#I'm too worried/scared to sleep
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I think the only reason I slept yesterday was cause I was so exhausted from the hospital, because there just no way I'm sleeping tonight
#I'm too worried/scared to sleep#I keep hearing my mom's scream when he fell in my head over and over again and it's a fucking nightmare#I don't think this will turn into a life altering trauma like our accident in 2017 did#because recovery is faster and I have the fact that I'm so so grateful he's alive and without head damage to counter act#but it was still one of the scariest moments in my life and I'd like to erase all of it from my head thank you very much#also fun fact he got temporary amnesia for like 24 hours after the fall. he couldn't retain his memory for 30 seconds#which is why we were so fucking scared of it being a head injury#but in the end it was just out of sheer shock and trauma#which is just horrifying. I've never seen my dad express a single emotion#so you can imagine how it fucks me up that he had an actual neurological reaction to a traumatic event right in front of me#like wtf. don't recommend this to anyone who has loved ones#rambles*
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