#I'm still there mentally
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my brother came up with the BEST idea, and that is: the “we have a connection, Lockwood just isn’t capable of sustaining it” line should be dialogue at the diner when Lockwood is trying to convince Lucy to stay, i.e.
Lockwood [desperate and scrambling]: please, Lucy, you have to stay. we have something, together. Lucy: I care about you and George, and that’s exactly why I can’t stay. Lockwood: yes but I’m not talking about me and George, I’m talking about you and me. us. there’s a - connection. I know you’ve felt it. when we were running and the whole world molded around us? it’s real, Lucy, you can’t just give up on that. Lucy [steeling herself to land the killing blow]: I know it’s real. Lockwood [allowing himself to hope]: So? Lucy: I believe we have a connection. what I doubt is your ability to sustain it in any meaningful way.
#and cate's brother said#I mean cate's brother said the location I'm the one workshopping dialogue options#lockwood spoilers#ish??? all this happens off page#anyway brother said 'she should say it to flo or something'#and i said 'no i want her to say it to his FACE'#and he said 'AT THE DINER'#I had to pause for like forty seconds. couldn't move on.#I'm still there mentally#the hollow boy#the creeping shadow#cate liveblogs!#cate reads l&c
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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
#writing#fic writing#like this is stuff i'm doing for fun with my perfectionism meter turned down as far as i can get it#and i am still thinking about it A LOT#talk to me about how in red string fic jgy perceives the memory block both as syrup and as mud but nmj thinks it feels like blood#it's just a thing in their heads that mentally feels kind of thick and sticky but they both made something different of it#it's about issues with cleanliness / lies as a way to craft an illusion of a better lopking world vs the constant violence nmj lives in
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senshi fans: learning how to make nutritious meals for themselves
laios fans: down bad
marcille fans: lesbianism
chilchuck fans: putting that man in situations
#this is what I've observed over the past few weeks#it's great#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi#laois touden#marcille donato#chilchuck#2000+ notes later and I'm starting to think i read y'all to filth#with exception to senshi fans also being down for him#update at 9000 notes: you can like laois for autism reasons and still be down bad#some of y'all in the tags and fics are down bad for laois in mental way#like you want him to be real so you can do brain crazy with him do you understand
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[MASTERPOST] - witcher!Jaskier is back!! I can't believe I finally did it, yesss, I finally drew something for those two again 😭
Also: Jaskier is 5 seconds away from being thrown at the next drowner.
#is anyone still here 🥺👉👈#the witcher#jaskier#geralt of rivia#artists on tumblr#bear!jaskier#i was ill this week - which was bad - but I finally managed to make some sketches and draw!! I'm slowly clawing my way back to it!#I swear that gave me like at least 50 mental HP alone
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“And I am more than these bones I feel love, I feel alone I just wish you would come home” - Flesh & Bones; Keaton Henson
Original 2014 version Companion 2015 piece Ko-Fi
#artists on tumblr#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin fanart#fanart#merthur#merthur fanart#arthur pendragon#merlin fan art#merthur fan art#my art#so like this is months in the making and i'm sick of looking and picking at it#perfection doesn't exist and I'm never going to live up to the mental pedestal i hold the OG to#so enjoy this nostalgic throw back to 2014 as a 10yr anniversary to myself and the fandom#My redbubble is basically dead but lmk if ya'll want it up there to purchase#otherwise i might look into doing a private limited print and send them out#if you're not keen on purchasing a print but still want to support me then my kofi link is there :)#do we think 2 signatures might deter reposting theft of this one?? 🤡🤡 lol
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Do you think in the Underworld Eurylochus heard voices of the drowned men asking him why he opened the bag?-
#like when Oddyseus heard#~why would you let the cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy~#do you think Eurylochus heard something like#~Why would you open the bag you've doomed us all Eurylochus~#or something like this#yknow#the wisdom saga is out and I'm still mentally stuck in the Underworld saga help#epic the musical#epic the underworld saga#epic the wisdom saga#eurylochus#eurylocus epic#tagamemnon#the oddyssey#oddyseus#jorge rivera herrans#mr jalapeño#someone probably already did this
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
#and yet i NEVER DO REMEMBER IT#spilled ink#writeblr#i feel like due to tiktok ppl think >#deeply depressed & not having an emotional reaction to things MUST mean#you are cruel or uncaring#like girlie that is STILL a lack of mental illness awareness. it doesn't make us mean#it just means im like. ohhhh im not well. i don't really react to puppies. that's bad#Im still gonna be super nice to the puppy. like it just doesn't bring me joy.#bc the problem i have is CLINICAL. the dopamine ISNT being made.#but PLENTY of us are still kind#considerate.#GENTLE people. even if we're like '..........' all the time.#i actually think this is why i'm harsh on people who are so mean - you don't need to be emotionally attached to someone/thing#in order to be kind.... you just choose to be kind bc it's the right thing to do#not bc it's easy....... like it's extra effort sure. but it's worth it. bc ppl deserve kindness.#it's hard to describe this bc it's the ugly side of depression. the part that's like#not in netflix - the part where it's like ''i love this person. i just don't feel anything''
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The Mighty Nein Reunion: Echoes of the Solstice
#critical role#ygifs#cr lb#echoes of the solstice live show#ashley#marisha#laura#ETHEREAL WOMEN. DEAD TO HAVE SEEN THEM LIVE#me sitting there already mentally giffing all the moments I need to chew like IT'S SO GOOD Y'GUYS I'M STILL#they're so fucking beautiful so fucking hot I'm just
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Me every time I log back in to this account
I'm thrilled you're still here! I'm not gonna make any promises but I've missed this blog
#tldr: i had a spectacular mental health breakdown i'm still working on#but my therapist said I should not let this blog overwhelm me with stress#because at the end of the day i'm just here to share some fashion history#it's not my full time job
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#mentally I'm still here#cuties#god#get married and have babies you two#polin#penelope x colin#colin x penelope#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#love#nicola coughlan#luke newton
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[ID in alt text, transcripts for comics also found there!]
🎉🎇HAPPY NEW YEAR!🎇🎉
Sure was a year...This is just me taking the end of year opportunity to post the various DC comics doodles that have been gathering dust in my files! Disclaimer that I'm a heathen who mostly reads batfam comics (and also a lot of. Sidekick-y stuff? Like YJ98) and these are all for fun! (Image #3 is a direct adaptation of this text post I made)
#dc comics#dc#cassandra cain#damian wayne#roy harper#lian harper#cassie sandsmark#maya ducard#flatline dc#kathy branden#...im hesitant to tag steph bc i feel like everytime i tag her the post refuses to show in her tag#stephanie brown#anyway yeah uhhh recently bought the yj98 omnibus (IT'S FUCKING HUGE) so that's why cassie redesign#years and years ago i posted a draft of a cassie redesign that's like. similar to what i have but i vastly prefer this version#OH!#i forgot to tag stephcass :(#whoopsie#but yeah i did a lot of steph reading this year (STILL SO MUCH TO DO) and ouughh boy. she's had her claws in my brain ever since#damian and dick are there. nough said#<- I'm extremely mentally ill about them there's just still a lot for me to read. i have nightwing rebirth with them! and some early b&r 09#also robin 2021 issue. 4? i wanna say? the one where dick gives damian his bday present. makes me cry like a pressure washer#also I'm so sorry if I've somehow managed to (in my extremely limited presentation of them) present roy and lian as ooc in anyway#I've only read arsenal 1998 bc it was a mini. hit or miss but it did imprint a love of roy and lian on me#I'm only semi following the current green arrow run rn mostly for those 2#(also sidenote the guy who writes current GA is ALSO writing B&R AND SUPERMAN??? AND A G.I JOE COMIC????-#-girl say what you want about his work it's a miracle any of it is comprehensible at all w/ all those titles going on)#(he said he's not sure how long he'll stay on GA tho. I'm also low-key not sure how long he'll stay on B&R-#-though i imagine it'll be at least a years worth bc he said that's how much notes he has for plot? also idk if many other writers at dc-#-are interested in damian rn especially next to Bruce)#HOO this got away from me I'm outta tags. uhhhh see u guys in 2014! woo!
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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hello nonhuman ally / young uneducated nonhuman. you have a bomb strapped to your chest. to diffuse it, you must explain why alterhumans are valid without saying any of these phrases
- they still know they're human / it's not like they believe they're physically nonhuman
- well they're not delusional / mentally ill
- it's just a phase, don't bother them / let kids be kids / they're just exploring their identity
- well they're just [insert something that only describes otherpaws / furries]
you have 1 hour.
#/silly#alterhuman#kitoposting#otherkin#therian#nonhuman#therianthropy#nonhumanity#otherkinnity#alterhumanity#i came up with this while walking to the store#for the third one: i'm not saying kids can't be alterhumans#and alterhumanity can certainly be a phase and still be valid#BUT IT IS NOT ALWAYS A PHASE#AND IT IS NOT ALWAYS KIDS#also for the second one: being mentally ill shouldn't be so stigmatised the biggest times for my nonhuman identity was for coping reasons.#like come on. ik plenty of mentally ill nonhumans and they're awesome#also the reason why i say nonhuman here instead of alterhuman is due to the fact that not all alterhumans are nonhuman#and i wanted to use the 'they still know they're human' quote everyone likes to flaunt
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Been feeling kinda down all day and Wriolette is cheaper than therapy, so
#Wriolette#Wriothesley#Neuvillette#Genshin Impact#sketches#my art#look I'm sorry I don't care about Natlan#mentally I'm still at Palais Mermonia#(but looking forward to Capitano) (love the harbingers)
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Are you gonna make the playlists for the heartless characters public? Or has that already happened and I just missed it
AH I haven't shared my character-specific Heartless playlists as some of the songs on them were SUCH specific picks that they risk being highly spoilery lol 😅
(For funsies tho I'm gonna put some of my non-spoilery-est top tracks for each character under the cut! 🎶)
HEARTLESS: Heartbeat – The Midnight
ALCHEMY: Transform – Julianne Hough (this was the very first track on Alchemy's playlist it is SO them)
FLINT: Change Your Heart Or Die – The Midnight
EIRA: In The Cold – Vincent Lima
DOPPEL+GLASS: Call Them Brothers – Regina Spektor (And "Still Here" from Treasure Planet, but especially the Alex Ubego version)
RIVER: Machine Learning – Janani K. Jha
CREED: Hunting Witches – Kyle Stibbs
LORELEI: Siren Song – Lambia (Also: Ado’s version of Unravel 😩👌)
DIANA: Hell’s Comin’ With Me – (the Chloe Breez cover in particular)
LANCE: Blood Upon The Snow – Hozier (Most of his playlist is the kind of metal and high energy tunes you might expect for him, so this one's a fun outlier :3c )
BANDY: HARLEQUIN! – Vana
DOCK: Eye For An Eye – 8 Graves
#daily dork#heartless#abd illustrates#playlists#music#also: always v much open to suggestions if y'all have any tunes you associate with any of the Heartless crew! (^^)/#it was so hard to pick just one track apiece here omg sgfkhsfd#but these all inspire some fun mental images for me so hopefully they're a fun listen! (^^)/#fun fact my other pick for Bandy would've been that work song from Trolls 3#also I mention that particular cover of Still Here 'cause it's the closest a voice has sounded to how I imagine Doppel's voice#like its not exact but there's somethin about the tone and mix of softer moments along with the teeeeny amount of grit at the beltier parts#feels like it's D+G's range so it's nice to listen to when I'm trying to brainstorm anything about them
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please. i want to draw. i want to write. i want to imagine
#the scariest though is i my lack of imagining and daydreaming.#it's been a serious hobby and coping mechanism my entire life#and i have so much passion and feel so much for the little world in my head#but lately it's been harder to imagine and when i do it's not so passionate/i don't feel things as fully#which is so strange because even at my worst mentally i still had that#and i'm nowhere near my worst mentalyy#please i want it back#let me hyperfixate again#unityrain.txt#:(
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