#I'm sorry I can't keep the promise
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A werewolf knight promised a bride in return for his unflinching loyalty and unmatched battle prowess.
His Jarl thinks the most beautiful, talented, and wellbred Lady of the island will suit nicely as his gift.
But the wolf has already made his choice -- he'd made it long before he ever went to war. Everything he did, every terrible, horrible, deadly thing, he did it for her.
And since he was promised a bride, well. Who can stop him? It's his due, after all.
#who holds his leash? certainly not the laird and certainly not this wench they're trying to foist upon him#he's GOING to kick up a fuss and start biting people if he doesn't get his way#Viking style etiquette but it takes place in the same universe as Dr. Pragma and Kelsi and Ettienne and Mason#which is gaslamp Victorian and modern cityscape prospectively#anything is possible <3#jk they're all modern but with elements of their respective romance timescapes for spice <3#anyway. this poor little bakers daughter.#she doesn't even know. she's like 'oh I'm so SORRY you have to be married to a peniless nobody like me. i promise I'll fix it and you can#be married to someone you actually like 🥺' and he just lets her keep thinking that because it makes her easier to manipulate and less liable#to flinch when he gets a bit. handsy. with her. becuase obv he wouldn't come on to someone he doesn't even like!#but then she brings up the concept of annulment ('well have to sleep in seperate beds of course. we can't let them get the wrong idea') and#the gig is up. he's like no we WILL be fucking. you're mine.#and then she tries to run (doesn't know about chase-instinct)
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Who dya think Pomni would've bitten?
well when i was drawing it i wasn't thinking of anyone specific... so it can be whoever you want!
however... let's go through the suspects
jax would definitely bully someone into a violent rage... no need to explain that one i think
caine and kinger might unintentionally startle pomni into attacking, but i think they're a little too... uh. weird for it to be all that climactic? caine would just go "BAD!! BAD POMNI!!" and spritz her with a spray bottle until she let go, meanwhile kinger probably wouldn't even notice until pomni had already stopped...
gangle and zooble probably wouldn't be bitten just because they'd avoid a high-strung pomni. gangle out of fear, and zooble because they're not stupid enough to poke a ticking time bomb
and for ragatha... i'm just gonna leave this other anon's idea here because... yeah
definitely unintentional on both sides, but isn't that where the best tragedy lies?
#ragatha bite anon you are a shining star#i'm keeping that ask in my inbox for now because i might come back to it later. no promises though#ughhhh another long reply sorry#this is why i try to answer question with doodles instead bc i have can't stop talking disease and it's chronic 😭#but there's like 50 of them piled up now so i might have to admit defeat and just. let myself yap... sorry 😔#ask response#chompni
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Today I got to have an entire 3 message long dm convo with Alex Hirsch. I am never getting over this high.
#Alex Hirsch#this is the greatest day of my life#I even managed to show total decorum#didn't even use any words like decorum#I wanted to. but I didn't.#didn't even use the word macabre. wanted to do that too. I used normal words that normal humans use#as to not sound like a complete and total tool#hopefully ahfkajgkkak#I restrained myself to only saying 3 messages bc any more than that and I'd have to publically execute myself for overstepping boundaries#and I didn't even use any key smashes! and only One socially acceptable emoji.#I can't stop myself from using emojis entirely. those are a disability accomodation at this point ahfkjskgjskgjak#hey are these normal things to think#I think so#I got his twitter message directly at the start of my train ride and I've been processing my emotions for the rest of the trip#I keep nearly flagging down the train attendants to be like 'hiiii can I tell you about the good news :) not in a jesus way I promise'#but once again: restraint 🙏#you're WELCOME train attendants#it was so funny though Alex was like 'lemme know what you want to have grunkle stan say!'#and even when given permission to talk I was like damn he's going to kill me if I send a message#but I sent it#and he was very very nice#and will be sending me the grunkle stan recording tomorrow (✷‿✷)#work is going to be physically impossible tomorrow#sorry customers please pardon me while I run to the produce cooler and scream at the top of my lungs for 20-30 minutes#fluffle talks#what's the opposite of emotional devastation. bc I'm that right now.
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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"FREEZE YOUR BRAIN" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
I regret my life choices of not being able to actually start studying. Here's "Freeze Your Brain" adapted in Italian!
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[J.D.] Sono stato in dieci superiori Tutte la stessa scenetta Inutile abituarsi Perché ce ne andiamo di fretta Mio padre tiene nel baule pronti due bagagli Quindi è solo una questione di ricaricarli I nomi non imparo Che faccia è di chi non m'è chiaro La fiducia in questa oasi di cemento riparo Sembra che ogni volta che sto per disperarmi C'è un 7-Eleven ad aspettarmi Ogni negozio è lo stesso Da Las Vegas all'Ohio Corsie di linoleum che adoro Vagare io Prego al mio altare di granita; Sì, adoro quella dolce botta di vita...
Congela il cervello Succhia dalla cannuccia Meglio di un coltello Arriva la felicità Quando tutto se ne va A chi serve uno spinello? Congela il cervello Congela il cervello
[J.D., parlato] Ti va un tiro?
[VERONICA, parlato] La tua mammina sa che mangi tutta quella merda?
[J.D., parlato] Non più
(cantato) Quando mamma era viva Vivevamo quasi normalmente Ora siamo solo io e mio padre Stiamo meno formalmente Ho imparato a cucinare Le tasse a pagare; Imparato che'l mondo Nemmeno un cent ti vorrà dare Il tuo futuro hai pianificato Veronica Sawyer Andrai a qualche college E sposerai un avvocato Ma il cielo farà male Quando su di te sarà demolito Quindi è meglio se Il tuo muro l'avrai già costruito...
Congela il cervello Nuota nel ghiaccio Perditi nel suo doloroso bello Chiudi bene i tuoi occhi Fino a che non ti vedran quegli sciocchi Non diventare uno zimbello
Congela il cervello Distruggiti il teschio Combatti il dolore con uno più bello Dimentica chi sei Liberati da quel peso Dimentica in un mese e mezzo Riavrai lo stesso frainteso Quando la voce nella tua testa Dice ch'uno come te è meglio se non resta Non ascoltare a quello
Solo congela il cervello Congela il cervello Vai avanti e congela il cervello...
(parlato) Provaci So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)
[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They're all the same little scene (but little in this case is meant in a negative light) No point getting used to it 'Cause we're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases ready in the den So it's only a matter of refilling(/repacking) them I don't learn the names Whose faces is whose isn't clear to me My trust resides in this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven waiting for me Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Ohio Linoleum aisles that I love To walk around in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for sweet hit of life (or however you call that, basically gives life force again but something that gives you life force not in a literal sense)...
Freeze your brain Suck from that straw Better than a knife Happiness comes When everything goes Who needs a joint? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain
[J.D., spoken] You want a hit?
[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
[J.D., spoken] Not anymore
(sung) When mom was alive We lived almost normally But now it's just me and my dad We live less formally I learned to cook pasta To pay taxes; Learned the world Won't want to give you even a cent You've planned your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it'll be demolished on you So it'll be better if You'll have already built your wall
Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in its beautiful pain Shut your eyes tight(/well) Till those fools (sorry I had to use this for the rhyme) won't see you Don't become a laughingstock
Freeze your brain Destroy your skull Fight pain with a more beautiful one Forget who you are Free yourself from that weight Forget in a month and a half You'll have the same misunderstanding again When the voice in your head Says someone like you is better off gone Don't listen to that guy(/him)
Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...
(spoken) Try it OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den So it's only a matter of when I don't learn the names Don't bother with faces All I can trust is this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven right there Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Boston Linoleum aisles that I love To get lost in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush...
Freeze your brain Suck on that straw Get lost in the pain Happiness comes When everything numbs Who needs cocaine? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain See upcoming pop shows Get tickets for your favorite artists
[J.D., spoken] Care for a hit?
[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
[J.D., spoken] Not anymore
(sung) When mom was alive We lived halfway normal But now it's just me and my dad We're less formal I learned to cook pasta I learned to pay rent; Learned the world Doesn't owe you a cent You're planning your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it falls So you better start Building some walls...
Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in the pain Shut your eyes tight Till you vanish from sight Let nothing remain
Freeze your brain Shatter your skull Fight pain with more pain Forget who you are Unburden your load Forget in six weeks You'll be back on the road When the voice in your head Says you're better off dead Don't open a vein
Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...
(spoken) Try it
#heathers#heathers the musical#heathers 1989#jason dean#veronica sawyer#song adaptation#i'm sorry#in italiano#i'm lazy with tags today#sorry for that#non è ufficiale lol non so se hanno mai fatto la traduzione ufficiale o anche la traduzione#i tried to keep as many rhymes as possible#some syllables got fucked up (not in a dead girl walking way but in an “i am damaged” way [tried my best])#this machine runs on coffee adapts “heathers: the musical” songs in italian#freeze your brain#scheduled on the 28/5 for the 3/6 at 7:45AM#So... During the summer I'll be very busy#way busier than during the school year social media speaking#so no more song adaptations because I do them on my computer and I'll be far away from it#You might get one more if I can and it might be of Heathers or not(The Ballad Of Jane Doe is stuck in my head so no promises about anything#nothing might come out so really no promises at all#sorry about that#might also be why I hate the summer compared to the winter#in winter we stay at home#in the summer i travel and i'm glad and know i'm priviledged for this but it's gonna be a busy time and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#plus constant interaction with people#i don't remember how i used to be able to deal with it before the lockdown but now i can't anymore and need my time alone#or i'll become way more annoyed than usual and those things i have similar to sensory issues will get way worse#and i don't have time alone in the summer so i'm fucked#oh well
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[Id. A series of Gintama x Taskmaster pencil sketches 1-2 Kagura, Gintoki and Utsuro holding hands, expecting Shinpachi's (holding Hijikatas's hand) whistle. 3. Kagura holds a donut lifesaver with her mouth while Gintoki is screaming to someone on the audience and Utsuro stands there with a half amused half scared expression. 4. Utsuro is being dragged by the contestants. He looks surprised. 5. Hijikata has his donut lifesaver around his neck waiting for the task to end. 6. Gintoki is pointing at someone on the audience with a celebratory pose. End Id.]
Series 7, episode 6 final task. Starts at 38:26.
#gintama#gintama fanart#my art#sakata gintoki#kagura#shimura shinpachi#hijikata toushirou#utsuro#gintama x taskmaster#beautiful chaotic task a treat to myself 'cause i had a shitty day#again#the description can't (ugh words) really explain the chaos of this task i'm sorry i'm bad at descriptions#if you can watch the video I promise is worthy even if you don't know who these people are#was dying to draw Hijikata on one of those James' shirts#really really happy the taskmaster virus is spreading#(actually the only thing keeping me sane this week)
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Essence of Steel Door
#rgg#yakuza#yakuza kiwami#yakuza kiwami 2#like a dragon#kazuma kiryu#makoto date#video#my uploads#my edits#yk1#yk2#kiryu kazuma#no idea how i feel like ordering their names#god i have so many tags#i have a specific filing system i promise#anyway#if someone has already made this edit i'm very sorry 😭#it almost seems obvious#like the most clear conclusion to make with those two infamous door scenes lmao#but it came to me suddenly while i was angrily driving to work lol#and i had to do it#also big sorry to everyone who followed me for cowboys#i will probably be increasing the yakuza posting before you know it#i've held myself back for several years and i can't keep it in much longer lmao
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~
#not snz#more musings 📝 / mini vent:#not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent#i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings#i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out#over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like#a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to#which is strange??#(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you)#i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend)#i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life#i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track??#:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again#i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D:#i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs#i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take#i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning#like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling#i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other#but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more#there are so many people i refuse to let down
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..
#cw vent#i just wanted to update if anybody was curious#its almost 00:30 where i live#i am officially 16 years old#i was extremely worried about this last night but. i think i'll be okay#i can't stop myself from aging so i'll just have to keep on going whether i like it or not#sorry if i worried anybody#i'm going to try to get better#i promise i am going to try really really hard. i will become better and i will become happy#aaand its 00:30 now as i'm typing this#that was around the time i was born apparently#i was born during the night. does that mean i'm more likely to be a night owl?#i'm actually kind of tired right now though ...#i stayed up really late last night and ended up getting like four hours of sleep last night#i think i might just go to bed after i've finished listening to this album#i'm relistening to the first c sh album :3 its soooo good i love it#i will never not support the numbered albums#i wonder if anybody reads all of this. if you're reading this then#:3 🤝 :3 i am shaking your hand#and i'm glad you are alive
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no better sensation in the whole entire world than reading what you wrote in a haze and finding out that it's actually like. good. like tf who wrote this
#talking tag;#i'm writting the epilogue for totp if anyone's curious!!!! i know it's been a thousand years (six months) but know that this project has#never once left my heart. i love it so dearly and i am this )( close to finishing it. complete and utter madness#also since we're here i'm so sorry to anyone who has commented or sent me asks or dms - know that they light up my day and make me feel#like i'm writting this for someone other than myself which is soooo surreal#i just don't reply because i don't want to make promises i can't keep bc life has been hectic to say the least!!!!#but yeah if anyone wants to know that's how it's going. i am so very close to finishing my 77k word magnum opus of daddy issues fanfiction.#and i can't wait!!!
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STOPP Merlin's worried and slightly panicked "No" when he hurries to say that he doesn’t know any spells after Gaius asks him 😭😭 (first episode, at around 13 minutes in).
(also like 30 second later when he looks SO PLEASED and grateful when Gaius offers him a sandwhich!!! AHHHHHHH).
edit: sorry I'm not done wanting to say something about this. I just think the smile is so sweet. he doesn't take acts of kindness for granted! morgana said he's a lover (and she was right) but he's also a cherisher :,)
#gosh. gosh. GOSH.#I know the second isn't entirely related to the first point but it's also making me feel things#and as per the first point. hfghfgehfg. he's telling the truth but looks so worried he won't be believed!#that this something he truly can’t help#as instinctive as breathing. And he’s so worried that someone would think he’s done it purposefully#(which I mean makes sense in this Camelot but STILL)#sorry I can't be coherent rn. I don't any of this made sense lol#the adventures of merlin rewatch#(if you've noticed it's taking me forever to get through this episode then uhhh no u don't. agfdshgf it's partly bc I stop every 12 seconds#to note something down. I promise I'm keeping most of my notes off this blog despite what it looks like. :')#I'm just occasionally using this space to incoherently scream LOL
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(little void rant post so ignore if it could be potentially triggering or negatively impact your day :3)
perfectly mentally healthy until That One Person messages in a groupchat but not in response to my messages, or messages the groupchat but not responding to my dms (something that is perfectly acceptable to do and I also do at times but also. why. did i do something??? being annoying??? like DAMN I'll stop texting you)
#being on antidepressants is weird#cause on one hand I feel so much happier every single day and it's so nice#but on the other hand you're not responding to me and not I want to rip my skin off just a little bit#a little weird#a little peculiar#I'm fine but also. :) I'm going insane.#of ALLLL people to become like. this level of attached to as well?#like i could have felt like this towards my girlfriend (and im glad i dont cause id fuck shit up SO quickly)#but also you're like my best friend right now i don't want to fuck this up either cause something that i don't understand is wrong with my#brain and I can't handle even the smallest hint of rejection from you#im sorry i promise i still want you around but i dont think you want me around and i keep making it worse#i need to stop existing#AAAAAA#screaming#also this is just a rant into the void.#i am fine.#please ignore#silas yaps
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why is life so hard
#for those who dont know i'm retaking med exams#because i didnt pass them last year#and im just so... sad#because it's never easy#why do all my friends get the life i dreamed of? and i stay here#1) i dont have a job 2) i live with my parents#3) my twin sister has a fianceé and lives in another country for gods sake#can you name a bigger disappointment? my TWIN sister#rock bottom. again.#i promised i wasnt going to let my emotions play such a big part again but#i just cant#it's inhumane#i do everything i can and i'm still dumb and i can't fix this#and it's not even that hard i'm just not good enough for this#sorry i needed to vent urgently#yes it's all i've wanted and all i've dreamed of#so i'll keep trying but wow. it breaks my heart#i studied so hard. for so long. i did everything i could. it's such a hard lesson#sometimes it's not enough#sometimes it doesn't happen because I physically can't push past my intelligence#i'm simply not intelligent for this#i know i'm victimizing myself but wow i wanted it so bad#i spent days dreaming about it and nights studying#and to see friends get positions i wanted just breaks my heart#always watching never participating#yes i've learned when I was 13 i was way less intelligent than my sister but still#this was such a different path from hers and i still couldnt do it#now i have no idea what to do because it's a fortune every year to pay for these exams#and i dont know if theres anything else i could do#sofia rambles
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"did you know that spiders also work for a living? as web designers." sorry to anyone within hearing distance of him at present.
#isola mini#I keep posting jokes when reapping but can't say I'm sorry for it at this point#promise I'll be totally serious with writing this time I'm feeling much better
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ㅤ
#I want to stop being a burden to people I love#I'm so so so so sorry that I can't talk#I just want to love someone and be loved#I want to support someone every step of the way without just being a weight on their mind#Worst thing about being poly is that you can disappoint and be a burden to more than one partner at a time#Ash Eclipse Abby Faye Petra Crow#I love them all so so so so very dearly#So why can't I just be fucking normal and talk to them?#They're all worth loving and I can't be worth loving back#I can't tell if they are loving a lie of me or if they just keep me around for pity#I deserve to be hurt for every time I've hurt one of them but bitch I'm not even worth the dulling of the knife#I want them to read this so they know I'm sorry#But I also just wish I could just hide it all again to make sure I don't make it worse#I don't know what to do#I don't think 3 of them love me anymore and the other 3 are loving a lie#Not to mention the dozens of friends I've let down#Fuck im an awful person#Why can't I just be fucking normal for once in my life?#I'm going to try my best to apologize#But I'm not sure if I can#Im not going to hurt myself don't worry#I promise#tw vent#Vent#If you're reading this#I love you no matter how fucking loud my silence is#I'm sorry
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You ever just like. Have something randomly pop into your head that like causes you to spiral rapidly but then you snap out of it like 30 seconds later. Yeag
#sorry i thought about my great aunt's peach perfume that she let me have when i was like 5 because i loved it so much#and i freaked out because i couldn't remember if i had finally runout of it or not and if i did that would be Bad For Me Mentally Right Now#but i snapped out of it because I'm positive i still have some. i know this i know it#i promised myself when i was little that i would never use the last bit so i could keep it and smell it forever#so i KNOW i still have it somewhere in my box of makeup stuff. maybe I'll have to find that tomorrow#because if i was out of that i. don't know what I'd do about it but i don't think they sell it anymore so I can't just get more#and anyways this bottle specifically is special because it was my great aunt s and there's no replacing that#anyways. i don't know why I'm posting this i am just going through one hell of a night tonight and i guess talking makes me feel less alone#i really should be sleeping now but. idk
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