#I'm tired and sad
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At times I wonder
If this is my fallow
Strength sapped from my soul
Like nutrients from soil
And now it sits
Soil and soul unsown
Yet harrowed all the same
But yet still
Does it feel instead as though
Instead the field has been salted
Killing any chance of growth
Any chance of life
Sapping me further of what I need
I feel like a scarecrow
Unable to do naught but stand watch
Never moving but to sway with the winds
Empty fields stretching further than stitched
Eyes could possibly see
Stuck in one spot
Even if the field is drowned by the rains
Or plundered by hungry mouths
Should my salted fields be set alight
Somehow I'd stay rooted to my spot
Unable to do anything but watch
As my fields of nothing char to ash
And I can only hope that should my
Empty fields ever burn
That the ash lingering afterwards
Feeds the earth enough so that I may
Finally watch fields turn colours
From the deep dark of freshly turned soil
To the bright green of life
As it shifts to swaying seas of gold
#poetry#writing#original poetry#my poetry#hopeful poetry#farming analogy#I'm tired and sad#this is literally a poem comparing my shit hand in life to staple crops lmao
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the pain of being a Runaan/Ruthari fan is so specific and lonely. our faves aren't dead, just sort of abandoned for the time being while every other character (and new ones, too) gets their time to shine and get loads of fan content made of them. sigh
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This past couple of days have been awful. My personal and labor life have been a chaos.
I'm a person that hasn't gotten used to adulthood 😭.
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If I forgot to follow one of my lovely mutuals again, please let me know.
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made a sticker for anyone to slap onto their work if they need to
#ramble#i've only interacted with tiktok via osmosis#but something is eating their brain matter and it makes me sad#it's fine if you only want to read light things (all power to you) but don't whine at me because i write about bad people sometimes#i'm so tired
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reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head
#i can't reblog this from everyone so this is just me giving all my mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head#if u see this#*muah*#soft lil kissy on the head#and if u don't want one u can have a head pat#or i can lovingly send soft lovey vibes your way#all options are valid#idk i just#need to spread some love today#i'm tired and sad and stressed#so i'm giving u all some love#bc i need to fill myself with more of it#love u all hope u have/are having a good day#mutuals#not stargate
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i know you're not supposed to have your life together in your 20s, but i still feel uniquely horrible about my state of affairs
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Dear diary...
The fact that I'm still "alive" in 2024 just feels like a huge mistake...
#dear diary#tw#personal#worthless#empty#tired#useless#i want to die#i hate myself#i'm sorry#pain#alone#anxiety#self harm#suicidal#sad#depression#heartbreak#hurt#hopeless#kill me#lost#lonely#broken#numb#not good enough#i shouldn't be here
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try to be gentle while tearing me apart
#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#depressing life#sad thoughts#self h@rm#quotes#i'm sad#im sorry#suic1de#trauma#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destruction#tw depressing stuff#tw abuse#toxic love#toxic relationship#heartbroken#please help#im so tired#im not okay#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#mental health#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#su1cide#su1c1dal#su1c1d3#sexualassault#family issues
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i don't wanna die, i just wanna never have existed in the first place.
#depressing shit#i'm lonely#i'm sad#i'm so tired#i'm tired#sad quotes#sad thoughts#sadgirl#tw depressing stuff#depressiv#tw depressing thoughts#sorry for being depressing#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd shit#bpd#lonliness#mentally tired#im so tired#im tired#tired#tw sui ideation#suic1de#sh cvt#cvtt!ng#i want to cvt#sh tumblr#fionas post
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There's an aspect of Original!Elias Bouchard that makes me so sad to think about in a weird kind of "meta" way.
And that's the fact that he has to be labelled as the "OG" not as Elias.
Technically speaking Elias has been dead for years. It's Jonah that's taken over - literally having his eyes removed and replacing them with his own and living as him (he even seemingly keeps his "old fashioned haircut" on Elias' hair).
And yet we as the audience don't often call that form of Jonah "JONAH". Instead it's Elias, cause he's been Elias for 4 series at this point.
"Elias started the apocalypse", "Elias beat that old man to death with a metal pipe" when it was never really Elias in the first place.
He's been so robbed of his own identity that not even death can spare him; all of Jonah's actions in his body are recognised as him.
(Btw this isn't me saying you can't call Jonah!Elias straight up Elias, I do that regularly ofc. I'm just being emo rn lol)
#I'm tired out of my mind so i hope this makes sense lol#og!elias was such a dick but he does make me very sad#any legacy or reputation he could have had positive or negative is taken away by force and tarnished by Jonah#og!elias#og!elias bouchard#elias bouchard#original elias bouchard#jonah magnus#the magnus archives#tma#tma spoilers#?#idk at what point that tag can be dropped lol
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#bpd mood#bpd stuff#bpd things#heartbreak#dark aesthetic#toxic relationship#tw self destructive thoughts#tw depressing stuff#su1c1dal#i'm so mad#i feel stupid#i am so tired#why am i like this#i am alone#im not okay#living with borderline#im sad and lonely#i'm so sick of myself#loosing myself#i am sad#heart been broke so many times#tw self destruction#tw depressing thoughts#bpd feels#bpd problems#actually bpd#trauma#ptsd
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why the fuck am I the way I am
#i want to use all the insults i know on myself#im so tired#vent#venting#i'm sad#depressing shit#vent blog#mentally fucked#mentally tired#tw depressing thoughts#actually mentally ill#suixide#su!cidal#angry#self h@te#tw selfhate#i hate my self#anger issues#mentally drained#mental illness
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lets run to a new world together! ✨
#pjsk art for you for surviving my isatism#ok hold on.#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#polysho#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#ok. So.#AUEIGUGUVUKHJUBYFFBGIUF%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^%%%%%#MY TIERRRRR IM SAD ABT NOT BEING SBLE TO DO T100 but like i wouldnt have had enough energy even if i did have the time. im around 800 rn..#cause i was too tired... i'm so lazy now but ill claw my way back to t500 at least. sorry i couldnt be siffrin on the leaderboard..#anyways.#this was one of the drawings i made to be stickers for fanexpo !! ^_^#maybe i'll post the ichisaki + ena idrew.. the rest were just for specific people or for my performance#i also have sif and odile but i'd like to draw the rest of the party to go with them :) mirabelle.....
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please i'm begging you think about aplatonic people when you make a post about aro issues. not all of us care about friends. we can prioritise other relationships even if we've deconstructed amatonormativity because friendship is just not important to some people. being aro doesn't make me inherently care more about friendship
#caique posts#i am so tired of other aros throwing aplaros under the bus to be 'more paletable' to alloros#and then acting sad for us like we're missing out on the wonders of friendship. this is exactly how alloros treats aros!#please stop i'm so tired#aplatonic#aromantic#actually aromantic#vent#ish
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I should just stop existing
#..Death.and.Decay.#tw sui ideation#depressing shit#sad thoughts#i'm so lonely#depressiv#i wanna die#sadgirl#i just wanna sleep#i'm going insane#i'm just a girl#i'm sorry#i'm tired#i'm so tired#why am i like this#actually borderline#actually bpd#actually cluster b#fp bpd#bpd fp#bpd thoughts#bpd#borderline blog#borderline pd#borderline things#borderline thoughts#bpd feels#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd stuff
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