#I'm still kind of figuring out the story but I have a rough general idea

[starrspice]

Have this Fairy Tale AU to reign in the new year!!

In this AU the prince(s) charming from all the classic stories falls in love with the woodsman rather than their Fairy tale loves after being saved from a band of marauders on their way to the castle one night

Meanwhile the woodsman (Y/N in this case) has decided to hunt down all the dark beasts in the shadows they can find to finally give the kingdom some peace, weather it be wolves or trolls or dragons, they want the people of the kingdom to feel safe. (Some more than others)

[adobe-outdesign]

Kung Fu Panda 4 Rewrite Thing

Been chewing on this movie for a while now and wanted to take a shot at improving it. Some parts are a bit rough but I think this gets the general idea across.

As a rule, I'm trying to keep most of the characters and elements/plot beats in place rather than spinning things off in a completely unrelated direction. I also am aware of the restrictions placed on this movie, such as an unwillingness to rehire high-profile VAs and runtime limitations. This is just meant to be a "what if" kind of thing. That said:

We open with a stylized sequence of Po telling the story of his and the Five's latest battle. As it ends it's revealed he's at the grand opening of Mr. Ping's brand new bigger, better noodle shop location, talking to the customers.

As one of them asks where the Five are now, Po explains that they got summoned to their own individual missions, but they'll be back soon.

(Yes I am still having them be MIA, as Po needs to be alone with Zhen for part of the movie. However, they'll only gone for the first part of this rewrite and for a very specific plot-related reason.)

(The thing with Po needing to give up his title of Dragon Warrior makes no sense for multiple reasons, so let's just drop that plot point entirely. I get that it's meant to tie into the "change" moral, but I'd rather have Po imparting this lesson onto Zhen instead of learning it himself, as otherwise it undermines the character growth he had in 3.

Also, Po isn't carrying the staff around with him constantly in this rewrite, as it looks a bit silly and isn't plot relevant here.)

A messenger shows up to report that the Jade Palace is under attack. Po decides to rush over just in case Shifu needs backup... which he does, because he's being kidnapped in a small one of those magic-proofed cages from the actual film.

(Shifu being kidnapped was tossed around in the writing room originally and I want to keep it in this rewrite because it A) gives Shifu something to do, and B) I want to allow Zhen to openly be working with the Chameleon in order to help flesh out her character and avoid the lackluster plot twist, meaning she'll need new leverage against Po later on.)

The figure behind the kidnapping appears to be Master Elephant, which confuses Po as he's been missing for several months. Right as he's about to land a finishing blow, the figure shape shifts into Master Chicken, throwing Po's attack and resulting in him getting a bad head injury. He does his best to pursue the attackers, but can't keep up. Dismayed, he returns to the Jade Palace...

...And finds Zhen trying to steal something, using the commotion outside as a distraction. Po fights, but he's still badly injured and can't give it his all, resulting in Zhen being able to slip away with her prize—a dust bunny from under the furniture. Po is baffled.

(Side note: I would probably redesign Zhen so she actually looks like she matches the other characters' style, but I digress.)

Feeling dismayed, he returns to the noodle shop, where both his dads work on treating his wounds and comforting him. As Po explains what happened, Mr. Ping mentions that customers have been circulating rumors about a shapeshifting sorceress in Juniper City. Po decides that that's where he needs to go, promises his dads he'll be safe, and leaves.

(I'm cutting Mr. Ping and Li's subplot, because as much as I love them they don't really add much to the plot. It also feels like it goes against Mr. Ping's characterization in KFP 1 and 2 in particular.)

This is where we can have the scene of the Chameleon vs. the crime bosses. This can mostly stay the same except one of the bosses attempts to attack her when she shape shifts, causing her to retaliate with a magic-based attack. She also needs to straight-up kill the guy to establish her and her sorcery as a legit threat.

Po arrives at the Happy Bunny tavern to look for a ride to Juniper City. As he talks to Fish and Chip, he notices Zhen nearby doing some black market trading with Granny Boar to obtain a white feather. Po confronts her and she tries to run out with the feather, causing the boar family to pursue in a big fight scene.

Po and Zhen manage to escape, Zhen stashing the feather. Po threatens to have her sent to jail, but Zhen confirms she's working for the Chameleon and can lead Po to her so he can rescue Shifu. Po dislikes this situation, but has no choice but to agree.

(Unlike in the actual film, I would make it so her lair is hidden in some fashion; magic that keeps it camouflaged would be appropriate for a chameleon, or it could be underground or hidden behind something. Regardless, it should be impossible to locate without Zhen's assistance.)

On the boat ride over to Juniper city, Zhen says that she has to "obtain" one more item from the local history museum or she'll be in big trouble with the Chameleon. Po doesn't like this detour, but once again has no choice in the matter.

Po asks why Zhen would want to work for someone so obviously evil, and this is the point where Zhen admits she was adopted by the Chameleon and we get her backstory.

(I would establish that the Chameleon has an actual name, but only Zhen uses it. It shows that Zhen is closer to her than most, not quite seeing her as a mother but not fearing her enough to use her preferred title. Also, the Chameleon's the only KFP villain without a proper name and that bothers me.)

The backstory can be the same, but the part about her living on the streets and meeting the Chameleon for the first time should be merged into a single flashback.

Zhen says that Po couldn't understand, but Po reveals that he's also adopted, and that he probably would commit some noodle-related crime if his dad asked him to. Still, Zhen insists that people don't change, and that includes her.

They arrive at Juniper city (Po is impressed at its size but he very much is not acting like he's never seen a city before). Zhen covers up her muzzle and tucks her tail under her clothes so she won't be recognized.

Zhen is ready to break into the museum, but Po says that he's got this and goes up to the guards to tell them that he has some official Dragon Warrior business to take care of and will need to borrow some ancient artifacts.

Unlike in the actual film, everyone ready acknowledges him as the Dragon Warrior. The guards are more than happy to loan him whatever he needs... until Zhen's tail pops out and the guards recognize her, prompting them to attack.

During the scuffle, Zhen uses a chi blast to knock back one of the guards, but almost gets taken out by the other guard coming up behind her. Po defends her but gets mildly injured as a result.

After the fight, Po asks about the chi move and Zhen states that the Chameleon taught her the basics.

Zhen confirms that the Chameleon is a master of chi, and that the sorcery she uses is a specific type of chi manipulation.

(The reason I'm connecting chi to her powers is that it makes them feel a bit less out of left field, and helps 4 feel like a logical progression from 3.)

Zhen admits that she's not very good at using chi, but Po points out that it took him years to use chi in battle. He also compliments her on her kung fu, and she confirms she's self-taught.

(In this rewrite, Zhen is good at fighting but not quite at the level she is in the actual movie. This is to address the issue of who taught her if the Chameleon doesn't know kung fu.)

He takes a moment to give her a few pointers, which causes her to ask why he took that blow for her earlier, figuring there's a catch. Po just says it's the right thing to do, but Zhen is skeptical, figuring he only did it because he still needs her to lead him to Shifu.

The reminder of Shifu prompts Po to move on, and they grab the item Zhen was after, a 500 year old set of blades, then run for it.

Po and Zhen arrive at the Chameleon's lair, and Zhen shows Po how to get inside and tells him where Shifu is being held. She says that she'll take the items to the Chameleon, which will distract her while Po breaks him out. Po thanks her, and the two separate. Zhen warns him of booby traps on the way out.

There are indeed booby traps, such as those saw contraptions from the actual movie and a bunch of guards. It takes Po a few minutes, but he eventually gets through them.

Po finds Shifu being held in a dark room. Shifu is glad to see him, but warns him to be careful as the Chameleon's likely not far away. Po explains Zhen's distraction and moves to free him... only for a cage to fall down and trap him as well.

"Shifu" is then revealed to be the Chameleon in disguise, who slips through the bars via shape shifting into a mantis and thanks Zhen for her help. Zhen apologizes to Po, who's naturally upset ("I mean, I know you were evil, but I didn't think you were THAT evil").

Zhen hands over the three items she collected, and it's confirmed what they are: a dust bunny that contains a clump of Tai Lung's fur, a feather from Lord Shen, and a pair of blades once wielded by Kai.

Po mistakenly interprets this as the Chameleon being a collector of kung fu memorabilia and tries to chat about the Jade Palace's collection, much to her bafflement.

The Chameleon explains that a trace of a person's chi remains long after their death, and demonstrates by doing The Tongue Thing on Kai's blade, stripping its chi, and immediately taking his form.

(As you may have picked up on, this rewrite removes the spirit world elements entirely. While they are really interesting, I think cutting them is the best option because:

1. There is so much plot involved with bringing Po's old enemies back that you could make that an entire movie in and of itself. It's hard to do it justice when you're cramming it in around the edges of this movie.

2. It makes the Chameleon too similar to Kai in terms of abilities.

3. Having her rely on stealing other's kung fu makes her come across as weak despite being a powerful sorceress.)

Po asks her if her goal is to take over China, but she says no; she just wants to end the practice of kung fu for good, and prove that sorcery is the superior option. To prove it, she has Shifu brought in.

While having your chi stripped does not remove one's kung fu abilities in this rewrite, it is still removing part of one's life energy and thus weakening them severely for a period of time—ergo, Shifu is still unable to fight at his best. Still, he manages to hold his own.

Instead of using kung fu, the Chameleon relies on the brute animalistic strength and inherent abilities of the forms she takes, switching whenever she's loosing to keep her opponents on her toes and even transforming into Shifu himself for a period. She also uses a few chi-based attacks.

Just when it looks like Shifu is about to win the fight, she uses her tongue to strip the chi from the fur clump, taking the form of Tai Lung. Shifu is so shocked and distraught that he fails to attack, allowing the Chameleon to land a serious blow.

She returns to her original form and states that when the blood moon has risen, she will battle and take down every master in the middle of Juniper city, where everyone can learn just how useless kung fu and the people who teach it are. She leaves Po in his cage panicking over Shifu, who's unresponsive.

Zhen follows the Chameleon outside, where we get the "does the blood moon always rise so slowly" gag. Noticing that Zhen looks troubled, she asks what's wrong, and Zhen talks about how Po encouraged her to do the right thing. Even though she's been told that kung fu masters are elitist, selfish people, she couldn't see any of that in Po.

(Side note: I want to establish in this rewrite that while the Chameleon will claim up and down that Zhen is only a pawn for her to use, she does care about her to some extent, even though probably loathes the fact she does. For example, when talking to Zhen here, she might pick some rubble out of her fur or something to show there's a teeny tiny bit of actual affection hidden there.

The reason for this is that all other KFP villains have had an emotional anchor—Shifu for Tai Lung, Shen's parents for Shen, and Oogway for Kai. The Chameleon being abusive but having some real love for Zhen and Zhen struggling with her gaslighting adds a lot more depth to both of them.)

The Chameleon finally reveals her backstory, which should be told in a hyper-stylized way à la the flashbacks in KFP 2 and 3. Just like Zhen, she grew up on the streets as an orphan, broke and starving. She admired kung fu greatly and wanted to learn it, but everyone turned her away for having no money to pay for lessons.

One day, she found a shiny jade amulet on the streets that someone lost, finally giving her a much-needed break. She is able to use that money to enroll in classes.

The problem was that while the money changed her financial status, it didn't change the way people saw her. Her master still considered her a lowly gutter rat and treated her as such, verbally insulting her and beating her down during training sessions. It's very much like how Shifu treated Po in KFP 1, except worse, especially because the Chameleon is a small and fragile animal.

Finally, during one training session she became too injured to move. Her master told her to quit and started to walk away, only for her to grab his leg with her tongue to trip him up. However, at the peak of her self-loathing, she instead discovered her chi stealing abilities and transformed into him. It's not shown, but it is implied she killed him.

As the flashback ends, the Chameleon shifts into Zhen and tells her that no matter how much you change, you can't change the way other people see you. Siding with Po, she says, will only get her hurt. Zhen nods and unexpectedly hugs the Chameleon, telling her she knows, and runs off.

Cutting back to Po, we see him frantically trying to break the bars of his cage. Zhen comes forward and drops down on her hands and knees, apologizing for everything. Po says that she came back, and that's what matters.

She reveals that the "hug" was actually just a way for her to get the key off of the Chameleon, and she uses it to unlock Po's cage. Po runs over to Shifu and he and Zhen heal him with chi, and we get a callback to the "I'M NOT DYING YOU IDIOT" scene from KFP 1.

However, while Shifu's not dying, he is very badly injured and can barely walk on his own. Po asks how they can take on the Chameleon and her army with just three of them, but Zhen holds up the key and suggests they get an army of their own.

Running downstairs, Zhen reveals where the other masters are being held. To Po's shock, the Furious Five are among those captured. Tigress confirms that the summons they received were traps laid by the Chameleon, and she already has their forms.

Also down there are the other crime bosses, as it feels like they just disappear in the actual film after their scenes.

Zhen only manages to unlock the Five's cages before before the Chameleon snatches the key back with her tongue, revealing that she knew Zhen was lying to her. Behind her, her army assembles.

Tigress confirms that that the Five will take on the army, and Po faces off with the Chameleon one-on-one. She strips the feather and uses Shen's form to fly up and take the upper ground, trying to kick a cage onto him. Zhen helps deflect it, and the Chameleon tells her to stay out of the way. Po and her continue to battle.

Despite Po's best attempts at blocking it, she does finally stick him with her tongue. He grabs it and throws her a distance in her fragile base form, injuring her but still giving her some of his chi in the process.

The Chameleon takes on Po's form next, and we get a fight similar to the one in the movie, though once again with her using less kung fu and more magic and physical attacks.

She mentions how she was rejected and tries to tell him that he should be on her side, because a bit fat panda like him must have been treated just as badly as she was. Po denies this, but Shifu admits it's pretty accurate. Po says he's not helping.

Po admits that she has a point, except she forgot one thing, and we get a callback to the "I'm THE big fat panda" moment from KFP 1.

The two attack at the same time. As the dust clears, it's revealed that neither are doing great—Po has gotten a lot of little injuries and the chi stealing has weakened him. The Chameleon is struggling to shapeshift at all, with the attempt causing her pain, and instead settles for trying to blast him. Zhen steps in and manages to redirect the attack back at her.

The Chameleon takes the blow and ends up back on the floor as a parallel to her flashback. Zhen reaffirms that she disagrees with her worldview—people can change, and she's going to prove it. If the Chameleon wants get to Po, she'll need to get through her first.

The Chameleon kind of laughs this off at first before realizing she's dead serious. She states that Zhen isn't even good at fighting, but Po disagrees, giving Zhen a confidence boost. The Chameleon struggles to her feet as if readying an attack, everyone braces themselves... and she surrenders, too injured to fight and unable to bring herself to hurt Zhen.

(There are a few reasons why I think her surrendering makes for an interesting defeat here:

1. There's no spirit realm portal to yeet her into in this version;

2. There's only so many times Po's enemies can be yeeted directly into the spirit realm before it gets old;

3. It adds character depth, and;

4. It ties back nicely in to the theme of change and that it's never too late to do the right thing.)

Zhen helps the Chameleon up, Tigress does the same for Po, and Monkey does the same for Shifu. The five reveal that despite being exhausted, they still managed to wipe the floor with the Chameleon's army, which Zhen thinks is incredible. Po introduces Zhen to them formally, and Shifu asks if they can save the introductions for after they get medical treatment.

Later on, Po (carrying the staff Oogway gave him) approaches Zhen, who's sitting under the peach tree by the Jade Palace. He asks her if she's doing okay after everything that's happened. She says she's alright, but is pretty scared of what's going to happen next, given that the Chameleon's in jail and she has nowhere to go.

Po reveals that him and Shifu have been talking, and he plans to open a new school as part of the Jade Palace that will offer free kung fu lessons to anyone who's interested in learning. Zhen asks if there are any spots open, and we end similar to the actual movie, with her training alongside the five.

the credits still end with the Jack Black cover of Baby One More Time because it slaps

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! I am writing a story where the mc's sister got into a car accident prior to the start of the story. She needed to have her left leg and right arm amputated at the elbow/knee, as well as some rib fractures. She was put in a medical coma for a while, and I was wondering how long would it take for her to be able to move around with a crutch, or begin prosthetic fitting? She still has a wheelchair, and her pt was pretty smooth. I know this is different for everyone, but do you have an idea for a rough timeline?

Thank you very much!

Hello,

Something you may want to consider is that the wounds you described alone probably aren't going to require a medical coma. An induced coma is almost always to protect the brain and give the brain time to heal, though it can be used for major injuries to something such as the heart or lungs if the situation is delicate and the patient being awake has a big chance of compromising their recovery. A coma is a last resort. At most, they'll probably only keep her sedated, not in a state as heavy as a coma, for a few days to let her injuries start to heal. But they aren't going to want to do that any longer than they have to.

Muscle wasting is a very real possibility with coma patients. They don't move for long enough and their muscles start degrading due to lack of use. There's also the huge risk of pressure wounds, like bedsores. A comatose patient needs to be moved and shifted as much as medically safe because a deep enough bedsore can be life-threatening and that needs to be avoided. There's a risk of blot clots, because the patient is laying down for a long time and blood clots can happen under those circumstances. Also, a patient in a medical coma will always, no matter what, without fail, be in the intensive care unit because they require a lot of monitoring to make sure they're healing. She will probably need to be intubated, because a medical coma is meant to force the brain to relax as much as possible and that can often mean the patient will struggle to breathe on their own. That intubation will make feeding tubes difficult, too. Not impossible, but difficult. You might also want to consider how long she's kept under. The longer a patient is kept in a medical coma, the longer it takes for them to come out of it once the reversal medications are administered.

The coma is going to put a very long extension on her recovery, just so you know.

As for how long recovery from an amputation takes, generally an amputation will heal in three to four weeks, though it might not scar over completely for as long as twelve to eighteen months. She'll probably spend at least one week in the hospital until her wound is starting to scar, during which time she'll learn base skills like transferring safely. Once it's safe, she'll probably be doing a lot of physical therapy to get used to moving around in a completely different way. That part of the recovery process can take up to four years, if not longer, before the patient has completely adapted. Of course, people can adapt faster than that.

She'll start training with a prototype prosthetic, something that isn't permanent and it just to help her get used to using a prosthetic, once she's out of the hospital. They'll be waiting for her residual limb to reach a stable shape, meaning there's not really a massive risk that her healing is going to require a bunch of different fittings. That will take anywhere between two to six months. Once that happens, she'll be fitted with a long-term prosthetic and then she'll get used to that. At this point she's probably kind of figured out most of how to navigate life, so now she's just getting used to the new leg and continuing to learn how to adapt to her circumstances. I'm not an amputee, so I can't tell you exactly what that would be like or how long it would take. Probably at least three months if she's a very dedicated and fast learner, but that's probably a bare minimum, as in the kind of adaption rate that only happens during clinical trials where doctors are overseeing and helping with everything.

And look, she's probably not going to be all that attached to a prosthetic arm should she chose to get one. The few upper-limb amputees I know if real life will either not bother, only have one because they thought they needed it before they learned how to adapt without it, or they just use it for a few minor things, like keeping people from demanding their medical history on the streets. I can't promise you it would be more practical, but it would probably be more practical for her to have a body-powered prosthetic rather than the new bionic ones that respond to the activity of certain nerves. There's a reason some amputees today still have hooks rather than the fancy ones, because the hook-type prosthetic works and going higher-tech would be kind of pointless because they're going about their lives just fine.

Here is the source I used for the amputee timeline.

Mod Aaron

[klm-zoflorr]

Fanon Lukas family tree!! Well, it's for my AU, but I'm sure we can make it work for canon as well ahah

& dark mode... it looks cool okay

I've been working on it for a month lowkey, ever since I started on that Evan/Naomi wip, just... Slowly building up lore and a story and characters and rough estimates of ages and tidbits of brainstorming and a timeline and daddy issues and coming up with names and in this case, well, superpowers too because that's what the AU is about. But anyways, I'm super excited to dig in further, because YES all of these characters pretty much have some amount of personality and interesting details about them so far. Woohoo!! It's also interesting for the same reasons Gerry is interesting; because powers pass down genetically!! Yeehaw!! I get to give them all slightly different versions of the same powers and see how it informs their relationships!

You can see here what was basically my very first version of it. How underdeveloped! It grew a lot, damn. Also some minor changes I made along the way, as for the reasons why... Well they're pretty interesting if I do say so myself, I'll talk about those later. Have fun spotting the differences if you'd like lol

Still, a few general notes so far:

I believe the only Lukases mentionned in canon are Peter, Mordechai (in the 1800's), Nathaniel (owner of their cargo company so presumably some sort of patriarch), Conrad (the guy who talked to the astronauts before shooting them into space) and Evan Lukas. To that I added Virginia, an OC but like come on we need some women represent around here. I've always interpreted Nathaniel as being Peter's uncle, so i put him there. Nathaniel should be the one in charge in my mind too, so I made him the grandfather of the main line/evan's line (because evan is sort of the main character here). I also wanted to keep peter away from the main branch because... Well i don't know. I just didn't want him to be Evan's dad I guess. Or else, you've got that specific branch of the family that gets all the spotlight and important canon characters, and everybody else kinda sucks. It's not ideal!

I originally planned on leaving Peter's branch of the family pretty blank to be honest just because I wasn't super invested into him. I thought he had a sibling and a few nephews and that was it. But then I relistened to mag159, realised he had 5 (wait, 4? Oh shit, did i fuck up. Uhhhhhh) A FEW siblings and that two of them were named, Judith and Aaron. So that was interesting!

Mostly the beginning of it was just figuring out the ages to get an idea of how they should behave and how it all fit in and how far down the line they should be, and then building around it.

Oh, yeah, and based on the few canon names we got, I tried to find names that fit in. The style was... Well. The lukases' names sound to me like they're very basic. Kinda trendy, kinda... What I thought about was "cute" actually. So i tried to keep the same vibe for the rest of my made up guys. Wee-woo. Annnnd ive been rambling again.

Oh, oh right, wait no don't leave yet there were still thing I had to talk about. Few important details I knew about at the beginning stages:

-Evan's mother is a Lukas, and she's very opinionated but kind

-I wanted Nathaniel's eldest son, the one who became Graham (no, not notebook eating graham) to have a son who resents him very much. So i did that

-Adeline! She's old as balls. And very nice. Iwant her to be my grandmawmaw

-oh, right, Mordechai 2!!! For him I thought of the power first, basically he can show you things that happened in the past without having witnessed them. It's a pretty great ability imo.

-Oh, yeah, uh, every Lukas passes down their family name no matter their gender lol.

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[sloppysequinz]

hiii glitz [cool new nickname for you]

i was wondering if you could speak on your writing process? all your stories are so good and as someone who veeery occasionally writes i'm curious how you go about doing it? thanks !

[definitly not drunk-girl shh]

Ok definitely not @drunk-girl! I've been dwelling on this ask for quite a while. I really appreciated the question a lot :) This answer ended up being kind of long so I put it under a read more for courtesy. Also I loooove the nickname glitz <3

So generally my writing process starts with a little seed of an idea. It could be a text post or a photo I see on here, something that happens across my mind while I'm out and about, it could be a suggestion from a friend. Baby's First House Party came from being in a town where I used to go to school and feeling nostalgic about house parties, Step-Mom came from a story with drunken wetting on here that I just found unexpectedly hot, Meet Cute came from memories of when I lived in a place with a screen door that had a view of my whole living room. The idea just has to spark some kind of interest in me. Sometimes I recognize it right away, sometimes it takes a little bit.

Then I usually spend some time fleshing it out, just in my mind. For me, this usually happens right when I'm falling asleep. I tend to daydream about horny stuff in bed anyway, so it kinda comes naturally. I just spend some time figuring out character dynamics, what the "core" scene or scenario I'm getting at, and to be crude, what turns me on. I follow the turn on down the rabbit hole and let it take the wheel. Sometimes I don't realize I have a good idea until I'm lying in bed fantasizing about something I hadn't thought about before. Sometimes I think I have a good idea, but if I cant generate organic fantasies about it, it won't make a good story.

Usually by the time I sit down to write, I have a good idea of what the characters are, the key thing I want to get to, and how I'm going to get there. For characters, I don't necessarily have names, but a general personality and archetype. When I say key "thing", that's usually whatever I find hottest in the imagined scenario that I want to frame in the center. For Step-mom, this was the scene of her drooling on the table and grabbing her own tits while pissing. For Meet Cute, this was Mel staring in awe as Yvette chugged a whole can of beer. For the first Mona and Lacy story, it was Lacy drunkenly begging Mona to drink while calling her mommy. I have a rough idea of how I'm getting those characters to that big scene.

Usually I just sit down and start writing from the beginning, describing the scene as I see it in my head and writing any dialogue I've thought of that seems hot or in character. Sometimes the characters will surprise me and say something I'm not expecting. Sometimes I have enough momentum to just write the whole thing from start to finish and be done, but not usually. Usually I'll write the opening, then I'll just jot down bullet points for the rest of the story. As an example, I pulled this from a draft of a sequel to Meet Cute that I'm still working on:

Yvette's a little forgetful but lets her in

Mel has brought more beer and a bucket of fried chicken

Yvette has two of the 12 beers left and half a pizza

Wants Mel's help to finish the pizza

"Come sit."

Once I have a rough outline of all the events I want to happen, I go back and slowly flesh them out. Depending on how much time I've spent dwelling on the idea, I may take some time here to workshop what works and what doesn't, what's hot and what isn't. Also, sometimes I start with the juice scene I want to get to, then do bullets for both before and after.

Once I've gotten it all written down, I save it as a draft and leave it alone. I come back a day or two later and proofread it. Once I'm done tinkering, I tag it and hit post (sometimes I realize there are typos or mistakes and I'll just edit the post if I have to).

In general though, the strength of my writing comes from the fact that I am a 30 year old woman who writes for my job. My work writing is a very different kind of writing (which makes this a fun break), but all the same, I have a LOT of practice. On top of that, I have multiple academic degrees that required a lot of writing to get. I also love to read and have read a lot of books. My advice if you're looking to get better at writing is just to do a LOT of it, and to read a lot of books. When I first got into intox kink at 21, I couldn't even figure out how to write down my fantasies, and now I just can't stop.

[dreambigdreamz]

fanfic idea for future reference 😌 it’s a swanlake x eothiriel

This is completely rough draft and I have a lot to work on, but I just found it again amidst my profile from long ago and just had to keep it for sake. And maybe I’d like to share it too — especially @meluiloth because you so kindly tag me everytime but I am always lazy to do anything related to writing 🥲 this one’s in honour for you and all your kindness in tagging me.

So like, the latest one is a Swan Lake plotline where it will start off as a suspense story. (No one else would be reading this and it will be a long time when I finally write and any who read will have forgotten about it so I'm going in all spoilers yes?) Éomer visiting Dol Amroth, the seat of his new friend Imrahil, and when he goes on his solitary late night walks on the beach, he keeps sighting a mysterious silver figure dancing, yknow. And when he tries to follow her once, he sees that she vanished as she ran into the Palace Garden. Now this Palace Garden is the beautifullest of places with flowers, shrubs, and fountains. But there is a big golden cage too, and in it is a snow-white swan that the whole royal family seems to love so much. THAT SWAN IS LOTHIRIEL CURSED BY A WITCH AND HER SOUL WILL BE A SWAN UNTIL SHE FEELS THE LOVE OF A MORTAL MAN AND RETURNS THAT LOVE. 

Like, whenever a young man asked for her hand, she always refused and one young man went to ask help from the witch to make Lothiriel love him back but instead the jealous witch turned her into a swan and she now only has human form in the absence of daylight and ahhhhh

Very simple and plain, Iknow but. For some reason I'm so excited for it to play out. 

I mean, everything about Eomer is simple and plain but so beloved in my eyes 😍

Yeah like a sort of Beren and Luthien meeting. Very simple, but when made with care and love, it makes my heart burst eek I feel like what will hinder Lothiriel's falling in love with him is her being so foreign to that. For sixteen years she was kept safe under the watch of her spinster aunt and doesn't lift an eye at a young man unless her elders permittedly tell her so. So I'm sorry but this girl's mentality was wrecked very beautifully and she simply doesn't know how to handle love

And for the next six years she was a swan, so very very unused to human company in general. Lol me materialising introverts in a poetic way. I think you'll be onboard with that idea. I don't know about you, but I feel so frustrated that I want to go out and mix in with people but it's so difficult to let go of the old restraints that had been for so long.

AND YES HAHAHA I am so making her foreign to love, and even a sequel where, after they have already admitted to each other's love, the curse still isn't broken and she begins to suspect it's because her love for Eomer is really imaginary. She 'loves' him only because she wants to break the curse. She has never known what is love to actually realise what she is feeling is really love. She doubts it. And truly, yes, she is a little selfish and she begins to be scared she'll never love anybody truly and this curse is to be forever. And they set out on a quest to find a way to break the curse and on the way she finds out what it truly is to love someone selflessly, without expecting anything in return, to want someone to be happy even if it means without you in their life. 🤓🤓 I just had to go and add that bit of angst in.

Like the first fic could be called 'So this is Love' and will end as they admit their love. So it's an open ended ending for everyone, those who wants to have the happily ever after can stop there. But the second fic sequel is gonna be like 'What is Love' and will start off with her still turning into a swan even after everything. It does have a happy ending though, I just have this scenario in my mind that they're coming back from the sea on a raft and she runs throgh the water up the beach to her gasping parents, IN DAYLIGHT. She's human in daylight so it means the curse is broken!! And they just share a hug :) I have this quote 'No I've never loved anyone before. If my parents died, I'd cry, but only because I wouldn't know what to do with my life next. Only because I would feel so lost without them to take care of me.' And in the end she finds the true meaning of loving :))) Because, whatever it is, love is love, selfless or selfish. If you love someone, for whatever reasons, it is still love, isnt it?? But for her she's been trapped in the cage of her mind for so long, not trusting anybody in case 'it doesn't work out'. Like, most of my heroines they are scared because they've been hurt before. For her, she is imagining all the hurt that could happen and limiting herself from the joy that was possibly waiting. Ahhh me 😁😁😁

I feel like this is going to be my healthiest pairing yet. They both admit to their flaws in so honest a way and come to terms with their imperfections. Like they actually got to talk!!! The quest symbolises their journey to compatibility, yknow, learning more about each other, and not only that but adjust to each other's problems. For example, Eomer himself realises he did not expect some selfish outbursts from this angelic creature and realises he had fallen in love with her shadow instead, her beauty and dancing in the twilight. He soon learns a lot more about her and learns why she is this way and also like why she is selfish and how to remedy that (she hoards up her favourite cakes all to herself and threatens him not to touch them).But that is bc she has been brought up privileged and not had any contact with anybody outside the world that she doesn't know how to fit in.

I'm so proud of it. 

Like first, you fall in love with someone for their outside. Then you have to endure and try to get to know their inside and then once you know what they are like, it is up to choice to try and get along or leave then. I think that's the three crucial steps to love :] And only after that, can you attest whether that love is 'true' as in compatible for the long run.

Yeah! I need a real life 🫠

Eomer’s flaw is chiefly that he takes things at face value because that’s how he was brought up. The Rohirrim doesn’t have much disguises and are straightforward and honest, you know. And he takes it that way. And when he first saw Lothíriel, that was the case: he took her to be a beautiful creature, a heavenly being. He has to learn the depths and layers of everything. 

And like, one incident is when he’s to leave the next day and asks if she’d wish him to return some day. She says, what would it change if she wish or not? That he’d try to come back at all cost if he knew she wished for it. She starts saying something like ‘But I could tell you that I wish for you to never come back here again. Would that prevent you from doing so?’ 

‘It would.’ 

Startled, she asks ‘Why?’ 

‘Because you said so.’ 

‘But I could be wishing something entirely different and may voice something else because of . . . propriety. And I am only saying this for example, mind you. Would you still take it at face value of what I said, when you probably know it to be otherwise?’ 

‘Yes.’ 

‘Then you are disregarding my— the person’s genuine wish?’ 

‘No. Though you may be wishing something different, I respect the decision you made to not speak of that wish. For whatever reason you thought it fit to keep your true feelings a secret, I will have to respect that decision of your mind that chose to not tell me your wish.’

Is this too cheesy—

I’m sorry I’m so proud of this atm tho

please let me know what you think 🥹🥹

[onesecretperson]

10 bloggers you'd like to know better challenge/prompt. tagged by @redpenship

last song: Return to Krocodile Isle, again, because I've been on and off listening to it after work since I first watched that animated music video. Just good kind of musical stuff.

favorite color: I have a very difficult time with Favorites in general, but I'll say a Dark Shade Of Purple right now, like one that'd be good for colour palettes in nighttime scenes.

last book: A Libertarian Walks Into a Bear, a nonfiction book that I'm only just finishing because of how sporadically I actually take time to read books. It's very amusing though, written like a long TV Documentary, though I imagine I'd find a lot of a nonfiction is written like that If I'll actually find more to read.

last movie: Adams Family Values, watched on a Discord Watch party, which is where I see most movies now a days. It was a fun movie, and surprisingly good.

last tv show: Mission Hill, also watched on a Discord Watch Party. First time I saw it & I was so surprised by how impressive the character animation is. It's also so well written for it's humour.

sweet/savory/spicy: Savoury. I can't handle a lot of forms of sweet anymore, like I can feel it actively damage me. Still eatch lots of sugary things but at a limited scope. Spicy is pretty good too but I don't like capsaicin much. Honestly though, whatever the flavor genre that brand cereal, oats, etc are in is the most common thing I eat.

relationship status: Single. Actually just started being interested in the idea of a romantic relationship this year. But... I only want to interact with people over shared interests. Putting energy into dating for the sake of dating is hard to justify.

last thing I searched: Aw heck, capsaicin, because I wanted to double check the spelling and if I was thinking of the right thing. I usually keep a thesaurus open due to my random dips in how confident I am in my understanding of basic words, so I don't have to use the search engine for it. Before that though was "Pathfinder Troop."

current obsession: I don't have a specific obsession above the rest right now, my brain is hopping between topics constantly. I AM however just falling off of a Disco Elysium obsession. Actually more like I'm actively forcing my thought patterns to change to stop thinking about it because I played the story twice now and I really don't want to start making fanfiction pitches and outlines for it. I also don't want to get stuck trying to perfect a run in it like I did when playing Suzerain for a month straight.

looking forward to: Trying out some sort of anxiety treatment, because I was never worried about how much I worried until I just recently started to consider that maybe my Psychiatrist is right about OCD to a limited extent. I also that a lot of my frusterating behaviors seems anxiety driven, and having more control over what I am able to do would be so nice.

BONUS TOPICS

favorite drink: Water. So much Water.

song playing on a loop in your head: Ms Langtree's Lament song from Over the Garden Wall. Mostly because I always forget certain lyrics and replaying the song to figure out what the lyric is.

current favorite character: Kim Kitsuragi. The hype about this man online was correct, he is such a perfect supporting character for a video game. Like he is so patient, but he also constantly has tells that reveal his interests and real opinions. He's so interesting.

fun activity you would like to get into: Making very simple video Games. Maybe even with other people.

last video game: Game Dev Tycoon, because I was weak last night and let myself slip into one of my annoying looping thought patterns around that game's gameplay. Luckily I actually didn't have as rough of a time getting stuck into it like I tend to.

last comic/graphic novel: I think the latest was the update of Jareddilon's Wayward Comic. But yeah I'm still trying to learn the skill of reading graphic novels. I have a lot of IDW physical prints but never read them veyr far yet despite enjoying what I did read. I was always so frustrated as a kid that I couldn't read comic either whenever I tried.

Tagging -I've just tagged people I've interacted with through Tumblr at least once before. Don't think any of these people have many interests in common: @noeggets, @bethdehart, @antirepurp, @slunberparty, @buginacup, @lonicera-edulis, @fridka, @snewdraws, @friendlyfangs, @skelleste

[thelonelyshore-if]

Hello! I'd like to start by saying that I absolutely love your IF- the concept is just so cool and I'm always so trying to imagine what happens next/what's actually going on behind the scenes.

To get to my main point, I'm considering starting an IF of my own but I'm having some issues... I was wondering how much you had thought out when you first started yours? Did you have the entire plot planned out with every single event or has it ever happened where you just kind of winged it?

Hey there, Nonnie!! Thank you so much. If you'd believe it, I'm also literally always thinking about what comes next lmao. I'm glad you're enjoying <3

I've written a bit about TLS and my process below to try and answer your other questions!!

Planning out TLS has been easier for me than it might have been otherwise, because the story is based on a tabletop campaign I ran for a few of my friends. TLS itself is based on a single session (though the world of Easthaven was the campaign's overall setting), and I've changed a lot to make it work as an IF, but I still had that general knowledge of the plot.

When I first started out, I had that rough estimate and little else. Just big plot points vaguely floating around in my mind (none of which are yet in the story, since the MC & Willow are exclusive to the IF). I worked out how I wanted the story to start, and for pretty much all of the prologue and even chapter one that's what I had.

Halfway through writing chapter two, though, I sat down and wrote out a chapter-by-chapter outline of the whole story. To do things like foreshadow and build up to certain events, I needed to know where they fit in the overall scheme of things.

That being said, I'm very flexible with that outline. I have unquestionably winged it lol. I've already shifted around the order of scenes in chapter 3 multiple times. While writing I'm able to sort of figure out what feels right and tweak the order of events as necessary to make the story flow.

If I was to give any advice, I'd recommend an outline. It doesn't have to be 'this is everything that's going to happen', (in fact, I don't think I'd personally be able to work with an outline that has every single thing written down), but writing down major events in a rough timeline can be a huge help. The smaller scenes and details can always be moved around or fleshed out as needed, but having plot milestones you know you're writing towards can be super helpful.

Especially considering interactive fiction specifically has so many moving parts! I find it helpful to keep track of everything if I at least have a loose idea of where I'm going c:

I'm not sure how much help this is, but it's sort of my general process. I wish you luck if you decide to write an IF--I've found a lot of joy in mine, and I hope that if you go for it you find the same <3

[hitracks]

BWAH tysm i'm deffo a mr fear kind of guy but it's really so fun :heart_hands emojis: so i'm happy to engage. if i can ask you some questions. ONE what's the outline idea for your funger au and TWO who's your favorite character from og funger. and least fave maybe :] yes

ILL ANSWER 2 FIRST cause it’s easier. My favorite in general is probably Cahara … wonderful bisexual wife guy. I am a terrible no good sucker for found family. Him and the girl make me want to throw up and die. Least favorite, other than Legarde, PROBABLY VALTIEL? Dude he just pisses me off hes such a little asshole. Not even prevalent enough for everyone to know about him either … just get smarter freak. Fellowship would’ve done numbers without you being the strange cisman Incel of the group…

FIRST ONE. OKAY. Outline is really really rough but, it happens BEFORE the current termina festival that you are seeing in game. So while things are still ‘set up’ where in game events or npcs would be around but not to the point where you would get the same endings… Like the ending with Relia ( Olivia’s Sister ) isn’t able to happen because Olivia is not there to trigger that event nor has Relia and her Team gotten to Prehevil ! This also means it’s before the Kaiser ( Legarde / Yellow King ) gets his hands on it completely, so most normal things about the festival are in full swing. Same starting event happens where they are on the train when it stops & they are unable to start it again … I am not entirely sure who I will focus on story wise first, but I have a lot of rough ideas for most of them. Some of the characters ( dsmp ones ) I have turned into Enemies with their likeness :-] some are just beasts and others are more coherent individuals just gone crazy by Rher. For example I am including DreamTeam but they got there a day before the rest of the party, and moonscorching effects already take over them just because the lot of them are susceptible to such …. So the rest of them would run into those three early on and only figure out later that THOSE WERE ACTUAL GUYS!!!! NOT JUST BIG SCARY BEASTS!

ENDING WISEEEE I want to try and do something with the egg & sulfur cultists for a general one … I think it would be interesting to play around with considering Rhers effects branch out like a living creature. Obviously all the B endings as well, which is just where the ‘main’ person survives and the rest of them it is either ambiguous or you kill them. If I have the brain power too I think I could definitely replace like. Relias story line to have something to do with Connor & Karl regarding DreamXD …. I will have to think on it more though. It would be hard to incorporate new gods into the already muddy storyline. Phil needs to be there too or I’m gonna lose my mind ( I like drawing him. )

[the-owl-tree]

oh my GOD I love your isekai warriors au.... I love that the isekai trope is becoming a lot more popular, especially in anime... please tell me more about it!!

shaking ur hand rn hello fellow isekai anime/other mediums fan :3c FIRST lemme go on my tangent about this genre and my main inspo because wow this got way too long lol

isekai is total comfort food for me haha it's my go to genre of manga/manwha/webcomic reading whenever i'm feeling down and while i generally feel the genre is getting bloated and somewhat stale in anime, i still enjoy it quite a bit. It's a cute idea with a lot of potential, i just wish less of the shows went for the wish fulfillment route of things since we have so many by now.

mine is very inspired by a lot of korean manwha style stories in which the protag gets trapped in a show/game/book/etc. and has to deal with it, specifically what if you became the villain of a story. A lot of them play off the trope of the one dimensional evil villainess and how an average person would have to deal with coming into the body of someone like that and dealing with consequences. That, or it's the tragic villain, someone's who's life is marred by tragedy usually of their own doing.

The most interesting ones are those that play on how character archetypes would actually work in the story. The cold bad boy is just a shitty abusive guy, the shy guy who follows the girl is kind of a stalker, and so on.

One of my bigger inspirations was a plotline that also stuck out to me: a teen girl who died too soon and got reincarnated as the mother of the protagonist. obviously she has no clue what to do, she's a kid who wants to go home! And the only way she thinks she can is by ensuring the story goes as planned (and this of course is doomed from the start, unbeknownst to her, the villain is a reincarnater too and has already made tremendous changes). She dies and the reader never knows if she gets to go home or not. It's kind of this rough around the edges gem of an idea that I love and obviously had to steal for myself.

note for anyone getting intrigued by my descriptions uh a lot of these stories tend to be pretty shallow in their exploration. this subgenre consists a lot more of wish fulfillment/revenge fantasies comparatively to like a deep dive of "oh my god i've fucked up the narrative". Not to say they don't have interesting ideas! many are super interesting. just like. temper your expectations if you're going in

originally the story was gonna be set in a canon arc but that felt boring so i decided to just make up a whole story for it

The story is meant to be a (loving) poke at old fanfiction, common tropes in the aforementioned subgenre of isekai, and just a general ""cliche"" Warriors series (in the human universe here, I figured it's call Battlers/Battle Cats or something stupid lmao). In this story, Frostblaze is born into [ONE OF THE FOUR FAKE CLANS I HAVENT FIGURED OUT NAMES YET IM SORRY]. She's the born to an unnamed mother who tragically died of illness when she was just a young baby and has no clue who her father is.

She's isolated from her peers due to her eyes which some believe are an omen of her unnaturality. This only worsens when she is apprenticed to their Clan leader and causes Honeypaw, the daughter of the Clan leader, to become enraged with jealousy. She is one of Frostpaw's worst tormentors in the early parts of the book and eventually, during a battle, tries to off Frostpaw herself....but is killed by Frostpaw's love interest, the dashing and handsome (if a bit stupid) Eaglepaw of [INSERT RIVAL CLAN HERE].

The two hit it off (Honeypaw is an after thought at this point) and work together to stop the eeevviilll leader of uuhh eviiiiilll clan. They win, live happily ever after, Frost is actually their Clan leader's daughter and Honeypaw is her half-sister and blah blah blah.

At least, they're supposed to. Honeypaw, out hunting, is hit by a truck at the same time a human is. Human wakes up as a cat about to be buried because everyone thinks Honeypaw is dead and freaks the fuck out.

A lot of the plot points are kind of just me working through my gripes of the subgenre lmao:

"the person who is reincarnated is more adept and cool and better than their character and everyone loves them" -> Honey is awkward, neurotic, and can come off as rude to those who don't know her. Even her coolest trait, her wrestling ability, is off-putting because oh my god why are you putting a cAT IN A SPIDER GUARD THEIR SPINES DON'T BEND LIKE THAT HONEY PUT HIM BACK TO NORMAL-

She reread the story before she died but, because she has no pen, no paper, and sadly of all, no thumbs, she's unable to write it down to keep remembering it when she gets sent to this world. It's awful and she desperately wishes she had thumbs back.

she stands on two legs, makes weird comments alluding to being a human, and just is a bit of a weirdo. Honeypaw was isolated for being mean, Honey is isolated for making everyone uncomfortable (unintentionally). However, her isolation allows her to slip under the radar and do some more investigating, as she's noticed that some of the details in the story aren't adding up...

The story is strange and the characters aren't as she remembers now that they're in the flesh. Of course, her main priority is to thwart Honeypaw's assassination attempts, the spirit being intent that the way to get her body back is if she dies again. It's only from a near death experience that they realize that that's not gonna work and have to work together to change the story so they don't die!

and, as many people have pieced together, they're not alone.

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

asking for holy blue because thats my jam (this being sagemoderocklee)

Oof okay this one's rough, but I'll do it for you <3

Down below, I gave an explanation and then a small snippet, because that's the most you'll get of this fic in likely a very long time. But it turned into a pretty big rant about my insecurities surrounding this fic as explanation for why it hasn't had any progress in literal years, whoops. Sorry this is so long!

Basically this was one of the first fics I planned out back in 2022 when I really started properly writing fic. The last fics I'd written had been DC comics fics back when I was like 12. I think I said this once or twice, but your stories specifically actually inspired me to be like "no I CAN write a long fic actually!! Those non-porn-oneshot ideas don't just have to stay ideas forever!! I do have it in me!" which led to me plotting this fic.

I then got wayyyy too overzealous, posted a prequel (that I'm not super happy with now and would like to make some changes to before I continue posting), and plotted out the first half of a two-part longform series before I was really ready. It's halted for a number of reasons. Partly because I'm struggling to figure out what I want to really have happen in the second half of the story. The half I have plotted could be a full story in its own right, but it's meant to be continued, so the ending would be depressing and frustrating in an unsatisfying way if it wasn't continued in a second story after that. I'm stuck on a resolution, though, and on turning the ideas I have for the second half into a proper story.

Also, I got overthinking and made myself super insecure about characterization (especially in regards to Lee), as well as how much of the story was very directly inspired by several other big, incredible fics in the fandom by several different authors I hold in really high regard. The stress of living up to that inspiration combined with the fear that the story wasn't original enough in the form I had planned kind of put the brakes on the whole thing. And then I got distracted by a bunch of other fics that I felt more confident in. Horror is my strong suit, I think, and this is not that at all haha

On top of all this, there's a major plot point that comes to light near the end of the first half. It's the type of thing that I've seen written so well in a couple different fics, and so poorly in so many others. It's something that I know is not everyone's cup of tea, even when it's well-written. And I've been torn about how much to be up-front with this plot point and how much to hide it. I want people to know the direction the story is heading in for the sake of their own enjoyment; so people who wouldn't be into it can just avoid it from the get-go instead of getting invested first. But I don't want to spoil things too much. But also, if knowing the outcome of a story ruins the whole thing, then it just wasn't very well written, right? Knowing what happens later SHOULDN'T completely ruin the story. If it does, that's on me for not writing it as well as I should have.

This is the overthinking I've been doing lol this is why there's been no progress on this story. It's funny, because I probably have a higher percentage of this fic written than most of my other WIPs.

Basically, if/when I finish and continue posting this story, it's going to come after a great deal of planning and work. And I'm not going to continue it until I really sit down and parse through exactly what stories inspired it and in what capacity. And after that, if I feel that it's original enough, I'd still want to give links to the stories that inspired it when I post it.

I don't want to say TOO much about the premise, because there's a lot that's meant to be *dramatically revealed* as the story goes on, but I can give a general teaser: It starts with Lee, along with the rest of Team Gai, spending a year in Suna. In that time, Lee and Gaara begin a bit of a secret, illicit affair. Obviously, Gaara's position as Kazekage complicates things, but Gaara intends to make it happen for them anyway. Lee, however, has some hidden commitments of his own that puts an even bigger wrench in those plans. Then, the year is up, things have snowballed, and no one is ready to handle the fallout of Gaara and Lee's rush into things.

You get two mediocre snippets to make up for the lengthy anxiety ramblings <3 featuring Sand Sibs Bantering (+Shikamaru) and a first second kiss between Gaara and Lee.

---

Temari grinned wickedly, a look rarely seen outside the company of the family.

“Alright. We’ll be stuck with them for the next year, so get any negative comments you have out of the way now.”

“If Neji’s still got a stick up his ass, I’m gonna have to be sick for a lot of meetings down the line.” Kankurou jumped in, ready to complain at any opportunity.

“He’s way more polite when he’s in diplomacy mode, trust me.” Shikamaru had finally - after years - adjusted to the siblings’ mean streaks. He took it in stride now. “Besides, he’s mellowed out recently now that Hinata is the acting head of the clan.”

“I don’t think Tenten likes me very much.” Gaara added, unwilling to speak too ill of allies, let alone friends.

Kankurou laughed at that, “She probably just doesn’t know what to do with you, man. You know how Konoha shinobi are, they wear everything on their sleeve. Sometimes Temari and I can’t even tell what you’re thinking."

“Besides," Temari interjected, with the slightest note of griping in her tone (which Gaara knew she would vehemently deny should she ever be accused of it; Temari did not gripe, according to herself and everyone in the world, save those who've known her their whole lives.) "I’m more worried about bowl cuts one and two. There’s only so much of that energy I can take before I want to pull my hair out.”

Gaara found himself responding before he even thought about it, “Lee is just… passionate.”

“Okay we’re supposed to be complaining about Team Gai here but I honestly gotta say–” Kankurou leaned on Gaara’s shoulder, “I really don’t get what it is with you and idolizing guys who beat your ass when you were twelve.”

“I’m not an arm rest.” Gaara’s sand pushed Kankurou away, “And it has nothing to do with that. He’s very dedicated to what he does. It’s respectable.”

“What you got a crush on the guy now?” Gaara’s almost choked on his own saliva, collecting himself when he realized his brother was just – once again – taking a joke further than it needed to be.

The last thing he needed was his siblings catching wind of his ridiculous train of thought as of late.

“That’s enough, you wasted your time with it.” Temari elbowed Kankurou until he straightened out his posture, motioning to the four who had just approached the chuunin on guard duty.

“Didn’t even get a good joke in about the jumpsuits…” She muttered.

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Lee’s rambling was cut off as Gaara sighed, seemingly fed up with the circles they were going in.

“Did you enjoy it or not?” Gaara crossed his arms and shut his eyes as he asked, almost like he was waiting for a blow to come.

Of course Lee enjoyed it. That was the problem, not that he could reveal that to Gaara at the moment. He enjoyed it far too much, and if he was smart he would nip this in the bud before it continued any further. Unfortunately, that would require lying, which he was never very good at.

“Yes…” but- he tried to say. The word stuck in his throat.

He didn’t want there to be a but.

Gaara’s eyes opened at that and his posture seemed to relax a bit. His torso shifted slightly as he breathed in, like something flowed through him, bringing him to life.

He took a step closer to Lee. Lee leaned in unconsciously. Gaara had to tilt his head up to look directly into Lee’s eyes.

“Do you want to do it again?” His eyes flicked down to Lee’s mouth, his neck, his chest, before pulling back up to his eyes. There was something there on Gaara’s face – a challenge, almost.

Lee could never resist a challenge, even against his absolute best judgment.

If the question was that simple…

“Yes.”

The word had barely left his mouth before Gaara reached up and pulled their faces together.

This kiss was different from the first. Where the previous evening was all hesitance and sweetness, there was a desperation behind this one – a heat coming from them both, creeping down their necks and filling the room.

One kissed turned into two, three, four… And Lee found his tongue creeping out to meet Gaara’s halfway.

[sineala]

Hi Sine! I find myself in possession of a very long plot (not going to count how many of those are in my inventory), and was hoping you'd share what program(s) you use for yours? I'm the sort who'd use a murder-wall with notecards but I don't have space rn. I *should* use tagging systems but all the ones available are so sketchy and unreliable that I lose focus just typing. Also I tried to search but. This is tumbs. Thanks - Shusu

Oh boy, this question was made for me!

The first novel-length story I wrote, I wrote in TextEdit. All 90,000 words of it. I basically just made a list of the scenes I wanted in the order I wanted them in, started typing the story above the list, and deleted every scene from the list when I had written it. I don't recommend this.

These days, I use Scapple and Scrivener. I have much more detail below. I am sure I have talked about them before but, as you say, Tumblr is hard to search.

Different things will work for different people, and I don't always start this way, but sometimes, while I'm still trying to rough out an idea, I start with a mind mapping program. You know that brainstorming technique that you learned in, like, third grade, where you take a piece of paper and you write down the main idea in the center in a bubble and then branch lines out from those with more bubbles containing related ideas, and then branch things out from those, and so on? You can get programs to do that instead of a big piece of paper, and the advantage to doing this on a computer is that your piece of paper can be infinitely large and you won't ever run out of space.

I will sometimes skip this step if I already know what order things are going to happen in (in that case, I just make an outline), but if it's the kind of unformed idea where I just want to write down everything that happens as I think of it so I won't forget it later, then I use a mind map.

I also use it to write down bits of dialogue as I think of them; the program I use lets me change fonts and colors and so on, so I have color-coded my dialogue by character:

I feel like I have probably posted this before but Tumblr is not letting me search. Also, this is probably not how you're supposed to use this, judging by how it exports data, but whatever.

There are a variety of programs that can help you make mind maps, and I'm sure a lot of them are good. The one I use is Scapple, which I like for a few reasons: it's very easy to use (you type something in, and then to connect two bubbles you drag one on top of the other) in a way that gives you a lot of freedom; it's not a subscription model like a lot of apps are (you buy it, you pay once, you can use it forever, and it costs about $20); and mostly, it's made by the developer of the writing program I use (Scrivener), meaning that the two programs integrate very well.

So then there's Scrivener.

Scrivener is probably the absolute most useful software I have ever owned; I have bought it four times now. (All three desktop versions and then the iOS version.) It is a word processor that is designed to help you structure and write novels. There are similar programs for free or at least cheaper, of course, but this is the one I use. (It also isn't a subscription; you just buy it.)

The downside is that it's a very complex program. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can look a little daunting. It's one of those programs that has hundreds of features and you will only use about fifty percent of them, but everyone uses a different fifty percent, so there's something for everyone. (It can generate character names! There's a feature on the Mac version where it can highlight words by part of speech! You can change all the icons! The LaTeX export is pretty decent!)

Honestly, as long as you can figure out how to make scenes, rearrange scenes, edit synopses, and get your work out of the program, you're good to go; that's probably what you'll be doing most of the time.

Scrivener is basically designed around the murder-wall-of-notecards writing approach. A Scrivener project contains your Draft, which can have a bunch of folders in it (chapters) which can have individual documents (scenes). Each scene has an index card associated with it, and each index card is where you can write a synopsis for each scene.

You can view your story as single scenes or as a whole story (optionally with a window showing the synopses, so you can remember what you thought was going to happen while you are writing; I have shown this above) or you can just view the synopses as an outline or as index cards, like so:

There's your murder wall right there.

Rearranging the index cards also rearranges the scenes. (Rearranging the scenes using the list in the sidebar also rearranges the scenes.) So if you want to swap scenes around, you can do that. If you want to write the end first, you can do that. If you want to add three more scenes in the middle, you can do that.

You can also search your whole project, color code the index cards, tag them however you want with keywords (e.g., a keyword for every character who appears in the scene) and then look at everything you've tagged with particular keywords, notate scenes by whether they're done or not, and basically everything else you can think of. Mostly I have used this to color code scenes by POV so I can keep track of who's talking; I could also have used keywords.

So my first move when I start a project in Scrivener is to make a bunch of blank documents for all the scenes I think I will have, give them some kind of meaningful title, start writing down on the notecards things that will happen in each scene, and then move them around. This is where Scapple comes in handy -- both because I already have an idea from making a mind map in Scapple of what scenes I want, and also because the integration between Scapple and Scrivener makes it really, really easy to get started.

How do Scapple and Scrivener integrate, you ask? If you make a mind map in Scapple, you can drag and drop it into Scrivener and it will automatically make one scene for every bubble you have, and the text of each bubble will be on the notecard, so you can basically start with all of your scenes that you already have made in Scapple and then reorder them as you like.

Scrivener projects also have a Research section, where you can store basically anything related to what you're working on; you can set it to show your draft and your research at the same time. Basically anything can go in here. Mine usually have notes, more notes, character information, lines I cut but wanted to save somewhere (there is also a versioning system built in if you prefer that), comics panels, reference pictures, and entire webpages. This way, you'll never have to figure out what you did with that thing you looked up for your story, because you can keep it right there with your story.

Scrivener costs $60, which is kind of a lot, but there are very often coupons for 50% off from online software retailers (I just saw one on Boing Boing a couple days ago that still works as of the time I am answering this; I can vouch that they are a legit retailer). Also if you know anyone who has won NaNoWriMo, they get a Scrivener coupon as part of their winnings, and some people don't use theirs. It has a thirty-day free trial period (IIRC that's 30 days of use, not 30 calendar days) so you can try it and see if it works for you.

I also made a Compile Format for Scrivener 3 -- the current version -- so I can export HTML suitable for AO3 or Dreamwidth in one click. Scrivener can export your work in basically any format you can think of, but the default HTML exports all have too much stuff in them for my liking.

(Scrivener also has a bunch of preset templates for various kinds of writing -- like, there's a Novel template with room for character sheets and settings and all of that. You can make your own template, too. I actually made my own template for writing fanfiction for AO3. I'm not sharing this one because it is so personalized to me that it wouldn't be useful -- but, for example, I already know that I'm going to want a document in my Research section where I list notes about canon, and one where I list what bits I need to edit, and one where I copy in any conversations I've had with beta readers that I might want to refer to, and one where I list the things that will be in the AO3 header (it contains empty spaces for Title, Fandom, Tags, Summary, etc) so I can now always start with that. You can make a template yourself by opening a new project, setting it up exactly the way you like with the Research documents exactly the way you want, and then doing File > Save as Template. It will copy everything including any text that's in there so you want to use something that doesn't already have any story or research content written in it because then that will get copied. But it's a real timesaver.)

Anyway. Scrivener is the best.

[ivarlover]

UNDENIABLE PART 2 (Sequel to UNLEASHED)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

This was supposed to be just a one-shot but the story has come alive for me and the need to write more can't be ignored. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 🔥

Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into what looked like a confusing situation in the light of day. What did it all mean to them now? What would happen with their friendship? Can they move forward as friends or has all been lost? Is friends to lovers even a possibility at this point?

Inspired by a naughty conversation with a friend of mine. 😍 (You know who you are).

Warnings: This chapter: Unfortunately, this chapter does have more heartache, but if you're still following, hang in there. There's still more to come and I promise, you won't be sad.

The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, heartbreak, and a bad case of the feels, and smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut 🤣

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

*LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ON OR OFF OF THE TAG LIST!*

Words: I don't know; there are many, many words 🤣

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The next few days were dark and lonely for Alex. Even with you by his side, he still felt empty and alone. He felt completely lost. Although he couldn't stop thinking about Ivar, he was determined to continue on. He had work and school to attend to, a big weekend event to get ready for, and didn't have time to dwell on things that almost happened, things that could have been. He tried to stay busy. It was hard.

As Thursday rolled around, you were there with Alex in the bar, putting the the final touches on the decorations for Saturday. To prevent the need to spend early Saturday morning working to get everything ready for the night, Alex had decided to close the bar Friday night. "Well, apparently, I have nobody to answer to so we'll get everything finished tonight and we won't have come at all tomorrow and we won't have to worry about it getting destroyed by tomorrow night's crowd," Alex told you. You didn't miss the pain in his voice but chose not to address it. You knew he'd talk to you if he needed to.

Still, your heart broke for him. You were truly lost as to what happened with Ivar. He'd completely ghosted Alex and you'd stopped trying to figure out why and had decided to just be there for your friend. Saturday would be here before you knew it and you wanted to offer all the help you could provide to Alex so it would be one less thing he'd have to stress about.

This after party for the couple's marriage was going to be big for business and you'd set out to make it as close to perfect as possible.

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"I can't believe this is really happening! We will get so much exposure tomorrow night. I have all the extra helpers in place and ready to work, too. Can you think of anything I've missed, Y/N?" Alex sat in the floor across from you as the two of you ate take out at his coffee table. "It's kind of nice not to be there on a Friday night. How is your food? Do you need anything else to drink?" He looked at your curious face, "Oh, I'm sorry, Y/N," he laughed. "I know I'm all over the place. I'm just excited and I've got a million things going through my mind all at once."

You laughed, "It's ok but maybe focus on one thing at a time. You're going to wear yourself out before tomorrow even gets here." You guys talked for what seemed like forever and you enjoyed seeing him in better spirits. These last two weeks had been rough.

Alex stood up, taking your plates. "Wait. I'll help," you told him, scrambling to get up, too.

"No, you find us a movie or something to watch. I'll take everything to the kitchen. Don't worry about it. Want a glass of wine?"

"Sure," and you got up on the sofa and turned the television on. As you began flipping through the channels, you thought you heard something outside. You muted the TV and listened and yes, there was someone at the door. Why hadn't they rang the doorbell? You called out to Alex but it sounded like he must have went to the bathroom.

Annoyed that whoever it was still hadn't knocked or anything, you got up and went to the door. Placing both hands, palms down, on the door, you stood in front of it and tiptoed to see through the peephole. "Holy fucking shit!" you softly gasped.

"Hey, I didn't know if you wanted red or white wine, so I just brought the glasses and both bottles. We can't be letting perfectly good wine go to waste, now can we?" Alex walked in from the other side of the room behind you and hadn't looked up to you yet. "So? Which will it be, Y/N?"

As Alex looked up at you, to his surprise, he saw you standing at the open door. There stood Ivar in the doorway looking at Alex like a lost puppy. "Can, umm," he swallowed loudly, "Can I come in?" Ivar asked. Completely shocked, Alex dropped both wine glasses, them shattering to the floor.

You tried not to laugh. "Umm, I'll be right back. I need to umm, make a phone call," you said as you left Ivar standing in the door, deciding to give them some time to talk. Alex just knodded at you, still completely dumbfounded.

Uncertain of himself, Ivar said, "I'm sorry to interrupt you guys. I, umm, I can come back." He took a step back, and Alex almost lunged at him but caught himself.

"No! I, umm, I mean, umm... Yes, Ivar, please come in."

Ivar's heart stopped. He'd actually expected Alex to let him leave. He came in and closed the door behind himself and stood there by it. "I'd offer you a drink, but umm, it seems I've just broken these two glasses. I'm not sure I trust myself with two more," Alex nervously laughed, bending down to pick up the pieces.

"Here, let me help you with that," Ivar rushed over to Alex and bent down to help him.

Their hands brushed up against eachother's and they both froze. Alex looked up at Ivar and Ivar stood back up. "What are we doing here, Ivar? I need some answers," Alex said as he stood up, too, just leaving the broken glass in the floor.

"Why, umm, why is the bar closed? I went to find you there," Ivar nervously asked.

"Remember that couple who are getting married and wanted a venue for their after party?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, they chose us. Their after party is tomorrow night, and rather than spend all day there tomorrow, preparing, decorating, and cleaning, we decided to just close it tonight," Alex explained to Ivar.

"We?" Ivar wasn't sure who Alex meant, and his heart kind of stopped again.

"Well, Y/N and I. She's been helping me out since, umm, well, since you have been missing in action." Alex braced himself for Ivar's reaction, not knowing, exactly, what it may be.

Ivar felt anger run through his veins. He hadn't came all the way over to Alex's to be made fun of. Maybe it had been a mistake to come over after all. His immediate reaction was to tell Alex to fuck off and to walk back out the door. That was until he looked into Alex's eyes and saw the pain. In fact, he could tell Alex was struggling to hold back his emotions. He wasn't sure if he was about to cry or scream but seeing the stress across his face completely calmed Ivar. The last thing he wanted to do was make this any worse.

Surprisingly, to Alex and Ivar both, Ivar grabbed Alex's hands in his, "Alex, umm, can we talk about that? Umm, I mean, can we talk about umm, us?"

Alex wasn't sure what to say. Hadn't he tried this already? "Umm, Ivar, that's well, that's what I've tried to do, and you are the one who just completely shut me out. Is there even an us to discuss? I'm not usually the type that likes to be involved after a certain point, Ivar, and honestly, I'm not so sure how much more of this I can take." He pulled his hands out of Ivar's and ran them through his own hair. "I mean, honestly, I'm just confused."

Feeling worried, Ivar motioned towards the sofa. "Can we sit?"

Alex walked over to it and sat down, not knowing what to expect. "Hear me out, Alex. This is a lot." Ivar sat down beside him and turned facing him. "You remember my brother, Hvitserk?"

Alex was confused. "Hvitserk? Yes, of course I remember him."

"Well, Alex, he and my mom have been at my place for the last two weeks. Hvitserk has an alcohol and drug problem. He has for a while, but he's been able to stay away from it. Apparently, some guys took advantage of his problem and got him drinking and convinced him to do a line of coke with them. He showed up at mom's completely out of it, saying he wanted me. She was going to admit him into rehab, but he said he'd kill himself if she did. He only wanted me. She called me and they've been at my place since that Monday after our," Ivar looked up at Alex, nervously, "Well, after our weekend."

Shocked to his core, Alex wasn't sure what to say, so he just said the first thing that came to mind. "So you avoided me because you were what? Embarrassed? Ashamed?" Alex felt his stomach knot up, and his heart completely stop.

"No! No, Alex. It has taken everything out of me to keep my brother in my house and not let him leave for drugs or alcohol. Not to mention keeping an eye on him to be sure he doesn't try to do something stupid to himself. He's been going through the worst withdrawals. I've had to be there with him, by his side, day and night. I've hardly slept at all. He's fought me every step of the way, but I couldn't leave him, and I definitely couldn't bring him with me to my work at the bar."

Alex interrupted him, "Ok. I get it, but no phone calls or text messages, Ivar? Something to clue me in on what was going on? Something to let me know that I wasn't just, umm, damn! Just another fuck for you, meaningless. Or fuck, was I?" Alex immediately felt embarrassed at his words. He dropped his head to his hands. He couldn't bear to look at Ivar. He wasn't sure he could handle Ivar's answer.

Ivar's heart sank. He'd been so wrapped up in everything going on in his world that he honestly hadn't stopped to think how Alex may have taken everything, how he might be feeling. He felt so guilty and selfish.

He gently grabbed Alex's hand and pulled it away from his face. Slowly, Alex looked up at him, eyes wet. Ivar wiped a tear off of his cheek. "No, God no, Alex. It wasn't meaningless.

Not by far. I meant everything I said to you that night." He felt a bead of sweat roll down his face. This was hard, harder than he'd expected.

His heart rate sped up, and he continued, "Umm, but it, umm, I didn't really have time to even process everything before all of this with Hvitserk was dropped in my lap. My mom called me every single time I left the house without them. She was so scared to be left alone with him. And I've told you how suffocating my mom can be and how she wants to control me. I was already exhausted, and I wasn't able to handle all the questions I knew she'd have for me. Especially when I, myself, still didn't know the answers yet. I wanted to call you. I think I was, umm, well, I guess I kind of freaked out. And then, when you didn't call me either, I thought maybe you regretted it. And umm, I was. Fuck. I was scared, Alex. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm truly sorry." He placed his hand on Alex's cheek and held it there.

Alex reached up and placed his hand over Ivar's. "I..I did call you, Ivar, and I was heartbroken when I heard some woman in the background calling you sweetheart." Alex choked on his words and held his breath to prevent himself from doing the ugly cry.

"Alex, fuck, that was my mom!" Ivar gasped, guilt sweeping all over him again.

Alex half-heartedly smiled and said, "Well, I know that. Now." For some reason, he still couldn't feel relieved yet. Yes, he was happy that he'd misunderstood everything but it didn't change how deeply hurt he had been because of it. "But last weekend? What happened? You seemed so, I don't know, so cold, distant. That's why I left. It hurt, Ivar."

Ivar explained that he'd come to talk then but saw him with you and felt jealous. "I, umm, I thought maybe you belonged with her, Alex, and maybe me being there was preventing you from true happiness with her. I, umm, I didn't want.. umm, to get in the way." He dropped his head.

How had both of them read everything so wrong? Was this because of the sensitive subject and how new and unexpected everything was to them both? Alex sat quietly, trying to wrap his head around everything. He was still a bit too nervous about everything but he had to admit how nice it was to have Ivar sitting here on his sofa with him.

Ivar interrupted Alex's train of thought, "Alex, I'm truly, truly sorry. I promise, I never wanted to hurt you or for you to feel used." He grabbed both of Alex's hands and held them in his. "Alex, can we..."

At that very moment, Alex's front door swung open. There stood Hvitserk in the doorway. He quickly scanned the room before entering. "Well, long time, no see, mother fucker!" Hvitserk said, walking toward the two of them on the sofa.

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Ivar practically yanked his hands away from Alex and straightened his body. Alex was kind of taken back by Ivar's sudden stiffness. Before he could say or do anything, Hvitserk stepped closer and said, "Humm, what kind of lover's quarrel have I just interrupted?" He leaned back, laughing, and said, "I'm just kidding, guys. Fuck! Chill!" He looked at the two of them closer, "Oh shit! I'm right, ain't I? Fuck, man! Shit, forget it. Stand up and give your big brother a hug, Alex. What's it been? Two? Three years?"

Alex stood and hugged Hvitsert. "It's, yes, it's been a while," Alex tried not to sound as nervous as he actually was.

"So," Hvitserk began, "What you got to eat, man? This mother fucker over here has had me in the car waiting on him so we can go for some food."

Alex laughed nervously as Ivar stared at Hvitserk like he had horns growing from his head. Hvitserk looked at Ivar, still sitting on the sofa. "What, man? Not my fault you're in trouble with your dude." He looked over to Alex. "What did he do? Need me to kick his ass for you?"

Alex gulped. He was completely shocked that Hvitserk had picked up on anything. He was upset that Hvitserk had interrupted such a tender moment but that was definitely Hvitserk for you. "Umm, I think there's some leftover pizza in the fridge. Some things never change, huh? Always hungry. Come with me."

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You had heard all the noise and stepped quietly out of the room to see what was going on. You recognized the panicked look across Alex's face immediately when your eyes met his, so you walked straight to them.

Hvitserk, being the guy he was, looked straight at you and said, "Umm, hungry? Yeah, but I think I'll have my dessert first. Hi, I'm Hvitserk. And who might you be?"

Ivar had came into the kitchen with you guys. "I'm sorry. Hvitserk, this is our friend, Y/N. Now, please leave her alone."

Hvitserk took a step back and looked around at the three of you and then back to Ivar. "Holy shit, man! Are you fucking them both?! Where the fuck do I sign up for this shit?" You dropped your head, blushing even more with embarrassment but you still smiled. "Fuck! What else have I missed since I've been gone? My fucking little brother got some game!"

Ivar smacked Hvitserk upside his head and put his arm around him and turned him toward the door, "See why my fucking brother doesn't need to drink? This is him sober!" He took a step with him, "I'm sorry, guys. We should go now."

"Wait," you stepped toward them, "Umm, he's not a bother. I can get his pizza, umm, so you and Alex can finish your, umm, conversation?" You couldn't help it. Obviously, the Lothbroks had damn good genes. Hvitserk was taller and a little thinner than Ivar but still muscular and gorgeous with his long hair and pretty blue eyes. You also loved the way he was looking at you, like he could strip you naked right there. And honestly, part of you wished he would.

Hvitserk instantly pulled away from Ivar and stepped toward you. "Yeah, you kids run and play. The two of us have adult business to discuss." Not taking his eyes off yours, he grabbed your hand. "The pizza doesn't happen to be located in the bedroom, does it?" he laughed. You felt your cheeks blush again. "It's incredibly attractive watching you blush. I could get used to this."

"Umm, let me get that pizza," you pulled your hand from his and went to the refrigerator.

Ivar and Alex looked at eachother and Ivar shrugged his shoulders, defeated. He waved Alex to come with him and the two of them went back to the living room together and sat back down on the sofa again. "He has done me that way my entire life," Ivar began, "But I guess Y/N has been the only one who I was actually with first," he laughed as he flashed his devilish smile at Alex, then added, "And I doubt, very seriously, he can do for her what the two of us did."

Blushing, Alex smacked him on the chest. "Ivar! Don't talk about Y/N like that! If he's a dog we should probably rescue her from him, though, no?"

"No, no. He's ok. He knows better than to hurt her. That's how he figured out everything so quickly, because I was protective of her," Ivar answered. A little louder, he continued, "He won't hurt her. I'll break his fucking neck if he does and he knows that."

From the kitchen, Hvitserk called, "Hey! I heard that!"

"Good, I fucking meant for you to, numb nuts!"

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"So," Ivar took a deep breath, "Where were we?" He gave Alex a warm smile.

Alex was surprised Ivar wanted to continue their conversation but still decided to give Ivar an out. "Umm, well, I just miss my best friend and want him back, Ivar. I just want things to be good with us again." He nervously looked to Ivar.

Ivar leaned closer to him and spoke softly, "That's just it, Alex. I think, umm, actually, I'm sure that umm, I want more than that. I mean, if you do."

Alex's mouth dropped. He was speechless. Just as he finally began to speak, "Ivar. Umm, I, uh," he grabbed Ivar's hand, "I," his doorbell rang. "Fuck!"

Looking back at Ivar, hating that they'd been interrupted yet again, Alex walked over and opened his door, "Umm, Mrs. Lothbrok!" Surprised, he turned back to Ivar. "Come in."

Alex heard Ivar sigh as he stood to meet his mother. "Did you two forget about me in the car?" She asked Ivar.

"No, mom. I was just waiting on Hvitserk. He's eating pizza." Ivar turned to Alex. "You remember Alex, don't you, mom?"

"Oh, yes. Of course. I'm sorry. Where are my manners? I'm sorry to have so rudely intruded," she smiled at Alex and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," he said, looking at Ivar's apologetic smile.

Hvitserk and you came from the kitchen, and he introduced you. "Mom, this is, well," he looked into your eyes and smiled, "My future girlfriend." You blushed again. What was it about this guy?

Aslaug looked you over in a very critical way but then hugged you, "Any friend of my boys' is a friend of mine. Nice to meet you, sweetheart." As she hugged you, all you could think about was how quickly everything had just changed.

Alex asked if he could get Aslaug anything to eat or drink and as she began to answer, Ivar interrupted her and nervously answered, "Um, no thanks, Alex. We should probably be leaving now."

Aslaug looked to Ivar, studying his face. "What am I missing here, dear?" She looked around at everyone. "Everyone seems to be on pins and needles."

"Nothing, mom. I just figured it's time for us to leave now, before we've worn out our welcome," Ivar was quick to answer her.

"Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like," Alex said, looking around at them, "Y/N and I didn't have any plans this evening."

"Oh?" Aslaug began, as she gave you that same critical look, "Y/N, do you live here with dear Alex?"

You were taken back by her elegance, but somehow, she still seemed to make you feel inadequate. Inadequate of what, you weren't quite sure. There was no way she knew anything had happened between the three of you, but she definitely had this way about her. You were honestly glad you weren't in Alex's shoes. He was going to have a difficult time measuring up to her expectations, especially since he's a man. But you just knew from watching Ivar with him that there was going to be something very serious between them. It was obvious, and maybe this was why Aslaug was acting this way. She had to notice it as well.

"Um, no ma'am," you answered her. "I'm just really good friends with Alex. And Ivar, too. I'm just visiting."

"Well, you need to come visit me back at Ivar's place," Hvitserk said and kissed you on the cheek. "There's the blush in your face that I adore so much," he grinned.

"Well," Aslaug smiled, "Aren't all the boys just smitten with you?"

"Mom! Enough!" Ivar stepped in front of you just as you were about to put this woman in her place. You didn't care whose mom she was.

Hvitserk was clearly thrilled at your obvious reaction, smiling from ear to ear at you. He walked to Aslaugh's side. "Well, it's been nice seeing you again, Alex, and definitely nice meeting you, Y/N. I'll be in touch. Mom, Ivar is right. Let's go." He draped his arm around her shoulder and turned toward the door, not giving her an opportunity to protest. He looked back and said, "Ivar, we'll meet you in the car. After you say your goodbyes, of course," as he winked at you. He is slick. He walked her out the door and closed it behind them.

"Damn! What the fuck was that about?" you asked.

"My mom is a little too observant for her own good. And she's obviously too nosy. I'm so sorry, guys. She's so overbearing." Ivar looked completely defeated.

"It's ok, Ivar. I remember her well. She's always been like that. She means well. She just loves you and wants what's best for you like any mom. But look, don't worry. You're completely off the hook here. You owe me nothing," Alex swallowed loudly.

Ivar looked confused, "But Alex, we're not done here."

"Yes, we are, Ivar. For now anyway. You have too much on your plate right now and I truly understand. Just. Just make sure you keep in touch with me, ok?" Alex was even surprised at his words himself, but he knew this was best for now. He didn't want Ivar to end up resenting him and he knew this situation had the very potential for just that. He could push his own feelings aside for now. He'd already done it this long. What was a little more time? He definitely had no plans of getting into a pissing contest with Aslaug.

As he stared blankly at Alex, Ivar was completely speechless. This was not how he'd seen this evening working out. He felt crushed and completely defeated, and if he was being honest, he was a little pissed off. How could Alex just act as if none of this was important? Was he seriously simply putting what he thought was Ivar's best interests above his own? "But, Alex?"

Alex stepped to Ivar and placed his hand on his cheek. He looked Ivar deeply in his eyes and softly spoke, "Don't worry, Ivar. This is not the end. Just go and take care of your family. They need you more than I do right now." Ivar's eyes began to tear up, but he quickly, angrily wiped them dry. Alex's heart lunged for him, but he stayed steady. "I promise it will be ok."

Ivar only knodded his head and he turned to the door, not saying a word. He walked out, never looking back.

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As soon as the door closed, Alex fell to the floor, his face in his hands. You rushed to him, wrapping your arms around him and holding him tightly as he began to cry. "What the fuck, Alex? What the hell is wrong with you? That man loves you! Can't you see that? Why did you send him away like that?" You were completely shocked and confused. He finally had his chance and he ended it before it even began.

He slowly lifted his head and looked at you. The pain in his eyes was almost too much for you to bear. "Y/N, you can't possibly know how he feels about me. And Hvitserk needs to be his priority right now. If we try this in the middle of him trying to help his brother get well, he'll resent me. I just know it. I'll add too much stress for him right now and you saw his mom. She will never give him a moment's rest about how he plans to give her grandchildren if I'm his choice. Nobody will ever be good enough for her boys but I definitely won't be. He doesn't need all of that right now. If it's meant to be, it will just have to wait. We shouldn't have to defend it straight out the gate." He dropped his head back down and sighed.

"But, Alex! You can't make that choice for him! He obviously thinks you're worth it. And so do I, damn it! And I'm sorry to break the news to you, but if you're going to be romantically involved with another man, you're, unfortunately, going to have to get used to defending your relationship with him. That sucks, I know, but society isn't there yet. They don't understand that you simply just love who you love."

"Well, it's done now. It'll be ok," he gulped. "It has to be."

You placed your arms around him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Alex." You knew this was serious for him, too. That was the most selfless thing you'd ever seen anyone do. You just hoped Ivar would see it, too.

@istorkyou @vero-maris-zamo @chapada010101010 @ivarhoegh @lostasalice-thisway @lonewolf471 @lemonsarepink @covidinducedsocialreject

[mermaidsirennikita]

In retrospect I feel like the Kennedy episode was a huge red flag about his impulses for over dramatization and a general lack of good judgment/taste. I find that episode hard to watch same as I do seasons 5&6.

Lol I remember when the Kennedy episode came out and some of my more obnoxious paler brethren across the Atlantic were all "this is what it feels like, Americans!!! To have your historical figures poorly portrayed by another country!!!"

And it's like well a) we already portray our historical figures inaccurately over here thx b) y'all already portray yours inaccurately over there c) lol I really didn't need an inaccurate Kennedy episode... I would've been down with JFK straight up trying to get Lizzie 2 into bed (though... and I gotta be real.... JFK fucked a lot of people................ but he would never). It wasn't the inaccuracies, it was how DUMB it was. And how incredibly off his impression of the Kennedys was, in a way you really don't need to research much to understand.

I remember thinking of how unbelievable it was that Jackie would apologize for shit talking Elizabeth. Because Jackie shit talked EVERYONE. And she did not apologize to ANYONE, including her own sister, because Jackie knew she was untouchable. Yes, her marriage was rough, in a word; yes, it made her sad that her husband cheated on her; but she wasn't this wilting flower who only said catty shit because she was sad. Jackie Kennedy, and I say this with respect, was an alpha bitch. She was beautiful; she was fashionable; she was blue-blooded; she spoke several languages and was educated and worked a room arguably better than her husband (and they both knew this); she had all his money and, imo, for all their troubles knew he was very unlikely to ever leave her, and also knew there was probably nobody who could give her the type of top dog position and heady success that he could. I mean. Aristotle Onassis had a hard time following JFK, and the man owned his own island.

And I remember being so weirded out by the way he chose to portray both JFK and RFK. Like, don't get me wrong, JFK took a lot of painkillers, but it wasn't like this was some guy on the edge who took them for a ride lmao (Jackie was more about that life, but she still largely had her shit together while in office). JFK had legitimately debilitating chronic pain lmao. Like, Peter, do you get that if you're taking something... for a condition you actually have.... it's not going to give you the same kind of experience as a recreational pill popping but whatever. JFK was considered something of a cold fish in private despite his libido, so the idea that he was just going crrrrrAAAAAZY in the background is insane.

Additionally, RFK was essentially JFK's fixer and a complete control freak, not a submissive force in that relationship at all--more supportive. It was very much a two for one administration. So that bugged me.

I'm not an expert, either, lol. I'm just someone who's gone through nerdy periods re: that family, and it seemed to me that Peter took the most boring cardboard approach that he saw as perhaps... sympathetic? Sad? With a dash of "the true story" and it's like. Honestly dude, go ahead and go in and portray those amoral rich people as amoral rich people living fast and dying young because that's literally what the Kennedys did.

[hildred-rex]

Hello, I love Hildred Castaigne! He’s such a fucked up unreliable narrator and he also reminds me so much of myself in middle school and I love him for it. What do you like about him?

First off, apologies for taking absolutely ages to answer this! Life happened and I promptly forgot tumblr existed for almost a month. Yay.

Anyhow, I think my love of Hildred is a combination of the factors you mentioned and the absolute state I got into shortly after I found The King in Yellow -- aaand here comes an essay. The last version of this got deleted, and apparently I've taken it upon myself to make its replacement even lengthier.

Hildred is a fascinating character to read and to write, and his opinions on things are (or would be) so different from mine that it's fun to try to puzzle them out. I keep a bevy of fictional characters that I can simulate reasonably well as a way to make myself consider how people get to opinions that differ from mine, and naturally he's among them.

Beyond that, I'm an absolute sucker for hints at a greater world, but only narrow viewpoints from which to try to figure out what's going on in that world.

The weird bits of The King in Yellow as a whole are superb at tantalizing you with smug allusions and tiny scraps of information about what, exactly, it is that the book is named for.

Is it a play? Is it an entity? What happened to the author? ...was the author Boris? (I don't think the author was Boris, but I won't lie that I've considered writing a fic where he was.)

I got hooked on Lovecraft for the same reason, and it's actually what put me on to Arthur Machen (favorite author) and The King in Yellow (favorite book).

Even with all that, I think my King in Yellow interest would have been a passing thing that returned occasionally, if it hadn't been the last thing I got into before my first set of high school final exams kicked my ass.

The tl;dr of freshman year is that I picked the wrong math class and it spent the semester wrecking my self-confidence (and my sleep schedule) before I finally managed to transfer to a better one. (Then I spent second semester picking myself back up.)

Hildred, notably, is self-confident to the point of it backfiring catastrophically on him. He absolutely should not have gloated to Louis, tactically speaking; in this essay I will-

Anyway. Stress is weird, so during finals season and its leadup I had quite a lot of unmarshalled energy that refused to work on what I actually needed it to do and that instead directed itself at my idle pokings at Hildred and his world.

Probably better than worrying about how my abysmal math grade was going to ruin my life.

It didn't, and I came out of the crucible with rather extensive additional worldbuilding. Since I essentially speedran getting invested in the project, I came away wanting to do more of it and... it just kind of stuck?

I mean, here we are several years later and my first impulse is still to name my tumblr blog for him. I've got a rough idea of his extended family back three generations. I have a design for that spring suit Hawberk had that was mentioned exactly once. I am the embodiment of

when it comes to this lol

_____

I couldn't find a good place to fit this in above, but Hildred was also the first time I encountered a story with an obviously intentional unreliable narrator after I'd encountered the term. Not sure how I missed it that long, lol. I spent probably half a decade looking askance at various authors and going "...do you know what you're writing there???"

I also couldn't integrate it anywhere, but I absolutely adore "The Mask." I have Thoughts on Chambers's ability to write romance more generally, the short version being that he writes Lovers™ and not characters and they're thus so wooden they're hard to read, but that he must have been in a position like the beginning of "The Mask" because holy god that is exactly how it feels.