#I'm way too immersed in the early seasons

[dee-writes-angst]

FALL (Chapter Three)

FEATURING Azriel x Illyrian!reader

SUMMARY after falling down a flight of stairs, you are forced to realize that you aren't alone and that it's time to start healing.

CONTENT WARNINGS mentions of nightmares, apologies, scared reader, comforting Azriel, nosy Rhys, Amren (she's a warning), and injuries

AUTHORS NOTE I kind of hate this a lot, but here is the third part of the Season's series, Fall. Hope you enjoy! <3

Autumn descends upon the world like a tender-hearted healer, enveloping all in its embrace of warmth and renewal. The air takes on a crisp clarity, carrying with it the subtle scent of earth and fallen leaves, a fragrance that whispers of new beginnings. Trees, once adorned in the lush greens of summer, now don their autumnal attire, each leaf a masterpiece of vibrant hues—amber, crimson, and gold—painting the landscape in a tapestry of healing colors.

As daylight wanes, the sun bathes the world in a soft, golden glow, casting long shadows that dance gracefully upon the earth. The breeze, gentle yet invigorating, rustles through the trees, a comforting melody that speaks of resilience and growth. With each step, fallen leaves crinkle beneath our feet, a soothing reminder of the cycle of life and the beauty found in letting go.

In the fall, nature herself undergoes a profound transformation, shedding the old to make way for the new. Trees release their leaves in a graceful dance of surrender, preparing for a period of rest and rejuvenation. Yet, even in this quietude, there is a vibrant energy that pulses through the air, a reminder that healing is not a passive act, but a journey of growth and renewal.

As I found myself immersing in the healing embrace of autumn, I was invited to shed the burdens of the past and embrace the beauty of transformation. Like the earth itself, I was reminded of my innate capacity to heal, to grow, and to emerge stronger and more vibrant than before. In the gentle caress of the autumn breeze, I found solace, strength, and the promise of new beginnings.

(Early September, House of Wind)

Morning light spilled through the windows of the House of Wind, painting the stairwell in hues of gold and amber. Each step I took down the winding staircase echoed softly, the sound muffled by the quiet of the early hour. Shadows danced along the walls, elongated and wavering, as if unsure of their own existence in the gentle glow of dawn.

As I descended, a flicker of movement caught my eye—a subtle shift in the darkness that should not have been there. My heart skipped a beat as I turned to look, dread coiling in the pit of my stomach. The shadows seemed to solidify, taking shape in the form of a figure I knew all too well. It was Lyris, his smirk cruel and taunting, his blade gleaming with malice in the dim light.

Panic surged through me, my breath catching in my throat. It wasn't real, I told myself, but the terror it invoked was. Before I could react, before I could rationalize, my foot missed the next step. There was no time to regain my balance, no wings to unfurl and catch me. I reached out desperately, fingers grasping for the banister, but it was too late.

The world tilted violently as I fell, the sharp pain of impact shooting up my spine as I collided with the unforgiving stairs. Each jolt sent waves of agony coursing through me, my body bouncing helplessly until I finally came to a crumpled stop at the bottom of the staircase. Dazed and disoriented, I tried to gather my bearings, the pain a sharp, throbbing ache in every limb.

Footsteps echoed through the hall, growing louder with each passing second. Then, Azriel was there, his face a mask of concern as he knelt beside me. "Don't move," he said softly, his hands hovering over me with a hesitant touch. "We need to get you to the healer."

"I'm okay," I lied, attempting to push myself up despite the searing pain that shot through me. The room spun sickeningly, and I winced, sinking back down with a pained gasp.

"No, you're not," Azriel insisted, his voice firm but gentle. He assessed me quickly, his expression grave. "We need to get you off these stairs. Can you stand?"

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, frustration and pain mingling into a bitter concoction. "I don't… I can't…" I faltered, unable to voice the depth of my vulnerability.

"It's okay. I've got you." Azriel's arms enveloped me, lifting me gently from the cold, hard floor. I buried my face against his chest, seeking solace in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat amidst the chaos of my own.

As we moved, the memory of the fall replayed in my mind—the hallucination of Lyris, the terror of losing my footing. I had lost more than just my wings that day; I had lost a piece of myself. How was I supposed to heal when my own mind betrayed me with such vivid, haunting illusions?

Azriel's presence was a silent promise of protection, his concern a soothing balm to my fractured psyche. I clung to it, to him, as we made our way to the healer's chambers, the shadows of the stairwell receding into the background as we stepped into the light of a new day. I would allow myself to let him seep in my darkness for a moment. I would be selfish for just this moment and then it would be back to struggling alone, to protecting them, him.

Madja's room was filled with the subtle scent of lavender and sage, a calming ambiance that did little to ease the knot of anxiety in my stomach. The healer's hands were warm and gentle as she applied salves to the bruises that marbled my skin, her touch careful around the tender areas where my wings once were.

"You're healing well physically," Madja said softly, her voice soothing. "But healing the mind… that takes time, and often more than just my skills." She offered me a small, understanding smile, though her eyes were stern, hinting at the depth of her concern.

Before I could respond, the door creaked open, and Azriel stepped inside. His expression was unreadable, shadows swirling slightly at his feet—a sure sign of his inner turmoil. Madja excused herself with a knowing look, leaving us alone.

I shifted on the cot, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders as I faced him. "Azriel," I began, but my voice cracked, betraying my nervousness.

He moved closer, his movements graceful and deliberate. Stopping at the edge of the cot, he knelt so he was eye level with me, his gaze intense. "I've been patient," he said, his voice low and strained. "I've given you space, but we can't keep avoiding this conversation."

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words pressing down on me. "I don't know if I'm ready," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Azriel reached out, his hand hesitating in the air before gently brushing a stray hair back from my face. "I know you're hurting. And I know I can't understand everything you're going through. But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to go through this alone."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I blinked them away furiously. "It's not just the pain, Azriel. It's the fear," I confessed, the words tumbling out. "Every shadow, every noise—it takes me back to that moment. And I feel so powerless."

His expression softened, the shadows receding slightly as if in response to my distress. "I wish I could take that fear away," he murmured. "But since I can't, I'll stand with you against it. Every step of the way, until you feel strong again."

"How do you do it?" I asked, searching his face. "How do you live with your own shadows?"

A sad smile tugged at his lips. "By knowing which shadows are mine to control, and which are simply part of the world. And by having people I love to light the way when it gets too dark."

"What if I'm not strong enough?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on me like a heavy shroud. Despite my efforts to steel myself against the pain, I couldn't help but curl into myself, feeling small and vulnerable in the face of my own fears. "What if I never get over this and—" I choked back my tears once more, the fear gnawing at my insides too overwhelming to voice aloud.

Azriel's heart clenched at my words, the rawness of my pain mirroring his own. With aching tenderness, he reached out, his hand hovering over mine, a silent beacon of comfort in the darkness. "You are strong," he said softly, his voice a gentle reassurance. "Stronger than you realize. But even the strongest among us have moments of doubt, moments when the weight of the world feels too heavy to bear."

My eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, sought solace in his unwavering gaze. "And if you never get over this… if the shadows linger longer than you'd like, know that you are not alone. We'll face them together, every step of the way."

The weight of my fear trembled through my shoulders; the depth of my anguish palpable in the air. "But what if I pull you all into it too?" I whispered, my voice barely above a hoarse whisper. "What if my darkness becomes yours?"

Azriel's heart ached at the thought, but he refused to let me drown in my despair. "Your darkness is not a burden," he said, his voice steady, unwavering. "It's a part of you, just as much as your light. And I would walk through the darkest of nights if it meant I could stand beside you."

He reached for my hand, his touch gentle yet firm, anchoring me to the present moment. "Let me help you carry this weight," he urged, his eyes locking with mine. "Let us carry it together."

For a moment, there was only silence—a heavy, pregnant pause that hung between us, charged with unspoken emotions. And then, with a shaky breath, I nodded, my grip tightening around his hand as if anchoring myself to his steadfast presence.

In that moment, as we sat together in the quiet sanctuary of Madja's room, surrounded by the gentle scent of herbs and healing, Azriel felt a flicker of hope ignite within him. No matter how dark the path ahead, no matter how daunting the shadows that loomed on the horizon, we would face them together. And with love as our guiding light, we would find our way back to the warmth of the sun.

(Mid-October, River House)

The air in the room seemed to hold its breath as I gathered the courage to speak, surrounded by the Inner Circle whose presence felt both comforting and daunting. Cassian's warm gaze, Nesta's softened expression, Rhys and Feyre's silent solidarity, Amren's unreadable yet somehow reassuring presence, and Mor's gentle smile—all of them were a testament to the depth of their care.

With Azriel standing at my side, his silent support a steady anchor in the storm of my emotions, I began to speak. My voice, though laced with uncertainty, carried the weight of my sincerity as I addressed them.

"I want to apologize," I began, each word heavy with meaning as I met their eyes, one by one. "For the distance I've kept, for the walls I've built around myself. I've been… cold, and for that, I'm truly sorry.

A hushed tension hung in the air, anticipation mingling with apprehension as they waited for me to continue. But instead of judgment or reproach, I found only understanding in their expressions—compassion and empathy reflected in their unwavering gazes.

"I'm ready to try," I confessed, the admission a revelation in itself. "To try again.. To heal."

Cassian's hand found mine, his touch grounding and reassuring as he squeezed gently. "We're here for you," he declared, his voice a solemn vow. "Whatever you need, whenever you need it."

Nesta's usually sharp gaze softened, her features etched with genuine concern. "We've missed you," she admitted, her voice carrying a rare vulnerability. "But we understand. And we'll stand by you, no matter what."

Rhys and Feyre exchanged a silent glance, their unity a beacon of strength amidst the uncertainty. "You're not alone," Rhys affirmed, his voice steady and resolute. "We'll face this together, as a family."

Amren nodded curtly, her demeanor as inscrutable as ever, yet there was a glimmer of warmth in her eyes that spoke volumes. "Don't make a habit of apologizing," she quipped dryly, a subtle reassurance in her words.

Mor's smile was gentle, a flicker of hope amidst the darkness that threatened to engulf me. "We love you," she said simply, her words a promise of unwavering support.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I absorbed their words, the weight of their acceptance washing over me like a tidal wave. In that moment, surrounded by the love and understanding of my chosen family, I allowed myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was hope for me yet.

With Azriel's hand firmly clasped in mine, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the arduous journey ahead. It wouldn't be easy, and the road to recovery would be fraught with challenges. But with the unwavering support of those who loved me, I knew I could face whatever lay ahead.

Night after night, the nightmares clawed their way into my sleep, tearing through the fragile fabric of my dreams with merciless intensity. Each time, I would wake in a cold sweat, heart pounding in my chest, lungs gasping for air as if I'd been drowning in the darkness of my own mind.

Azriel had been there from the beginning, his quiet presence a steadfast anchor in the storm of my nightmares. At first, he would come at the sound of my screams, offering comfort and reassurance until the tremors subsided and sleep reclaimed me once more. But as the nights stretched on and the nightmares showed no signs of abating, his visits became more frequent, his presence a comforting constant in the ever-shifting landscape of my dreams.

I would wake to find him sitting beside my bed, his gaze watchful and protective as he kept vigil over my troubled sleep. His presence was a balm to my fractured mind, a beacon of light in the suffocating darkness that threatened to consume me.

At first, I protested his presence, insisting that he had better things to do than waste his nights sitting by my bedside. But he brushed off my protests with a quiet determination, his eyes holding a depth of understanding that spoke volumes. He didn't need words to convey the truth—that he would stay for as long as I needed him, no matter the cost.

And so, night after night, I would wake to find him there, his presence a silent reassurance that I was not alone in my suffering. With each passing night, his visits became longer, his presence more palpable until it felt as though he had practically moved into my room.

I would wake to the soft sound of his breathing, the warmth of his presence a comforting weight beside me. His steady heartbeat echoed in the silence of the night, a rhythmic cadence that anchored me to the present moment.

In those quiet hours before dawn, with the weight of his presence beside me, I found solace in the knowledge that I was not alone. No matter how dark the night, no matter how terrifying the nightmares that plagued my sleep, Azriel was there, a silent guardian watching over me until the first light of dawn chased the shadows away. And for that, I was endlessly grateful.

(Late October, River House)

As Azriel sat across from Rhysand, the weight of the conversation about you felt even heavier upon his shoulders. His mind flickered back to the recent events—the trauma you had endured, the pain etched into your every expression, and the way you had leaned on him for support during your darkest moments.

"I've noticed the way you look at her, Az," Rhys's voice broke through his thoughts, bringing him back to the present. "And I can't help but wonder… Are you two… a thing?"

Azriel's gaze softened with a mix of fondness and concern as he thought of you. "I… I care about her deeply," he confessed quietly, his voice tinged with emotion. "Especially now, after everything she's been through."

Rhys nodded, his eyes reflecting understanding. "I know you've been by her side through it all, Az. And I'm grateful for that. How is she holding up?"

The concern in Rhys's voice mirrored Azriel's own worries. Your recovery had been slow and arduous, marked by moments of progress followed by setbacks. Azriel had been there every step of the way, offering his support and comfort whenever you needed it most.

"She's… she's trying her best," Azriel replied, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "But the kidnapping still weighs heavily on her. Some days are better than others."

Rhys reached out a hand, placing it reassuringly on Azriel's shoulder. "You're doing everything you can for her, Az. And she knows that. Just keep being there for her, okay?"

Azriel nodded, gratitude swelling within him for Rhys's words of encouragement. Despite the challenges they faced, he was determined to stand by your side, offering you whatever solace and support he could provide.

As they parted ways, Azriel's thoughts remained with you—the strength you had shown in the face of adversity, the resilience that burned bright within you. And though he knew that your path to recovery would be a long and difficult one, he vowed to walk it with you every step of the way, for you had become more than just someone he cared about—you were his guiding light in the darkness, his reason to hope for a brighter tomorrow.

(Late November, Velaris)

Stepping beyond the familiar walls of the House of Wind felt like a liberation, a triumph over the shadows that had threatened to consume me. As I walked alongside Feyre and Mor, the streets of Velaris buzzed with life, each step forward a testament to the strength I had found within myself.

Beside me, Azriel's concern was evident, his worry etched in the furrow of his brow and the gentle pressure of his hand in mine. But this time, I was determined to show him—and myself—that I was stronger than the nightmares that haunted me.

"Don't worry, Az," I said with a reassuring smile, giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm ready for this. Feyre and Mor are with me."

Feyre and Mor nodded in agreement; their expressions filled with confidence. "We've got your back," Feyre said with a reassuring smile. "We won't let anything happen to you."

Their words filled me with a sense of reassurance, a reminder that I wasn't alone in this journey. With their support, I felt invincible, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

As we walked through the bustling streets of Velaris, I couldn't help but feel a sense of exhilaration coursing through me. The sun warmed my skin, the wind tousled my hair, and for the first time in what felt like ages, I felt truly alive.

But amidst the excitement, a part of me couldn't shake the worry that lingered in Azriel's eyes. I knew he cared about me deeply, and the thought of causing him any more pain weighed heavily on my heart.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" he asked quietly, his concern palpable. "We can turn back if you're not feeling well."

I met his gaze with determination, my resolve unwavering. "I'm more than ready, Az," I replied, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "I've spent too long hiding away. It's time for me to start living again."

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[writersrkive]

hi!! i just read your spencer fic about telling him not to shut up. i specifically loved the fact that the reader’s first language isn’t english, i feel like the majority of the fandom doesn’t have english as their first language.

could you write something where the reader’s first language isn’t english and they’re having trouble with their paperwork because people tend to use a lot of difficult words, and spencer notices it and helps them out? maybe reader often stays late to finish working because they need to read sentences multiple times to fully understand them?

if you don’t feel like writing this feel free to skip or write anything else <3

(it’s getting late for me here but i look forward to reading more of your work when i come back from work tomorrow :)

have a good day!!

A little help never hurts | Spencer Reid

summary: Paperwork days are hell, especially for you, since English isn't your first language. You don't say anything to any of your coworkers because you're afraid they will see you as incapable of doing your work, but one genius boy might have been looking at you a lot and definitely notices something is wrong. He is determined to help you. An extra help never hurts, right?

genre: fluff, comfort

pairing: early seasons!Spencer Reid x bau!reader

warnings: English isn't reader's first language, mention of reader being from another country (I think that's all, but let me know!)

a/n: Omg, my second request! I loved the idea, thanks! I hope you like it rebel-ezra (does this notify you when I answer your inbox or do I have to tag people when it's not anon? lol, sorry). I'm excited to see how much you enjoy this one, and I'm sorry if it's not as good as you expected. English isn't my first language, please be kind <3.

Happy New Year, reader! I hope you can get distracted a little with this fic if, if you need to. You did it! Next year we have more people, places and things to know, hugs!

important: Are you guys interested in being in a Criminal Mind's tag list for my fics? If that's the case, let me know in the comments, please. I might be doing one if there's enough people.

Masterlist Spanish ver. On Wattpad (coming soon)

The feeling of pressure on your head and the emptiness of your stomach has stressed you since a few hours ago. You didn't have anything to eat since the doughnut and cup of coffee that García offered you in the morning when she arrived. But you weren't close to going home.

Paperwork was always a pain in the ass, but especially for the poor newest member of the BAU. Why is that? Well, your mother language wasn't English, and of course you had a good level —otherwise you wouldn't have the opportunity to study and work in the U.S.A.—, but the documents were too formal and technical given the seriousness of the issues being discussed.

“Shit.” You whispered, typing a new confusing and complicated word on your computer for the third time in an hour.

“Hey, do you want to go to my place after work? Tonight seems like a free night, if duty doesn't call.” Emily had approached you with a warm smile, knowing that paperwork was never easy.

“Thanks, Em. But I think tonight I'm going home to rest. It's been a long week.” But you gave that answer because at that point, it was routine to stay way later than your workmates.

Spencer was coming back from the bathroom, ready to take his stuff and go home. It was really late, so he thought he was the only one besides Hotch in the office. However, he saw you at your desk: your head resting on a dictionary, the computer next to you and several post-it notes stuck in the drawers of your desk.

He called your name twice, but of course the sleep you were immersed in did not allow you to hear it. Footsteps were heard in the darkness. There were just a few desk lamps on, that's why he was able to see your peaceful expression. He touched your shoulder slightly and when you opened your eyes, all you saw was a shy smile.

“Reid, what's wrong?” You asked, feeling your head throbbing.

“Are you okay? You fell asleep.” He whispered.

“Oh… Yeah… I'm okay.”

“Are you sure? You seem pretty tired. It's late so maybe you should go home”

“Don't worry. I have work to get done anyway.” You sighed, remembering how you still had to review a quarter of documents.

“What? But you have been working on this for hours.”

His comment made you blush. Of course you haven't told anyone how hard it was to review every document twice or even thrice to be sure that you didn't misunderstand or mistranslate anything. Somehow you felt that if anyone knew they would criticize or mock you. Not that you thought about your coworkers being mean, but through your journey of learning another language and moving from your country, you met all kinds of people. Also, you didn't want to be seen as weak or incapable of doing your job.

“Today was just a lot, that's all.”

“You usually work quickly, though I think I know what's going on. You keep a dictionary on your desk and usually carry a pocket version in your backpack, the days when you leave work late are paperwork days and you usually close the translator tab on your computer as soon as someone approaches your desk.” He explained looking around your stuff as if he was analyzing everything. “Is it about the language?”

“Yes, yes it is, okay? There, I said it!” Your frustrated tone made Spencer realise how tired you were about the situation. You didn't even try to deny it, you just hid your face around your arms, leaning on your desk —as if you were recreating the position he found you asleep previously—.

“Hey, but what's wrong with that?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean ‘what's wrong with that'? I'm supposed to understand everything that is on the documents, but I become slower because I have to verify and translate information that I don't understand because it is a more technical language.” The words were audible enough to him even though your face was still hidden.

“Do you realize English isn't your first language, right?” He tried to get you to look at him, but it didn't work. “Everyone in this work has difficulties when it comes to other languages. You don't have to feel bad because it's happening to you.”

“Does it happen to you?” Your shy eyes met his.

“Not really.” He answered with a hint of a cocky smile.

“See?”

“Well, I didn't say anything about me, you were the one who asked. Besides, I'm trying to be more sociable.” His comment made you chuckle slightly, but that chuckle became a laugh when you repeated what he said in your mind. “You are really funny, do you know that?”

“A-Am I?” The way you were looking at him, with a tired, yet cute, expression and a little smile, made his heart skip a beat.

“Yeah…”

“Well, I can also be of great help at work. Let me help you with the files.”

“It's not necessary.”

“It is. You need to rest, so let me get started while you go to the machine for something to eat. A little help never hurts.” He whispered, already taking the documents.

“Fine.”

A few minutes later you returned with an open package of cookies. You stopped for a moment, admiring the furrowed eyebrows of the genius boy who was reading the files with a lot of attention. Then you realized how fortunate you were for having coworkers like him. Or maybe was he himself the one who was so amazing that you would never get tired of working with him.

“Agent. Can I talk with you for a second?” Hotch's voice welcomed you the next morning.

Spencer's view followed your figure to the boss’ office and that didn't go unnoticed by his best friend.

“Pretty boy had fun yesterday?” Derek teased.

“What?”

“You know… Penelope said that last night Hotch wasn't the only one who left work late. You and our new colleague had a date at work?” His strong arm embraced the other's shoulders.

“N-No! I thought we were the only ones… No! Nothing happened!” Spencer struggled to say.

“Reid, can we talk?” Your voice made him turn around. He just hoped you weren't angry.

“What is it? Is everything alright?” He asked when both of you walked into an empty hallway.

“Actually, yes. Apparently Hotch received a request from the team's genius profiler to work with me on my paperwork days. So, you are having trouble concentrating on the files because of some headaches and need someone to work with?” As you spoke your tone of voice slowly reflected, with a mocking tone, that you knew perfectly well why Spencer had spoken to Hotch.

“Am… Yeah. Headaches are the worst.” He whispered looking to the floor.

“Thanks, Spence.” You said with sincere gratitude. Spencer looked at you again and felt a weight lift off his shoulders when he realized that you weren't mad at him.

“Sure. Whatever you need, I'm here for you… as coworkers, of course!” His voice got a little higher when he clarified immediately.

You were about to walk past him to return with the others, but then he spoke again. “Do you think maybe we can go and have coffee on a free day? I mean, I can help you with the words that are difficult for you. And, actually, I was thinking that I might need help with your language too. We can help each other, you know?” He gulped.

“Sure. A little help never hurts.” You smiled and walked away hiding a smile while Spencer was left alone, standing in the middle of the hallway, unable to believe that he had just asked you out. “Hotch is gonna kill me if he finds out…”

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#6: Cuz I'm Okay Too (S4E16)

Such a heartfelt and important moment in the making of Richonne. 🥹 The scene is brief but still manages to communicate something so important about Rick and Michonne's profound connection. That You're Okay/I'm Okay interconnectedness between them is one of those deep and consistent qualities that make Richonne one of a kind. By this season 4 moment, I really and truly believe Rick and Michonne had fallen in love and I cherish that this beautiful scene is a part of their love story. The scene is a true Richonne classic...

Richonne's love story has so much life to it because it was able to breathe as it evolved each season. And as much as the world was screaming at them - when it came to Rick and Michonne's pre-canon build-up there were these small quiet moments like the one in this s4 finale that still really helped to lay their foundation steadily and naturally.

I appreciate that Richonne's journey was a slow burn (the most fiery slow burn, might I add 🔥) and that we got to see their love story play out from the moment they first laid eyes on each other all the way to now as a husband and wife determined to find each other again. The build-up was as great as the payoff in the making of Richonne and this season 4 pre-canon moment between them is one of the foundational staples in building their relationship.

As I’ve stated before, I consider this 4.16 ep quite monumental to Richonne as I feel its by this point these two have fallen in love. And this scene just really backs that up to me and gives us our first insight into the unique interconnection they have.

The reason why I so confidently refer to these two characters as soulmates is because absolutely every time Rick and Michonne were together it was clear they had a deep mind-body-soul connection and a magnetic draw that showed they were tethered to each other and meant to be.

They were so kismet that even in the beginning of their relationship they seemed to be strongly emotionally connected to each other.

In the early stages of their growing bond, Rick and Michonne really would often look at each other like they were both something special and inexplicably familiar, like a missing piece of themselves that they yearned for and felt innate trust and safety with. And, to me, this scene illustrates all of that.

I also noticed that since I've gotten so used to seeing team family in the 'stability' of ASZ for half the series, whenever I see scenes of them in these earlier seasons where they had no home base it makes me a little emotional because it makes you realize just how little they had, and how much they were being held together by their resilience and their family alone. It's really a testament to their strength and the family they built that fueled them to keep going.

I love the way this 4.16 scene is shot, the fall vibes are just nice with all the leaves as they walk. Also the show did a good job of always making it feel like there was some added weight to when Rick and Michonne were around each other. The two together on screen are just always electric as this scene solidifies.

(Side note: watching this show back, I love how quiet the ambiance was in the earlier seasons, it really made the world feel immersive and lived in.) 

When Rick protectively sat outside of that car in the previous scene with Carl asleep in Michonne's lap, Michonne heard Rick talk to Daryl about who he is and why he’s here, and her expression as she listens was telling. I know R&M both were more aware of how much they mean to each other from here on out. And then that love only grows stronger, even as soon as their next scene.

So this #6 scene starts with Rick walking ahead, and I love how Michonne is looking at him as she walks closer to him. I’d love to know exactly what she’s thinking at this moment cuz she clearly has some thoughts. 😊

As she studies him in this scene I really do feel like it’s her seeing the resilient man he is and feeling a lot of genuine love and respect for him. Especially after seeing Rick go to an incredibly intense place to save her, Carl, and Daryl the night before.

Rick went to lengths not many would even think to go...but that level of fight in him is one Michonne knows well. It's in her too. And I think at this moment she knows truly that they are cut from the same cloth.

She silently observes him and, before she even speaks, Rick senses her and asks if she’s okay. I love that he checks in on her after what they went through.

When Rick and Michonne found each other after the prison fell, they became a package deal and went through most things side by side from then on. And I love that through all the wild things they experienced together, they had each other to check in with and make sure they were okay because they got to be fully human with each other. 

Michonne nods and says a reassuring 'yeah' and then again has those little glances at him that, to me, suggest sis has caught feelings. 

Then I always love that Rick proceeds to offer up that he’s okay. He initiates saying that because he wants her to know this and he knows this would matter to her. Ever since reuniting after the prison, Michonne has often brought up the importance of Rick healing and resting, so he knows she cares about his wellbeing and that he’s okay. 

And it’s also like by offering up, "I'm okay" he wants her to know he’s still okay as a person even after showing that he’s capable of some pretty intense stuff. I’ve always loved this, especially because as a woman traveling alone with men, it means a lot to have a man want you to know he’s still okay and safe to be around.

But then what is so lovely about this scene is that Rick gets to see that he doesn’t need to do any convincing with Michonne because she has always seen and understood him on a deeper level.

(It makes me think of when Michonne talks with Merle during season 3 inside the prison. She defends Rick and Carl and notes that they're both killers but she doesn't say it as a condemning thing because even as strangers she understood that Rick and Carl are still good people despite what they've had to do to survive)

And as much as Rick is grappling with all that he’s capable of here at the end of season 4, it’s so refreshing that Michonne is right there to let him know he’s not a monster to her. So when he says he’s okay, she says without any doubt, "I know." 😊

Then I so love that Rick asks, "How?" It’s an interesting thing to ask because he could have just left it at her saying she knows, but I love that he’s curious to know this. Almost as if deep down wanting to know that she really does see and understand him as clearly as he sees and understands her.

And when he can’t help but ask, I adore the way she looks at him and so effortlessly tells him, “Cuz I’m okay too.” 🥹

Another classic line in Richonne's journey. 🥰 And a line that is as powerful as it is pretty.

I know I've said a lot of their scenes are giving romantic but this one is 1000% giving romantic. I mean this dialogue between them could be seamlessly inserted into a romance movie and I'd be like...

And it is just such a sweet sentiment - "Cuz I'm okay too." Similar to Rick's "Must've been something else then," line, I'd love to know exactly what Michonne was aware of regarding her attraction and feelings for Rick at this time.

It’s significant for Michonne to vocalize this and let Rick know that she has developed enough feelings for him that his well-being impacts her own. He’s okay, so she’s okay. And we see that 'you're okay then I'm okay' thing that they have play out in so many moments between them in this series.

One that comes to mind is an honorable mention scene in s5 at Alexandria when Michonne can’t sleep, and then we see that Rick has also been up and unable to sleep.  It’s almost like Rick's restlessness played a part in what was affecting Michonne's ability to rest.

And Rick even vocalizes as much when he asked why they're both awake before touching her shoulder and her reacting in a way that further proves their magnets. Something innate within them is so often on the same wavelength, even when they have some different outlooks.

I love these TWD reactors who noted how Rick’s mind silently racing was still so loud to Michonne and keeping her up in that s5 scene, whereas if Rick would sleep she probably would be able to fall asleep too.

Rick and Michonne are just one like that and they have always been so emotionally intertwined. They don't just understand what the other is going through, they feel what the other is going through. #TetheredSoulmates

So I love and appreciate this s4 finale scene for fully establishing Rick and Michonne's unique and heartfelt interconnection - both that they have it, and that they deep down know they have it too.

Rick nods after Michonne says this, and this subtle moment just feels like he gets what she means. She doesn’t even have to explain further cuz I think he knows he feels the same - You're okay, I'm okay.

And then the way Michonne is looking at that man at the end of this scene...Cupid got her, y’all. Just like Cupid got Rick lol. 😊

Richonne really was inevitable because right here in s4, seasons before their canon ep, these two loved each other and had at least some awareness that the connection between them runs deep. 

Am I smiling from ear to ear rewatching this? Best believe. They just go together and it’s so clear here. And I love looking at this scene and knowing this is a husband and wife in the making who will bring a beautiful baby into this world. Won't He do it! 🙌🏾 It's scenes like these that confirm to me why Richonne’s pre-canon and post-canon moments are both top-notch.

As Michonne will tell Carl in a beautiful bonding moment later in the s4 finale, she knows the Grimes boys brought her back. They helped make her okay again. And the way Michonne brought so much good to Rick and Carl's lives, she brought them back too.

So I’ll forever love that in this quiet scene between Michonne and Rick, we see so clearly how they help make each other feel more than okay. 😌

[seafoamreadings]

week of november 5th, 2023

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: long distance travel leading to love or some other form of long distance relationship become probable at this time. if that's not you, you probably have at least beautiful relationship developments happening alongside some major philosophical/academic strides.

taurus: this week, especially early on, is magically venusian, and i'm not saying "magically" lightly. it's powerful old love magic. and if you're a practitioner, it's a great time to direct that energy with your own will.

gemini: if the setting has seemed like being stuck in swampy quicksand lately, the increase in air and fire energy help you to pull yourself out of it and get back to flitting around like the mischievous little pixies we all know geminis can be! have a great time. be respectful of the heavier energies that still remain though, nothing too crazy okay?

cancerians: the watery scorpio new moon is very much your wheelhouse and can herald new romance. if you're looking, set intentions around that. if you are not, focus instead on arts, pleasures, and fun. while it technically occurs at the very beginning of next week, you will feel it from the end of this week, and can start planning now!

leo: leos who've been struggling recently suddenly find their voice again, find a muse, find a spark of joy a somber world. fan the flame and nourish it. warmth like that comes and goes, but make the most of it while it's here.

virgo: this week sees venus leave your sign for libra. while it's always a little sad to see her move on from blessing your first house, maybe you can appreciate how well she'll now attract money and good resources to you. live your authentic truth, stick to your values, and reap the rewards.

libra: in spite of the fact that it actually is scorpio season (which by the way is great for you financially) there's a distinctly libran tone to this week due to the presence of both venus and the moon. stay serene, even if you have to fake it a little.

scorpio: your sign and your ruling planet are always about power. this week in particular you are at your best, your strongest. "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a dangerous phrase at times and often wrong but at the moment, it's most likely to be true for you. soak up those vibes and do what you need to do! pluto is strongly on your side, and mars supports, along with a lot of good watery vibes in the background.

sagittarius: in such a stolid and steady time, the ingress of mercury into your sign comes as a welcome change of pace. speak only truths. others can't help but to do so as well, even if the tells are nonverbal. be on the lookout if you have any suspicions or questions, mercury here for the next few weeks tells you what you need to know.

capricorn: we're now seeing the last of pluto in your sign for our entire lifetimes and then some. this week's aspects to venus and mercury are pleasant, for such a chthonic archetype. you speak powerfully and magnetically. your aura is enchanting. use it for good and not evil, in order to bring you a better pluto in aquarius period later on.

aquarius: two ingresses occur this week to make you feel a little more awake and alive if you've been feeling stifled, stuck, or slowed down. socializing is extremely auspicious from this week onward, especially with people and ideas that are completely brand new to you. if you've been wanting to immerse yourself in some new social culture, the time is now and especially by the weekend.

pisces: you're always a deep personality but from this week's venus into libra ingress, you will be especially so. small talk is hard to abide, trivialities of life enrage you, you become (even more of?) a ride or die. that's okay, the intimacy and loyalty are beautiful, as long as you are looking out for your physical, emotional, and spiritual safety in the process.

[amorfista]

I have some news to share ^^

A few days ago I had a revelation while at work.

For over 8 years I've been a big fan of the Dark Souls franchise. The first Dark Souls felt to me like a journey; a full-on immersion into an incredibly complex world, marked by disparity: old royalty, splendor, trust, hope, magic, nostalgia, wonder, gold, light... but also decay, dread, betrayal, horrors, darkness, death, monsters, disease, anguish. This game left a deep print on me that hasn't faded. Ever since I played it, fantasy changed in my eyes. Dark Souls I, II and III became a standard, a reference point. Even when I didn't draw as much as I do now, I aspired to one day pay good tribute to the games that meant so much to me! And, of course, I created fan art, but I always felt like I could have given more.

Now. As you probably know I'm also a big Star Wars fan, specifically TCW fan. And a few months ago I watched The Bad Batch for the first time. This show left a print in a very similar way as Dark Souls had before. It fueled my inspiration significantly, motivated me and, most importantly, helped me form friendships that I'm incredibly grateful for ♥. So... the other day, while I listened to some Dark Souls music at work, I thought...

Why not combine my favorite show with my favorite videogame franchise?

So that's it guys. May I present to you:

-The Bad Batch: Dark Souls AU-

That's it! That's my brilliant idea! XD This is going to be a project, a BIG one. So I would like to briefly (i promise i tried) explain how it will affect my content, under the cut: (I'll also drop some older DS artwork at the bottom!)

TLDR: From now on I will focus on TBB DS AU as my main and basically sole project . Even if you didn't play DS, that's okay! I will make it people-who-didn't-play friendly, to ensure everyone enjoys the journey. However, if this isn't for you, it's okay to unfollow <3 -I would say that, since I came to tumblr this early summer, my "signature" drawings are the TBB beach episode ones. I have WIPs for this project but I've been feeling stuck for far too long, so I am going to put it on hold. In fact, I am going to put on hold virtually everything that I was planning on doing, with a few exceptions. This means that I will rarely draw anything outside this AU.

-I am CLOSING commissions. I found that they put a kind of pressure on me that doesn't feel too good, and, honestly, I'm lucky to say that I do not need the money at the moment. I'm still open to requests, though, so don't hesitate to send anything and I'll draw it if I feel like it :) I'll even try to set up a store at some point!

-The project will consist on three journeys, featuring the 6 members of the Bad Batch, and corresponding with the three Dark Souls games. Each of those journeys will, more or less faithfully, follow the events of EACH season of TBB, adapted of course to the universe of Dark Souls, AKA Dark Medieval Fantasy. This means that, until the third season of TBB is released, I won't make any DSIII-related drawings.

-The journeys are adapted to the universe, and thus, will follow the real player journey as faithfully as I can, staying within DS canon and allowing people who have played the games to enjoy my drawings. However,

-THE DRAWINGS WILL BE 100% NON-DS-PLAYER FRIENDLY. I know that my followers are not DS fans but TBB/TCW fans. I am NOT here just to please DS fans. I want TBB fans to enjoy this journey, without having to google meanings or go easter-egg hunt to understand what is happening. I will tell a story and you will only have to enjoy it.

-This is a project for myself. Both DS and TBB mean A LOT to me, and this idea had me vibrating with excitement. I am making this project to PAY TRIBUTE to two things I love. However that does not mean that I will neglect the very people who have motivated me to keep creating. I promise to still deliver my very best with every drawing.

Do not hesitate to unfollow if this isn't for you.

I can understand that some people might follow me only for my wholesome beach episode drawings or for regular, HC TBB content. And that's okay. That's what this announcement is for! To let you know. This community has given me so much and I want to give back. And if you do stay, I can almost 100% assure you that you will enjoy what's to come!! <3 It will be a long but satisfactory journey. I'LL BE POSTING THE FIRST DRAWINGS IN THE UPCOMING DAYS!

OKAY, SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT!!! 😖 Here are some older DS drawings ^^ (jesus I have way more than I thought and these aren't even all of them)

AIGHT. NOW YOU KNOW IT'S SOME SERIOUS SHIT WHEN I SAY I LIKE THESE GAMES.

Anyway. Including a taglist, because I think it would be unfair not to let you guys know about this project in case anyone wants out (or to not be tagged). Send me a DM if that's the case, it's NO PROBLEM!!! I wouldn't want to tag someone who doesn't want this content.

ALSO PLEASE, ANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE, TOSS THEM TO ME! And thank you kindly for making it this far <3

@dukeoftheblackstar @justalittletomato @darthmaulshispanichousewife @botherbother-blog @aftergloom @badolmen @ihaventpickedausername @ohboi @stardustbee @nik-barinova @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @gen-has-green-vibes @ejfivercommander @herbalinz-of-yesteryear @eyecandyeoz @noesqape @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @staycalmandhugaclone @callmesunny04 @freesia-writes @ginnymilling @sunshinesdaydream @sev-on-kamino @cloneloverrrrr @moon-wrecked @idontgetanysleep @tech-aficionado @followthepurrgil @renton6echo @queen-jiru @shoe-bag @eyayah123 @eloquentmoon @and-loth-cat @ladyzirkonia @stardusthuntress @bambambunny @morphofan @gt13tbbart @amalthiaph @cameronirat @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @anxiouspineapple99

[bearpillowmonster]

I've heard all kinds of things about this show but it was one of those adult shows on late night as a kid so I kind of just passed by it and the concept of a show that moves in real time is cool and all but it'd take impeccable writing to pull off. I'm sure everyone's asked the question about how someone got from point A to point B so quick but it's something you learn to hurdle over, there are a lot of things involved to warrant a minor time skip.

As far as how it's aged, well, I'm streaming it so it doesn't have the commercials which are included in the timer, which would've made you feel immersed like it's a live tv show. Also, I have a pause button, but other than that, it's considered an hour a piece and there's twenty four episodes hence "24".

I went in knowing nothing about the actual plot, just that I've heard it to be satisfying from beginning to end and I know Kiefer Sutherland from Metal Gear so any excuse to hear that voice. It did actually have a few moments like that too, him sneaking and hiding behind something and shooting his gun around the corner and all. My favorite part of the series might actually be the one where he's in between the panes of glass relatively early on. It's like Die Hard the tv show.

Now some characters have better stories than others, the wife for example, Teri, they introduce her as the mom that the daughter doesn't like but you're not sure why, maybe she just works a lot. Then you start to see as she breaks into her daughter's laptop, complains about Jack not being around whenever he's getting shot at. I could see if it was played off as if she doesn't know what kind of work he does but obviously she does because she has Jack use his government powers (and his friends) in order to do her personal bidding, now does it pay off? Yes, but she doesn't know that. She's not the only one either but I digress.

The Senator is used to kind of show that his life mirrors Jack's, giving similar situations but the opposite outcome and it shows what lines they're willing to cross and not cross given similar opportunities. (Also, black president, before Obama) But because it's 24 hours, it can get kind of slow because there's always an impending threat but it gets super involved with everything else going on and you wanna line the pieces up but ultimately, sometimes it feels like they spend way too much time before the actual threat even gets anywhere, it's all side-work. And these people don't sleep.

Every now and then, they try to throw you a bone and give you a time window "ten minutes from now, your car will arrive." "I'll finish decoding this in twenty minutes." "At 10:45, I'll call." and sometimes they're right if you time it, it at least tells you that hey, there's this much runtime left, it'll be in this episode. Engaging if you're looking at the clock. Wait, does that mean that every week the show was on at a different hour and was this successful? But wait, what about time zones? Reruns? I'm not sure how it all worked and it's hard to find evidence.

It almost seemed like they were grasping at straws at a certain point to reach all 24 episodes AND be in 24 hours so Kim gets kidnapped…again and Jack ends up being blackmailed…again. Almost like they were responding to criticisms from previous episodes because people weave in and out like they were paid on an episode by episode basis. But this is just one season and it took almost a year to film.

Then somewhere, out of the blue, they give you the most crazy twist at the end of episode 23. It doesn't even make any sense, it wasn't like some ah-ha moment where the pieces fell into place and you could go back and see how they did it, no, because there's so much evidence the other way that it seems impossible. If they knew this person was involved, why did they try to kill them? Why did they help at all these turns and get in the way at points?

Before that, I wasn't too sure how this season would be followed up given that it at least concludes what we have and that one thing just left a bunch of unanswered questions. I'm a little half and half with it overall, some of what it had I really liked, but some isn't that good. I'll probably watch S2 at some point though.

NOW! I mentioned Teri and she's just a special kind of character that I found myself making fun of for a majority of it but I wrote so much that I wanted to keep it in the same post but not muddy up the rest of my thoughts so FULL ON SPOILERS from here folks.

Episode 9 is full of real a-holery, like the writing is just wrong as far as it goes. Teri…lets herself get "r'ed" to protect the daughter from also getting "r'ed"?? Then she digs up old dirt on the people who just rescued her and still tries to get Jack's attention while he's being questioned for saving their lives? Needy much?

Teri actually ends up scarred by this event, which is understandable, her daughter goes missing, she gets…r….she has to shoot a man, she gets questioned, she learns she's pregnant, all in 24 hours but there are points where they hint at this affecting her where it just comes off as cheesy, she'll just stare blankly or forget and they're like "c'mon, remember!" it's not like a sad moment or anything, it's a time of need and it hinders her ability to function. But she shuts down to the point where her daughter is calling her and she doesn't even answer, staring into nothing, can't answer for anything but once there's an attack, she kicks it into high gear and does a whole chase sequence.

Ok, fight or flight, she finally learned. And all these complaints that I've had with her, while I haven't been her biggest fan, while I haven't liked how they wrote her segments, I can commend them for one thing- they were committed. Whatever came next was so much apart of her character that I never would've even crossed that road. She goes through the chase, pulls off behind some bushes and lets the dude pass, she GETS OUT OF THE CAR to go check to see if he's still following. You know- the guy- trying to kill her- will run her over the first chance he gets and she'll be helpless to stop it. Apparently she already thought of that though and told Kim to stay in the car. Well, she for some reason, cornered her car so far off the edge so that there was no chance to get away (let alone quickly having her gotten out) that it tips over and falls off the mountain and exploding with Kim in it. Talk about leaving a wake of destruction in your path…so that makes her pass out. On point for her character thus far. She wakes up and doesn't know where or who she is, she forgot EVERYTHING. Absolutely committed to this path, she is a force to be reckoned with.

And you think she's bad? Just wait until you get a load of Sherri (get it? rhymes with Teri), she's- I'm not even going to talk about her. Like I said, two sides of the same coin but somehow, she's more evil.

[kry3talline]

𝖂𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Alright...it's been a while, but I'm back; I had to take some time off of posting due to personal circumstances, and in all honesty..kind of regret it. I gained back some weight, but have realized I need to get it together, and have come up with a pretty effective plan to get myself back on track physically and mentally, in terms of both WL and other aspects of life because good lord (little vent ahead): I miss where I was this summer when I lost weight. i miss the brief period when I was like 45 kg. Soooo, new stats:

Height- 5'1

SW/CW-48 kg

GW 1 (Reach by November 28/Thanksgiving Day): 46.8 kg

GW 2 (Reach by December 5/Day when I'm volunteering at Winter Festival/Day before Track Tryouts): 46 kg

GW3- 45 kg (Reach by December 13/Dat of Athletic Meet)

UGW: 44 kg

Soooo, I've crafted a diet/ mindset I believe should be relatively practical and sustainable enough to achieve this (hopefully results ill be achieved faster than expected; honestly, as long as I keep consistent with exercise and refrain from overeating I shouldn't be derailed). Plus, well....Thanksgiving break is coming up, so, this should be in my favor:

𝕎𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝔻𝕚𝕖𝕥

Dew drops glisten on the frigid fields of grass basking in the morning glow, crafting an impeccable golden sheen illuminated in the soft iridescent lighting; your skin is kissed by the apricit frost, the faintest trace of a chill seeping through the fabric of your plush oversize hoodie. Twinkling fairy lights adorn the porches of neighboring houses as many begin, even in such an early season, to prepare for the holidays, conveying a bewitching tapestry of twinkling lights amid the rich mosiac of the velvet twilight sky.

The final remnants of autumn have long since withered away, giving way to the seamless arrival of the most breathtakingly magical time of the year: winter. The season carries the promises of Christmas—rekindled hopes, the joy of exchanging gifts, and the anticipation of snow. The air is filled with the intoxicating aroma of peppermint, mingling with the warmth of spiced cider and freshly baked gingerbread. A perfect time to immerse oneself in a time of self-discovery,healing,and renewal as society parts from the current year and transitions into the new one.

𝔻𝕚𝕖𝕥 ℝ𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕤

During days you eat, try to eat more meals, yet keep each one limited (aim for around 150-300 calories a meal.)

Ensure to avoid most proccessed foods/"soul-nourishing" treats, at least for the first week or so for the diet...after that, you may indulge if you truly feel the need to; however, do not go overboard. After all, remember, it's better to have one Ghiradelli sugar cookie flavored chocolate square every day, balanced into your caloric intake, than to gorge on an entire bag in one sitting.

Speaking of calories...try to keep your intake in a range between 800 and 1400 kcal a day, with one metab day a week.

Romanticize this as much as possible...it IS winter after all (or the holiday season;same thing!) Experiment with fun little recipes, putting twists on belowed classics.

Focus on leaner sources of protein balanced with veggies and fruits; incoprorate a variety of salads (experiment; I've always wanted to try making a fall themed salad with no idea where to start), soups, lean turkey breast, squash/zucchinni, fresh fish, et cetera.

Walk, walk, WALK; throw on an oversize hoodie or sweater and go outside, traversing through your neighborhood to greet the sun and the stars. After all..you'd be surprised how effective 10k+ steps is.

On weekends/if time permits, go on a pre-breakfast run! take advantage of the chill in order to get stronger.

(Optional) Partake in strength training, as fat burns more calories than muscle, and you may achieve a more toned look!

Remember, although nutrients are important for overall skin/hair health, organ function, and energy levels, never place too much of an emphasis on it; if a portion is too much for you, STOP. Do not ever eat past the point of comfort under the guise of 'getting more protein in' or 'to fend off afternoon hunger'

Hydrate! It's good for you  ❤

Try to distract yourself from the thought of food...a good tip that worked for me over the summer is remembering the hunger will pass (which it most often did) and ifnd a way to occupy oneself,bringing me to my next point...

Engage in a creative hobby to pass your time. Become invested in particular activities, faandoms, et cetera to keep yourself from mindless snacking. Furthermore, this will allow you to expand upon a certain skillset, which will be beneficial for your mental health. Write poetry (my goal for this winter), partake in creative qriting, draw, read, knit, chrochette, paint, play an instrument, learn a language (also a favorite of mine...I want to continue studying Spanish, but want to learn a bit of Finnish as well? Random, I know, but I'm rather intrigued by Scandinavian culture, and apparantley, my mother is half Finnish!),dance, et cetera.

SLEEP! Sleep is a key pillar to weight/fat loss, since it reduces the production of Ghrellin and promotes Leptin (hunger/fullness hormones). Furthermore, you'll feel more energized and less compelled to snack (especially at night....if you tend to snack at night, I recommend going to sleep earlier.)

Take up journaling in order to reflect upon all which troubles you and stimulate clarity and peace.

(Optional/personal) Expand upon aspects of spirituality ( I haven't gone to church in a while, but for some reason I remember when I was younger and was more dedicated to my faith I felt more content, more at peace. Plus, if nothing else, it gives me a place to be on Sundays,something to focus on and serve as a guide throughout life. However, I understand everyone has their preferences and views on life, so by no means feel pressured to do this!)

Experiment with style; comfy sweaters paired with jeans are a go-to of mine, but aim for comfort with more of a neat, furnished appearance!

Note: This is essentially what I plan to do these next few weeks in order to romanticize my WL, so i decided to scrap it all together into a "themed diet". By no means take this as advice for health/restrictions. I'll likely start being more active on here, posting progress updates, WIEIAD's, themed diets, inspo, et cetera. If anyone wants to chat/be buddies in this, DM me!

Take care of yourselves ❄️

[castlebyersafterdark]

first off, i cant appreciate you enough for openly embracing FOAH. even byler fandom is hella conservative around accepting them as potentially a real life couple, which is odd to me. but i am also happy that their privacy is intact and shipping can be annoying for anyone who likes to keep their private life to themselves.

from S2 onwards i have been deeply into shipping byler and didnt even think of foah back then. but right after S3 promotions it felt as if there is definitely something simmering. so i looked back and did a deep dive into S2 & S1 promo and bam.....it was always there although it was subtle. but S3 was obviously a foah rollercoaster. S4 they were so oddly closed off but overall there is certainly some romantic tension.

idw i always assumed that it would probably be noah to develope a crush on Finn first

BUT BUT BUT when i saw older videos.....oh boy! What came to me as a surprise that Finn had a much much bigger crush on Noah from the start, and it was def. showing. he seemed jealous of milli (perhaps because he wasn't able to decode whether noahxmilli is friendship or otherwise), felt protective of noah, defending why his character is at the core of the show, despising when they were called brothers and ofcourse desire to be around him. and most importantly....he is always very much in control of himself when Noah was not in interview with the group but whenever he was there finn's mood was so different. he seemed more real, nicer version of himself and that was so fucking cute i wanted to die.

sure Noah too checked him out multiple times, staring finn uninterruptedly. flirting back etc. so it was always very much a mutual thing.

i think they keep it downlow. i totally respect that. Your thoughts on this.

Thank you!! I'm really glad to have created a little spot where we can have fun and be rational and not judge one another. Away from the spotlight which I think is appropriate for this topic - but it's not some huge, evil that needs to be maligned and made so taboo. I think blogging as done here is pretty private. You wouldn't want to openly discuss it everywhere over social media where the press and unkind people linger. I think observing people is interesting. Celebrities are interesting. It's romance, it's reading between the lines, it's analyzing what's in front of you, it's seeing two people you like and might admire and think have incredible chemistry and just think that they could or do have something - and hoping you've got it right.

It's really funny, because very early on in my super young days in fandom started with a celeb ship and I haven't really engaged much with this stuff in many years - and ST is now the most emotionally dramatic and immersive fandom experience I've had since and here we go again! Back to my roots.

Interesting that so many have given the impression that something flipped during the season 3 promo. Seems to be a common thread. Also interesting when people say that Finn seems to be the one crushing first - I don't really have an opinion one way or another, though I do agree that certain things in some stuff from the season 3 era and previous do give some vibes. I've observed the somewhat jealous tension with that trio though - it's pretty apparent at times, even beyond any crush. Good insights though, enjoyed your read of the situation!

This kind of stuff I think appeals to many, even beyond a romantic sap like me who's just enamored by the general concept of relationships, because it is investigative and a little like tracking clues to unveil a mystery. As long as we're just observing and interpreting what's right before our eyes and not being intrusive and invading their actual lives - what's so wrong about it? You know who's in the wrong? Paparazzi who hound celebrities and stalker "stans" who follow them to their homes and press that print disparaging shit and people who harass them online. That's wrong. Loving a celebrity and following their lives / career and analyzing interviews and shared content and finding the idea of a relationship compelling isn't wrong when you think about it.

[itsclydebitches]

With all the discussion of CRWBY/RT's apparent obsession with heroic sacrifices in RWBY as of late (and how poorly framed/managed they are), a part of me can't help but wonder if they're trying to chase the high of Epsilon/Church's sacrifice at the end of Red VS Blue Season 13. (Here's the scene in question for context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5jM_mrOqec) Which I will admit, I found to be a pretty good scene as a sendoff to the character and at the time thought it was a nice way to end the show. Though RT ended up souring it by continuing on with season 15.

Thank you for the clip! I obviously have no idea what RT's motivations might be regarding the prevalence of these sacrifices - is it "chasing the high" or is RvB just early evidence of a writing trend? - but regardless, I like this a whole lot more than what RWBY's been giving us. I think this has a nice balance between the somber, emotional soundtrack and the funny one-liners that sound like they're core summaries of many character's personalities (unlike Weiss who suddenly becomes the comic relief). I like that Church (if I'm right about how is speaking there) doesn't actually end with "...I hate you all the least!" but has his actual goodbye speech once he's privately recording. I'm missing a ton of the nuances of his argument, but I like that it at least comes across as thought out: he's reassuring the AI voice that he's sure about this, he lays out how the sacrifice will hopefully help the others survive, he acknowledges that he's only here in the first place because of them, and there's some element of being "held back" that this sacrifice would do away with. Finally, I LOVE the self-referential acknowledgement that heroes don't get to see if their sacrifice was worth it (which is one of the problems with having Penny die and then chat with Winter, or Ruby drinking the tea and then waking up fine in the tree: suicide presented as just a journey where you don't really lose your connection to life), ending with the blank screen. We don't get to know if they win either! We are emotionally connected to Church in this moment, experiencing the story through him, and like him we don't get the reassurance of knowing whether the others survived! (Well, until you hit Season 14, apparently lol). You've just gotta have faith that the sacrifice meant something - "aint that a bitch."

And all this, I want to stress, is coming from someone who has NEVER watched more than like two episodes of RvB,which I've now totally forgotten. This scene is the entirety of my context... and I enjoyed it. Which I bring up largely because of the Moistcritikal drama. Personally, I take issue with the idea that someone's negative opinion of a clip is unreliable because they haven't seen the rest of the show. Does that mean then that my enjoyment is unreliable too? Most RWBY fans wouldn't say so because, after all, why would you get mad about others agreeing with you? They're only up in arms because he was critical of the show, rather than praising it, despite both situations stemming from the same ignorance. To say nothing of the fact that criticism is dismissed even when fans (like me) do keep up with the canon, a ton of the side material, are immersed in fandom, and are present for every major development. Doing everything "right," apparently, still doesn't earn you any trust in your opinion, so... why was all that necessary again?

I do believe that context (for obvious reasons) can severely skew an opinion one way or another. For example, I recently saw a new Magnus Archives listener saying that although they were loving the podcast, it really took them out of it to try and believe that all these people just happened to write down perfectly composed, poetic narratives about their experiences. I so wanted to say that there was a reason for this. That, eventually, the podcast would reveal a canonical explanation for how this occurs, taking what's originally a huge aspect of suspension of disbelief - arguably to the point of annoyance - and reframing it as a major worldbuilding detail that enhances the enjoyment instead of detracting from it. So there are obviously cases like that, just like I might enjoy the RvB scene more or less depending on my experience with the rest of the show... but that doesn't mean my enjoyment now is wrong? Nor is Moistcritikal's lack of enjoyment wrong. I find the 'Oh, you just don't understand and you're willingness to speak on the topic without every scrap of information is insulting' to be, itself, a pretty insulting response. This desire to invalidate someone's honest opinion of what they've been given is an issue on its own, but beyond that, a good show should be able to read well even without the rest of the context. Hasn't anyone ever analyzed a clip of a show in school that they enjoyed? Gotten excited over an ambiguous moment in a trailer? Decided to watch something based on just a video/GIF-set here on tumblr with no other info? Good media is good even when you don't fully know what's going on and bad media will read badly without the distraction of already being emotionally connected to the show. Toss in the fact that people can pick up a fair bit of context from the scenes themselves and that Moistcritikal had fans in the chat explaining the situation. People can still look at a clip and think the dialogue is badly written, or the acting shoddy, or the animation poor, or the whole conflict - once explanations are given - to be pretty badly conveyed. None of this takes an intimate knowledge of nine Volumes to develop an opinion on. Moistcritikal might miss character dynamic details like Yang standing in front of a passive Blake to 'protect' her from her little sister, but he can still respond to the general gist of the situation and the ways in which it was executed.

[animehouse-moe]

The Ancient Magus' Bride S2 Episode 2: Birds Of A Feather Flock Together II

A newer studio taking on an established product is a fickle thing. The slightest changes create ripples as you go. Whether those turn into waves or die out before they can reach land I couldn't say, but I think so far this second season under Kafka has been subject to turbulence through these early episodes.

I think the largest culprits are ability and direction. The second episode was far weaker than today's in terms of direction, but today's isn't without its shortcomings. There's a large presence of CGI today, but the direction can really help with it given how its used. That said, I still stand by my earlier statement on a prior episode - Kafka is overzealous with their limited production capabilities, and the CGI is the easiest way to see that.

The cafeteria scene is an odd but good example of it. CGI pervades almost the entirety of it through the background students. In most scenes (like this one) you won't really notice it. The trick they use is that the first layer of the background is 2D students, but past that you get into 3D. Take a look at the brown haired student on the right edge of the screen, they're 2D. Then, look at the student just slightly to their left in the background with the blonde hair, they're CGI. In moments like this it's not bad at all, but the issue lies in its introduction.

Ambition outweighs experience and they aim for an excessive cut of showing the life of the cafeteria, where you get a good look at the fact that everybody is CGI. It leaves a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth since it wasn't something that was required, and their 3D work is not up to par.

Moving on from complaints, there's also a lot of good direction this episode, most of which centers around perspective and Terasawa's penchant for odd angles. I really like how they approach it because it changes rather static conversation and interaction into very strong perspective pieces that focus on scale.

And then there's pieces like this that take perspective as a literal sentiment. There's quite a few of them throughout the episode and it's quite enjoyable that they express the emotions and thoughts of characters like Chise and Elias without showing their faces. In a way, it reminds me of how Visual Novels approach their layouts, making sure the user feels immersed and engaged in the content, though in this case it's putting us in Chise's position.

Now, one thing I really wish they stuck longer with was this camera angle. I'm a sucker for wide and full shots, so I was really hoping to see the table engage in dinner and interaction through a single cut. I also think it would have worked really well in concert with Chise's experience with it. Plenty going on, almost too much to follow as you find out what everyone's like. But, I do understand the limitations that are in place with Kafka, so I don't really mind that much.

Moving on once more, Kafka's work and interest in intense lighting through highlights and shadows is really great, it adds a lot of drama and emotion to scenes like this. Plus, the character posing and work is really great to create a sort of disturbing feel to the scene despite the character featured being the one afraid of Chise and Elias (saying that they're "not human", even though their character design features snake eyes).

I guess to put a bow on the technical side of things, there's a lot more creativity with this episode than the prior (though there's also more potential for it). Regardless of that though, Kafka and Terasawa are reaching for concepts beyond their means, which is a commendable thing as they attempt to push their creative ability, but I don't think the place to do so is on the continuation of a series. And just before I move on, I just want to share some of the great shots and symbolism that stipple the episode.

They use birds rather frequently in an outdoor sequence to represent Chise and Elias and I think it's pretty cute/well done.

And this cut of Narcisse reaching out to touch Chise on her shoulder is really well done. The best animated work on this episode is absolutely the character expression. In that sense, I'd love to see Kafka go for a slice of life as a follow up to their work on Maho Yome.

Alright, with that out of the way it's time for the story. I really like this episode for what it establishes with both sides of Chise. I think one of my favorite pieces is the obsession with her eyes. The episode frequently makes use of that and separates Chise into herself and Joseph. Really great work in that regard that produces scenes like this.

Of course, the whole episode isn't just Chise, Elias is there as well. And what I really like about this is that they examine the relationship between the world's two rarest mages by giving us the stories of other pairings within the world. We've been getting stuff about Alice and Renfred, but today we get the beginnings of Rian and Tory's relationship. It makes it far easier to understand the workings of our main pairing by cross-examining them through others, like we get to do in this scene where Alice and Chise visit (or rather, find) Renfred and Elias.

It's really great to see them explore Chise and Elias' relationship in this fashion because it helps give a frame of reference. Mages and magic make for a mysterious world, so giving viewers more detail really puts into perspective the idiosyncrasies you might not otherwise pick up on, and that the characters themselves are most certainly unable to express.

Saying that, I really enjoy listening to the ways that Elias comes up with expressing emotions. Always odd but definitely understandable in their own fashion.

Getting going again, just a little piece that I left out, but I really enjoy how Chise views the world, and within the context of this season, school. She's always looking for out for people that she can relate to, and you can tell from the story that she feels empathetic for Lucy and Philomela. It's a nice piece to keep in so that we don't get too absorbed in the more uppity and passive nature that Chise expressed this episode. Sure, she can make friends and be happy and things can go smoothly, but that doesn't erase her personality and desire to reach out a hand to those in need.

Also, forgive me if it's already been stated, but are Lucy and Philomela sisters? The resemblance is very strong I feel.

And I guess that brings me to the end of my train of thought. I vastly preferred this to the prior episode, but it's clear to see why with how much more digestible content there is within. There's more for viewers to take in, and there's more for the staff to be creative with. I think if this is the level of quality that MahoYome rests around for the rest of the season I'll be pretty happy, but I'd be somewhat concerned if we begin to sink into the not-so-great work on episode 2.

[thirtheenprimes]

On one hand I love pre-Christian religions and mythologies, their holidays and practices and all of it is interesting. Especially historically Gaelic stuff because I've got a lot of ancestors from there and even though I have negative connection to them or the culture, I still think it's neat and I love it.

On the other hand I am unbelievably autistic for astronomy and the modern scientific seasons don't mesh exactly with ancient Gaelic seasons.

So happy Beltain to those who care. Have a wonderful first day of summer even though we're in the middle of spring. Based off my research I'm chalking the discrepancy up to precession (the slow wobble of the earth over the course of centuries that move the seasons around) and ancient Gaelic societies casting more about the natural world and weather patterns than technical orientations of the earth and its tilt when determining seasons. And honestly, every unique climate and geophraphical location experiences different seasons.

But also, modern Earth can't just say this is the first day of summer! At least acknowledge that isn't quite accurate in the modern world. The middle of spring is definitely way more full of life than the beginning of spring, but it's still spring these days. I think this calendar shift can also explain why the summer solstice is commonly celebrated as the middle of summer even though it's the first day of summer.

Idk, I love celebrating the earth and her natural world, the seasons, and all of that, and I love historical holidays and celebrations, but I get pulled out of the immersion when the first of May is celebrated as the first day of summer.

Its like the difference between geographical north and magnetic north, or between enjoying a fun movie about fairies and getting hung up on them showing a full moon on the horizon when the plot says its almost midnight. Or saying the thumb isn't a finger because it is anatomically different from the rest of your fingers even though language was created for day to day functioning before science and this the thumb is functionally a finger.

Honestly, ignore this because belting actually being the beginning of summer and putting the solstice as the mid point would make so much sense too. Then the 'dog days' of summer (when Sirius the brightest star which happens to be in canis major the big dog is first visible in the early morning, lining up with the flooding of the Nile, the hottest days of summer, and the beginning of harvest season in lots of places in the ancient world) would be near the end of summer.

So yeah, happy Beltain for anyone who cares.

[laegel-the-druid]

Hey everyone!

It's probably a bit early to start posting, but I'm way too excited! I'm new. Very new. I'm new to everything I will be doing here.

I'm new to Tumblr, I'm new to writing, I'm new to roleplay, I'm new to World of Warcraft... (yes I know, I'm very late) but here I am! Starting a new blog about my main character on WOW, Laegel.

I started playing this game last weekend, and I'm already in love with it. Actually, I already played it after Pandaria been released, but only few months unfortunately, and it was so long ago. But Wow never really left my mind, and I'm glad to get to play it again, and for a long run!

For now I'm playing all alone, and even tho I hope making new friends during this fantasystic journey, it's probably not a bad thing. I feel like I don't have a very common gameplay, even more for a MMORPG. Every other players that I have encountered so far are just so fast, rushing the quests, and hurry to level up. At the opposite I'm looking for an immersive experience, taking the time to read the quests, and listening to the PNJ, trying to understand the world I'm getting in, slowly building my character personality and background, and roleplaying by my own. (If you're also this kind of gamer just let me know please... I mean, I can't be the only one) I feel like I'm more a season 1, or level 1 type I should say, than an end-game enthusiast, even tho I can't be so sure of that as I never experimented the end-game of Wow.

I've always been interested about roleplaying, but never really had the gut to start despite the opportunity I got in the past. It may sounds stupid but I always felt like it was something mystical with a billion rules that I wasn't aware of, and so I won't be good at it in any ways. I mean, of course there are rules, and I don't want to be an annoyance for the other roleplayers or ruin their experience, but there's nothing so unrealizable or out of my reach either.

I'd like to say the same for writing. You will probably notice that English is not my native language, and my writing skills are far from being good, but I really do that for myself, experimenting new things and have some fun during the process! I'm not really thinking that anyone would read my blog anyway, but if you ever do, please remember that I'm just starting and be indulgent with me. I am also very open to any constructive criticism that would help me to improve! And if you are also a Wow player willing to play with me, feel free to contact me, I will be glad to meet you in Azeroth as well!

Lyra~

[dustedmagazine]

Justin Cober-Lake’s 2024 Year-End Essay

Adeem the Artist

2024 had its downsides, meaning most of it. It's hard not to feel pessimistic these days. Between the global political chaos and inexorable personal grind (a function of this stage of life, working, parenting, and the like), little feels straightforward or easy. Maybe that's why my tastes this year have veered toward more accessible sounds, even if not necessarily simpler or easier ones. I've veered somewhat from the more experimental or deep-listening end of my tastes toward more classic songwriting. None of it really worked as a balm, but much of it offered immediate entry to someone amid a hectic, harried season. Music can exist just to be music, but — intended by the listener or not — it also has its uses. For me, much of that experience in 2024 revolved around immersion in worlds most accessible to me.

Many of these albums came from the Americana genre, not surprisingly. Adeem the Artist and Sierra Ferrell offered the two most indelible records. On Anniversary, Adeem's delivers their characters studies through an array of rootsy styles, showing as much skill at country-pop as folk or even spoken-word. Ferrell's Trail of Flowers likewise moves through a range of styles, though largely sticking to more old-timey sounds. Her “American Dreaming” might be the best song of the year, rivaled in large part by other cuts on the record. Artists like Billy Strings and Hurray for the Riff Raff fit in here, too, with storytelling and personal meditation reaching new peaks.

It wasn't just the younger roots artists releasing great records this year. Willie Nelson released two discs worthy of year-end consideration. I'll give a slight edge to The Border over Last Leaf on the Tree, in large part because of the former's directness. It's not a Big Contemplation of Mortality (which is what Willie's been doing for a while), but it's just an album, and a really good one. Jerry Douglas continues to outplay everyone else with The Set. Steve Earle continues to out...Steve Earle everyone else, and his solo live album Alone Again (Live) presents him as immediately has he's ever been on record, just as it should be (at least this year). Bittersweetly, his son Justin Townes Earle has one of the year's other best releases, the posthumous collection All In: Unreleased & Rarities (The New West Years), a collection that works far better than the usual odds and ends compilation.

It's not just the traditional (ish – there are some real oddballs in those last two paragraphs) songwriters that carried me through the year. Green Day shocked me by releasing their best album since at least American Idiot. I haven't paid much attention to them, or pop-punk in general, in ages, but Saviors hit, and I'm not convinced that doesn't say more about my year than it does about their art, but I don't really care either way. Coupling “The American Dream Is Killing Me” with Ferrell's best work gets you a good start on an American Dream playlist. It might be fitting for a country in utter disarray. I also found myself unexpectedly taken with the Decemberists' As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again. The title sums up everything off-putting about the band, but they've written a set of songs that stands with the best they ever done, and maybe their weird sort of journeying makes for a perfect trip right now.

I reach back even further for three other artists who informed by year, two of whom are always on my radar and one of whom took me completely by surprise. The latter is the Cure. I've never listened much, being just a little young and decidedly not goth enough for their peak era. I didn't expect to care about Songs of a Lost World but played it out of curiosity and immediately became a favorite, maybe because of its immersive sonic qualities. Kim Gordon's The Collective soundtracked my late winter and early spring, my post-covid recovery and wilderness drives (literally, as in going to the mountains and not having a dark night of the soul, though it might work for that, too). Finally, Nick Cave put out the year's most essential record, Wild God, a broad study on joy and revelation and all the big questions. If much of my listening in 2024 got me down to precise characters and specific narratives, Cave's role was to open up all the possibilities.

Of course, the year isn't even over yet and it's just an arbitrary chunk of listening time, and I'm still trying to sort out last-minute finds like Foxing's self-titled or Geordie Greep's The New Sound. That just gives me an excuse for not really knowing how to wrap up 2024. I don't expect anything to change a few weeks from now, even if Cave suggests the power of epiphany or Nelson reminds me about the power of endings. So for now, here's the 15 albums from 2024 that stuck out for me (listed alphabetically):

Adeem the Artist— Anniversary

Ambrose Akinmusire — Owl Song

Nick Cave — Wild God

The Cure — Songs of A Lost World

Decemberists — As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again

Justin Townes Earle — All In: Unreleased & Rarities (The New West Years)

Steve Earle — Alone Again (Live)

Sierra Ferrell — Trail of Flowers

Kim Gordon — The Collective

Green Day — Saviors

Hurray for the Riff Raff — The Past Is Still Alive

Vijay Iyer — Compassion

Willie Nelson — The Border

Billy Strings — Highway Prayers

Yasmin Williams — Acadia

[linuxgamenews]

Exploring Lamang Island: The Night Ops Update of Gray Zone Warfare

Gray Zone Warfare open-world extraction shooter game unleashes the Night Ops update on Linux via Windows PC. Thanks to the brilliant minds at MADFINGER Games for keeping the creativity flowing. Which you can find on both Steam Early Access and Humble Store. Buckle up because Gray Zone Warfare just released its Night Ops update, and it’s a game-changer. If you’ve been exploring Lamang Island, get ready for a whole new level of action, tension, and tactical gameplay. The update is full of great features, most of them shaped by the community's feedback. So, yeah, this one’s for us. Along with an insight into Linux support.

...we don’t have a native Linux version of the game, but Gray Zone Warfare can be played through a compatibility layer (likely Proton).

Gray Zone Warfare open-world extraction shooter has been in Early Access since late April. This also means we’ll need to rely on Proton. Still, I’m eager to see how the title evolves with Unreal Engine 5. Fingers crossed that Steam Play support makes its way to the Steam Deck too. But for now, let's talk about Night Ops.

Fresh Starts and Better Gameplay

First off, there's a progression reset. Everyone's starting fresh, so now’s your chance to dive back in and prove your skills. The map? It’s bigger and better, with tons of new spots to check out. Whether you’re hunting for keys, chasing quests, or grabbing loot, there’s way more to discover. And let’s talk about landing zones (LZs). No more long waits—there are more LZs now, cutting down the downtime and keeping you in the action. Combine that with smarter AI, and you’ll find every encounter a bit more unpredictable and exciting.

Gray Zone Warfare: Night Ops Launch Trailer

A Whole New Nightlife

Night missions are where the magic really happens. With the cover of darkness and night vision gear, the vibe on Lamang Island hits different. It’s immersive, intense, and packed with tactical challenges. Managing fear and keeping your cool under pressure has never felt more real. Every mission feels fresh, like stepping into uncharted territory.

Community-Powered Features

The developers listened to the Gray Zone Warfare community, and it shows. Here’s what’s new:

7 new weapons to add to your arsenal (because who doesn’t love more firepower?).

A smoother inventory system so you can manage gear without headaches.

An upgraded health panel that keeps you in the loop about your condition during firefights.

Faction chat and new social tools to make teaming up (and staying safe from trolls) way easier.

Realism Meets Survival

If you’re new to Gray Zone Warfare, this is your sign to jump in. It’s the first open-world extraction shooter that blends realism with survival. Deploy with a Private Military Company and face off against other players and AI enemies in intense PvEvP or PvE battles. The stakes are high, the rewards are sweet, and the island’s mysteries will keep you hooked.

Limited-Time Discount for Gray Zone Warfare!

Now’s the perfect time to grab the game. Until December 4th, the base version is 20% off via Steam Early Access. Dropping the price to $27.99 USD / £23.60 / $27.99. Plus, all editions — Standard, Tactical, Elite, and Supporter — come with upgraded content that’s worth every penny. But full cost on Humble Store though. So, what are you waiting for? Whether you’re a seasoned player or new to Gray Zone Warfare, the Night Ops update has something for everyone. Gear up, drop in, and dominate the darkness. Which is playable on Linux via Proton with Windows PC. And yes, this release also uses Easy Anti-Cheat (I know). Which is why I'm hoping for better Linux support as well as Steam Deck. Since it's due to remain in Early Access for "several years".

[maplegracefour]

Shut Up and Drive | Part Three

Summary: the season kicks off with the Bahrain GP and Schlatt talks to you about Ted

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Word Count: ~1700

Author's Note: AHHHHH I really struggled with this one but I'm pretty happy with it. enjoyyyy :))

Previous parts on my Masterlist here

Your job is going well, the team likes you, well minus one key player. But you can work with that. Life would be too easy if everyone liked you, and messing around with Ted is much more fun.

Speaking of, Ted is eyeing you up from the corner of the room, it’s the night before the first race of the season and the team is convening in the hotel bar. You raise an eyebrow, leaning against the wall as some other engineer talks to you about water cooling, you don’t really care.

Ted turns away for a moment and you try to fully immerse yourself in the conversation, knowing exactly what’s about to happen.

As if working by clockwork, your phone buzzes.

Ted [21:45] you think we can slip away for half hour? ;)

You smirk down at your phone, biting down on your bottom lip.

You [21:46] your room in 10 minutes

You politely remove yourself from the conversation once Ted is out of sight, quickly walking out the bar and through the lobby to the elevators. Though before you can make it someone grabs your arm and pulls you back.

“Not so fast.” Schlatt’s voice calmly murmurs from behind you as you turn to face him. “You’re not going up there.”

“Are you serious?” You glare, pulling your arm out of his grip.

He scoffs, staring you down. “It’s the first race of the season, can’t have you or him being distracted.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You respond, putting a hand on your hip. “How do you know I wasn’t just going up to my own room to sleep?”

He gives you an unimpressed look. “You two have been eye-fucking each other all day, I’m not stupid. But I seem to be the only one that’s noticed.” He rolls his eyes. “But you know, with Ted, you’re not the first and you sure as hell won’t be the last.”

Your eyebrows furrow, tilting your head. “Why are you telling me this?”

He sighs, running his hand over his face. “I just don’t want shitty drama filling up my season. There’s enough pressure already.” He pauses for a moment before continuing. “It’s not the first time.”

You frown. “Not the first?”

He scoffs again, looking you up and down. “Ted’s got a reputation. He finds a pretty girl, rails her all season and then chucks them out when he’s bored of them.”

Did he just call you pretty? You push the thought away, finally looking up to meet his eyes. You’re unsure what to say, the breath catching in your throat.

“To be honest, I don’t care if he hurts your feelings. But if you let it affect my races, I will not let you live it down.” He’s staring you down, arms casually crossed over his chest as he leans against the wall. 

He pushes himself off the wall and towards the elevators, you find yourself compelled to follow him. You stand in the elevator silently as it starts to move upwards, the tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife. In order to distract yourself, you pull out your phone and type in a message to Ted.

You [21:53] Sorry, raincheck tonight. Not feeling well

You can see a slight movement in your peripheral vision but when you turn, Schlatt is staring at the wall. He was definitely reading your phone over your shoulder, but you don’t say anything. As you exit the elevator and head in separate directions, you swear you can see Schlatt smirking.

It’s race day. Oh God, it’s race day.

You can’t help but feel a deep pit of anxiety in your stomach as you wake up. Early wake ups aren’t your strong suit but taking the extra time to prepare yourself for the day made them worth it.

As you make your way into David’s car, you realise Schlatt is sat in the back, leg bouncing nervously. You didn’t thing it was even possible for that man to get nervous. He’s staring out the window, not even paying attention to you as you climb into the car.

“Ready.” You murmur to David and he pulls off, driving to the track.

Walking into the Bahrain International Circuit, the fact that you’re actually here feels unreal. You cannot believe you actually made it here. But the awe quickly wears off as you walk into the bustling room of busy people. You notice Ted and it’s clear he’s trying to grab your attention but the memory of your conversation with Schlatt last night is vivid in your mind as you walk straight past him and into Schlatt’s drivers room.

“Hey,” You say quietly, nervous about disturbing his peace. He’s sat with his hands clasped together, staring down at the floor. “Got you this.” You tell him quietly, holding out a pre-prepared smoothie you had picked up for him on the way. “David said you didn’t get breakfast.”

He looks up, he looks scary like this. You keep the smoothie held out in front of you whilst he stares at you like you’ve grown a second head. Slowly, he takes the smoothie from your hand. “Sorry, David had to take a phone call, so you’ve got me for now.” You tell him, unsure where you stand after last night. “Do you need anything?”

“Quiet.” He responds quickly. “I need quiet.”

You nod, stepping back and leaning against the counter. You keep yourself silent, watching him carefully. He’s bouncing his leg again, but occasionally sipping on that smoothie. You look out the window, hearing the crowds starting to gather. You’re not surprised that he’s nervous, but you know he’s a talented driver. He’s starting in pole position in a car that is the fastest you’ve ever seen. If you look at the facts, he really has nothing to worry about.

As the race draws closer, Schlatt goes to get weighed and changed. You make your way to the pit wall, finding David also looking as nervous as Schlatt is.

“David,” You greet him, sitting down beside him as he’s checking over the screens. “Everything okay..?”

“Oh, hey.” He says, giving you a sheepish smile. “All good. Just setting up, Schlatt okay?”

You shrug. “First race jitters.”

David laughs as you pull on your headset. You can see Schlatt getting into his car and David checking over his buttons. “You feeling good, Schlatt?”

“As good as I can be.” You hear his deep voice grumble through your headset. You give Tucker a small wave from across your monitor set up and he waves back.

The race starts and you lock in, keeping your eyes on the stats as the numbers go crazy. You’re gripping your pen so tight as Schlatt manages to keep his lead, multiple seconds ahead of the driver in second place. You have faith in him, personal gripes aside.

The next hour and a half, you don’t think you have ever felt tension like it. Schlatt is doing incredibly well, so well that when he passes that finish line it feels like no time has passed at all. “Amazing job, Schlatt. Excellent driving.” David tells him through the radio. You’re unsure why but it seems like David is distracted, but you aren’t willing to press him on it. You just follow behind him as he heads down to the pit.

Schlatt is celebrating with the rest of the team, you give him a small smile as he passes you and he responds with a curt nod, though for once you’re seeing him smile.

You feel pride swell in your chest, knowing you’re now part of the team that gets to do this feels incredibly gratifying.

“You did a great job today.” You tell Schlatt when in the car back to the hotel.

He looks up, seemingly much more relaxed than he was this morning. “My turns were off, I was faster on that track last year, and one of the McLaren’s got the fastest lap.”

You frown, turning to face him from the passenger seat. “You literally won the entire GP and you’re upset about the fastest lap?”

He rolls his eyes, not responding to you and just leaning back. He stares out the window for the rest of the ride and you settle back into your seat. David is unusually quiet.

When you make your way back to the hotel, you’re practically ambushed by Ted in the lobby as David and Schlatt walk ahead, to their respective rooms.

“Ted.” You say, a nervous smile on your face. “Great driving today.” You tell him, brushing your hair from your face.

“Thanks pretty girl.” He says, leaning against the wall in front of you. “I might not have made it to the podium today but it’s alright because I knew I had a better prize when I got back here.” He smirks, looking you up and down.

An awkward laugh escapes your lips. “Maybe not tonight, Ted. Sorry.” His smirk falters, confused as to where this sudden rejection is coming from.

“Has something happened?” He asks you.

“No, no. I just uh…” You look around the room, anywhere but his face. “I’m just exhausted. It’s been a long day.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” Ted nods, standing up straighter. “No worries. See you tomorrow”

You can’t help but feel bad. It’s clear that Ted isn’t rejected often, so when it happens it’s clearly a bruise to his ego. You watch him disappear before making your way to your own room.

You lay face first on the freshly cleaned hotel bed, the adrenaline of the day finally escaping your body as soon as you feel those line sheets. You don’t pull yourself off it for at least ten minutes until your phone buzzing grabs your attention.

Unknown Number [19:56] What was in that smoothie?

You [19:56] Schlatt?

Unknown Number [19:57] Got your number off David. Smoothie?

You can’t help but chuckle as you change Schlatt’s contact name on your phone. Maybe he doesn’t hate you that much after all?

You [19:58] Blueberry and banana with french vanilla

Schlatt [19:59] thanks 

PART FOUR HERE

[wilheminalibrary]

11/29/2023

At the End of the Tunnel is More Tunnel: Week 3 of the November Writing Challenge

I was spending Thanksgiving last week with my family, and, for our last meal together, we went out to a Scandinavian restaurant. For immersive ambience, the TVs in the place played footage of trains going through the Icelandic countryside. For a significant portion of the meal the train was making its way through the inside of a mountain, rolling the frightening dark of a tunnel, lit by intermittent overhead track lights. When it finally cleared the tunnel, my mom and sister and I celebrated a return of the sky. Then, my mother gestured with her beer. “Oh look another tunnel.”

That’s what it’s felt like lately. I had a whole other blog post planned, but here we are. I won’t mince words with you all. I'm making an effort here to write with no filter, with no plan beyond a simple topic: Seasonal Affective Disorder is kicking my ass. I shouldn't be surprised, since it's managed to do this every year since I was a child, but here I am. Defenseless. Worse still is that the dark seems to know it. With each passing year the winters feel longer and meaner, their ribbons of ink-black shadows forming into teeth. I'm losing energy as the black bat of Winter bites through my neck and bleeds me out. Poems are coming slower, I'm behind on this putting this blog post up, and all my efforts have the distinct musical quality of mining from a tapped vein. This blog post is a full six days late due to Thanksgiving and travel stress, and the poems are actively clotting.

This is most often where I stumble during a writing challenge like this. It's the home stretch where everything kind of slows down, like I burned too much fuel on liftoff and, without the necessary momentum when I break orbit, I just drift off completely. I can feel myself drifting. But more than that, more than the work, I can feel my body retreating into itself, conserving itself, pulling away from socializing and other activities that restore me.

But we go on, don't we? We weather this for what it is: weather. It comes and bellows and roars and blows like the lowest moment of King Lear. It singes my white head, it drenches my steeples and drowns my cocks and all its germains spill at once. But I have my small shelter. I have my small fool. I have my Tom O' Bedlam. Let me introduce them.

One thing I've been doing with my dwindling energy is reading. When the writing won't come, there is always the looming stack of books I've yet to read. Currently, I'm chipping away at Robert Doran's translation of The Lives of Simeon Stylites a collection of three different accounts of the the early Christian mystic's life and ministry. The man lived most of his life, if the accounts are to be believed, atop a sixty foot tall pillar with no shelter or support. It comforts me the way faith and frenzy twirl around each other like a binary star. With distance they appear to be the same light winking in and out. For someone who loves body horror and the flesh and Christian aesthetics, why I had never thought to look into the saints is a cosmic oversight. It took my girlfriend (who has a fucking tattoo of Simeon) telling me about him for me to chase down the accounts. It's been soothing. Atop his pillar, performing his self-imposed penance for the sin of his existence, Simeon gave counsel, offered sermons, blessed crops and warded off savage animals with the help of his god. As I trudge through this last gasp of my self-imposed writing challenge, I can only hope to capture that same grace.

Too offset this onslaught of occasionally dry religious text, I've got a healthy arsenal of poetry to catch up on, beginning with Sean Patrick Mulroy's fearless collection Hated for the Gods. Equal parts a queer oral history and an intimate crawling tour of intimacy. Mulroy's work is a constant subversion of expectation. In deftly switching from the current to the primordial to more recent history, the book seems to assert that queerness and the rage that ripples off the page like heat waves are eternal. We have always been here. While still figuring out my gender and for my adolescence, I identified as a bisexual man, but quietly. While the mainstream perception of queer media is loud, brazen, and unapologetic, Mulroy's work leaves room for quieter moments and voices too. It's a fascinating book that demonstrates the depth and scope of a topic that a lot of culture tries to reduce to one note.

And, because I simply cannot be stopped, I'm reading Natalie Tatou's new collection S.M.D.H. Tatou writes like the the orderlies are on their way. Every story in the collection scrambles and scrapes together its contraband and crams them onto the page. Incest, violence, sexual taboos, and more all come to abject life in Tatou's writing, their radioactivity tempered by an attentive hunger to be understood. The book howls for connection and understanding, clawing at the my eyes so that I may better see its truths. I'm not very far into the book, weighed as it is against my mystic and Mulroy's poetry, but I can't help but feel grateful that such an electrifying book won't be over too quickly.

I'm still keeping more or less apace with my work, maybe a day or two behind at the time of writing, and I can feel the ugly dark behind me like a narcotic tentacle, but I'll do my best to finish what I've begun.

Until then, I'm reading. Until then, I'm writing. Until then, I am always doing my exhausted and darkening best. I can see the end of the tunnel…I can look forward to seeing the sky, at least until the next one.

Yours with an open mouth,

-B