#I'm sorry if this came off as aggressive I genuinely am
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Just read something saying that the moment of clarity route was """ karmic Justice """ and a part of my soul died a little.
#slay the princess#stp moment of clarity#she has spoken#I like moment of clarity now. I really do#It's no longer some messed up cycle of hate and pity#but the idea that ANYONE deserves hundreds of deaths sickens me#All while being slowly and carefully “moulded” into a docile husk#oh and said person being turned into a docile husk is the very concept of stagnation itself#which makes the entire process be even slower and painful#Also hot take: keeping the nightmare trapped is justified#The nightmare is more than just a desperate woman#lashing out at the only creature she ever knew for abandoning her like in chapter 1#She openly admits to wanting to turn the world into a horrid place#and one point can say she wants to “do a little unwinding herself”#but all she knows is how to hurt and she wants a friend!#yeah as if the long quiet somehow knew that while his organs were rapidly dying#I'm sorry if this came off as aggressive I genuinely am#That one comment just struck a very deep chord for me
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Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VII
*inhales aggressively* VESSEL CHAPTER!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! Reader has a talk with the boys about what exactly happened with the night's kissing incident, after so much time of him being a bit distant towards reader Vessel decides to let his softer side show, plus more moments with III because I'm in love with him and I can't help myself sorry not sorry hehe I can't wait to know what you all think of this chapter thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments. If you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!
WARNINGS: discussion of boundaries, proposals of a polyamorous relationship (I tried my best to make it realistic but I, myself, am not polyamorous), fluffy stuff per usual. NOT PROOFREAD
My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!
Part VI - Part VIII
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The sight before you almost made you want to laugh. The four grown men that sat in various seats around your living room almost resembled a group of school kids waiting anxiously outside the principal's office. “I’m sorry.” III was the first of them to speak up.
“No, if anything I should be the one apologizing.” II quickly follows, both of them unable to even look in your direction.
“I’m not upset at either of you, I’m just… confused.” You respond softly.
“It started off as simple crushes; me, IV, III, Ves.” You noticed Vessel’s shoulder tense as he was dragged into this conversation as well. “We all think you’re beautiful-”
“And very sweet.” III adds on. You can’t help the subtle smile that finds its way to your lips at their compliments.
“We could tell things had gotten a little more serious between you and III so we all decided to back off. But, I can’t lie to you,” II chuckled, “I’m a very jealous man. So when someone tries to keep me from what I want I don’t typically respond the best.”
“And I don’t feel right asking you to commit solely to me when you clearly have feelings for II, as well.” III adds his piece. You found it odd, there was no anger in his voice at the thought of you with his friend. “I guess what we’re trying to say is, um…” he trails off, looking to II as he searches for the right words to say.
“How would you feel about dating all of us?” Vessel breaks the thick tension with his blunt question. You felt like all of the air had been punched from your lungs, your heart jumping into your throat as your head snapped in his direction.
“Vessel, you can’t phrase it like that!” IV groans from his spot on your couch, dropping his head into his hand.
“What? She's a big girl, you don't need to beat around the bush.”
“Dating… dating all of you?” You finally mutter after a few moments of shocked silence.
“Obviously only if you're comfortable with that.” III stands from his seat, slowly stepping closer to you. “You don't have to say yes to any of this. It doesn't matter if you want to date only me, or if you would be okay dating all of us. Hell, after dropping this on you, there's a chance you might not want to see any of us ever again.” You didn't miss the nervousness that laced its way into his laughter. III was genuinely scared that this was going to fully push you away. “But, it's about what you want, that's the important part.”
“And you're all okay with this?” You would be lying if you tried to say you didn't find the offer very appealing. Every member of the group that sat before you drew you to them in one way or another, they were definitely an attractive bunch to put it lightly; III with his subtle intensity, who was always making you laugh, II who would turn you into a flustered mess with his sweet words, IV who’s easily excitable nature and blind confidence when it came to complimenting you made your heart thrum in your chest, Vessel who lets his hand linger on your waist as he maneuvers around you doing restock days, who holds your gaze for perhaps a little longer than necessary when wishing you goodbye at night. But, could you really handle four relationships?
“The way we see it, we’d rather share you with others who we know are going to take good care of you than to be forced to hold our tongues about how we feel about you.” II explains.
“I…” you trail off as you look between the four of them. “I need some time to think.” Your voice shook slightly as you spoke.
“Of course.” Vessel responds. Without another word II, III, and IV stood, quietly said their goodbyes to you and left your apartment. Vessel hung back for a moment, waiting for III to fully shut the door behind him before breathing out a sigh. “I'm sorry that all of this happened the way it did. I kept telling them to wait to bring it up.” His gaze drops to you, who was silently fidgeting with your fingers as you leaned against the wall.
“I can always tell them to back off, love.”
“No, you don't have to do that.” You brush him off. “It's nothing to do with any of you, you're all incredible. It's just- it's me, that's what the problem is.” You tried to force a laugh to prove to Vessel that you were fine, his unchanging expression let you know immediately that he saw right through you. “You're all so wonderful, and the fact that you would be willing to make such a huge compromise.” You stare through the slits of his mask, believing you were meeting his eyes. “What if it's not worth it?”
You didn't have time to register what was happening before Vessel was in front of you, pulling you into a warm embrace.
“I know I might not be as… prominent with my acts of affection as the others.” He pulls back slightly, one large hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as your eyes instinctively rise to look at him. “But, considering II put things out in the open, I need you to know that I care for you viscerally.” The soft growl that found its way into his voice made your cheeks grow warm. “I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you don't want, but I need you to understand that there has not been a single moment since I met you that would make me think any of this wasn't worth it.” You blink slowly as a hand comes to rest on the top of your head, comfortingly patting the spot. “Would it be alright if I came and checked in tomorrow?” You nod, reluctantly letting your hands fall away from their position pressed against his chest as he stepped back, his warmth fading away with it.
“Goodnight, Ves.” Your voice cracked slightly as you tried to keep your overwhelming emotions in check.
“Goodnight love, rest well.”
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You watched the second hand on the clock tick, bringing you closer to when Vessel would usually make his nightly supply runs. You hadn’t managed to sleep at all the night prior, tossing and turning as you played through every scenario you could think of as you made your decision. At the sight of the familiar pick up truck rumbling into the lot you felt your heart race. “This is it.” You muttered out loud to the empty store. “No going back now.” He poked his head through the door before fully entering.
“You still open?” He offers you a playful smile.
“No, but for you I'll make an exception.” You giggle in response. He slowly steps inside and approaches the counter.
“How’d thinking on things go?” He rests his elbows on the counter, bringing him closer to face level with you.
You set a hand down on the counter, Vessel cautiously reaching out to take it in his own. He hesitates for a moment, his hand drawing back slightly as if he was preparing to pull away. His fingers were rough against the soft skin of your hand when he finally decided to take his, his thumb running languidly across the peaks and valleys of your knuckles as he waited patiently for your response. “I want to take things slow… but the thought of having all of you to myself is a little too good to pass up.” He breathes out a chuckle, flashing you a sharp smirk that makes your breath catch in your throat.
“Is that so?” He mulls over how to respond to your statement for a moment. “How about I make us dinner and we can sit down and talk about how slow you want to take things, just so we can make sure everyone is on the same page.”
“You want to cook me dinner?” You shoot him a playful smile. “Is it going to be edible?” He bellows out a laugh in response.
“You're funny, you know I've been told I'm a wonderful cook.” He points an accusatory finger at you, standing up to collect what ingredients he needed from around the store. “Just you wait and see, this is going to be the best damn meal you've ever eaten.”
The whole thing was a bit strange in the best way. If he hasn't told you so directly you would've sworn that Vessel thought of you as little more than an acquaintance. But now, you were sitting on your kitchen counter, a glass of white wine swirling around in your hand, rolling your eyes playfully at all of Vessel’s terrible jokes as he made the two of you dinner. He asks you where you keep your plates, you easily reach into the cabinet behind you and produce a pair, holding them out to him with a soft smile. He carefully plates the pasta he made, penne with bacon and spinach and some type of cream sauce he had pulled together with odds and ends from your pantry. “It smells incredible.” He saunters in front of you, trapping you on the counter by placing a hand on either side of your waist.
“And here you were questioning my culinary skills.” He feigns a hurt tone before a soft chuckle rumbles from his chest. “Come on beautiful, let's go eat.” He pulls away from you, your body trailing after his warmth. You pad your way into the living room, Vessel close behind as he carries your plate for you. You sat close together on the couch, angling yourself to better face him. “So, define slow.” He jumps in immediately.
“Let me at least get a couple bites in.” Vessel can't help but smile at your teasing tone. “I just… I don’t know. This is all so different I don't think I can really tell you what going slow even means.”
“Well, I can assure you that all of us care a lot about how you feel during all of this.”
“And I know that.”
“I think you're worried about more than just taking things slow, love. What's on your mind?” The softness to his tone immediately lulled your anxious mind into a sense of safety.
“I'm worried about things developing quicker in certain relationships than others, I just don't want that to cause any of you to fight.” You absentmindedly twisted your fork around in your fingers, studying it as you tried to put into words what was racing through your mind.
“That might happen, but if it does it's alright. Unfortunately that's just something we have to deal with.” He chuckles. “There's no doubt in my mind that you would be more comfortable moving a bit quicker with III than you would with me, he started flirting with you from the start. We all know that you're in various stages of getting to know us, we're more than willing to give you time to figure all of that out.” Hearing him being so reassuring made the heaviness weighing in your chest lighten considerably. “Is there anything else I can do to ease that pretty little head of yours?” You slowly shake your head no before pausing. You looked at the man before you, swallowing thickly as you mulled over an idea. Vessel was an enigma to you even after months of knowing him. He was aloof, quiet, but the few rare instances he let part of his personality break through you could tell just how wonderful he could really be.
“Dance with me?” The question hung in the air for a moment before Vessel wordlessly rose to his feet.
“I will warn you, I'm not much of a dancer.” He chuckles, outstretching his hand for you to take. His palm was warm against your fingertips; the smudged edges of his paint were a stark contrast to the pale skin underneath.
“What a shame, neither am I.” You giggle in response before he pulls you to your feet. He looks around the room, making a small sound of affirmation to himself before pushing your coffee table out of the way to open up the space. You walked over to a bookshelf in the corner of the room, clicking on your radio and letting the soft tune crackle to life. Vessel stood in the center of the room, hands shoved into his pockets as he waited for your return, a soft smile settling onto his lips.
“You look really beautiful today.” He says softly, one strong arm reaching out for you and wrapping around your waist when you were within reach. Your fingers intertwine with his, Vessel watching carefully as each delicate digit slotted between his own. Your cheeks grow warm as you timidly accept the compliment. You had never been this close to Vessel before, feeling the way his muscles tensed and shifted under the hand that rested on his shoulder sent a shiver down your spine. You were unable to tear your eyes away from him, the intricate detailing along the edge of his mask highlighting how wide and bright his smile was as he gazed down at your flustered form. The music you had turned on was non existent at this point, the only thing mattering at this point in time was Vessel finally allowing you the briefest glimpse inside his walls. You managed to trip over your own feet, yelping slightly as you stumbled into him. “Easy now, I got you.” He chuckles, helping to steady you on your feet. “If you're going to faint at least wait until I kiss you for the first time.” He jokes
“Already thinking about kissing me, huh?” You smile coyly
“It'd be hard not to with a pretty face like that.” You let out a flustered laugh, your eyes dropping to the floor. You jumped when there was a sudden knock on the door. You reluctantly pull out of Vessel’s grasp, his fingers trailing across your waist as he tries to remain connected to you until the last possible moment. You slowly open the door, not knowing who to expect on the other side so late. You froze when your eyes landed on III, who was nervously swaying his heels on the creaky wooden landing outside. The moment he realized you had answered he immediately began to ramble.
“I'm sorry, I know you said you needed time to think and I absolutely respect that. I just, I know we kissed, and if you decide you don't want to go through with this I don't want it to make things weird-”
“III.” His mouth snaps shut as you softly say his name. You look back into your living room, Vessel’s head rested in his hand, he seemed mildly annoyed to be interrupted. Not knowing how to respond, you simply pushed the door wide open, III’s attention immediately drawn to Vessel. “We were actually just talking about that.” His eyes widen slightly, his gaze switching between you and his friend.
“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-”
“I was just leaving, actually.” Your brows furrowed in confusion. You turn to face him as he walks up to you. He cradles your face in his hand, “tonight was wonderful, I hope we get to do this again soon.” He swipes his thumb across your cheek, leaving a thin black streak in its wake. “Goodnight, love.”
“Goodnight, Ves.” You respond breathlessly. You turn to face III, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before reaching out and taking his hand, tugging him inside your apartment. His eyes stay locked on you as he follows you through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. “I really enjoyed, um… kissing you last night was really nice.” You let out a flustered laugh. “I don’t want you to worry that you made things weird.”
He chuckles, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He stuffs his hand in his pockets, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I hope that talk you guys were having was a good one.”
“I think you’ll be very satisfied with the outcome.” You giggle. He gazes at you curiously, the usual playful sparkle back in his eyes when he realized he hadn’t scared you off.
“Is that so?” He saunters closer to you, his towering height and intense gaze threatening to make your knees buckle. “You let me know if any of this is moving too fast, okay?” He says sweetly, gently cupping your jaw.
“Okay.” You smile up at him. He trails his thumb over your bottom lip, his bright blue eyes darting around your features as he drank in the sight of you.
“You are simply gorgeous, love.” He whispers after a moment of silence.
“You flatter me too much.” Both hands slide around your waist, gently pulling you flush against him.
“I'm only telling my girl the truth.” He smiles. Your eyes flash up to meet his, the declaration of being his girl making your heart flutter in your chest. “Well, it seems like we have the night to ourselves. What would you like to do?” Wordlessly you take one of the hands that had settled against the curve of your hip, guiding him towards your couch. You threw on a movie, something mindless that you didn't need to pay attention to. Tonight was about spending time with III. No distractions, no hidden feelings, just you and someone who made you feel like a girl experiencing her first crush all over again. III takes you in his arms, laying back and pulling you on top of him in the process. One arm resting comfortably behind his head, the other slung over your waist as the two of you cuddled in a comfortable silence. “You know, I was really worried all of this would make you never speak to me again.” He speaks up after a while through a quiet chuckle.
“I was definitely a bit nervous about the idea, still kind of am if I'm being honest.” You laugh softly, absentmindedly tracing shapes against the soft material of his sweatshirt on his chest. “But, none of you have given me any reason not to trust you, so despite being nervous I feel like this is the right choice.”
“How you feel about this is very important to me, okay? If there's ever anything I can do for you love, just let me know.” He rubs his hand soothingly up and down your back, keeping you pressed close to him almost as if he was scared if he let you go you'd disappear. The two of you stayed up talking late into the night; you learned that III is more of a cat person than a dog person, his favorite color is red, and he would willingly disappear into the woods without a trace if it meant never folding laundry again. “It's such a dumb concept, I'm going to put the damn clothes on anyways. Why do they have to be folded and put away?” You hid your face against his shoulder, trying to hide the fact you had tears forming in your eyes from laughing so hard. You look up at him with a bright smile, the tangent dying in his throat as his eyes meet yours. He slowly sits himself up on his elbows, your body responding as it gradually slid into his lap. One of his hands pressed into the small of your back, keeping you held as close to him as possible, the other moving to cup your cheek.
“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since last night.” You admit in a tone barely above a whisper.
“Trust me, I wasn't doing much better.” He chuckles, his gaze briefly flashing down to your lips. “Everything about you… everything about you is just so perfect, and for the life of me I can't figure out why you give me the time of day.”
“Because you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.” Your voice shook as you spoke, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears and you were nearly positive that III could hear it too.
“Because you are the only girl in the world for me.” He admits without a second thought. “I haven't been able to get last night out of my head. Of course I want to kiss you again, but this time I want to kiss you and mean it.” Trembling fingers rose to the edge of his mask, glancing up at him through your lashes asking for silent permission to raise his mask enough to kiss him. He nods, studying your nervous expression as you gently took the edge of the fabric and raised it to just below his nose. Your breath was snatched from your lungs as III crushed his lips against yours, your mind immediately swimming in the overwhelming sensation that was him. His lips subtly sweet as he eased your mouth open, his tongue carefully caressing yours, making sure to take things at a bear agonizing pace in order for you to be able to back away at any time. Your hands slid up his torso, III shivered under your delicate touch. You felt lightheaded as the kiss took over your senses; the euphoric feeling of his warm lips against yours, the deep, earthy smell of his cologne, his massive hand kneading at the softness of your hip. You both pulled away equally breathless, your hands coming up to his mask in order to readjust it into place before he had a chance to.
“I think you definitely meant it this time.” You giggle, your forehead falling to rest against his.
“There's going to be plenty more where that came from.” He winks playfully at you.
III decided to leave you for the night when you could barely keep your head up anymore. He scoops you up in his arms. You grumble in annoyance despite the fact you immediately begin to nuzzle your face against his chest. “Where are we going?” You ask through a yawn.
“I’m taking you to bed sweetheart, you need to rest.” He chuckles.
“-’m not tired.” You try to protest, your actions only make him laugh again before he presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Says the woman who can’t keep her eyes open.” You could hear his smile in his voice.
“I don’t want you to leave.” You admit softly.
“I know love, but you have a store to run, I’m afraid I’ve kept you up more than I already meant to.” He carefully maneuvers himself so he’s holding you in one arm, pulling back your blankets with his now free hand. He lays you gently into bed, his knuckles trailing across your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His head dips down, allowing you to share one more chaste kiss before he left you to fall into a dreamless sleep.
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With Friends Like These
Fizz awoke with a yawn, the man giving an a huge stretch, limbs shooting out as he turned over.
"Morning ba-" He paused mid morning greeting, the Imp finding himself alone in Asmodeus' massive bed.
Sitting up, the Imp looked about, wondering where his big blue and purple lover had run off too.
"FUCKING HELL!"
He jumped, hearing Ozzie's distinct voice scream from the other room.
The Imp, after a moment, got up, zipping off to find Ozzie in his office, the man rather aggressively growling into his phone.
"Do you know who the FUCK I am!?"
The Imp, not wanting to approach him empty handed, quickly zipped off, snatching up some coffee before he zipped into the Office.
"MoOorning Babe~" He purred, presenting him with Coffee. "Some asshole giving you trouble?"
Ozzie, seeing his love zip into the room, sighed, rubbing his face.
"Hey baby." He greeted, his tone clearly wary. "I didn't uh, wake you did I?" He asked, the Sin genuinely concerned.
Fizz smiled, zipping up to kiss the man's cheek.
"Nah babe, I was already awake." He assured, sipping his coffee. "Is... everything alright babe?" He asked, giving the mess of papers on his desk a glance.
Ozzie sighed, rubbing his face.
"Yeah Froggy, I'm alright." He sighed, the man rubbing his brow as she stared at a piece of paper.
"What's up?" Fizz asked, the man releasing a frustrated sigh.
Ozzie sighed, rubbing his face. "I've got a dozen orders for materials on five rings that are over due and I'm struggling to contact each supplier to make sure the shipments are actually handled."
Ozzie grumbled, scribbling something on a page.
"Don't ya have someone for that?" Fizz asked absent-mindedly, guzzling coffee.
Ozzie sighed, rubbing his face. "Yeah... I did." The man told him sombrely, rubbing his face.
Fizzarolli cringed, rubbing his neck. "Ooooh. sorry babe, didn't mean too..."
Ozzie chuckled, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
"It's cool babe, but, well..." He sighed, gripping him in his massive hand, kissing the man's cheek.
Fizz cringed, remembering the night before, standing there for a minute, glancing at the stacks of paper before him.
"... Ozzie, can you tell me about Niko, what was he like?" He asked, looking at him from the corner of his eye.
Ozzie, pausing his scribbles, froze, the man putting down his pen.
Sitting back in his massive chair, the man sighed, rubbing his face.
"Well... In a lot of ways, he was like you."
That instantly caught his attention, the Imp staring at the Sin.
"When I first met him, I was... Different." He hummed, looking over his office "I was a lot more arrogant back then. Bold, as i liked to call myself, but really i was just an ass."
They both chared a giggle. "Back in the day, I thought I was the king of all Sins, minus Luficer, who ya know is the king of all Sins."
He finished almost playfully, resting on an elbow, fizz sat on his desk.
Fizz smiled, seeing how open his lover was, and not in the lewd way.
"... Niko... where should I begin on Niko?" Ozzie hummed, rubbing his chin. "Well, I first met him in the RnD division."
"I had a whole department dedicated to developing toys and such, that was back when toys were booming."
"Lot of good ideas came out back then, i thought mine were amongst them, but well, let's say I had ideas that didn't always work out." He shuckled, sighing softly. "Not that I'd admit as much."
He chuckled, looking to the side.
"I can remember it like it was yesterday. I came waltzing into the office, proudly calling to RnD with my latest crazy idea." He hummed, staring off in the air. "And back then they chose what project they'd do, so I was just waiting for someone to jump at the chance to work on my miracle toy."
The sin chuckled sloftly, sighing as though in a fond memory. "But nobody stepped forwards... Nobody was stupid enough to try the impossible and risk failing me."
"All except some little Imp. Barely a teen, and yet he took on a job nobody else would. And did so with gusto."
Ozzie spoke warmly, leaning on a forearm.
"He stepped up, and in less then 48 hours, the man had a working prototype of a product that should have been impossible."
He hummed, glancing at a small statuette of Himself holding a large Heart shaped sex toy, the exact dimensions better left off of Tumblr.
"He had to make quite a few adjustments, yet he presented me with exactly what I wanted." He smiled warmly, glancing at Fizz, reaching out to scratch the base of his jesters hat.
"I've had a lot of assistants over the millenia." He chuckled, humming as he twirled his finger over the man's jester hat. "But Niko? Niko was... he was something else."
Fizz watched the man, noting how warm the man's smile was, the Sin resting on an elbow as he seemed lost in thought.
"Hell has always been ahead of the curve, ya know. It helps when we've got powerful magic and all the smartest sinner end up down here."
"And yeah, I was on the curb, but Niko... He was ahead of the curb."
He hummed, smiling softly as he picked up the Imp, holding him to his massive chest.
"He showed me the potential of automation, not to say I didn't have an interest. But Niko man, Hell, half of the factory was designed by him." he smiled softly, humming as he glanced to the side, seeing a 1:1 scale model of the tower.
"Man showed me the real results of automation, and trust me, there were results. Hell, most toys were made by hand before, Niko practically pioneering the factory line on Lust." He hummed, holding Fizz close.
"I was always interested in the newest tech, tinkering and making it work to my will, but with Niko's help, I brought production up to the modern age." He hummed, holding the man close.
". . . Niko meant a lot to you, didn't he?" Fizz asked softly, looking up the man, thinking over the interaction he last had with the man.
Ozzie didn't say anything for a long time before the man sighed, leaning forwards and kissing the man's head.
"Yeah... Niko was a damn good friend, and an even better assistant."
He sighed, rubbing his face.
Fizz sat there for a moment, rubbing his face.
". . . I'm sorry." Fizz sighed, holding himself close, the Imp feeling guilty that he'd inadvertently caused their break up.
"Oh baby." Ozzie cooed, spinning him around holding him up to his massive face.
"Fizzy, baby, I don't regret what I said for a second. I love you baby, your my world." He cooed, kissing the Imp, rubbing a thumb to the Imps squishy cheek. "I don't regret what I did for a second. Not a second Fizz. You mean the world to me."
He sat there for a minute, looking to the side.
"I just... I just wish I'd handled the situation with Niko better." He sighed, nursling his Jester Imp lover. "Niko... he deserved better then... then what I said."
An awkward energy hung in the air as the two sat in silence, Ozzie holding the Imp close as he slumped back in his chair.
Fizz sat there for a minute, before silently sighing, the Imp leaning up, giving the Imp a passionate kiss.
"Keep it up babe, I know you can figure it out." He hummed zipping out of his grasp, sure to plant an extra kiss to his cheek as he zipped out of the room.
---
Fizz had to call in several favours, paying off one of his Ozzie men to find Niko's residents, the Imp finding his home in one of Lusts more influential districts.
After a brief Limo ride, telling Ozzie he was off to but something, he found himself in an impressive residentiql building, knocking on a door with a prominent 69 on the door.
There was silence for a while before he knocked again, this time getting some grumbling quickly followed by yelling from the other side of the door.
Niko slid the door open, several chains keeping it secure as he glanced through the gap.
He looked tired, bags beneath his eyes as the Imp stared at the man for several moments, the Imp glaring at him, his breath reeking of alcohol before slamming the door.
The sounds of several locks being undone ringing through the door before he finally opened the door.
Niko stood in the doorway, holding it open as he tiredly held the door open.
"What do you want?" He asked coldly, shielding his eyes as he walked in, Niko quickly walking over and slumping onto his couch.
Fizz took a minute to inspect his apartment.
Inspecting the various artworks, he found most, if not all involved Asmodeus in some regard, the most prominent being a painting of the man in a rather suggestive pose across the penthouses largest wall, seemingly blowing a kiss to the viewer.
Niko, slumped on his massive couch, the thing looking like it came straight out of Ozzie penthouse, hummed, rubbing his face.
Fizz fixed his collar, scratching his cheek as they sat across from each other.
Fizz hummed, glancing around the surprisingly humble penthouse.
". . . Come back." Fizz spoke softly, the man not looking the Imp in the eyes.
There was a long moment of Silence before Niko asked coldly.
"What the Hell did you just say?"
Fizz sat there for a moment before sighing softly.
"Look, I get you feel abandoned, but Ozzie, He... Ozzie, he misses you." He spoke softly, reaching out to the Imp, resting a hand on his knee. "He needs you." Fizz spoke softly.
Niko stared at him for a long time before looking away.
"No. He doesn't." He spoke shortly, the man looking to the side. Niko clenching his jaw. "He has you after all. That's all he needs."
Fizzarolli stared at him for several moments before sighing.
"Look, I get it. Your hurt. You feel abandoned. I know..." Fizz rubbed his robotic limb, sighing softly to himself as he felt the metalic limbs. "I know what it is to feel abandoned."
"But Ozzie didn't abandon you Niko." He tried to assure him, Niko showing no reaction as he leaned towards him. "He... He fucked up, i know. But he misses you Niko. He honestly does. He might not say it in so many words, but I know the man, and he regrets what happened that night."
Fizz leaned forwards, sighing softly.
"I've been where you are right now. You need to tell him how you feel or you'll regret it for the rest of your life!"
Niko sat there for a long time, not saying anything, before releasing a deep sigh.
"Look, Fizz-" he quickly cleared his throat. "Fizzarolli. It's nice your trying to help and all that, but well."
He reached over, grabbing a bottle, grumbling as he realises it was empty.
"Put simply, this ain't your call." He sighed, tossing the empty bottle aside. "And I don't need help from a Fucking clown."
Fizz stared at him for a long minute before standing up.
"Your right. It wasn't my call." Fizz hummed, looking at the man.
"... 'wasn't?" Niko asked, looking up at the man.
"Yes. Because now, I'm making it my call."
Leaning over the coffee table, he knocked the bottles to the side, looking at the man.
"I'm giving you a week. 7 days Niko. Then I'm telling Ozzie how you feel. And while you may be able to hide from me, Ozzie won't let you off so easy."
The man stood up, turning and walking away, stopping at the door for a moment, turning to look at him. "1 week Niko."
Niko fumbled over himself, tripping on a bottle as he tried to stop him.
Fizz just shutting the door, heading back to Ozzie.
---
Fizzarolli had no intention of telling Ozzie the truth, not really. The Imp just wanting to see the man act on his emotions, instead of waiting for outside forced to force his hand.
But the mote he thought about it, he realised he was those outside forces, the Imp wondering if he was any better then Mammon.
He felt guilty of course, almsot ashamed of forcing his hand, the clown honestly considering calling it off several times, though every time he saw his beloveds gloomy expression, no doubt lingering on thoughts of Niko, his resolve was reinvigorated.
He honestly fully expected the Imp to call his bluff, Niko seemed the sort to dig in his feet and Fizz didnt have the resolve to fully hold out, expecting his plan to fall through.
So when Niko showed up one busy morning, the man walking into Ozzie's office like he owned the place, dressed in a more casual attire, Fizz was over the moon.
The man shared a cold glare with the Imp, Niko clearly unimpressed with the man, before walking up to Ozzie's desk.
It took a moment for the Sin to realise he was there, Ozzie's eyes bulging, the Sin jumping up as he realised Niko was present.
"Niko!" He practically cheered, the man all smiles as he steps around the table. "It's so good to see you! What do I owe the pleasure?"
Niko breathed deep before sighing, the man looking away from the man.
"I figured I'd hand this off." He spoke curtly, holding out a notebook. Ozzie's expression dimmed as he reached out, taking the notebook.
"What's this?" He asked, clearly disappointed by the revelation.
Niko swallowed the lump in his throat, the Imp not meeting the sin's gaze.
"It's an itemised list. Names and locations of every supplier and their resources in the 7 rings. Figured you could use it." He finished curtly.
A silence hung in the air for several moments, Ozzie anxiously stepping about as he stared down at the Imp.
"Is... Is that all?" He asked, hope bleeding through in the question.
Niko opened his mouth, Fizz leaning in, hopeful, expecting him to say something. Hoping he'd say it. Damn, he'd be happy if he said anything.
But instead he just turned away, shaking his head. "This was a mistake." The man quickly turning, storming off.
Fizz immediately shot into action, the man zipping up to the man, landing besides him.
"Wait Niko, please!" He gripped his arms, pleading with him. "You can do this!"
Niko, doing his best to hold in his emotions, biting his lower lip. "This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here."
He growled, emotions seeping into his voice.
"Come on, you can tell him." He tried to assure, doing his best to be supportive.
"I don't have to tell him shit!" Niko snapped back, slapping his hands away.
"Tell me what?" Ozzie's voice suddenly cut in, the both of them freezing in place.
Niko went rigid, eyes wide in fear.
"Nothing." He spoke up after several tense moments. "It's nothing Asmodeus, I was just-"
"Stop that!" Ozzie snapped, man suddenly breathing heavy.
Niko, froze, the Imp looking towards the sin.
"Stop acting like everything we've been through, our friendship, means nothing..." The Sin spoke, emotions suddenly thick in his voice. "Your my friend Niko. Probably my best friend. I've considered you it for a long time... please don't act like none of that matters."
Fizz would look to the man, sad to see his beloved so upset, but turning back to Niko, he'd be taken off guard as anger quickly flared.
"Like none of it matters!?" He snarled, looking up to the man for the first time.
"LIKE IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER!?!?!?!" He yowled.
"I'm not the one who said you don't matter!" He yelled, turning to the man. "I'm not the one who chose soem fucking IMP over you! Now am I!?"
He was angry.
In fact, Niko could barely think he was so angry.
"NO! You abandoned everything we did!" He yelled, throat restricting, eyes burning as tears formed. "You abandoned ME!"
He stood there, panting hard as tears grew in his eyes, the man taking a shuddering breath.
"You abandoned me." He spoke, barely keeping it together. "You meant everything to me."
Hot tears were already streaming down his face, the man barely keeping it together.
"I would have done anything for you. I worshipped you. FUCK, I loved you!!!"
He cried, a sob racking his form.
"... I loved you..."
He held his face, sobbing into his hands for several minutes.
"I... I had no idea." Ozzie spoke up after several minutes.
"Yeah, I know!" Niko snapped. "I know you didn't know cause I told you years ago I loved 'somebody'. Said I was over the moon for him, practically fucking described you to a T, and you know what you told me?! You told me that shit didn't fly on Lust. So yeah, that killed any illusions I ever had I could end up with you."
"And ya know the worse part!? I didn't care!" He sobbed glaring at the man. "I didn't care because I still had you, and that'd all I needed, but now...!?... now I've got nothing."
Niko wiped his face, turning to glare at the man.
"'Sides, you expect me to believe you'd ever get with some nobody like me?" He grumbled, wiping his nose, turning away from the Man.
"Niko." Ozzie began, clearly trying to defend himself, stumbling over his words as he tried to explain himself.
"Save it." Niko sniffled, the man furiously wiping his nose. "You act all buddy buddy but you didn't even tell me you and Fizz were a thing."
He wiped his eyes, glancing at him. "That's how close we are, huh?!" He growled, tears forming as he snapped.
"You know what, they're fucking right, you are a fucking hypocrite. And a lier. And! And..."
He turned, tears building in his eyes.
"And I hate that I still love you!"
He was barely keeping himself composed, sobbing softly as he held his head in his hands.
Fizz and Ozzie stood there, the two of them completely unsure of what to do as the man had an emotional breakdown.
Fizz was... well, he wasn't sure what to think.
On one hand he wanted him to be honest and tell him about his feelings, which he did...
But he didn't want it to be so confrontational. He wanted him to... well, to be honest with both himself and Ozzie.
"Niko." He began softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. To which Niko slapped him away, snarling at him.
"Don't fucking touch me! You dont get to pity me, not when you got the guy. You don't have the right!" He snapped, tears streaming from his eyes.
Fizz stepped back, shocked at the outbreak.
It was as he stood there, breathing heavily, that Ozzie stepped forwards.
The man moved towards the Imp slowly, Niko still sobbing, hunched over as tears streamed from his face.
"Niko." The Sin spoke firmly, standing over the Imp.
Niko, still in tears, sobbed softly, hunched over, clinging to himself.
"Niko." He spoke again, voice firm.
The Imp wiped his eyes, turning his head to snap at him. "What?!"
Leaning down, the man placed his massive hand against the Imps face. "I'm sorry Niko."
Pushing his hand away, the Imp scowling, gritting his teeth. "Fuck you!" He snapped.
But Ozzie didn't flinch, the man bringing his hand up to cup his tiny body.
"Just stop!" He snapped, but this time his voice was full of emotion, tears streaming down his face yet again.
But Ozzie didn't, instead the man held him, hands cupping his form, pulling the Imp to his massive chest.
"STOP!" Niko sobbed, trying to push his hand away, the Imp still in tears as the Sin held him.
But Ozzie didn't, instead he just held the man even as he cried and squirmed in his grasp.
The Sin slowly pulled him closer, Niko sobbing, angrily trying to push him away, but the Sin didn't respond, simply pulling the Imp close.
The Imp cried, and whined and sobbed as the man pulled the Imp close.
Niko fought it, squirming and writhing, pushing the Sin away as he pulled him to his chest.
"I'm sorry." The sin spoke softly as the man fought and pushed, tears streaming from his eyes as the man resisted.
"No. No. Fucking stop!" He cried, almost pleading. "You can't do this shit!" He cried, pushing the Sin away, only for the muscular embodiment of Sin to pull him closer, holding the Imp to his chest.
"You can't do this!" Niko sobbed, Ozzie pulling the Imp close, the man breaking down, trying to squirm out of his grip, but failing as Ozzie pulled him to his chest, holding the Imp close.
Niko was a sobbing mess, the man smacking his hand against his chest, demanding him to release him as he violently sobbed, trying to escape his grasp, but as he pulled and pushed, he rapidly lose steam, the man crying as he pressed against his firm chest.
"Leave me... please... stop!" He pleaded, sobbing into the man's chest, a great wet spot appearing on his shoulder as he held the Imp close.
"I'm so sorry." Ozzie spoke softly, holding him close. "I'm so sorry I didn't realise."
The Imp cried, sobbing and battering his fist against the man, trying anf failing to escape his grasp, sobbing violently as he smacked his fist into the Sin's chest.
"Just... stop..." the Imp sobbed before he collapsed against the Sin's chest, the Imp crying as he gradually lost his steam.
Niko would collapse against his chest, crying as he gripped his coat, the man having a full on breakdown as he sobbed and cried into his chest.
Ozzie... Ozzie felt awful. His best friend. The one Imp he could always count on had been in love with him for over a decade and he hadn't realised it. Well, really, he hadn't realised cause he hadn't cared too.
Niko was right, he caused this.
Ozzie pulled him close, holding him carefully, the man wanting to show he cared. Yet as the man collapsed against him, Ozzie simply sighed, an expression of shame crossing his face, the sin almost in tears.
Taking a shuddering breath, Ozzie cupped his face as he fell unconscious, Niko utterly exhausted, passing out in his grasp.
"I'm so sorry Niko." He spoke softly, tears stinging his eyes.
Fizz was shocked.
He'd never seen the Sin tear up before, the Jester half believing it wasn't possible, yet here he was.
Ozzie turned to the Imp, reaching out to him. Fizz smiling despite the circumstances, zipped towards him, resting atop his shoulders as then carried the Imp to his bed.
The Sin carried the Imps to the bed, Fiss watching the man with a sympathetic expression, watching the man as the Sin got into bed, pulling the both of them close.
"What's next?" Fizz asked softly, looking to the now unconscious Imp.
Ozzie, wiping the tears from his eyes, took a deep breath.
"I don't know If he'll forgive me. Hell, I'm not sure if he should forgive me, or if I even need to be forgiven." He sighed, rubbing his face.
"I just... I need to show him I care. He... he deserves to know I care about him."
He sighed softly, gently rubbing just below Niko's horns, just as he would to Fizzarolli, Fizz noticing this, not feeling jealous, but realising just how much he cared for this Imp.
"Babe." He began, kissing his cheek. "I love you. Just... be honest with Niko. That's all I ask."
Ozzie froze for a second, smiling at the man.
Pulling him in they shared a passionate kiss.
"I love you froggie." He purred, Ozzie giggling, nuzzling the man.
"Love you too my hunk of burning sin." Fizz giggled back.
The two curled up, embracing each other, getting comfortable as he turned to the unconscious Imp.
"I hope we can work it out. I... I like Niko. I hope it works it out." Fizz hummed, a sense of guilt buzzing through him.
Ozzie just nodded, pulling him close. "Me too... Fizzi-pop." he sighed softly, the Sin looking down at the now unconscious Imp. "Me too..."
This is a sequel to my 'what about me?' Headcanon, I hope you like it.
#helluva boss#headcanon#helluva boss headcanon#x reader#helluva boss x reader#asmodeus#helluva boss asmodeus#asmodeus x reader x fizzarolli#asmodeus x reader#asmo
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dude...no need to be an asshole to that last anon, wtf? I can absolutely see how they read your post like that. just because you run a writing blog doesn't make up incapable of being unclear.
your shitty response was way out of line and uncalled for. maybe try chilling the fuck out and not attacking people because they read your post differently than you intended, jfc. shit like this makes me feel like I can never engage with your posts because you might fly off the handle and act like an asshole to me for not reading your post exactly they way you intended. which is pretty fucking shitty behavior on your part.
that anon made really good points, and I think they were a valid response to what you said. not their problem (or any reader's) that you don't like that that's how some of us read you post. good posts provoke conversations and discussions about nuanced topics - instead you decided to shut that down and be an asshole. grow up, and maybe take your own advice and chill the fuck out. nobody called you a racist or some shit, but you're acting like you got attacked when the only person attacking anyone here is you.
Here are my choices when people send me asks that misunderstand or misrepresent posts that I made:
I ignore them. I do this sometimes. I can and will keep doing it.
I entertain their argument and get sucked into a conversation I have no interest in having.
I tell them that they misrepresented my post and that I'm not going to engage with it.
In this case, I picked option three. Was I a bit harsh? Yeah, maybe. I'm sorry if my tone came across as more aggressive than I intended.
But I am sick of the standard reaction to me talking about things like being cognizant of what we write and trying to avoid doing harm being people telling me that it's censorship or that it's somehow infringing on their ability to write what they want, or that I'm implying that they can't ever bring up a bad or hurtful topic at all.
Because that is probably the most common type of ask that I get whenever I make posts like this. This are not even the only conflating glorifying with talking about at all and then arguing with me based on that misunderstanding reaction I have gotten in the last 48 hours.
But, and I mean this genuinely, I would like to know what I am saying that is implying that. I have read through the posts I made and tried to see where that implication might be coming across, and I can't find it. And so please, I would truly appreciate you or anyone else telling me what in my phrasing or word choice is leading to that conclusion.
Because I want to avoid saying that. That's not the argument I'm trying to make and it's never the argument I've been trying to make. And so if I am accidentally implying that somehow in what I'm saying, I want to know that and change it.
But it's not my job to engage every time someone starts arguing with a point I didn't even make.
#elumish answers#ethical writing#i am tired of people's reactions to “try to avoid doing harm” being “but what if this is actually censorship”#and so yeah i'm reacting like someone who is tired of hearing that same response over and over
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WIBTA for telling a guilt-tripper to knock it off?
I'm part of a Discord server for authors, both aspiring and published. We chat about life, discuss story ideas, share snippets, look for beta readers, give each other feedback on our query packages—the usual. We're from all over the world, so sometimes time zones don't match up, and inevitably there are members who are more active and, thus, get a bit more attention
There's this one user—let's call them Kat—who used to be fairly active and had decent interaction from other users. Around December, Kat shared a bit of their writing to a critique swap—basically a Google Drive where we could look over each other's stuff and provide feedback. They uploaded a bit late due to their schedule (GMT) and didn't get as much critique as they'd hoped, which made them a bit disheartened and they commented as much in the server. I can't blame them, since feeling ignored sucks, but I feel like complaining about it in the general channel (we have a dedicated vent channel) was a bit gauche.
Regardless, Kat continued to be active, albeit posting less frequently. Notably, most of their posting seems to be either responding to group prompts or talking about their own writing. Rarely do they respond to someone else's comments—or, hell, even replies to their own! I've seen people inquire more about stuff they've brought up, and then they just never respond. People do interact with them; they just don't interact back.
About a month ago, they messaged the server talking about recovering from illness and coming up with a story idea, asking for people to look over their first few pages. Two people responded with sympathy and interest; as far as I'm aware, Kat never got back to those people. Usually in interactions like this, someone asks for feedback, another person replies to tell them they're interested, the OP asks to DM, and the conversation goes there; Kat straight up left them hanging. After that, they only sent a few messages—a couple of replies to group prompts (those rarely have interaction from other users, though I've made an effort to react or reply to interesting responses, and I've seen a few others do the same), and another passive-aggressive comment about being ignored.
Tonight, Kat sent a message to the chat in the general channel (again, not #vent) that started with, "Whatever I've done or not done that's made me a social pariah in this group to people I thought were friends who now ignore my questions or posts, at least have a modicum of compassion and heart this message..." They then continued, talking about losing someone close to them. I do sincerely feel for them, but I can't bring myself to interact with that message in any way. Not even the heart they want. Worse, I'm entertaining the notion of telling them that while I am genuinely sorry for their loss, guilt-tripping people isn't an effective way to garner compression.
Why I WBTA: Literally they're grieving, that's such a shitty thing to do right now. Besides, they are right in that people haven't interacted with them as much ever since they asked for feedback on their work that one time. I doubt this will help anyone, let alone them.
Why I might be a JAH (I know for a fact there's no world where I'm NTA): Responses have dipped because they aren't posting as much, and moreover, since they rarely respond to people at all, it's likely that we've all learned that it's not worth it interacting with them. Besides, if I ignore them, they'll just keep guilt-tripping even more, which also isn't helpful to anyone. And again—we have a vent channel. Why they came into the place where we chitchat about our weekend plans vexes me somewhat.
I dunno. It's a very damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. WIBTA?
What are these acronyms?
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Something that frustrates me about the ptmyg situation is that like, it's so hard to counteract someone being lovebombed by transfem separatists. I wish I could send in enough supportive messages to counteract it but I'm only one person and I've got shit to do! And I don't even send messages much at all because I feel like nobody cares what I have to say anyway! But these people are so confident and send loads of messages and have the free time to do so. What on earth are we supposed to do.
You're better than me because I just deleted a post blaming her for it more than I think was warranted in retrospect. Like idk, I guess it's easy for me to say as someone who thrives on all kinds of attention to brush that kinna thing off but it just bothers me a lot. I don't like it when people give in to assholes. I don't know how to be nice about it. I literally don't know. It sucks to be such an aggressive, angry person, but it's so hard to look at the situation and not just be like, can you just do better? Even though that's probably not fair. It's a lot of pressure, I know, but it really seems so easy to me and I have a very hard time getting out of the headspace of "just do what I would do?????".
I feel bad for how volatile I am, mostly because I'm worried of how that'll affect people's perception of me. Sometimes I get anxious about when people will start to realize I'm just a dog without a leash. Genuinely wish I had the capacity to be less aggro by default without needing to be checked.
Ughhhhh. Sorry. I'm making this all about me.
But, listen, you can't let "nobody cares what I have to say" stop you from saying things. People DO care! I care! It MATTERS! Even if it's just one or two messages, it can make a difference. It won't always, but sometimes. I would encourage you to just...do what you can, when you can. That's all that can be done. We all have each other, at least, and every now and then we get a solid W. Like I said, I have pleasant conversations with people who I disagree with about on these things on a regular basis! Just today I got someone to realize how their post came off as exorsexist. That may be small, but it counts.
Just do what you can, anon. <3
Or whatever you think i would do.
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I came across the character Branwen* in my most recent play-through and was curious if she's supposed to be Inuit or not? It was just a bit unclear since she has a chin-stripe tattoo, a Welsh name, and comes from Gael (which I'm under the impression is supposed to be Norse inspired?) Neither the Welsh/Celts or Norse had tattoos like these and the imagery of such comes from the appropriation of Inuit kakiniit. It's unfortunately common, especially in the fantasy genre, think Yasha from Critical Role, and I wouldn't really blame you for not yet knowing better. Misguided or not, it's very damaging since these tattoos are a closed practice, and Inuit have asked us not to use them for non-indigenous characters. Some other cultures have similar tattoos, but these are specifically what are appropriated from in the "Norse aesthetic".
This could be a great opportunity to represent a community that's regularly misrepresentationed and appropriated from in the genre, though! I don't believe you had any ill intentions, if this is a mistake you've made, since you've done really well about a lot of other things so far.
Also, I've done a lot of research on the topic for my own world building and I can try to help if you have any questions!
Here's a list of Inuk creators and artists from my own following (on TikTok specifically):
kadlun
willow.allen
notdayle
shinanova
And fairy.gothparent (not indigenous) has some really educational content on the subject also!
I'm sorry I've misread or misinterpreted anything, and I hope none of this came off as aggressive! I'm just genuinely curious and want to help others do better!
hi :-) no worries, you are not aggressive at all. Branwen is not meant to be Inuit, nor is she meant to be Welsh or Norse. Gael and Adrania are just Fantasy Lands with their own lore & culture-- but with that being said, i am fully aware that the setting for TNP is very much giving medieval Europe, hahahaha. regardless, when i choose names they are mainly just because i like them, so i wouldn't put too much stock in them when reading.
same thing when i designed Branwen, the tattoo was mostly for the aesthetic and because i liked it. i was aware of a few different types of indigenous tattoos (like the Māori tāmoko as well as the Inuit kakiniit) at the time i chose the thick, solid line because i was purposefully trying to avoid conflating it directly with those indigenous tattoos. you're the first person to point this out to me and i appreciate it and it has made me reevaluate my decision to give her such a distinct tattoo. i wanted tattoos to be a big part of Gaelish culture & planned for them to be made with heavy lines & geometry, but in the end a lot of the designs are all over the place (Merry's are way more modern due to basing some of the designs around nautical/sailor tattoos with only a few geometric designs, while Lea's are strictly geometric runes meant for their alchemy)
i absolutely want to avoid misrepresenting these tattoos, especially since it was never my intention for this character to be interpreted as a part of any of the mentioned indigenous groups. this is a good reminder for myself that my work does not exist in a vacuum and regardless of my intentions, the names i choose & the designs i make still reflect my own personal biases and have implications outside of my story.
i appreciate you messaging me and sharing resources. and i always want to encourage people to do so! especially because in my worldbuilding for Gael and Adrania i am pulling inspiration from a lot of different places and a lot of other fantasy media. i've always intended for Adrania to be a "melting pot," with a lot of different influences as in-game cultures converge around their ports & trade routes, but that can also lead to me unintentionally harming real world groups & cultures in my interpretations. as much as i want to "build from scratch" it's just not possible, i will always be influenced by the society i live in, hence me including the tattoo to begin with because you're right, i have seen similar designs in other fantasy media & just didn't think much about it.
going forward i'll most likely just remove that tattoo from Branwen's design, and maybe give her a neck tattoo instead 🤔 just something different to distinguish it from those indigenous designs.
#the 'melting pot' stuff might just be my american-ness showing lmfao but that's always the vibe i've tried to bring to tnp#and i try to be mindful about how the mc & their gaelish identity is depicted so people can still project onto them in some way#and then obviously with characters like lea they are meant to be interpreted as chinese diaspora#anyways like i said i appreciate feedback like this#i know a lot of fantasy authors tend to fall into the trap of regurgitating popular fantasy archetypes/tropes#without thinking about their origins. and end up injecting real world bigotry into their worldbuilding without realizing it#thinking specifically of the weird anti irish sentiment in SJM books. and zionism also#the 'true and noble nation' versus 'savage barbarian nation' is an extremely common one unfortunately#and i want to avoid stuff like that!!!!!!!!!!! so please i am always open to feedback like this#ask#themistwood
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Hi. I just wanted to apologize. You don't have to post this or respond, but I am genuinely sorry for what I wrote and how I treated you. I'm the one who sent that long ask about your answers to a salty ask. That message I sent was way out of line and out of pocket. When I read your comments I mistook them as dismissive and ran with it, projecting my own frustration onto you, and there's no excuse for that. You were simply giving an opinion and answering what you had been asked, and honestly the comments didn't even affect me much, I was just angry in general and wanted a scapegoat for that aggression. I'm sorry for taking that out on you. The way I acted was immature and nasty, and no one deserves that, especially someone as kind as you. Accusing you of tearing others down and twisting your words like that was downright bully behavior and I am so, so sorry for treating you so poorly.
I should also apologize for responding the way I did. I was a tad too salty and I did not intend in my initial statement to come off as offensive. Looking back, I can see how my attempts at showing my opinion alongside humor might have been read wrong. I really do appreciate that you were willing to try and point out where I could have come across as cruel. It came off as accusatory, but I salute the boldness.
The fact that you apologized shows you have a lot of character, dear anon. Being able to see where you might have played your cards poorly is a fantastic skill and I respect the crap out of your ability to come back and say sorry when you could have vanished into the void behind the veil of anonymity.
Let's get back to having fun as a fandom now that we've smoothed things over. There are plenty of robots left to enjoy.
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i'm gonna do a brief summary of me going mia.
fyi, i am being a bitch here so skip if you don't wanna get confused
> i stupidly sent an ask to a network i'm in about an admin who had been abusing his power/position to smear my name and reputation by introducing me to people as an abuser and i've seen texts okay this admin encouraged network members to block and just avoid me on top of calling me an abuser and called me annoying and when i was plagiarized by dally he literally called me annoying and on another plagiarizing incident, said that i "went off" but it was /neg like dude i got my shit stolen why do you think i got mad ?? and this admin had gone to another network to shit talk me with someone so openly so like wtf ?? mind you this admin used to be a friend but even when he was a friend, he had been running a smear campaign since as early as late october 2022 so imagine the betrayal and he convinced people to join in on hating me and even make it seem like a group activity and even went like "OOO WHO SHOULD WE INVITE NEXT INTO THIS HATE SMT GROUPCHAT" and it took one person to say "are you seriously inviting people in to trash talk someone you had personal beef with?" For him to be like "lol okay whatevs" but still continue. need to note this admin had participated in the desolution of 3 communities and each implosion happened after he established a "romantic relationship" with the members + gathering boob pics from others
> i was approached by an admin who at first was like "oh i'm just letting you know we're on your case. but ykw this this this this and this didn't happen the way you said, it actually happened like this" and this admin ended up labeling the shit show that i was shoved into as "personal vendetta" in a network announcement and even gaslit me. she kept saying like "aren't you tired of this? he decided to move on and he seems genuine, you could move on too" but her version of moving on was just me pretending like he didn't do anything to me because he decided that it was time to pretend like he hadn't ran a year long campaign talking shit about me to people i don't even know. like holy shit people actually came to me and apologized for believing him and what he said about me after he was done using these people too but yea sure i'm the asshole. she also said "if he came to you and apologized would you accept?" And i was like "hell no?" And she was like "SEE HOW IS THAT YOU MOVING ON" and g0rl you should've seen my face because how does not accepting the absence of accountability that had been hidden in the guise of a 2 second "i'm sorry" text = me not moving on ? he did his crime and i'm within my rights to say "lol okay so?"
> the other admin was no better bc she said "you should've sent those screenshots months ago like i told you" which btw she knew i couldn't bc i was trying to not stir drama and unlike that admin, i don't want to make another community implode. and she also said "i'm tired being in the middle of this" like g0rl i haven't been the one who brings up this issue, isn't it possible you feel like you're in the middle because you're within that asshole admin's vicinity ?
> then the network posted an announcement about the admin's "punishment" and said admin "apologized" but even in that apology the admins were still covering his ass because there were no accountability of the slanderous bullshit he told people, the manipulation, the actual emotional tornado he had put DOZENS of people in (not just me), there was nothing sincere because he only apologized after i gave a formal complaint to the network. it was theatrical which is so fitting since he likes theatres so much. esp musical ones.
> then another issue arise when someone put my dragon!hwa fic on a fic rec post and also put the au source in the same post and that writer threw a passive aggressive tantrum that called fic rec posts stupid, accusing me of "taking", how it is not fair that "others" get more attention when they don't put in the same amount of effort, how it's not her fault she couldn't write 10k fics which made me feel like it was pointed at me so i approached her and asked if she wanted me to take the fic down and she does and it BROKE me. she wanted me to delete one of my best works because she thinks i don't put in as much effort as she does when writing that and that it's unfair that fic got more traction than her works which only get "likes and likes and likes and empty reblogs" and i was considering deleting the fic but i'm changing my mind because she didn't even have the GALL to approach me and voice out her concern and she made unfair insinuations about me and possibly other writers. those are the main reasons because g0rl she really did make me want to delete my blog.
> i was gone this whole time because i felt like i've caused so much negativity on tumblr and her words made me feel nauseous whenever i open tumblr. it didn't help that i was already dealing with the issues from the admins from that network and work which had been so fun and my family where it's all shit but because of dealing with this, i've been so drained to the point that my sinus got inflamed which affected the nerves on my teeth and i've been nursing the same hammering headache since last wednesday (5 days) and i honestly felt like death on a stick and i just wanted to be happy here again. i love the people here esp my readers and ghawd how much i love seeing tagged reblogs. i felt inadequate most of the time like everytime i post a chapter it's like playing uno with loki and betting on my ability to cope with shitty humor like fuck man but i decided to come back because the several times i lost hope in life, the times i felt like people in my real life don't need me and would rather not have me around, i know that i have people like bunni and ren and that there's a group of strangers who appreciate what i have to offer no matter what i think of myself and i'm getting emotional now and i gotta pee and idk how to end this so bye
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Beelzbebub redesign? Idk..I saw vivs excuses for why the Beelzbebub design sucks AS A BEELZBUB DESIGN. And me and a friend basically rewrote stuff so here-
So I'll explain, first of all am I one of those people that are like BEELZBUB IS A FLY, yes.
Do I care when people make them a bee, obviously not since I went with that pun for my own design(though I had to convinced that I was working on this with someone cause if it were me she would've definitely been a fly.)
Anyways anyone remember when Viv tried to say every one of the sins were supposed to represent a different part of the circus, I don't. Maybe she mentioned that years ago and forgot herself but like where??? Also she really tried to say that Bee was an animal trainer?? No.
I'm bringing this all up to say, I made this "beelzbebub" not a fox but a hell hound hybrid with a bee or fly (whatever will piss you off the most). Also this design is not the actual bee but instead a representative? Servant? Kind of their right hand, an Ozzie and Fizz situation but without the romance or lust. I based this "bee" off of one of those circus dogs that bounce on balls and stuff, idk I've never seen them at my circus but I've seen Madagascar 3 so...
I even gave her that stupid party hat they put on a dog if you look "clown dog" up on pintrest.
Me and my friend had this idea where, the hybrid hellhounds were the servants of Bee, obviously, and they were the ones that threw party's and fed to give all of that to Beelzbub themself. LIKE A BEE HIVE/QUEEN BEE SUTUATION. And they all came out like those circus dogs, to make be look somewhat like animal trainer🙄
BTW, this one is just a pop star that's why I didn't go SO heavy on the clown make up. It killed me cause I love clowns😭
Sorry if I seem aggressive and mean, I am. I don't like this show, I don't like it's characters or its story. I try to give genuine critics but understand I still do not like this show, so idk take everything I say with a grain of salt.
#helluva beelzebub#helluva critical#helluva boss#beelzbebub redesign#im so done#my art#m3nty's art#m3nty rants
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I'm so so sorry! Forgive me! I didn't mean for my ask to come off that way. I've been reading fics for a long time and engagement has been "I'll update when I want to stfu!" Or "Yeah I heard your idea but I don't want it." Or "It's my story I'll do what I want."
From my understanding and experience giving writers ideas has been kind of taboo and unappreciated from the writers.
And waiting silently hasn't done me any good. I've had stories I was dedicated reading go on hiatus for years. The last one I read getting updated after 2 years and it was clearly a rushed project with no effort put into it. And now it's on another hiatus again going on 1 year. When multiple people asked about it the creator has a "At least I updated at all!" kind of attitude. It was incredibly heart breaking for both sides.
And it seems to be incredibly more common nowadays. I didn't mean to be rude and I do like your other stories. It just stings having other projects worked on while a favorite collects dust and anything you do gets met with aggression or ignored.
Please keep up the good work. I genuinely appreciate you!
I'm sorry but your last ask really came off that way and I had a bad day. Thank you for apologizing and I'm sorry you had these experiences, no more hard feelings here.
I hope you don't feel like you need to generalize all writers because I have never been told these awful things before, so I can wholeheartedly say it's not everyone. Those you encountered treated you badly, but that doesn't mean everyone will. In fact, maybe it wasn't a problem they had with you, but just a problem they had that day or with themselves and you were a scapegoat in that moment. It's not right and they should have just deleted your ask and moved on from it and not been rude to you, but it might explain things. I'm sorry for the experience you had with these people, and I hope they reflect and better themselves every day. You should still watch how you talk to others though, because seeing how demanding you worded your other ask, maybe you've been misinterpreted a few times.
The best and safest way is always to wait and see if a writer asks for inspiration or help and then respond, but it's not everyone's cup of tea to ask for outside help, and we have to respect that too. Don't push you opinion on others (like, write hundreds of words about how things should continue and then this should happen and maybe the characters could do this, etc.) because if you go against someone's believes you will only end up wasting your time and energy talking against a wall. I'd even say if anyone treats you rudely, you should step away and leave them for good. But personally, I've never been mad at anyone for writing me an ask with e.g. "I keep thinking about x and x happening and I am so curious how it will continue!" or something like "Have you thought about x doing x? I wonder if they'd be happy this way!"
I always like hearing others ideas, but you also shouldn't be upset if I don't do anything with it. Especially with multiple chapter stories, there's usually some kind of plotline I'm following and as such I might need to change the whole plot for the story if I take inspiration. Sometimes it can be incorporated, sometimes not. Sometimes it's worth in my opinion to change everything, sometimes it's too much work.
Btw, as far as I heard, you should never suggest things to authors who have published books and series. It can get really messy. But you are always free to tell them how excited you are and how much you enjoyed their stories!!
However, I do disagree with you on the last point. Your dedication to a story might be admirable but doesn't sound healthy for neither you nor the authors. For you because you use an unreliable source to dedicate your well-being too, and for the author because everyone is allowed to create and stop creating as they like. Forcing them will only end in heartbreak as you have experienced. No one gets to decide for someone else, so if you want to keep dedicating yourself to stories that are still in the works or have long been abandoned, so be it, but then you shouldn't be surprised if a writer snaps at you for demanding more and more. Every decision you make has the potential to be a concious one, so think before you act.
Everyone hates it if a good story is left to rot, but the only thing you can do is be thankful for the author writing it and wishing them well no matter what they are doing. Try reading stories that are finished and save those that aren't for later when they are done or definitely on hiatus so you can prepare yourself for not getting an end. You are free to choose the internet experience you want to see, but you can't force your experience on others.
And here is my controversial take of the month... no idea that exist is really original. Even if you read about a princess becoming the dragon, it has been done before. So in the worst case that an unfinished story really eats away at you, use the idea that you can see the story originate from and create the tale you want on your own from scratch—even the ending. You might not be able to finish the story of someone else, but you can still think about yours.
I wish you well, anon. Take care.
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If people aren't comfortable reblogging fics to their blog (which I am not, due to a personal history of being doxxed and humiliated to my irl friends and family), are comments sufficient enough engagement or would you rather that reader not engage with your work at all?
I feel like that came out sounding passive aggressive but I truly mean it as a genuine question and am just not sure how to rework it to sound less snarky! I see this discourse on and off from different fic writers and respect both opinions and think everyone should be able to curate interaction with their fics as they see fit.
Hi, anon.
I've been thinking carefully on how to respond to this. I can tell you're not trying to come off as snarky– which i say as someone who can't read tone for shit most of the time and whose own tone can come off aggressive or bitchy when I don't mean it to be.
I'm gonna address your ask as thoroughly as I can, if that's cool. Sorry if it's a long response. I'll put a cut in so I don't interrupt feeds ✂️
First, I want to pose a question to your question, which I mean genuinely with no spite whatsoever: why are you on Tumblr if you're not reblogging or don't even reblog?
As I've stated in other replies to the post I made a few weeks back, from the way I see it, Tumblr is literally built upon the foundation of sharing creations and content. There is no dead-set algorithm here like there is for Instagram or TikTok. Sharing is, quite fucking literally, caring here. We are able to form communities of all sizes because we share things. Reblogging is essential to the upkeep, and quite frankly the existence, of fandom and communities. Without sharing, our communities crumble and become ruins. We are actively seeing this as we speak: many mutuals and authors I follow are starting to quit writing due to passive, demanding consumption patterns and 0 engagement.
I know you probably know this, but I thought I'd restate it for answer's sake.
To answer the meat of your ask, I will pull from both personal experience and mutuals' experiences and input.
In my own personal opinion, if you are solely commenting on fics and are not engaging in anything else (no likes, no reblogs, etc.) then I personally think that Tumblr is not the site you should be on and, frankly, you should go sign up for AO3 if that's all you're going to do.
And I mean this earnestly. If all you want to do for engagement is commenting, then AO3 needs you because sharing does NOT affect authors nearly as much over there as it does here. In fact comments on AO3 are the literal equivalent to reblog on Tumblr: we don't get any and when we do it's like finding an oasis in a never ending desert.
Now in terms of what mutuals and other authors have said on the matter, it seems the consensus is that commenting without reblogging is a case-by-case basis. I'm going to quote a mutual of mine here:
"...if someone is commenting on my work but not reblogging… I'd say it's case by case. If it's just MY fics they aren’t reblogging, then it'd be a problem, but if they don’t reblog ANY [fics] I'd be more okay."
Another mutuals also put it this way:
"... I feel like there *is* both sides in this sense; yes comments are nice and engaging even though they aren't the preferred and most helpful way to boost writers..."
I feel like both of them put it into words where I struggled to. I will also say that I do agree with the point being that if you're not gonna reblog ANYTHING– no art, no content, no photos, no other fics, nothing– AND your profile adheres to the guidelines set forth in basic Tumblr etiquette (not looking like a bot and not a minor) then sure, comment away.
The verdict, in summary with my opinion and mutuals': it depends on your behavior and your interactions with other works and content.
I hate the word content but I couldn't think of another one.
But, my question still stands: why are you on Tumblr when you don't even participate in the basic fundamental function of this site?
I also wanted to take the time to address the other part of your ask regarding the doxxing and people finding out your identity.
It has been very widely known for (close to) two decades now that Tumblr is the place where you can have an anonymous identity. Truly. I've been on here for the collective half of the last decade and have been on the Internet for a little more than half my life, now, and Tumblr and fandom are literally the biggest and best places where you can be someone else. You can be completely anonymous.
The common denominator, however, is you.
The amount of information you have on your blog is what you choose to put on it. If you state your real name, your state and city, have one of those (imo stupid) carrd things or whatever, then honey– and I mean this in the nicest way possible, truly– that is on you. I know for a fact (from good and bad experiences) that you have all of the power in the world to annonymize yourself while still maintaining yourself on the Internet. That make sense?
A couple of mutuals made very excellent points regarding this:
"...I have a best friend irl who has Tumblr and is so close to the fandoms I'm in, and she doesn't know I write here. I am anonymous on here. I'm suprised she hasnt connected the dots because my aesthetics are the same in real life..."
"...I personally think its pretty easy to be anonymous on tumblr. Especially since usually all we ask is you have that you aren’t a minor at the top of your blog..."
"...it's really easy to be anonymous on the internet [...] you can be an ENTIRELY different person on the internet..."
From that last mutual, I'll paraphrase and go off of another point they made: the fact that you do want to participate and comment negates your ENTIRE arguement because someone– anyone– can find you and your blog through said comment(s).
Your digital footprint is what you leave behind. So if you have your city and state and grade and real name and all this other shit in your blog or carrd or whatever, then you are the only one who is responsible for having put said information out there.
Hell, I've been mutuals with some people going on 2-3 YEARS at this point and the only other things they know about me is my state, general city vicinity, my cat, and what I do for a living. That's it. And we span from early twenties to married with a kid or two.
We are in charge of what we share and I implore you– as someone with a certification in legal information technology– to please educate yourself on your Internet privacy and digital footprint. Please take the time to think about your actions and the information you have online. I STILL do this to this day, even after getting certified and being on the Internet for half my life.
I am sorry that you've gotten doxxed in the past. Truly, I am. It's a horrible act and I hope you never have to experience that again. Please know I am not being dismissive of that nor trying to blame you for said acts.
But it all comes down to you at the end of the day. In general, it's you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions. And if you happen to be a minor, then I strongly urge you to rethink your decisions and maybe step away from social media and utilize critical thinking in order to asses your situation and who you surround yourself with, both online and offline. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 14– fuck, even when I was 18.
And I mean it when I say AO3 might suit you more than Tumblr. If any fandom site has more capabilities to be anonymous than Tumblr itself, it's AO3.
Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for you. My DMs and ask box are always open and I am open to more commentary on the matter and related ones so long as it is civil and respectful. I refuse to stop having this conversation.
Thank you for listening ❤️
#jen speaks#commentary#ask#answer#long post#long response#i hope i addressed this enough for you anon#and others who kight have similar questions#this conversation is LONG overdue and i want to spearhead the effort to try snd build back fandom and engagement between reader and writer#anyways#i read this a million times and even had my boyfriend's input lmaooo#he doesnt have a clue about fandom but he assured me i wasnt coming off as an asshole 😅#im hoping i can continue the conversation with yall bc once im passionate theres no turning back#and idk about yall#but it fucking sucks seeing your friends lose interest in their hobbies and you look up to them and i hate seeing them so defeated#its an epidemic
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Got subjected to it and reacted badly to someone accidentally offending me by coming off wrong
Which is the RSD
I would have said similar under similar circumstances, and I would have gotten defensive if anyone said anything to me about it.
Which is the autism
And I am so FUCKING ANGRY at the bullshit right now
Because the reason I'm sensitive like that is because I learned how many times other people don't actually tell someone they're doing something they don't like or were offensive. I learned to read literally everything remotely negative as a, 'you fucked that up', because people have made clear that when I or anyone else responds with any kind of negativity or the wrong kind of positivity (e.g. nodding and saying 'uh-huh'), it's a fuck-up. They complain to me about other people doing things that I do, and now I know that this Thing can be read badly
I'm context blind/deaf. I'm subtext illiterate. I can't pick up on the underlying shit. I do good to know it's there.
And I'm old, this is with practice and education on what's actually going on, why they are the way they are
But it doesn't really help because I can't work without that information that is literally so far beyond my understanding.
Like the thing the person did that offended was an attempt to be helpful, to direct me to other resources, but it came off as a 'go away'. They answered very shortly after I asked for help, and mentioned the fact that I could do it alone, and this combination of things made it feel bad.
I've done things like that, and I would not have recognized the context, I would not have realized i offended.
Worse, I, the offended party, didn't want to address it because if they did it on purpose, i would be picking a fight and i don't have the spoons for it; and so committed the same sin I get so mad about by failing to let them know it came off wrong.
Someone else did address it, and they got defensive, and I certainly would have, too. I ended up defending them, because I felt it so bad. Been there, done that.
Knowing it wasn't intentional was a lot better. I just assume it is and avoid that person most of the time.
Can only hope the lesson took
Cos I hated apologizing for shit like that for a long time, it felt like I was admitting a wrongdoing
You didn't do anything wrong, but you did mess up. You verbally elbowed someone on accident, it happens. Just take it with grace, say you're sorry, ask if they're okay (DO NOT ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK) and move on.
They honestly don't care why you did it. I hate this, I really do, but it's not important to the matter. This really is a stupid, irrational thing, but they don't want an explanation, they want a fucking apology.
(I say 'they' because I usually take explanations as apologies, unless your explanation makes it worse, but at that point it's just an argument.)
Like there are a lot of times where I legit Should Not Have Said That, but there's others that are completely beyond my control because they were offensive in a context of which i was completely ignorant
Like calling someone's clothes comfortable for a long time
Badly timed help or genuine suggestions that came out as condescending by making something difficult sound simple (especially when it is for me)
Lots of faux pas that just generally end me up with the adjective 'mean'
Fuck the entire fucking culture that turned compliments into insults by ways of politeness and passive aggressive bullshit, by the way
I've developed a phobia where no matter how well a social interaction went, i don't believe it, because waiting on feedback just gets you kicked out of parties
and then I did the same fucking thing, got touchy because of invisible forces of context and hid the negative response, even knowing the community is rife with the 'tism
The rules are so fucking squishy
And most people don't even know them, even as they follow them
And I did the same fucking thing
So I've learned that there's no fucking learning to do anything but apologize a lot and forgive yourself for it
Good luck, I guess.
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hey. marriage is a legal contract that gives both of you rights and protects both of you. remove from your brain the "our love doesn't need paper" and remember that that paper protects you in the case of abandonment, illness, incapacity, or death of either you or your partner. it grants you the right to be in their hospital room and if they die then your in-laws who hate you can't just take all your shared money and stuff that you've worked so hard for, just to spite you. there is nothing wrong with getting married, and if you share finances and/or cohabitate then it could be a really good idea. you never know when shit's gonna hit the fan; a legal marriage means that you can't be barred from handling the shit together.
marriage rant anon: I mean this in good faith, I promise, I am incredibly invested as a gay person in making sure people understand what marriage really means rather than what conservative christians say or what reactionary "marriage is meaningless just live together" people say. sorry if I came off aggressive 😶🌫️🥺
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honestly anon this is very sweet. thank you for defending my wish to get married against my own self-deprecating shame about how it's Not Leftist
tbh my non-endorsed ~negative attitudes~ about marriage are this weird mix of, like, genuine weird guilt because i'm surrounded online by 1. anarchists who are really into family abolition 2. people who are mad that people they know are Privileging the Couple Form over other relationships, neither of which is, like, an incomprehensible point of view to me; + that almost everyone i know who's married is like minimum four years older than me and i do vaguely feel like this makes me a crazy person with bad judgment, somehow, not that id even be getting married for a few years regardless
but it is a great point that in the here and now i am in fact going to continue to choose to sign leases with the all-time best roommate championship winner (personal aside to jack: you're a very close second but you lose points for that time you washed the dishes with tide pods for a month) indefinitely and in defiance of all plausible obstacles. so i might as well get, like, professional and tax benefits
#the hospital thing is also a great point. i do want 🌸 counted unequivocally as family if someday my aorta finally explodes.#box opener#⍰#also like you'd think if i actually felt that bad about engaging in Structures id be leaving academia first#whereas in fact not only am i not doing that but i think it's morally good to teach in a school. so. why have marriage be where i worry#sorry @ anarchist mutuals. i find your desire to destroy institutions that have caused terrible harm very sympathetic#but my lifestyle is like really dependent on the existence of governments i guess
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bpd anon again. respectfully, and apologies for the bluntness, but its still weird as fuck to treat the behaviors and traits that come directly from an already stigmatized personality disorder and turn them into a scary "twisted romance" or whatever, especially for a romantic fantasy. even if its not your intention, it still comes across as VERY fetishizing, and it makes a LOT of people uncomfortable. I myself have the flavor of bpd that makes me look VERY similar to the typical yandere! (unstable mood, extremely clingy, destructive behaviors, etc) and its led to some of the people I meet to either think the worst of me because of my behaviors, or think its "hot" and view me as their ideal "yandere partner." because even if you can separate them, a lot of people don't.
sure, there's people with bpd out there that don't mind the yandere trope and in fact embrace/reclaim it. I did that myself for a while. but at the end of the day it is still a VERY harmful trope that HAS affected how people view bpd. I myself stopped identifying with the trope bc it just led me into more spirals of me being an awful person- bc thats how it's treated, whether it's out of hatred or fetishization. I don't think you have ill intentions by any means I'm just. Trying to educate you on a matter that is incredibly important to me yk. I don't mean to traumadump I'm just trying to illustrate how the trope has caused harm to people like me. it genuinely pisses me off to no end to see people post about traits and behaviors that I've struggled with for YEARS, apply them to fictional characters, and treat them like this "morbidly attractive" thing for their own romantic fantasy. it feels really gross.
because again, you may be able to separate them, but the yandere trope still takes a lot from bpd. and as a result it has harmed people with the disorder whether it be by other people viewing them as such, or the bpd person themselves thinking they're a monster because of this trope that exaggerates their behaviors and traits, further contributing to the stigma around an ALREADY SITGMATIZED disorder. it's almost like how the trope of "evil split personality" has contributed to the stigma surrounding people with DID and other similar disorders. it's great you can separate fiction from reality, but that doesn't the effect it's already HAD on reality. you remember that "irl yandere girl" case ?? yeah that's an extreme case of what happens when a trope based off a mental illness becomes popular 😭
I apologize again if this came across as aggressive or like an attack. lemme reiterate I don't think you have any ill intentions and I especially don't think you're a bad person. I'm just trying to genuinely educate you on a serious topic like this. I am just tired and upset and Im not very rational when Im feeling like that :') ur welcome to disregard everything I said and continue on with ur life, as I obviously have no control over what you do. but at least give it some consideration, please.
Alright, I will think about it and thank you anon for spending ur time to write this to educate me.
I still like the trope but I dont want to contribute to that stigma. So with all you gave me I will think of a way to prevent readers romanticize it themselves(maybe put mor warnings about it? Not sure but im open to suggestions jddhdjjdjeh)
Again im sorry my content made you uncomfortable, and youre not traumadumping at all so dont worry and im sorry for what happened to you. I will be more considered in the power my words hold.
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Do you just not like any? It is ok since you have involvements with other fandoms and may simply have different interests; of course, if this is too deep a question, no need to answer. However, other fans do post about their favorite art and literature all of the time, especially with B&BH. It does much more good than harm. After all, people post about yours all the time and I'm sure it brings you great joy.
/Genuine & light-hearted because I don't want this to accidentally come off as aggressive (meanies suck!!!!!!), especially since I believe that you are very brilliant and a true treasure to this world.
wait wait wait wait . is that???? how I came off??? if so then that genuinely hurts. I thought I was being clear, I’m so so sorry :(
I DO have fics that I like!!!! I DO have favorites!!!! I said that in the ask /nm /gen!!! <333
I’m showing these not as some kind of gotcha moment , not at ALL, but just to show what im referring to in order to help clear up confusion!! <33 and I promise im not angry at you Anon or upset at you or anything like that, im genuinely glad you brought this confusion to my attention. I’m just. kinda panicking (WHICH IS NOT YOUR FAULT !! <3) because I don’t want anyone to ever ever ever think something this harmful about me (not saying you do Anon!!!). the absolute LAST thing I EVER want to do is hurt somebody. It is my fear of hurting someone that is why I won’t name my favorite fics or anything of the sort. I’m aware others do it, that doesn’t mean I have to do it too if it makes me uncomfortable yk /nm /gen <3 Please note that there is nothing wrong with doing this!!! Even if I am uncomfortable with doing it myself!!!! I just genuinely overthink too much and it would cause me immense stress to publicly state my favorite fics wondering OH GOD WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF. Again, I agree anon that it’s not a bad thing!! It’s a good thing!!! I STILL overthink!!! 😭😭
I delved deeper into why on the other ask, too. If you need me to clear anything up on that, please don’t hesitate to reach out
And I may not know who you are Anon, but you are even more brilliant and an even greater treasure to this world :3
I want you all to know, that If there is anything I’ve done that any of you have an issue with, please do not ever hesitate to reach out. I love you all so much, and you are all so phenomenally talented in your writing, your art, and more <3
#im so sorry to anyone who read the ‘read more’ version of this ask#I really derailed and I just wasn’t making sense#I hope im clearer here
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