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drgngutz · 3 months ago

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9 - Coast - Luffy x f!soulmate!reader

Chapter 9

Taglist: @mystic60 , @louisechec , @pinksh1t , @violetmatcha , @urbisexualfriend

Masterlist!

Content below the cut <3

It's been quite a couple of days since that night. So, let’s have a little recap:

First, the crew had managed to run into marines, my first encounter with them so far, and it was terrifying. They shot cannons at us even as we managed to lose them in a fog, the crew relatively at ease while it happened; I didn't understand how they could be so calm. If even one of those cannon balls hit the ship, we would've been sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and yet they were all just laying there... Luffy specifically 'couldn't move because he was too hungry,' and by that point I was ready to have a panic attack.

In the end, all thanks to Nami's navigational skills, we ended up arriving at an island inhabited by an army of goats that were led by an old man named Zenny. Throughout the four to five days we had stayed there, we had learned that he had used to be a pirate-money-lender, marooned after being chased off with a great fortune. Then, the same marines had somehow managed to track us down, and we found out the sergeant chasing us was actually acting against his higher-ups' orders; he wanted to search out Zenny and steal this alleged fortune, but it was actually eaten by goats, so there wasn’t any fortune to steal.

It was an insane venture, ending happily with the sergeant being arrested for his crimes, and the rest of the marine ships being destroyed in the reef surrounding the island when they made the move to arrest the crew. Zenny decidedly became a pirate himself, and all of the Strawhat crew remained relatively unharmed throughout the ordeal.

Oh, and during our stay, Zenny taught me how to take inventory, as well as how to easily manage finances. It was a skill that I was genuinely excited to try out with the crew, and was hoping it would be something that I could actually be useful for, since I felt like I had nothing valuable to contribute to the group. So, that was pretty exciting.

There was one recent development that was a bit of a downside, though...

"You don't look much like a pirate, girl." His voice grated from my side, old and weathered over the long years of use. I turned to look at him, confused on how he could tell. Why did it seem like everyone was able to see it so clearly? Was I that out of place?

"Um... Well, I'm not really. Luffy is my soulmate." I decided to leave out the part that I was from another world entirely.

"Soulmate?" He blinked widely at me, as if I had just told him the most surprising information in all his life.

"Yeah." I nodded, and he furrowed his brow.

"Sad for you, girl. He doesn't seem like he cares much for your company," he gestured to the teen, who was stuffing his mouth full of fruit a few feet away, completely oblivious to our conversation about him. My stomach dropped.

"That's... not true." I weakly denied. Truth be told, Luffy had gone back to his old ways of running around and doing whatever he pleased without so much as looking in my general direction. Every time he ate, did chores, or even before he slept; it was like I had been forgotten about all over again, I was a lost thought in the back of his mind. I had been trying my best, ignoring the discomfort to keep the peace, but if Zenny had noticed then...

"Well, I'm sure you thought it through. You've got some guts to follow a ruffian like him."

Guts. Maybe that's what I needed. Was I not 'gutsy' enough for him? Was he ignoring me because I wasn't his type? That wasn’t possible, right?

Well, fine. Whatever.

I could ignore him too.

And so, I had been... Sorta'.

It was a lot harder than I initially thought; Even as we were chased by marines again two days later, helping Henzo find his long lost friends in Ape's Concert (The Rainbow Mist), and saved the town from a tyrannical governor who was actually the ex-captain who ransacked the town years ago.

I couldn't help but feel guilty every time he said something and I would ignore him, or avoid his general presence whenever he waltzed on deck.

What I wanted was for him to see that he was bothering me, that his aloof nature wasn’t cutting it, but it was so conflicting to feel the bond of our souls say otherwise.

In an effort to hide my ever growing discomfort as each day crawled by, I had begun to work on a project with Robin. It was more for Robin's interest than my own, considering I had already accepted my transition into this world as final; But, after seeing inside of Ape's concert and its many mysterious abilities of warping time and space, Robin decided she would to attempt to formulate a hypothesis on my random appearance from the sky. Assuming that Ape's Concert was some sort of space-time rift, it would be a borderline perfect explanation for how I had managed to make it here practically out of thin air. We added it to the top of the list of possibilities, and I tried my best to help her brainstorm ways in which this might have taken place, despite my very limited knowledge. What she found most helpful from me seemed to be information about my old home, even though I had never once spotted a rainbow mist in my life; other than actual rainbows.

When the research was done, and I was stricken with boredom, I had to practically beg Nami to let me help with the finances of the ship. It took me several days, and lots of pining, in order for her to finally agree. She may or may not have practically ripped my head off in the process, but in my eyes, it was an absolute win.

Now I was able to help her keep track of the berries, the stock of the ship, and even the logs of our recent adventures. We came up with some different ways to distribute the money to the crewmates for the appropriate errands and even allocate them some personal spending money, much to Nami's dislike, and I was feeling fairly fulfilled.

Well, that was until I went back out on deck and was reminded of how stagnant my relationship had become with my soulmate, again. Fulfillment was replaced with frustration, and the loop reset once more (just like the never-ending waters of Ape's concert, funnily enough).

The exhaustion of course wasn't helping; nightmares seemed more and more frequent, morphing between my old memories of a shitty childhood and current issues regarding my soulmate, and sleep was becoming less and less. I felt awful about it, but there were a few times I had snapped at Nami or Usopp whenever they accidentally (or purposefully) pressed the wrong buttons. At those times, all I could do was apologize before keeping my lips shut tight. The others were picking up on my tenderness, I could tell, but I didn't feel like dragging them further into the drama anymore than they already were. Luffy couldn't tell at all, naturally.

And that's where we're at right now, to end that rather large summary. We've since left Henzo and friends' company, and are back to sailing on the open seas. Everyone is chatting about the recent adventure, Luffy expressing how fun it was, while the rest of them question how he could possibly have enjoyed something so dangerous and appalling. Zoro is working out somewhere in the background as everyone begins to disperse.

I feel a light tap on my shoulder, something small bounces off and drops to the floor, crumbling to bits on the floorboards. Confused, I furrow my brow and hold out a hand. Another piece of deteriorating-something falls there, practically turning to ash in my hand. I look upwards, seeing something overshadow the Going Merry, and feel my face pale.

"Is that rain?" Zoro asks, and I can’t find it in myself to respond.

"No way, this ain't rain." Sanji disagrees.

"U-Um..." I whimper out, seeing the massive galleon begin to fall upon us, "It's definitely not rain."

The rest of the crew look at me, then they look up.

Silence.

Chaos ensues. The boat lands only a few hundred feet from us, but the broken pieces of it are still falling onto the ship. The waves rock the boat side to side, nearly capsizing us from the force of the collision with the water.

"Why are things falling out of the sky so much recently?!" Usopp points an accusatory finger at me, scrambling desperately at the boards beneath him while sliding around.

"How am I supposed to know?!" I shout back at him, clinging to Nami and the mast as I struggle to keep myself in the same spot.

"And I'm not a thing, Usopp! I'm a person!"

"Why the hell does that matter?!"

Another wave comes, and Usopp is sent flying into me. The argument is soon forgotten as we clutch each other with a conjoined mission of trying not to fall off the boat. We slam into other crewmates, like Chopper, as we go.

More jostling, more shouting, and more panicking. Nami is screaming to turn the rudder, Zoro is saying it won't work. Sanji is shouting for Luffy to protect the ship, and Chopper is laying flat on the ground. Robin has managed to plant herself to the boat using her devil fruit.

Usopp lets go and I'm sent sprawling on my back, sputtering and coughing as bits of debris fall on my face. Something large, but light, falls on top of me as I attempt to recover, and as I clutch it in retaliation I can feel it fall apart in my hands.

I open my eyes, see the empty eye sockets of a skeleton in front of my face, and feel my stomach drop. It hits me that a literal dead person is laying on top of me, before I begin to screech so loud that I was sure every pirate and marine could hear me within fifty miles. The emittance hurt my throat, but I didn’t care.

All of them look at me, but I'm too busy flailing and getting further tangled with the dead guy, trying to get him off and failing; still screaming.

"A skeleton dead guy!" Usopp hollers with me.

"Don't just stand there, get that disgusting thing off her!" Nami shouts at Usopp in anger, who stays frozen.

"I'm surrounded by death..." He sobs hopelessly, before Zoro rushes over and finally rips the corpse off of me. Picking me up like a sack of potatoes, he rushes over to a safe spot where we both can hang on. I whimper out a 'thank you,' still shivering at the feeling of somebody's bones in my hands, and he grunts.

When the continuous rain of broken-ship finally stops berating us, Nami has come over to hold me since I couldn't stop shaking and Zoro didn't know what to do about it; while he, Sanji and Luffy begin to question what the hell just happened. Usopp and Chopper are quivering and holding each other tightly. Robin is looking at the skeleton with interest. I wanted to puke.

"Alright, why did a ship just fall out of the sky?" Luffy asked, sounding a little flabbergasted.

"Captain error?" Sanji asked.

"Well, the sky is clear. Who knows?" Zoro added.

"I knew coming to the grand line was a mistake. It freaks me out! First, we travel over a ship graveyard, and now they're falling out of the sky complete with skeletons!" Usopp cried, eyes bloodshot and looking around wildly. Chopper's teeth were clenched so tight he couldn't even speak.

"Uh, Nami, can you make sure there's no more ships about to fall on us?" Luffy asks, completely ignoring me.

"No, you idiot! I'm busy doing what you should be doing right now!" She yells at him.

"How would I even know that anyways?!"

"Doing what now?" He asks, fuddled by her first statement and disregarding her own question.

"Comforting your soulmate!" She barks at him, and I pull away anxiously as her hold tightens.

"I-It's fine." I mutter, not bothering to look at anyone as I turn toward the bathroom.

"I-I need to go wash my hands, anyways... They're covered in bone... dust..." I shiver, before moving toward the door. I couldn't care less about Luffy, right now; not when I was imagining my own bones turning to dust like that mans' was.

---

"A sky island, really?" I ask Nami, who nods.

I had finally come out of the bathroom after needing to recuperate from the scare. Also, it took a while to get the bone out from under my nails. Ugh.

"Yep, look," She pointed at the log pose, which was indeed angled skyward.

"And Luffy found a map of the island on that ship as it was sinking." She handed me the old, weathered parchment, and I unfurled it carefully.

Skypeia. It was written in Script at the top of the map, the other, much smaller writing being illegible from usage and time. You could still make out the shape of the island, though, surrounded by sea monsters and covered in forests. There were outlines of cities and people within it. I curled it up again and handed it back to Nami, afraid of leaving such a relic out in the elements for too long.

"So... How do we get there?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"Dunno'. But right now we're salvaging the ship to look for more clues. Luffy, Sanji and Zoro are down there now." Her tone sounded impassive.

Pause.

Luffy was at the bottom of the ocean?

I looked at the yellow tubing trailing down into the dark water, and felt my stomach turn. But, he couldn't swim, right? So how was he...?

"Um... is he gonna' be okay in there?" I voiced my concern, the current focus on ignoring him forgotten as the soulmate bond resurfaced my worry over his well-being.

"He'll be fine," Usopp brushes off my nervous look with a wave of his hand, "I made those barrels with a special design; they'll never get busted open!"

He seemed confident, but I still wasn't. Who would save him down there if something bad happened? I guess he did have the other two, but still, how would they swim up from the bottom of the ocean? That sounded impossible.

"If... If you say so." I said, though inside I disagreed with the words; but what could I do at this point? He was already down there.

I looked back over the ship's edge, realizing I had forgotten about something else when I came out. I meant to ask about it originally, but I was caught up in the weird contraption that was newly discovered to be keeping my soulmate alive. This ignoring thing wasn’t going so well.

"By the way, who's that?" I pointed at the large galleon next to our own small ship, looking like there were many, many men on its bow.

"Oh, yeah. That's another crew trying to salvage the same ship that the boys are on right now; speaking of which, I'm gonna' kill those morons if their captain doesn't do it for us."

"Nami," I took a moment, contemplating what she meant, "their captain is also on the ship?"

"Duh. What else did you think I meant?" She responded in her usual know-it-all tone.

"Woah. Okay, guys. What the hell did I miss?" I ask, completely overwhelmed by all the information she was feeding me.

"Quite a bit." Robin laughed from behind us.

"Well, to start--" Usopp started an explanation, before he lost his footing due to a sudden, large vibration.

RUMBLE.

Tremors began to erupt from the depths below, and a large, dark shadow began to spread below the boats. It stretched so long that I couldn’t see where it ended. I took a step away from the edge, heart racing at the sight; it was getting closer.

"There's something else down there..." Nami says nervously.

"It's huge. Anybody just wanna' run?" Usopp adds, sounding timid.

It bursts from the water beside the galleon right after he speaks. Water slides off its enormous, gray back as the waves disturb the ships gently. It looks like a turtle, or a tortoise, but of a gigantic size. Its eye stares forward, skin covered in warts and bumps as the tubes that are connected to our ship dangle from its sharp-toothed maw.

"Does anybody else see the monster the size of an island in front of us?!" Nami exclaims, sounding frustrated at the lack of response from the rest of the crew as we all stare up quietly, almost awe-stricken. I hear Chopper swallow thickly, looking ready to pass out.

Still, nobody responds. We continue to gaze at the creature, and the men on the galleon are panicking over their captain being eaten. Inwardly, I feel the same way, but it hasn’t registered just yet.

"One tooth is the size of our boat... That's it, we're dead!" Nami continues, before Usopp is crying out next.

"There's no big monster, this is just one big, stupid dream that we're all having together for some reason!" He's tear stricken, before Chopper is joining in.

"A dream, right!" He confirms, and they all sigh in relief, seemingly appeased by the thought. I'm not, however; still staring at the yellow tubes that hang from the things' mouth.

"I-It's definitely not a dream." I say quietly, stepping toward Robin like she would be my new source of comfort or while the others lose their minds.

"Our boys just got eaten." She states, matter of fact, and the trio freeze. The confirmation of my own worries makes me want to step away from her instead.

"...along with that ship we were trying to salvage." She states without a single hint of emotion in her voice.

"How can you be so calm?!" Usopp is hysterical about the situation, not that I could blame him, but Robin was always like that.

The creature begins to grind the boat in its teeth, chewing loudly in a way that everyone can hear the wood of the ship in its mouth crunching. It's like it could hear what we were saying, taunting that it had just eaten members of the crew, and my soulmate, too.

Chopper begins running back and forth, freaking out in his normal-form. Usopp begins blaming Nami, and I am desperately searching for the bond between my soulmate and I to tell me if he's dead or not. Nothing felt different, but I couldn’t find him, either.

If he was alive, I wouldn’t ignore him ever again. The regret was like acid in my stomach, eating away at my insides.

Then, the monster is moving. It meanders forward, and Robin makes a point that if we stay connected, it will likely drag us to the bottom of the ocean, evident enough by the fact that it's pulling both the ship and the galleon as it goes. She's trying to devise a plan as everyone's agitation increases.

"Usopp!" Nami shouts.

"Yeah!" He shouts back, looking motivated.

"Cut the air hoses and get us out of here!" She lifts a determined fist, and I finally snap out of my stupor.

"Are you a devil?!" Usopp accuses.

"She's a devil!" Chopper affirms.

"W-Wait, no– Don't do that!" I yelped.

"You can't, what if he's still alive down there?!"

"Why the hell are you so worried about Luffy?! He doesn't even pay attention to you, anyways!" She shouts back, seeming desperate.

Okay, ouch. Valid, but ouch.

My feelings are only hurt for a second before another tug on the ship doesn't let me dwell on it for long. There wasn't any time to worry about that now, we needed to find a solution; we needed to rescue Luffy and the others.

Then, the cherry on top, the sky suddenly goes overcast. It takes only a moment, as if a bunch of rain clouds just swooped in and placed themselves above us. That isn't the case, either; the entire ocean has been plunged into darkness. Nami mutters how that's impossible, Chopper and Usopp stutter in fright.

A burst of water from the side of the ship, and a gurgling Luffy is sent flying up into the air and on deck. He groans when he makes contact, hat falling off in the process. A massive sack is attached to his back. It looks heavy.

I can't believe he's still alive, relief flowing through my veins like a hard to quit drug. Through the fog of all the hair-raising events that have taken place so far, he’s the light house that reminds me why I’m here.

"Luffy!" I rush over, crashing to my knees as he still doesn't respond to any of his friends' cries of his name. Screw ignoring him, this was more important.

"H-Hey," I shake him desperately, dread filling my heart as it drops at the pale shade of his face. He doesn’t respond.

"Get up, Luffy! Please don't be dead– wake up!"

The begging seems to work. His eyebrows twitch, before his eyes snap open and his skin begins to turn back to its usual tan. When we lock eyes, he grins, still laying flat on the deck.

"Oh, hey!" He blinks, "What's up?"

"A-Are you okay?" I scan all over his face, before giving a quick glance over the rest of his body. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, and I can feel the nerves inch away.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He laughs, completely unphased, and I breathe a sigh of relief. He sits up, cocking his head to the side as he waits for my answer.

"Well... you were eaten by a giant turtle." I put it simply, not knowing how else to say it.

"Wait, really?!" He looks at me with wide eyes after snatching his strawhat from the floor, hand covering it in disbelief.

"Um, yeah--" Before I can finish, his eyes zip to something behind and above us. I can hear the angered-screaming steadily grow closer before Luffy's eyes get serious. It's quick; he loops an arm around my waist and tugs me with him as he rolls out of the way of the incoming punch, which leaves a dent in the wood where we were just sitting. His arm leaves the space once the deed was done, goosebumps raising all over as he pulls away. My heart stutters, feeling giddy at the fact that he had basically saved me, before it was covered by confusion.

The monkey man, who I assumed was the captain of the other ship, beats his chest and yells something at Luffy.

"He's... a monkey?" I ask, bewildered.

"Yep," Luffy laughs, "Sure is. A monkey wearing makeup!"

"That's... weird."

"I know. He said it makes him look refined or somethin.'"

"No, I mean that he's a monkey. We don't have people like that in my world." I shake my head at him.

"Really? That's weird. Just wait 'till you see a fishman!" He giggles.

"U-Um... guys..." Nami's voice quivers, and it's just now that I've noticed everyone's silence. Everyone, and I mean everyone, even the turtle-monster, is looking at the sky.

"What's the matter... with..." The words die in my throat as I turn to look in the same direction.

They're huge.

Three massive shadows that tower high into the sky, taller than any skyscraper I've ever seen. The imposing figures even loom over the creature that was threatening to sink us, and I realize as I look at the wings on their backs that they are the reason the sun suddenly disappeared.

My blood feels cold. Everyone else feels the same as we gawk and choke on the air in our throats, the natural reactions of our body fighting each other as muscles tense and urge us to move, while our brain tells us to keep still.

Nobody moves. Nobody breathes. Sweat is dripping from our necks and faces.

Then, a hulking figure begins to move. Two more appear out of the mist behind it; all of them bearing spears. The first figure begins to raise its own, slowly, readily preparing for an attack.

This was it. We were going to die.

Then, both captains break free from the intensity of the moment, and Luffy nearly ruptures my eardrums with his outburst from beside me.

"Sea monsters!" The cry seems to initiate a wake-up call.

The boys scramble for the oars, and it only takes a second before they're aggressively rowing everyone away from the danger. The wood creaks and bellows as we paddle over the waves, skipping and leaping with every harsh row. But they don't stop, all desperately working in sync as we speed away from the darkness and toward the light.

Nobody says anything, there's only the sound of the whipping wind and the grunts of those who are pushing us to safety. I sit in the same spot, staring at the figures that remain, still staring at the spot even when we manage to get to somewhere brighter; and I don't bother to move even when we eventually lose sight of them.

This world was insane.

#luffy #luffy x reader #monkey d. luffy #one piece #one piece luffy #monkey d luffy

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sharkboywrites · 1 year ago

Note

Jamil viper with a male autistic reader who is very blunt and honest but is also a punk? Like moshpits and studded jackets and all that. Thankyou! I like your writing

Jamil And Jade With A Punk Autistic S/O

A/N: Hii sorry I feel like this took me forever to get to, sorry I've been busy. I was actually trying to finish this before my shift but I wasn't able to so now I'm writing at like 1 am. This didn't specify if it was platonic or romantic, so I went with romantic because that's usually how I write with twst, but it can be read as platonic

Male reader, autistic reader

Jamil Viper

Before he first talked to you, he saw the whole studded jackets and spikes as a major "stay away"

His whole thing revolves around keeping Kalim safe, and unfortunately everything about your style doesn't exactly scream safe

After he started talking to you, he started to get a little more comfortable

He appreciated your blunt and honest nature

It's kind of what he needed after dealing with personalities like Kalim's

That doesn't means that he suddenly trusts you though

Again he's basically a body guard, that's his whole job

It took a while of the two of you hanging out before he was completely comfortable around you

In all honesty you probably got closer to Kalim first before finally becoming closer to Jamil

If you ever dragged him to a concert and into a mosh pit then trust me he's be terrified

He ended up getting pushed around so much he got dizzy and probably a little bruised

From then on if he's joining you he'll stay farther out and somewhere much safer

It's not that he wants to make you feel bad it's just that it's all way too much for him

He's supportive from the sidelines

While he's very supportive of you, it's definitely not his thing

He'll go to your concerts and watch you have fun, he'll always be there once you're done

Jade Leech

While Jamil isn't much into your style, Jade most certainly is

The way you dress was the first thing that caught his attention and caused him to approach you

He compares you to all of the spikey sea creatures there are from his home

He finds your bluntness and honesty very entertaining, it's different from Azul and Floyd. which is who he spends most of his time with

By association, you probably hang out with Floyd too and he loves your style

Azul's a bit more nervous around you but gets used to you the more you hang out with the tweels

He's welcome to the idea of you bringing him to concerts and joining in a mosh pit

While it's obviously not his usual thing, Jade is always willing to try new things from land

And he does enjoy himself while there

He loved the energy and thought many of the people he met were very nice, although he is a little confused on how you don't get overstimulated

Speaking of which, he'll always have a little emergency bag on hand with headphones and fidgets in case you need them

While he's not going to be dressing in the punk style anytime soon, he does enjoy himself and likes seeing you have fun too

(You might even catch him listening to some of the music you showed him)

honestly i don't know that much about punk stuff, but i tried. I'm also not very good at writing for Jamil which I need to work on. Ty for reading and have a nice day

#sharkboywrites #male reader #twst #twst x male reader #twst x reader #mlm #mlm blog #twst fanfic #autistic reader #jamil x reader #jamil viper x reader #jamil x male reader #jade x reader #Jade leech x reader #jade x male reader

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flowerandblood · 2 years ago

Text

The White Flame (Part 8)

[modern! rockstar • Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader]

[warnings: sex content, smut, domination kink, angst, fluff]

[description: Aemond is the bassist of the band whose leader and vocalist is his brother. The whole band decides to use the marketing and design help of their guitarist's friend. The story is an interweaving of domination, desire and slowly burning feeling.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Bunny had to admit, reluctantly, that no man had ever affected her like Aemond. What he said to her when he fucked her drove her crazy with pleasure, and he knew it. Before she met him, she didn't know that such things could affect her. She had been in several relationships before, including one serious, that fell apart against her will.

She met Lucas when she was still in high school. She liked his confidence, his directness. He teased her constantly. He was tall boy with dark brown eyes and hair, and always wore hoodies.

He came from a difficult family, his father was an alcoholic. Bunny didn't know then that you can't help those who don't want help in the first place.

Lucas was constantly seeing and texting his ex-girlfriends while being with her in relationship. He even told her about it, and she endured it in silence, although the fear and humiliation that was growing in her did not let her sleep.

When she wasn't with him, he cared for her with all his being. After they became a couple, he cared less and less. Bunny noted that he liked to win, but he was tired of maintaining relationships.

Every time she tried to leave him, he would stop her, beg her not to go. He changed suddenly, he was the same as in the beginning. They then made love to each other, assuring about their feelings.

Lucas promised her he would go to therapy. He resigned after a few sessions, claiming it made no sense. He started dating his ex-girlfriends again behind her back. One day Bunny decided it was over.

Lucas came to her many times, called, begged. His sister even told her that she would regret her decision afterwards. Bunny just laughed ironically at that comment. She no longer had the strength for their self-absorbed, problematic family. No pleas helped, and she did not return to him.

What terrified her was that since she was with Aemond, Lucas had started texting her again. He first texted her the night they both changed their status to "in a relationship."

[Lucas]: Y/N, my congratulations! I hope you will be happy.

Bunny thought it was nice and wrote him back, thanking him for the words. It was a mistake.

[Lucas]: Long time no see. I miss you and your wisdom so much. I'm sorry we don't talk to each other anymore.

[Lucas]: I know you're still mad at me. I've changed, now I'm working and getting my head straight. I'd like us to be friends. You can always count on me.

Bunny stared at the screen, not knowing what to do. She didn't want him to be her friend because he had betrayed her trust many times and wasted all the chances she had given him. She didn't have the strength for him. She figured she didn't have to respond to that.

That didn't discourage him. He texted her once in a while on messenger, asking if he had offended her and if she was still mad at him. He sent her long messages describing what his life was like now and why she should give him another chance, if only as a friend.

However, after Bunny stayed with Aemond and his family, Lucas outdid himself. He had come to one of their concerts, apparently following the thread to the ball where Bunny worked and where he could find her.

Bunny was standing at the bar with Aemond, just ordering something after a show, when Lucas suddenly appeared in front of them, grinning widely. Bunny felt like she was about to pass out.

"Y/N!" He said happily, reaching out to her and hugging her. She hugged him lightly and released him immediately. "Great to see you! What a surprise." He said, combing his hair. Bunny knew it had nothing to do with surprise. She glanced uneasily at Aemond, who was measuring Lucas with a deadly dark stare. His face was stone.

"Aemond, this is…Lucas. My friend." She said emphatically, looking at Lucas meaningfully. He laughed at her words.

"You don't have to be so cold. I already got my lesson.” He said, extending his hand to Aemond. He looked at him dispassionately and took a sip from his glass. Only seeing Bunny's gaze, he extended his hand and they shook awkwardly.

"You're a lucky man. Watch over her and take care of her." Lucas added, the smile never left his face. Aemond's jaw tightened in irritation at his words. Bunny cut in quickly.

"Lucas, please." She whispered, looking pleadingly at him. Lucas looked at her surprised.

"I'm not saying anything bad. I wish you only happiness." He grunted, shrugging.

"Thank you, but I don't want your wishes, Lucas. I'm begging you, it's enough." She said impatiently and horrified that Aemond was looking at him as if he wanted to kill him. Lucas blinked, clearly hurt by her words. He wanted to say something, but Aemond wouldn't let him.

"Thank you for your wishes, Lucas. Now get the fuck out, because I'm running out of patience." He said low, looking at him intensely. Lucas laughed under his breath and looked at Bunny.

"Is he hurting you? You can tell me if…” He didn't finish before Aemond started walking towards him, Bunny stopped him quickly and gave him a pleading look.

"No, Aemond! No!" Aemond looked at her, his lips pressed into a thin line. Bunny looked at Lucas, then back at him. She grabbed his hand. "Let's get out of here." She said softly.

Aemond exhaled softly, downed the rest of his drink in one gulp, and the two of them headed for the room where all the group's belongings were. Aemond glared at her as soon as they entered.

"Who the fuck was that?" He hissed through clenched teeth. Bunny looked at him pleadingly, sighing heavily.

“I… We used to be together, but I broke up with him two years ago.” She said quietly, Aemond turned his head away, furious, pacing the room nervously. "You have your past and I have mine. He's been pestering me with messages ever since we've been together, he's probably jealous…"

"What?" He cut her off, coming closer to her, looking at her incredulously. "Your ex has been texting you for weeks and you haven't told me anything?"

Bunny pursed her lips, feeling her heart pounding at how bad it sounded. She swallowed hard as she saw his furious expression.

“I didn't text him back, hoping he'd just stop. I didn't want to upset you. I'm sorry!" She said as she saw him heading towards the door and wanting to leave. She stopped him and he gave her an angry look.

"Please, don't go! Tell me everything you want, everything you think, but don't leave." She said quickly, breathing uneasily, looking at him desperately. Aemond pursed his lips.

"I'm telling you everything. I am not hiding anything from you, although I could. I could assume all this would upset you and you don't need to know everything. You want it? I'm supposed to decide for you what you should hear about?" He asked coldly. Bunny felt tears well up in her eyes, but she held them back. She felt herself shaking all over.

"No." She said softly. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to talk about it because I don't want to think about him. Deep down I despise him. I didn't think of it that way." She said, looking pleadingly at him.

"If you want, I'll show you everything. Everything he wrote to me." She said as she unlocked her phone and launched the app.

"I don't feel like it anymore. Put on your jacket, I'll drive you home." He said flatly and left, slamming the door behind him. Bunny pursed her lips and cried softly. She stayed inside until she calmed down.

She put on her jacket with trembling hands and left, heading down the hall toward the exit. She saw that Lucas had noticed her and was walking towards her. She stopped, wanting to talk to him without witnesses.

"Did you cry? Did he do something to you?" He asked her, wanting to touch her shoulder, but she pulled away, enraged.

"I cry because of you. I asked you to leave me alone. Is that so hard to understand?" She asked reproachfully, her nose slightly clogged from crying. Lucas pursed his lips.

"Look how he treats you. As if you were his thing. You can talk and meet whoever you want." He said impatiently. Bunny looked at him angrily.

"You don't know anything about him. Don't talk about him." She said feeling a tightness in her chest.

"He's playing in a band. He'll hit a few chicks on every tour. Why are you deluding yourself?" He asked, stepping closer to her, but she stepped back and laughed.

“You don't play in a band and you got a few chicks once in a while anyway. Are you going to ask me why I was deluding myself?" She asked amused, not having the strength to cry anymore. She shook her head in disbelief.

"You asked me if we would be friends. We won't be. Stay away from me or Aemond. I've tried to be polite to you, but as usual, you don't get the refusal. Here you go, now five minutes for you where you can make yourself a victim as usual." She blurted out through pursed lips, breathing heavily.

Lucas looked down at her with a serious expression.

"I remember you differently. But do what you want. Some people like being someone's pushover." He said and turned around. Bunny started crying again.

She thought Aemond was still waiting for her, so she moved quickly, wiping her eyes. She stood dumbstruck when she saw Aemond leaning against the wall just across the aisle, smoking a cigarette.

She swallowed hard and lowered her head, realizing he had heard everything. He exhaled smoke through his nose.

"Do you want me to beat his stupid face?" He asked, taking another drag on his cigarette. Bunny shook her head slowly.

Aemond looked at her and was silent for a moment. He held out his hand to her and she literally ran over to him, hugging him tightly. He had one arm around her, stroking her hair.

"I'm so sorry. Don't be angry." She said softly as she snuggled into his chest. His scent filled her lungs pleasantly. She felt herself shaking in despair.

"I'm sorry too." He said exhaling smoke through his nose, tilting his head back. "I don't know if I was angry with you or that you had someone before me." He added finally.

Bunny looked at him in surprise. She took his free hand in hers and pressed it to her cheek. Aemond looked at her gently.

"I am only yours." She whispered softly, kissing his hand reverently. Aemond shivered.

"Only mine?" He asked softly, as if he wanted to know if he had heard correctly. His thumb brushed over her lips and she nodded. Aemond leaned toward her.

“Good. Because I'm not going to share you with anyone." He purred, grabbing the nape of her neck and sliding his tongue into her mouth, kissing her hungrily and intensely.

Bunny moaned softly, her lips parting, allowing him to caress her, responding to his every kiss. She clenched her hands on his Tshirt, pressing her lips to him tighter, they kissed chaotically and passionately. Aemond broke away from her with a wet sound, looking down at her.

"Do you want to go to my car?" He asked low, looking at her expectantly. Bunny's lips parted and she blushed in surprise at this ambiguous proposition.

She glanced quickly to the side and saw that his car was parked in a shady little alley, unlit. Virtually no one passed by. She looked at him again and nodded.

They both crossed the street, holding hands. Aemond opened the back door and sat in the seat, drawing her with him. He slammed the door and, without waiting for anything, took off her sweater. Bunny squealed in surprise and tried to cover herself with her hands, but Aemond wouldn't let her.

"No. No covering up. It's all mine, remember?" He asked feisty, running the tip of his tongue over her nipple. Bunny moaned softly, tilting her head back at the sensation. Aemond smirked and pulled her buttocks closer to him, now pressing against his swollen cock in his pants.

"Look what you're doing to me, babygirl." He murmured, his hands stroking her back, his mouth sucking and licking her breast. Bunny moaned softly, rubbing against him slowly. He smiled in satisfaction at the feeling.

“I could fuck you all night if you wanted to. I wouldn't pull my cock out of you." He said low, running his tongue along her neck, moving towards her ear. He felt her shiver at his words. "Would you like that?"

Bunny's lips parted slightly, her hands tightening on his jacket and hair, her hips rubbing steadily against him, seeking any source of pressure. She swallowed silently, feeling her heart pounding as her wetness trickled down her thighs. Her lower lip trembled.

“...Yes” She whispered, embarrassed. He grabbed her hair gently and kissed her hungrily. His fingers moved aside the material of her panties, massaging her clit, sinking in the juices flowing from her. Bunny moaned loudly, feeling his touch where she needed it, her hips matching the movement of his hand.

"Tell me what you want, little one." He purred, feeling her desperation. He felt like his cock would explode if he didn't enter her soon. He was full of admiration for the way she affected him, how susceptible she was to what he was doing to her. Bunny gasped softly at his words, all red.

"I…Oh, Aemond" She moaned softly, her hands reaching for his belt and starting to undo it. He grabbed her wrists, not letting her.

"M-m. Ask nicely and you'll get what you want." He said low and menacing as he continued to massage her with his other hand. Her wet, hot cunt throbbed all over under his fingers. Bunny pressed her forehead against his, feeling she was on edge. She opened her mouth in despair, unable to focus anymore.

"Please, put it in me." She whispered and moaned loudly as she felt his finger slid inside her, moving in and out in a fast, intense rhythm, rubbing against the places that gave her the greatest pleasure.

"Just like that? Is that what you want?" He asked teasingly, breathing quickly, smiling at the corner of his mouth. Bunny moaned in despair, knowing he was teasing her.

"No, please, fuck me, fuck me with your cock" She sobbed, defeated, red with embarrassment, on the verge of orgasm. Aemond groaned low, looking at her with satisfaction.

He took his finger out of her and quickly unzipped his pants, sliding them down just enough to reveal his swollen, lust-throbbing cock for her.

"Here you go. All for you.” He grunted, looking at her expectantly. He moaned into her mouth as she kissed him greedily, his hands helping her push away the fabric of her panties as she began to push against him.

They both moaned loudly as she lowered herself onto him, all the way to the top, filling herself completely. She rested her hands on his shoulders, bouncing up and down on him, seeking her fulfillment.

Aemond's hands tightened on her hips, forcing her to pick up speed, her buttocks hitting his thighs with great force. They both moaned and gasped with pleasure, feeling that their every move pressed and rubbed where they wanted it. Her breasts rose and fell with a wet sound, Aemond parting her lips with his thumb, looking at her with lust.

"Tell me who this sweet, tight pussy belongs to, babygirl." He panted, thrusting in her hard, listening to her sweet moans that were music to his ears. He felt her clinging on him. She was so tight he knew it was only a few more thrusts and she would come. His hands trailed down her body to his swollen cock relentlessly.

"To you, God, Aemond, I'm only yours" She mumbled in pleasure, riding him with all her might, rubbing herself in a place that sent shivers down her spine.

"Do you like it when I take what's mine? Hm?” He asked, panting heavily, his thrusts getting sharper, uncontrollable and chaotic.

"Yes, yes, it feels so good…Ah!" She moaned loudly, throwing her head back, feeling a wonderful orgasm run through her body, heat spreading through her muscles, giving her instant relief.

Aemond moaned loudly, pressing his face between her breasts and coming hard inside her. They were both panting and writhing under each other in pleasure as his semen spilled over her. Aemond pulled her close, kissing her neck and hair tenderly. His hand ran down her bare back. Bunny shivered hearing his voice.

"Don't be fooled that I'll let you sleep tonight."

_____

If you want to be tagged, leave a comment below. ♥

@zenka69 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @astral-blossoms @echos-muses @wintrr13 @writingaboutlove1998

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year ago

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Tw// teen pregnancy scare, light mention of sex

I just need to let this out i feel so alone.

Uhm. I'm horrified. For context, I'm in high school. I have an older boyfriend and we had intercourse twice recently. He was my first. We didn't use protection, he pulled out. I'm not sure why I agreed. It's so stupid. I guess I'm just young and naive. I've been hypesexual my entire life and just needed to feel something.

I'm supposed to get my period tomorrow though it tends to be one or two days late at times. I've been sick, like a cough/virus which has nothing to do anything but now i can't figure out if my symptoms are overlapping with..early pregnancy. Because generally when i cough a lot my gag activates, I've had that problem since covid and the pandemic. So if I throw up i have no proof of what it is. I'm also supposed to be in PMS which would explain the symptoms AGAIN and my paranoia as I get really really emotional at this time. So now i have to suffer and wait out the next few days.... My bf knows and I feel bad for stressing him out. I can't tell anybody else i know irl. Obviously because I'm still at school and plus most people don't even know I'm in a relationship, including my parents. My parents think i haven't even had my first kiss and the thought of the possibility of having to break THESE news to them is terrifying.

(slight tw for a mental breakdown here)

When i was looking at early symptoms i was home alone and i had the worst breakdown I've had in over a year or ever actually. I was screaming inside my room. I stared punching my gut hoping that "it'll" just... go away somehow. I can't have this child. I do not want to. Not now. Not ever, actually. I always said I'll never have kids for so many reasons including generational trauma and my own mental issues. I feel kind of sick today but i felt even more yesterday because the night before that I was at a concert and got really tired, and slightly drunk. So many possibilities and I'm paranoid over the worst one. I feel so fucking stupid. If i find out it's true I don't think I could take it. I'd break apart completely.

hello this is the pregnancy person again. I would like to update. I realized that i cloud be having an anti-placebo (or nocebo) effect from the fear of pregnancy. Because as soon as i read that i felt better physically. And the more i read about the symptoms yesterday the more i "noticed them". Now I'm just hungry because i didn't eat lunch yet. No nausea. And then another thing happened.. I saw blood on my underwear. And now i have no idea if my period is early or if that's early pregnancy bleeding… Of fuck me here we go again. I'm losing my mind and patience…

hey, pregnancy anon here. Got my period. We're good.

Hi anon,

Please know that your concerns about what happened are absolutely valid. It's common to become very health conscious and worry when you rely on the pullout method, especially when you begin to notice signs that you may be pregnant (although it sounds like you aren't, fortunately). This experience highlights the importance of having some kind of protection or contraception during sex, at least so you can have some peace of mind.

I don't know how long you've been with this boyfriend or if either of you have been tested, but because you've had unprotected sex with him, I strongly recommend looking into getting tested for STIs. Even if you aren't showing any symptoms, some STIs can lie dormant in your system and you can also become a carrier (meaning you carry the STI and can transmit it but don't show symptoms). I know you said you're in high school so if you're 18 you may be able to book an appointment with an OBGYN yourself. If you're under 18, your school nurse may have some recommendations.

If anyone else has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks

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daandova · 11 months ago

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[ ... ] ─── i do it so it FEELS LIKE HELL - i do it so i feel real.

i am only thirty and like the cat i have nine times to die. ─── [ ... ]

O MY ENEMY DO I TERRIFY ??

#DAANDOV. ──────── a writing blog for an ORIGINAL CHARACTER for the LAST DRAGONBORN in 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚'𝐬 𝐞𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐕 𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐦. [ ... ] focusing on motifs of :: the tragic hero , being nothing but a vessel for prophecy , gods leaving husks behind of their champions , coming out the other side of the hero's journey worse off , dogged loyalty , getting chewed up and spit out , feminine rage , how much more of myself do i have to give? , being doomed by the narrative [ ... ] crossovers are preferred & no knowledge of elder scrolls is needed to interact ── blog established october 2023 , character est in 2018 , loved by ouija , 21+ , she/her , rules below the cut

affiliated with @recitedemise

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⸻⸻

( ₁. ) character timeline . ( ₂. ) pre-est connections . ( ₃. ) spotify . ( ₄. ) aesthetics . ( ₅. ) pintrest . ( ₆. ) carrd .

001. general ⸻ this blog is a writing blog for my oc VALVARI ALANTAR who i've built over the past five years. intrinsically tied to the legacy of the dragonborn mod, she is a canon divergent last dragonborn. i use caps from baldurs gate just because of it's character creation.

SPARK NOTES :: valvari's adoptive fathers own museums across the world. she's grown up first learning deep history, and being more book focused, but as she began showing a bit of a temper and anger streak, she was sent with one of her father's to start adventuring to begin finding artifacts and curios that are gathered to store in the museums. just recently, they've opened a new museum and val is going to start adventuring on her own in order to help fill it.

002. following ⸻ this is a highly selective blog , i am keeping my circle very small right now and will only interact with those who make concerted efforts to plot with me. i practice mains, i'm not interested in exclusives. i do not follow writers under the age of 21. if you're ever softblocked and you still want to interact, please feel free to follow again, it's never that serious i promise.

i softblock liberally if we have not interacted, i'm not interested in being a number to people. i don't expect to be responding to our threads every day, i don't expect constant ooc talk, we all have lives and other muse interests. what i expect is interaction with other posts that show you're interested in my muse. a like or a reply to a post goes a long way. when time goes on and you're radio silent but still active on dash, i'll likely just softblock just so i'm not feeling unwanted. i promise it's not a big deal, it's just about curating my dash to active mutuals.

003. formatting ⸻ i don’t care about formatting or icon usage on your end , you do what makes you most comfortable. i personally use normal text with some formatting, and icons only show up in writing if i feel like it. i'll use them if i'm feeling it, otherwise there may be threads or posts where they're absent because i couldn't be bothered to add them. if there's something about my formatting that doesn't work for you let me know and i can adjust.

004. shipping ⸻ i love shipping and am always open to discussing it. val requires chemistry to ship with and i require being comfortable together ooc. it's not going to be a focus on this blog and i'll never be the first to ask in order to keep people from feeling uncomfortable. if you are interested, let me know, i won't consider it forceshipping, but be aware i may say no.

please note :: val is sex positive and a bit blunt, so she may flirt if she thinks your muse is attractive but i'm ALWAYS okay with her being shut down. i promise it's never that serious, and i'm not trying to beg for a ship. she will also drop the topic the moment someone isn't interested.

005. plotting ⸻ i rely heavily on plotting and interacting ooc and my attention will be focused around those of my followers who i have a plot for and rapport with. it isn’t necessary to have one off the bat , but if interactions are going to go anywhere , plotting is required. i typically prioritize these threads/muses and if we go a period of time without interacting or you showing interest in my muse/blog at all, i'll softblock so i can keep my dash to the people i'm actively writing/chatting with.

006. interacting ⸻ i will like starter call , but do not wait to see one on my blog because it won’t happen often. instead , please send memes. they can always become threads. and they are great ways to explore our muses while we aren't working on our active threads. send them and send them often, i'm never agitated if you're sending multiple. i'll delete any i don't have muse for but i'll always answer some.

007. triggers ⸻ there will be adult content present on this blog including , but not limited to :: sexual content , potential mention of self harm , violence , adult language. if you are uncomfortable with any of these please tell me and i will avoid them in our threads. i don't have any specific triggers, however i will always tag potentially triggering things as : trigger tw

008. ooc ⸻ hey i’m ouija , 30+ i’m just a nerd. I have a full time job and a home to maintain so my activity will vary. icon border by ariapsds and icon psd by jaynedits

i've grown comfortable existing on the edges of fandoms and just fitting val within them, thus i'm very crossover friendly. rape, incest, pedophilia, hate / bigotry (ie: racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc) is not accepted on this blog. i may keep myself distant from callouts or personal drama that appears (mainly just because i don't like calling attention to myself), however i'm not against them when it comes to keeping the dash safe and letting people know about problematic people.

#pinned.

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as-frightened-as-you · 1 year ago

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some personal stuff I just needed to vent out. tw death and suicide.

I'm trying so hard to pretend that I'm okay, but the truth is no I'm not. I'm frantically cleaning the house, then I just lose a day doing I have no idea what, then I'm working for fourteen hours straight, then I'm cleaning the house again because it feels impossible to stop. I sleep at night, kind of. For fifteen hours or for five, no in-between. Yeah, not healthy.

My father died two months ago. We weren't close for a long fucking time; he had a drinking problem, and I cannot for a life of me keep up social connections when I'm not living with a person under the same roof. I don't think we even talked since my birthday, and that was fucking September.

I know he loved me, I don't have a problem with that. We were really close when I was little. Then my little brother grew up a bit, and I became a teenager, and I don't think he actually knew what to do with a depressed teenage girl. It was easier for him to get closer to my brother. I'm pretty sure I forgave him for that. Both of them. I get why that happened. (It does still feel unfair though)

And then his health went south, and then he was drinking, and drinking, and drinking. At first it was to keep the pain away, or that's what he said. Then it just became a thing. He was already drunk at one pm and he was still drunk in the evening and that was going on for weeks without him getting sober.

He did drink before, but not that much and not that often. Sometimes he was just really talkative, sometimes he became angry. I don't remember much of that from my childhood; I only know that I'm terrified of drunk people. I had a panic attack once when I heard some drunk students outside my place; I was behind a locked door, and still I was having a panic attack, just because they were there, and I was alone and scared. I almost had a breakdown when at some concert a guy on stage tried to be cool and poured some champagne on the crowd and I couldn't get rid of the smell of alcohol on my skin, I could still smell it days after the concert. I can't fully trust people if I see them drinking, even if it's one bottle of beer and I've known that person for years, I just can't fully trust them again if I once saw them drinking. Sometimes I think that maybe my father did something not good when I was a child and my memory just buried it. Because there has to be a reason for this phobia, right? I'm not sure if I want to know. I'll never know now, I guess.

When he started to drink all the time, he was mostly depressed and sometimes angry. He said we didn't love him and respect him. He said to me once that one day I might come home from school and find his body hanging from the chandelier. I wasn't in a good place myself then; I just thought "well, we'll see who will be the first one to hang". It was like seven years ago. I can still hear his voice saying that in my head.

He wasn't someone who would go to therapy; he just kept drinking. I went to university, I finished it, I came back home, and he kept drinking. Mom left him. He lived alone for a year.

He died of cirrhosis. We didn't even know until a week later when one of his friends called my mom and said that he hadn't heard from dad for a while. We were just in time to get him a proper burial — a couple of days later he would be buried as an unclaimed body. He died in his house, he managed to call an ambulance, he had all the documents and his phone on him — nobody just bothered to call us, or his sisters, or anyone at all.

It made me so angry. It still does, but then I was just angry, nothing else — at the police, at the guys at the morgue, at those funeral agents, and, more than anything, at him. The fact that it was alcohol of all things that killed him. He had a lot of health issues, he had a chronic illness that was trying to kill him since his twenties, he was suicidal — and he died of a fucking cirrhosis. I wasn't even grieving at that point, I was just so so angry.

The thing is, he drank so much that at some point I had to admit that the Dad I loved and admired so much as a child is already gone. We used to talk for hours about everything, he used to take me fishing and skiing and swimming and whatnot, he used to be there for me, and at some point all of that was gone. Alcohol killed it. Killed him long before killing his body. I really thought I had accepted it and mourned it. I really thought I was kinda okay with his death since we didn't even properly talk for years.

I really am not even close to being okay.

I live at his place now — or rather at the place that was his for this last year and that was my childhood home. I was going through his things these past few days. I'm a fucking mess.

It's not a place of an alcoholic — it's not in ruins or anything. It's a place of a very lonely and very depressed person who had nothing but the past to hold onto. The photos from my parents' wedding are there, and little handmade presents that my brother and I made for him when we were little.

And it's not that I feel guilty for losing connection with him — he was drinking hard during this year and he wasn't going to do anything about it. We tried to get him to get some help, he never did. It's just... so sad. He was brilliant, he was so loving and loved. And I can't help but think about how he felt during this year. And how he felt before he died.

I was so angry at the funeral. I thought — maybe he was so drunk he didn't see that coming. Maybe he was so drunk he didn't notice his skin turning yellow until it was too late.

But the thing is, he wasn't drunk. He was going to paint the wall, the paint and brushes were still there when we came. There was a cup of coffee he made for himself, and a pot of porridge. It's not something a drunk person would do.

A part of me was so relieved it wasn't a suicide — it would haunt me for the rest of my life, I would probably bury myself in guilt for not doing anything after he told he was thinking of killing himself. What could I do, I was a fucking teenager with a self-harm problem, but still. I was relieved he didn't actually kill himself. But I can't help but think — maybe he didn't call for help before it was too late because he didn't want to. Maybe it was a conscious choice. Maybe he wasn't ready to kill himself directly, but he accepted death when it came to him.

I don't think this thought makes me feel better. It really doesn't, actually. But I guess I'll never know what happened that day — I'm not even sure I want to know.

A part of me was hoping to find something in his things — a note or something like that. Probably not a diary, he never had one, but something. An old letter to the future. Anything, really.

All I got was lots and lots of sigarettes, some mild sedatives and anti-stress pills, and all those things from the past all around the place. He didn't really change anything here since mom left. Maybe he was hoping she would come back. She never did. It was getting to the point when he almost punched her.

I have no idea why I'm writing all this. I guess I just needed to vent it out, and it's somehow easier to write it in English rather than in my native language. Also I have a problem talking to friends about such things, and my mom seems to try not to think about him at all. Can't blame her, really.

If you're still here for some reason, thank you for reading all this. It's really not the content that was supposed to be in this blog. Sorry.

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 1 year ago

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From a pr perspective, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. A big group of swifties (that are very pro Matty and anti Joe) now think based on Easter eggs and such, that Taylor and Joe broke up last year. Iirc, probably summer 2022. To them Midnights now reads as a breakup album and they held off from announcing the break up until after tour started so then she can publicly be seen with Matty who she started dating around Fall 2022. All this to say that Matty has been there for her and actually wants to marry her (based on the new song) and Joe is very much villian number 1 (their words not mine). But as an outsider looking at that timeline, that means she was dating him while he did the nazi salute, the comments towards ice spice, and the abusive to black women porn comments. If I go by that timeline, then it seems like the ice spice collab looks very suspicious. And it seems like Taylor is very much okay with having a racist bf her fans are very split on liking.

Oh anon - you've started this 'from a PR perspective' - but none of this is about PR - it's all about fan perceptions and fan storytelling. I find the way that fans distance themselves from what they're actually discussing and feeling by pretending they're taking about PR, really noticeable - and it's not something that I'm prepared to go along with. But I will share some thoughts about various points you raise.

I find the the phrase 'it seems like Taylor is very much okay with having a racist bf her fans are very split on liking' terrifying. Because it really does suggest that Taylor should care about her fans views of her boyfriend - and that is really, really fucked up. I think it's very emotionally healthy of Taylor not to give a fuck what any of her fans think about he boyfriend. It's also reasonably obvious that Taylor is very much ok with Matty Healy being her bf and so she's OK with Matty Healy being the person he is.

As for the fan theory that they've been together a while - I hadn't seen it, but I also don't think it's very important or very likely to be true. When Joe and Taylor broke up, I wondered if it had been planned for a long time, because she had that weekend off and it seemed the album so reflected what she said. But she wouldn't be the first artist to write a break up album before she'd broken up. The idea that she must have broken up before recording Midnights suggests that she needs to have resolved aspects of her life before writing about them. Given that she embodied the song bejewelled at the London concert which definitely happened after the album came out - I think it's pretty obvious that with Midnights she was writing about unresolved issues in her life, and they continued to play out over the next year.

Which is all to say that people can tell whatever stories they like, but I have very little time for questions that are basically 'If this completely fictional scenario is true, how should we judge all involved'.

#I find the idea that there's any different in moral culpablity from Taylor whether she started dating him in January or April #very odd #But then I find the idea that there's any moral culpability for dating Matty Healy #very hard to process #In my life #a woman I know having sex with a douchebag man #has just been a sign that it's a day ending in 'y'#I'm super curious if things have changed for those young people they have these days #or if people are just holding Taylor to very different standards than those that operate in their life

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tuiyla · 2 years ago

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Something that I still find insane with Glee is just how much professional content was put out about it, both during and after the show. They had the actual show, the concert tours, the (3D) concert movie, the reality show specifically to get cast on Glee (two seasons of it which is one more than most shows even get now), the billboard charting songs/albums, the cast podcasts, and the recent fucked up docuseries. Not to mention the insane number of "Glee Audition" YouTube videos and other fan-created content like SimGM, fanfics, covers, GIFs, etc. I genuinely cannot think of a single other show that has ever had that much going on around it. No matter where you looked or what kind of content, you'd likely run into something Glee related. I first learned about the show because my classmates would singing "Don't Stop Believing" on our bus all the time, like the entire bus would sing the entire song. No one and no where was safe.

Also books and other merchandise iirc?

It's truly an insane scale. I think there were similar properties, but not at the same intersection of teen media and music as Glee was. Music really elevated it above other TV shows, in terms of revenue as well, I'm sure. I mean, what other show I could do as something as unhinged for as the singing database? They just produced so much content, and to think that the cast had to not only learn their lines and do the acting but record their songs AND learn choreography and do talk show appearances and other promos on top of that is already wild. Add to that the tours and musical appearances? It gets to a level that I'm pretty sure should have been illegal. Like, for real, the Glee cast was so infamous for being crazy overworked that it shouldn't have been allowed. Hard enough to film 22 episodes a year and that's without all the extra stuff.

And the fan stuff! That can be a tremendous amount even if the property itself isn't as accomplished as Glee was but you're right, that was - and continues to be! - impressive too. Again the scale of it, organized events and forums and popular videos like SimGM. You really couldn't go anywhere without Glee content.

I think I've mentioned this once or twice before, but I heard Landslide for the first time through the GCV. I didn't search for the Glee version; I had just read The Perks of Being a Wallflower and I wanted to know what the tunnel song sounded like. This is September of 2012 btw. So I typed landslide into youtube and the very first result, probably the second and even third, was the Glee version. So that was the one I listened to for years, exclusively, even though I had zero to do with Glee at that point. I'm sure there were other GCVs that sneaked into my life and certainly the mainstream, too. The show itself had a stranglehold on pop culture but the music was a whole new level. Glee was a machine producing so much content and I can only assume making an obscene amount of money. Idk what the cast got paid but I'd be willing to bet it wasn't enough.

Through godawful documentaries or in more positive ways but Glee's still part of the public consciousness because that kind of omnipresence doesn't just go away. Fascinating. Kinda terrifying. But very very interesting.

#nonglee asks #glee fandom #fallingoffasurfboard #like it's hard to think of today but just look at how glee's still around and it gives you and idea of what it was like #they outsold artists with covers of their songs!!! they had power over the charts!!

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kanamelonz · 5 months ago

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1. Zodiac sign

Gemini

2. Sexual orientation

Pansexual

3. Relationship status

Taken

4. Someone you miss

My besties and my bf

5. Person who’s arms you’d like to be in

6. What you find attractive in Men/Women?

Intelligence (causs I'm stoopid :P)

7. How tall are you?

5'1

8. What you love about yourself?

My hands and my eyes :)

9. What you’re doing tomorrow?

No idea

10. What are your future plans?

Nurse/Florist/Aquarium worker (or dead idk)

11. Your last night out in detail

I don't go out 🔥🔥

12. Your favourite book

Any good murder mystery

13. All of pets you’ve ever had

Hamster and 2 guinea pigs

(Also a number of caterpillars and snails that lasted a few days)

14. Something that changed your life

Living with my mother ;~;

15. Do you remember your last dream?

My boyfriend beat the shit out of a bunch of people and I just watched

16. What your last text message says?

"Im the alpha sigma male (real)"

17. Do you respect your government and the way your country is run?

No comment

18. Where you would like to live?

The Netherlands bcs of family and its a super pretty place :)

19. Your favourite flavour of ice cream

The ones with the caramel or marshmallow bits in :D

20. Last thing you ate

Potato wedges

21. Which swear word do you use the most?

"Fuck" but in the saddest voice possible

22. Your plans for summer

Spend every day grinding on pjsk

23. Any upcoming concerts?

I really wanna go to the Mitski concert in August and the Trioligy tour :'D

24. Something that you’re proud of

My taste in friends<3

25. Do you still talk to your first crush?

NO HES A DICKHEAD HELP

26. What language do you want to learn?

Dutch so there's no language barrier between me and half of my family

27. Where you have lived before?

Always stayed in the same place 🧍‍♀️

28. Eye color

Blue

29. Favourite style of clothing

I really like cutecore and fairycore :)

30. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Either 15 minutes or 3 hours. No in-between.

31. Where did you go today?

A café that was very calming

32. Where are you right now?

Bed 🔥🔥

33. How many countries have you visited?

34. Something old

My childhood plushie

35. Something new

Headphones I got for Christmas

36. Something inherited

A brooch from my great great grandmother

37. Is death more scary than life?

Both are equally as terrifying

38. Experience you’ll never forget

Dislocating my knee in the middle of lunch

39. What’s your favorite part about today so far?

Calling my bf ^^

40. Who is your hero?

My year 6 teacher

41. Are you happy with where you live?

Yes. :D

42. Do you like your handwriting?

Sometimes I love it and other times I hate it

43. What do you wear to bed?

Either oversized t-shirts or t-shirt and shorts

44. Tea or coffee?

Tea because I am a true brit.

45. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

46. Are you excited for anything?

Not really

47. How late did you stay up last night and why?

2am because I was on c.ai 💀

48. What’s your ringtone?

I don't know :'D

49. Did you have a dream last night?

50. What keeps you going each day?

My friends and that's literally it-

51 questions

1. Zodiac sign 2. Sexual orientation 3. Relationship status 4. Someone you miss 5. Person who’s arms you’d like to be in 6. What you find attractive in Men/Women? 7. How tall are you? 8. What you love about yourself? 9. What you’re doing tomorrow? 10. What are your future plans? 11. Your last night out in detail 12. Your favourite book 13. All of pets you’ve ever had 14. Something that changed your life 15. Do you remember your last dream? 16. What your last text message says? 17. Do you respect your government and the way your country is run? 18. Where you would like to live? 19. Your favourite flavour of ice cream 20. Last thing you ate 21. Which swear word do you use the most? 22. Your plans for summer 23. Any upcoming concerts? 24. Something that you’re proud of 25. Do you still talk to your first crush? 26. What language do you want to learn? 27. Where you have lived before? 28. Eye color 29. Favourite style of clothing 30. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 31. Where did you go today? 32. Where are you right now? 33. How many countries have you visited? 34. Something old 35. Something new 36. Something inherited 37. Is death more scary than life? 38. Experience you’ll never forget 39. What’s your favorite part about today so far? 40. Who is your hero? 41. Are you happy with where you live? 42. Do you like your handwriting? 43. What do you wear to bed? 44. Tea or coffee? 45. Chocolate or Vanilla? 46. Are you excited for anything? 47. How late did you stay up last night and why? 48. What’s your ringtone? 49. Did you have a dream last night? 50. What keeps you going each day? 51. Picture of yourself

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daandov · 5 months ago

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[ ... ] ─── i do it so it FEELS LIKE HELL - i do it so i feel real.

i am only thirty and like the cat i have nine times to die. ─── [ ... ]

O MY ENEMY DO I TERRIFY ??

crossovers are preferred & no knowledge of elder scrolls is needed to interact ── blog established october 2023 , character est in 2018 , blog triggers include ;; substance abuse & suicidal ideation , loved by ouija , 21+ , she/her , rules below the cut

affiliated with @recitedemise , @bendwill , @tidesfate / @eldritchborn

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⸻⸻

( ₁. ) character timeline . ( ₂. ) pre-est connections . ( ₃. ) spotify . ( ₄. ) meta sideblog . ( ₅. ) pinterest . ( ₆. ) carrd .

008. ooc ⸻ hey i’m ouija , 30+ i’m just a nerd. I have a full time job and a home to maintain so my activity will vary. icon border by ariapsds and icon psd by jaynedits

i've grown comfortable existing on the edges of fandoms and just fitting val within them, thus i'm very crossover friendly.rape, incest, pedophilia, hate / bigotry (ie: racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc) is not accepted on this blog. i may keep myself distant from callouts or personal drama that appears (mainly just because i don't like calling attention to myself), however i'm not against them when it comes to keeping the dash safe and letting people know about problematic people.

#pinned.

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lonleygirl222 · 6 months ago

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There was a girl.

**Disclaimer, names have been changed for privacy reasons.**

(So you know who I'am speaking of there are the names below)

S- Chloe

J- Georgina

M- Melanie

T- Drea

Well now that i have the time to talk about all of this I would like to tell you about the time i feel in love with another woman. Let's take this back to 2013? or 14. I was in this group on Facebook in my Local city in Arizona. I met a woman by the name of Chloe. To describe Chloe she reminded me a lot of a female Johnny Bravo mixed with a night, i guess lol. She wasn't really much of anything negative at the time because i didn't know her. So i one day friended Chloe on facebook, thought we could be friends and i was open to finding a girlfriend and wanting to have that world FULLY opened up. I had dated women in the past and i wanted to date another one. ((Lets be clear though i have been married since 2012 and he was FULLY aware and OKAY with the situation!!)) Chloe and I were friends for I wanna say a year before we actually hung out. She invited me to a concert ahh i loved that show so much!! Rob Zombie!! and in this moment? Anyway, that was a good show. Chloe and I hit it off the energy and the vibe was good. She picked me up and dropped me off, it was nice. Next couple weeks went by and she invited me to dinner so i went it was a nice place she took me to. I had a kale salad i didn't enjoy it lol BUT i'm a woman and thats what we do lol. FROM WHAT I REMEMBER she had asked me to be her girlfriend and i accepted. I like to live life in the moment so we got to know each other as the days went on. She was from Seattle, she had two cats, she's divorced, manager for a very well known company. She is a Pieces. Amazing cook! Things with her were just simple we clicked. I don't know why or how we just did. OH the LIVE.ME days. I usually go on from every now and then but not as much as i used to before. The older i got the less fun it became. She never met Georgina, Melanie, or Drea. They didn't know about my relationship with Chloe because i knew how judgmental they were and I felt like they didn't want to compete with another female spending time with me. Plus at the end they were Jealous about my relationship with her anyway. So anyway. Things with her were great. The sex ugh! I kind of tingle thinking but i wont even waste energy. lol. So sex was good, the conversations were good. I feel like she didn't really understand my resting bitch face when i would watch tv some times lol but its okay. I was a little annoyed that she kept asking me if i was okay haha. She showed me a new show i liked and it was good. Wentworth check it out. WAY better than Orange is the new black. Chloe was extremely giving. Never expected anything back. She was ALWAYS there for me. When i didn't ask she would deliver. She was in love, I wasn't as there like she was but i got there and once i was there, i was there. I wanted to be with her every day. I wanted to fall asleep in her arms and enjoy having someone care for me when im sick or uplift me when im sad. I never had that from my husband. I spoke to my cousin about everything and told her that i would really leave my husband for her But i was scared. I don't know what it was at the time but i was TERRIFIED!! My friend Georgina found out I was dating Chloe. She apparently saw us at a restaurant and went and created a group chat on facebook with Melanie and Drea. she told them about us and it was basically an intervention for me. I met up with them at this spot at a restaurant we usually went to. That whole set up was because Georgina opened her big mouth. Now this all started like 3 months ? into our relationship. Things started to go bad Like REALLY bad. Chloe started getting messages, texts, calls, emails. all from Georgina. The other two didn't know about this. Once they found out a whole month later no one could put a stop to it. Georgina was a little crazy to make people believe in her like she is HORRIBLE things when we were younger and she got her way out of it. Lawfully things. i can't believe i allowed her to get away with so much. Things got so bad Chloe and i started to fight we broke up got back together broke up it was just a mess. part 2?

#lesbian love

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mx-matched-knickknacks · 17 days ago

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HERE WE GO [Under the Read More cause I already know it's gonna be loong LMAO]

Bfbfvegege maybe I am praising him too much in this and yeah maybe someday I'll go back to this post and cringe, but hell, lifes short and the internet is forever, right? I don't really go on Autism rants about my interests often, so if your looking for trouble simply keep scrolling thank you very muchh 💚💚 (and im sorry if anything written comes off as rude, that is not my intention i promise)

Well... here we are. I think it's fitting that now, at the end of this era, I write one big love letter to Joost and this fanbase hahaha XD

As many of us approach knowing of Joost for HALF A YEAR (holy shit, already?!) and we finally get the answer that he's not going back to ESC next year, I can't help but be nostalgic :•}

Obviously getting really into this Dutch artist was not expect haha, but ohh what a ride it's been so far. And because of TikTok of all things XD As an American fan, finding him was purely by chance, but I'm ever so grateful I did. Ive spent so much of my freetime watching the live Europapa performence over and over and over again, folding and cutting and glueing those cute little paper dolls of him, scrolling endlessly on TT for every little bit of love shown, watching every interview and live performance hes done (and all the concerts he played at!!!)... and also spending maybe a little bit too much money shipping Chrome Magazine over to the US lol ^^; This probably wont sound like much to you, but this one man somehow managed to disrupt my ongoing 4 year streak of a different special interest! How about that!!!

Now... ive seen both wonderful and absolutely terrifying things from this fanbase, if im gonna be totally honest... ^^; but overall id say my experience has been pretty good! Obviously I have not interacted with ppl within this space much (as often happens with my interests sadly) but yall who do act right are pretty damn cool and extremely talented !!!!! (And huuge shoutout to those who work hard to translate from Dutch to English too, like JoostSubs on twt!!!!) ^^ This kind of creativity is what Joost wants to inspire!! Remember that!!! And I do want to take more steps into being more active in the fanbase in the future <3

Now about Joost himself...

I don't think I've ever know of anyone who's star shines as bright as his. Through time and turmoil he remains steadfast and ever so kind to those around him (almost to a fault). With his friends; Stuntje, Apson, Lyon, Tantu, Donnie, Alanis (and all the rest of em!) He's shown incredible amounts of love and care for :'•) Even after becoming such a big name worldwide, he still remained in a state where he can still do what he loves with the ones he cherishes most and that's just so damn wonderful to me 💙💙💙 His pure unadulterated silliness, his infectious joy and positivity, and how he unabashingly is himself no matter where he goes are qualities i really do look up to in him. Just the most wonderful guy I've ever seen whos sooo full of whismy...

Though I can't relate personally to the meanings behind most of his songs, I don't think that prohibits me from still appreciating just how much heart and soul he puts into them. And seeing all the people who have been helped and felt heard bc of his music... it just makes me very happy, yknow? Is that so cringe to feel?

I don't wanna talk as much about his disqualification and that interview he did earlier today (for not focusing too much on the negative), but I do firmly believe that he was treated extremely unfairly just in general by... certain groups (you know the ones). I will say that I am very glad Tantu called them out tho 😁😁. The decision of not going to ESC 2025 being last minute did sort of surprise me tbh. Maybe one day he'll release the song he made for next years ESC, but it did seem to cause all of them a lot of ultimately unneeded stress... so I wouldn't be surprised if that's something released in the far future. I really do hope that Joost and his friends can spend good time healing from everything that has happened since May, whatever way they find suitable.

I don't think I'll be leaving this fanbase anytime soon (or will be able to LOL), but as we reach sunset of this "Europapa" Era, I want to say:

Gabberland Era here we come!!!

Love Always Wins #LAW

Unity forever and ever 💙💙💙

#JoostKlein2025

Be normal, be healthy

No matter where this future takes us, I'll be forever grateful to have Joost in my life 💚💚💚💚💚

Ty for reading my silly rant :'•} mwah mwah

Lord help me I'm about to type up all my thoughts about Joost after that interview 🙏🙏 /lh

#joost klein #Joostklein2025 #Joost klein droom groot #love always wins #autism ramblings #But fr if any other Joost enjoyer wants to be moots than I'd be glad to :]

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