#I'm trying to leave this all behind me.

[moriavamp]

Okay, you sensitive little princess. Let me lay this down for you.

You are the most complicated person ever, Terri. Oh I’m sorry!! I don’t fit your friend category, I can’t call you that!! Up yours. You identify with every gender ever and I don’t even know if that’s fucking possible and it makes no sense.

You claim to have DID, but got mad when an alter of mine said anything?? But when your “alters” were mean, it was okay!!

If anyone says one thing wrong, your little clan attacks. “Beloveds” is like an actual guard and it’s embarrassing. Imagine defending someone as horrible as you with their ENTIRE chest. You, Terri, are put on throne. You are not all that.

“Oh!! But they’re struggling mentally!! So it’s okay!!” Let’s not forget about the time they were the reason I almost offed myself because of how horrible you, your alters, and friends treated me. “They’re a people pleaser and wants everyone to be okay!!” Complete lies. You are FAR from a people pleaser. You are not selfless, you are SELFISH.

You’re literally a piece of shit who gets anything they want by playing victim. The amount of times you have vented to me when I never wanted you to/without warning. Stop being a bitch and own up.

Get wrecked Stan lol

A. I identify as non-binary. Not "every gender ever". I'm simply non-binary. B. I have NEVER said I had DID. I said I have a PERSONALITY DISORDER. And your alter called my friend a proshipper for shipping a harmless ship just because your "alter" got mad. That's just dumb. My plurals were only "mean" because you legitimately were putting so much stress on me that my health was at risk.

C. I don't control Beloveds. You expect me to keep them on a fucking leash or something?? They're not a dog, they have their own free will. I'm not gonna tell them what to do. I never said I wasn't at fault to some extent. I was, I'll admit that. You made me do this, honey. You're the reason for this. I banned you from my server and all this only happened because you can't understand the term no. I tried to come to an understanding but you wouldn't even consider what anyone but yourself wanted. I cried on a VC from the sheer stress of trying to make everyone have what they wanted.

BTW I vented ONCE. Full censored all of it too. Stop lying and playing the victim, you fucking hypocrite. You also called my plurals pets and followers, so fuck off. All you’re doing is harassing me, and if you’re trying to bully me off the internet, it won’t work. 

[t-u-i-t-c]

"My... Wheel..."

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

disney is a coward so I know they'll never do this, but given what we learned was SUPPOSE to happen between alex and stevie, I would still love a post-eloping for the reboot.

like just imagine alex and stevie as the Cool Gay Aunts(tm) for justin's kids (+ billie). they show up for the holidays and totally shower the kids with magical gifts, including a baby dragon for the boys (which does end up setting fire to their parents bed sheets). milo shows off a magic trick to his friends, using alex (since billie's not allowed to) sneakily casting spells from the bushes so the card really does dissapear from his hand, leaving his friends cheering (stevie smiling but refusing to admit to alex how cute is it). stevie has a motorcycle (which alex thinks is super hot but also refuses to admit) and while the kids aren't old enough for a ride, she does let them sit on it and rev the handles nice and loud while justin panics from the porch. they team up with all three kids to pull pranks on justin and even sometimes get giana in on a few harmless ones. maybe alex even uses her role on the tribunal to get stevie's records cleared, and they both start to advocate for a more fair way of distributing magic between families.

and billie could have an extra adult at her side! I know justin is suppose to fill the pseudo-dad role, but while billie spends her time with the russo's, also gets to spend her summers or whatever with her two cool wizard aunts. they encourage her to keep up with her studies but for the most part they just chill, letting billie indulge in a few sweets (knowing how health-conscious justin has forced his family to be) and sometimes in a pg-13 movie together. when she's there however, the house does turn into a prank war; guests are to be extremely careful when entering and encouraged to bring a separate pair of clothes.

I dunno it would just be super cool; alex and stevie reunited and I think the kids would love her too - plus watching their aunt who's always acted so aloof get all smiley and whatnot and I'm just imagining a scenario with alex and the kids like:

billie: why does stevie call you babygirl

alex: hey who wants to play the quiet game!!

[the-mirror-lied]

this album saw right through me, but I don't know how to recover.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Something else I love…

… About Leverage ep one is that they pull it off.

Despite the fact that they all normally work alone, that it's the first run, that they all have different personalities, the opening lets all the characters show that they really are professionals who know what they're doing. The only reason that the whole thing goes sideways is the employer.

And I appreciate it for that.

[araneitela]

Alright, I've been mulling on this for most of the day, and unless a night's sleep changes my mind, I'll be working on returning (remaking) a very old multimuse of mine, that used to be over at iniziare. The blog will be entirely remade, and I'll post it here when it's done!

For those wondering, it will for now house: Guizhong, Yelan, Kafka and Arlecchino. Time to finish up that other WIP theme for this, I suppose! See you guys on the flip-side of this brighter future.

[rouge-fauna]

I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.

I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.

Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.

In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.

But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

[brittlebutch]

a lot of people seem to use Entry #61 as 'proof' for the crux of the "Brian didn't care about Tim, he was Taking Advantage of Tim's conditions and Forcing him to work as part of totheark" thing, but honestly when you think about it there's no possible way Brian could have possibly orchestrated that series of events, like you almost have to interpret that as a baffling group of coincidences

[chickie-birdies]

Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)

Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.

[knaveofmogadore]

You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal

[tj-crochets]

Grandma update! My grandma likes to say I'm her mini me for various reasons, and today we found out we have the exact same but opposite name remembering issue with the same pair of names She keeps accidentally calling Zack, one of her great grandkids, Jake, and I spent like two years in high school fully convinced a guy named Jake's name was Zack

[unproduciblesmackdown]

omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!

[still-gathering-roses]

officially starting my job at my new school next week and currently going through the incredibly Peak Social Anxiety process of going through every staff roster-type google doc that has been shared and surreptitiously correcting the spelling of my name on all of them and hoping nobody notices 🫠

[in-tua-deep]

asleep me has just decided to start world building i guess

Imagine: you are a misfit teenage boy, a con artist. You have a best friend - or maybe a brother? You two are as close as family regardless. You're in a refugee camp when you pull a con - you pass your best friend off as the newly orphaned son of a noble or something. It's just a ploy - to give him an in with the other wealthy kids so you can steal.

Except… he doesn't really give it up? You ask a couple of times when you're leaving, but Will, your best friend, keeps putting it off. He's fallen in with a new crowd. One that respects him, elevates him. And those new friends? Well, they don't exactly like you.

Will starts sending you off on errands when he's with his friends. You go easily, because you want to be helpful, and you ignore the hushed laughter of his shiny new friends. You go on your fake little missions designed to get rid of you.

That's how you meet the Goddess.

Imagine a clearing, golden light, and a beautiful woman who calls you a trickster and says you are destined to be enemies. Imagine freeing the three chained sun gods by accident. (By fate?) Except you tell the goddess that you don’t believe in fate, and what if you become friends instead?

(You offer to steal her, and she agrees - a fine trick indeed, wouldn't you say?)

After this instance you find something out. You can use magic now? But also it seems like you have been cursed as well - you can’t die. Fate rearranges itself every time. A shield moves to a position it wasn’t in before. A sword misses its mark. You are Loved By Fate and it is an Issue.

Time passes and your best friend grows - and you have to use magic to grow with him. He’s a king now. You love him - he’s still your brother - but his smile is more and more strained every time he sees you.

Your goddess takes many forms travelling with you. Sometimes she is a woman, sometimes she is golden magic inside of a pouch. Sometimes she is a child and travels with you, and somehow you get separated with her like that. The king finds her, and immediately is taken with her. He decides to try and find a family for this child who is shy of everyone, and offers for any individual to come and try their luck to see if the child will take to them

You are the last person to try, not because you don't think your goddess will choose you, but because you are worried even if she does the king will not let her go

The king's friends stop you. You know their faces - they are the same bullies they have always been. They accuse you of being cursed because you never die no matter how many dangerous missions the king sends you on. The suicide missions.

They attack you, and they might be cruel but they aren’t stupid. Their ringleader realizes that it must be magic shifting his shield to protect you from the lethal blows.

(You can see every lethal blow that doesn’t land play through your head. The worlds that did not come to pass. You don’t tell them the number of times they murdered you in this fight. It wouldn’t change anything.)

You manage to escape and run up to the king’s room. Using fate’s magic so much has stripped you away of other magics - you look young again. Awkward and gangly with no facial hair (the way you always have since meeting a goddess and becoming something more than human)

He’s in there with an elven woman, a noble of some kind who is wise and anyone with eyes can see the king is in love with her. (You can see in her eyes that she does not love him back, not in that way.)

The king, after some debate, decides to let you try

(He doesn’t comment on your appearance - maybe he just thinks you have a baby face without your beard. Maybe the way he avoids looking you in the eyes means he doesn’t even notice.)

You reunite, and it is beautiful - your goddess surges forward into your arms and kisses you, and you feel fates magic coursing through you and soothing over the exhaustion from the fight.

But the king doesn’t see a goddess and he doesn’t see the magic - he sees a child and he draws his sword. He says many things - that he didn’t expect you to stoop this low. That he once called you his friend.

(How long has it been since that felt genuine?)

Something goes cold in you and enough is enough. Your goddess’s magic courses through you, and you will not be separated again. You use magic to blast them back, use magic to stun them, and use magic to make you and your goddess into a rat that scurries away into the walls

The magic is powerful enough that a cascade of golden chains has manifested down the wall of the room, branching downward like a geometric tree and each one tipped with an amulet with a large inset ruby

The king and the noble awaken, and the king is furious. But the elven woman looks like all her questions have been answered

She talks about how there haven’t been terrible fires throughout the lands, despite all signs pointing to the fact that the sun gods have been unchained

She names you - trickster, calamity

In mythology apparently you are symbolized by a massive golden peacock, each "feather" in your tail with ruby-gem eyes like the chains on the wall

You are named such because you are the only creature capable of going against fate and changing it

(your train of feathers is instead a train of chains - all the fates that you have broken)

(It should make you enemies with your goddess, but you decided in that clearing twenty years ago that you were friends instead)

Apparently on your suicide missions, you have been helping. Wherever you could, you changed the fate of entire cities and towns and prevented the wildfires of the Sun gods from ravaging the kingdom

The elven woman opens a portrait that has a nook behind it. You are sitting there - well, not you exactly. But a copy of you. You are a trickster and love mischief, and you love secret spaces and those who choose to look in them. That’s enough for a part of you to be present, looking sixteen and glowing with golden light

She speaks in the ancient language to you - and you speak it back without thinking. You tell her she’s just as hot as Will with a wink and it makes her laugh. Will cannot understand what you are saying, but you don’t care right now. He’s your best friend, but you aren’t his, and it hurts

He calls you immature, and the elven woman says you’re only sixteen. He snaps back that you are a thirty-six year old man. She shakes her head, and says that you haven’t been since you Awakened. Gods are different, after all

(Maybe it was the differences that drove you apart? Maybe it’s your fault? But if that is the truth then why was there already so much distance between you? You do not ask your goddess if there was a path where you still would have been close.)

You don’t feel like a god, you feel like a person who is just trying their best. You feel tired. You feel sad. Maybe that’s why you are the one who bends fate - you’re the only one that cares enough to try.

Anyway that’s when I woke up but I like my trickster - important to note that he is a redhead with a bit of a baby face

[buckymilf]

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