#I'm sorry I couldn't do better this year
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DAY 101 (103): do it for Them
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isat spoilers#artfight#oh my gyooood i hate drawing lightning. swagever#sorry loop for using your possessed face but i think of this stupid meme every time i see it#i'm actually soooo pissed off about the themes this year. because seafoam is true to my aesthetic to my Thing to my Me#but........for loop..............................#i'm on team stardust idk i might switch teams at some point. whatevar#anyways i might go light on posting this month for artfight. i didnt really plan for day 100 to line up with the start of artfight#but it works out i guess !#my plan for a while was to stop altogether at day 100 but i've had too much fun to stop now. but i really do need a break#i havent drawn characters who are not loop or sometimes siffrin in so long. lol#anyways this day marking system is stupid but i couldn't think of anything better sooooooo. swagever once more
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Personally I'm choosing not to see Jey's IC Championship reign as a "hand off" ; or "transitional" ; or an obligatory "reward" —
He deserves better than his reign being "labeled".
This is all for the draw back into the Bloodline drama story. From the very beginning, this is what it was. But, also... It was to show that Jey IS capable. He showed he DOES deserve it. Showing he IS a Champion. Showing he CAN do it. He's proved he's got the fans with him. He's backed himself. He's established himself, and he's proven himself. He's always going to stick to and believe - "hard work will always pay off."
Of course Roman and Jimmy weren't going to interfere. Jey would've been absolutely livid if they did. He doesn't want them 'tainting' his reign. He wants it on his own merit. To earn it himself. Even if that means loosing. He sure as heck isn't going to go back to the old ways of the Bloodline retaining their championships; Roman's way of remaining Champ, and retaining.
This could possibly push him over the edge, making him desperate, scratchy, scrappy and scrambling even. He's now got *rage*; a bone to pick with the Bloodline 2.0. How's it going to tie in with the OG Bloodline? Even if they have the same goal now - taking down baby brother Solo? Is it going to be "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" type of situation? Or, like I mentioned in my previous post, "fix/heal what's between us" before we try and fix the outside — then we "fix" the outside together?
Having one over them, with the title was one of the things that gave Jey the confidence to say -Screw you. Right now, I am better than you, I've got the credibility- Now that he doesn't have that (not that he needs it) is he going to be a little more susceptible...
This IS the reaction they (wwe) wanted -
Outrage and desperation seeping into us. The fury, rage and disappointment so palpable. Our hearts beating with heated anger, inflamed with a certain kind of sadness. It has us aching for him, backing him more than ever before. He's made to suffer and all we want to do is pick him up and make sure he's okay, and he's given the best. Hold his hand and walk with him into a bright and better future filled with greater things.
All I can say is that he's got another level of support after this ridiculous travesty, the support has only grown; strengthen, heightened, deepened, intensified, and cemented to an even greater degree.
#Jey Uso#Jimmy Uso#Roman Reigns#Roman has convinced himself Jey wants nothing to do with them. And he's right.#Jimmy was flat on the ground dragged and beaten. He probably couldn't have helped even if he wanted to.#Jey wouldn't have wanted that anyway. But he's MAD NOW. And Solo and his posse better watch out.#I don't think Jey is going to be stuck in the Bloodline and go back to being Roman's sidekick. sorry. right-hand man forever.#I'll be honest. I hate that they gave us a taste only to brutally yank it away from us. He better go onto bigger and better things.#Something satisfying. captivating. gripping. brilliant. touching. stirring. fulfilling and with FEELING.#I know I'm asking for a lot. But I'm not. Okay I am. But. I'm really not.#He honestly doesn't NEED a reward (although they are wonderful) OR to PROVE himself.#He's been on top of the game for at least *10 YEARS* now in wwe. He's one half of the 'greatest tag-team'...#...I feel like THAT in itself is the prize. THAT in itself is the honor.#IC Championship#The Bloodline#OG Bloodline#The Bloodline 2.0#Solo Sikoa#wwe
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RESIDENT EVIL → THE WESKER FAMILY
To the public, little is known of the families behind some of the world’s most renowned bioterrorists, but the question remains: did they play a role in causing their children to walk down the path that they did? Or are these individuals simply ambitious criminals with delusions of grandeur?
For Diana Wesker (née Afanasyeva), her introduction into the bioweapons black market trade was upon discovering her employers were using her research into limb regeneration with salamanders to further their experiments in creating enhanced soldiers, instead of developing human therapies with which she was recruited for. Although the prospect of using biological weapons in the military did not appeal to her, the concept remained fascinating for her own selfish endeavours. Born on the 27th of October, 1963 in Sydney, Australia to Russian immigrant parents, Diana had harsh expectations placed upon her at a young age, ones that no matter how hard she tried she could never live up to. Her mother, Tatyana, was an unfeeling woman, absent for long stretches of time with little regard to how it affected her daughters, much more concerned with her craft as an accomplished opera singer. Viktor was no better. A strict man whose role as father and ballet master blurred, he pushed his girls to one day follow in his footsteps. Whilst Sofia enjoyed ballet, and went on to become a professional ballet dancer, Diana’s heart was set on going into the field of biology. She wished to make a name for herself, separate from her family – to which she succeeded.
Diana was married to former U.S. Marine, Dave Monroe, for only a year until he was declared dead in 1992 after succumbing to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident. Foul play was ruled out while Diana played the role of the grief-stricken widow, but in reality, she had snapped after years of mistreatment at her husband’s hands, and opted for something she could pass off as an accident to be free of him. For years she believed he was dead – and he was, legally – but that proved to not be the case when he found his way back into her life again in 1999. Unbeknownst to her, she had been lied to by the police and coroner, who were paid off by her employers when they took Dave’s body for themselves and used him as one of their first test subjects in developing supersoldiers. Before he could ever hurt her again, Diana’s second husband, Albert Wesker, tracked the man down, captured him and tortured him, before allowing Diana to get her violent and bloody revenge.
The origins of Albert Wesker’s involvement in bioterrorism, alongside his twin sister, Alex, are much different than that of Diana’s. The two hail from London, Canada, but unfortunately, they hold no memories of their lives there, nor what happened to their biological parents when they were eight years old. Agents of Oswell E. Spencer, an aristocratic billionaire and eugenicist, took the twins from their home and executed their parents as per Spencer’s orders. Albert and Alex were then placed in a home funded by the Spencer Foundation where they were given new names and a privileged upbringing. They had access to the best education possible, free to pursue whichever field they decided, but it was by no accident they both went into virology and bioengineering; at home, their adoptive parents – agents whom they believed to be their real parents – instilled them with the beliefs of Oswell E. Spencer, harbouring disdain for war and pestilence, and believing humans to be an evolutionary dead-end in need of a rebirth. They were only two of the hundreds of children “adopted” as part of what is known as Project W, a plan intended to develop an advanced race of human beings. The most promising candidates were headhunted by Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, the twins amongst them, where they went on to create bioweapons for the company founded by none other than the man who had handpicked them for his plan. The final stage of this was to infect the thirteen Spencer saw fit, however, only two survived; Albert received the intended effects, now possessing superhuman abilities, however, Alex was only offered more time to live due to her terminal degenerative illness.
In the summer of 1995, Diana was working undercover within Umbrella to gather development data on their projects for her company. Here, she had a chance encounter with Albert, an intelligence officer at the time, which permanently altered the course of her life. The two were never seen far from one another’s side, marrying in 1998, and they went on to become notorious in the bioweapons industry. The development of the Uroboros virus was where things took a turn for the worst. Although Diana’s infection was successful and she bore abilities that rivalled her husband’s, the plan itself did not succeed as they had hoped, and almost cost Albert his life at the hands of his former subordinates.
Now, they work within the shadows, with Diana declared missing and Albert believed to be dead. Their legacy, however, lives on with the mark they left on the world. As visionaries in their field, they influenced bioterror attacks carried out by countless individuals and organisations. In turn, they also inspired others to fight against such atrocities. One such person happens to be Albert’s son from a former relationship, Jake Müller, whose existence he was unaware of.
#mine.#oc: diana#pair: ewskers#click for better quality cause it's large & tumblr ate it ♡#hii so happy birthday diana !! queen is 60 today :]#um. there's no template cause i made this from scratch...i couldn't find any i was vibing with so i was like you know what lmaoo#i'm sorry for the essay...it was meant to be just a short rundown of the family but well...that happened. typical leah fashion...#oh and guys. did you know that there's a limit to the amount you can put in one blockquote? that's why the rest is just left like that caus#i didn't like how it looked with a blockquote each paragraph...cause the spaces between were unever. you understand 😔#with the tree i was also going to include weskids adoptive parents but i couldn't figure out how to arrange it all & make it look nice !!#cause i also wanted to have spencer in there as well cause he's a big reason why the weskids are the way they are...was maybe gonna include#sherry as well. like connected to jake (hehe) and then do her parents too but that would've made things so wide & it's already big enough#yes. i hc that albert & alex are biological twins. just for clarification there :] i don't think i added anything else that isn't canon or#implied with canon. cause the weskids were put in homes (or at least whatever ''controlled environments'' means) where they were monitored#by umbrella but were unaware of it. so yeah. i don't think i really changed much there !!#honestly i could've kept rambling cause there's alex's whole situation. there's my lore with jake's mum. there's way more with the ewskers#but it's already so long & i can't be concise so there's that lmaoo oh also diana's grandma. so much stuff#also meant to say the weskids birthday in that ramble. it's january 15 1960 :] they are capricorn sun leo moons but alex was born earlier s#their rising signs are albert is a scorpio rising & alex is a libra rising !!#had to redo the image cause typo on diana's birth year for some reason lmao so if that messed up the formatting i will sob
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Ok, back to girlblogging eheh (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
#wren text tag#like I said I got busy with my finals and I still have to take 2 exams in a week or so#and I know I could have been online in the time being#sadly I got ill and had to take antibiotics for the third time since the beginning of this year 😂 didn't feel like being silly#or drawing stuff in general sorry 🙏 mostly I tried to get better#there's no way I will have to postpone those finals#very funny how this month I wasn't online all the things happend#final chapter of StS: ND is out and oh boy#they announced a new Lady Oscar anime and * Oh Boy *#also a new Magic Knight Rayearth might drop in some time (oh boy but we will see)#oh yes I think Lore Olympus should finish soon bc I remember reading the announcement some time ago#and Roll20 got hacked again I'm 😐😐😐 can you please stop getting hacked I don't want my email full of spam again 😊💖#btw I haven't read the latest chapter of ND yet. I think I will wait until it gets published in italian (hopefully 🙏🙏🙏)#tho that doesn't mean that the second I logged in I saw 300 posts abt it 🤨 lol I cannot escape spoilers I guess#but IDK guys... I've seen some reviews and I had a “is this a jojo reference” kind of moment that I cannot explain#well I have the vague feeling of knowing how to explain it but also I will wait until I've actually * read * it#yeah now I will go to check my inbox byeeee 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️#I never get tagged in anything but for reasons I was? Obv when I was in my sickly victorian child era and I couldn't do anything for it#Wren arriving late to the party once again lmfao 😂
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waking up from.a frightening dream at 4am in which a scary book was central which in the dream (could sort of tell I was dreaming on one level) I thoroughly believed was a real book that had been brought up the other day irl & that my dreaming mind was riffing off of bc I had not read yet. but having woken up. I'm not entirely convinced this is the case. and now I'm kind of scared to look it up tbh bc what's worse that it doesn't exist but I've dreamed about it several different nights & it's broken down my dream/reality conscious barrier (& I might dream it again??? this does happen to me) or that it does & I have to live in a world where it exists & I could read it.
#seriously considering just not sleeping any more & just getting up now at 4am now lol. i don't want to go back to sleep#thoughts#tbc in the dream the book was just a horror type deal it wasn't actually like. powerful. beyond the way it warped my 'levels' of reality#which ngl has shaken me bc i can usually tell well enough if I'm dreaming even if I can't act on it#so some sort of scary narrative/reality breakdown here#<- sorry for the distracted rambling I'm still half asleep & twitching at weird sounds. i will feel better shortly though i usually do#the last time this happened i was in high school & having a dream i could tell i was dreaming in & then 'woke up' & rolled over to find a#perfect representation of my room except the lady from my dream was standing in the middle of it facing away from me oddly still. & then#when i woke up for real I couldn't make myself turn over for like an hour i was so distressed abt what I'd see but also more importantly#that i didn't know/couldn't reliably trll if i was dreaming or not. terrifying prospect tbh#also like i DO have dreams with sequrls/repeats/returns sometimes even years later & 'remember' the last one. nightmares included.#which i hate btw
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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#so that dotd rewrite is out and i have some thoughts on it but i wouldn't know where to put them.. maybe in here bc i don't actually feel -#- like making a whole ass text post. this is coming from me as criticism and not hate.. just some crit from one fan to another if you get m#SPOILERS AHEAD >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#first off props to the team because this was obv a labor of love - 4 and a half years to make a feature long fan movie is hard work#and the animated stuff was a really nice touch and very commendable - you don't see them too often in big fanworks#in terms of the story well.. there are some things i like and some things that i don't (personally) again no hate#i'm aware this is a rewrite and boy howdy it IS a rewrite - though i am a bit sad that percy doesn't end up being the protagonist and it's#- thomas that has to play hero again.. like i kinda get it but what made the original dotd stand out was that percy was given the spotlight#so i spent an ungodly amount of time wondering when percy was gonna take charge or step into the main story to resolve the problem.. sigh#i liked that they tried to give norman more of a character bc a lot of characters do often get neglected in the series but it was kind of -#- hard to sell that for me? the twist in this rewrite was very creative and i do appreciate it but i guess it just ain't for me#“different” is ok and this is just one of many fan rewrites for this particular story#if there was something i enjoyed.. i guess the beginning was still kind of exciting because the set up was honestly like hype a bit#i liked that diesel and d10 actually got to interact face to face and there are clearer dynamics established for the diesels#and also. silverband's performances as d10 will always be fun he does a fantastic job voicing him (how d10 stole xmas will still be my fav)#my criticisms for this movie also derive from the pacing and the voice acting - i found it hard to try and understand tones sometimes -#- because the delivery felt so off.. like don't get me wrong not everyone in the fandom is a voice actor but if we're using static faces -#- for these fan works the delivery has to be a little more clear or else it'll sound like you're reading from a script.. sorry yall :"|#for the pacing i found it a bit hard to parse when some things were going on and how fast things were progressing#as well as the crashes.. that's also another thing bc i couldn't tell bc of the sfx and audio balancing - it could be better..#i wanna say. muffled voices do not substitute for a “far away”/off-screen voice bc i still can't hear it :“|#there were a lot of throwbacks and references to older thomas media/movies but some of them felt a little.. much?#if this is a dotd rewrite why are we getting some parallels with tatmr.. but i digress. at least they made diesel beef with duck a bit#there's a lot more i could say but i'm keeping those to myself. at the end of the day this fan movie was hard work for everyone involved#and you can tell some of the folks were having fun in there - props to them! i'm always glad to see more fan works in the community#we've come so far we're making feature length fan stories and rewrites that's crazy! i hope to see more in the future#fauxtrainpost.txt
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okay i really AM working on the path to paradise. if all goes according to plan i'll have chapter 15 this weekend AHHHHHH
#oh man i feel so bad#it doesn't help that i've been 'trying' to start writing it again the past two days and i'm getting stuck on the first few paragraphs#my new job transition has been....... interesting#palliative medicine is.... a completely different beast#in the sense that like. you have so much time to talk to patients. to try to help them feel better.#we're doing formal communication training. roleplaying. consistent and reasonable hours#its hard to step back and slow down after spending the last 3 years in critical care#but this is... nice. important. i think its gonna be good.#also! i really AM going to comic con!!!!!!#i can't believe i've lived in sd for 6 years and never got to go#obviously i scalped the tickets and WAY overpaid for them#but tbh its kinda a bucket-list once-in-a-lifetime thing for me#i can imagine its going to be EXTREMELY overwhelming#but i am excited about it. truly.#ANYWAY. i also played all of persona 3 reload and persona 4 golden#predictably kanji is my favorite from p4. obviously naoto too.#p3? hard to say. koromaru definitely.#i have a soft spot for aigis and shinjiro also#a bit dissapointed that you couldn't play female protag like how are they going to resell a nearly 20 year old game without including that.#and that project aigis wasn't included. i mean i'm gonna buy it but i'm not gonna be happy about it#...anyway. love you guys. sorry i've been not good at writing BUT NEVER GIVE UP ON MEEEEE
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the vampire diaries 8.16 // louise gluck, crossroads
“and damon, like the voiceover tell us, he was worried he would never see stefan again. it was just elena assuring him that there would be peace. that we’ve dealt with this other side of darkness for several seasons, but there’s also light out there and there’s peace, and damon will find it. if you search for it, you will find it. and we wanted to get that last moment to see that [...] damon found it too, and it looked just like his brother.” — kevin williamson
#not really satisfied with this one but eh#i don't envy gifmakers who've giffed the tunnel scene btw bc the lighting. my god. a travesty#anyway. beating this dead horse of an ep to death to eke out every last drop of defan it has to offer#the contrast between damon's expression when reuniting with elena vs stefan kills meeeee#he's doing THE most for stefan but for elena... go girl give us nothing dot jpeg fjskfjdj#also in typical spn brainrot fashion while listening to damon's anguished declaration of love toward stefan in the tunnel or whatever#i kept comparing it to dean's 7 minutes of incest ahh speech in the finale and. my god lol#like i'm aware pitting damon i-stole-my-little-brother's-gf-and-let-him-drown-while-locked-in-a-safe-for-three-months salvatore#against dean i-sold-my-soul-for-my-little-brother-and-i-will-do-it-again-without-hesitation winchester#is unfair to damon but damon's speech is SO bland and half-assed in and of itself#and it absolutely PALES in comparison to dean's speech it's actually pathetic lmfao#i couldn't stop thinking abt dean confessing that he stood outside sam's dorm for hours before barging in#bc he was scared sam would tell him to get lost#and it made me think that the writers could've made damon's speech that much more personal and impactful#by maybe throwing in a line like “i didn't come back to mystic falls all those years ago /just/ for katherine”#it would've recontextualized their reunion in the first ep and given the hello brother moment so much more depth#give us something authentic! something the audience isn't privy to!#something only damon would know and keep buried in the deepest darkest corner of his black heart!#like!!! i'm sorry but damon's dying (not really) declaration of love toward stefan reads so generic lol#just smacks of lack of creativity on the writers' part which. tbf. is like all of tvd post s3 lmao#maybe it's a me problem idk i just think the speech could've been. well. better (obviously i blame plec she gave kevin a whole lotta nothin#like once you sit down and start dissecting damon's words they don't feel /that/ weighted. if that makes any sense#ok so maybe i just wanted him to say he didn't come back to mystic falls just for kat ! sue me#ANYWAY. someone please for the love of god write me a post finale canon compliant defan fic#a defan-in-the-afterlife fic if you will#or a damon-being-miserable-after-stefan's-death-and-being-really-shit-at-coping fic. that works too#wowee these tags are a mess#defan#the vampire diaries#web weave
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Dad mad because I didn't make dinner yay now I will dissociate forever
#which I'm sure will not make him more mad.#sorry i didn't know you were coming home late so i had not budgeted energy for cooking#i know it's really inconvenient for you thst my illness effects me I'm really sorry about that.#felt good enough to do a bit of work today but because that's just for me it doesn't count#and now i won't be able to do anything for the rest of the evening :) and he will be passive aggressive with me or just not talk to me :)#i hate that he has this power over me to make me feel so small#I've done so much work in therapy this year with how he makes me feel but what's the fucking point if he still behaves like a child#i constantly feel like I'm walking on egg shells around him#and god forbid anything he ever does upsets me that couldn't be possible.#already having a difficult time today but that's just making excuses according to him#had a migrain scare earlier which really threw me off but i managed to get past it and try and do some work#which made me feel a lot better and more in control ahd then he just fucking shatters it#i don't care if this sounds silly to you reading this I'm really dissociating and I'm trying to process what I'm feeling#so i don't completely shut down because that will make everything worse
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#mine#writers of tumblr#poetry#spilled ink#writing#okay to rb#poem#spilled words#tw: trauma#tw: suicide#i've been gone for a while#from everywhere because i just constantly feel like i don't belong anywhere#also because everything i wrote was just so subpar and flat#then my dad moved back to where i live and well...#it all just built up inside me and i couldn't take it#tbh i don't even know what i'm doing or why i'm doing it#i'm still here and maybe that's not nothing when i've tried so hard to die but i just don't feel like i'm all here anymore#sorry if this is still awful writing#i hope you've been well and that this new year is infinitely better than the last#i'm glad you're here#i hope you stick around a little longer
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like go fucking cunt your boyfriends shouldn't feel like they're walking on eggshells everytime you're around. no wonder neither of us wanted to kiss you because we were so disinterested because you made us feel fucking awful!!! oh my god
#honestly i'm just mad at how fucking? idk immature she was? like yeah we were 14 but oh my god you didn't have to put lasting scars on B-#-and then act like you were in the right like at least ypu could've apologized to him after a few fucking years. or maybe even when he asked#and god don't fucking act like you're the most mature person in the room when you can't handle your boyfriend asking you-#to respect his boundaries that she has set up FOR MONTHS. don't turn the conversation onto how he fucked up once you can have a separate-#fucking conversation on that. but NOOO conveniently you bring it up months after it happened when somebody's bringing up shit to you!!#and you change the conversation before you have to admit fault!!???? GOD. how much of a bitch are you???#god at least i /tried/ to be better at communicating. did better after we broke up because you keep squashing all my fucking efforts dirtbag#god ok. god. still so fucking annoying. like god i cried not because you did shit to me but you hurt B so fucking much. like god#it's hard to make me cry like that esp back then. goddd. so glad i haven't been forced to talk to you in years#AND B WAS FUCKING GUILTY FOR “breaking our friend group apart” BECAUSE HE COULDN'T HANDLE SEEING YOU#like god. you fucked that guy up for years. so fucking glad she's doing better but oh my god. jackass#sorry anyways#babble#vent
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@naivesilver‘s Eyeteeth (Like stalactites in a cave)
“It was a long strip of green cloth, finely embroidered along the edges, like a scarf or a belt to loop around the waist, in what seemed to be Camelot’s style.”
#hi!!! hello!!!!!!!!!#happy graduation!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3#I was originally gonna post this tomorrow but figured it would be better to post earlier and avoid bothering you#anyway I've been meaning to make this gifset for AGES now#and since (unfortunately) I do not possess the ability to write atm...now was the perfect time for it#anyway anyway.... I'm very proud of you <3 enjoy your green outfit tomorrow ~#naivesilver#thousand problems#also HI I know that pinocchio is like....years too young here#but I also couldn't NOT include him so.... yeah. sorry. 7 year old pinocchio it is#ouat#eyeteeth
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hi its "almost died as an infant" aoki stan anon again. im still thinkin about what to say medical wise BUT U GUYS HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ABT HIS DEATH like im already frustrated with the "redemption by honorable death" thing that the game keeps doing (east asia has such high suicide rates i dont think its a very responsible narrative to continue telling in general tbh) but especially for a disabled character who had every right to feel vulnerable and betrayed and get a little evil. hes not Right but hes very Understandable and relatable. but then he still chose to live on and face the consequences (ARGUABLY HARDER AND MORE RESPONSIBLE. A GOOD EXAMPLE AND EXPECTATION TO SET especially for a POLITICIAN) and then they kill him anyway with some fuckin BULLSHIT EXCUSE and i feel like its partially because nobody can be bothered to put the effort into continuing a compelling and morally grey disabled narrative and it. hurts to be cast aside like that. especially after they made such a big deal about ichiban being a NEW protagonist/saga with a NEW identity and then. you still just gave me nishiki 2.0. you retold me the exact same story and used a blatant asspull to FORCE it to be the same story and give ichiban a dead brother figure to lament over for the next 5 games???? rgg i thought you wanted him to be different from kiryu???? sigh. it better be a fakeout and he resurfaces perfectly fine in a few games like kashiwagi or else i'm going to start scaling the walls of the rgg office and dismantling it piece by piece
hey howdy. can we call you MAS (medical aoki stan) ima call you mas cause i'd like to hear *mas from you haha gottem
BUT YEAH NO YOU'RE RIGHT. like i joke that ichi and aoki were kiryu and nishiki 2.0 but at least with nishiki, his death was like. .2% more valid while aoki's it's like..... rage. anger. death. i hate it here. this was so fucking stupid there was literally no need for this other than to fill a quota and try to make a "ichi really is the heir to kiryu's legacy" statement. LIKE ICHI IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEW FACE, GIVE HIM SOMETHING DIFFERENT- LET HIM KEEP HIS BROTHER SO THEY CAN PURSUE THE FUTURE TOGETHER THIS TIME
it's especially more upsetting regarding aoki as "being cast aside" because we can discern that was a huge thing for him and was a big reason why he turned out the way he did- being seen as useless or something that could easily be disposed off, so for the narrative to do just that right at the very end when it looked as though it was promising him a better future is just so...... rgg you're always so close but not close enough im going to strangle you
#snap chats#*means 'more' in spanish. i would like to hear more from you bestie :)#but yeah dont even get me started on the 'honor suicide' epidemic#my family's seasian in case we couldn't discern and while most of us try not to be self-sacrificing for 'redemption'#my brother has a really bad habit of doing it and being really self destructive whenever he wrongs someone#i had a bad tendency to do it too when i was younger but ive gotten better over the years#and listen in terms of rgg and yakuza i get it- makes sense for yakuza characters who are high on honor to want to abide by that#but aoki isnt yakuza- he hates yakuza LMAO so the fact he still falls victim to that narrative is so....#UGH rgg you're gonna make me say 'aoki baby im so sorry' at this rate I WONT. BUT I AM VERY CLOSE TO IT#i just think he should have gotten a better ending when he was willing to pursue one#it just makes me angry... like cmon....#someone said that aoki's death was a cruel irony since his choice was taken from him like how he took choice from others#and while that IS a sexy way to interpret the ending i wont even LIE i'm still pissed like rAGHGH#please say psyche @ the funeral please tell me the funeral was cap#please tell me he just went into a coma for the past five years idfk im not delusional tho. i know rgg sucks and killed him
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ok but this last episode of doom patrol really said 'we're doing uncomfortable camp bc even we can't keep up real quirky when it comes to fucked up relationships with fathers'
#by this last episode I mean the Dorothy ep I just realized I haven't watched this last one I think#they really don't fuck around when it comes to dads it's always been hard hitters#I feel like execs pushed this episode or the format on them and everyone went girls at party staring dot jaypeg#bc all of the other episodes where fathers are directly discussed have been extremely heavy#everything with cliff and his daughter and related how Dorothy was placed above clara and how cliff has to try to build a relationship when#30 years have been stolen#everything with Kay and Miranda and Jane especially we saw during her split into existence how that affects the system#Larry as an emotionally distant and critical father and then entirely absent was like. the plot or at least two episodes#and then we get this. dead eyed 'space case is on the case. I guess' 'yeah no I want to stop actively try killing my dad even tho my dad#literally just tried to kill me'#literally Maura lee korupt was sooooo over it. all of us felt ur pain in this episode miss Maura lee#I'm so sorry they put you thru that but them making Abigail Shapiro say love always wins (potentially hundreds of times) is like. beautiful#karmic punishment that I couldn't do better if I tried
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One issue I have is there's a whole lot of things where it's like "I'm actually nearly on your side, I'm very sympathetic to this, I just need one or two issues addressed and then I'd be with you on this... you just have to kinda... walk me through how this thing that feels like a kinda big problem isn't a problem"
And pretty much always it's just kinda like "oh, well it's not a problem, so don't worry about it"
...mhh... yeah... but I need some actual proof. I want to trust you, but I need something that actually deals with it, not to just basically be told to have faith... I have no faith, I'm a faithless person
And it's such a shame cause... instead of being able to work along side people I tend to hover off to the side trying to support it in my own small ineffective ways cause... I just have serious issues no one's ever bothered to address
Just sucks, you know?
#sorry; just can't get behind dogmatic stuff#there's people where it's like frankly I'd like to believe every word you say and just blindly agree with you because I like you very much#but... I can't#...I can't cause it sure seems like if we do things your way people will get hurt#and... you're... kinda... just... you know... pointing at tumblr posts and saying you think you heard this or that#ok; but... could we like... do research together and try and come as close to the objective truth as possible?#and then try and build our thoughts on how to support the best possible world based on the best information we can get?#I want to just follow blindly but... I can't#and I'm thinking of one thing right now; one particular thing; but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of others I could point to#and listen; I'm not saying I'm right or I'm smart#but if you ask I can at least draw you a line from point a to point z and walk you through why I think what I think#like I can tell you why I support Ukraine so strongly; I can point to patterns of behavior by russia#if you have the stomach for it I can walk you through war crimes; I can show why I don't think giving up land is acceptable#(the war crimes are relevant to why I don't think it's acceptable to ask Ukraine to give up territory... there's people living there)#it might take some time; a day or so maybe; but if you asked me a specific thing I would work to track you down a source on my opinion#like you don't have to take my word about the damn that russia blew; I can prove that happened#and then I can lay out why I find anything but that russia did it to not make a lick of sense#but... why on earth would I bother with all that; no one ever listens#last time I tried to explain to someone that they were mistaken about 80% of US currency being printed in the last 4 years#or... whatever total bullshit claim it was#I tracked down the source of the claim (said to myself this source reeks like shit)#I figured out what they were fudging to claim it; then I tracked that down and figured out what it actually said#(they changed how they account for US currency in foreign hands or something like that to try and account for it better)#(it's a change in how we tabulate things; the exact same amount of money exists; we just count it different)#(and so on the chart you have this jump... but it's a jump of a measurement not existing before and now it does)#(or something like that... no one listened last time I looked it up; why the fuck would I look it up for this)#and this is someone I'm friendly with and they couldn't even be bothered to say 'huh; I'm not convinced but thanks'#or whatever; you know; main point is they couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge it#do you know why I feel like I'm invisible? like I probably don't actually exist?#why if I were less in touch with reality I'd think the government swats messages of mine down so people can't respond?
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