#I'm sorry for the person I have become since watching the season 2

[elliada]

— Nikka Ursula, Seventy Years Of Sleep #4.

[obvi-the-best-soph]

we're all bound to break. (chapter 1)

alexia putellas masterlist: here requests: here

based on this request: Hey! Got a request for a teen!fic with Barca women’s team (focus on Alexia, Mapi and Ingrid if possible). I’m a sucker for angst so would love an angsty storyline, maybe an injury or off pitch event or something!

word count: 2,375k

summary: your parents pass away 2 weeks before the champions league final, but you don't tell anyone, which of course has knock on effects.

genre: angst/hurt warnings: disordered eating, vomiting, death of parents, swearing, grief, drunk driver/car accident, alcohol, struggling alone, body dysmorphia.

chapter 2

a/n: this is my first full length fic i'm posting on here, so i hope you enjoy it. sorry if the spanish is bad, i tried lol. would love requests and feedback as this had taken me literally ages. thank youuu :)

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Ever since you were a little kid, 4 or 5, you had wanted to play for Barcelona. Your papá had taken you to nearly every game you could make it to, and you loved it. That was always a special time, just you, and papá, and football. That was how you liked it. You and papá. Of course, you loved your mamí too, more than anything, but she didn’t quite love football just as much as you, but she was always supportive and tried her best to understand. So when the contract came for the first team of Barcelona Femení, you couldn’t put pen to paper fast enough. And suddenly, papá wasn’t just coming to games to watch the team, but to watch his own pequeña princesa (little princess) play.

And you absolutely dominated too. At first, you were just another new signing for Barcelona, a young kid that would probably barely ever play and hardly ever get started, but you quickly squashed those assumptions, scoring a hattrick in your debut game, shocking Camp Nou into near silence. You celebrated every goal by making a heart with your hands over your eyes, looking through the gap, where your papá would be cheering and clapping for you. Everything you did, you did for your papá… sound familiar? Every award you had won was dedicated to him, every goal, every game, similar to your mentor and current roommate, Alexia Putellas. When you signed for Barcelona, you had needed somewhere to stay as you and your family lived just outside the city, and after Alexia had met you, she had immediately offered. So that’s where you lived, in an apartment with Alexia. And occasionally, her girlfriend Olga. 

But Alexia wasn’t the only person you’re close to, Mapi and Ingrid often hosting you for sleepovers on weekend or Friday nights. You loved Mapi, always interested in her tattoos and their stories, or the funny things she’d tell you about Alexia or Ingrid. And Ingrid was great too. 

You loved all the Barca girls really, the second you stepped foot in there, they welcomed, loved and accepted you. Especially Ona, who you had become really close to, and Lucy and Kiera were always funny when you tried to teach them Spanish. Lucy was pretty good, but Kiera could barely make her way through “¿Hola, cómo estás?” (Hello, how are you?) without stuttering or looking around for reassurance. She was teased for it a lot, but it was all in good fun. All in all, you loved it at Barcelona, and now anywhere with that team felt like home. 

This season, you have been killing it. Scoring at least one goal every game, often two. And now, you've made it to the Champions League final. 2 weeks before, you got the most devastating call of your life. 

“Is this Y/N L/N?”

“Si, who is this?”

“Uh hola, this is the Police Department of (your hometown), and we regret to inform you that both of your parents have been involved in a serious car accident, they were hit at high speed by a drunk driver. Unfortunately neither of them have survived the impact.”

The phone slipped from your hands, clattering to the floor. Everything went blurry, the tears clouding your vision, and your knees shook until you found yourself crumpled on the bathroom floor. Thankfully, Alexia and Olga had gone out for dinner that night, so you were home alone, otherwise you would’ve immediately had people at your side, and you couldn’t think of anything worse right now. 

So… what now? No more papá, no more mamí…

You didn’t know what to do. So you just sat on the kitchen floor, and cried. And cried. And cried some more. “Why did it have to be me? Why did it have to be my parents?” you thought, the stages of grief already hitting you hard. 

After another hour and a bit longer of crying, you retreated to your room. You curled up in your bed, staring off into space, thinking about all the little things you didn’t have anymore. No more hugs from mamí, no more of her cooking, no more one on one time with papá, no more childhood home to go back to, no doubt your Tia (aunt) would sell that the second her greedy, money-loving little mitts could, no more papá. No more mamí. The two people that kept your world spinning. 

You decided you weren’t going to tell any of the team about it, not yet. Maybe after the final. There were a few reasons you’d thought of, one; you didn’t want them to pity you and treat you differently, two; you didn’t want to make them worry over you anymore than they already, and three; you just couldn’t bear to actually voice the words. “My mamí and papá are dead.” It was too much, too painful. So, you just stayed silent.

You didn’t get out of bed or leave your room much anymore, unless it was for training or other football stuff. That made Alexia begin to worry, you were always happy, and cheerful and hyper and pestering the others. But now you seemed like a shell of the person you were, which was partly true. You didn’t enjoy life much anymore, you just barely managed to drag yourself out of bed each morning, no breakfast, training, then back home, and back to bed. Spending so much time in bed was something you thought to be ‘lazy’ or ‘slobbish’, although you still couldn’t manage to muster up enough energy or fucks to give to get out of it. So you began skipping meals. Not intentionally per say, but you certainly weren’t trying overly hard to eat either. 

And when you look in the mirror nowadays, in a strange, twisted way, you prefer what you saw. You look older, more mature like the other girls in the team, not the baby-faced 16 year old the public sees you to be. So you make even less effort to eat. You know you should, that an athlete starving themselves was like trying to drive a car on empty, but you simply can’t part with the new reflection you saw, the ‘beautiful’ and ‘mature’ one. 

Finally, the day of the final rolled around, and everyone was extremely hyped. The locker room was buzzing, music blasting, girls dancing around, and the atmosphere generally excited. But all you could feel was the emptiness of your stomach, the pounding in your head from the harsh drum beats of the music, the way the backs of your ankles had large red blisters from how your skin had thinned and now the bone rubbed right against the back of your cleats now, the overwhelming feeling of loneliness, knowing that neither of your parents were in the crowd. So you kept quiet, avoiding conversations unless they were completely necessary, slipping out of the locker room as soon as you had finished changing. 

You were starting today, playing up the front with Alexia. You two had become known for your chemistry on and off the pitch, goal scoring machines on it and best friends off it. Alexia had been insanely worried about you recently, living with you, she had obviously noticed your tendency to stay in bed and skip meals, she’d always push for you to eat, but you always passed it off with a “Sorry, I’m not feeling well, I think I’m just going to go to bed.” “Oh, no, gracias, I’m not hungry.”. 

You jogged onto the pitch behind Alexia, before joining the line facing out to the stadium while the National Anthems played, Alexia had her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and her firm grip and presence felt like it was just about the only thing holding you up in that moment. You refused to look at the place where your parents always sat, not being able to bear the sight of someone else sitting in their seats. 

The first whistle blew, and you played well for the first half, scoring a goal in the 26th minute after Alexia set you up for a header. You didn’t really know how to celebrate it, there was no point in doing your usual celebration, because there was no one to look through your heart hands at. You barely even smiled, letting the team just crowd around you with a group hug type thing before getting back to it. You scored again about 10 minutes into the second half, the equalizer, the score was now 2 all, but once again, you barely celebrated. Running on an empty stomach had meant that the game had drained most of your energy, and you weren’t really in the right frame of mind for playing anyway, stuffed full or starving. 

Now, it was the 89th minute, and still a draw, someone needs to score, and quick. You snapped yourself out of the hazy, barely-there headspace you’d been playing in previously. Now was not time for being floaty and sloppy, now was the time to focus. You yelled at Alexia profusely for the ball, 45 seconds on the clock. She made a shit pass, but you managed to recover it. There were 2 defenders on you, and you were barely past halfway with no support, but a quick glance at the clock and you had made up your mind.

You shot. From halfway out. It was a powerful shot, with the perfect curve and force. You watched as it flew through the air, the stadium silent, but the second the ball hit the back of the net, the noise was near unbearable. 20 seconds to go, you’d scored a hattrick, won Barcelona the final, scored from halfway out, and not even celebrated. 

3-2 to Barcelona.

The final whistle blew. All Barcelona goals had been scored by the 16 year old girl. The 16 year old girl that hadn’t eaten in 2 days, the 16 year old girl that had no family to her name but an aunt that never liked her, the 16 year old girl that had secretly been an orphan for 2 weeks, the 16 year old girl that didn’t even know what to feel anymore. 

This was your dream. Win the Champions League for Barcelona. It’d been your dream for as long as you could remember. But it didn’t mean anything now. Not without papá waving his silly flag from the stands, cheering louder than everyone else in the section, wearing your jersey, waiting with open arms when the sound of the last whistle rang through the stadium. 

You stumbled off the pitch, the exhaustion and lack of fuel to keep your body going hitting you all once. You felt weirdly light, your head spinning and vision blurry, steps uneven, like the ground was moving beneath you, like you weren’t really controlling your body.

Eventually, you got to the locker room, where there was thankfully a few sandwiches and some Powerades laying around from before the game. As much as you really, really, didn’t want to eat them, you knew you couldn’t pass out. Not now anyway. So you swallow the two sandwiches down, washing the bready taste away with the Powerade, trying hard not to think about all the carbs and calories in the meal.

You made your way back out to the pitch. But you didn’t go into the middle to celebrate with the other girls. You just plonked down a little way in from the sideline, just staring out at everything, the crowd, the girls, the losing team, the fans, the losing fans. It wasn’t like you at all. You were always in the action, partying and pestering, but now, you were intentionally avoiding it. You hid away in the dugout when you saw the team looking around for you. Their star player. “The goal scoring machine at 16”, as some fans had nicknamed you.

“Y/N? What are you doing chica? Come celebrate!” Alexia called at you from the sidelines, grinning, a slight confused furrow in her brows. 

Welp, hiding place blown you guess. You sigh and get up, painting a fake smile across your face and letting Alexia wrap her arm around your shoulder as she leads you back to where the rest of the team are, in the middle of the pitch.

“Y/N! Our little superestrella (superstar)!” Mapi yells, excitedly making her way towards you, the rest of the team rushing along behind her, wanting to celebrate you. Attention. The last thing you wanted right now, but you were being smothered in it. 

Eventually, the team retreated from the pitch, and into the locker rooms. That was okay, there was far too much alcohol and drunk women in there for you to be allowed in, being underage still. So you went home. Despite practically winning the Champions League for Barcelona, you just ordered an Uber and took yourself home, flicking Alexia a quick text to tell her you’d left.

You got back to the shared apartment and struggled your way through a shower before crashing into bed, and crying. Bawling. Sobbing. Shaking. At one point, screaming.

Over the past two weeks, you had gone through a lot of the stages of grief, but most recently, anger. 

Why? Why had it had to happen to them? What had they done so wrong that the universe needed to kill them? Why you? Why them? You couldn’t remember your last words to them either, so nowadays any time someone left, you made sure to say a real goodbye. 

You had passed out after around 2 hours of violent crying, having cried so hard at one point you’d had to lean over the bed to be sick in the wastebasket between your nightstand and the mattress. It felt good, as your mamí had always said, better out than in. It also made you feel a tiny bit better about the sandwiches earlier too.

It wasn’t until 10am the next day Alexia stumbled in the front door. She wasn’t drunk anymore, but looked insanely hungover. She cracked the door to your bedroom and looked at you. Really looked at you. 

“Superestrella, we need to talk. There’s something wrong, and you’re going to tell me what it is.”

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a/n: sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger! but i just want to see how well this goes before launching into a second part. feedback would be greatly appreciated, but of course please be kind! 

requests for a part 2 (or any other requests): here

[graysnetwork]

i was watching Gilmore girls at the beginning of the year i think and then i suddenly got the urge to watch again, so i'm finally on the last episode of season 2. Im completely in love with Tristan but at the moment i'm loving jess (i also searched up jess edits on tiktok and i've spoiled things for myself so i will be debating on skipping that one scene)

Also Ik this is not the best but I hope u guys like it

Warnings— none

Summary— Jess is turning into a great student and Luke not lorelai can think of a reason he’s become an amazing kid all of a sudden.

The library

Two full weeks, two full weeks had gone by now and no calls from the school had been made to Luke's phone. This was more concerning than actually getting calls from the school. And another notable thing was that Jess started leaving every day at the same time 6:30 and he'd come back home at 9:30 or even earlier.

Luke was getting suspicious but he didn't exactly know how to bring it up since it was very possible he was cheating on his tests, maybe copying off some one else for work. So he decided he'd mention it another day, and every time that decided day came by he'd put it off again, and again.

the two of them were in the diner, it was surprisingly very quiet, there was only one person which was also surprising and then the person walked out. Jess started cleaning up the table before checking his watch.

6:15

He dropped the towel and rushed upstairs, he came back down with a backpack, had he been hiding that thing?

"where are you goin?" Luke asked, finally looking up from the counter “somewhere.” “what do you have in there?” “some things” he shrugged and opened the door, before he could even get one foot out the door he could hear Luke’s heavy steps get closer to him, he turned around again.

“What do you have in there” Luke said again, “why do you wanna know, it’s nothing important” Jess rolled his eyes and checked his watch again.

6:20

“I’ve never even seen you come outside with a backpack, and I need to know if you’re stealing things again” Luke gave him an annoyed stare, Jess unzipped the the bag and showed the books in his backpacks.

“Oh” Luke muttered, and looked over to the side “happy? Cause I need to get going” he zipped the bag up again. “where have you been going?” Luke sighed, it was time he got the truth.

“why do you wanna know?” Jess rolled his eyes again, “because I gotta know these things” another sigh came out of Luke, and Jess mumbled something. It took a good few minutes to get him to admit.

“I’m goin to the library”

He said it quietly but at least it was coherent.

———

“You’re late” you smiled as Jess sat down in front of you, “I know, I’m sorry, Luke wouldn’t let me go until I told him where I was going and what I was bringing” he smiled back at you and took out his books. “well, you’re here now, that’s what matters to me, now what’s today? math?” You smiled again and the two of you started opening your books.

“Today is math day” jess nodded and started reading your math notes.

———

“Jess, in the library? Is he meeting behind it and doing something?” Lorelai drank her coffee, “I didn’t think about that” Luke said as he gave her a doughnut.

The moment very quickly ended when Jess came in and quickly went upstairs without saying a word, Luke and Lorelai could hear the thud from Jess’s backpack hitting the floor.

Jess came back down and grabbed a doughnut; pink icing. Very weird to the two adults in the diner. Unknowing to them the only reason he grabbed it was because you swore that the pink icing on the doughnuts taste different.

———

“So anything new and interesting happening?” You asked as you and Jess walked around after studying, it was the quickest you’ve ever studied but that was because it was English, all jess had to do was read and write some answers.

“no, but, if you call getting a new shipments for the diner interesting, than yes, there something new happening” he smiled at you, “sounds very interesting” you smiled back at him.

“what about you?” Jess turned to you again “what about me? Nothing” you shrugged “cmon there’s gotta be something that’s happened so far this week” Jess said, “there’s nothing, nothings happened, and im 100 percent sure nothings gonna happen” you smiled again at him.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled “how about I give you something to look forward to then since you’re free” Jess’s brows perked up, “really? how?” your hand reached up and grabbed his that was on your shoulder.

“how bout you, me, and chinese food, and we can do it on, Friday? You said your parents are leaving on Friday right?” He smiled as you two got closer to Luke’s diner.

“yeah, my parents are going on Friday.. that sounds like a plan” you smiled “it’s a date” he smiled. “Cmon I’ll walk you home” he walked past the diner “thanks Jess” you wrapped your arm around his waist as the two of you continued you way down the street.

-

“Did I see that right?” Lorelai’s eyes were wide and her brows were furrowed, “wow” Luke said, it was the only thing that could be uttered at the moment as they had just seen; You and Jess walking together.

“That must be why he’s going to the library so much! y/n’s always at the library!” Her mouth hung open in shock, it was silent for a few moments “y’know what, this is good” like said as he nodded while drinking his coffee.

“This is good?” She looked at him confused, “yes, he’s doing good in school, and it seems like he really likes y/n, as long as he isn’t hurting her, or doing bad things than I’m happy about this” Luke smiled “I guess this is good..” Lorelai smiled back at him.

———

[tobyscloset]

I am going to talk about my favourite things from chaos theory and of course, the downsides, and my personal opinions!! (Opinions based around the benrius/yasammy topic) So major spoilers ahead under the cut!

Goodsides :D

While chaos theory is a kids show, it definitely displays more mature content, something camp cretaceous did not show! This includes blood, and visual character death (Daniel Kons was specifically gruesome), and description of mental issues, this is specifically PTSD, implied depressive states and breakdowns, the show dives deep into the world of surprise, watching it i was shocked in a good way when a scene came up. Kenji's breakdown was perfectly animated and portrayed.

Each character never faded into the background and they were all equally focused on throughout the season. The show also focused on relationships between the campers, and their families. Specifically Sammy's. Each character has their own comical relief line even when in a dangerous situation. The campers never matured, only grew, they stayed themselves and still act as a group! Same way they did on Nublar.

The plot twists are bonkers, I was not expecting the DPW to be up to sketchy business, nor did I expect suddenly blossoming romance between characters. The budget is definitely higher than it was with camp cretaceous, I couldn't tell if some scenes were animated or real. Beautifully portrayed landscapes.

Overall, the show deserved every amazing rating and my personal rating is an 11/10.

Downsides D:

My first itch was the one-sided romance with Darius and Brooklynn. It certainly was a plot twist but I feel that it was absolutely unnecessary and could've been kept platonic. I feel it would be more heartbreaking and deep if Darius sent her voice messages as a friend, telling her that he's sorry and telling her things about his day. That one scene threw me off on the episode, not because I'm an angry benrius shipper but because it very much could've been kept platonic and felt unnecessary, but was written and played into perfectly. I have absolutely no criticism of the actual writing.

(this was talked about on the discord) - It feels like Brooklynn used to be independent and a baddie in camp cretaceous until she started becoming the love interest, and then it felt like she just became dependent on Kenji and unable to do things herself, so I am hoping that if we get a season 2, that we really get to see Brooklynn not be the love interest and work independently. And I genuinely hope that it won't turn out into another klance situation with Brooklynn, because she was super overhated before, and some angry benrius/benji shippers WILL hate her for "getting in the way of a mlm ship", which is not the case.

My last point was with Darius' health. Darius never got that shine through and we really never got to see how he coped with Brooklynn's death or after the island. They show little cracks but never unpack his full health, which I do hope we get to see in future seasons.

Other than those three points, I really do have nothing to criticise because it was perfect.

Personal opinions/hopes on ships :3

I really do hope we get to see more yasammy content specifically how they build up their relationship more, especially comforting scenes like we got in Ben's soggy van. And Sammy telling Yaz about her family not being in contact, and I would really love to see their relationship play out further and elaborate on the family situation!! :)

-

As I autismed a little too hard and have had a hyperfixation on Benrius since 2021(?), it's not to say I didn't have my hopes up for their relationship in chaos theory, but I also can't say that I expected them to be canon. What maybe the directors could've done is provide that teeny bit of fan-headcanons, because from what I've seen, alot of people from the fandom headcanoned Ben as a gay man, so instead of a girlfriend he would've had a boyfriend. Or they could have Ben lie about the girlfriend because he may have worked out he likes boys, and has internalised homophobia. But back to benrius, they had ALOT of chemistry in camp cretaceous, and for me it was a little disappointing that their relationship dwindled down a little. What I am hoping (manifesting) is that Ben realises his feelings for Darius, and has issues coming out to him and confessing.

Despite my opinions and criticism, the show is definitely worth the watch and deserves every thumbs up from the viewers. I thank everyone who worked on chaos theory and put their best effort into it. 11/10 show. Thank you.

[elihashadenough]

Pairing: max verstappen x male reader (could be read by masc presenting people)

Summary: sometimes things go right in the moment but will they always be right? can they survive through the hardships of love? can their love hold the test of a treacherous path of love?

a/n: part 4 is here, i just wanted to take a moment and just say thank you to everyone showing love to all of my fics and yeah i hope you enjoy it :)

-> do not repost, copy or translate my works nor post them anywhere else. Read at your own risk. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated.

[series masterlist]

www.formula1news/redbulldriversinaromanticrelationship

Prepare yourselves for a revelation that could rock the foundations of the racing world. Fresh off yesterday's adrenaline-pumping race, an anonymous source has spilled the beans with compelling evidence, painting a scandalous picture of Redbull's rivalry duo. Forget podium celebrations; the two Redbull drivers weren't just celebrating their victories to an entirely unexpected level, engaging in intimate moments, sharing more than just victories. Brace yourselves, folks, because it appears the track rivalry has taken an unexpected turn into the realm of romance.

The whispers of the newfound romance between the two Redbull drivers are rippling through the media. Forget the professional facade; it seems that the thrill of victory has ignited a different kind of spark between the two Redbull racers. The photos and evidence speak volumes, capturing elusive moments that beg the question: are they more than just teammates?

In the cutthroat world of Formula 1, where rivalries are forged on the track, this off-track revelation is bound to send shockwaves. 'Friends' don't usually blur the lines between celebration and intimacy, and this newfound closeness could spell trouble for the Redbull team. With both star drivers romantically entangled, the impact on their on-track performance and the team dynamic is poised to be nothing short of sensational this season.

As the smokescreen of camaraderie lifts, the real question arises: will the on-track rivalry morph into a personal one? The last race already provided a glimpse into the friction between the drivers, and it seems the drama is just getting started. Will the asphalt become the stage for not only racing prowess but also a battleground for love and tension?

And let's not forget the intrigue surrounding Y/n, whose rumoured involvement with the Redbull driver were put to rest by his manager a couple seasons ago. One cannot help but think could this 'relationship' be the catalyst behind Y/n's abrupt shift from Ferrari to Redbull? The pieces of this scandalous puzzle are falling into place, unveiling a narrative that transcends the not so typical drama of the racing world.

Examining their career trajectories adds fuel to the fire. Y/n's journey began with a bang, securing P2 in his final Formula 2 race before joining McLaren in the 2016 season. After a brief stint, he spent seven years with Ferrari before the unexpected transfer to Redbull. Max, on the other hand, made his Formula 1 debut with Scuderia Toro Rosso in 2015, solidifying his place with Redbull in 2016 and staying put ever since.

The burning question remains: will this on-and-off track relationship sizzle into an exhilarating love story, or will it flame out in spectacular fashion? The impact on team dynamics and on-track relationships is poised to be monumental. Fasten your seatbelts, F1 fans – the next race might just be the battleground for love, rivalry, and everything in between. What are your predictions for this unprecedented twist in the Redbull saga? Share your thoughts as we watch this high-speed drama unfold on and off the track.

i haven't proof read this so if there were any mistakes, i'm sorry. But i hope you all enjoyed this, it took alot of effort and i'm very excited to post this. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❤️

tag list: @leosxrealm, @miloformula123fan

(you can send in an ask to be added to the tagging list)

[airbender-dacyon]

Benlynn Parallels & Analysis

Alright, so this is by no means an exhaustive list, just what I am able to recall right now, but here's some of the Ben & Brooklynn parallels I noticed from Season 1 of Chaos Theory, as well as a few under the cut that are speculation based on trailers and promos from Season 2 (so spoiler warning for those). And I ended up doing more analysis on this than I intended, whoops.

Apologies for the long post, but I wanted to keep any spoilers under the cut and this ended up being much longer than I planned. I also apologize because it's been a minute since I've been able to watch Camp Cretaceous in its entirety and a bit since I last watched S1 of Chaos Theory so I hope my memory is right on most of this.

Also, this is meant to just be a fun post. It is a ship post, but I also acknowledge that the parallels likely don't mean anything beyond they're friends with shared interests/similar traits (if they even mean that).

Dark Jurassic Nerds

"What about that website I showed you?" "OMG. Dark Jurassic? Yes. Amazing." "Isn't it?"

Ben, in a surprising twist to me, was the one to discover Dark Jurassic. When Camp Cretaceous ended, I wouldn't have guessed he would be the one to become invested in a social media site. I will say that it makes sense that Brooklynn, having grown up as a social media influencer, was staying away from social media more after the Nublar Six returned home and that she didn't come across Dark Jurassic sooner. Regardless, the pair are both heavily invested in the website, though Brooklynn seems to have vetted the theories more than Ben, given her interaction with Yaz:

So it seems like Ben had a habit of sending a lot of stuff he found interesting her way, but only a few things, like the Dino Immersion Therapy, Brooklynn found to be legit.

2. "Okay, at first, I was like, ugh. But this view!"

I still think it is surprising that between Ben's flashback and Kenji's flashback, Brooklynn expresses more excitement over the view of a pretty ordinary skyline from the rooftop of a college dormitory that Ben shows her during her surprise visit than she does the bioluminescent Parasaurolophus at sunset amidst cliffs and a waterfall that her boyfriend of 5+ years had planned as a big romantic gesture.

We don't know the exact date when Brooklynn visited Ben at college, so I fully admit that probably plays a big part in the difference in Brooklynn's reaction. Since this is shortly after Ben introduced Brooklynn to Dark Jurassic and we know that 1) Brooklynn visited Yaz 14 months before the start of Season 1 and 2) Kenji broke up with Brooklynn shortly before (at least a few weeks, I believe) her apparent death roughly 6 months before S1, the Benlynn flashback takes place at least 14 months before S1, probably even earlier than that. Heck, it might be 18-24 months before S1. So, obviously Brooklynn is in a much healthier headspace in Ben's flashback whereas she had become obsessed with uncovering the dinosaur trafficking conspiracy by the time of Kenji's flashback, resulting in her indirectly neglecting her relationship with him.

3. Funny Stories, Personal Questions, & Other Shared Interests?

"Uh, yeah. College is great, but sometimes I gotta get outside just to feel like I can breathe." "Weird how it can be so hard to feel normal, now that everything is so... normal." "See those Pteranodons up there?" "Uh-huh." "One of them grabbed a freshman's backpack and took off with it." "No way." "She had to tell her professor that a dinosaur ate her homework." [Brooklynn laughs] "What?" "That's really funny." "Well, not to her. She failed her assignment." [Brooklynn laughs harder] "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry, that's really sad." [Snorts] "That's sad." "The point is, I don't know if there's such a thing as normal anymore." "Yeah."

It hadn't been my intention to quote such a large chunk of the flashback, but I do find it interesting how this interaction between these two played out. Ben & Brooklynn had only a handful of scenes - more accurately, a handful of interactions - together in Camp Cretaceous. And so to see these two alone together and enjoying each other's company was refreshing to see. Again, this isn't a 'they shared a moment together, now they're going to end up together' post. The fact that there was a significant flashback that highlighted how Ben & Brooklynn get along, despite not being one of the other's closest friends within the Nublar Six, was a stellar choice. They could have easily done for Ben what they did with Sammy: a very brief, but still impactful memory/vision of Brooklynn.

But in this scene, it's neat that Ben is telling the story to reassure Brooklynn that 1) even though they've been home safe from Nublar for years now, their experiences will never go away and 2) prehistoric wildlife is out in the world, "normal" doesn't really exist and they shouldn't expect it to. Like on Nublar, they have to adapt to the new dynamic. But, intentionally or not, Ben is also telling the story in a very humorous way, which results in Brooklynn's laughter. And whether you see the moment as shippy or just friends, it was pretty adorable to see Ben making Brooklynn laugh.

The scene on the rooftop also begins in a rather interesting way, as Ben's dialogue starts by announcing the rooftop view is his favorite spot on campus, followed by why he goes there/gets outside. So, presumably, Brooklynn had asked him how college was going. And after the Pteranodon story, Ben does something unique to the flashbacks we've seen in Season 1.

He asks Brooklynn how she's been doing.

"Anyway, how's everything with you? Any cool stories you're working on? Wrongs to be righted? Buried truths to be uncovered?" [Laughs] "Trying. It is hard out there for a reformed "social media influencer turned aspiring investigative journalist."

Now again, I fully recognize this is the easiest catalyst in the flashback to introduce Brooklynn's interest/activity in Dark Jurassic. And I also fully recognize that we haven't seen Darius' flashback with Brooklynn yet and Sammy's vision/memory of Brooklynn is too short to really compare to the other three we've seen so far.

However, in Yaz's flashback, we see Brooklynn is the one helping her with the Dino Immersion Therapy and inquiring about how she's doing, why she's there instead of Sammy, etc. And in Kenji's flashback, we see that he's so excited to share the view he's discovered with Brooklynn. And when she is too distracted (presumably by her mission) to acknowledge the beauty of the moment, Kenji breaks up with her and his dialogue suggests this has been happening for a while.

The video recordings of the earlier Kenlynn date and when the Nublar Six returned home at least give us a glimpse into happier times. But with regards to the flashbacks, while Brooklynn is likely there to check up on her friend (unannounced and strangely late in the evening from the looks of it), Ben's flashback is the only one where the focus seems to be on both characters equally rather than Brooklynn acting in a supporting/secondary role in the scene.

A much smaller parallel, likely unintentional, is that Ben and Brooklynn seem to (almost) have matching outfits in the flashback.

Continuing from that, and acknowledging similar outfits is already a stretch, I guess there is a parallel with music? Kinda?

We see in Brooklynn's video call to Darius that she is wearing what looks like a band/album T-shirt and Ben has become quite the fan of rock music. Some of the concept art for Ben's dorm room also showcased several band posters, if I recall correctly.

So, while not a certainty, it seems they could have also developed a connection through similar music tastes, though this is a fair bit of speculation.

4. Boots

Another parallel that's a stretch, but Ben eating food out of a boot seemed really, really odd when it was introduced. Perhaps out of desperation, maybe he accidentally broke his last bowl or ran out of disposable ones? Who knows. An odd choice, especially with the later Ruby Ropes container conversation being weird enough on its own that the food boot seemed excessive.

But then it was shown that Brooklynn also had an unfortunate boot-related habit, though fortunately nowhere near as disgusting. Kenji trips over one of her boots and comments on it, with Darius also having suffered from the problem:

"She was always leaving these in the middle of the floor. It was so annoying. I was so afraid I was gonna-" "Break your neck?" "Did she do that when she was staying with you after we broke up?" [Chuckles] "I swear she did it just to annoy us."

Again, this one's a big stretch, but it felt like a possibility.

5. A specific set of skills

Or, rather, just one skill. I can't remember if any other members of the Nublar Six ever picked any locks throughout the shows, but Ben having a set of dedicated lock picks was an interesting development. All of the N6 have picked up new skills in the time between CC and CT, but Ben's activities - and this skill in particular - seem to mirror a lot of Brooklynn's.

6. Conspiracy Boards

Again, going back to the fact that Brooklynn was more interested in legitimate stories and credible theories, Ben's board is quite a mess while Brooklynn's is more refined. Ben's looking into all the possibilities, no matter how ridiculous they might be, whereas Brooklynn is focused on (presumably) unraveling the dinosaur trafficking conspiracy and anything else nefarious that might be going on in relation to it.

7. Season 1 Bookends (unused)

I don't want to repost the art without permission and I really want to get the post up today, so credit to Brandon Roberts in this concept art post here. It shows Ben on his laptop in his dorm room.

However, I will provide the description Brandon Roberts gave, as well as the confirmation by Scott Kreamer on the post:

This would have been an interesting parallel and way to bookend the season: opening with Ben on Dark Jurassic getting vague messages and closing out with Ronnie sending vague messages to someone on Dark Jurassic and the reveal that it's Brooklynn.

And only time will tell if there is something real between these two. Or it might all be just an illusion.

"There's definitely some pretty out-there stuff on there, but every so often there's something that seems, I don't know..." "Real?" "Real."

And aside from the spoilery speculation below, I think this might be it. There could be other parallels I'd thought of previously, but as of right now, this is all I can remember. If you made it this far, thanks for reading my inane ramblings. I hope you enjoyed!

Also, shoutouts to @p0m0u and @kitabearuwu for being the inspiration for me falling down the Benlynn rabbit hole and continued inspiration since (we'll see if I can get my Benlynn fic done by tomorrow), especially their posts here, here, here, and here. And special thanks to @p0m0u for letting me use the beautiful gifs she made in this post!

Spoilers for Season 2 Trailers & Promo material under the cut!

Starting from what I feel is the weakest parallel to the strongest:

8. Why are you holding that in your mouth?

When I saw the tweezers or tool or whatever fall from Brooklynn's mouth, I swear I'd seen Ben do something like it before in the show. I tried to scour Season 1 of CT to find it, but to no avail. I then remembered where I'd seen something similar, back in Season 4 of CC. Again, leading with the weakest parallel here, but like the boots, I find it interesting and odd that both of them have held things in their mouths - and these are things that probably shouldn't be held in their mouths - only to drop them at some point during the scene. Ben's out of relief that the BRAD is gone, Brooklynn's potentially by whoever is breaking into her location (if the clips immediately before and after are part of the same scene).

9. You're great and I like you, but...

Given that it looks like we'll have a Darius and Brooklynn flashback finally, I have to wonder, will it play out in a similar vein to the Ben & Yaz moment in S4 of CC? We know that Ben mistook Yaz's interest in getting him away from Kenji & Brooklynn so that Kenlynn could develop as romantic interest. What if we see Brooklynn realize Darius' growing affection for her and makes it clear in a similar way?

I'm not saying we'll get a "Darius, look, you're a great guy and I like you. But I just don't like like you." But possibly something similar.

10. What? You've never seen a ghost before?

We'll see if this turns out to be another 'back from the dead' moment or not, but it has that kind of vibe to me. And I have to credit @p0m0u for pointing it out to me originally. Fingers crossed, it seems like a perfect setup for Ben's line to make a comeback!

And I think that's everything for now!

[simpingforthemm]

Could I have a carmen Aziza fic where Yn is new to the prison and she always feels like someone’s staring at her and one day she catches carmen staring at her and gets really flustered then carmen starts flirting with her and becomes posessive over her then one day she drags Yn to the library and kisses her and basically confesses how she wants Yn all for herself

my love, mine all mine

my love mine all mine - mitski

word count: 5.9k

warnings: obsessive, possessive and protective behavior, flirting, kissing, toxic behavior, a bit of violence, threats, cursing, stalking, harry potter part 2 hate (I'm truly sorry)

summary: y/n is new to the prison and always feels like she is being watched. one night in the tv room, she turns around to the person who is watching her, only then realizing how gorgeous her observer is. they form a bond through several sets of events, slowly falling for each other. y/n slowly gets to know ouija's protective and possessive nature and at one birthday party of y/n's bunkmate, that behavior hits its peak. provocated by jealousy, frustration and confusing feelings, ouija makes a messy confession, explaining how she wants y/n all to herself

a/n: heyy, sorry that this took so long! I had a lot going on with school and writer's block so that I literally had no motivation to write. Anyway, I put a lot of work into this and I hope you like it (pls tell me what you think!!). I hope the flirting isn't too awkward, I'm still figuring out how to do that. I hope you enjoy and that I've done your idea justice. also this takes place in season 4

You were walking towards the entrance of Litchfield Penitentiary, the prison where you would be spending the next 3 years of your life. You had been charged with drug trafficking and distribution, all because some scared little snitch who didn't want to go to prison had ratted the whole cartel out. Even your drug lord was now facing a sentence of 9 years. 9 fucking years.

Your lawyer, who had defended you in trial, had been really shitty and literally just gave up on you. He didn't even try to make your sentence shorter, that sorry excuse of a man. Lazy fuck.

Morello, the weird Italian lady who drove you and some other people down to the prison, opened the gate and let you and the other new inmates inside. You couldn't believe you were now an "inmate", it was so weird to think of yourself that way.

"Welcome home everyone!", she exclaimed, giving you an encouraging smile.

You were lucky to get out of the cold van, it was January after all and since it had already snowed, the temperature had dropped down several degrees. So it was a relief to step into the warmer walls of the prison, not having to freeze your ass off in the snow.

The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the halls was how crowded it was. You were tempted to just turn around and run, trying to escape the stuffy air and suffocating feeling that was slowly spreading inside of you. Other inmates were constantly passing your little group, shooting you intimidating glances or smiling dangerously at you. You were uncomfortable, but not scared.

It just reminded you of the halls of your high school back then. Loud, uncomfortable and always overfilled. And god, the popular girls who used to bully you. To say the least, you were used to this.

Morello guided you through the prison, showing you where the commissary, bathrooms and everything else was. You were just passing the TV room, looking inside for a second when you made eye contact with a brown haired woman. The woman frowned at you, looking you up and down. You frowned back and kept walking, turning away from the door.

What the fuck was that?

You sighed and shook your head, telling yourself not to think too much of it. It had only been a small encounter, nothing too significant. At least not enough to get you in trouble. For now.

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You were shown to your dorm, where you occupied the bunk above a woman named Brandy Epps. It was obvious she was extremely racist, you even heard her discussing something about "white lives matter" or "white pride", which you took as a sign to stay the fuck away from her. She continued to make dirty comments about other inmates in the prison while you were busy making your bed.

You turned around to listen to her when you were done, staring at her in disgust and listening to the insults that were coming out of her mouth so easily. You shook your head in disbelief.

You must've been staring at her for too long as the woman turned around, obviously pissed off.

"You got some kind of problem?", she questioned threateningly, getting closer to where you were standing.

"No", you huffed, looking away. You really didn't want to start any trouble on your first day. Best to avoid tricky situations.

"Good. I see you staring like that again, we got a problem, you hear me?"

You sighed. You should've known people would have anger issues in here. That people would get aggressive over the smallest things, because they didn't have anything better to do. Because prison was a shithole and it was fucking tiring to simply just exist there. You certainly didn't want to end up like her, but you feared you were going to have no choice in the future.

"Sure."

Before she could say anything else, you made your way to the cafeteria for dinner.

Due to the prison's overcrowding, the blocks were divided up at each meal. You and your block ate with Cell Block C or the so-called "Spanish Harlem", as Morello had already explained to you.

With your plate of food in hand, you sat down at the end of some table and started eating. You were extremely hungry, exhausted from the stress of arriving in the prison.

Suddenly, you felt two pairs of eyes burn holes into your back and you just knew someone was staring at you. You forced yourself to not turn around, not wanting to start a fight on your first day. One never knew what could happen in prison, you might get jumped just because you sat in the wrong seat or stared at someone the wrong way, almost like it did with the racist bitch back in your dorm.

It made you uncomfortable but you focused on the disgusting brown liquid in front of you that was supposed to be "chili con carne", forcing it down your throat and hoping, no praying, that that person was going to leave you alone.

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The next few days you felt as if you were being watched the entire time, feeling that burning sensation in your back again. There wasn't a single moment where you didn't turn around every single second while walking to the showers or the cafeteria.

You were extremely paranoid.

But every time you did, there were always too many people in the halls to really make out someone who could be stalking you.

So you just kept on going about your day, minding your business.

Until you couldn't anymore.

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It was Friday night, which today should've been movie night, but it got canceled and now everyone was in a bad mood. It wasn't often that something nice like this happened and it was a good escape from the tiring everyday routine the inmates had in the prison. You got to watch cool movies, eat snacks from the commissary and chill with your friends.

Instead, you were now sitting in the tv room, just reading your book in a chair next to Morello, who had unfortunately forced you to come along.

"Come on, Y/N! I promise it'll be fun. You can bring your boring book, even though it is a TV room, meaning you go there to watch TV and not to…read. Usually. But I'm sure they'll make an exception!", she had said to you after finding you alone on your bunk, wrapped in your blanket. You had rolled your eyes at her but gotten up from your bunk nevertheless, admitting defeat.

You had actually been enjoying the silence in your dormitory from everyone being gone, but of course, that just had to be interrupted.

Now you were sitting there, amongst all those other people, just trying to read your book in peace. But, and honestly what else did you expect, there was the piercing set of eyes again, just watching your every move. You were actually so sick of it now. Why was this person looking at you the whole time? Why were you so interesting?

This time, you actually decided to turn around and not ignore them like you had done the other times.

You spotted her immediately. It was the woman who had frowned at you on your first day! The woman with the brown hair!

And now she was smirking at you. How was she not looking away or ashamed that you caught her?

Your eyes widened as you slowly scanned her. She was drop-dead-gorgeous. She had curves that were to die for, these stunning dark brown eyes…

You felt yourself blush and turned away. God, hadn't you promised yourself to not find anyone attractive here? Especially not people that could possibly be dangerous?

Well, you had just failed miserably and pathetically.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Someone pulled a chair up in front of you, sitting on it backwards, using the back of the chair as an armrest.

You were looking down on the ground, burying your face in your book when a finger hooked itself under your chin, tilting it up.

The drop-dead-gorgeous woman was right in front of you, her eyes scanning your face, biting her lip.

She outstretched her hand to you.

"Ouija. Nice to meet you." Her eyes shone with something you couldn't quite decipher.

"Y/N", you introduced yourself, feeling shy in front of this beautiful woman, shaking her hand. She held onto it a little longer than normal, looking you directly in your eyes.

"That's a beautiful name."

She flashed you an amused smile, recognizing your anxiousness.

"Yo, there's no need to be shy, chica" (cutie/girl), Ouija said while moving in a little closer.

"Not for a pretty girl like you at least.", she said with a lowered voice.

She smiled at you once again and you felt your cheeks heat up.

"Thank you", you mumbled, not really knowing what else to say.

Ouija smirked.

"You're welcome, muñequita" (dolly)

Fuck.

"Anyhow, what you in for, mama?", she asked, slowly leaning back again as if she didn't just audibly make you gasp.

"Drug trafficking and distribution", you answered, avoiding her gaze.

"Yo, damn! So you a 'little miss drug dealer' then?" She laughed.

"Certainly. Right hand woman of my drug lord, thank you very much", you responded, bowing your head a little. She chuckled, shaking her head.

"Impressive, yo. I like a woman in power. It's hot."

You felt yourself blush again. God, this woman somehow had the ability to make you flustered very easily.

"So, what did you do?", you questioned.

"WIC Fraud. I killed three somebody's - nobodies -", she pointed to a tattoo that she had right next to her eye, three black teardrops, "and then I get popped for fucking fraud. You believe that shit?"

You shook your head, confused as to how they didn't find out about her killing all those people but charged her for the fraud. Maybe if you had committed another crime besides the drug thing and turned yourself in, you would be facing less time. You were suddenly deep in your thoughts, wondering about that, so that you didn't notice Ouija standing up beside you.

"All right, mama, I'mma let you get back to your book here. We'll see each other around", she said optimistically.

Ouija walked back to her seat, but not without winking at you and letting her hand brush against your arm.

You didn't get the chance to ask why she had been staring at you this whole time before really introducing herself to you, but right now, that matter seemed pretty unimportant to you. You felt starstruck from the interaction with the latina, just staring at the words in your book and not being able to focus at all. The conversation had been way too short and you already wanted to talk to her more.

But what you didn't know is that you wouldn't have to wait long until the two of you would speak again. Carmen had taken a liking to you and she was ready to explore what might develop between you two. At least she already knew that she was capable of making your cheeks go red within a matter of seconds.

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You were doing research in the library, or more like trying to find one of your favorite books, Harry Potter. You were trying to find some comfort in this cold place and what better way to do it than with your favorite literature? You wandered through the fiction aisle, scanning through the books.

There it was, on the highest shelf. But, of course, as expected, you were not tall enough to reach it. You felt so incredibly pathetic right now, there was no chair in sight to help you, no stool for you to stand on.

„Yo, need some help there?“, you heard someone ask. You turned around to the voice.

It was Ouija. She was leaning against one of the shelves, smirking at your attempts to stand on your tiptoes to grab the book, of course failing miserably.

„Yes, please“, you said, just a tad embarassed.

„Which book?“, she asked.

„Harry Potter“

She nodded, reaching up, taking it out without any strain.

„So, the goblet of fire“, she said, twisting the book in her hands.

„It was one of my favorite books growing up. I’m already done with all of the books I was allowed to bring in here so I thought I’d do a little nostalgia trip“

Your fingertips touched as she passed you the book.

„I liked it too as a little kid. But my favorite book was always the chamber of secrets“

„Girl – no offense – but are you serious?“

Ouija frowned, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

„What do you mean?“, she questioned, crossing her arms in front of her face.

You smiled, shaking your head.

„Nah, I don’t want to destroy your favorite childhood book for you. I have a very strong opinion when it comes to Harry Potter.“

„No worries, yo, I can handle it. Give it to me“, Ouija said lowly, tilting her head. You bit your lip, rubbing your hands together, getting ready to go.

„Well, I think Ginny’s absolutely insufferable in that book, I mean sure, she was influenced by Voldemort but still, I think it’s not right that she played the „weak, needing to be saved“ girl in that book. It’s not exactly feminist. Also I think the book doesn’t really add to the series, it’s just kind of there as a „filler“ or an information dump. Also, the thing with the diary is just unrealistic. Why wouldn’t anyone notice that it’s in Ginny’s posession? It just doesn’t make sense.“

You grit your teeth in worry, hoping you didn’t go to far.

„I’m sorry, was that too far?“, you asked.

„Nah, I think you’re right actually. Yo, I might have to rethink my favorite childhood book“, Ouija laughed, rubbing her neck.

„I’d be happy to help. I know quite a lot about the series actually“, you explained proudly.

„I figured. That pretty face can convince me of anything, man, I’m sure“

You looked down, trying to hide the blush spreading on your cheeks.

„Don’t hide it“, Ouija said, tilting your chin up. You looked up into her beautiful dark brown eyes, getting lost in them.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was late in the afternoon, the sun was already setting and the inmates had a few hours left to catch some air outside before the prison would close its gates, making it time for lights out. You had put on your winter coat and beanie, ready to take a little stroll in the yard. Your hands were covered in thick gloves, protecting you from the harsh January wind

Today, you were just going to take a little stroll around the yard, not that anything else was really possible here. You wish you would have some kind of space to run, get rid of all the energy that you weren’t able to put to use properly.

You were just about to round the corner at the mailbox when you heard a noise.

You stopped in your tracks when you heard someone sniffle and sob.

Frowning, you started walking towards the sound and soon you were able to make out the person who they were coming from. They had brown curly hair - Oh shit! Ouija! You stopped yourself before you were going to run over to her and make sure she's okay.

You were unsure if you should approach her at such a sensitive time.

You wouldn't know how she was going to react, the two of you had known each other barely a hot second.

But you knew that if you were alone and crying in a prison and the person discovering you had good intentions, you would want to be comforted too. And that was good enough for you. You hoped you were making the right decision.

"Ouija, hey, what's wrong?", you asked worriedly, slowly kneeling down beside her.

Her head snapped up, her eyes widening when she realized it was you. She quickly wiped her tears away, trying to find her composure. You couldn’t help but admire her, she was even pretty when she cried, her lashes were stuck together, her cheeks were flushed… God, wrong moment!! Get it together Y/N...

"Oh shit. Hey, didn't hear you coming. Yo, how's it going?"

"I'm fine, but you don't seem to be. What's the matter?"

"Nah, I'm fine, nothing to worry about", she said quickly. You raised your eyebrows, not believing anything she said.

"What? I said I’m fine, man“, Ouija spat, putting up all her defenses.

"Look, I know we don’t really know each other, but I’m not gonna judge you for showing emotion or opening up. It’s human.“

Ouija huffed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Fuck, fine. Shit, you're stubborn, girl. It's my son. He's in the hospital because of some gang activity in his block and…I'm not there for him, man. I'm in fucking prison. And I can't do anything about it."

You sighed. You knew what she was talking about. You felt the same. Being in prison made you feel so stuck, even though you had only been there for a few days. You weren’t there for your loved ones, the world around you kept turning and changing while you were locked away. Your friends had also seemingly already forgotten about you. Maybe they were all just glad you were gone.

"Honestly, I get it. I have a little sister, she just turned 5. She's growing up so fast and in a year, she'll already be in primary school. I'm missing out on her making her first friends there, I can't help her with her homework or comfort her when she has a bad day. It's torture. So yeah, I can relate. Nothing bad happened to her yet, fortunately, but you know the world out there. I can’t protect her from the harm she might experience out there."

The two of you were silent for a second, saying nothing.

"The thing is, you can't change anything about it. As much as it sucks, you gotta figure out how to deal with that shit. You gotta trust that your son knows you love him and that you being in here has nothing to do with him."

That flipped a switch in Ouija. She did love her son, a lot. She had just got to find a way to show it to him, especially right now. A small smile spread on her face as an idea popped up in her head.

She felt your hand touch her back, stroking it slowly.

Ouija turned to you, the woman who she had been obsessed with ever since she had entered the walls of this prison. The woman who she had frowned at when she made eye contact with her at her first day. The woman who frowned back. She knew that you knew that she had watched you the first few days upon your arrival. You were just so mesmerizing to her, she somehow felt drawn to you.

"Inmates! Back inside!", you heard a guard shout loudly. You sighed. The roughness of the CO's was still something you had to get used to.

"Yo, we should probably go before it gets serious or some shit. You never know if these fuckers are gonna pull out a gun or not", Ouija said, outstretching her hand to you, desperate to get you away from possible danger.

You nodded, letting her help you up.

As you were about to walk past the guard, you noticed that your shoe was untied. You stopped, reaching down to tie it, but the CO was not having it.

„INMATE! KEEP IT MOVING! I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY, YOU UNDERSTAND??!“, he shouted aggressively, about to yank you up from the ground, when Ouija threw herself inbetween you two.

From your place on the ground, you didn’t hear what she said to the CO or what made him back off of the two of you. You only saw her enraged facial expression as she turned to help you up, once again. You were in a complete state of shock, this being the first time you were properly yelled at by a guard. You felt Ouija wrap an arm around your shoulder, guiding you back inside.

„Inmate Aziza, I would fucking throw you down to the SHU, but I’m fucking exhausted from today so I will let you off EASILY because I’m so nice with just a shot. For the both of you that is!“, he spat at the two of you as you walked back inside.

Ouija saw the broken look on your face and from that point, there was no way in hell that she was ever going to leave your side. She felt protective of you suddenly, she wanted to rip that guard’s head off, no, she wanted to choke him until his words got stuck in his fucking throat for ever talking to you in that way.

She wanted to shield you from any and all bad things in this place. She wanted you to herself, wanted no one fucking near you, except for her. Her hand grabbed your shoulder tighter.

She stood in front of you, so you were facing her. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as your gaze met hers. Your eyes were so beautiful. You were slightly looking up to her, as Ouija was a bit taller than you.

„Hey, yo, are you okay, mama? That guard was pretty rough on you“, she asked you, her voice soft as velvet. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but Ouija wasn’t letting that happen. She grabbed your chin, caressing your cheek with her thumb.

„Yo, no crying, pretty woman, we’ve already had enough of that today.“

„I love that movie“, you chuckled slightly, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt.

„Pretty Woman? White poor woman fucks rich white man and falls in love? Nah, that shit’s too predictable.“

„Exactly. One already knows how the movie ends, but I still like it“

Ouija scoffed, ruffling your hair. She leads you back to your dorm, glaring at Epps as the bald-headed woman was about to harass you again. Epps backed up with raised hands, whispering:

„I wasn’t even about to do anything...“

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You were casually walking to the showers, towel and toiletries in hand. It was 5am in the morning, so the line wasn't long.

You had gotten up early for the hot water, your bunkmate Epps complaining that you were making too much noise, disrupting her very important sleep. There were only 2 hours until she had to get up anyway. Epps luckily hadn’t bothered you too much the past few days, thanks to Ouija, who had given her death glares whenever the two of you had been hanging around each other, which had been quite often. You had spent most of your time with her, she had helped you settle into the prison and made you laugh almost all the time. You had been there for her during all the announcements she got from the hospital about her son and celebrated with her when the doctor told her that he was going to be okay.

You hadn’t really gotten acquainted with any of the other women at the prison, as every time you tried to talk to one of them, you felt Ouija’s glare on the both of you or you got pulled away from the other person because she suddenly „needed to talk to you very urgently“. Of course you knew that she was jealous somehow, even though she had no reason to be. One of the times when she had dragged you away, the two of you had gone to the chapel. Ouija hadn’t said anything as she had taken your hand and pulled you along with her.

She had lifted you onto the stage, where performances or speeches were given, but kept standing on the ground herself. She still stayed silent as she locked eyes with you and slowly ran one of her hands up your thigh. She leaned in a little bit when her hand reached the waistband of your pants, her eyes on your lips. You could basically feel the electricity sizzling between the two of you. It was like the two of you were always meant to end up so close to each other, like this. Your foreheads were already touching, your lips barely inches away from each other, when the door to the chapel slammed shut and the both of you immediately flew off of each other. Pidge was calling for Ouija, telling her that Maria was calling a meeting. Ouija, frustrated, promising you she would be back for you, „continuing where you left of“. And now you were here.

You stepped into one of the shower cabinets, turning on the shower head.

You sighed as the warm water washed over your body, immediately making you sleepy again. You hadn’t slept really well with that racist woman Epps beneath you. You never knew what she might do and you always had to sleep with one eye open. It was exhausting and definitely took a strain on your body.

"Mornin', muñequita."

You turned around to the voice, looking directly into Ouija's eyes. She looked a little sleepy, but her half-closed eyes were still roaming your body, drinking in your frame. With just a look, she was able to to make you sweat, blush, avoid her gaze… it was nerve-wracking. With a towel wrapped around your body, you stepped outside of the shower and towards the fully dressed Ouija.

"Hey there“, you answered, yawning.

"How you doing, mama?"

"I'm good, a little tired still." She nodded understandingly.

"Glad my pretty girl is doing well", she smiled, leaning against the wall.

You blushed a little and looked to your feet, trying to hide your reddened cheeks.

"Yo, come over here, mama", she beckoned.

You looked left and right to check if anyone was there who could possibly see you before you moved out of the shower cabin and over to where Ouija was standing.

As soon as you were standing in front of her Ouija grabbed your shoulders and pulled you close, wrapping her arms around your lower torso. She pressed a kiss to your forehead, allowing you to rest your head on her chest.

„Y/N?“

„Yeah?“

„I wanted to say thanks for the time you found me..you know, crying, and comforted me and shit. I didn’t deserve that and I’m still a shit mom, but I talked to my son on the phone and...he’s coming to visitation next week“

You squealed in excitement, jumping up a little bit, so excited for Ouija.

„Ouija, that’s great! I’m so happy for you!“

You wrapped your arms around her neck , embracing her in a hug.

Ouija grabbed you by your hips and switched positions so that now you were pressed against the wall. Both of her hands were placed next to your head while yours were busy holding up that towel of yours.

„You’re so cute when you’re happy, you know that?“, Ouija asked, biting her bottom lip. She leaned in closer, taking your face inbetween her hands. Your eyes closed in anticipation, ready to finally connect with her, to finally feel the full extent of the electricity between you too. She leaned in, leaned in, you started feeling dizzy of her scent, of her presence...

BANG! The metal door to the showers slammed shut, loud voices coming from the doorway. Ouija immediately let go of you, distancing herself, and as some of the other inmates walked past you and entered the showers, you tried to act as nothing had happened before. You exchanged a frustrated glance with her, were you ever going to be able to kiss?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was your bunkmate Epps' birthday and she made like this whole deal out of it. Almost everyone in this prison was invited, including you and Ouija and almost every single lesbian which was weird, since Epps was definitely homophobic.

But she and her friends did know how to throw a party, you had to leave her that. There was a snack bar with drinks, a dance floor and colorful garlands reading "happy birthday".

You had just entered the overfilled room, completely overwhelmed, not knowing what to do or where to stand or where to sit. You were looking around for Ouija, finding her in a corner of the room, next to Pidge and Zirconia.

She was staring down everyone in the room, a grumpy expression on her face. You know how frustrated she had been the past few days, you were about to kiss two times, but always had been interrupted by one of the other inmates. Privacy was basically non-existent in prison and by now, the two of you were so desperate to kiss, you almost felt like two pathetic lesbian teenage girls.

You were walking towards her, pushing through the crowd, and as you approached them, Zirconia noticed you, her face lighting up.

"Y/N! Hi!", she exclaimed happily.

Ouija's head immediately snapped in your direction and her entire demeanor changed. Her grumpy face disappeared, her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her lips.

"Well, yo, look who showed up!", she said, genuinely happy to see you.

You smiled at her and Pidge.

You looked around for a chair to pull up next to the group, but of course, every single one was taken. This did not go unnoticed by Ouija and she certainly did not seem too unhappy about this fact as her smirk widened.

"Come, muñeca, you can sit here", she said, pointing to her man spread legs. Damn, you thought, really really wanting to, but not being sure if it might be risky. You looked around to see if anyone was looking except for Zirconia and Pidge, but everyone was too focused on themselves to even slightly care about the two of you. And even so, you didn’t care.

You lowered yourself onto her lap and immediately felt her arms tightly wrap around your torso.

„Good girl, put those pretty thighs on me“, she whispered in your ear, her hand stroking your leg softly. Your eyes widened, the familiar blush spreading on your cheeks. „Mi amor, mio todo mio“, (my love, mine all mine) she mumbled, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

The evening progressed without anyone even looking at you. You sat on Ouija’s lap the entire time, wondering how it wasn’t taking a strain on her legs, conversing with her, Zirconia and Pidge. You did not once go to the buffet because you were so immersed in the conversation you were having with them but nevertheless, you were thirsty.

„I’ll just get something to drink really quick, do you want anything?“, you said to Ouija, hopping off of her lap.

„Nah, I’m good, thanks though“

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You were standing at the bar, deciding what drink you were going to get, not that there were a lot of options, this was prison after all. Possibilities weren’t exactly endless.

„Hi there“, a voice greeted you, coming out of nowhere.

You jumped, letting out a little shriek.

„Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you“, the woman next to you said worriedly, but you only laughed.

„It’s fine, I get scared easily.“

„You’re new here right?“, she asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

„Yeah, I arrived here about two weeks ago, so my stay hasn’t exactly been long“

„Ah, so a newbie. That’s why I haven’t seen you around.“

You nodded, conversing in a little small talk with her. You already felt Ouija staring at you, knowing it was because of her protective and posessive nature, but you also wanted friends in here. You needed other people that you could rely on.

The woman, who turned out to be called Carla was telling you funny stories about other prisons she had been at and interactions she had with other inmates there and here at Litchfield.

You laughed loudly, finding her absolutely hilarious. While you and the woman were joking around, Ouija was boiling with anger and jealousy. She tried to keep her cool, „take a fucking chill pill“, like Zirconia had advised her. But it was really hard when she hadn’t even kissed you yet, didn’t even get to call you hers yet. Maybe the possibility of somebody else still being able to snatch you away was giving her the nerves. Maybe she would be more relaxed if she knew you were really hers.

Maybe. But right now, she just wanted to get you the fuck away from that other woman.

As you kept talking with Carla, you felt her put her hand on your waist.

„Um…“, you mumbled, looking over to Ouija. That was Carmen Aziza’s last straw. Nobody would touch her girl, not like that.

She stormed over to where you were standing and pushed the other woman off of you and to the ground where she landed with a loud bang. She stood over the woman, placing her thick boot onto her chest, compromising her airways.

„Touch her again and yo“, she laughed bitterly, „I’ll fuck you up“.

Before you could properly register what was happening, you felt yourself being grabbed by the wrist and pulled away. You didn’t know where you were going, as you were still finding your way around the prison, when you reached the door to the library. It was completely silent, the only sound being you getting pushed against one of the shelves.

Ouija stood in front of you, placing one of her hands beside your head. She used the other one to harshly grab your chin, lifting it up so you were looking at her. Her facial expression was one of anger, jealousy and displeasement.

„I don’t know who that other woman thinks she is, but she better know that you’re mine. Ever since you stepped into the walls of this prison, shit, I knew I had to have you. You're mine, amorcita. You're all mine and yo, guess what? I ain't about fucking sharing. I can’t hide how I feel about you anymore, munequita. Not when 1000 other bitches are this close to you every day. I love you.“

Ouija’s face was full of worry, anticipation of what you thought of her confession, if you felt the same.

„I’m yours“, you said, breathless, and that was all it took for Ouija to smash her lips against you and press you further into the wooden shelves. Her scent intoxicated you, all you saw, smelled, heard, touched was her. She was your whole world and you were hers. Her warm body was pressing into yours, her hands were roaming your body, diving underneath your shirt. Finally, you could do what you waited so long for. Her hands were in your hair, her tongue was dancing with yours. You forgot that you were in prison, you forgot about the world around you.

All there was, was you and her. Your love, yours all yours.

[raikanata]

Taking Care of a Difficult Child - Mayoi Ayase Feature Scout 2 4* Story

[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su♪ ]

Warning: This is a Fan TL and is not proofread.

Characters: Mayoi, Tomoya, Tatsumi

Season: Winter

Mayoi: So you're asking m-me to take care of Hokuto-senpai?

Tomoya: I'm sorry to ask so suddenly. It turned out that our next location wasn't going to be a day trip.

I can't take Hokuto-senpai to work with me, and the pet shop manager hasn't returned to Japan yet, so...

I'm looking for someone who can take care of him until I return from work...

Mayoi: I see. I understand your situation.

Well... I'm very happy that you came to me for help, but...

I really don't think I'm suited to take care of Hokuto-senpai...!

Even when you first got Hokuto-senpai, I mostly spent time in another room so I wouldn't get in your way...

Um, umm... Can't you ask the people in "ANIMALS" for help, like you did before?

Tomoya: Well, I tried to ask them. But it looks like everyone already has plans on that day.

They can only be back by the evening...

Mayoi: And someone has to take care of Hokuto-senpai until then, right...

(Wh-what should I do? I more or less know how to take care of Hokuto-senpai, since I watched Mashiro-san doing it...)

(Even though I know how to care for him, I don't know if he'll listen to me at all.)

(Nevermind that, if something was to happen to Mashiro-san's precious Hokuto-senpai because I wasn't able to take care of him properly...)

Tomoya: ...I'm sorry, Ayase-senpai. I put you in a difficult position by asking something like this so suddenly.

Mayoi: No, I...

Tomoya: Please forget about it. I'll try and ask some other people as well.

Mayoi: (I've troubled Mashiro-san a lot, not only in the "Dead End Cafe", but also as a roommate...)

(I want to return the favor if I can...)

(After all, he came to me for help. There must have not been anyone else that he could ask.)

I, I got it!

Tomoya: Ayase-senpai...?

Mayoi: If the members of "ANIMALS" can make it towards the night...

I will accept the responsibility, and take care of Hokuto-senpaii!

Time: The next day

Mayoi: Then... Let's get along today, Hokuto-senpai ♪

(Since Tomoya-san is off to work, from here on, I have to take great care of him..!)

Uum, Mashiro-san already fed him, so next up...

Mayoi: Eek!? Hokuto-senpai cried out suddenly...! What's wrong!?

I'msorryI'msorryy, I know someone like me isn't fit to take care of you!

But please, be a little patient with me...!

Ah, where are you going...! Please waaiiit!

Tatsumi: (I'm relieved that my vegetables seem to be growing nicely♪)

(Right. Before I forget, let me send this picture I took to everyone in "Gardenia". Uuh, to attach an image...)

(...Hm? There's a familiar crying sound coming from somewhere.)

(The source of the voice... seems to be Mayoi-san and Tomoya-san's room. That means...)

Mayoi-san, Tomoya-san. It sounds like Hokuto-senpai is crying. Did something happen?

(No answer. I can still hear the crying, but no sound from Mayoi-san or anyone else...)

(I'll have to invite myself in, Mayoi-san!)

Tatsumi: This is!? Mayoi-san, are you okay!?

Mayoi: Uuu...?

Tatsumi: Why did you collapse in the room like this!?

Where is Tomoya-san!? What exactly happened here!?

Mayoi: ...Ah, God must be so merciful as to allow even a person such as myself to receive a final call of fate...

Tatsumi: Please hang on! This isn't a final call of anything!

Mayoi: Uuu... I'm sorry to make you worry like this...

I was so deeply focused on taking good care of Hokuto-senpai, I forgot to take care of myself, even to eat...

But I never thought that I'd pass out... If Tatsumi-san didn't find me, who knows what would have become of me...

Tatsumi: You're exaggarating. However, I'm relieved that you seem better now.

Mayoi: You even made toast for me. Thank you so much, really.

Tatsumi: It's Hokuto-senpai that you should thank. I was alerted to the situation thanks to his cries.

Mayoi: I-is that so. Thank you, Hokuto-sen--

Eek!? Why are you screaming so much? Did, did I do something to offend you...?

Uuu, you really won't listen to me...

What do I do... At this rate, we won't even make it until everyone from "ANIMALS" arrives.

Tatsumi: Please raise your head, Mayoi-san.

Tatsumi: Hokuto-senpai is yelling at me as well, it's not because of you.

I heard from Koga-san that the reason why Tomoya-san started to call him "Hokuto-senpai" was to get him to listen.

He seems to have a bit of a difficult personality, right? We need to get him to let his guard down first.

Mayoi: Let his guard down, huh... But, how...

Tatsumi: That's right. Is there anything that Tomoya-san uses regularly when taking care of him?

Mayoi: Well, there's a blanket on the bed over there, but...

Tatsumi: I heard that having an item around that carries their smell, or their owner's smell, is calming for animals.

Using that, maybe we can try and see whether we can get Hokuto-senpai to lower his guard?

Mayoi: I see...! It's bath time right now, so I'll try to take him to the bathroom with the blanket!

He-here! This way, Hokuto-senpai! It's bath time now♪

Ah, he's walking this way...!

....but, ahh! He completely stopped in his tracks!

Tatsumi: Hm, it's not going all that well.

Mayoi: N-no! When I take a step back, he also takes a step forward...! I just can't get any closer to him!

Tatsumi: That's fine. We can work like this until Koga-san and the others arrive.

Mayoi: Yes! Like this, I'll succeed in taking care of Hokuto-senpai properly ♪

Tatsumi: That's right, keep going, Mayoi-san.

Tomoya: ...Ah. Akehoshi-senpai sent me a text.

"Hokuto-senpai's doing just fine~!", it says.

Hm, there's a picture attached too... This is, Ayase-senpai feeding Hokuto-senpai?

I'm glad that Hokuto-senpai seems to be listening to Ayase-senpai seriously...

I have to thank Ayase-senpai properly. Let's get him a nice souvenir before returning home ♪

Tomoya: ....That aside, why does Ayase-senpai seem to be holding my clothes that should have been in the laundry basket?

[ ☆ ]

[chuplayswithfire]

Izzy Arc Thoughts, the post!

Having now watched the three episodes three times over (some of them more than that shhhhh), I still have a BUNCH of thoughts about the rest of the crew I want to percolate on, but I had some thoughts on Izzy that I finally feel confident in, as to what's going on in with his character since the end of season 1, and especially the arc he has between Impossible Birds and The Innkeeper.

Being upfront: I wasn't sure what kind of arc the show would do with Izzy and we still obviously don't know the full scope of it, as we have five more episodes to go, but it's definitely been intriguing in a way I didn't anticipate. I figured Izzy would continue on with his antagonistic role, and he still might, but it seems like D Jenks is having fun letting Con have a role with more emotional nuance than in season one, and seeing as that role has an impact on everyone else, I wanted to share my thoughts on what I think is going on with him in the episodes that we've seen so far. I also wanted to start my in depth analysis with a character I don't care about nearly as much (being honest!) as I do the rest of the crew, but who also has a huge impact on two characters I do care very much about, Ed and Stede. I'm planning to analyze Ed and Stede in each episode before we get eps 4 and 5!

This is a long post! It features many quotes directly , transcribed by me and taken from the captions by Max. I used a read more because the whole thing is over 6k in length and analyzes the dynamic presented between Izzy and Ed and Izzy and Stede presented in episodes 1-3 of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death. If the read more doesn't work, that is not on me, sorry.

Alright, so recap: when we left Izzy, he had lashed out at Ed for the person he was choosing to become and the manner in which he was expressing himself and his feelings - the blanket fort, the binging sweets, the singing for the crew, the sharing his feelings and asking to be called Edward, the encouraging a talent show, and then, the cleaning up and comfortably wearing a colorful printed robe of nice, soft fabric. (Quotes: "I should have let the English kill you. This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death." "(growled) No. This, this is Blackbeard. Not some (breath) namby-pamby in a silk gown, pining for his boyfriend.”) When these insults get the aggressive reaction from Ed that Izzy associates with the version of Ed he prefers, he encourages him with a smile, hand cupping Ed's cheek, and choking out "There he is." Ed shoves his hand away, backing away with a closed off expression, and Izzy's smile dies and he closes the distance between them. He states what he wants from Ed, makes a threat, and walks away without waiting for a response. (Quote: "Blackbeard is my captain. I serve Blackbeard. Not Edward. Edward better watch his fuckin' step.”)

The next time we see Izzy, Ed has donned his leathers, made his face up with dark make up to look more fierce, and is cutting off Izzy's pink toe and feeding it to him. We know from episode 9 that cutting off toes and feeding it to people was a classic Blackbeard move. For Izzy, this is several things: 1) confirmation that Blackbeard is back, the one who would never let a threat stand and does a good maim 2) a punishment for said threat (Quote: "Threaten me again, ever... I'll feed you the rest. Understand?" "Y-Yes, Blackbeard.") 3) a confirmation that he has his boss back, that whatever Stede has done to his boss' brain is over.

We get confirmation of that third point when Izzy speaks with the crew as they're getting rid of Stede's books and possessions - "Blackbeard is himself again," with a broad smile. Later, we see Izzy abandon the crew on a small island, presumably on Ed's direct orders, as he waves goodbye to Bonnet's playthings - them - as they depart. Izzy has a gun as he stands beside Ed, and they're watching as Frenchie finishes the new flag and hoists it.

That's where we left Izzy in Season 1: standing besides Ed as Blackbird returns to being Blackbeard for a brand new era of being Blackbeard, greatest pirate who ever lived, terror of the seas.

And when we return to the show, that's kind of what we get. Edward is being Blackbeard and Blackbeard is the terror of the seas, a Wanted Poster with so many crimes they're covering both sides of the poster (and yeah some of them are very silly, what midwifery was Ed up to, exactly-), and yet, Izzy is not happy when we see him.

What I think the show works to establish in episode 1 is that what Izzy wanted back was the man he saw as the old Blackbeard, who wasn't afflicted by these feelings of love or softness or "weakness", which he views as something that Stede Bonnet inflicted upon Edward. We know that, because it's how he phrased it to Chauncey - that "[Stede] had done something to [his] boss's brain". He seemed to view these feelings as something akin to an infection from Stede, that was corrupting the Blackbeard he knew and respected to something less than. Izzy wanted the old Blackbeard back and he thought that when Ed took his toe and fed it to him, said he'd killed Lucius, all that I recapped, that he'd gotten just that. A return to his preferred normal, where everything makes sense exactly as he thinks it should. Ed back to normal, it's Blackbeard time, getting rid of the dead weight and all that.

Except that's not what he's gotten at all, and I don't think Izzy had fully grasped why prior to episode 1. He has suspicions, of course, but it takes him a while to build to a confrontation about it.

Because see, Ed switched from healthier coping mechanisms like crying, eating sweets, creative outlets, and talking to people about his feelings to much more acceptably pirate means of coping with his feelings - violence in the form of raids and drugs (rhino horn, which thought people joke about it being an aphrodisiac, has a variety of believed medical uses in Vietnamese medicine, treating ailments including hangovers, fever, gout and potentially terminal illnesses, like cancer or stroke). Raids and drug use should be totally acceptable means of managing your feelings as a pirate, except that Ed is going too far with them, pushing the crew to the breaking point and beyond. They're raiding every day, they're not taking breaks, they're not having days off, they're chasing down ships as fast as they can take them down and now they're going to be throwing away loot. Izzy is realizing that actually he has not gotten the Blackbeard he wanted and things are not great. He's also lost at least two more toes.

He and Ed have an early exchange - Izzy looking sickly, skin sallow, what appears to be hair dye or make up trickling from his hairline, Ed prepping and snorting rhino horn like it's cocaine:

Izzy: "The crew are lookin' a tad worse for wear.” Ed: "Did everyone get cake?" Izzy: "Yeah, they got cake." Ed: "Well they're, they're welcome to have some rhino horn. Just ground up a fresh batch." (snorts rhino horn) "Oh fuck! You want some?" Izzy: "No, not right now, no." Ed: "Well then, get back to work ya fuckin' lightweight!" [cut to Izzy among the crew] Ed voiceover: "Can't do the job, someone else will."

Throughout this scene, Izzy looks increasingly distressed as Ed does drugs - he looks his most distressed during the voice over however, his jaw flexing, his eyes watery.

This is what appears to have shaken him the most - the idea that he's replaceable, that Ed can and would get rid of him in favor of someone else. It's obviously incredibly distressing to Izzy, in a way that I genuinely don't think the loss of his toes was. Izzy clearly values his relationship with Edward - while in season 1 he definitely wanted a promotion and liked the idea of authority, of being captain, the fact that he was swiftly mutinied and nearly murdered seemed to put a kabosh on his ambitions, and reoriented him to staying at Ed's side. We know that Izzy at least believes that loyalty is important - we know that he thinks he's acting from loyalty when he tries to make Ed watch as his boyfriend (in Izzy's words) is murdered.

Izzy values his position with Blackbeard. He serves Blackbeard, respects him, was honored to work for a legend. And while this is supposition, he seems to have considered himself and Edward as having a close, intimate relationship that did not require words or confessions or honest expression of feeling, this kind of bond where words aren't necessary, because they're tough, manly men who don't need to express their feelings.

But.

Then we get this line. Then we get, "can't do the job, someone else will." Seven words, and they shake Izzy to his core, make him finally start questioning his until then unquestioned belief in the ways of the world and his relationship with Edward. It shakes him enough that he actually breaks in front of the crew, in a scene that's incredibly funny, but also leads to them extending him some genuinely unearned compassion, as they question the healthiness of his relationship with Blackbeard - even as Izzy is finally questioning if he has a relationship with Blackbeard.

Following his breakdown, Izzy has the crew bring the treasure above deck, but doesn't go through with making them throw it overboard. Instead, he takes those new doubts and brings them to Ed, pushing for a conversation where he is clearly for the first time in their working relationship expressing his thoughts on said relationship in word form.

Izzy: "The crew are refusing to part with any treasure." Ed: "Why?" Izzy: "Because it's fuckin' treasure." Ed: "Not good enough. (stops toying with knife, slides it in Izzy's direction.) And that's another toe. Take your boot off." (stands from seated position, walks over to Izzy.) Izzy: (starts by looking down at the ground, then slowly raises gaze to Ed's face as he speaks.) "Who am I to you?" Ed: “...What?” Izzy: “We’ve worked together for years. (sniff) You know me better than anyone has ever known me, and I daresay the same is true for me about you.” (a musical beat plays. Izzy lowers his eyes from Ed’s face, looking in the middle distance.) Izzy: I have (several second long pause) love for you, Edward.” Ed: (starting as Izzy is speaking, right after the word love) “Oh, come on.” (walks away from Izzy, circling around him.) Izzy: I’m worried about you. We all are. The atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned.” (pause) “But if we could all just maybe (pause, swallow, visibly struggling with words) talk it through.” (musical beat) Ed: (slowly looks up) “As a crew?” Izzy: (face falls subtly, taking on a starker look of upset)

The scene transitions away, but let’s really dig into all of this for a second, because this is crucial. This is Izzy going from matters between us are unspoken but profound to I have doubts and I am verbalizing my thoughts in the hope that they will be assuaged. Izzy is expressing aloud his thoughts on their relationship for the first time, because as Izzy puts it, he thought he knew Edward better than anyone. He thought he understood him better than anyone else alive. Now, we know that Izzy doesn’t understand Edward already - we’ve known that he doesn’t actually see the person Edward all along, but this was made especially clear in episode 6, where his voiceover notes that he is “starting to suspect that Edward has no intention of ending Stede Bonnet’s life”, at a point in time when Ivan and Fang are confident the plan is off and everyone else seems pretty clear there’s a co-captaining effect going on.

The point is that all this time, Izzy has been acting from a place of assuming he knows Edward best of anyone in the world, that he understands him, that he can follow what’s going on with him and that they are intimately bound together, in this deep and unspoken love for each other that doesn’t have to be said allowed, but only has to exist, unacknowledged but deeply felt. 

But then Ed said that he could be replaced. Then Ed said that he could find someone else to do Izzy’s job. 

And this introduced doubt into Izzy’s mind, for the first time. This is what made Izzy verbalize all these things - what made him ask who he is to Ed, what made him state that he has love for Ed, that he worries for Ed, that he and Ed understand each other better than anyone else… because now he has to say them aloud, because he has to be reassured that these things are true. 

That he is someone important to Ed. That Ed has love for Izzy and knows that Izzy has love for Ed. That Ed understands Izzy, that Ed knows that Izzy understands Ed. For years, he has thought that he and Ed understood each other in this profound way, that they alone truly knew the other, and he has to question if that’s true. 

He’s being vulnerable, in a way vaguely akin to the vulnerability Ed offered in episode 10, and it clearly doesn’t land. He wants reassurance that this deep and profound love and intimacy he was so sure was there, is real, and Ed can’t give him that reassurance because it’s not true. Not in the way Izzy was so sure it was. Not in the way he ruined Ed’s life to believe. 

Izzy finally decides to put himself out there, and all that Ed gets out of it is the echo of Stede Bonnet, and it makes Izzy’s face fall like a rock. There’s the answer he didn’t want: the relationship he believed he had with Ed is not there, and Ed is still, utterly, truly, fixed in his feelings for Stede Bonnet. 

(and like just to clarify, I really don’t feel bad for Izzy here - he doesn’t have the relationship he wants with Ed because he’s never tried to really understand Ed, or listen to him, and he isn’t what Ed wants in a partner, but, objectively, Izzy does make himself vulnerable here, and he’s shot down, because Ed just doesn’t return his feelings)

Which leads us into the continuing scene. Ed goes to confront the crew about the atmosphere of the ship being poisoned, which everyone denies at gun point, leading Ed to shoving the gun under his chin and having a little conversation with himself, unsettling everyone around. 

Ed: “I know who we should ask, ol’ Blackbeard. Hello mate. You think the vibe on the ship is poisoned? I don’t know, Blackbeard. Maybe a little toxic sometimes. Maybe it’s a bit uncomfortable sometimes. You do make the crew a little bit uncomfortable sometimes. They think you’re crazy. Well, I’m not crazy. I don’t feel crazy. I feel pretty fucking good actually.” (the camera is focusing on the faces of all the crew as he gives this monologue, gun still cocked under his chin.) Izzy: “Fucking End!” (Screamed at Ed’s back) Ed: (slowly turns to Izzy.) Crew: (Fang looking shocked and saddened. Frenchie shakes his head very minutely, looking at Izzy.) Izzy: “The atmosphere on this ship is (word drawn out) fucked.” (working his jaw, looking down and to the side as he says this.) “Everyone knows why.” Ed: (nods once, sets his chin, walks forward.) “Well I don’t. Enlighten me.” Izzy: (smiling with mouth shut, suppressing a laugh. Shrugs.) Your feelings for Stede fuckin’ Bonnet.” Ed: (Nods as soon as Izzy says Stede’s name. Shoots him in the leg.) Izzy: (cries out in pain drops, clutching his knee.) Ed: “Frenchie.” Frenchie: “Yes?” Ed: “Congratulations, you are now first mate.” Frenchie: “Oh, no. I don’t, I don’t  think I’m qualified.” Ed: “‘course you are mate. You can start by cleaning up that mess.” (tilts head towards Izzy. Turns to rest of crew, onlooking.) “And the rest of you, you throw this shit overboard and get suited up.” (claps twice, turns away.) “We’ve got a record to break.” Izzy: (still groaning in pain.)

So that was a lot. 

Izzy has realized, over the course of this episode, that his relationship with Ed is not what he thought it was, is not what he wants it to be, and that Ed is still and probably always will be, in love with Stede fuckin’ Bonnet. This is why Izzy decides to say what he believes to be true - that the atmosphere is fucked because of Ed’s feelings for Stede. It’s important that we know this is not actually true - while Ed being ghosted by Stede did start his spiral, Ed was able to stop that spiral with the help of community and reaching for healthy coping mechanisms. Ed spiraled again after Izzy intervened, insulting, threatening, and demeaning him as discussed in the recap, and the spiral isn’t about his romantic feelings - it’s about, as s2e3 The Innkeeper firmly establishes, his feeling fundamentally unloveable and monstrous. Throughout s2e1, Ed is clearly denying the crew days off and meaningful rest out of pursuit of as many raids as possible. He’s trying not to touch the ground, flying high both via drugs and adrenaline, and his exchange with Frenchie at the end of the impossible makes it clear he doesn’t want to stop. 

It’s also very important, that throughout this entire thing, the only crew member Ed actually hurts is Izzy, who doesn’t actually object to losing his toes. Now, I’m on record for being one of the many people who think Izzy is actually glad that the toe scene happens - I don’t think he actually especially wanted to lose his toes, but, he was glad to get back the Blackbeard who would cut off toes, and I do think he felt there was a certain intimacy in being the only one experiencing violence. Izzy is a masochist and has previously expressed delight in being the subject of violence - was very happy to be choked by Ed in s1ep10 - so while this is not safe or sane, I do think it’s consensual, in the sense that Izzy thinks this is part of their mutual love, their unspoken but deep and crucially intimate togetherness that leads them to know each other on the deepest level. 

And then Ed says he can be replaced. And then Ed makes it clear that even when Izzy is emotionally vulnerable, Ed’s heart is with Stede. And Izzy realizes, he doesn’t have that place with Edward that he thought he did. He doesn’t have that special relationship. This is not intimacy, for Ed. And Ed shooting him and turning away isn’t even the final nail in that door. 

Because, in s2e2, Izzy is still alive. The crew has hidden him in the walls and are trying to preserve his life, even as Izzy screams for them to kill him and calls them cowards for not doing so. The crew is gathering medicine, preparing an amputation, figuring out what to do with Izzy to try and keep him alive, and Izzy wants them to kill him. (Quote: “Kill me you fucking cowards! Kill me -”)

I would say it’s because he’s realized the relationship he devoted his life too and considered sacred, the relationship he considers most valuable… is not that to the man he loves. Ed replaced him and pirate code says the first mate should kill him. The first mate (Frenchie) refuses to kill him. Frenchie is not much for that, and neither is JIm. Both of them, having experienced a better life and place of work when Stede was captain and Ed was their co-captain, are trying to preserve Izzy’s life the best they can. Jim especially clings to the memory of when life meant something on this ship, even Izzy’s life. 

Which - this makes sense coming from Jim, and I think it’s why they chose Jim, because Jim wasn’t present for Izzy being captain or the mutiny. Jim has the least complicated relationship with Izzy aside from Fang, who is notably not present in any of the scenes to do with rescuing Izzy, despite having been clearly shocked and appalled that Izzy was shot. 

Izzy, is not thrilled to be being kept alive, but the fact that Izzy is kept alive, means that Izzy has to process his feelings - and face Ed again, who, having shot Izzy, mourned and sobbed, has woken up, cleaned himself up, cleaned his space out, and decided to seek death. 

From Izzy. 

This, I think, is the second most crucial moment in Izzy’s arc and transition, because Izzy thought he was someone of incredible importance to Ed, and he also thought that he knew and understood Ed better than anyone, and that Ed crucially, understood him just as well. He thought that even without any emotional honesty or vulnerability, they knew each other more than anyone else possibly could. 

He thinks that Ed knows him. 

And Ed comes to him, and they have the following exchange:

Ed: “Morning.” Izzy: “My leg?” (looking down his body.) Ed: (laughing) “Yeah. Oh, no, that’s gone now. Up in Leg Heaven.” (sets the smelling salts down, turns to look down at Izzy.) Izzy: (looks up at Ed.) “Have you come to take the other one?” Ed: “I think one’s quite enough. I just popped down to say a proper goodbye.” (reaches behind him, draws gun. Izzy: (watches the gun, looks down from Ed’s face to gun and back as Ed cocks and loads it.) Ed: (looking at the gun, not Izzy.) “Had a dream about you last night.” (flips gun to offer the handle to Izzy.) “Take it.” Izzy: “Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.” (slaps at Ed’s hand, looking away from Ed.) Ed: “Hold it! Hold it.” (they are speaking over each other. Gets the gun in Izzy’s hand, directs it at Ed’s head. Looking at Izzy.) “I dreamt that ya killed me. Shot me right through the skull.” (moving the gun and Izzy’s hand, drawing it to his forehead, leaning closer. The camera moves between Ed’s face and Izzy’s.) Izzy: (smiles slowly then sneers.) “Good for you.” Ed: (blinks and nods slowly.) “It was good for me. It’s just what the doctor ordered.” (The camera moves from Ed’s face to Izzy’s showing him with that frown as Ed stands over him, leaving the gun in Izzy’s hand.) “Anyway, it wasn’t even like that.” (walks away from Izzy.) Izzy: (eyes tracking Ed as he walks away.) Ed: “Not in my dream.” (moves to stand at the foot of Izzy’s bed, back to Izzy.) “I was standing.” (inhales). “Just like this.” (Closes eyes. Spreads arms.) Izzy: (from his view, Ed is standing against the light, back open, arms spread. He blinks and raises the gun audibly.) Ed: (Swallows, holding his arms out.) Izzy: (smiles, sniffs audibly, dropping the smile as he clenches his teeth. Laughs harshly, mockingly, gun raised.) “Ohhhhh, ah, you scared, Eddie? Too scared - too scared to do it yourself? Ay.” (laughs) “Go on, clean up your own fucking mess. I’m not doin’ it. I’ve been doin’ it all my fucking life.” Ed: (looks down, disappointed. blinks.) Izzy: Fuck off. Ed: (nods, swallows.) “Farewell, old chum.” (whispered. He walks up the stairs and away from Izzy.) Izzy: (watches, shaking, nodding slowly himself, breath hitching.) Ed: (reaches the top of the stairs. A gunshot sounds. A creak. Ed lowers his eyes, looking down at something off camera. Nods. Exhales.) “I loved you” (a pause) “best I could.” The scene transitions from there, and the next we see of Ed, he is initiating plan two of suicide attempts: steering the ship into a storm and goading the ship to kill him or die with him.

But Ed’s deal is so many more posts from here. No, we’re focused on Izzy for the moment, so what did this whole exchange mean for him?

First, the thought that Ed had come to do more damage. That Ed was there for Izzy, that this was about Izzy. But it’s not. Ed has had enough of that. He notably does not apologize. Izzy notably does not seem to expect one. There is history here, and the last time they were in positions like this, the camera angle was flipped - Ed at Izzy’s right, a hand covering Izzy’s mouth, making him eat his toe and the idea that things could go as they had been, that the Blackbeard Izzy had schemed and tried to have a man killed over was back. This time, Ed is at Izzy’s left, with a gun, and he doesn’t touch Izzy except to hand over the gun.

This is where it’s so important that Izzy believed he and Ed knew each other best of all. Because in episode one, Izzy was getting worried for Ed, but it’s in episode 2, in this moment, as Ed hands him a gun, that he realizes Ed wants to die. And it’s in this moment that he realizes that Ed fully believes Izzy could. That Ed has taken these actions believing that they would lead Izzy to kill him. That Ed wants to commit suicide via Izzy, that he thinks killing Ed is something that Izzy wants, could want, could do. 

This is Izzy, realizing that he and Ed don’t understand each other nearly as well as he thought. This is Izzy, realizing that Ed looks at him and sees a man who could and would kill him, when Izzy thinks that he couldn’t ever do that. This is Izzy, having the true final death knell on that relationship he believed they had, the intimacy he believed they had, the lack of a need for words. He thought all this time that he knew Ed best and that Ed knew him, and he doesn’t want to kill Ed - and he’s also hurt and angry and upset to know Ed genuinely thought he would. That Ed would come to him for this, because Izzy doesn’t think he could kill Ed, but Ed thinks he could. 

In his mind, Ed should know that Izzy could never kill him, should trust him, should know without having to be told that it would never happen, but here’s Ed in the flesh, asking him to kill him. 

It’s over, everything he thought was there. 

And Ed? Ed did care about Izzy, in his own way, but every overture he made was denied, shot down, Izzy not interested in the bird guy, the ship, the clouds and how they contribute to a plan, the drugs, and like, Izzy is allowed to not be interested in any of those things - but these are the things Ed was interested in. These are the ways Ed tried to connect most recently, and Izzy shot them all down. To Izzy, there was a deep and intimate connection in spite of all of that. To Ed, every way he could connect with Izzy was shot down. He loved him the best he could, which wasn’t a way that could provide either of them what they wanted. Izzy had love for Ed, but that love could not be fruitful or nurturing to either of them, because it was unspoken and therefore ripe for misunderstanding. 

Izzy stews down there in the ship, in his own thoughts, while Ed steers the ship into a storm and makes his last effort to die, to have it all end - to push the crew to killing him, or dying with him. And then he ties his leg up, makes his way above deck, shoots Ed in the arm to keep him from killing them all, and tries to kill himself instead, staring at Ed as he tries to shoot himself with the gun Ed wanted Izzy to kill him with. Despite the gun being aimed for the temple, he fails and falls back, leaving himself staring up as it rains on him, hiding any tears. Fang brings Ed down, and the crew gather together, Fang supporting Izzy’s weight, as Jim lifts a cannonball with a scream and prepares to bring it down on Ed’s head. Izzy watches without interfering.

EDIT: ADDED THIS SECTION:

A quick addendum: even though I watched episode 2 so many times, I didn't realize that Izzy tried to kill himself after Ed left the room! The gunshot that Ed hears is in fact Izzy trying and failing to shoot himself right then and there, in that moment that Ed departs. Izzy's forehead was so wet and the background of him falling back and water splashing was such that I truly thought that took place in the rain, and that he tried to shoot himself after shooting Ed. Thanks to @glamaphonic for letting me know. This does leave me even more certain that Izzy is motivated to do this because he has finally understood both that Edward wants to die, and that he and Edward never understood each other as well as he thought, which brings the last years of his life into question. He tried to kill himself, failed, and came up to stop Ed from bringing down the ship. It's not just that Izzy stews down there - as Ed departs, leaving Izzy behind, Izzy takes the shot. He tries and fails to kill himself, and wakes and climbs the steps to take the shot at Ed he couldn't before.

The next time we see Izzy is s1e3, The Innkeeper, when Stede crosses over to the Revenge and finds the crew amidst the wreckage. He’s eating a raw bird with the rest of the crew, and then is brought aboard the Red Flag. As Stede asks the crew about Ed’s location, Izzy watches him. He’s the only one not eating soup, hands tucked over his chest. 

As Stede starts asking questions - dangerous questions for Izzy and the former crew of the Revenge - he walks over with a crutch. 

Izzy: “Bonnet. Good to see you.” Stede: “Piss off, Izzy. I don’t wanna hear from you.”

Stede talks to the rest of the crew, as Izzy grimaces. Stede pays him no attention. The next time Izzy speaks up: Stede: “What about my painting? Why is it all stabbed up?” Izzy: (looking up through his hair, smiling.) “That was me.” Stede: (sighs and walks away without response.) Izzy: (blinks slowly, looking dismayed. We see him start to turn his head in Stede’s direction.)

Well, that seemed like someone trying to pick a fight, and disappointed he didn’t get one, too me. In Izzy’s mind, Stede is his romantic rival, the man Ed loves where he didn’t love Izzy, and, currently, also a threat, because if he keeps asking questions and reveals the mutiny, they’ll all be killed. 

But Stede is one more thing. Stede is another dagger in Izzy’s heart, as we continue transcribing:

Izzy: “Don’t cry Bonnet. We just redecorated.” (has clearly been following Stede.) Stede: “I don’t mind, actually. I think the knives really help bring the place together.” (calmly stated before he walks away to look at the rest of the furniture.) Izzy: (drops his head, looking away as though trying to gather words.) Stede: (turns to look at Izzy.) “What’d you do with him? I know he wouldn’t have left by choice.” Izzy: (sniffles) I know you think you understand him. Stede: (interrupting) “He was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying, so which was it?” (leaning forward despite the considerable distance, still calm.) Izzy: (swallows, dips head. Starts moving forward, gritting teeth through words.) “Alright Bonnet. Have it your own way.” (stalking forward to Stede on his crutch.) “He went mad. He tortured the crew. He took my fuckin’ leg ‘cause I dared to mention your fuckin’ name.” (emphasis on the curses, slams fist when he says your name.) Stede: (in drawn breath, turns away) Izzy: “He was a wild dog, and we dealt with him like one.” Stede: “You sent him to Doggy Heaven.” Izzy: (stares in silence, head shaking. Flashes back to Ed laying in the rain, breathing out “Finally,” and laughing as Jim brings a cannonball down on him as Izzy watches. Stares. Turns to look away from Stede, face twisting. Shakes his head. Shuts his eyes. Breathes the word:) “No.” Stede: (turns to look back at him.) Izzy: “I could never do that.” (looks away, still not looking Stede in the face). “We deserved him on a beach (sniffles) left nature to do the rest. More than he would have done for us.” Stede: (turns away, breathing out.) Izzy: (continuing) “You and me did this to him. And we cannot let this crew suffer anymore for our mistakes.” Stede: (turns to look at Izzy) “Why would they suffer?” Izzy: “If your captain senses mutiny, she’ll kill us all. That’s pirate code.” Stede: (camera lingers on his face as he swallows.)

Doggy Heaven has a heavy meaning in this series, considering that Ed was supposed to send Stede to Doggy Heaven, and couldn’t because of his love for Stede. Ed couldn’t bring himself to kill Stede, but here is Stede, who Izzy views as a romantic rival, guessing that Izzy could kill Ed. Acknowledging that he, like Ed, believes that Izzy could kill Ed. Izzy, who thinks he couldn’t and wouldn’t and has love for Ed, and sees himself as loyal. 

But Izzy did stand back as Ed was killed, and that’s why he reaches for dehumanizing language to defend the action - he calls Ed a wild dog and that they dealt with him like one. 

(It’s the first time in the show that a white character makes a racist remark without immediate consequences. Before anyway says otherwise, yes it is always racist for white people to dehumanize a man of color. It is always racist to say a person of color is or was an animal or liken them to being an animal. He could have said that Ed was a danger to the crew in any number of ways but he reached for likening him to a creature less than human and yeah that’s a racist thing to do. I believe the show did not follow through with consequences for this action because it’s clear that Izzy is STILL trying to pick a fight with Stede.)

The commonality in all of these scenes with Stede are twofold. One, Izzy is trying to distract Stede from the truth of the mutiny and what the crew did (and the fact that Ed is still aboard the Revenge, left for dead [or as Izzy put it, for nature to do the rest]). The second is that Izzy is trying and failing to pick a fight - failing, because Stede won’t take him up on it. At all. Stede is not engaging with Izzy at this point outside of the practical matter of seeking information, and that’s all he has to spare for Izzy - he’s already told him to piss off once, and that’s as much energy as he spends on it, but Izzy comes at Stede antagonistically more than once - three times, actually, and I think it’s because if he has a fight with Stede, and Stede says all the things he’s thinking, about how awful Izzy is, how he’s a traitor, how could he have hurt Ed, any of those things, then Izzy can fight about it, and he can justify it to himself, and he can ignore the thought from now on, because it’s the same thought that Stede fuckin’ Bonnet is having, and those thoughts are worthless.

But Stede doesn’t give him that. Stede doesn’t give him a fight at all. Stede walks away from Izzy again and again and again and in doing so does not grant Izzy an out, an out that can ONLY come from Stede, because no one else is going to disagree with the mutiny. 

Stede is the only one who could give him that fight, and Stede refuses. And Izzy continues to have to sit with his own thoughts and justifications and they clearly aren’t enough for him, because he’s continuing to push. 

Izzy is also trying to protect himself and the crew, here. It’s very much about that. He is trying to keep himself and them from dying by being caught out for mutiny, but I think it’s interesting that it’s only here that he tries to take accountability for what he said and did to Ed, and it’s in service of avoiding what he’s actually done. Izzy says that he and Stede did this to Ed - this that resulted in, as he says, Ed going mad and torturing the crew and having to be mutinied and abandoned on the beach. Izzy needs Stede to feel equally responsible - so that Stede will help protect the crew, but also because I think Izzy is feeling guilty and has been, because he could watch Ed die, and he could hurt Ed, and he didn’t think of himself as that person, but he is and was, and thinking that he caused all of this himself is too much. Better to give some of it to Stede, and help the crew out as well as himself. 

He had love for Ed, in his own way, and he thought they understood each other and had a partnership, but here’s Stede fuckin’ Bonnet, who only knew Ed for a matter of weeks, and understood him better than Izzy did and wouldn’t do the thing that Izzy did, and this is the final nail for Izzy, the thing he’s struggling with in this whole revelation that Ed didn’t have any romantic love for him, that there was no special intimate romance between them that didn’t need to be said or expressed or acknowledged with words or vulnerability to exist, because Stede takes one look at the situation and can summarize what happened. Stede knew that Ed would want to die, because you can’t actually burn the world down. You can say “burn the world or die trying”, but the only end result is dying trying. 

And Izzy, I genuinely don’t think, understood that Ed wanted to die. Not until Ed offered him the gun. Not until Ed spelled it out. Izzy knew that Ed was fucked up over his feelings, but I don’t think he understood where they were leading. 

But here’s Stede, and he did, and Izzy can’t take that, which is why once the truth is out and the mutineers are locked in the brig awaiting probable execution, Izzy tries to pick a fight one more time, even now that there’s nothing to distract Stede from. 

Izzy: (hears footsteps and turns his head.) Stede: (comes to the brig, staring through the bars at Izzy, then the rest of the crew.) Izzy: (smiles) “Go on Bonnet, give me your worst.” Crew: (looks up at Stede slowly.) Stede: (Looks at all of them, silent and not visibly angry, somber. Tilts his head down, eyes closed. Opens his eyes, shoves against the bars and turns and walks away without a word.) Izzy: (Drops the smile. Stares forward into the distance, eyes visibly wet with tears, blinks several times).

 So, clearly trying for a fight, wanting one, and continually being denied. Izzy is almost certainly grieving Ed, the relationship he thought they had, and also his leg, and Stede is the only other person here who would even possibly mourn Ed too, and Stede refuses to give him any response. Even when goaded, even knowing the truth, he has nothing to say to him. The next time Stede and Izzy are in the same room, Stede has concocted an escape plan, and doesn’t look at or speak to Izzy at all as he gives instructions and organizes the escape.

And when they have made it back to their ship, when they’re getting the wheel and rigging set for escape, they have a final conversation:

Izzy: (walks up behind Stede, who is watching the Red Flag.) “I just wanted to thank you for-” Stede: (walks away without letting him finish.) Izzy: (looks down, is left standing alone as live moves on the ship.)

Over the course of these three episodes, Izzy’s plot is realizing that he was fundamentally wrong about his relationship with Ed, his understanding of Ed as a person, and the depths of Ed’s feelings and despair. I think he’s also realizing that he was wrong about his relationship with Stede - he saw Stede as a romantic rival, and someone who hated him as much as he hates Stede, but given the opportunity to antagonize Izzy again and again, Stede refuses, because he doesn’t care about Izzy nearly enough. 

Izzy has misunderstood the nature of his relationship as it were with both of these men, who are, and always were, predominantly, chiefly, and only, interested in each other.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[lover-of-mine]

so I saw your earlier post about how Tommy is getting Ali’ed, and I wanted to ask about who you think is the most developed and likeable out of Buck’s love interests? (except Eddie ofc, he’s the best and I can feel it in my bones that he will become endgame.) I’m still in s3, so I’m kinda a new watcher you could say. (I’ve read too many tumblr spoilers and copius amounts of fanfics though, so I’m able to keep up with and watch season 8 live).

I wanted to ask this because I’ve seen so much Tommy hype and promotion on here that I really thought that he was developed as a character and a main. But from what I’ve heard, he’s only worse than Buck’s and Eddie’s actually developed love interests. Before I actually started watching the show, I’ve only heard bits and pieces here and there about 911 and the “gay” firefighters, but that’s about it. I only started watching seriously during season 7, and I’m a pretty slow binge-watcher (hence why I’m only 3x12 lmao). When I went back to season 1, I fully expected to see Tommy (bc honestly, I thought Tommy and Eddie were the same person for a while lmaooo), but then I got to season 2 and saw the begin episodes and I was like wtf? How do people actually like this man? Eddie is literally RIGHT there. Even if Eddie wasn’t endgame or a romantic interest, he’s still a better compliment to Buck platonically than Tommy is romantically. So then I thought “oh maybe he had a redemption arc or like changed for the better like Buck did,” but from what I’ve seen on s8 and on here, it seemed like he didn’t? So that only makes me more confused on why a majority of the fandom seems to love his character. Personally, I don’t really see anything, but I guess everyone has their own opinions 🤷🏻 . Though, I’m scared that I’m basing this on too little info and I missed something because I haven’t watch seasons 4–7.

(this got so long I’m so sorry. it kinda ran away from me a little bit 🫡. Lowkey needed to vent my thoughts)

Hi, darling! I'm gonna ignore Abby, because in the context of season 1, Buck is her love interest, not the other way around, since she is the main character. So most developed is hands down Taylor. Ali was barely there, and Natalia didn't fulfill what they wanted to do with her since the actress couldn't come back to s7. Likable is complicated because Ali and Natalia aren't around enough for you to get attached and, Taylor and Tommy have a past of hurting the 118, so it's hard to be sympathetic at times. Taylor gets a lot of background information, they live together, even though the relationship is clearly wrong, both of them are trying to make it work as best as they can, so it makes sense for Taylor to be around. She tries to love Buck as best as she can, it's just not enough, they are incompatible. And, well, Tommy. Imma be honest, the only thing Tommy has going for him is the fact that he is a man. The bt fandom took that and ran. Basically, they decided that since he is a man and a first responder that meant that the relationship would be super developed and they built it UP based on nothing really (actually based on Lou having a cameo and people paying him to headcanon with them, but that's a whole another you just had to be there), not on the show at least. I don't believe he had a redemption arc, the show kinda makes it seem like being queer excuses his behavior and just doesn't address it. In my opinion, when I try my best to be unbiased and ignore the way I deeply hate the character because of the fandom, I think Tommy is pointedly being written as a bad fit in Buck's life and the relationship will run its course once Buck wakes up and stop just accepting whatever.

And if you think Eddie is the better compliment to Buck and you're still in 312, just wait, they get more intense. It's madness. They are soulmates, I don't care about anything else.

[rey-jake-therapist]

So far ever since S2 ended, I been watching ao3 and the haladriel fanfics have been growing. It's amazing. We're getting so fed. Meanwhile on X Antis are coping hard about Cele/born and his return, which is whatever, it will happen anyways, but now it's like they're demanding they want the S3 arc to revolve around him and Galadriel like Sauron is some side character (lol). It sounds like they want what haladriel had in S1, which was purposely directed in a way to make the viewer ship the two characters because lore-wise, most people wouldn't automatically think of them in a relationship. But whatever headcanons they come up with their reunion, it's their business. The weird part is tho, they always like to latch onto this idea that Gal was this poor, innocent elf who never wanted any part or involvement with Halbrand, and they're just now emphasizing the part where he lost control and tried to kill her (while again, cognitive dissonance blinds them to the part where she was trying to kill him first) It's always pretty funny watching antis and their double standards with violence and killing between men and women.

It's amazing that the ship gets bigger ! It seems that the Haladriel finals made a significant impression on many social media users who didn't watch the show before.... It's good, very news !

Lol, It's actually hilarious to see this character suddenly become so popular, while Tolkien himself didn't care that much about the guy, and certainly didn't write Galadriel and Celeborn's marriage as this "epic love story" that these people imagine.

Whatever floats their boat, but if they seriously think that their reunion will get as much screen time as Haladriel season 1 did, they're going to be disappointed. Galadriel and Halbrand's story took much screentime because it was a part of a bigger story : how did Sauron deceive everyone, including Galadriel, and got to Eregion where he could forge his rings. The romantic bits was just a nice bonus !

(Almost) nobody wants a Galadriel/Celeborn rom-com in season 3, (almost) nobody cares, because it will have zero impact on the overall story. Halbrand and Galadriel's story had to be told to understand what would happen next. If not for Arwen, Galadriel could be remain single that it wouldn't change anything to the overall plot : she needs Celeborn only because she must have Celebrian, so Elrond can marry her and have Arwen. Sorry guys but he's just not important, except for Galadriel's personal happiness. I'm not saying their love story doesn't matter at all, but it's not enough important to hijack the overall plot of TROP !

And I say that as someone who wants Celeborn in the show, because I love Galadriel and I think she deserves some peace of mind, healthy love and stability, all things that Celeborn can give her. Do I think it deserves several hours of screentime? Sorry, but no. I'm more interested in seeing Sauron corrupt men with the Nine rings, for example.

And for the love of Eru, Sauron didn't try to kill Galadriel in season 1, he also didn't try to kill her in season 2. He just never did. Galadriel was drowning in an illusion. Sauron wanted to punish her for rejecting him, so he maintained the illusion to make her believe she was drowning and that this time, he was not going to save her. He wanted her to despair, which she did. This scene's actually hearbreaking, because we can see that for a moments she's still hoping that he will come for her.

It was cruel, but it was definitely not a murder attempt. Her drowning was an allegory of the despair she felt over Sauron's deception, but physically she was always safe. He literally had a dagger he could have used to kill her ! And he's Sauron ! He can kill anyone. Can we be serious a minute ? please ?

In the real world, she attacked him with the dagger like she did in the illusion, he pushed her in the river, where she had no risk of drowning for real, and he left when he heard Elrond come, probably. He didn't even have to maintain her face in the water, like I've seen suggested once. Her face was NOT under water, she was clearly not drowning for real and as soon as Elrond broke the illusion, she was well awake and ready to cut his throat !

Does she look half dead to you?

Besides, she never told anyone that he tried to kill her? Why ? Because she knows he didn't.

And in season 2, he didn't want to kill her with Morgoth's crown : again, he wanted to punish her for rejecting him, and also bind her to him. He knows where the heart is... If the point was to kill her he would have aimed right.

So actually, only Galadriel tried to kill Sauron, repeatedly, and I suspect that this situation will never change.

[whxre-bxby]

mommy i really need your writes, I'm so impatient, I worship your talent, I need them so much, your stories really turn me on, I become such a stupid whore 😭😭

Oh my god, PLZ- ig I'm feeding this addiction I LOVE YOU

Recom Lopez x Recom Y/N x Recom Brown

"Cursed By Blue" 3.0

Masterlist

Cursed By Blue 1 Cursed By Blue 2

Summary: The recom team is out on another mission, exploring the woods in search of Sully. However, the ladies become inconvenienced by a certain seasonal feeling they didn’t expect. It hits Y/N the hardest and it’s not long before the others understand what’s happening. While everyone fights their instincts, the only option Y/N sees available is to run. 

Warnings: SMUT, heat fucking, heat cycles, penetration, unprotected sex, breeding kink, anal sex, double penetration, cursing

Word Count: 7461

A/N: Sorry, I gave up on the first-person view in the end.

We were nearing the weekend. Not that that affected us. Lyle told me it was Friday today and I was surprised because I had completely lost track of time. But it didn’t really matter what day it was because we didn’t get time off anyway. Finding Jake was our number one priority and no breaks other than sleep were allowed. 

So here we were again, walking deeper into the forest of Pandora. It had just passed lunch time and we were here since early morning. 

No one was tired though, not yet. We weren’t allowed to be either. 

Today also happened to be warmer than usual so I wasn't wearing my usual long-sleeved attire and pants. I dressed like Walker usually did, in a sports bra and shorts. She and Z-Dog decided to wear tank tops like most of the others. 

The forest grew quieter the more we distanced ourselves from the RDA base and the city. Soon, we could only hear the wind blowing between the leaves and the distant calls of animals. That and our heavy footsteps. 

The Colonel and Lyle started the day off by leading us into the woods. As the hours passed by, the line mixed since everyone had a different walking pace and now it was Z-Dog and me leading at the front. Walker was close behind. 

I had been excessively drinking for the last 30-45 minutes and I wasn’t sure why. Z-Dog glanced over at me when she saw me reach for another water bottle. 

“That’s your third one already. Are you okay”? She asks, watching me gulp it down. I swallow most of the water and inhale sharply, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. 

“I don’t know.” I say, gasping for air. “Maybe I’m dehydrated?” 

“Don’t think so, we always drink the same amount and I’m fine.” Z-Dog says. We continue walking for a while longer in silence, thinking. Then Z reaches for her water and starts drinking it like she’s been running. 

I laugh a little but seeing her drink made me feel thirsty again. 

I reach for my water only to notice I have a few drops left. I down the remaining liquid and hold the bottle to my head. It seemed to be getting really warm. 

Turning around, I open my mouth and want to say something to Walker only to see her finishing her own bottle of water. I look behind me fully and no one else is drinking. 

“What. The. Fuck.” I say, feeling genuinely confused. Walker looks up at me with water drizzling down her chin and Z turns around. 

I wheeze and Z laughs and we wait for Walker to catch up so we can walk together. 

“Do you have any water left?” I ask her, knowing we at the front drank ours. 

“No, that was my last bottle.” she says and I notice how heavy my breathing is becoming. 

“Wait, you ran out too?” she asks and Z-Dog scoffs. 

“Yeah, been drinkin’ like we ran a marathon.” she says and I nod.

“I’ll ask the others.” I say before turning around and seeing Lopez behind me.

“Can I have some of your water?” I ask, wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead. Compared to us, Lopez is not sweating at all. He’s wearing his usual attire, as is Brown behind him. But their breathing is normal and not a bead of sweat is to be seen on them. 

Lopez glances up at me and his eyebrows furrow for a split second before he nods and hands one of his bottles over. 

“You ran out already?” he asks while I open it and drink about half. 

Brown and Lopez both watch me, studying my movements. 

I wipe my mouth again, closing my eyes for a second and nodding. “Yeah.” I breathe out. “Thanks.” I say, handing it back to him. 

“Y’ alright?” he asks again taking the bottle back and I nod, not thinking much of it. Lopez doesn’t seem convinced. 

Ja overheard our conversation and sped up his walk to catch up to us. When Lopez noticed his presence he seemed a little relieved. 

“Is she okay?” he asks his colleague. Ja was the medic of the group so he would know. He took a glance at me and also thought of what I suggested. 

“Did you drink enough?” he asks me and I nod. 

“Yeah, I drank all my water and some of his.” I scoff, pointing to Lopez and wiping sweat from my forehead again. 

Ja presses the back of his hand against my cheek and then my forehead. 

“Shit, you’re burning up.” he said, scanning over me. 

I was feeling extremely warm. My skin felt like it was burning and my clothes suddenly felt tight and restrictive.

In front of us, Z-Dog and Walker are discussing something. 

Ja felt up my arm and checked my pulse while we were walking and Lopez stayed on my other side in case I was in fact not okay.

“Yeah, somethin’s definitely not right.” Ja announces to us, not quite sure how to help me. Mansk has his eyebrows furrowed, examining my behaviour. Brown is walking behind us and his ears are perked as he listens to the conversation. It seems to interest and worry him. 

“They have it too.” I say, pointing at Z-Dog and Walker who now turn around. Walker is grimacing a little and Z looks worried. 

Lopez’s and Ja’s heads look up at them and they notice that they are breathing heavily and sweating just like me. Ja also takes note of the empty bottles in their hands. 

“Everthin’ okay up there?” the Colonel calls. It seems as though the others have noticed the small commotion and the medical check-up. 

Ja turns around, rubbing the back of his head. 

“Uh- no sir not really.” he calls back, stopping in his tracks to wait for Quaritch so that he can explain. Lopez and I keep walking and he watches me intently as I break out into a type of pant. My ears are pinned back and my tail is wildly flicking around behind me. My eyelids also happen to suddenly grow heavy and I keep them half-lidded. Brown has caught up and is now walking on my other side, watching me before exchanging looks with his friend next to me. 

What snaps me out of my haze is Z calling my name. 

“Hey, Y/N come over here for a sec.” she says, turning around. Walker is running her hand down her face in what looks like frustration. 

I nod, jogging over and leaving both men behind. They’re still watching me, trying to make sense of what’s happening.

Neither Z nor Walker looks like they feel like joking around anymore.

“Have you read the manual?” she asks and it takes me a few seconds to realise she means the Na’vi body data. 

“Yeah, of course, we had to.” I say, trying to play it cool. She raises an eyebrow and I sigh. 

“I stopped once I reached the shit about plants. It got boring.” I say and she nods, knowing damn well she didn’t read further than that either. 

“Walker read it, and it said somethin’ ‘bout a heat cycle.” Z says and I glance at Walker. 

“Yeah… we’re not dehydrated. I remember the symptoms. It’s happening right now.” Walker says, scanning my reddened face. 

“Does it burn?” Z asks and my ears perk forward for once, being relieved from the tense strain I kept them in the past half hour. 

“Everything burns.” I say. 

“You know what I mean.” she adds and I groan in frustration too. 

“Yeah.” I mumble. I can’t deny the heat that’s been forming between my legs. I tried ignoring it but it grew worse. 

“Do you feel, like-” Z says, gasping for air herself. “...uncontrollably horny?” she asks with a light laugh and Walker smirks. 

I have no shame admitting anything in front of them so I chuckle and answer. “More like painfully horny.” 

They laugh a little, struggling to even out their breathing. 

“We need to distance ourselves from them.” Walker says, glancing over her shoulder. “Especially you Y/N you seem to have it bad.” she chuckles, motioning to my panting self. “Otherwise we’re done for and this squad will no longer be as professional.” 

“Seems like they have it bad for her too.” Zdinarsk jokes, hinting at the way Brown and Lopez stuck to my side just moments before. 

My eyes widen. “Wait- you’re joking right? It’ll go away like tomorrow. How would they know about this if we don’t tell them?” I ask and Walker opens her mouth to answer but before she can, my answer is handed to me differently. 

“You smell that?” someone says behind us. My heart stops pounding for a second. Right our new senses have us picking up more. 

“These cursed blue bitches.” I swear and Z breathily laughs, seeming to know how screwed we are. She’s passed the stage of denial and is now accepting our fate. 

We turn around and notice that Lyle was talking to Prager. Prager nodded and they stopped walking. Lopez and Brown have also stopped in their tracks, turning to them. Behind them, Ja, Quaritch, Mansk and the remaining team catch up and everyone comes to a halt. 

Quaritch walks between them and deeply inhales. He looks around, noticing how his soldiers are smelling what he is too. 

I feel my heart slowly drop and I hold on to Z-Dog for some comfort. All three of us are watching them, dreading their reaction. 

“What is it?” Lopez asks. 

“No idea, but it’s fuckin’ great.” Lyle chuckles and my breath catches in my throat.

 It seems to affect them too. As Lyle inhales, his own tail is swishing around behind him and his muscles flex. He’s growing restless and the recoms are looking at their Colonel for an answer or instructions. 

My heart seems to stop beating when I see Lopez turn to me. Brown’s gaze meets mine as well and it’s so intimidating. They’re watching my every movement and I take a step back, my grip on Z’s arm tightening.

“Oh fuck.” I whisper while barely moving my lips. I feel a little hazy again and start leaning against Z-Dog. She sighs looking more pissed than worried and catches me, trying to keep me upright. 

The soldiers follow their and the Colonel’s eyes, noticing us standing a bit further away. 

“It ain’t dehydration, I can tell ya that.” Quaritch says, referring to Ja’s hypothesis of what might be happening. Seems like he read the manual too. 

The stupid excitement in my stomach has grown so big it’s making me feel sick. And all their eyes on us have me more nervous. 

"Do we kill them or ourselves?" Walker asks, not liking any of this.

“Can we leave?” I whisper to Z and she nods, staring down the others as if they would move when she looks away. 

“Yeah, come on.” she says, guiding me forwards. I take a wobbly step, almost stumbling. 

Walking won’t do it. I have so much adrenaline coursing through my veins I want to run away. 

I glance back, noticing everyone’s tense poses. Their eyes follow our every move, making them seem almost predatory. My only instinct now is to run. 

Z gives me a push and my legs take off. I start running and hear Walker and Z-Dog do the same behind me. There’s a commotion happening behind them and the next time I glance behind me, everyone is chasing after us. 

It was a miserable escape attempt, to be honest. We were already so out of breath compared to them, we really didn’t make it far. 

I can hear my heartbeat thumping inside my chest as I run. Apparently, I’m fast because the chaos behind me is growing quieter. I can hear Zdinarsk and Walker shouting and when I look over my shoulder they’re firing their guns near the other recoms feet. But at the same time, I’m able to see two other figures sprinting after me. I don’t have time to look again to see who they are. They’re catching up too quickly for me to think. 

The wind whizzes past me, flowing through my hair and over my ears. I’m leaving countless trees behind as I run through the forest, jumping over roots and branches. But running straight ahead isn’t looking good for me. The two soldiers are faster so I stop abruptly, testing the strength of my ankles as I take a sharp left turn behind one of the trees.

I can hear the thumping of footsteps behind me but there is nothing I can do but keep running. 

Within seconds, a hand grabs my tail making me gasp. That slows me down and suddenly, an arm is slung around my waist, pulling me back and lifting my feet off the ground. Someone pulls me against their chest, coming to a sliding stop before pushing me down onto my knees. The arms stay around me, holding me in place while my heart seems to beat out of my chest. 

The feeling and the effects of the scent the recoms picked up had everyone acting on their primal instincts. Most common sense was gone as their new bodies seemed to be overpowered by the will of nature. The scent had the soldiers feel just as worked up as the heat cycle did. Instinctively, they ran after the ‘potential mate’ they felt most attracted to because that was Eywa’s will. 

“Shh. Stop moving.” A voice growls right next to my ear. The recom’s hot breath hits the skin of my neck. The way the words are spoken makes my stomach clench in excitement and I instinctively submit to the soldier, listening by stilling my movements. 

“Good girl.” the voice purrs. A hand comes up and grips my jaw, moving it to the side and making me crane my neck against my left shoulder. I catch a glimpse of the hand, noticing the identifying tattoos on the knuckles. 

Lopez is the one holding me against him.

My eyes widen but suddenly, I feel my body relaxing against him. 

I had always found Lopez very attractive. He and Brown spent their time teasing and joking around with me. 

The fact that it’s him with me, holding me so close to his own body makes me calm down and get even more excited all at once.

Lopez seems to notice my reaction and I can hear his smirk when he shortly exhales through his nostrils. He lowers his head, still standing behind me while keeping me on my knees and presses his lips against my neck. 

I shiver in anticipation and a gasp leaves my lips. That was very unexpected. We’ve never done anything more than briefly hug. 

“Lopez…” I mutter under my breath, thriving in the feeling. 

Suddenly, my attention is ripped from our moment as I hear heavy footsteps behind us. My ears tilt backwards to listen to them as they slow from a run to a walk. Lopez’s breath stops for a moment before he removes his lips from my skin and turns around. 

I hear the other soldier scoff. 

“What? Thought I was gonna let you have ‘er all to yourself?” he chuckles almost evilly. 

My body stiffens and I try to move my head to the side. Brown?

Lopez snarls at him and his arms around me tighten. Brown continues circling us until soon enough, he’s basically in front of me. He’s peering down at me, taking note of the way my reddened knees were shuffling against the forest floor and the flush clouding my cheeks. 

“Wait your turn.”  Lopez hisses, leaning his head down again but having to abruptly straighten his posture again once Brown starts getting closer. 

“No. You know damn well I’ve been wantin’ this longer than you.” Brown snarls back at him, staring him dead in the eye. 

Lopez is standing tall, trying to protect his territory. His hand tightened around my queue, keeping me in place against him while the other held my left wrist up. 

He scoffs in disbelief before spitting his words at Brown. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to have her like this.” 

Brown walks all up on Lopez now and they glare each other down while I’m on my knees, stuck in between them. My body still feels too warm for my liking and I’m starting to feel touch starved. Their presence thrills my body and their scents fuel my desire for them. I’m no longer myself. 

“Look at her.” Brown coos, breaking eye contact with Lopez to stare down at you. He feels so drawn to you. The way you smell and the way you look so deliciously submissive cuts his patience with Lopez very short. Your big watery eyes staring into his own remind him of how much he longs for you.

“She needs me.” he adds, smiling down at your restless self. 

“Don’t think so.” Lopez replies, gently placing his hand against your cheek and pushing your head to the side. You were forced to look away from Brown which annoyed him.

Both soldiers were slowly going feral, wanting to fend off the other to finally claim you for themselves. Since you were all even humans, they were around you. Now they have a chance to do what they have been dreaming of but the competition doesn’t make it easy. 

“Y/N? Baby. You want me?” Brown leans down and asks me softly but the words still sound teasing. I glance at him from the corner of my eye, making him grin. 

“Want me to help you feel good?”

That offer sounds so good to my lust-filled mind, all I can do is nod my head even though Lopez tries to keep it still. Both of them watch me struggle against Lopez’s grip but a faint nod is still recognised. 

Brown’s smirk is more visible than ever when he looks back at his teammate. “Seems like she does.” 

Lopez strains his ears back in irritation as he continues to glare daggers at his friend. 

“Doesn’t count. She can’t think straight.” he argues. His hand leaves my jaw and he rests it on my head, almost petting me for a split second like I’m some kind of pet. 

“Which is why you shouldn’t be near ‘er.” Brown hisses, snatching my left hand from Lopez’s. 

“Back off right now. I’m not joking.” Lopez snarls, no longer wanting to deal with Brown. 

“Stop touchin’ her like she’s yours.” Brown fires back, clearly not liking the way Lopez is being possessive. 

“I got to her first. And I can make her feel better than you ever will.” 

“Yeah right. She was practically begging me to touch-” 

“She was saying my name before you got here and ruined it.” 

My head is spinning at this point and I feel drunk. But there is no alcohol in my system. It’s just pure lust which is becoming overwhelming. Their arguing is now making me lose my patience. The burning between my legs is becoming unbearable because not even I can touch myself. And to keep me from drifting into mindless desperation, I need some type of relief. 

Both men are still fighting, paying each other more attention than you. They would much rather be focused on you but they are standing in each other’s way. You start feeling extremely desperate and all you can do is let out a whine, in hopes of having them finally help you. But they are shouting over each other so talking is useless. In conclusion, you must take matters into your own hands. 

Lopez and Brown are in the middle of their heated argument when both men feel you shuffle on the ground. Lopez gives you a short glance and see’s you rearrange your seating on the ground but he’s pulled back into the fight by the taunting insult Brown throws his way. 

Minutes later, both men feel you start to move again. It’s ignored at first but it doesn’t stop. Lopez is holding your head and queue while Brown is still gripping your wrist. Out of the corner of their eye, they see you slowly rocking back and forth. There’s a second of silence and Brown is about to insult Lopez again when their ears perk up and they hear you moan. 

Instantly, their full attention is directed at you and the sight beneath them finally shuts them up. In fact, both marines are speechless. Their eyes are wide and lips parted in surprise and desire. 

You’re slowly rocking back and forth on the ground, softly rolling your hips down against your heel which you placed beneath you. Erotic mewls and whimpers fall from your lips when you manage to grind your clit against your heel. Finally feeling some type of satisfaction has you not care about your behaviour anymore. This is beyond unprofessional but quite frankly, so was their yammering. Jolts of pleasure shoot through your body when you nudge your clit against your foot and your head lolls back while your eyes flutter closed. 

Lopez groans in arousal, not believing what he is watching while Brown just stares with lust-blown eyes. This is the most beautiful sight they have ever seen and you looked even more beautiful than you did before. And that already seemed impossible to them. To them, this feels like something straight from a dream. They have dreamed of you in many ways before. But seeing you so shamelessly pleasure yourself in front of both of them had them rock hard now. Their erection had been stiffening since the chase because your scent was so deliciously intoxicating but now, their tips were leaking with pre-cum. 

Brown had to adjust his pants because his dick was now painfully hard and everything was becoming too much to bare for all three of you. 

“Fuck, baby.” Lopez growled, letting go of your queue and kneeling down next to you. He couldn’t wait any longer.

Seeing you so desperate made him feel bad for neglecting you for so long. He muffled your moan by pressing his lips against yours, firmly holding your head in place so that he wouldn’t have to worry about the kiss ending quicker than required. 

Brown is still speechless and he’s watching Lopez devour your lips. Suddenly, his friend doesn’t seem like such a threat anymore. Perhaps this can work. 

Lopez has become so aroused by your scent, he is unable to hold back anymore. His hands grip your hips and he helps you guide your movements, grinding you down harder than before. 

The pleasure is clouding your mind and fogging up your common sense. Within seconds of his help, you’re slowly turning into a ragdoll, unable to sit upright anymore. 

You close your eyes for a second to enjoy the feeling even more and when you open them, Brown is on his knees in front of you. With his ears pinned back, tail wildly swinging, veins popping, and muscles flexing, he looks feral as he tears your tank top open through the middle. The fabric gives in easily and is carelessly discarded somewhere behind him. 

Behind you, Lopez is licking and biting your shoulder and nibbling on the back of your neck while Brown leans forward and sucks a dark hickey into your sweet spot.

Your back arches and your right-hand grabs Brown’s left shoulder while your other one reaches behind you to cradle the back of Lopez’s head. Their attention on you makes you feel slightly more overwhelmed than before but you wouldn’t want either one of them leaving. 

“Can’t wait any- …longer.” Brown groans, grabbing your face and pulling your lips to his. The sudden action makes you lose balance and you land pressed up right against his chest. He’s holding your lips against his while leaning back until he’s laying on the ground. 

You’re hovering over him, unsure about your hand placement and position. But those worries are shot away when Lopez presses his clothed hard-on right against your ass, the tip nudging your cheek.

You want nothing more than to be as close as possible to both of them. You want to feel them inside you and at this point, you would even cry and beg. Luckily, neither of them are cruel enough to make you do that. 

The kiss is broken so that Brown can strip you both of your preventing clothes. He’s lost his patience and has to take matters into his own hands because Lopez is losing himself by grinding and dry-humping you from behind. 

“Fuck, mami. Need you so bad-” Lopez growls under his breath, clenching his jaw. Your heat has soaked through the pathetically thin fabric of your panties and a small spot was visible to Lopez on your pants. The said pants which have been stained by your slick are being tugged down your legs by the soldier under you. The one behind you marked the cloth of his pants with his pre-cum already. Seeing you like this had them both whipped for you. 

All your clothes except for your drenched panties have been either torn or pulled off your body, letting the two marines finally free themselves. Lopez is unbuckling his belt while Brown is already pulling his cammies down his thighs. However, your curiosity is still present. You three had been friends for a while and you can’t deny their attractiveness. So you wanted to see as much of them as they saw of you. Brown pulled you closer again, lifting his right hand to cup and massage your breast. 

“God, you look so fuckin’ amazing.” he breathes out. His pupils are blown wide with lust as he mutters the words. “Better than anythin’ I’ve imagined.” 

Your heartbeat starts racing at his words. He’s imagined you in this way before. Being so intimate with him. 

Your curious hands wander up his torso, softly tugging at the hem of this tank top before slowly pushing it up and over his chest muscles. Brown seems a little stunned by your action. Perhaps he is surprised that you care enough about him to want to see him. Maybe there is more to this than just heat-fucking. 

Meanwhile, Lopez has already pulled your panties to the side, revealing everything to him. Even though he hated admitting it, he was jealous that you were just interacting with Brown. He knew a great way to win your attention back. That’s what he told himself at least. The second he set eyes on your beautiful dripping pussy, he wanted nothing more but to have a mouthful of it. He enjoyed using his tongue, especially because he knew it worked well. 

The body warmth of Lopez’s hips disappears from your rear end. Brown is staring up at you in something close to adoration, letting you explore his body. You’re focused on his torso, outlining his toned muscles with your warm lips when suddenly you feel a hot breath fan against your pussy. Instantly, your body tenses up and your movements halt. Brown tilts his head to the side, looking behind you to see what Lopez is doing. His ears perk up when he sees and you want to turn too but before you can move another muscle, you feel Lopez swiftly swipe his tongue up and between your dripping folds. 

The erotic move makes you gasp before you almost instantly give in and melt against his movements. Your upper body rests on top of Brown’s bare chest while you push your hips back against Lopez’s face. He has one hand wrapped around the base of your curled tail, holding it up so that it stays out of the way while he starts to eat you out. His tongue is licking the moist skin, gathering the dripping wetness before it reaches your thighs. A small moan is released by Lopez against your pulsating pussy, making you whimper and whine in pleasure. 

Brown is grinning from ear to ear as he watches you slowly fall apart in front of them. 

“We’ve been tryin’ to get your attention for a while now.” he says. His deep voice rumbles through his chest. 

You’re too caught up in what Lopez is doing, there is no chance of your responding and Brown knows that. 

“Been waitin’ for you to give yourself te’ us.” he growls, nibbling at the shell of your ear. “To spread ‘em pretty legs and let us take care ‘f you.” 

I gasp, staring at him with wide eyes. His grin reappears. 

“You’ve been wantin’ this too?” he asks, ears perked forwards again. 

I gulp nervously, having to take deep breaths to respond because Lopez has already almost had me cum. 

“Yes…” you whisper, gasping again when Lopez presses his tongue against your entrance, applying pressure and threatening to penetrate it. 

“Shit-” Brown chuckles, getting extremely restless after hearing your confirmation. 

“Lopez, cut it short. Can’t wait any longer.” He almost barks, pressing his fingertips into the flesh of your hip. 

Lopez pulls away, straightening his posture on his knees once again and licking his lips with a devilish grin.

“You taste amazing, baby.” he growls. His lips are glossed and coated with your slick and it’s drizzling down his chin in the corner of his mouth. “Not done with you yet, I need that pussy again.” 

“Like I’m going to let that happen.” Brown chuckles. “You just had her. It’s my turn.” 

Their ears are pinned back and Lopez looks pissed off but he doesn’t argue.

Brown grabs your hips and instantly starts pulling them down against him. You steady yourself on the ground while he presses the side of his aching hard dick against your partly cleaned-up pussy. At this point, your body is in need of it. 

“What do you want, mami? Huh?” Lopez teases which makes Brown growl. He’s had enough of his antics and just needs to feel your warm walls around him. 

You whine, closing your eyes in frustration. “Please- both of you. I need-”

Lopez is grinning again. He loves hearing your desperate voice. 

“I need you inside me.” You almost cry out. Brown would be lying if he said he didn’t love the way you said those words. The neediness really did things for them. 

“Want us to breed you?” Lopez asks, now pressing his bare abdomen against your ass, once again slowly grinding his hips against you. “Want to be full of our cum?”

You frantically nod your head, wanting nothing more in the world but to be filled and thoroughly fucked by them. 

Brown was just angry at Lopez for once again slowing things down but now, he is glad he didn’t shut him up. Watching you admit and beg for such a dirty proposal had him almost cumming all over his stomach. 

“Don’t worry baby, we won’t stop until you’re bred properly.” Brown growls. He never thought he would be saying that. Neither of us wanted or want kids but god, these Avatars make it really difficult to fend off their natural needs. 

With that said Brown refuses to wait any longer. He lines his dick up with your needy core, wanting to finally relieve you from clenching around nothing. His tip presses against your entrance and suddenly, he starts pulling you down on his lap and slowly pushing all of him into you. 

The feeling is intense but nothing hurts. It feels so amazingly good. Finally, you're being filled up with his big cock and it's helping reduce the burning ache of heat between your legs. 

Brown hisses, furrowing his eyebrows together in concentration and pleasure. His head lifts off the ground, straining his neck muscles just so he can watch himself disappear inside you. Your slick immediately coats his shaft and he's only realising now just how badly he needs this himself. 

His head falls back and he parts his lips in a silent moan, covering up the stuttering breath with a curse.

Behind you, Lopez sighs. 

"Well shit…" he curses in a soft laugh, watching Brown's expression and your reaction. "That good?"

"Fuckin' heaven." Brown replies. His words sound strangled. 

His eyes open and he looks up at you. 

"God- you really are an angel." he sighs. 

You're too overwhelmed with how deliciously he's filling you that the complement flies by you.

"You feel so good." You whimper, letting your head hang loosely while you calm your breathing. 

"Think you can handle more?" Lopez asks behind you. His hands are gently massaging your hips and waist as he awaits an answer.

You love them both so much, the offer sounds more than good. 

"Yesss." You hiss, pushing back against his touch. "More." 

Lopez chuckles. "Never thought you wanted us too."

"Shut up and fuck me." You snap, needing to be relieved already. It's been too long and your sudden heat is cruel to make you feel so worked up. 

Lopez didn't take that personally. He loved hearing you curse. It was his and Brown's dirty secret and turn-on. You were always well-behaved. Hearing you cuss and especially dirty talk was so hot to them.

"Shit-" he grins, peering down at you in amused disbelief. 

"Please-" you whine, not being able to bare the wait anymore. 

"Don't you dare make her beg. Hurry the fuck up." Brown snarls, wanting to pleasure himself and you already. He has been waiting for this moment for way too long.

Lopez's evil grin stretches further as he nods. 

"Ready?" He asks, massaging the right cheek of your ass. You're not sure what you're meant to be ready for, Brown has already filled your pussy. What is Lopez thinking? Yet, despite your mild confusion, you don't question it. Anything to have and please them both. 

"Yes…" you breathe out in desperation while Brown fights himself to stay still beneath you.

Lopez nods. His heart is racing at the fact that he's about to finally get to feel you. Both men are still in disbelief that you want them because they think so highly of you. But luckily, they won't keep you waiting. 

Lopez's hand wraps around his shaft, lining it up with your ass. The only other hole free which wasn't your mouth. This happened to be another of his kinks. He loves your ass and finally gets to properly see it, touch it, and feel it. It's his now and there is nothing you can do about it. He'll claim it in the best way he knows how. He just hopes that you'll be able to cope with him inside you there.

His tip presses against your puckered hole, making your tail freeze its swaying movements. Lopez is gripping your right cheek harshly as if he were trying to control himself from just roughly fucking you from behind. You were all hazed but they still care about you enough to ensure your comfort. 

One would think he would want to watch himself sink into your tight hole but no, Lopez cares too much for you. His gaze is fixed on the side of your flushed face, watching your reactions to make sure you're alright as he slowly starts pushing his hips forward. His dickhead is covered in precum, lubricating the rest of him to ease the penetration.

Your breath gets caught in your throat when you feel the unfamiliar stretch. It makes you clench your eyes closed and ball your hands into fists. 

Lopez and Brown both notice this and Lopez pauses his movements.

"You're doing so well, mami. Take it easy." He coos, rubbing your back while fighting off the urge to groan and thrust forwards. 

"You're gonna be ours, sweetie." Brown whispers, cupping your cheek to distract you from the feeling. 

Your eyes meet his and he takes hold of your hips again, gently rolling yours against his and Lopez's to have you remember the pleasure you felt before.

Your head drops in bliss, resting forehead against forehead with Brown's.

Lopez hisses at the sudden unexpected movement and his hips instinctively stutter forwards. 

"You good?" Brown asks, moving your hair out of your face and gently pulling it to one side on your neck. 

"Yeah…" you reply breathily. "It doesn't hurt."

Lopez nods again behind you, steadying himself on his knees and placing both his hands against the crevice of your thighs and hips before pushing all the way in. 

You inhale sharply, but at the same time, Brown moves and with the next thrust the time it, so that they move in sync. Both men gently pull back, before thrusting back into you slightly faster than before. 

This time, it feels a lot better than at first. They continue to ease you into their rhythm, wanting this to be as pleasurable for you as it is for them. Because god they are losing themselves in you right now.

All three of you feel the urge to want to be as close to each other as possible. They have felt that way about you before but they feared it would have been inappropriate to act on it then. Now, you don't have to hold back.

Their hands are all over you, caressing and holding you close to them. Brown has the side of his face pressed against yours, rubbing your cheeks against each other in a nuzzling manner. It feels primal but you love it. Lopez is hugging your waist, squeezing your thighs and tracing your spine. Your body is new to them and they wish they could take their time exploring you. 

They start moving, thrusting into you just mere moments after the other in a new rhythm. Brown pulls your hips down against his whereas Lopez tugs you back up and against him.

There is no shame with you three. You've known each other long enough to be more than comfortable in each other's presence. Which is why Lopez and Brown don't bother to suppress their moans. We're far away from the rest of the team, why worry about the noise level?

The sound of skin slapping and heavy breathing is polluting the surrounding quiet forest. Occasional growls and hisses are elicited which earn mewls and whines from you. Precious noises which drive the two marines wild. 

"Fuck, you feel amazing, baby." Lopez groans. His chest is pressed against your back, his hips are ramming forwards against yours and his mouth is hanging open. 

Brown has sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, occasionally throwing his head back in pleasure before cursing your name. 

"Ours." He growls into your ear, nipping at your lobe with his fangs.

You've become a ragdoll in their arms. Your body is being pushed and pulled back and forth while your slick drips down your inner thighs. Lopez feels it against his thighs and catches some on his fingers before smearing it around your hole and on his shaft. Now, squelches erupt each time either of them buries their throbbing cocks inside both your holes. 

Their rhythm starts to falter and you feel your orgasm slowly build up. Thanks to Lopez's skilled tongue before, you feel stimulated enough by their thrusts to cum yourself. 

"Fuck- m' close." You hiss, panting for air while being pounded and filled in two holes at once. The pleasure exceeds much faster than expected. This heat cycle has all of your body feeling overly sensitive. 

"Dirty girl." Brown chuckles, pressing his hot lips against the pulse point on your neck and sucking. 

"Love you so much."

The words come as a sudden surprise, but to be honest, the feelings have been there for a long time from both sides.

"So fucking tight-" Lopez breathes out. Their pace is becoming uneven and you're being mindlessly fucked. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head in bliss and you begin to tense up in preparation for your orgasm.

"Cum baby. Let go and we'll reward you." Lopez adds in a hushed whisper. His accent makes his voice more attractive.

Before you can nod or respond in any way shape or form, your orgasm hits you out of nowhere. 

Brown shoved himself inside you with such force, it hit a particular sweet spot inside you which was hit by Lopez from the other side at the same time. 

It makes your toes curl and your body shake as you finally come undone. You arch your back against both men, opening your legs more to offer yourself to them. 

Your walls clench around their shafts and the suction makes it difficult for them to pull out. It feels like you're trying to milk them for their cum and that's exactly what they want from you. In the next second, both marines plunge into you as deep as possible, and one after the other they empty their balls and shoot their load deep inside you. Your insides are painted white and filled with their hot and sticky cum which seems to keep spurting out of them while grunts and growls leave their lips.

You moan, relishing in the feeling of being so perfectly stuffed by two fat cocks. All of you start to calm down from your mindblowing highs but they refuse to pull out of your. They stay still, remaining buried inside of you for a few extra minutes to keep you pumped full with their cum. So full that it's slowly oozing out of the sides while they are comfortably resting hilt-deep in your pussy and ass. 

"You belong to us now." Lopez whispers, wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you in place. 

"No one else gets to ever have you like this."

"Understand, baby?" Brown asks, running a thumb over your flushed cheeks. 

"Yes." You breathe out. "Yours."

They grin at each other, holding you for another minute until all of you can think straight again. 

There’s a distant shout which sounds like the Colonel calling for us. We freeze and our ears perk up, analysing the noise. 

“We should head back.” Brown says to you and Lopez, gently tapping your thigh. 

Lopez slowly draws his hips back, watching his cum ooze out of your used hole. He almost missed what Brown had said. You flinch and your body tenses again when Brown carefully lifts your hips and helps you climb off of him. 

Both men straighten up again and stand up while you stay kneeling on the ground. Their hands reach for you and they help you to your feet, steadying you before letting go. 

“I can’t go back like this, I look like a mess.” You say, palming your forehead and staring down at the cum dripping down your legs. Neither of the men seem to think that it’s a bad thing though. The sight is mesmerising to them. 

“Our mess.” Lopez growls, pressing himself against you once more and planting a kiss on your jaw. Brown picks up your clothes or what is remaining of them at least. To your luck, you still had your vest which covered the main areas of your chest. You all got dressed and once you were done you exchanged eye contact with them before breaking into grins and chuckles. Neither of you could properly believe what just happened but not a soul has any regrets.

You start walking back and your steps are slower and more careful because you start to feel sore now. Brown stops in front of you and turns around facing Lopez and you. Then he looks at Lopez only. 

“What if they try to get a go with ‘er?” he asks. His ears tip back and he looks like he hates the thought in his head. 

Lopez scoffs, suddenly snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you right against his side. “Yeah, like I’m gonna let ‘em.” he chuckles darkly, starting to walk again and pulling you with him. 

Brown nods, taking the spot on your free side. It seems like you’re walking two guard dogs now. 

When you reach the others, neither of them moves. They don’t let anyone near you either. It seems to have become clear to the others what happened but you’re not standing around long enough to get reactions. The Colonel seems fed up and is already leading the way back. You follow and right after you, Brown and Lopez do too. It seems as though their fight has been peacefully solved. 

The rest of the day you spent replaying everything that happened in your head. You can’t wait to see how this situation will bloom and escalate with both marines.

Tag List: @numarusworld @number1gal @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @ken-dala @ikranwings @jatwow

[murkystarlight]

Hey, I just asked sillysnaildraws and whataboutsimple this because I’m trying to make it a thing: If you were a MCSM style admin, what would you look like/ represent/ have as your symbolism/ whatever else?

I have never thought about this either-

I never actually made an oc before(that's not true- but I haven't made one for a fandom before.)

I also am not very crispy on the knowledge on the Admins(or the entirety of season 2)

But I'm willing to give it a go

Her main color would be purple (cause I like purple) but like.. I'm thinking the skin would be like.. a deep blue? Navy color? Her hair, clothes and other stuff(if I add them later-) would probably be purple though.

She has long hair. Like really long. She likes to play with the gravity and make her hair look like it's underwater. And same with her clothes. Very flowy

She has like- some glitter? Star dust thing around her. I saw how the Admins all have like.. body suits? They have a dark body suit looking thing with different designs on top I think(I need to look into them more-- I'm sorry). So I thought, let's give her a black body suit, and make glowing dust float around the suit. But, she likes covering herself. So she has like.. a big dress(cloak maybe?) on top of the body suit(which is also what I meant with flowy clothing). And since the glowing substance isn't stuck onto the body suit, it all kind of spills out and float around her dress(and her everything else) now. But you know what's the biggest thing about glitter? It gets EVERYWHERE

You always find it. No matter how hard you tried to get rid of all of it. So I like that to be the case. She doesn't mind it. But the others... they mind it a lot

Her eyes are white. Just white. The sclera, iris and pupil. Just white. And y'know, it glows and stuff

And my idea for the star dust thing is because, I thought it would be nice if she represent like... nether stars? Or just stars. (Like I said. I have no idea-)

And for the reasoning of that... she's like some sort of.. watcher. Spectator? And since stars are always in the sky(even at morning though you can't see them) I thought it would fit pretty well

She doesn't like getting involved into things. But don't get it wrong, she loves drama. In fact, she makes drama. Then steps out, relax and just watch the drama unfold.

So I would think that she doesn't like standing out too much. But still wants to be in the spotlight- if that makes any sense

So instead of staying in Admin form, she stays in like.. a makeshift human form. Since, then she would stand out when between the other Admins, but doesn't attract much attention onto herself in other occassions since she looks like a normal player(I think her Admin form kind of has a blackhole effect? Since it's flowy and her colors are very dark and all that she kind of- Well, either doesn't stand out much and becomes one with the background or overwhelms everything around her a bit)

Enjoys being alone, but will come out to meet you whenever you ask her to. She doesn't mind leaving to meet people or just have a nice walk.

Her personality- the righthand man who is planning a secret plot to overthrow the leader type. She's an ambitious one

But most of the time, she's rather childish and playful.

She's a free spirit but often doesn't know what to do. So she stayed at the other Admins towns for a while before she left to the overworld.

Once in the overworld, she started moving from town to town, making a few friends here and there. Since she stays in her human form it wasn't much of a problem. She likes rabbit(bunnies?), because of some silly legend in my country about rabbits living on the moon- and often goes stargazing. She likes to Uh- feel like she's one with the night sky. All her colors in her admin form are dark(except the sparkly stuff. Cause it sparkles)(and maybe her hair is a bit of a brighter purple than the rest of her outfit) so she could just pass by as the night sky. Makes her easy to watch things from above or not get disturbed. Or both. Both works

And this is just a silly thing I thought of(not considering to actually put this in, but thought it'd be funny) she went to the moon. She even made a small civilization there!

But jokes aside, I feel like before she started settling into different towns, she's tried to make a lot of her own. Just small towns. But they never kept her intrested enough. And she easily got bored of them. So like the free spirit she is, she just- left. Had some fun with them and just left.

I also had a thought, since she... I'm not sure if she fits in with one of the Admins. And she has a makeshift human form(not a human form of what she looks like without powers), maybe she was made by the Admins? They could do that, right? Create a living, talking... thing(Idk-)

I think I got everything I thought of written down here. As well as the answers to your question. If I understood them wrong- please tell me. And I'll try again(or just fix a few parts) after learning more about the admins-

This is just a bunch of random thought I had squished into one so- yeah... this is all over the place

[nevereverthem]

Gotham : Season 1 Episode 2

Okay... Two weeks later I'm finally watching the second episode... I'm NERVOUS guys!! The more I learn about that show, the more I'm growing unhinged over the characters and the plots like AH!!

Breathe, breathe... Aaaaahhhh. Let's go.

OH MY GOD!!

The little montage of the previous episode!! So cool!! And it starts with Oswald's voice, which is a plus. 🙄 Yeah, I know. 🙄

Bruce, in the living room, in the dark, and a candle. Way to be dramatic...

What is he... WHAT!? You're tryna see how long you can hold your hand over a flame before it's too much or before you burn and die, you stupid!? Jim told you to "be strong", not to turn into the Human Torch!! That's the story of his life, boy hesitated between two superheroes. 🤣

Alfred coming in though. x) Bruce immediately getting up and moving away from the candle like he's been caught masturbating. 🤣 Yeah sorry I thought about that. 😭🙃

"blabla my bloody ass..." I can't help with how Alfred talks. I LOVE it. 🤣🤣 It's just... I thought the rich family and butler thingy would mean incredible politeness... NOPE! x)

Bruce, hand behind his back. Bro, you're not subtle!! You could have just nonchalantly put both your hands down like nothing happened. People don't ask if there's no clue. x)

A "terrible liar". No shit! x)

"Come on, show me." Aaww, Alfred tryna be soft. 🥹

OMG!! How Alfred got angry so FAST!! Man's also emotionally struggling... Bruce lost both his parents and now he's doing things like this, hurting himself... Alfred doesn't want to lose him too... 🥲

When I see the skyscrapers of Gotham... It looks like it's gonna be a fancy party or whatever... and you're in a dark alley in the streets with Selina. Not complaining though. 😌

Oh! A necklace... 🤔

The homeless whatever program... Sounds suspicious! 🤨

Selina being called "Cat"! Of COURSE!

WHAT!? What are they being jabbed with, damn it!? And the dude just shot the older guy left!? What on heart!? Run Selina, RUN!!

"Oh, fudge!" Like, we drug/kill people, but we don't curse. That's called manners. 🤣😭

The guy thrown through a window, dear GOD! Enjoy your dinner. 🙃🥲

Jim's face when he discovers the homeless guy that's been shot...

The military plate. 😱 That hits hard for Jim. Like it's become personal, you know.

Selina, watching... I mean it's her episode! And, she's got a thing for stalking, watching.

Harvey with the coffee "I bought you one but I dropped it." Just shut up! 🙃

The officer assumes that the "homeless junkie" jumped through a window!? Man!! I hate those assumptions!! Someone threw him, you dick! These cliché!

"You're not a bad guy, you're just a bad cop!" Jim got up to drop bombs!! 💥😱

Jim starting a fight with the other cop damn. X)

Harvey dropping HIS coffee is KARMA!! 🤣🤣

At the GCPD,

You see, the guy's not high!! He was assaulted!!

[I'm 5 minutes in and I've already written that much so you either bear with me or just go read something else. 'Cause it's gonna be a long ride!]

"Nobody gives a crap about us!!" So true...

"We're grown ups. We're smarter than you." STOP YOUR BULLSHIT!! You piss me off Harvey!! Am I gonna like him at some point or not? 'Cause your age doesn't determine your intelligence!

Harvey says that he's gonna "beat the truth out of him"!? What is that??

WHAT!? Harvey is such a damn hypocrite!! Jim tells him that he can't beat a 16 year-old down, so Harvey brings up the "not long since you put a man in the river". You're an ASS!! (and Jim did not do it 🙄)

Jim is a "pain in the arse" because he wants to do his job correctly!? Okay, right!! Tell me Harvey's gonna get better. 😭

OMG Jim pushing Harvey away! The reaction of the 16yo guy! x)

An officer, "Hey, watch the shoes, clown!" and Harvey just punches him!? I... Are the cops in Gotham all... yeah yeah, it's the city... 🥲 Harvey needs to sleep RIGHT NOW! "Shift's over." Damn right. 😅

Aaaaahhhhhh!! That's the scene!! Oswald tryna stop a car!! I'm already screaming!!

The WALK!! My little disabled baby. 🥹🐧 (I'm allowed, I'm disabled too)

The guys stopping, then moving, then stopping, then moving again... You can already see the shift on Oswald's face...

The song they listen to is nice though. Don't know what it is but appreciate.

Dick! Spraying Oswald in his face! Bro. Just hand him deodorant idk.

I have a thing for the way Oswald talks. Complete sentences with specific chosen words... The sound of his voice... Melting! 🫠🫠

A beer? Oswald drinking a beer is so odd to me. That goes with the "frat boys-ish" cliché then. Rure dicks who drink at any time. ~ I suppose.

"What the hell happened to you anyhow?" -> "It was my own fault. Foolish arrogance lead me astray." You see what I'm talking about!? 😍🫠 Or is it just me who lacks english skills? 🤔

"I'll be back." (I had to. x))

All it took was for the guy to tell him that when he walks he looks like a "penguin" and that was it! The shift bro!! How he stabbed the guy with the broken bottle. Damn it! I already knew about that scene but in context it's WOW!! Plus, the fact that he was already called "penguin" before he got his leg injured... And now the way he walks because of it adds to the nickname... Dude's had ENOUGH!! Then again, these guys were dicks, but I don't condone their execution dude! 😅🙃

💥 INTRO TITLE 💥

I mean, right after that scene is such a good choice!

"I thought you were with the program." The fact that their chief is in all this is AH. And the... "It's not like I can order you to break the law but... This is Gotham." 🤣😭 That city's cursed my boy!

AAAAHHHH!! Edward peeking through the glass door!! I'm hyperventilating again!!

He's always so giddy with excitement, it's so refreshing! Yeah, I know how it turns out... But let me appreciate just sheer enthusiasm. 😌

Btw, Harvey looks so done, while Jim is intrigued. x)

The "old Arkham Asylum". Here, we're talking about the real things, damn it!!

"Thank you, Ed." And he stays there... Of course, who decided that 'thank you' would also mean 'now you shall leave'? 🙄 Neurotypicals... 🙄

Arkham's been close for 15 years!? 😱 Suspicious again? Not so closed I guess...

Harvey asking if Fish Mooney is still mad at them... 🤣🤣 Wanna bet?

The band playing at her club is 🔥🔥.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Imma melt every time I hear french. 🫠🫠

Falcone!! Btw, how Butch immediately saw the change on Fish's face and got up! That's his job I know, but he genuinely looked concerned.

The face of the waiter though. His smile! Is he onto something or does his job amuse him that much? Like, "serving the Mob, how exciting!" x)

"Men who are about to die are very honest. It pays to listen to them." Lmao, me instantly thinking of Oswald in the previous episode. Btw, is Falcone always gonna drop these quotes? I'm all for it!

The Waynes and Falcone were sort of linked!? Oh crap. The two balanced each other... Huh, interesting. 🤔

Oh, the Maroni family...

"I never lose sleep over my enemies. It's my friends that keep me awake." SEE!? 😱😱 The man is dropping insane quotes each time he speaks!!

How Oswald metaphorically spat on Fish when he talked to Falcone. Dude tried to save his ass all the ways he could. x) 🥲

FISH!! Why ya lying? Why ya fucking lying? Blabla "deep love" blabla "respect" blabla "like a father"... Falcone's not buying it. He surely isn't that stupid.

Fish about her love life. 💔

Oooohhh that's why the waiter had that smile. 🤣🤣 He sleeps with Fish, right, right.

What!? WHAT!? The man gets beaten up in the middle of the club... I...

"Thank you for being honest with me. It means a lot to me. It shows wisdom and humility." -> Translation : "If you betray me, you'll end up like that guy (and/or) I'll break everything you love."

Aaww Oswald's picture. He looks so innocent. (He's not x))

Gertrud!! Renee and Crispus though.

"A woman!? You're sure?" Hum.... NOPE. x)

"GCPD?" "Like that, but honest." I can't argue with that. 😅🙃

Butch, I like the blue tie. ☺️

Fish swearing she's gonna kill Falcone some day soon. Damn! I know he dies, but is it her doing? 🤔

"I just wish that Penguin was still alive." OMG 🤣🤣🤣🤣 "I didn't make that little punk suffer near badly enough." Well... Disabled for life is enough in my knowing opinion... 😅

OMG Oswald 🤣🤣 driving the car of the guys who took him hitchhiking and that he killed. 🙄

Where did he put the bodies though? 🤔

Oswald renting a van? "I'm not fussy." Hum, liar. But in your current state it's clearly enough. 🙃

The bodies are in trash bags? Man! Where did he get the bags though? 🤔

Btw, Oswald drives with his bad leg!! Doesn't that hurt?

OMG, the kidnapped kids waking up! 😱

Aaaaahhhh Harvey walking in, all heart-eyed for Fish, internally asking for mercy. 🤣

Jim still doesn't buy their bullshit and I appreciate it SO MUCH!!

"Guess you misjudged me." Nope, nope dude. You couldn't kill Penguin. She was right. But they don't know... Yet. 🙃🙄😅😧

"You're just a little sinner like the rest of us." Why does it sounds like she's trying to flirt with him? 😭

Still this "... no one cares to know." That infuriates me!!

Aw, Barbara and Jim. 🥰

"Can't believe the system is so corrupt."

"You have no idea."

"What do you mean?"

OOPS. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Jim's face. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jim, you're a terrible liar!! At least you can't lie to Barbara. She sees right through you!!

OMG how she called the newspaper just like that! AWESOME. 🤣😎

"Don't do it again." - "Yes, boss!"... Jim's breathing just after, like... They had fun I think. 🙄🥰

Gotham at night is always so different damn!

The guy who sells the drug : "I gotta stand up for what is right here."... Dude... You don't care about the children... You're asking for more money to run away and cover your ass...

"The doll maker doesn't tolerate failure..." The implications of his name sounds so creepy. 😭😭😭😭

"You didn't call the Gazette, but did your girl call the Gazette?" Harvey, deduction, on point at least. 👌

"You gotta learn to control your woman." SHUT UP RIGHT THERE YOU- AH!

"Kinda like her the way she is." Aw, green flag again.

Harvey'd talk about women, just... Yeah shut up.

OMG, the "bad guys" put on an act for the detectives, I can't. You know, the woman looks very cliché respectable... but she's not. 🙃

The guy in the corner holding a gun to the man in charge of the 'shop'... OMG x)

Each time I hear "Arkham Asylum" I can't help but think about Jerome... I CAN'T WAIT!! Okay... Calm down... I'm wet... Wait!... What was that? 🙄 (Btw, I know Jerome is like 17 - 18 when he's arrested... but the ACTOR was 21 at the time, so it's okay!! Not being disgusting here, thank you.)

"[...]The Wayne Foundation is planning on reopening the old place again." WHAT!? That was THEIR plan?? Okay, I'm out, I'm out. x)

OMG that was so COOL!! The whole speech and then the hint : "Nobody's safe!" Lights out, shooting! 😱

How Harvey yells "JIM!!" Corrupted cops, arguments, but still a partnership somehow. 😌

The owner erupting from under the table. x)

JIM!! GUN!! And his FACE. The determined gaze!! 🫠🫠

Jim shot the old guy in a snap of a finger!

He fell down the hole... Where does that lead to?

Rescuing these children at least!

OMG The Mayor, plus Harvey, Jim and their boss, plus the children in front of journalists. "[...]We will take care of you as if you were our own children[...]" BULLSHIT!! They are homeless children that you didn't care about before... But now it's on the news so it's important... Ladies and gentlemen, here is the truthful representation of society and politics! 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Oh, my bad, they're taking the kids off of the streets and taking them elsewhere. At least they're doing something... Selina's expression though. That looks like massive arrestation, not a caring program... But hey... Benefit of the doubt. 🤷‍♀️

A toast? Fuck you.

Foster homes for the "cute, undamaged" ones... And "correction facilities" for the others... WHAT ON EARTH!? Benefit of the doubt MY ASS!!

"I see you're using the child snatchers as a pretext to lock up children... without a trial." 💥 JIM! How I LOVE YOU! ❤️ Ain't afraid of no politician! The guy fooled a Mob boss. Ya think he's gonna let a Mayor alone?

"Thank you my friend. Valuable input. Most refreshing." I... I can't deny the Mayor's response is amazing. x) Amazingly infuriating, but on point!

OMG Alfred at the GCPD.

Aaww, Alfred is asking Jim for help concerning little Brucey. 🥹🥹😭😭

"Never had a child before." - "Nor me." x)

"Tea time, should we say." Is Alfred english? The man says "bloody" and talks about "tea time". I swear it's as cliché as that!

Bruce, the desk is so big compared to you. (Height jokes, I'm also very petite, mind you)

Is Bruce listening to METAL!? DUDE!! And those drawings? Man's entering his alternative phase. 🤣🤣 I'm ALL FOR IT! I know his parents were murdered and it's all dark, but let me fantasize.

Selina asking to talk to Jim Gordon!! Girl's been listening. Girl's tryna get a way out of juvi.

Aw, is it her mother in the necklace pendant?

Oh no! Don't let it hang off your pocket! You're gonna lose it. 😭😭

Selina's already went to juvi apparently, got some experience.

OMG!! Actually made me GASP!! The snatchers in the bus!! 😭😭 Selina instantly recognising the lady and the man. 😭😭

The Mayor's angry... Angry he's gonna look bad on the news yes. 🙄

For once, Harvey's right about hitting the drug seller guy!! Jim's standing still, watching. He's got his approval.

"He doesn't like it when I beat people, but for you he has no objection, why is that?" OMG Harvey, EXACTLY!! Jim's breathing gives it away though, can't say he likes it.

"Math. The lives of thirty children versus one scumbag." JIM!! 😮 Please, is he using the word "scumbag" to mimic Harvey? 🙄

"So I can beat you [...] and Saint Jim won't interfere." PLEASE 🤣🤣😭😭

When the man starts giving informations and Harvey wants to beat him again, Jim stops him. Jim stays Jim. 😌

Shipping containers? Really, human merchandise...

Selina hiding on the bus. OBVIOUSLY. Not subtle though. Duck your head, you stupid! 😭

Honestly, she couldn't have hidden efficiently. That's not realistic. The woman should have seen her!

Anyway, got out, hid under the bus. Fair.

The dude's really like "meh, miscounted, we have enough kids anyway." High five! I... Filthy little... AH!

Selina running away... She technically shouldn't have been able to escape... But again, there wouldn't be a story if she hadn't. 🙄

OMG the logo!!

Trident Intercontinental shipping... Really!?

"My eyes. She scratched me!" OMG the payoff!! Selina told the little boy to "go for their eyes" which she did!! AWESOME!!

OMG, she's got fucking CLAWS in place of her nails damn it!! 🩸🩸

Okay... Guy's been shot. RIP. I mean, you were working in children trafficking, so... No RIP. Go to Hell.

Bitch's searching for Selina... When is Jim gonna come to the rescue!? With a bunch of cops I hope...

Just, her ripped skinny jeans and leather jacket... 😌😌

Oh no, the necklace!! BUT, another payoff!! The necklace has been hanging for dear life on the edge of her pocket since she got on the bus!

"You are a very naughty little girl." Ok. 🙃

JIM!! I KNEW IT!! BABYYYYY!! Whack her!

Selina not wanting to say her name. Again. Meh, at least your wish was granted, you got to see Jim Gordon. x)

Harvey's here too, obviously. Is it just the two of them? Seriously!? There is no squad for rescuing a bunch of children!?

Yeay Harvey got the other bastard! At least he did that!

Oh, Wayne's manor! Alfred. Jim. And tea. 😉

Bruce : No sleep. When he does sleep he has nightmares. Burning, cutting himself... Brucey baby no 🥺🥲

No psychiatrist. That's the rule...

Alfred wanting to live up to Bruce's parents expectations for his education. 🥹 "Trust him to choose his own course."

"Sounds like a recipe for disaster." 🤣😭 JIM.

"He wants you to talk some sense into me." Aaaaahhhh Bruce eavesdropping!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Cackling, rolling on the floor. I know it's supposed to be sad, but I can't help it!

Alfred said "bloody" again! I swear! I'm gonna count them! x) 3 in 2 episodes for now.

"Alright, Bruce. Talk to me." - "I'm perfectly fine." Yup. That's the response of someone who's not doing well. I mean look at him. 🥲

"Alfred's a worrywart." Bitch. x)

Aaaaahhhh "Talking to someone can be very helpful." - "You must have seen terrible things in the war. Does it help you to talk about what you saw?" - "Yes, a little." - "You're not a very good liar." BOOM!! That exchange!! That's the second time in the episode that someone tells him that. I can't. x) Patterns guys. Patterns!

"I'm testing myself!" What did I say at the beginning, huh!?

Bruce grabbing a biscuit and sitting on the couch. I love when eating is used as a "fuck you/no thank" device. x)

Alfred standing in the corner. Cutie butler. 🥹

AaaaH Bruce talking about the children, talking about money... and Jim saying that what they need is someone to care for them, like Alfred does for him. Well played Jim, well played!! 😌🥹

"There must be something I can do." Oh. Callback? He couldn't do anything for his parents. Now he wants to do something whenever he can? 🤔😭

Oh, they were given clothes then! Right!

"After all this, you're sending us upstate?" Selina's so right! One more trauma for these children and now juvi. Yeay. 🙃🙃🙃🙃 STUPID!

She's 13? Bruce is 11. Huh!

Oh... Her mother is nowhere to be seen, legally considered dead... Another mystery. 🤔

"Go get him (Gordon), or I'll say you touched me." I... Oh My... Ah! She... Ok... Ah... "James Gordon... I'm gonna scream in about three seconds..." SHE IS AH!

Oswald aaaahhhh!! 😌😌

I was wondering when we were gonna get news from your whereabouts...

Laying on the van's floor... Is he wearing borrowed clothes from the man he rented the van from or... Is it the clothes of the dudes that he killed? Could be possible. I can't.

Baby? Your makeup is smudged.

OMG, Gotham's map!! Falcone. The Mayor ("oink"). Wayne. Harvey. Jim (stooge lmao). Fish (Bitch!) with the bloody knife! x) OMG that's someone who's got a plan! 😱😱

His phone ringing, how he got up though. OMG! He kidnapped the guy who was driving!? How did he... OMG!! Oswald!! Why did you... Ah!

Oh MY GOD!! How the guy's mother thinks it's a trick from her son! Like she isn't even trying! Oswald sent a fucking video and asked for 10,000$. He is even willing to lower the ransom. And the woman still isn't buying it! "Well that's disappointing." 🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's peak morbid comedy! x) "She didn't believe me. You must be quite the scamp." RIGHT, huh? How far must you have gone before, that your parents don't even bat an eye at your kidnapping, thinking it's a joke and not even doubting it a second!?

And, Oswald's smile. PLEASE!

Ah, Selina, here finally comes JIM GORDON. 🎉

"I've been watching you. You're friends with the boy. You're not like the rest of those folks." Jim immediately looking around, judging his own colleagues. Damn right girl! x)

"The boy? Bruce? What do you mean you've been watching me?" X)

I love that she's 13 and already got people around her finger. x)

She knows about Mario Pepper being a patsy. Jim is impressed, confused and worried. 🤣🤣

"Could you get me out?" - "It's possible." Jim bargaining. x)

"I saw who really killed the Waynes. Saw him clear as day."

Aaaahhh that's right! She was right there, hiding! Not to get killed herself! 😱😱 Did she actually saw what he looked like? I mean, Bruce saw him up close... Maybe Selina has other informations... details Bruce didn't notice... 🤔 We'll see...

OMG!!

It took me 4 hours to watch the episode & write down my reactions. I press the pause button so much, rewind too! It is so WORTH the time! 😌

Will we hear about the "doll maker" again? 🤔

Oswald got me thinking... He killed a man for a sandwich. Then killed a man for a car and kidnapped the other for money.

Btw, how did he do that, like... The guy should have had physical dominance, right? Let's say Oswald's got secret abilities!

But please! Does this mean he killed before? Like, the old fisherman wasn't his first? 🤔

Btw, that's some elaborate map/planning board that he's got there. That's so amazing seeing where he is now, and knowing what he's going to become later... That's some climbing the ladder of (criminal) success!

Where did he get all the pictures though? Newspaper, magazines??

Anyway...

Building, building, the second episode and more mysteries... and problems. 🤣🤣

Edward seems so innocent for now, that's... Ah!

Okay stopping now.

If you've read that far, THANK YOU!! 🫶💕

Looking forward to the next episode. 😌😍

[ojamayellow]

Earthspark spoilers. It's time for my opinions and theories.

Before I start, I am aware of the writers changing. I will put that into consideration in this. And for the record, I did enjoy Season 2 so far, but I admit it has nothing on S1 for now.

First two episodes were really good, I loved the Breakdad moments, I love Aftermath and we get a glimpse on how the Decepticons have been operating. 2nd episode with the Quintesson gave us some lore and suspense, and I always love a Mo and Thrash tag team. These episodes felt... right for Earthspark, but not as Season 2 starters? If that makes sense.

Hashtag's alt mode is neat, but I miss her chunkiness in robot mode. Made her feel more distinct you know? But I'm with the others saying VAL being an AI in Hashtag's mind is really weird considering what Mandroid did. Maybe she's coping? I have a theory that this VAL might be manipulated in a future episode to control Hashtag, but for the sake of Hashtag's well-being, I HOPE this doesn't happen. (Also, hi Shockwave).

Carnival episode. Is Schloder reduced to an incidental now? I hope not and that he becomes important as well. But also, I figure its a traveling carnival/circus, which makes sense to why we haven't seen this Fairemaestro before, and the little interaction with Swindle shows up 'oh yeah he's a bad guy' already. But you can't just tease a GIANT COSMOS-LOOKING RIDE AND THEN 'OH BTW ITS COSMOS' LAST FEW MINUTES. If Cosmos doesn't show up in later episodes I'll be so disappointed, like...it's freakin' Cosmos! <-Perfect design though. *chef kiss*

I do think the Robby crush on Izzy was cute, but it being involved with the plot felt....eh? It was like, nothingburger to me.

JBAM episode. I LOVED THEM. Jawbreaker has clearly gotten more comfortable with himself and such since Grimlock, but him not taking a hint from Aftermath (who was being direct) reminds me of my younger self. <-Was an insane chatterbox and would not shut up no matter what was said to me.

But the contaminated energon stuff like, yeah callback to that weird bear. Sorry if I forgot, but back in S1, was there a reason GHOST was just leaving it around? I don't remember. And what's with the horrific energon mushrooms, and those poor animals? I know people who are going to be turned off from this show just from that alone, but at least it's 'off screen'? But also Aftermath betraying Jawbreaker hurts, I was hoping he'd like, impress Breakdown with the stolen water BUT NOPE, NO MORE AFTERMATH AND BREAKDAD STUFF. (I know Aftermath was like, not 'what did you just call me' when he was called Son but, cmon!!)

Spitfire episode. I personally think this episode went hard. Gave me Sonic VS Metal Sonic vibes. The fight scenes were really done well, and the tension was so good! To me, Spitfire wanted to be superior but felt inferior when not chosen for the mission, so that desire to be the best consumed her. I'm personally a big fan of this episode, and Alex is awesome. And so was Spitfire, I'm kinda obsessed with her.

Bodyswap episode. Always love a good bodyswap scenario, but somehow this felt... weak. It's plausible for the others to believe Spitfire (as Twitch) had a scrambled processor from the previous episode BUT the fact Wheeljack was the first to catch on? Before a Malto? I'm SO GLAD they referred to Dad2 again but, IDK, feels... strange to me.

Trailer episode. Was kinda nothingburger again? It felt like they needed to add SOMETHING before the horrors of the final two episodes, but maybe I just need to re-watch it because I didn't feel much from it. Optimus was clearly getting aggravated and uncomfortable, which was making me uncomfortable. But also, OPLITA? COMPLICATED? If they don't ever bring this up again I might be a bit...bitter.

And finally, the Witwicky 2-Parter. My anxiety was through the roof here, but I also kinda figured it out early that a Titan was involved. Was still surprised though, and her design is awesome?! But what was making me panic more than anything was Hashtag was going to see Starscream. Yes I know, a one-episode bond may not mean much, but we all had hopes, yeah? Anyway, I love nasty bitch Starscream. It's what makes him Starscream. And I do think what he did was in-character. But it would feel off if Earthspark was someone's introduction to Starscream, you know? This specific one, who's attitude told the audience 'I hate Megatron he abused me so I'd be a better leader than him'. But also...

The scene with him killing the Chaos Terrans was a fucking horror movie. It does a lot when I am SCARED OF STARSCREAM. I wish he didn't do it, but he also needed the shards. If the Autobots/Maltos needed the shards from the Terrans, how would they do it? Would they hesitate to find a safer way to keep the Chaos Terrans alive? Or would there be some sort of urgency? It really makes me think, but Starscream wanted those shards ASAP, he does what he need to do to get what he wants, he's Starscream. A manipulative, traitorous bitch who almost never gets his way in the end.

But you might be wondering, "Kit did you feel like the character development was thrown away for Starscream?" Well, yes and no.

It's really upsetting how Starscream twisted his advice to Hashtag. Truly upsetting. But it also does feel like something a Starscream would do. I keep flip-flopping between "yeah this makes sense" and "um what the FUCK writers". See what I mean by "yes and no?" And Hashtag calling Starscream worse than Megatron AND Screamer taking it as a compliment? Again, very Starscream thing to do, but I think ES! Starscream should've been at least a bit offended?! And out of all bots to call him the worst... Why did it have to be Hashtag? I guess it has more 'meaning', but still...

My theory (or moreso, hopeful thinking) is that Starscream re-invented his advice to Hashtag so he could get detached from her. Starscream had a mission, a personal selfish goal, and he needed to take care of HIMSELF, no friendship. Only comrades willing to follow him, and the Maltos were not those comrades.

My other theory (which I gained from seeing someone on twitter saying this) is that the Chaos Terrans DIDN'T GREY OUT FROM DEATH. Therefore, there is a chance they can return. Maybe something from the Allspark or Matrix or some kinda macguffin will help?! And I sure hope they come back, because they could learn to be good (but still cheeky) and we can bring back the messages and theming from Season 1! Right, right?

As for 'Starscream the child killer'...look, it's upsetting I know. But like I said, selfish goals. And while I am not familiar with every Starscream from different canons, I've met enough versions. Other Starscreams have have committed war crimes, blew up a human hospital, threatened to kill innocents, committed war crimes, wanted to kill everyone to end a war, squished humans in his servos... (yes I know Skybound is more for an adult audience than kids but I'm just saying). War crimes. I am not excusing Starscream's actions here, but when he needs something, he'll do what it takes to get it, for his own selfish goals. It makes sense but I also feel its wrong and I agree with other fans who were quite upset with this scenario. If the Chaos Terrans don't come back I'll be really sad.

Again, I've considered the fact this show has new writers, which is unfortunate. I saw someone on here say that Season 2 (so far) feels like a bootlegged version of S1, which is how I feel about it. I did enjoy the episodes, but they were a bit messy. Also, the lack of Nightshade and honorary family member Bumblebee really made me sad. Was it a script decision, or could they not afford Danny Pudi enough because they used the money on the new cast like Flea? (Don't quote me on like, celebrity net worth here). The lack of Nightshade though is very suspicious though, considering how big of a deal it was for them to exist as a non-binary character.

Side note, Shockwave. I'm glad he finds Cybertron itself more important than creating a New Cybertron, it feels right for him to not care about Earth. But if he going to attempt to lead now? Or something?

If you read this, thanks! If you have any responses feel free to reply or reblog. Feel free to reblog in general, I love hearing opinions and such.