#I'm thrilled we have more representation

[whatevertheywant]

Bring back the days where shipping had jack shit to do with viability

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Mr Gaiman!

I don’t have a question but I just wanted to let you know how much I sincerely appreciate the minority representation in Good Omens. I’m a person with a physical disability, and seeing someone like me on the screen is so rare. And when it does happen, there’s usually something I take issue with, like a depressing image of this person who hates the fact that they’re disabled and can’t live a happy or independent life. The way that Liz Carr’s disability is worked into her character is so cool, I can’t tell you how much it means to have a character like that in a fantasy setting just exist as she is and use her powers to make the world around her more accessible rather than changing herself. I don’t know if you realize how wonderful of a message that is to send to young disabled people. Fingers crossed for a greenlit season 3 so we can see more! 🤞

Thank you so much! When we approached Liz to play the angel Saraqael it was because we loved her as an actress (and I'm thrilled that people responded to her so well).

Once we knew Saraqael was going to be played by Liz then I got to write them a wheelchair and give them miracles to make the human world more accessible (that pointed out perhaps some of the ways it isn't) and we asked Amazon to cover many tens of thousands of dollars in CGI to make the Heavenly wheelchair float, and they agreed.

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x19, "kids"

or the one where cameron's absence is so obvious that it causes a meningitis outbreak.

i'm qualifying this one as another stepping-stone episode for me, personally. i liked a lot of pieces of it, and obviously we get some major plot movement with cameron and house at the end, but i think we've entered Full Speed Ahead to the finale atp.

we open and close 1x19 with house and cameron, offering us a framed narrative that gets punched straight through at the end when cameron makes her shocking demand: a date! that's what it will take to get her back into PPTH. even without any foreknowledge, we can safely assume it's a loaded request with some pretty disastrous results incoming. but still, i have to say - i really hated this.

i see the plot and character resonance here. if i'm pretending like i haven't seen the resulting date (which i don't hate, despite disagreeing with the initial premise here), i still understand that a "date" will function more like a forced confrontation/dissection between 2 characters who have been struggling against the social norms of Having A Crush. it's not a role that either performs well, so good for cameron for trying to find a middle-ground, i suppose, but i sincerely can't get past the 2000s tv of it all. surely there could have been a more interesting way to do it. it's one house md's most daring attempts at breaking and/or redefining a trope, and i think this time it just falls flat.

i wish we didn't get to know cameron through this season-long dynamic with house, and i cannot wait for the deeper forays we get next season. i apologize for that negativity lol i just had to come clean about it. my patience has all but worn thin for this saga between them.

though i did like the visual representation of cameron being unable to progress forward by running in place on a treadmill to open the episode. she wasn't really going anywhere, was she?

as well as how house's acquiescence (HEAVY on the acquiescence) to her demands to come back mirrored how he asked her why she liked him. there are always bits and pieces to be appreciated, even amidst what i'd call rubble lol.

BUT! cameron's absence from this episode was very impactful in a way that i really enjoyed. after flubbing another attempt at soothing things between them, house is confronted with his worst nightmare: a clinic full of people who genuinely need his attention. watching chase and foreman fumble around, lacking the sensitivity that cameron carries so naturally in her practice, was an odd moment of solidarity between them, especially when they were so thrilled when house relieved them.

no such solidarity exists long term, however, since house dials his beef with chase up to 11. to me, it felt as if he was preaching cameron's noble high-road tendencies to chase, but vindictively, thus missing the point, when he forces chase to go through a medical glossary throughout the episode. of course it doesn't take - nobody can be like cameron, despite house's greatest wishes. house even dismisses the ingenuity of one of chase's ideas, which gets him the most upset, in the same way that cameron's ideas were often dismissed.

overall, he's clearly goading chase to crack and lash out in anger, like he's been so quick to do lately, and though chase gets increasingly aggravated, he maintains his cool.

i also really enjoyed the subtle callback to chase being raised catholic. he's replaced a bible for a medical textbook, replaced a stringent teacher and/or father with his surrogate father figure, who so happens to be the figurehead of chase's career in medicine, analogous to a church. good stuff.

it's wilson's preaching that breaks through to house on 2 fronts, both of which implicate cameron in the scene i've already mentioned. during fruitless interviews, it's very clear that house is looking for nobody but cameron, a way that he can a) preserve his normal and b) be around cameron, ofc, because he likes/cares for her. superficially, wilson is motivating house to be honest with cameron for once so he can stop indulging his habit of pushing people away.

but wilson also makes the point to broaden the conversational horizons (love you and your moralizing platitudes, honey). he clarifies that house has "a history" of pushing people away and that he's talking about "every woman you've ever given a damn about!" in the face of house's jabs over perfection, he warns that "you're gonna wind up alone, house."*

this speech doesn't solve the problem entirely, ofc, but it points house in the right direction, and he finds solace/confirmation of his next steps in the patient, mary. mary is steeling herself in the face of horrifying circumstances - being traumatically pregnant at 12 years old - and insists that her parents, her team, don't need to know what she's going through. house preserves her privacy, but sees her give in to her parents just before he goes back to cameron's house:

house sees the strength in mary and, due to this show's hilarious habit of equating life-altering medical trauma to petty interpersonal issues, is inspired to be honest and "ask for help" in his own way. with that in mind, i like what house brings to the table when he returns to cameron. he's reflected and grown and saved a kid's life along the way. the understanding that, though he may technically be strong enough to subsist alone, he doesn't always have to, is pretty profound. too bad he won't hang onto it lol.

i need to shout out cuddy, like always, for 1) managing this absolute hellacious situation in her hospital; 2) putting up with house and wilson's shit the entire time; and 3) immediately understanding the urgency when house explains that the patient is bleeding into her brain and forcing open an operating room for her. i love that cuddy's strong instincts are such an integral part of her character, such that i find myself taking them for granted sometimes.

overall? neat episode. again i apologize for the splurge of negativity in there. i like what the house/cameron arc says for them by its end, but it is Taking Too Long for me.

major hilson posting below (i would put another 'read more' section break if i could!):

*okay so what's crazy about the "you're gonna wind up alone, house" exchange is not that it ends up being just NEARLY true, but wilson's emphasis on women. idc if i'm grasping at straws that haven't even been manufactured yet because it's still season 1. in the conversation, they're talking around each other; wilson is trying to pin house down amidst all his attempts at obfuscating, but wilson is physically moving through the scene, working, driving the dialogue:

i have made MANY posts (lots during my live blogging era) of how house and wilson often invert visual shot compositions/dynamics. in their case, usually whoever is seated and looking up is in charge of the conversation, and the person trailing behind is usually the subject of the conversation (think 4x14). and here's how the conversation plays out (with some omissions for brevity):

"you always find some tiny little flaw to push people away."

"...when i do decide to push you away, i hope there's a small person kneeling behind you so you fall down and hit your head." this is crazy btw. think of all the people house subsumes in wilson's life.

"you had the perfect person. and you blew it."

"cameron is so not perfect."

"well nobody's perfect."

wilson being house's imperfect "good side" holds weight here. nobody is perfect, admitted by the faulty personification of that perfection meant to contrast house at every turn but, again, forever failing in that regard. even visually the roles have been assigned - wilson's prestine white coat vs. house's sloppy black coat.

we have also now firmly established that these 2 have seen each other thru many failed relationships, and in an episode defined by the loss of one (house's relationship to cameron), i think this is relevant. in a conversation about house's tendency to remove people from his life, the audience has a subtle laugh about how these 2 seem to be eternal friends despite that tendency, and it's wilson who genders things. wilson introduces the subject of women, even though they interviewed a male candidate earlier.

what i'm getting at is that wilson is house's perfect person, of course. i think 1x19 builds a funny, unimportant setup for this subtextual joke really well, actually, but if i break my own rules and invite outside context into this post, this joke stands the test of time.

[angel-fruitcake]

do u not like top cas for some reason? just curious not tryign to be rude or anything. i prefer top cas bottom dean tbh

although i've talked about this before, i'm always more than happy to continue talking about it! 🤩

it's not that i don't like top!cas/bottom!dean. i do love that dynamic, like genuinely! it fits them very well on so many different levels. dean has spent his whole life trying to take care of others, to protect them, to give them what they need; it's instinct. dean is a caregiver, and for that reason, his guard is always up. i think the one person with which dean can ever truly let go of all control, drop his shields and simply allow himself to be taken care of for a change is castiel. it's my hc that cas is the only person dean can be vulnerable enough with to bottom for; i don't think he could do it for anyone else. and ofc cas takes immense pleasure in getting to take care of dean this way, to worship dean in the way he's always longed to do, and to be the only one permitted to do it. it's for that reason i actually think cas would canonically top more than bottom.

however! just bc dean enjoys being taken care of by cas does Not mean he wouldn't thrill in the opportunity to do the same for his angel. we also mustn't forget that dean and cas are 2 sides of the same coin, and both of them have very deeply rooted self-worth issues that prevent them from easily accepting love and care for themselves. much like with dean, it's no small feat for castiel to allow himself to be taken care of when all his long life he's only ever seen himself as a soldier, a weapon, something to be used and then discarded. he's an angel, it's not in his nature to show vulnerability or to accept care from another. so for cas to open up and let himself be truly loved and worshipped and adored by dean through bottoming— that's an ultimate display of love, trust and devotion. it's that aspect of top!dean/bottom!cas that is just as compelling to me.

tbh it's not really even about the actual physical positions they're in; it's more about the emotions involved, about giving and receiving. and this isn't always true, but typically it's easier for the character that's topping to be the one assuming the giving role.

all that being said, the main reasons i tend to specifically enjoy cas being in the bottom position are: 1) castiel is my favorite character (only very slightly above dean) and as such, i want to see him showered in so much love that he's overwhelmed and shaking with it, and 2) this specific dynamic is in extremely short supply! 💔

it's a bountiful harvest for incredible top!cas/bottom!dean fics out there, which is wonderful! i love it! i'm fed, i'm fulfilled!! however, there is a stunning and dreadful lack of top!dean/bottom!cas fics in general, and the ones that do exist are often very ooc!! (not all of them ofc, but there's a pattern unfortunately 😔)

i think a lot of people have been turned off by the idea of top!dean/bottom!cas bc they've read so many fics where dean and cas have been terribly mischaracterized in those positions. i made a post complaining about this yesterday, but many top!dean/bottom!cas fics inaccurately portray dean in a kind of toxic and heteronormative manner as the top and cas in a weak and helpless manner as the bottom, and i'm sorry but those just aren't correct representations of these characters or their relationship with each other at all.

contrary to popular belief, top/bottom ≠ dom/sub. but not only that! i think many people are under the assumption that if one character is submissive, then the other has to be dominant, but that's just not true. these rules aren't set in stone, they can be bent and played with! it doesn't always have to be traditional dom/sub— sometimes there can be nontraditional roles, like sub/not sub.

i know many people think of dean as primarily submissive in bed, and i agree! i don't think that man could ever be truly dominant in bed even if he tried. not with anyone, let alone with castiel. but! just bc cas might be in a submissive role doesn't mean dean has to be in a dominant one. he could absolutely render that angel a trembling, whimpering, quivering mess with nothing but sweet, soft and tender loving, not even a speck of dominance to be found. and even though i do believe cas would top more often, i think he deserves to lay back and let dean take the reins every so often. sometimes my ancient eldritch horror and deadly warrior of heaven deserves to be spoiled and pampered by the human man he fell in love with, as a treat 💕

^^ that particular dynamic is what we're starving for in this fandom. it's my personal favorite flavor of destiel, yet i'm always searching and almost never finding it 😭 i'm trying to start a movement here: justice for loved and cherished in-character bottom!cas 😤

[mai-komagata]

when fandom doesn't resonate

So like, i know a lot of people are Rings of Power fans and don't know anything about book canon. That is fine, we accept all folks, and its awesome to see perspectives of new fans. But like, I loved haladriel in season 1, and I realized in season 2 the majority of the fans saw the ship COMPLETELY differently than I did. Like they were expecting more from the dynamic than we got. And I see them all being disappointed in how it turned out when this is like the best it was ever gonna be and exceeded what I expected. Galadriel isn't getting with a devil who lied and manipulated her. The most they will have is a metaphorical stabbing scene.

Like is this just not understanding who Sauron is, or projecting a different romance trope I'm unaware of onto this ship? Like i love a lot of dark enemy relationship tropes but this was never gonna be enemies to lovers. Because its *Sauron*. Like even if you never read the books he is an evil eye that is the representation of the devil in the movies. Surely that amount of cultural knowledge permeated popular culture?

Sauron ships are about how close you can get to evil without being corrupted. (well, except for angbang, that is the opposite of that) The sexiness is the evil and the violence, the gaslighting, the delusion and the what might be but won't be. It's the promise of getting everything you could ever want and getting absolutely none of it. That is the promise of the Ring and ultimately of Sauron, because that is who he is. To me, Haladriel is attractive because it is a tangible look into what it is to be tempted by the ring. Because the vague "you can conquer middle earth" "you can save your friends" "you can become king" don't mean anything. But I can relate to being mansplained and passed over despite my merit, and have someone be a perfect coworker/mentor/partner that will help you achieve everything you want. Someone that is a shortcut for that respect. Someone who lets you say *i told you so* to everyone. Someone who lets you get revenge and be bad without *being bad*. That is sexy but it's a lie.

But that part is also sexy. The being picked by someone supremely evil and powerful, of being special. And if you are masochistic, the pain and the powerplay is also sexy. The metaphors of fighting and penetration and whatnot, that is interesting. Not to mention the sheer hubris he displays, and self-delusion. But like, I knew Halbrand was Sauron like from the second scene we saw him. It was like "oh yep, that is what is going on". There was never any illusion to me that Galadriel can make him good. Or that he'd want to fix himself for her . He can definitely *see himself* in her or or *see things he wants of her*, and that is a thrill, but he is never gonna want that sweet life he is promising to her. That is so transparently a lie but it is amusing to see him have the absolute NERVE to be that shameless. Dunno, do dark ships need to be "enemies to *lovers*" or have promise of redemption to be attractive? Sometimes it's just dark sexy manipulation and violence. Also, Galadriel is still *good*. She is tempted because temptation is a theme of Tolkien. But the whole point is she resisted the darkness. She isn't gonna overpower Sauron's either, and keep him on a leash. That is literally what Morgoth did. (Sauron would be into that, though, but he'd be a brat about it). Anyway. Is it just because I knew who Sauron was all along? If you want a ship where you get to keep Sauron as a pet, maybe Angbang is for you? Maybe that is why I'm so glad for silvergifting in Season 2, we all seemed to be in the same page as to what is going on. This was gonna be so tragic and kinky we were all here for it. I just seem to keep getting burned by straight ship fandoms having a wildly different vibe than I expect from them.

[nerdishpursuits]

And this is one of the countless reasons I love chatting about Mafin with @midniteowlet: she's my very own toma a Tierra and grounds me, so I can approach things more rationally.

Upon concluding our debate of the current turn of events on the show, Mafin on the whole and their narrative? I've come to look at things as follows. The show very much reflects society as it is: a sad state of affairs where good people hurt and unsavory characters often prevail. The fact that we want everything good and wholesome to triumph at every turn? Idealistic, not realistic. Not to mention lofty expectations actually prevent one from truly appreciating the show, with all its ups and downs and winding roads. And personally, I'd like to keep enjoying it, without getting dragged down the utopian rabbit-hole.

For the most part, the representation we get is actually well crafted: Mafin feels organic, tried and true, and the chemistry between them is undeniable and thrilling. More so? Their story doesn't feel forced and thus, can be promoted to any viewership without it coming across as preachy and condescending, or having an agenda. If anything, Mafin is by far the best developed, healthiest relationship on the show. I, for one, much prefer the portrayal of good communication, heartfelt romance and overcoming obstacles together than a deluge of r-rated scenes. And honestly? We are being offered a damn good story here, even as it fails to satisfy everyone's hopes and demands (which in all honesty, it never could - at the end of the day, someone will always be disappointed)

I'm also reminded of Marta B. mentioning in a recent interview that the show is not aimed exclusively at the sapphic community. As such, it will not depict or cater to its particular needs. It's part of a larger ensemble and needs to appeal to a broad audience. And, when all is said and done, it actually manages to accomplish more with this kind of storytelling: one that's simpler, one that doesn't try to be pedantic. Ergo, they will not linger and preach to the audience. What they will do instead is allow the characters, their circumstances and actions, to speak for themselves. And they will trust they're doing a good enough job to let people draw their own conclusions. So far, I think they've achieved that: there’s heterosexual people watching the novela who love Mafin and think they’re the best couple on the show, there’s elderly people learning to be more open-minded, everyone loves Damian's character development, everyone hates Santiago and acknowledges he is a despicable lowlife etc. The show is moving the pieces along the board quite deftly and it makes for an interesting, if not always gratifying, game.

As for today's episode? There's no doubt that Marta and Fina only have eyes for each other. They're an established couple who will face anything thrown their way as they always have, as one. No mustachioed men will ever change that. Marta and Fina's narrative will never be whether they desperately adore each other. That they do couldn’t be more obvious. Their story? Ever has it been, and will continue to be, about their fight to attain freedom: freedom to live their love in a society that forbids it.

Therefore, I've reached the point where I'm not worried at all about either Santiago or Pelayo. Based on Pelayo's reaction upon learning Marta is a lesbian? I doubt he'll help Santiago in his attempt to sink Marta's ships. To me he comes across as a calculated businessman, but not a heartless one. He stands to profit more from a partnership with the de la Reina family than throwing Marta to the wolves. He also didn't bat an eye at Santiago's reveal, wasn't surprised or outraged. Which, I'll go out on a limb and say, is telling. He's either gay himself or simply plans on advancing his business / political career by securing a partner that won't demand his attention or affection. The first scenario ensures he remains socially upstanding while the second allows him to live as he pleases. To a man like Pelayo? It's a jackpot either way. Hopefully, the benefits outweigh the costs for Marta as well, should the plot move in that direction. And given all the signs? It's already halfway there.

That being said. It remains to be seen what happens to Santiago. I assume, and hope, his little ploy at denouncing Marta to the Civil Guard will cost him, dearly or otherwise. His own thirst for vengeance pushed him to make the wrong move which is, in my opinion, seeking out Pelayo. And while there's plenty of outraged cries that Marta & Fina don't need another man to save them? Let's not forget it's 1958. The likelihood of neither of them attracting a suitor, fake or otherwise unwelcome, is as doubtful as improbable. The fact they managed to successfully evade them so far? Quite the feat.

As for what awaits? Marta won't go to jail, I think, since that card has already been played. Or who knows? We might be surprised. The fear they need to instill in her requires new heights, in order for Marta to reluctantly accept another cage. Mind you, she's still trapped: as much freedom as she currently wields, Marta remains a woman whose very social status entraps her, singling her out as prime real estate. She's the proverbial golden goose, especially as dictated by the mores of society back then. Marta and Fina's shared dream of freedom remains, for now, a dream. One they've almost had at their fingertips, which makes their current circumstances all the more painful. I will say: it stings that Fina won't be the first to read Marta's journal. Undoubtedly, at some point, she will. After all, that journal is a mirror of Marta's very heart. It lays out her deepest fears, her innermost longings. It chronicles the fiercest battles Marta has had to wage with herself, her losses and triumphs, her meditations and hymns, the anguish and the deliverance of her love for Fina. To have it fall into the wrong hands? A violation of the utmost personal, a desecration of what is deemed sacred and untouchable. The diary symbolizes Marta having a safe space to call her own, one where she was allowed to embrace her true self, one that initiated her journey to freedom, her quest to rid herself of her shackles. Santiago has no honorable bone in his body and his hatred towards women, and Marta in particular, drives him to invade and vandalize her privacy, this blessed sanctuary she got to call her own. Let's see if Pelayo rises to the occasion and proves himself as a noble character. You can never have too many allies. Do I still take issue with how certain things are handled, with the inconsistencies and shoddy character work? Definitely. But I’m also able to simply sit back and enjoy. Let's see where all this goeth, shall we? Hello pain, let's go again.

[elhokher]

okay I need to preface this with yes I like having representation and anyone who's been around my blog long enough should know that renarin is my specialest little guy him and him and rlain are very cute and if y'all really need it this is coming from the perspective of a queer man if you turn this into a pissing on the poor type deal I will simply block you but. now that I've had time to stew on it.

the rlainarin arc was a bit boring.

part of this is I think rooted in Brandon trying to be a Good Ally™ doing Good Representation™ and he worked a lot with sensitivity readers to make sure things are handled well but it just felt a bit... tokenizing? like they were in the spiritual realm as a bit of plot convenience but also it kinda felt like an excuse to keep them relevant enough to give them pov chapters. and it's cute! don't get me wrong! but also every other characters get emotional arcs about growing as a person and they got...trying to ask your crush out? it felt very out of place.

now you might be saying hold on! they're not primarily pov characters you can't expect as much nuance emotionally as someone like kaladin. and you're right! but let's look at the other supporting cast members here. jasnah gets the struggle of power and her entire attempt to keep thaylenah which results in a meaningful paradigm shift for her! navani gets to work on her connection with the sibling and uncover the past. we don't even really see much of relationship between renarin and glys much less rlain and tumi. sure they may have been good representation! but they were mediocre arcs. even in the discussions I'm seeing lately of favorite parts, it's not that people have disliked it it's just...nothing to write home about?

it also feels particularly weird to have an arc around "my family will think it's weird" when it's been pretty well established that alethi in general are like. fine with queerness. and sure you can say "well they're nobles" but at this point renarin is in line for 0 titles. dalinar was only going to give king of urithiru to someone who wanted it, jasnah planned on being the last queen of alethkar, there's literally no point? it feels a little love Simon. and yes absolutely in modern western culture people can feel weird about coming out to people who would be accepting and that's fine! but that's also rooted in real world homophobia which alethkar doesn't seem to have.

even when we compare with the other canonically queer stormlight character, it just kinda. . .falls flat. part of this is that shallan wasn't intended to be queer but honestly it feels like it reads well. she doesn't have to turn to camera and say she's different she's bisexual she can just be a person. she can fall in love with adolin she can get flustered around jasnah veil can call women hot and it's like. fine. and it feels more authentic to the setting! a lot of the rlainarin arc in WAT felt like it was meant to be educational. for cishet people. and like that's fine! but it doesn't make for an engaging character arc. I can't even say it really makes for good reading.

and look, I get it, we all like seeing them get flustered and worry about what the other one thinks and we all get to be excited when they confess their feelings and kiss but it just feels so tonally dissonant that like. I can't believe this was intended to fit into the main plot. it feels a bit patronizing - like look we have good healthy representation now! I'm doing so good at this! and genuinely from the bottom of my heart it's thrilling that the largest name in fantasy is willing to do this even more so considering the religious background he's writing from I'm not writing all this to say Brandon is a bad guy or secretly a homophobe I'm just saying. I wish we had more, y'know? something less feel good for the cishets for being good allies something with more of a real plot that engages with the themes of the series and whatnot. I'm looking forward to arc 2 (in like 10-15 years)! I'm looking forward to more rlain and renarin and their dynamic! I just hope it feels less. educational.

anyway a lot of this was directly inspired by verilybitchie's video on good representation it really helped me out my finger on why their arc felt a bit flat so please go check it out she's a great creator.

[redvexillum]

Hello! I absolutely adore your newest piece and have been enjoying your kinktobers so far! However, are we able to have a version of the same scenario or something close to it with a Human Alastor and a reader of color? If you can't, understandable! But I can't help but feel out of place with mentions of pink blush if you understand. Appreciate it!

Hello, Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words – I'm thrilled to hear you’re enjoying Kink(fluff)tober so far! You’ve brought up an important topic, and I want to approach it with care and respect. I apologize if this response is lengthy, but it’s a subject I’m passionate about.

As a writer who is a POC (Asian Canadian), I deeply understand the desire for meaningful representation in literature. When I write "reader" insert stories, my goal is to keep the character as much of a blank slate as possible, which means using very few descriptors. This allows readers of diverse backgrounds to more easily imagine themselves in the story.

Regarding your question about "pink blush" and representation, I believe what you’re requesting is a reader with a particular skin tone. I approach this cautiously, as specifying distinct features can risk excluding some readers. I aim to keep descriptors broad to maintain inclusivity, though I acknowledge that some phrases, like "pink blush," may not resonate with everyone. Many POC, myself included, may experience a similar color change when blushing, but I know this isn’t universal.

Additionally, when I write historical settings, such as Human Alastor in the 1920s, I try to reflect period-specific nuances, including racism. Black Americans' experiences in 1920s New Orleans, for instance, are complex and would require a detailed and well-researched rewrite to authentically represent.

Since I’m an Asian Canadian and not personally connected to the Black experience of that era, I feel I couldn’t do justice to such a perspective. Writing from that viewpoint would require an in-depth understanding I don’t yet have, and I wouldn’t want to risk misrepresenting or underestimating the experience.

Thank you again for your thoughtful question, and I hope my response provides insight into the considerations that go into this kind of writing. 💖

[mage-of-exhaustion]

When can we all stop fighting over June, she was literally confirmed because someone won a contest I simply do not care for a queer headcanon made canon on twitter after the fact because someone found a hidden candy bar, maybe if more had been done with it so far I would care, but ya barely got crumbs of it, like oh no John looked at his nails funny after painting them? I simply do not see it. It’s poorly implemented at best and basically never been done more then be confirmed on social media at worst.

Other characters experiences with gender have been done better, Eridan vriska and roxy’s gender experiences and codings all were done better(especially Eridan god I love that funky nonbinary fish), I just think June was lazily implemented, isn’t even really canon, and honestly near immediately got soured for me when people immediately used it in shipping wars because now June was “better” for shipping with female characters and proceeded to shit on the shippers before for their bad het ship they fixed (I was there, I saw it)

This along with the fact the epilogue and Homestuck 2 is infamous to a lot of fans due to character butchering, with characters like Dirk and Jane getting the worst of it, the existence of fucking Yiffany from rose cheating on kanaya with jade, and so much more utter bullshit it’s not surprising that the full rejection of all of it from a lot of fans isn’t uncommon. Personally I can’t read it because so much about Dirk’s character treatment straight up triggered me when the epilogues came out. I straight up cannot engage with that material safely.

To me, Homestuck ended with a bit of a mediocre finale with the end credits, and the supplementary material in regards to anything past it is dubiously canon at best (the epilogues were presented in a fanfiction format ffs that’s not exactly screaming canon) and that has nothing to do with whatever specific piece of Homestuck 2 you happen to like, by this point the boat has long sank by the fact it’s taken so damn long to even get going

Clarification:

i dont even inherently dislike the idea of june i just hate how she was handled along with the rest of the epilogues and homestuck 2 and view fighting over it as pointless. if they manage to turn it around good great im happy for her! but it was announced what? six years ago by this point? can you really blame someone for not caring with how basically nothing for six years june was? Again, the most you got of canon for six years was one picture of john going "ooo" at nail polish, that is nothing, that is less then nothing, that could mean 2 billion different things.

Roxy got a full ass delving into gender with their pesterquest if i remember right, as did Eridan with his VERY complicated relationship to gender, and Vriska got a lot more coding through mentions of her inexperience with makeup. If June manages to turn it around, I'll be thrilled, but she hasn't yet, she's barely a concept.

I'm not thumbing my nose at characters being transfem, do you know my absolute delight if I dunno, Tavros started talking about how he looked up to Vriska as some icon of womanhood he could never possibly obtain but now that he's grown more he's realized Vriska doesn't get to define what being a woman means to him and came out as a girl? I would lose my mind

My problem isn't "ew girls" its "there was nothing done with this for six years, the post homestuck epilogue stuff has been shown to be extremely careless with sensitive subjects, looking at you jade, i do not trust it or consider it good representation from the dismal showing"

[qsycomplainsalot]

So I watched Furiosa

Furiosa Road: a Star Wars Story. It wasn't likely to live up to Fury Road, and it didn't. It would have been a tall order. While it was well worth paying to see in theaters, I was still a little disappointed; I'm going to explain why, without spoilers, and then after a very visible cut I'll comment on a few specific things in the movie.

First of all it felt long, but not two hours long so I guess it speaks to its quality. Going through the cast, everyone did a good job, although I wasn't blown away by the on screen chemistry of Anya Taylor-Joy and Tom Burke. More on that later. Chris Hemsworth as the overarching antagonist is this movie's standout performance, in a way that I'm somewhat conflicted about. More on that later too.

Overall it feels as if, after making Fury Road a trim and thrilling movie, the creatives behind it strung together all the piles of amazing ideas they had left on the cutting room floor into another complete movie, but not a very cohesive story with a beginning middle and end with enough connective tissue to captivate an audience. There's no shortage of props, costumes, characters, stunts and just straight up visuals, although the music is not up to the standards set by Fury Road. What's really missing is a tight knit script.

I'd say watch it if you like the franchise, otherwise I'd just wait for it to release on small screens.

My biggest complaint with this movie is that it's split between two relationships, between Hemsworth as Dementus or Tom Burke as Jack with Furiosa, when really with how it's paced it could barely afford one. I am just completely confused by people saying Jack and Furiosa's relationship was the highlight of the movie, it was vague, bland, and Jack died before I could really care about him. All this relationship did was explain how Furiosa became so good at driving a war rig, despite the fact that by this point in the movie she'd fended for herself just fine, presumably using what she'd been taught by the vuvuzela tribe. Likewise Dementus as a character is extremely simple, in a good way, and is the a better representation of time passing in the movie than literal text onscreen telling you it's been fifteen years or some such. It's on the nose, but Chris Hemsworth is acting his heart out and it's always a joy to see him on screen. He's spiraling his way through the movie in a perfect exemple of what Furiosa must avoid becoming. So knowing that, the main plot should be about Furiosa having to lose her way home (the star map tattoo on her arm, which we know she lose by Fury Road) and choose to stay at the Citadel to kill him, setting up a bitter ending where she's gained nothing and is stuck killing more people instead of letting go of revenge and going home. Unfortunately Furiosa: the video game: the movie very much lives in the shadow of its 2015 sequel, and so the plot is split further to set that up. I've talked about how it hurts the pacing and how much screentime the other characters could have gotten, but I think it actually greatly diminished the ending. The end of Furiosa has her catch up to Dementus, bind him and beat him up, asking him to give her her childhood and mother back, only for Dementus to refuse to play along in anyway. He tells her that revenge achieves nothing, that he knows from personal experience and that she can kill him however she wants, that he doesn't particularly care. I don't do it justice it's a pretty good end to his arc this movie. Instead of Furiosa killing him there and then and validating that speech for a cohesive theme to the movie (keeping the hope stuff for Fury Road where it works), the history man voiceover tells us that although the true end of Dementus is disputed, Furiosa told him the truth, that she kept him alive with a peach tree growing out of his dick ?? And then she brings the peach to Immortan's wives in the Citadel, and then the credits are interspersed with shots from Fury Road. I can excuse the impossibility of keeping someone alive while a tree is growing on them for the sake of Mad Max movies very much being wasteland fairy tales, but I think directly linking Furiosa: Road One with Fury Road like that is both pointless and very hamfisted, on top of being a big disappointment when it comes to Dementus' character. Like the guy was clearly fucked up from losing his daughters just kill him and be done with it. Anyway yeah I don't think I'll rewatch this movie nearly as often as I rewatch Fury Road. Shoutout to the Octoboss though, he's the Most Valuable Sidecharacter of this movie.

[impossibleprincess35]

Since you're an American, what are your thoughts on the comparisons of the Duchess and the Death Watch to the election? I read one of your stories and you compare them to alt-right politics in the U.S. Thx!

Heyoooooo, thanks for the ask! I'm going to go TL;DR, so please forgive me and feel free to wish you'd never asked. :)

So, I've never been a Trump voter. Never. It's been a major point of contention with close family and friends, and in the 8 years since his first campaign, it has been eye opening watching people blatantly fall for fascism in the guise of security and strength.

And so, during the pandemic, dealing with so much misinformation and seeing so many people subject others to danger to make a point about their "freedom," when I rewatched "The Clone Wars," the Mandalore storylines hit so much harder.

A lot of times, when people are hating on the Satine character and blaming her for Mandalore's fall, what I see is a lack of acknowledgement that Death Watch was so hell-bent on getting their way that they had to stage incidents to make her look weak and unfit as a ruler. They weren't starving. They weren't exiled from their system. They got a moon. They had political representation with a governor. They had resources. But instead of using everything at their disposal to do better and to evolve as a people, they used it to stage bombings, attacks, and incidents that only hurt their own people and undermined their own system.

But what Death Watch did so well was they spun a narrative that is so false that even FANS believe it.

Like, we're supposed to see that they're domestic terrorists.

But people are out here like, "Fuck Satine, she's the worst."

Oh, okay.

As an American, I've seen two viable, suitable female candidates who have lost to Donald Trump, a piece of shit grifter, a convicted felon, an impeached dirtbag of a human being, and BOTH of these women have lost.

The bar is so high for them, and it's so low for Trump.

And I see that with Satine Kryze and Pre Vizsla.

The damning theories about Satine committing genocide on her people and white-washing them of their history and culture are assumptions made from information given to us on the show by Almec, who turns out to be as corrupt as Pre Vizsla and Tal Merrik, and inferred from the animation choices made due to budget constraints; but those things are held over Satine's head and her reputation as though they are gospel. As though she herself confirmed them.

Meanwhile, Pre Vizsla is out here running an entire terrorist group that intends to destabilize Mandalore's peaceful government just to reassert themselves as strong warriors. He has shown us who he is. He shows us every time we see him on screen after his reveal as the leader of Death Watch. He commits himself to it. He has gaggles of lackeys behind him putting him up on a pedestal, enabling him.

But Satine's always the villain, and always to blame; nevermind the fact that she has proven herself to be a resilient leader who put her people above all else, including her own desires, and she fights to keep them out of the fray between the Republic and the Separatists. More than anything else, their stability and their independence is her top priority.

And I guess, for me, I see strength in Satine's diplomacy, strength in her kindness, strength in her restraint; so when I see people who only acknowledge strength in name calling, in divisiveness, in threats of violence, like Pre Vizsla and Death Watch, I'm instantly reminded of the crowd of American politics who believe that we must bully our way around the world.

The bar for women, especially women of color, is set so high that it's unattainable; but the bar for men is so low it's in hell.

And as an American who voted for Vice President Kamala Harris, and who was genuinely thrilled to imagine a Harris/Walz administration, I've found myself annoyed by the remarks about her that I've read. The claims that she's not tough. That she couldn't hold her own with a room of world leaders. Because I don't see that. And I'm heartbroken to see that the popular vote wanted brute force and displays of bully behavior instead of a steady, calm hand to bring us together as a nation.

Worst of all, I fear the very possible outcome that, much like Mandalore, Americans are sacrificing their liberties for what they believe is security (ie. the xenophobic hate and the border talking points, lower grocery prices, etc.), but like Ben Franklin said, they'll lose both and deserve neither.

And in Mandalore's case, the people were scammed into believing that Satine failed them, when really, the attack on Sundari was an inside job - and when the flames of fear were stoked, the people turned on Satine, on peace, for the safety they believed Death Watch was going to bring them.

And then their asses got glassed by the Empire.

I look at what's going on around me, and I'm disappointed because I'm a dumb optimistic bitch who believed Americans were better than this. And there's a lot of blame to go around, but the vibe is off and things do not feel right. My gut tells me that the game was rigged - that Madam VP Harris was meant to fail from the word go, because the right aligned themselves to win at all costs, even at the costs of their own nation.

But Jyn Erso said it best: Rebellions are built on hope.

So, hopefully we don't get glassed..?

Jesus, how do I even end this post?

I'm sorry. I know you're wishing you'd never asked. <3

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.

[cupcake-hearts]

So I'm watching 'Class of the Titans' and I have some opinions, mainly about the gods.

Keep in mind I've only watched up to episode 18 of the first season.

Hermes - goofball. Love him. Like most on this list I wasn't sure about his design, but I have to get over the fact this isn't 'Blood of Zeus' (they can't all be sexy.) also him being Odie's mentor is so cute. Especially if you listen to 'epic' the musical.

Hera- honestly, I like how she's in charge. I still don't know where Zeus went but I really don't miss him. Very mature, very mothering, very different from ancient Greece Hera. I think she is supposed to be Jay's mentor, but nobody said it specifically.

Athena - 'badass in the arena', and best den mother. Not sure about her running around barefoot but they definitely leaned more into her warrior fighting side than the wisdom side.

Artemis - HAS KIDS!? what part of virgin goddess did they not understand? Atlanta being her descendant just throws me off. I love her but they should have made an Amazon her ancestor (more thoughts on that for another post). At this point I haven't seen enough of her to say yeah or neigh. Definitely don't hate her and she seems fun.

Herakles- like Artemis, not much to go on. He seems cool. I do head cannon that Harry's grandma is also a descendant from Herakles. How else do you explain this 80 something year old bad ass riding a giant eagle in battle?

Ares- considering his representation in modern media it could have been a lot worse. In the show he's still this gruff and sometimes rude warrior type, but never even close to evil or bad. I think he's supposed to be Archie's mentor. Weird choice considering the gods I listed above all have some close connection to the kids' ancestors. Closest connection would be the Trojan War, during which Achilles kills one of Ares's daughters.😬

Persephone - wasn't thrilled with her first appearance but I actually like her, demon tantrums and all. From what I remember, Theresa doesn't know much about Greek mythology, but she knows that Persephone spends time in both the underworld and living world, meaning that they must have talked about their personal lives to each other. I find that adorable.

Aphrodite - my queen! Just shallow enough to be vain but not uncaring or unkind. Much like the others, I'm sad we don't get to see more of her. Her relationship with Neil seems to be the closest and I have a feeling they knew each other long before Kronos broke out of Tartarus.

[stunning-eclipse]

So... DID and the Daycare Attendant.

I don't think I need to do an introduction to everyone's favorite Daycare Attendant, so I'm going to start this off with a description of DID and what it's like to live with it, because I in fact have it!

DID is a weird case. It's both easy and hard to live with. My alters have saved my life in some cases, and they've made me have some strained relationships as well. One moment I'm here, then one positive/negative trigger later and I'm gone and someone else is piloting this fleshy mech. I have around 20 alters, some with names, some unnamed, some fictives, some ordinary people. But funnily enough, I have two fictives that take after Sun and Moon (named Sunnydrop and Moon respectively). They're both friendly, at least Moon is nowadays, but they've been around for a long time.

A positive or negative trigger is whenever something happens that brings an alter to front. Music, games, voices, people, etc can all be triggers for an alter to front, as well as trauma or distress which are typically referred to as negative triggers. We'll get back to that later when we talk about the lights off and Sun and Moon's positive triggers.

So! How about we get into why Sun and Moon (and Eclipse) are positive DID representation!

Here's why the Daycare Attendant is a great representation of DID!

First off, I want to regard the whole "Moon is an evil alter" thing. While yes, we are led to believe that he is indeed evil, there are a few interesting things about him that still make him excellent as representation. Remember how I said my alter Moon is friendly nowadays? Yeah, well not all alters are friendly off the bat and they can be quite aggressive based on whichever trauma they are defending you from. My alter Moon defends me from my abandonment trauma and trusts no one, and therefore can get really aggressive and even violent towards people. Not all alters are going to be friendly, and while I'm not saying they'll just be murderous killers looking for the thrill of a hunt, they can be mean. Really mean.

Now I wanna get into the smaller bits. When someone with DID is going through a switch, it's not as easy as "oh well he's gone now say hi to this other guy." It can be that easy on occasion, but most of the time it is a slow and painful process. Migraines, fighting for control for minutes on end... just like how Sun and Moon react. Moon mentions his gears are grinding in his head when trying to hold off Sun, not only having a fight for control, but a migraine as well. We can also see Sun struggle with the same pain in the base game when you turn the lights off.

You can also tell the two know each other pretty well. Sun never refers to Moon by name, but it's very clear he sees him as a threat and has seen the stuff Moon has done while fronting. This is called co-fronting. When someone is still conscious and watching whatever the alter is doing while they're fronting, that's when they are co-fronting. And in Ruin, you can see they are co-fronting the entire segment. Moon also refers to Sun by name plenty, meaning they are both aware of each other and really aren't fond of not being in control of the body.

Their pronoun usage of we and us is also incredibly accurate!! When I'm dissociating, I will refer to myself as we and us due to not being the only one fronting and sometimes being unsure of who's actually in control in the moment. Sun seems to do that plenty whenever he's distressed, alluding to Moon being present or trying to front in the moment. And once Moon's positive trigger is used, aka the lights being off, he can finally assume control. It does seem like Moon has stress as another positive trigger due to Sun's usage of plural pronouns but that's more of a theory than anything concrete, so I'll move on.

Here's my favorite part... Man, Sun and Moon are very similar. Scarily so. When someone has alternate personalities, they will all share some minor similarities. Queen and I share the same germophobia, Sunnydrop and I are both artists, Moon and I both have social anxiety. Etc etc. In the case of Sun and Moon, they both are very energetic and can't stand still. They bounce side to side or move in very eccentric ways. They both have an innate need to clean up, showing a sign of hating things being messy. They both tend to laugh a lot, have similar vocal inflictions, and even growl their words (listen to Sun in Help Wanted 2, he growls so much.) They both respect not going behind the desk, and supposedly want the kids to be safe and well assuming Moon is indeed hacked and not evil from the start. They both rock the jester aesthetic too which, sure they're dressed like them but, they sure do act like clowns. In the end, the two are strangely similar outside of one of them being obsessed with killing you.

Finally... let's talk about Eclipse. Eclipse is a third alter and very similar to a fusion between the two jesters. Calm and collected, while also remaining protective and very clean-centric, Eclipse is... very clearly the "host" alter of the three. An alter that is a mixture of the others? Yeah, very clearly, he is the host, so the main personality that primarily controls the body. Meaning Sun and Moon are both alters, making Sun a positive friendly alter! Don't see those in media very often, huh? Also, the fact there's three of them makes me incredibly happy, I always see DID represented by just one alter present. But there's three! Not a realistic number by any means, but it's better than one.

So... yeah!!! That's my basic run-through of how the Daycare Attendant is a positive representation of DID! If I missed anything or if you guys have questions, please shoot me a message or comment and I'd love to answer questions! Thanks for reading if you did! We appreciate it!

[athousandbyeol]

discussion #6 (only friends): boyfriend, bed friend and friend with benefit— are these colours a possible 'spoiler' to their ending?

three couple posters were released, and i'm thrilled to see three primary colours representing each pair. after sanray's green bed friend and topmew's red boyfriend were shared, i speculated bostonnick's to be yellow. one of the reasons this prediction arise is because of the nature of their relationship/personality and also my personal opinion on these pairs' possible ending.

however, i saw this tweet last night and i thought it was very insightful. thanks to op for sharing their input. it's interesting to observe these colours associated with each pair from the viewpoint of the traffic light. :)

thus, in this post, i wish to highlight some core points and assumptions about the dynamic/nature of each pair that corresponds with their designated colours; red, green and yellow.

as always, this (and any) of my discussion post is a space to welcome a disparity of thoughts from everyone who watches this drama. please take it with a grain of salt. :)

[warning: a very long post ahead].

let's begin.

topmew | boyfriend [jealousy and manipulation]

first and foremost, when this poster dropped, i was surprised. i didn't expect topmew to get this colour. i was expecting red to represent sanray because of their passion and overall fieriness. even in the trailer, we can see how tense those two are, like fire on fire, one inciting the flame and the other just making it worse.

however, after watching the trailer again, i understand the purpose of red as topmew's colour.

before we jump into the assumption, let's dive into the meaning behind the colour.

red: an emblem of true love and revenge

red often symbolises strength, passion, action and energy. the simplest example i can use in this context is the red rose. usually, a red rose is given to glorify the profound love a person has for someone. it's ironic considering red is also the colour of blood— and blood is somewhat a sacred and eerily beautiful symbol of infatuation in many love, tragic, horror and sad stories.

despite its positive connotations, red also means danger, anger, revenge and aggression. as i've mentioned, red is another classic symbol/motif/metaphor of anger used in many stories or movies— the best example is also blood.

why red is topmew's colour?

jealousy

interestingly, aside from the poster, there's something else in the tweet that needs attention.

เราเล็งใครไว้ ไม่เคยพลาดนะ translates to whoever we aim for, we never miss. this is the line top says to mew when they are playing laser tag (which looks so fun).

i find it fascinating when top says this because it happens after top catches mew hugging ray;

why does this matter? well, i believe this is the start of top's jealousy.

the clenched jaw, his body tensing, and a tiny bit of sadness in those eyes— i have to say, this is one of the points that can potentially be top's moment of epiphany. this (or the kiss in the shower) might be when top realises he likes mew.

additionally, it's very ironic that topmew are playing laser tag; a game that focuses on strategising and 'killing' your opponent. this somehow makes me view topmew's relationship as a hunter hunting its prey. however, in their case, top believes he's the hunter (as explained in top's introduction post, top is the top of everything). yet, top has never met the best opponent. not until mew.

p'book explained that mew is helpful and generous with his friends. but one thing he despises the most is dishonesty. people who take advantage of him will face the greatest disaster. these are very strong representations of mew's character, already denoting mew's colour as red. my initial thought was mew was generally blue (calm and level-headed), but his colour will change when his trust on top falters.

furthermore, as i've mentioned in my previous discussion posts, mew is more than what we think he is. the introduction post is already giving so much of mew's personality and vibe. he doesn't smile that much, and his eyes are very dark and hollow. the smirk he wears is not really evident, but it promises a sinister and potent impact. (once again, kudos to p'book for portraying these nuances of mew so well even in the intro video. i still get goosebumps when i watch it.)

top thinks he can outsmart mew. i believe he's going to eat his words someday.

side note: boston displays lenience when he's with top. boston is more of the submissive type with top, proof is taken when they had sex in the car, boston does all the work. this illustrates the power top has over boston and his reluctance to lose. it's also likely that boston was the one who called top that night, even though he (might have) known top was with mew before.

when top knows he likes mew— genuinely likes him and experiences jealousy for the first time— this is why he (and mew) represents red; you're mine. don't be someone else's. just mine.

manipulation

next, in the shower scene, top says—

—and is followed by a kiss.

as p'force mentioned in his intro post, the word love that comes from top's mouth is never sincere.

side note: i'm a bit conflicted when i learned about this because it made me think of two possibilities, 1) top genuinely falls for mew after they become boyfriends or 2) top never likes mew and he's just playing with him (like his other boyfriends/casual hookups). i hope top will like mew for real because if he doesn't, it won't really add much to his character— or simply, it'll just make him a flat character at the end. also, it doesn't give significance to mew's character as well, given his transformation is deeply rooted in top's dishonesty.

in both scenes, top says things that i personally don't understand its significance, but it's his way of claiming ownership and setting foot in mew's life, an indication that mew is his and he wants mew (and everyone) to know that.

it's a form of subtle manipulation from top— masked with sweet promises and again, (faked) honesty. top knows it's the only way to gain mew's trust: by making mew believe that top only sees and wants mew.

top surprises me in this frame because is that jealousy and anger on his face? (i think it is).

it's the way he says it. the slight quiver of his voice, the quietness of it almost brings forth his insecurity about losing mew's trust. although he's certain mew likes him too, ray is mew's friend and they've known each other longer than mew knows top. in one way or another, mew will possibly believe ray more than top, given mew hates dishonesty in a friendship/relationship. mew will treasure anyone who treasures him, but top worships and bends mew's trust simultaneously. something painful will be the price top has to pay after the truth unfolds.

another act of manipulation i noticed from mew is when top hugs mew and cries.

i believe mew might want a break-up at this point, but top doesn't want to. the little smile mew wears is an indication that mew knows he won this fight— he successfully manipulated top into thinking yes, i'm wrong. yes, i lied to you. yes, i can't live without you. an honourable mention includes mew's little smirk when top hugs him on the bed.

mew has it in him— that instinct— the hey, this top guy is interesting. mew keeps his cards safely in his hands, and once he thinks it's best to use them, oh, he will.

it's going to be very fascinating if this is the shift of mew's transformation— if this will be the second mew starts kicking off his plans on destroying top.

topmew's possible ending

as red signifies revenge, i think topmew won't be the endgame.

i personally think it'll be silly/unrealistic if mew still gives top a chance even after discovering about him and boston. it also doesn't add up to mew's personality as someone who is determined, resolute and sticks to his virtues. them being together at the end isn't what i want. the ending i want from topmew is 1) top will learn from his mistakes and 2) mew doesn't rely on love and friendship to determine the route of his personal life (he should take charge and make decisions for himself).

i assume topmew's break-up will be the start of mew's character growth and a revelation of top's true personality. but them being the endgame? i hope they won't. hehe.

//it's funny to me considering i adore forcebook but i don't want topmew to end up together...//

sanray | bed friend [safety and envy]

previously, i correlated sanray with greed and gluttony (thoroughly explained in this post). i view sanray as the right person and right time, but ray is somewhat too afraid to admit it, and san is somehow 'weak' to make ray believe it's true.

however, despite the turmoils they face in this relationship, there's a strong feeling of positivity i get from these two (and also bostonnick). why?

do you notice: sanray and bostonnick have always been honest with each other?

ray says he just wants someone to keep him company. san wishes ray can just focus on him. boston says he doesn't love nick that way. nick wishes boston can only love him. from the start of their relationship, they always vocalise what they really want from each other.

side note: topmew is different because they aren't honest, to begin with. we can expect a painful downfall from a relationship that is based on deceit.

but what is green, and why does it symbolise sanray's relationship?

green: a token of hope and balance

the colour generally has a positive meaning. green often resembles nature, and nature encompasses home, balance and relaxation. yet, green also means envy and judgement, hence the saying, green with envy.

why green is sanray's colour?

safety

ray (and i assume, top) are battling with different mental health issues. possibly, ray suffers from depression (assumption made by the bathtub scene when mew hugs ray),

and top is insomniac (pills scattering near the sink).

(i can be wrong).

what i'm trying to say is ray might feel 'bare' and 'naked' as his feelings for mew aren't reciprocated. this also roots in his insecurity in knowing that this won't change— mew won't ever like him— especially after he likes top. ray knows he no longer has a chance with mew despite still liking mew. and that messes with his head.

what does ray want in his life? security. a home. a place to be and feel safe.

i don't know if i can explain this well, but there's always dread whenever something doesn't go how we want it to be? i think that's ray's major problem: he can't come to terms with his feelings. he sees the world as a solid entity. he doesn't possess the fluidity to 'shape' himself differently from that belief. thus, this is why ray is so afraid of the growing infatuation he has for san, because san isn't in that box— it has always been mew. but mew doesn't want to be in that box— san does.

ray is a ticking bomb in the sense that he's very unexpected and volatile. there are many instances in the trailer that shows ray's explosive reaction and approach when he confronts san. one of the examples is when ray says having san in his life won't make it better (it's the opposite. ray knows this too.)

all he wants is safety and assurance. ray also wants clarity and an end to the doubts in his head. befriending san, having this 'bed friend' relationship helps ray see that it's possible. but as i explained, ray doesn't know if he can have that with san. it's a very sad and (twisted) understanding of love. ray believes he's 'cheating' on mew by having romantic feelings for san. yet, i reckon, mew doesn't want ray to feel that way. mew also wants ray to find his happiness, even if it's not from/with him.

i do believe ray's perception of love will change. there's going to be a cathartic moment he experiences one day that gives him the certitude he needs. san has always been the door that ray can open anytime. it's only a matter of acceptance and forgiveness that will save ray from his own devils. it's only a matter of time for ray to accept his feelings as they are— to take san's hands and walk on this journey together.

envy

envy is a potent driving force between san and ray. even though it's mainly from ray, san also shows nuances of envy.

in one way or another, san knows ray likes mew. but san likes ray— ray (who isn't ready) to like san back.

the pattern i see in every couple is they're each other's reflection. they might not realise it now, but they will when they're about to lose their other half.

in sanray's case, san hasn't fully grasped ray's train of thought. although he assumes he knows what ray is thinking, his speculations aren't entirely true. it's also because san has his own ideas about ray and how this relationship should work.

san wants to fit ray into his mould and expects ray to abide by it, but he knows too well that ray is still bound to mew. this will frustrate san the most and further amplifies his anger/despair/jealousy.

(why must first cry in every role he acts in? my heart is breaking for him...)

i guess it has to do with san's personality as a survivor (extracted from san's intro post). he battles with himself every day to make ends meet. he isn't financially well-off while ray is rich.

furthermore, from this line included in the poster tweet;

เพื่อนกัน เค้าไม่คิดตังค์เว้ย = friends, they don't think about money, parallel this scene—

—which adds another layer to san's character as a faithful/sincere/kind person/lover. he doesn't blur the lines between friendship and love if his feelings aren't involved (making him a bit selfish, but it's a given when a person so strong-headed and passionate like san starts loving something/someone). from the beginning, san never wants ray's money even though that's the most important thing in his life.

different living status promises a different set of challenges. i don't mean to be biased, but the reality is, the poor will always endure the toughest battle. therefore, san's insecurity is valid, and his confusion is necessary. why?

as san's feelings for ray grow, he starts doubting his worth. he doesn't have much to offer, only his body, soul and time— that's all. san will make deductions— am i just only that to ray? just a bed friend? can he ever be more than that to ray?

sanray's possible ending

sanray is the pair that i hope (and somehow confident) will get a happy ending.

there's so much to them that fits the holes and gaps in each other. they do feel like two people finally finding one another after all the chaos and heartbreaks. they make me want to root for them because the pain they've endured is just so gut-wrenching that i insist they'll be the endgame no matter the circumstances.

i also believe since green is their colour, sanray will achieve that balance and harmony in the end. despite not knowing how and when they'll get to that stage, i'm quite certain they'll be together. these two incendiary characters can finally simmer down the rupturing fire in them by being together, taking and discarding the positive and negative, and also achieving the clarity they've always wanted— together.

bostonnick | friend with benefit [happiness and egoism]

from the two trailers, we get so little of boston and nick's dynamic. it touches on the core elements; lust and envy (further explained in this post). we're seeing only the gist of what and who they are to each other and other people, which attributes to a wonderful surprise awaiting us once only friends airs.

i expected bostonnick's colour will be either yellow or orange, and i'm happy my assumption hit the jackpot this time hehe. although boston's character is likely the antagonist of the story, nick balances his negativity really well. nick's brightness manages to dull boston's darkness.

yellow: a sign of happiness and egoism

yellow is generally a happy colour. it reminds me of the sun; bright and hot. yellow is often associated with cheerfulness and energy. it's a colour that incites many good emotions.

even though this colour shines with positivity, yellow can also represent cowardice and lies; it also acts as a precautionary sign; kind of like the traffic light; yellow— prepare to stop (not to speed up hahaha).

why yellow is bostonnick's colour?

happiness (light)

i see bostonnick as yellow because i think they're genuinely happy when they're together.

boston to me is very red, and nick is somewhat white. they're from two different ends of the colour spectrum, with nick being the bright sunshine while boston is the dark clouds. however, i see only positive influences nick has on boston, mainly when they meet outside of the bed and in the red (developing) room.

their relationship might begin because of boston's habit/obsession with capturing moments of sex with his partners. nick might be the tech-savvy guy that is coincidentally working on the day boston pays a visit. the universe really wants them to meet somehow.

i can't exactly picture how they go from this;

to this;

i guess the attraction is mutual from the first encounter (or one of them is very horny at that time [read: boston]), and they begin to confide in each other afterwards.

although we know the foundation of their relationship is mainly boston seeking nick's help (with his equipment (?) and urges), there are also moments of them spending time with each other like how lovers do. the wakeboarding date (?) and other possible meetings are just happy days spent together.

moreover, it's evident that nick is happy to be boston's favourite.

regardless of boston still having an on-and-off connection with top, boston will cave into nick more and more because nick can give him everything he wants fast. nick's availability appeals so much to boston. this makes nick his favourite because again— boston and his idea of controlling the things he likes— applies to nick too.

side note: i don't know if boston is a sex manic or he's insatiable, but i assume nick doesn't mind feeding boston's constant need for intimacy (even though it'll hurt him the most eventually).

ego

boston has a big ego, and he knows this. that ego is one of boston's strongest (and toxic) traits. like top, boston believes he can have everything and anything he wants. why? because of his brazenness, boston doesn't really have much fear in him as well as decency. he's the go-big-or-go-home type of person. this portion of boston is also one of his most appealing qualities, and nick clearly takes the bait.

however, boston's ego is also his greatest downfall. he thinks he won't be affected if someday, nick decides to leave him for good (and go to p'papang's character, which i honestly approve of). when that day comes, it will make boston realise (hopefully) that the truth is; he does love nick all along.

but this is the thing boston and top have in common: they don't understand what love is. the concept of love to them is vague and stupid. they don't know if true love exists, and i'm guessing it has to do with their (painful? embarrassing?) past experiences. they perceive love in the same manner; sex. they objectify their loved ones to benefit their pride and ego. if they don't get something in return, it'll be useless. they won't use them.

boston says he never loves nick because he knows he has never given nick anything but pain and pleasure. a part of boston is aware that he's unforgivingly mean, but it's a feature he can't discard easily; this ego. boston can't see himself falling to his knees and acknowledging his feelings for nick because that hurts his pride.

boston is a walking disaster, and he doesn't want to lose that title— he glorifies that label— because it makes him feel powerful and in control, a common trait of a narcissist.

and because boston clouds himself by believing nick is just an object, he gets angry when nick stops serving his purpose; to satisfy boston. it infuriates boston that nick found his voice and wants boston to listen to his needs. boston can't let that happen, mainly because of his ego. he's just too prideful to be at anyone's mercy.

it's not because nick can't get enough of boston— it's boston who never thinks nick is enough.

side note: let's be real— top chooses mew. top wants mew. top sees boston as an object of lust. that's all. what he does to nick is what top does to him. it's like boston's cry of protest— feeling unwanted by someone he (thinks) he wants.

yet, boston also uses his ego to control, play and manipulate nick's feelings.

sadly, nick's honesty gets the best of him because boston prefers to overlook that sincerity; nick's desire for love.

กูแค่อยากให้มึงรักกูคนเดียว = i just want you to love only me; boston can't. his ego doesn't let him.

bostonnick's possible ending

i'm inclined to bostonnick having an open/ambiguous ending. like the colour yellow, there's going to be a balance of optimism and cowardice. nick might still want to be with boston despite the hell boston brings into his life because he really loves boston. unlike mew, nick doesn't have malicious intent (i don't see this in him, really) in seeking revenge etc. he reminds me of the character that is truly broken by a person they love the most. nick somehow illustrates how pure love is and how painful it can be.

also, it'll be exciting if there's a redemption arc for boston as he's likely the antagonist of this story (honourable mention will be mew). he might realise nick's worth and start things over. there'll be hesitation and doubts— does nick still loves me?— but if boston is honest and willing to fix this, nick is always open to accepting him.

nick has a soft spot in my heart and i'm genuinely hoping better days will come to him (because mark shared in nick's intro post, nick cried so much. it's rare to get a smiling nick).

conclusion

colours play an important role in telling or showing intent, purpose and significance. it's a widely used symbol/motif/theme/metaphor to give the audience a better picture of the storyline, plot, characters, etc.

as always, i find it interesting that these primary colours are so basic but it gives so much depth to these three couples. all of them are distinctly unique with so many humane attributes. it's riveting almost to see three different dynamics in a series.

their red and green and yellow will bring forward so many colourful emotions from us. are we ready to be painted black at the end of the drama?

side note: do you know? the first step in making black is mixing red, green and yellow.

(i tried it with pencil colours and it's almost black. all it needs is a touch of blue.)

what awaits us? are these colours the possible spoiler to each pair's destiny? let's find out starting this saturday. surely, it'll be a hell of a ride.

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

references:

only friends twitter page

only friends pilot trailer

only friends official trailer

colour meanings: red | green | yellow

[woeismyhoe]

I'm gonna preface this by saying I have no problem with representation. I love queer stories, especially when they're organic and natural. I'm bi, and I've had fulfilling relationships with women as well as men. Honestly, I would love a spin-off on Brimsley and Reynolds. It didn't feel.....forced. the characters were new and their story grew organically. Michaela? No. I'm trying to articulate how I feel without sounding like I hate the queer community because I genuinely don't. I appreciated Benedict's story line even if it was a little jarring. He's exploring, experimenting and that's fine. It still doesn't take away from his story. But the introduction of Michaela felt like a guy punch. It felt wrong. I've never particularly like gender swapping in stories based on an original IP, because it changes a lot of dynamics. It changes a lot of story lines. And yes, it's fiction, but I'm sorry I cannot get over it, especially when it's such a blatant case of pandering. It makes me feel as if I'm wrong to question this change and I've somehow internalised homophobia. If so, then why wouldn't I hate other queer characters or be similarly uncomfortable?

Okay I think I can make my argument clear with an example. If anyone has seen the movie Love Lies Bleeding, I think they'll get it. The sexual orientation of the characters didn't matter. It felt right. And it was not important to the story. It was just an established dynamic and we could enjoy the plot easily. It wouldn't have mattered if it was a heterosexual couple or a homosexual couple, the story is largely unchanged. If Michael becomes Michaela, here's the issues I see. Who inherits Kilmartin. We've already established an estate will go to the next male heir if the current owner dies. A major part of Michael's story was his guilt over his inheritance and his imposter syndrome. His story arc taking his place in parliament. It's all gone. I mean, I know the show isn't interested in the plots other than the main character pairing but this felt so wrong. If they wanted a lesbian lead, the just make another show with original characters why force this? I'm not looking forward to Francescas season at all. I'm sure a lot of people will like it and that's their prerogative but for me, personally, the only thing keeping the story moving forward is Benedict. Maybe Eloise. But I feel like the story of the show has lost its charm and has dug itself into a hole like Disney or marvel

I’m going to try to be respectful as possible. As a lesbian, it’s deeply concerning and infuriating to me how so many people including ppl from the community have internalized misogyny and homophobia to queer women. Just because you support and don’t have an issue with queer male stories doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic to queer female stories. Just because you’re bi doesn’t mean you can’t be homophobic. Why do you think majority of mlm stories are consumed by women? Why are the stories written and targeted towards women instead of the couple’s own community?

There’s an issue going on right now where many fans are okay and THRILLED with Benedict being bi and sleeping with a man, yet complaining about Francesca and Michaela— both have revealed that they have a potential to turn into queer stories. But no one’s batting an eye to Sophie being erased for Benedict’s potential gay partner. People are more okay with a lesbian Eloise than Francesca, and maybe because Eloise fits the stereotype more than Francesca. Why????

Maybe you need to reflect on why you’re feeling this way since you’re clearly favoring queer male stories over queer female stories. Why is a straight male character’s arc more important than a sapphic character who can go through the same arc and even MORE? Why are you okay with Benedict but not with Francesca? Why does Brimsley and Reynolds feel natural but Francesca and Michael is forced and pandering? Why is making sapphic representation pandering unless it’s based on stereotypes, but not gay representation?

This is Bridgerton. They made POCs part of the elites, it’s not historically accurate, the medicine and technology isn’t historically accurate. I see no reason why they won’t change the law at some point for it to be possible for a woman to inherit titles and estates. Even if they don’t go into that direction, I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more story to explore for a sapphic character.

There’s so many variants of Michael in other stories and media, he’s not special. But Michaela?? How many stories are there even in the mainstream media where we get a happy WLW couple that doesn’t end in tragedy? Literally 0. There’s no happy ending anywhere in popular media because Bury Your Gays is the default fate of every queer female story that gets even slightly popular. You say make a new show with sapphic characters yet 90% of the time they get cancelled after the first season and this is something we’ve been dealing with for decades and trying to call out.

So again, why is a straight couple’s story more important to you than a WLW couple who can offer a more unique, nuanced portrayal of yearning, desire, betrayal to one’s self, crisis of faith, even loss of identity and room to show politics in the Bridgerton world like how they did with Queen Charlotte— and make a bigger impact on how the public perceives queer women?

You’re uncomfortable with a queer female character changing what you know and are familiar with in the books— that she can’t possibly compare to what a male character can offer. It’s ironic how awfully similar that sounds to homophobes who can’t accept the existence of queer women in society because god forbid a woman can do what a man can for a woman, or even do better.

Don’t watch it if you don’t want to. The rest of us will feel valued and seen and enjoy it together when the season comes out while you distance yourself further from the sapphic community.

TLDR; Queerness makes the story richer than any straightness will.