#I'm tired and exhausted all the time

[lucyvaleheart]

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[necroticghost]

im so fucking useless

[barghest-land]

hate it when i wanna draw something really cool but then forget that for that i'll need to like. Actually sit down and do it myself

[ezlo-x]

telling all of you rn when I finish chapter 3 and this idea still lingers in my mind imma make an animatic of this song for my au

[makeawishandskimit]

@ all variations of "Thirteen wasn't actually queer"/"15Rogue was more convincing than Thasmin"/"Thasmin was queerbait" etc.

[doubleedgemode]

Happy summer, everybody!

This has been a big project to take and while there's stuff to improve I'm pretty happy with it. Be sure to zoom in the big picture for details and read the comic from left to right. (Needless to say, please don't try A.B.A's behaviour.. For your safety)

Bonus doodle:

[laylajeffany]

discovered "Decora Girlz" dolls at Walmart on Black Friday every single day I think about how this one is going to be Wednesday after living with Enid for three years when she graduates lmfao

also i have only managed to write 30k this week due LIFE and it's not been nearly as productive as i had dreamed

[deoidesign]

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[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 31: Post Game

…for the sake of the world’s happiness.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Thoughts Vol. 1 Pt. 2

So now that I've finished with volume 1, I just wanted to write down a couple thoughts I've had and neat things to point out so far

When I was watching Stampede, I took note of a few kind of textbook avoidant behaviours Vash engages in, and lo and behold, here he is in the manga displaying even more of them. I'll list out a few here.

In order, we have:

Casually asking for a time limit on the interaction (ie. "How long do I have to keep this up before I can leave?")

Attempting to lose people in a crowd

Leaving without saying anything (and as a bonus, dreading being recognized in public)

Over-indulging or over-involving oneself in social events to create a viable excuse to leave suddenly (in this case, he uses alcohol as a reason to "pass out")

Sleeping to avoid unwanted conversation

Escaping to the bathroom to get away for a bit (and also to grumble about it haha)

Playing off sincere reactions by deliberately allowing them to be misinterpreted to avoid personal questions

It's really obvious, even this early in the manga, that Vash is intentionally avoiding prolonged interaction with people, and only involving himself in situations by necessity. He doesn't like attention on himself - the only reason he intentionally draws it is to divert it away from others.

The reason for this is a bit muddy though. It does seem that Vash doesn't particularly enjoy being caught up in drama, and it is also very likely he wishes to get in and out of places as quickly as possible to avoid them getting caught up in his drama too. It may even be that he finds prolonged socializing kind of tiring; that he needs a certain amount of time to himself.

But then there's also this bit, shortly after the celebration, where he pretends to pass out.

This brings in a bit of a guilt aspect to it. It likely has to do with July, or maybe it's due to something else (at this point, we can't say), but I think it's notable that Vash cuts things off shortly before they become intimate. He can play along to make others happy and to share in their joy for a bit, but the second things get too personal or focused on him, he will quietly slip away. Now this is specifically an instance of physical intimacy, but I think it'd probably hold for emotional intimacy as well, given the continuous avoidance and misdirection he does to prevent too many questions.

I made some commentary on Stampede Vash's self-punishing behaviours - specifically, the way he denies himself food. I don't want to get too into it because I don't know if everyone reading this has seen Stampede, but food is framed as something to be shared in the show - so, denying himself food is denying himself the right to share with others, which is denying himself belonging, which is denying himself any semblance of intimacy. (It means other things too, as food-sharing is associated with Rem, but I don't want to get too into it here.)

Vash in the manga doesn't seem to have the same issues with eating, but this is a similar premise - he's denying himself intimacy out of a sense of not being deserving of it.

So, then, there are probably many interwoven reasons for Vash's avoidance - he's sick of the chaos that follows him around, he doesn't want others getting hurt, he gets tired from having to "play it up" all the time, and he seems to also feel that he doesn't deserve that closeness. I'm intrigued to see how Vash's avoidance will be tackled going forward (I'm assuming it will?), and I suspect, more than there being one right reason for it, that all these reasons are actually true to an extent.

On a completely different note, this panel here is the biggest mood. I feel it in my bones.

[graveyarrdshift]

the sexual tension between me and relapse

[borealopelta]

conked out for nearly 12 hours which is really nice on a i slept less the past 2 nights combined level but also i was supposed to be up at 7

[necroticghost]

I'm such a failure, a complete fucking failure

[racingliners]

I have never experienced a season where the off-track discourse has made me wish for a season to be over... but this season and specifically this race is what's broken me.

[rapidhighway]

also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard

[byanyan]

oooh, once i get some of my energy and motivation back for a couple days again, it's over for y'all. i'm comin' for ya