't choose to become (someone like) Yuusaku, even if he wanted to. That choice was never on the table.

And, since his understanding of the world was flawed and he never managed to correct it, he took some objectively VERY BAD decisions to try to become someone he would never be allowed to become and, without even realizing, made his situation even worse instead than improving it.

GK though, wasn't the sort of story that was interested in this kind of aspect so, if you like stories that instead dig more into personal choices and their consequences, I recommend reading "Umineko no naku koro ni" (the manga as the anime is SO HORRIBLE they never finished it and the last chapter of the visual novel was poorly handled and Ryukishi basically rewrote it for the manga version).

Just keep in mind it's a mystery horror with some gruesome scenes... though since there are gruesome scenes in GK too, those might be not a problem.

Thank you for your ask and sorry again for the late reply!

[thatuselesshuman]

Good lord I ranted again

As per usual, don't read if you want my regularly scheduled silly content

Does anyone else feel like they're fading into obscurity?

Now that may seem like a weird question to ask but lately I've been feeling like I'm being left behind in just about everything. Life is moving too fast and I'm moving too slow.

Don't get me wrong, I can't really complain about my life being terrible because I have it pretty good. I'm getting my masters degree on a scholarship so I won't have any debt once I leave. I'm able to provide by myself and rent an apartment in this economy. I have an internship/job at a government organization that almost guarantees me a high-paying job. I'm able to share my stories and my art with the people of Tumblr and they're always so nice to me.

Objectively, my life is great.

So why do i feel like I'm drowning in a way?

It's probably because when you're succeeding, that sets a new bar and you're no longer allowed to fall below that bar once again. I have to do good in my classes or else I'll lose my scholarship. I can't take a day off from my internship or I feel like I may be seen as not committed. I have to post and I have to always interact or the community I've built around me will crumble like a house of cards in my absence.

And where in that equation does rest factor in? I've done the math and I'm so damn tired because it doesn't. I guess that's the root of it all. I'm tired and I don't know how to stop working. I can't take a rest or everything I hold dear will fall like sand through my fingers and I'll be left with only me.

That may seem highly dramatic but I've seen evidence and I've taken it as fact. I can't stop myself from believing it even as I know that one day off won't destroy everything I've built. I can't guilt people into staying with me and I don't want to. I want to be seen as worthy not because I force it but because they actually like what I bring.

My father once told me that I needed to not be so afraid of failure. His reasoning was that I'm not perfect. While I get his point, I think that the reason explains the fear quite easily. I've never thought I was perfect, and that's why I can't be constantly aware of how I might fail. If I thought I was perfect, I obviously wouldn't try so hard to make sure everything works as it should. I wouldn't be nearly as tired as I am right now if I was perfect.

I think the reason I feel like I'm fading into obscurity is because I'm failing to be the person I want to be seen as. I want to be seen as a silly, unserious person who just likes to joke around because I am that person 99% of the time.

But we all have the tendency to see people as the 1% instead of the 99%. People would much rather see me as the rant I wrote after I got out of the shower instead of the smile I have on my face during the rest of my life. People would rather see me as 'girl who feels failure' than the girl who gets a virus every time she tries to find a webnovel, or as the girl who loved to play soccer, or as the girl who suddenly decided one that she was going to win a math competition and won it in 2 days.

People would rather dumb me down to the feelings I have in my worst moments to make me more relatable than accept that I am a happy person who sometimes needs a break.

And hey, maybe I'm not failing. Maybe this rant makes no damn sense and this is all just word vomit (highly probable). Maybe I need to stop taking my shit so seriously. Maybe I should just stop talking.

[ghost-proofbaby]

GHOOOOST as much as maroon has taken over every single brain cell of mine, i can’t seem to stop thinking about 24 hours!eddie and reader lately! they still got me on a chokehold!

i was just thinking, like in the long run, were they endgame? i know they’re head over heels for each other but like.....are they in it for the long haul? what would happen if like the topic of getting married or having kids was brought up, how are they both going to react? 👀

i’m not asking or forcing you to write a blurb out of this or anything so please don’t feel pressured, i’m genuinely just curious about their lore!!! 😭 and i also miss them so much lmao might end up re-reading the series again while waiting for the next maroon chapter ❤️❤️❤️

anyway i luv u and i hope you’re having a great day!

wanna know a secret? they definitely still live rent free in my mind as well.

they were definitely end game in the long haul of things. in my mind, it's actually funny, because i've thought about them watching their friends constantly getting into relationships and those relationships constantly ending, and yet they're still there and going strong as ever while everyone is just like "...what the fuck?"

nancy and johnathan would probably end up breaking up in the twenty four hours universe. that's actually canon based on a sequel idea i had. like, we're talking not very long after the events of the main fic. nancy would go to reader and probably rant in the midst of her heartbreak "i just don't get it. i thought me and johnathan - we were gonna make it, you know? i thought we had the perfect relationship. and, no offense, but compared to you and eddie, we did." (which she obviously doesn't mean, but she's just hurt and projecting. we all know nancy was a number one reader x eddie shipper). and reader could grow insecure about it and overthink, but when she ends the day getting to gossip all about it to eddie, he just scoffs and said "excuse me? what the hell does that mean? out of spite, we're definitely gonna end up growing old together. gonna mock them from across the retirement home as i kiss all your wrinkles. that'll show them." and she's just reminded that, oh, yeah. it doesn't matter what other people think. this is her idiot for the long haul. and spoiler: it isn't spite keeping them together. it's the way eddie looks at reader like she painted the night sky just for him. it's the way eddie is the first person reader wants to talk to in nearly every scenario, the way he's the first person her eyes draw to in every room no matter how crowded. they bicker endlessly, they aren't always acting the most lovesick and nauseatingly affectionate with each other in front of others, and there's certainly been plenty of fights where the gang holds their breath for the announcement of a breakup, but they always find a way to make it through. always. they're one of those couples, ya know?

and i could also ramble about the whole marriage/kid discussion, but i actually had a short one shot about it i wanted to write! i think i've avoided posting any of the excess content i had planned for them because i don't want to beat a dead horse, you know? it's been over a year now, and even though i love and adore them, i don't want to seem like i'm milking that universe haha. if that's something y'all would like to see now even though it's been so long, i am finally out of my funk with writing them and could probably post some of those one shots! especially because the way they go about conversations like kids/marriage is so fuckin funny to me.

i luv you even more, and hope you have the most wonderful of days, friend <3 thank you for not letting one, but TWO??? of my stories take up residency in your thoughts. it means the world to me and i'm giving you all the hugs and forehead kisses <3