#I'm way too nervous abt this
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gigglemugger · 15 days ago
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I'm posting the first chapter of my Welsey (Megan Halsey and Herbert West, idk if there's another ship name, probably, but I'm going going this one) fanfic today. It's the only chapter I am sure of, but I'll try to get more out. So far I have 7 of them written, forty three pages in total, so yeah I went far. I'm almost done with it and I'm just gonna begin.
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pookieace · 1 year ago
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contains : princess / fem!reader, head knight!gojo, implied secret relationship. this is just... angst i guess with a sprinkle of fluff... overprotective gojo *moans* this is about 1k of brainrot word vomit hhhhhhhhhhhhh :D not proofread cause i'm lazy, pls ignore any mistakes!
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time moved by far too slow for satoru. for someone whose day passed in a blink of an eye with all of his responsibilities, today was far too slow. it felt like watching paint dry. it felt like a snail moving across the pavement. it felt like a century had passed before the bright light of the sun finally started to set. dusk slowly turning into night, and as the moon took its place in the night sky, was he able to escape from his duties and finally able to walk to your bedroom, hands held in tight fists by his sides.
"you two may leave. the king wants me to be stationed here for tonight." a lie. but the two guards didn't know any better. why would they ever think their head knight would ever lie to them in the first place.
what they don't know, won't hurt them, was what gojo told himself, watching the two salute him and proceeding to walk down the corridor far away from your bedroom. he waited till they were out of sight first and then listened out for the clunking noises the armour made as they walked down the stairs. when it was finally silent, he opened your door, shutting it behind him quickly.
you almost let out a scream at the sudden intrusion into your space. fear from the attack on your life only a night prior still too fresh in your mind. but the white mop of hair on top of the males head had you sighing in relief, aware that it was not an intruder but in fact satoru. but that relief didn't stay for too long. you were well aware that the king would have placed guards outside your door to keep you safe after what had happened and you could not afford to let your relationship with satoru be revealed just yet.
"satoru, what are you doing here? my father–" your worried whisper was cut short rather abruptly.
"fuck your father." if satoru was in a better mindset than he is now, he never would have spoken of the king, your father, in such a way and he's never been more glad there were no guards standing post outside your bedroom to judge his vulgar use of words towards the monarch either.
"are you hurt? did they touch you?" immediately, he's bombarding you with questions, eyebrows furrowed deeply as his eyes start to dart over your body. inspecting you. "would you let me have a look at you. please?"
you nod slightly, but turn your head to the right side a little, fearing what he'll do when he sees it.
his takes large but quiet strides towards you, hands that shook with fear now reaching out to hold your wrists. he inspects your skin, slowly, letting his hands and eyes travel across your skin, and it all seems fine until he brushes the strands of hair out of your face and finally notices the freshly dried blood on your cheek. it looked deep. no, it was deep. gojo was no stranger to cuts and bruises, even with a simple glance he could tell it was deep. it would leave a scar behind and it would take time to heal.
"i..." he inhales shakily, trying to keep his voice low as he could. an attempt to keep himself calm, to keep himself from lashing out. "i-i should have been there."
"satoru..." you began, only to be cut off again.
"i should have fucking been there." remorse. that's all satoru could feel. remorse for not being by your side like he had promised many moons earlier as you two hid from the maids attempting to prepare you for bed. remorse for not being by your side to keep you from harm. but hidden in that remorse, was also anger. anger that anyone even dared to touch a princess – not just any princess. his princess. the very princess that would become his queen in the future. the very princess that should have everyone in the land bowing to her. the princess he loves and swore to keep out of harms way.
"i should have fucking protected you. shit– i should have been there. i should have been protecting you like i said i would... i'm sor–"
"toru. i'm okay. please look at me." you place a gentle had over his chest, albeit over his armour, you swear you're able to feel how furiously his heart is beating. it doesn't take a genius to see all the emotions swimming in his eyes.
worry. hurt. pain. regret.
"satoru - the strongest knight in the kingdom... my favourite knight - gojo. i am okay. i promise you." the praise earns a brief smile from him before it fades, his thumb brushing the deep cut on your cheek ever so gently but it makes you inhale sharply anyway. it causes gojo to flinch, withdrawing his warm hands immediately but you reach out for his wrist with both hands desperately. "n-no! it... it jus' hurts because it's fresh... please, i just– i just need to feel you, toru. please, don't be afraid to touch me."
it was all gojo needed to hear from you. all he needed was your permission to touch you and he does. he cups your face in his hands, watching as the tension and stress leaves your body, jaw loosening and eyebrows relaxing. he watches as your eyes close for a few seconds before fluttering open. you place a kiss against the palm of his hand. "will you please stay the night with me? i'm... afraid they will come back." gojo watches you tense up at the mention of the men who tried to hurt you last night. his response is immediate.
"of course i will." his thumb finds its way to the wrinkles in the middle of your eyebrows, rubbing the spot a little. "do not frown so much. you will start looking older than you are, princess."
his teasing earns a smile from you, and he's glad when he sees you soften in his hold. the both of you stay silent for a while, finding comfort in the silence and each other. you've always felt safe with satoru, and tonight is no different.
"princess," he begins, pulling you in by your waist ever so slightly, your body pressed up against his armour. "i swear on my life, i will kill any bastard who dares lay so much as a finger on you again. i promise you. i'll execute them myself." you do not bother replying to him, instead sealing the promise he's made by standing on your tippy toes to press your lips against his.
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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rainofthetwilight · 6 months ago
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hot take I guess, but tbh I Don't Really Care abt bruise...I can 100% see why people ship it and it's cute ngl but I just don't care abt it, it never really grabbed me tbh
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fluentisonus · 2 months ago
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I think I mentioned this before in my post a little while ago abt valjean not talking, but reading the barricade section just now & he talks so little. I think the only things he says the entire time is to ask for a gun to shoot down the mattress and to ask for javert & then say he's shot him -- people talk to him plenty but he never replies. and this taken with the fact that it's such a long section without his pov at all it I feel like really shows how much of a sort of. social/communicative wall I guess? he can & does put up sometimes, and how impenetrable & unreadable (& in marius' case disconcerting) it comes across. like even we as readers who know him really well are not getting much from this at all about what he's thinking or feeling or planning, he's incredibly hard to read without that element of internality
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mishosoupy · 4 months ago
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Tobirei/Reinochi week!! This is Day 1 - Space
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teddybeartoji · 3 months ago
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i have two objectives for tomorrow and i want to do exactly Neither of them😐😐😐😐😐
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depresseddepot · 4 months ago
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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woolydemon · 2 years ago
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will I get banned if I post shirtless non top surgery transmasc ppl. will I get in trouble for that
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jankwritten · 2 years ago
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first psychiatry appointment done. feeling....weird about it.
(venting in the tags. cw for what might be transphobia but i'm not entirely sure lmao)
#vent post#tw vent post#she prescribed zoloft which alright whatever i expected that#but what got to me/rubbed me the wrong way was how she responded to me saying i was trans#she didn't ask me my pronouns or my gender identity. she jumped right into 'when did you first know you were a boy'#and i was already kind of messed up at that point (crying about other stuff) so it caught me off guard and I froze#like. i'm not a boy. i didn't say i was a boy.#but i didn't correct her and didn't get the chance to LATER because when I said 'well I figured it out in like 7th-8th grade'#she started talking about how MOST people figure out they're trans between the ages of 4-5 and how there's a lot of#''''''social pressure'''''' nowadays WHATEVER THAT MEANS??#and i was like. well okay. fuck me I guess my experiences aren't valid then??#and then she got kind of awkward about it and moved on so i never got the chance to actually. explain my gender identity#idk. the more i think about it the angrier i get. both at myself for not speaking up and her for saying that kind of shit at all#anyways i'm hoping she has nothing to do with my transition when I go to the endocrin people and talk to them abt it in July#and like she was nice and kind about pretty much everything else. it was just that one thing.#i also feel weird because i overheard the secretary guy tell somebody over the phone that she doesn't like to prescribe#stimulants even to people who have previously been diagnosed with ADHD which. ???? isn't that. the treatment for ADHD???#which makes me nervous because EYE am going to get tested for ADHD and other such potential neurodivergencies and like.#is she not going to prescribe meds for them if I do have those things?? and what if the testing comes back and I AM autistic#is she going to invalidate that too because there's so many people online who think they're autistic nowadays???#this all on top of the fact that i had a massive massive panic attack trying to find parking downtown where her office is so I was#already fraazzled and out of it going into the appointment lmao#ahem. so anyway. today has been so rough and I want to sleep for 60000 years.#OH OH OH OH AND WHEN I WAS LIKE 'yeah i took a 10mg thc gummy once but it gave me a massively bad panic attack'#she was like. 'good! I'm glad you reacted like that' and ??? what the hell? that also kinda took me aback. like. wtf??#why would you be glad that I had a panic attack so bad I almost called 911 and got myself taken to a hospital. like. hello.
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She makes me feel so fuzzy i wanna kiss her and fuck her and take care of her and hold her hand and just keep talking to her and stare at her and aaaaaahahhahhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhjkfdhskghakjgdf;klhdsjsajkjhadhkaggdk
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dnangelic · 13 days ago
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' shut up !! who's getting nervous , you hypocrite --- ?! '
this half-tone halfwit , this full-time idiot --- !
' i never said i was nervous , so i'm not ! i wasn't !! '
sure , there was this weird squiggling feeling inside of his chest , and all of him felt just one faint electric current away from having every single hair on his body standing straight up on end , but that didn't mean that he , ( the great , almighty him --- ?! ) was nervous ! maybe his --- or rather daisuke's face was just like this ! fast to flush and slow to cool , much like a hidden self's temper .
just as soon as sakura crashes back into her seat to stammer and ramble , he swiftly swipes her phone with nothing more than a grumbling give me that --- !
nothing more than a split second passes when he turns it around and points to a station on the opened map app , his glare and beet-red fluster half-hidden by the block of the screen .
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' go here , okay ?! --- and don't even bother packing , you don't need to ! '
if she wanted to bring all sorts of crap anyways , ( not that he could really imagine her towing along all that much in the first place ... ) then that would have been her decision . all he knew was that he's never packed for any of his own little slumber parties over at her apartment , planned or otherwise . shouldn't it have been enough for sakura to likewise bring nothing beyond her own self to the mansion ?
there was more too , like the way that azumano could have been just as readily reached by bus instead of train , but the latter was faster and far more comfortable despite its somewhat higher pricing , and he wouldn't hear her fuss over menial things like costs and money on the way . what emergency funds that remained in daisuke's pockets remained untouched and more than enough to cover transport , waiting for opportunities like this there they might finally feel the trade of themselves into somebody else's hands .
' ... tell whoever you have to , but don't keep me waiting . ' the words , even while seeming demanding , remain twinged with a faint grumble of a whine and plea . ( because she wouldn't have , right ? for all his apparent carelessness , for all their fast pacing , she wouldn't chicken out and abandon him halfway , would she ? )
without waiting for any more reaction , his hands press and lift him abruptly out of his own seating . he's hasty in his leave , and he doesn't look backwards as he exits to make his own way towards the station . ( what was this supposed to be , anyways ? hope ? ) getting all embarrassed over something like this , like someone like sakura , was just ---
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geeze .
‘Why wouldn’t I?’
Haruka’s got a few ideas, but for once in’er life, she shuts right up about’em; mostly because Dai’s laughin’ and she’s never not shuttin’ up to hear that, but also because anything she could think or say just... It won’t come like it normally does. Even more with his continuation, the add-on that comes after, those horrible bad ugly thoughts that normally come alongside this sorta thing don’t come up in her head. All that’s left in their place is a heated fluster and a jut-out lip.
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“‘Like that’ to ya now, huh...” She’s repeatin’ (almost dreamily) for the sake of it, just to hear it again, without having to ask him to do it. Not even knowing if she can (Would he run off if I did? Would he take it back?) and not having the confidence to try and push her luck. But it’s fine, ‘cause she’ll take what she can get—she’ll take miles off this inch and be grateful for it all the while.
When she raises her eyes again, though (she’s not even too sure when they fell, though maybe it was when she was askin’ about Azumano a second ago), and sees that he’s got his own blush on his face, hers just about quadruples and sees’er scrambling. Something, anything--whatever it is, she just needs to do it!!!
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“Y-Y-You—You bastard, don’tcha just go sayin’ shit like that!” He’s crazy, completely and utterly! Who says this kinda shit so casually!?!?! “Even if, if it’s—” if it’s true, if it’s true, but how can she know??? “You can’t—augh, you can’t get all...nervous, or whatever, too!!!”
Because that’s gotta be the reason for him, right? Though, even if it ain’t, it’s no big deal, because Haruka’s always giving her own fwump! back into’er own seat and crossing her arms over her chest again, small grumbles escaping her. Sometimes, just like Dark, she never knows what Dai’s really thinkin’ (a little weird for a guy with his heart perpetually on’is sleeve, but hey, everyone has their moments!), but this time really takes the cake! The whole thing makes her a little itchy, so unused to somethin’ like that said so...easily. Like everything he said was just supposed to be fact.
(The fact that it’s said like that at all makes her so, so happy, though—genuine joy makes her cheeks get warmer, makes her chest constrict and tighten in a way that’s both painful and nice. She knows—she knows—that everyone in Furin is happy to know her, but Dai is just...so different. He’s not Furin and he’s not Makochi, either, he’s from beyond the barrier of both. And yet, just like them, he...)
As he repeats after her, too, though, she breaks from her surprise, an eyebrow rising as she looks at him—in disbelief, in complete and utter shock.
“T—Today?? Now??? Isn’t that...!?” Ain’t that kinda soon??!!
(Is he still actin’ or somethin’!?)
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“I—I mean, there’s the break, so yeah I have some time off, an’—and I did wanna spend it with ya,” whoops, what a hell of a way to admit that; at least she’s only half payin’ attention to herself, “but I didn’t... I’ve never even been to someone else’s house?? I don’t even have anything packed?!”
Not to mention the patrols!! Almost meek, she glances over at her phone, sitting in an idle corner of the table and glinting, unyielding, in the afternoon light. Struck by this whole development, she can’t hardly remember who’s taking what patrol on which day, but maybe if she says somethin’ now, before everyone files out to do as they’ve been assigned.
...for all that she’s never been to someone else’s place, the fact that Daisuke is the first one she may get to go to is so...weird. And she’s already talkin’ about packing, like it’s a whole done-deal...!
I have, she thinks; blindly, through the haze of it all, to make a decision.
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“I’d...have to tell someone first, too...!
“But, I—I really do...”
...wanna go. I wanna go with’im, wanna see what someone else’s life looks like.
(Was this sorta thing... always so normal for others to do? Is this what normally happens...!?)
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solarlunarsstuff · 1 year ago
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·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩
☆ Headcannons With Mike Schmidt ☆
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Synopsis: This is basically abt Mike Schmidt cuz yes- (sfw and nsfw).
Tw: Dacryphilia, thigh riding, fingering, fluff n smut, switch!Mike, switch!Reader, manhandiling, orgasm denial, squirting, dumbification, and cuddling.
A/n: Abby also catches the bus in this lil drabble, ots also short I'm sorry :(, anyway. Enjoy this breedable man's hdcs!!! ♡♡
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
(SFW HDCS)
☆ First of all, you've both been friends for years, he had given you the keys to his house for the purpose of trusting you
☆ You got up early to check on him, but by that time Abby had already gotten to school by the bus
☆ You both would cuddle in the morning before he left for his agonizing night of work
☆ You would also cook for the poor man so he wouldn't be left on an empty stomach
☆ You've always remembered to give him goodbye kisses before he would start the car
☆ Once he got to work, he would always keep a picture of you in his wallet, either way, he loved how pretty you were
☆ Mike would slowly eat his lunch made from you.
☆ Every single type of affection you did to him would make him melt
☆ And once he got home he would shower you with kisses
☆ On the lips, hands, neck, anything would work for him as long as you were in his protective arms
☆ He even got a bit risky at the dinner table where Mike, Abby, and you.
☆ Mike would rest his hand on your thigh while you both would listen to Abby talk about her "friends" and drawings
☆ Abby started to stick on you, drawing you and Mike holding hands with some colorful background
☆ Mike has always loved you, ever since he saw you in preschool
☆ He may still be a bit nervous around you but still yet, he lived for your love
☆ He would often give you hugs from behind when your cooking with his bedhead, tank top, and sweats
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
(NSFW HDCS)
☆ Morning sex, all the way
☆ It's like you'll come to his house and he would act all needy and would beg for you to ride him
☆ This happens so much that you started to go dumb over his dick
☆ You would obviously agree and lose track of time and he ends up late for work
☆ Mike is so obsessed that near the end of his shift he would call you to check in but it would end up in phone sex
"Yeah, lemme' hear that fuckin' cunt-fuuuuckk"
☆ He would breathe out while his throbbing cock was laying in his calaused hands
"Go on. Finish f' me? Mhmm, that's it..."
☆ Mike would walk you through it and cooed at any noise that came out of your body
"Shiiiit- can't wait to break that fuckin' pussy when I get home.."
☆ Ohh boy, you knew he would absolutely fuck you up
☆ You also knew that when he gets home from shifts, he would get a bit madder each night
☆ You didn't mind, like at all.
☆ Mike was drilling his dick straight into your puffed up cunt, not letting up to let you breathe
☆ You've told him so many times that when he comes home mad you get a bit worried but he brushes it off
☆ Besides that, he loves when you take control too
☆ Having him not shutting up when he was being to loud
☆ Grabbing the opportunity to shove your panties in his mouth
☆ Mike is so far into bliss that he lolled his tongue out to let you spit in his mouth
☆ He calls you whore, you call him slut. Either or you both love degrading each other
☆ Even if he's not in the mood he'll let you hump his thigh so it's not as messy
☆ But it ends in him finger fucking you
"Aww, poor baby wants my fat cock in her? Well to fucking bad, deal with it you fucking whore.."
☆ Mike was the person that had founded your G-spot, making you squirt everytime but sometimes wouldn't let his poor baby finish :(
☆ He would always lick and suck it off of his fingers and helped you wash up
☆ He was the one that made you want more
☆ Mike Schmidt was the only man on earth that could make you come as hard on and around his cock
《☆♡☆》
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alwaysanundertone · 3 months ago
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hiw Abt a marauderers x FEM reader, like where it's after a double moon or smth and Remus is EXTREMELY clingy to the reader, snuggled in her, doesnt let her move, literally anything...and sirius on the other hand is in an awful mood cuz he had some family problem or some thing...he needs support and the reader or Remus aren't there to help him out..and jamesie? Well he had a quidditch match and lost that and is in an equally depressive mood...they all need the reade..but she isn't able to comfort them all...
Sirius becomes and and shouts at the reader...rmeua shouts at sirius for shouting at the reader and James (he can't shout, he's too sweet lol) argues with Remus for being to clingy to the reader...
And so they all get mad and stuff and go to other rooms of the house (lol)
This keeps on continuing until the reader lashes out on all three of them!!!
(p.s: u can totally not do it, if u don't like it lol)
my first request! I'm kind of nervous. My requests are open, and while writing this I realized how much I love them! So feel free to send them <3
Love can be overwhelming | poly! marauders x reader
slight angst / a bit of fluff
word count: 1.8k
CW: mention of abusive household
part 1, part 2 , part 3
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When you started dating the Marauders, the first thing that your friend Dorcas said was to beware, polyamorous relationship could be tough. At first, you brushed her off: you knew that, but your love for the boys would have overcome everything.
Or at least you thought so.
You have been experiencing the worst week of your whole life, you were stressed over your head with schoolwork, wanting to stay on top of your class but, also, struggling too, and this time, your boyfriends weren’t helping at all.
It all started with the fact that, obviously, it was the week before the full moon, meaning that Remus was extremely on edge, but also clingy. Having an afternoon for yourself was a luxury: the werewolf had to stay by your side all of the time. You didn’t quite get this clinginess, because he behaved this way only with you; he wanted to have the other two marauders near, of course, but he was fine as long as you didn’t wonder off, and sometimes he seemed to be a bit possessive over you. So, let’s say that if you felt the need to have some practice lessons for potions, he had to be there, and it didn’t matter if the professor didn’t want anyone else in the room with you: you had to choose between having him near you, or skipping the extra lessons you so desperately needed.
“Remus, I know it’s stressful for you, but you must understand I have to take this class. It’s not like I’m going to be gone all afternoon, I’m asking you for two hours maximum. You know that Slughorn doesn’t like having other people during these lessons, and he’s doing me a favour here” He looked like you just might have kicked him.
“I don’t understand why my partner suddenly doesn’t want me around.” You took a deep breath: truth was, you knew that he wasn’t being unreasonable because he wanted to. If his werewolf instincts weren’t acting up, he would have probably pushed you to take even more lessons, but now he wasn’t in his right mind. You had to chance tactic.
“Baby, you know that I love you, right? I love you so, so much” You took his face into your hands, you saw his expression visibly shift. “And I know it isn’t easy for you, I know that. I swear, if you go napping now, you won’t even notice I’m gone”
“But napping is way more fun with you” His voice turned sultry, his hands now groping your ass lightly. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of need, but now was not the time.
“Tell you what, I’m going to lay down with you until you’re asleep. I’ll give you some head scratches, then, when I’ll be back, you’ll have me all to yourself. Does this sound good?” His pupils were now a little bit wider; he nodded and hauled you on his shoulder, making you yelp when he made you fall on the bed. He positioned his head on your chest, a hand crawling underneath your shirt to grip one of your tits possessively, while the other one stayed underneath your ass, the tips of his fingertips hovering dangerously close to your core.
You knew that his hold wasn’t casual: he was trying to make you stay, knowing the effect that he had on you, but you couldn’t give in: you had to stay strong,  because deep down you knew that, if you failed this exam, you wouldn’t be in the right mind to help Remus during the full moon.
You just had to get through this week, it was only 7 days, right? And most of today was gone, if the other boys would be helpful, as they always did, everything was going to be just fine.
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You wandered off to the Great Hall for breakfast, exhausted. After the lesson with Slughorn, you came back to a very needy Remus, who took all of his clinginess out of you, leaving you sore and tired; while he slept soundly, though, you had to study and make up for the hours lost being supportive for your boyfriend, leaving you with about two hours of sleep in the last forty-eight hours.
“Hey girl, didn’t see you in our dorm room yesterday, oh what the fuck-“ Dorcas looked at you like you might have grown another head during the nighttime. “Babes, have you slept? Like, at all?”
“No, I haven’t. Remus is being extremely clingy, and you know that I’m not the best when it comes to Potions. Given the fact that the test is going to be next week, I barely have time to rest” She scoffed, but you interrupted her before she could start. “I know that James and Sirius should help, but he’s being this clingy only with me, and they can’t do much about that; plus, the upcoming game is stressing them out so much, yesterday they came to bed after practice, they didn’t even eat anything. I just want to support them”
She sighed. “I know baby, but try to not burn out, okay? If you need any help, I’m here, you know? Now, let’s go eat something”
You were happy to share some time with her and your boyfriends, but when you sat next to Sirius, one look at him told you anything that there was to know.
He didn’t greet you, didn’t sport his usual smirk: he was looking down at his plate like it might have held the answer to all his problems, while James looked at you preoccupied. Remus just held you close to himself. You tried to peel yourself away from his embrace, to not avail.
“Sirius, baby, do you want to talk? We can skip the first few hours and go on a walk to the Black Lake?” Now he was looking at you, his eyes were red and puffy, you tried to not cringe at his expression.
“It’s okay, Y/N, just the usual” You hated how he always seemed to shut down, not wanting to share his problems with you. As you tried to reach for his hand, Remus snatched you back, holding you close to him: you could see the moment in which Sirius shut you out for good, and you wanted to kick Remus for it.
“I’m going to handle this, you’re going to think about Remus, okay darling? Then I will report back to you, I swear” James whispered in your ear, You took a deep breath, nodding: you were thankful for him, but you still didn’t want to make Sirius feel like he couldn’t count on you.
You had the time to eat a biscuit before you had to head to class, Remus trailing behind you. You just had to wait for a few days, a few days and all of this would be over, and you had James to help you get through this week. You would be fine, you told yourself.
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On Wednesday, you were thankful that Remus had an important herbology test, which gave you enough time to check in with Sirius. You entered their dorm room, spotting his curled frame under piles of blankets: you felt a pang of guilt, you swore your heart broke just a little.
Without making any sounds, you peeled the blankets off and wrapped your body around his, he startled in his sleep.
“Shh, baby, I’m right here. You’re safe, you know that? And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what” It was like you opened a faucet: his body started trembling, and then came the sobbing, he turned around and hugged you back, you caressed his head and back softly. After he quieted down a bit, you took his face into your hands, forcing him to look into your eyes. “Would you like for me to sing for you?” He nodded eagerly, burying his face in your chest, while you sang him a lullaby.
After a bit, you heard his breath even out. Your heart ached for your lover, you didn’t know what living in an abusive household felt like, and you sometimes even felt guilty over the fact that you had the most loving parents someone could ever asked for. You knew it was silly, but if you could, you’d swap family in a blink of an eye, everything to take this burden off of Sirius’s shoulders.
“Is he okay?” James whispered, startling you. He bent down, placing a soft kiss on your head. “I don’t know, Jamie. He had a breakdown, now he is asleep. I don’t know how to help him, I don’t want him to suffer like this every month.”
“I know, love, I know. You’re doing your best, and he appreciates it. But” He looked at you embarrassed, and you already knew what was going on, you sighed. “Remus just finished his test, and he’s going kind of nuts, he wants you by his side. You should go”
“Can’t he just come here, so we could cuddle?”
“I don’t know, love. This moon seems different, he got a lot more possessive over you. He just wants you for himself, I think we’re going to fix this before the next month, but for now, I think you should go”
You nodded, looking down art Sirius for the last time, before looking for Remus.
You prayed Sirius didn’t feel abandoned by you,  but you still had James to count on.
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On Thursday, you stayed in bed all day with Remus. You studied, of course, and he seemed happy to have you around. You didn’t see Sirius at all, given the fact that you stayed at your dorm, but you thought that James was handling him well.
Exactly, you thought, because, as you and Remus took your seats for the Friday’s night Quidditch game, after having studied all day in the library, you felt a bit anxious. You told yourself you were being paranoid, but deep down, you knew something was off, and when Sirius entered the Quidditch pitch, you knew he wasn’t okay. He didn’t come to greet you, didn’t even look at you, and when you shoot a glance at James, he just averted his gaze: you were fucked.
You took a deep breath and snuggled closer to Remus, his clinginess now comforting, as the game begun. From the first actions, you knew that they were going to lose: Sirius looked like he wasn’t even trying, while James was too preoccupied to check on him to score a single goal.
And as the game ended, you knew your night was going to be an awful one: Gryffindor just lost the game.
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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#tag later#lingering echoes i'll read the rest later#SOME OF MY TAGS GOT CUT OFF IN THE PREVIOUS POST NOOOO I CANT REMEMBER WHAT I WROTE#i am. so. emotional. right now.#ebenholz n kreide i haven't even finished reading n the event ended but they mean so so so so so much to me#ughhhh.. that type of character i love so much#ebenholz is very dear to me in a similar way as. emet-selch#i think#which is. pretty. uh. oh my god#bro i'm like both so emotional still thinking abt that story rn n then the stress of my script for oral comm tmrrw n then#ffxiv 6.3 :c i want to do the raid blind so hopefully by tmrrw i can yeah#n then i'll be so overwhelmed w love for ffxiv while arknights is also at its peak rn n oh dear#gbf too w gw i've been farming on auto#i'm so nervous tmrrw for class oral comm i'm so worried i'll mess up#gahh it's all just so overwhelming rn.. i want to enjoy myself n rest but also perform my best in school or wtvr#reading lingering echoes earlier i think smth in ebenholz rlly struck me too :( i relate w him to an extent#not quite as extreme of course not even close but the.. the idea of that freedom huh#there's just so much i want to do right now its driving me insane n i do admit i wish i could just.#i mean. its not rlly related to the event but it did make me reflect as well n i wish i..#this stupid lonely feeling that never quite leaves me 😭 thinking of it again now n god i've been bottling my emotions again#distancing myself from the world. convincing myself i'm alright w just. idk doing what i can mostly in the confinements of my home?#with my family w my passions n interests but oh my god it hurts so much thinking of it i've been burying it ever since the year started#n i'll tell myself it's alright i'm used to this. this is how life has always been for me. but then..#aghh now's not the time for that. yk i. i miss music so much.#i'll get this script done first then i can do everything else after#ah how confusing life n this world is.#i want to. write. to remember. sigh. life is so fleeting. memories n youth slipping away..#but i'll cry even more if i think of it n write more but i have to get this script done first before anything else.#fuck it i'll shower first i rlly need to cry#this.. loneliness? or. i don't know it's just so much at the same time n it hurts so much i'm sorry i'll delete this later i'm fine.
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cosmicloved · 2 years ago
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going to do a new year’s draft cleanout tomorrow (or later, i guess, since it’s 5am) and hope that motivates me a little! i don’t owe a ton of replies rn but it’s still hard to keep track of everything because my drafts are honestly super cluttered right now. once that’s done, i’ll be making more of an effort to push myself to work through replies-- i know that sounds bad bc rp is meant to be fun and i shouldn’t feel obliged to do anything but i think i actually DO have to be stricter with myself bc i’m v much prone to total distraction rip,,,i don’t think i have any plans tomorrow so i’ll probably be free to do the stuff i want to get done but i will also be trying to make headway on uni stuff bc it’s due on wednesday and i’m extremely behind. trying not to need an extension but we’ll see how that goes! anyway, i’m heading to bed for my first sleep of 2023! good night and happy new year again! <3
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