#I'm used to getting pms symptoms but not this badly...

[meownotgood]

currently suffering from the worst pms I've ever had in my entire life sorry for being inactive....

[zoeykallus]

Hi there! I love your headcanons and I was wondering if I could make a personal request. Let me know if this is a no-go.

I have PMDD, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, basically PMS [premenstrual syndrome] but 20x worse. It usually resolves upon the onset of the crimson wave. But not all the time.

I have been struggling really badly with the deep depression, insomnia, and self-image issues brought on by my disorder.

Do you think we can see how the Batch handles their fem reader S/O struggling with this disorder specifically? And maybe, if it's not too much, a part 2 with some of our favorite regs?

Thank you so much!

Aloha my dear!

Oh, this is a heavy hitter, I know where you are coming from. So many people out there have no idea how freaking much this can affect someone's life. PMS is already a hard thing to deal with, but PMDD brings it to yet another really shitty level. Don't worry, I got you 😊

The Bad Batch x Afab!Reader HCs - Struggling With PMDD

Warnings: Mention of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and its symptoms /Hurt/Comfort/Fluff

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AC: I'm using Techs Part first to introduce PMDD and its symptoms to those who might not know what it is. So don't be surprised about Tech's Part being longer than the others, there is a lot of information in there. So please read Tech's part, to understand what this is all about 😊

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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

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Tech

The first experiences he has with you in this context are frightening for him. Apart from the fact that you suddenly seem like a completely different person to him, he is really worried about you. But Tech wouldn't be Tech if he didn't get to the bottom of this.

It takes him a little while to find the right material.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a much more severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). It may affect women of childbearing age. It’s a severe and chronic medical condition that needs attention and treatment. Lifestyle changes and sometimes medicines can help manage symptoms.

The exact cause of PMDD is not known. It may be an abnormal reaction to normal hormone changes that happen with each menstrual cycle. The hormone changes can cause a serotonin deficiency. Serotonin is a substance found naturally in the brain and intestines that narrows blood vessels and can affect mood and cause physical symptoms.

What are the risk factors for PMDD?

While any woman can develop PMDD, the following may be at increased risk:

Women with a family history of PMS or PMDD  

Women with a personal or family history of depression, postpartum depression, or other mood disorders

Other possible risk factors include lower education and cigarette smoking

Talk with your healthcare provider for more information.

"Healthcare provider?" he mumbles softly between reading, "As if any of us have such a thing"

Symptoms of PMDD appear during the week before menstruation and end within a few days after your period starts. These symptoms disrupt daily living tasks. Symptoms of PMDD are so severe that women have trouble functioning at home, at work, and in relationships during this time. This is markedly different than other times during the month.

There is a chart with symptoms and he worriedly starts to read it.

The following are the most common symptoms of PMDD:

Psychological symptoms

Irritability

Nervousness

Lack of control

Agitation

Anger

Insomnia

Difficulty in concentrating

Depression

Severe fatigue

Anxiety

Confusion

Forgetfulness

Poor self-image

Paranoia

Emotional sensitivity

Crying spells

Moodiness

Trouble sleeping

Fluid retention

Swelling of the ankles, hands, and feet

Periodic weight gain

Diminished urine output

Breast fullness and pain

Respiratory problems

Allergies

Infections

Eye complaints

Vision changes

Eye infection

Gastrointestinal symptoms

Abdominal cramps

Bloating

Constipation

Nausea

Vomiting

Pelvic heaviness or pressure

Backache

Skin problems

Acne

Skin inflammation with itching

Aggravation of other skin disorders, including cold sores

Neurologic and vascular symptoms

Headache

Dizziness

Fainting

Numbness, prickling, tingling, or heightened sensitivity of arms and/or legs

Easy bruising

Heart palpitations

Muscle spasms

Other

Decreased coordination

Painful menstruation

Diminished sex drive

Appetite changes

Food cravings

Hot flashes

His brows are drawn together critically. With a heavy sigh, he says quietly to himself, "Oh boy…"

Tech makes it his business to see that you are examined by a proper doctor, given appropriate medication, and change your diet. He sometimes seems stern and matter-of-fact, but only when he notices you neglecting yourself. Tech also pampers you to counteract the psychological symptoms, with picnics, massages and the like.

Don't worry too much, Tech's got your back. He won't give up on you.

Hunter

His senses already tell him what connections exist with your condition. But of course he is not a doctor and therefore informs himself accordingly without your knowledge, Tech helps him. What he learns frightens him, Hunter is really worried, and he makes it his mission to make this time, these symptoms, easier for you. Apart from making sure you always have the medication you need at hand, he is also much more attentive and caring than usual during this time.

You can let yourself go and not have to worry about anything, Hunter takes everything in hand and has it under control. He is especially gentle and forgiving with you during this time. You mean a lot to him, and he does his absolute best to help you.

He doesn't argue with you when you get your moods, if you want to be alone he respects that, but keeps an eye on you from a safe distance, just in case.

Echo

This sweet man really throws himself into the task of helping you. Whether it's getting your medications, preparing food, massages, and running relaxing baths, Echo has it all covered.

With him by your side, you will want for nothing during this difficult time. He is also not easily scared away, he is as patient as he is stubborn. You don't have to go to the doctor alone, Echo will accompany you.

He organizes your medication, your diet and everything else you need, if you want. If you don't, you must tell him clearly, because Echo will automatically see his task in taking care of everything.

Wrecker

He is warm, and lively. Contrary to the expectations of most, he is also very sensitive and attentive. Of course, he does not miss the fact that something is wrong with you. Of course, he is worried and wants to help.

Talk to him honestly, try not to withdraw, and you will have a steadfast supporter and caretaker in Wrecker. He likes to spoil you, make sure you are taken care of and have your medication.

Wrecker is happy to adapt to you, you just need to communicate with him and let him know what you need. Taking care of you is very easy for him, he likes to do that. Knowing that he can make things easier for you is also good for him in this situation. So confide in him, there is absolutely no reason to pretend in front of him.

Crosshair

He is a bit more complicated at first. Of course, you are incredibly important to him, and he also has a certain empathy, but he often stands in his own way when it comes to emotional, interpersonal things.

At first, he can't really deal with it at all and is looking for some distance at this time. But in a small conversation between brothers, in which Hunter makes it clear to him that his behavior sooner or later can seriously damage your relationship, Crosshair first informs himself more precisely about the existing problem. Finally, he approaches you with the knowledge he has gathered and tries to discuss with you what you can do together as a couple, what he can do as your partner to make the whole thing easier for you.

You talk about medications, doctor visits, relaxation techniques, and home remedies to combat some symptoms. It doesn't take long for the two of you to work out a certain routine that you can both manage and that he can use to help you get through this time okay.

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

PMDD and ADHD: Part 2

Hi, everyone! Welcome back to my two part series on the way that PMDD and ADHD interact. If you didn't get a chance, I'd highly suggest reading part one so that you can get a closer look at ADHD, RSD, and how it affects women and afab individuals with periods.

Here are some other useful links:

Here is my post about the definition of PMDD, how it presents, other people's experience with PMDD, as well as my own experience

Here is my post detailing what OCD is and how it presents

Here is part two of that post discussing how PMDD and OCD interact (you can also read about Premenstrual Exacerbation, or PME, on this one)

Here is part one of my ADHD/PMDD series.

Here are some resources for supporting a loved one with PMDD, and for taking care of yourself.

I want to preface this by reminding everyone that these testimonials are purely anecdotal and should not be viewed as a confirmation of a connection between PMDD and ADHD, same goes for my post on OCD and PMDD. I am merely providing them as a way to take a look at how other people experience these disorders together from another, less clinical angle. I am not a scientist or a researcher in the traditional sense. However, I have lived with all three of these disorders for over a decade and have done a lot of research on this topic.

Now that we have that out of the way, let's get started.

Reddit

PMS + ADHD is an absolute nightmare

"I know, I know - we have this topic all the time. But just to add my voice to the choir, after like 200+ menstrual cycles, I'm still taken aback by how wildly disabling the couple of days before my period are. For context for the menfolk out there, estrogen fluctuations can badly exacerbate ADHD, and the pre-menstrual stage is the worst for this, mimicking symptoms of a serious mood disorder in some women. Case in point:

Despite knowing what's going on intellectually, I feel so deeply empty and hopeless. That depression elephant? Squarely on my chest. Crying every 10 minutes for no apparent reason/stream of quiet tears all day. Restraining myself from texting my friends/boyfriend/family because I just want to ramble about how incredibly shitty I feel and it's no one else's job to manage me. Juggling nonsense thoughts like "I should move to the woods"/"I should destroy all my relationships so no one has to deal with me"/"I should quit my job"/"I should move to another country." Feel completely incapable of focusing on anything - making food, drinking water, getting off the couch, let alone doing my job or anything remotely complex.

Some months are worse than others, and this one is particularly bad. Not really asking for advice, just needed to rant - I know the treatment options, and have tried some of them, but feel like it's mostly a matter of riding it out." -webdevq23

PMDD AND ADHD experience, tips, anything you’ve found to help

"I have PMDD and ADHD. I have work my best to get anything important finished before my cycle hits because I know I’m going to be about as useful as a loaf of bread. I take 20mg Prozac for it which helps a bit but I think I need to get my dose upped because I still struggle a lot. I take 30mg XR adderall daily, and around my period even if I take a double dose I still find it hardly works. I have panic disorder as well so I’m prescribed Xanax, which is also helpful for dealing with my PMDD. Yesterday I slept till 4pm, couldn’t drag myself out of bed until almost 6pm, only to mope around the house with absolutely no energy. Ended up binge eating Easter chocolates and crying in bed around midnight. The suicidal thoughts are my favorite part 😑 although I wouldn’t act on them & I know why they being caused it’s still miserable to experience. I don’t even track my periods, because my symptoms make it so obvious it’s on the way. I have to warn my family to stay away because I’m going to be a mega bitch & will snap over little things. Some months are better than other but this round is extra rough." -caffinatedcondom

Does anybody else struggle with PMDD and ADHD?

"Specifically, who else notices that their PMDD and rejection dysphoria makes life feel like literal hell for about a week and a half every month?

My periods have always been tough on me. Extreme mood swings, extreme irritability, all that stuff. It got a little better for a couple of years because I was working so hard at my old job I was too exhausted to be capable of much in the emotional department. When I quit that job a year and a half ago it started getting bad again and really started to reach its peak about 8 months ago- I was just spiraling out of control once a month and then I had to spend the next three months clawing my way back to normalcy until it happened again.

A friend of mine who was diagnosed with PMDD a few months before me suggested I look into that and lo and behold... Yep. Finally an answer to the problems I've been having for YEARS. So I started skipping the placebo weeks on my birth control and haven't had a period since Christmas and the change has been enormous?? I still struggle with the rejection sensitivity but it's not as out of control as it was, and I did have a pretty severe breakdown last week because I'd missed a couple of pills the week before, but I'm so glad I had somebody to point me in the right direction.

I don't really know what the point of this post is. I just wanted to see if there was anybody else here who struggles with this. Most of my friends don't know I have it because I feel like they'd just brush it off as me making an excuse (even though I do try to keep my brain problems in control, it can be hard when I'M not in control) and that it's "just PMS like everybody else deals with," even though my PMS comes with extreme ups and downs as well as the occasional suicidal ideation. I'm just tired of feeling alone in this." -anisthetic

PMDD and ADHD - Connected?

"I was thinking about my own experience with severe PMS, as it's affected me most of my life. A week or two before my period can be hell. Some months can be better than others, but this month has been a joyride yet again. And then I started to wonder how much of my PMDD could be linked to my ADHD, something I've only just been diagnosed with two months ago. I'm 22 years old.

My PMS is not normal. I suffer from anxiety and OCD (two very common disorders often going hand in hand with ADHD). But the PMS.. I get awful depression, constant crying, withdrawal from others, mood swings, constant cramping, the lot. And recently since being medicated with Ritalin I noticed that it doesn't work very well at all during the two weeks before my period.

So I started wondering, how many women are experiencing this? How many women could potentially have PMDD with undiagnosed ADHD, or ADHD with undiagnosed PMDD, and just have no clue as to why they are the way they are? Constantly feeling broken?

During this phase, estrogen levels are low. Estrogen has a huge affect on neurotransmitters, particularly dopamine. I've realised that when estrogen is low, my levels of dopamine may also be lower - hence my medication feeling like it's not doing anything. And I realised that having ADHD with already low levels of dopamine production could be a reason why symptoms of PMDD occur. It's like running on an empty tank X 2. Then there's progesterone. We are such complicated creatures! It seems like a never ending list.

Just wondering how many other women with ADHD have an experience of worsened PMS or their medications not working. Having ADHD, we already struggle with regulating our emotions, soothing ourselves, and for me; being impulsive.

Much love and be kind to yourselves. xx" -Elaineeeee4

Facebook

An entire group dedicated to this topic: PMDD/PME & ADHD/ADD - The Double Whammy!

My personal experience:

I have General Anxiety, Depression, OCD, ADHD, and PMDD. ADHD and OCD tend to go hand in hand (same with Depression and Anxiety). It's a hell mix. As you have seen in my last post, nearly 100% of people with ADHD suffer from rejection sensitive dysphoria, which can mimick a full blown mood disorder. Furthermore, as you know from my PMDD posts, during the two weeks of the lutel phase before the cycle starts, the person with PMDD is extremely sensitive, with mood swings, feelings of tension/anxiety, feelings of sadness/despair, etc. And you know from my OCD post that there are multiple symptoms that are exacerbated by PMDD, such as intrusive thoughts, depression and anxiety.

I've described my PMDD, OCD, and ADHD mixture as a "hell mix" but I'm not sure if I've ever described what actually goes on inside my head when I am going through the two weeks of the month where all three of these disorders overlap.

I'm not joking. Part of what my brain sounds like starts at 1:55, when the wind gets so loud that the man's voice can still be heard but is drowned out.

Pair it with this sound:

The best way I can describe it is like this. Sit in a dark room, put in headphones, and listen to this video at full volume (or as much as you can take). Notice how it starts out relatively calm and then rises and falls. Imagine you are in this building, sloshing through flood water, in the dark, in a building that is actively decaying, while the sounds of thousands of dying souls around you are crying out through the wind. It gets louder, and louder, until the wind and the rain and the screams are all you can hear outside of your own heavy breathing.

Now, notice how the video fades out and then just cuts off. You might get a bright and cheerful TurboTax ad right after or something. No more rain, screams, or wind. You can see clearly now (the rain is gone...lol). This is your period starting (when all the PMDD symptoms stop), and the everything you just sat there and imagined are the two weeks before.

It sounds exaggerated and unrealistic, but it's the best way to describe my brain. The fact that I can even form a coherent thought during those weeks is a goddamn Olympic-level accomplishment given that my brain is so crazy and I am so hormonal that I can't even see right. I don't mean my vision is affected. I mean, I literally get tunnel vision and all I can focus on are the horrific fucking maelstroms going on inside me. Everything else around me is only making it worse. Imagine going through all that flood water in the dark with those sounds, and then someone is doing anything other than holding your hand the whole way through---complaining, judging, whining, bullying, etc. It's like going through the flood water while someone is hitting you over the head with a bat over and over. That's what maintaining relationships during that time is like.

Though I maintain that I typically still have valid arguments (in my opinion), I am acting completely under duress. All of that wind, and rain, and screaming is going on in my head and I experiencing every symptom in the book of all of my disorders at once to the max. So, yeah, I'm not really gonna be a total peach during that time of the month, and won't make the same decisions that I would make any other time.

I don't know if other people experience this hurricane in their brain, but I do. It's why I try so fucking hard to warn people about my disorder before it happens. I am not myself, and I won't be for a minute. I have had so many situations and relationships suffer because people underestimate it, or I underestimate it. When I say that I underestimate it, I mean I underestimate exactly how accepting other people actually are and how much they actually understand the disorder. I also tend to overestimate how much I can really handle.

The boundaries I set when I am calm are not the same boundaries I have when I am experiencing symptoms. I need grace. I need support. I need patience. I tend to think that if I just warn people, and try really really hard to be perfect and never do a single thing wrong, everything will be okay. I can overpower my hormones. I can overpower my symptoms. I can overpower all of these things while I'm in school and working and maintaining several friendships at once.

I also want to mention that I can't really medicate and therapy is hard to come by. I take antidepressants, but I forget a lot and save my meds often because my insurance runs out when I turn 23. I turn 23 in August. I also can't really medicate because my body is sensitive to medication. In the past, I've had to lower all my medications (escitlopram and adderall) to the lowest possible dose so that I don't start experiencing suicidal ideation, overwhelming anxiety, depression, nightmares, etc. Most of my medications when I am actively taking them only help on a very, very basic level. Not enough to alleviate my symptoms by a substantial amount. Just enough to help me think straight.

I have a therapy appointment coming up with a therapist who specializes in mood disorders. But for the last two years, I haven't had a therapist because I haven't found one that either takes my insurance, or works with people who have mood disorders and takes my insurance at the same time, or is open to new clients. Not to mention the trauma I have to rehash every time I start therapy, which makes it hard for me to even convince myself to go in the first place. And I won't have a therapist for much longer than three months because I won't have insurance after I turn 23.

All I have is me to manage my symptoms. Myself, my meager medication, and my support system. So, yeah, it's kind of ass. But I'm proud of how hard I work to warn others, even if it ends in disaster. I'm proud of myself to recognizing when I am experiencing symptoms and for trying to own up to that, for trying to set that boundary and to ask for that support, even if I don't receive it or it's too late and I've already monumentally fucked up. I'm sorry to the people I've hurt during my episodes. The loss I experience is tremendous to me, and every month, I re-experience it over and over and over, either because of my OCD, my RSD, or my PMDD. So, I'm not standing here trying to act like some guy whose above everyone else for not understanding a highly misunderstood, and underdiagnosed disorder like PMDD.

What works for me to support myself during my episodes is talking with other people, naming my emotions and where they are coming from, taking more walks/practicing for dance, and reminding myself that I am not hard to love or difficult or unreasonable. I have a disorder, several disorders, that make it hard for me to understand my brain, let alone another person unaware of the extent that these disorders fuck with me when they overlap. But that doesn't make me hard.

It makes me human---neurodivergent, human, and complex. But not hard.

I hope you enjoyed my discussion on how PMDD and ADHD interact, as well as my other posts about PMDD and OCD. As PMDD awareness month draws to a close, I will shift my posts toward looking at how to support loved ones with PMDD, how people with PMDD can support themselves, and how we can continue to shift our cultural narrative regarding this disorder.

[dxmedstudent]

Hey! I know a while ago you were talking about contraception methods and I've been considering the mirena coil and have done research into it, basically I am affected quite badly by low mood/irritability for at least 4 days before my period and I cant work out from internet research if the mirena helps with that. Do you know if it can reduce those symptoms? I'm not keen on the pills as I know they can worsen moods, and its affecting my ability to study on those days when I feel like crap :/

Hey, that’s a perfectly reasonable question!Things like the hormonal coil or contraceptive implant release a low level of progesterone like hormone. So in theory you don’t get the usual peaks and troughs that you get with your normal cycle. It’s these sudden troughs of progesterone just before your period that are though to contribute to premenstrual symptoms. You can see this in the diagram below, borrowed from hello clue, with the help of google:

So you’d usually expect a contraceptive that releases progesterone it to improve premenstrual symptoms - it tends to ‘level out’ the natural peaks and troughs. Which means less PMS but also none of the high you get from ovulating. The thing about contraceptives is that hormonal contraceptives in general can affect people’s moods; even the mirena or implant can in theory do this. Depression is listed as a common side effect even for the coil. They don’t usually worsen PMS, as such, but research does seem to suggest that more women on hormonal contraceptives suffer from depression, and lots of people individually report that hormonal contraceptives affected their mood. However, lots more also report feeling perfectly fine; these things don’t happen to everyone. I personally decided to take that risk with the implant, knowing my mental health profile would put me at risk, and plenty of my friends with mental health histories have also used hormonal contraception, without their mental symptoms getting worse. But I can’t choose for anyone else.  It’s something we have to be mindful of; if you find that things get worse after starting a  contraceptive, you don’t have to put up with it; there are other options to try out and what matters is your overall quality of life. For some people, taking hormonal contraception makes their hormonal mood changes bearable and makes a huge difference; in fact, some people take contraceptives just for that alone. So it can work. But we can’t usually predict before someone starts a method exactly how they mght respond to it; lots of people find that if one doesn’t work for them, picking something else with a different hormone balance might work much better, though a minority of people find that all hormonal contraceptives suck for them.

Normally, I’d suggest that the only way to see is to talk to your doctor or sexual health provider, and to just try something, after discussing the best option with them. Implants and coils can be removed; though it can take more time to arrange for this than it can if you just stop a tablet. There are also progesterone only pills- they don’t have quite te same risk side effect profile of the combined pill (which has oestrogen and progesterone). When you talk your option through with the doctor or nurse who is giving you the contraceptive, they can go through risk factors and side effects with you, and they won’t recommend a method if there are high risks for harm. However, I’m aware that in some places like the US the implant or mirena are very expesive choices, and it can be prohibitive to ‘try things out’. So it’s important for you to talk to your local healthcare provider who can advise on the prices as well as the risks/benefits so you can make the best choice for you.

[lostinbirbilling]

In the second year of medical schooling, we are posted to a particular specialization at the hospital for some number of weeks. When my gen med postings were in the pen ultimate week, I went home because the sight of patients suffering made me feel emotionally down and home sick.

I once dreamt of being a surgeon. I used to think of it as a mechanic who works on the body. But now, I'm not sure if I ever want to be a surgeon. Agreed its a highly difficult course to do gen sur. But what's even more difficult is to stop getting emotional over patients. Maybe it's the way things are done around here, but the sight of a conscious female patient just about to be anaesthesised on the operation bed, completely naked under the gaze of several medicine practioners made me realize how much of a tough and brave decision it is to go under the knife.

Maybe it's it's pms of my delayed period that's yet to come (xd) that's making me over emotional. But while I'm having hard time to just stand without blanking out in the ot hall seeing all the blood around and my cramps hitting me worse than they did the day before, I can't help but be amazed by the young female surgeon who's so precise, calm, composed and skilled with her hands. What would happen if she were pms-ing or maybe on her period. She needs to stand up straight, focus on work, think, reconnect the dots of signs and symptoms with whats happening inside and put her hands still.

Maybe I surely do have a long way to go. If I have to make my future in the field of healing that is.

Another doubt I had on the way is that do doctors even refer to a psych consult here? (In some parts of India)

I mean I've seen a case of bathroom cleaner ingestion by a 19 year old girl who was so done with her husband that night and missed her parents badly while her in laws didn't let her go home.

They say there are 3 treatments

1. Symptomatic

2. Causative

3. Prophylactic

Merely giving emetics (and helping the girl vomit out the poison) isn't the solution is it? Or am I being too naive watching cast of Grey's getting too much into their hearts.

While there are docs who only do this to full their stomach and fill their desires, there also are some who work to heal the hearts by going a step or two beyond their paychecks. And I wanna be like the latter.

🥂 here's to trying to survive in this bull shit while trying to live in the world of your paraclinical textbooks.

[mxniomei]

anon here back to yell about the latest chapter of hunger like a storm… read thru the whole thing again and has totally forgotten how hard hitting some of felix’s dialogue is you had me straight up crying with half of that it’s insane how i , as the reader, know how much the rest of the boys want him (so so fucking badly) but felix cannot see past the fact that for some reason he is a burden to them all and the contradiction of it all breaks my heart … like lowkey the implications of their day to day relationships being impacted as well it’s like … everyone is pining for felix and felix is pining for everyone but they’re over there and he’s over here alone like gahhhhhhhhh my heart … please let chan give him the bite please let him join the pack please let the boys take care of him in the way he wants

u didnt ask for an essay but i accidentally wrote an essay so its under the cut if ur interested

the problem with ot7 and lix is that they cant understand each other

1. they're coming at the issue from fundamentally different places. Felix is trying to solve being a burden and ot7 are trying to solve Felix's unhappiness. ot7 don't think Felix is a burden, so Felix is solving a problem that doesn't exist. bc the problem doesn't actually exist, he can never solve it, and he can't be happy bc not solving the nonexistent problem is keeping him from happiness. ot7 can't make Felix happy bc Felix has trapped himself in that cycle i just mentioned and it is self perpetuating, but they don't understand that and can't break it bc of it.

2. Felix is running a lot of risks with his health in A/B/O i think it's fair to say sexual health is taken seriously and here while I'm using it as a metaphor for PMS and other such things, in universe he's taking near hallucinogens to get his symptoms under control-- just his symptoms him framing this as a "i don't want to be a burden" situation is ACTIVELY playing against his best health interests. heat shots are considered dangerous and Minho can't believe he'd consider them-- showing how little both parties understand about the other's thoughts on the situation at hand until Felix treats this as a "i need to figure out if i can deal with the disease and work from there" he's not gonna get better mentally nor physically. also Minho is putting a lot of faith into hormone therapy but there's really no guarantee it'll be the right answer.

3. they're all wishing for the same things without considering how that may...go everyone wants Felix to be normal right? but chronic illness doesn't work that way. you can't just "be" normal. you live with symptoms forever and also even if you can take meds or do therapy or whatever for it, you'll be doing that forever and that's gotta be ok and nobody in hlas has accepted that they keep insisting Felix is normal and just "going through something" and Felix has generally hidden the severity of it they've gotta come to terms with the fact he may never be ok enough to bite but they can't accept that reality...which leads back to point one: Felix feels like a burden because he can't be bitten, among other things.

some other less related points:

this also all stems from the fact that felix really doesnt show the severity of what hes carrying. minho mentions it in ch 6, but felix doesnt share how badly his heats get to him, and also never shares the psychological impact of them either. the reality is, whos to say felix hasnt already had hallucinations from the tryptibutyl? we’re only getting one heat of at least 6-8 within his lifetime if we presume that the pattern is always 2 years (which it isnt bc it’s established that theyre unstable heats) and tryptibutyl is the main thing he takes. plus tryptibutyl aside, the impact of being unable to keep a regular heat would make any omega in a society that values their ability to have kids over them go crazy.

that along with minho, who Felix sees as this ideal omega who has perfect cycles and never has to deal with the shit felix does and gets to have a bite and gets to be everything felix has ever wanted, has got to sting. and its got to sting more with the fact felix loves him, no matter if hes jealous of minhos life

its all cyclical at this point, and along with a few other things, this is whats keeping them from bein ot8.

thanks for coming to my ted talk i guess