#I'm so excited guys you have no idea
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Guess who's back next update :)
#I'm so excited guys you have no idea#we're getting into the endgame here fellas and I for one can't wait to watch you all scream and cry#ramblies#acfm
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Oh, Lala...
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#atla azula#princess azula#atla ursa#suki#atla suki#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#Kyoshi Warrior Ursa AU#wip#I felt like sharing a little snippet of a two-page comic I've been working on for AGES#Literally you have no idea for how long this has been sitting on my drafts#Mainly because I keep getting sidetracked by new AUs and sketches and projects. But that's nothing new so#This one is a deep-ish dive into the basic character dynamics between the Fire Siblings as well as Ursa and Suki#Or should I say#Between the siblings Ruolan and Jian Li regarding their mother Noriko and each other.#I know the names can get rather confusing. I'd love to explain the reasoning behind them if anyone would like to know tho#Moving on#There's a lot to unpack in that scene#The characters are different from how we know them due to their circumstances in this AU. But they have things in common with the og series#Of course that remains for you to see#I'm so excited to finish this and share it with you guys!#Some of you have been asking about Azula/Ruolan and Ursa/Noriko in this AU and I am here to deliver#I love the dynamic between this little family SO much it's driving me insane#That being said#What do you get from this panel alone? What do you think it's happening?#I'd love to hear your thoughts on this
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I've had this pose ref saved for a while and the Superman set photos just gave off the same energy 👉🏻👈🏻
The reference is this photo of Katharine Hepburn as Antiope and Colin Keith-Johnston as Theseus in the 1932 play 'The Warrior's Husband' (and I'd love for people to turn into a draw your otp meme pls pls pls this pose is so good)
And also, of course, the Superman (2025) set photos
#superfamilyweek#superman#dcu#clois#lois lane#clark kent#i was actually gonna post this a few days ago but then i found out about the superfamily week#it wasn't made for it but i hope you can accept this humble offering even if it doesn't really fit the prompts#art#digital#fanart#live-action#dc#regular#final#colour#this actually from june when the set photos came out and i just got completely obsessed and went into a clois haze#it all looks so good though!! the whole thing!!!! i'm vibrating with excitement just thinking about it!!!!!!!#if this film isn't good i'm gonna be sooo disappointed you guys have no idea how much i'm looking forward to it#but anyway. ART RAMBLES: as i mentioned on the tags of my last drawing this piece gave me SUCH a headache#i think it's probably cos it was just supposed to be a quick sketch so i used a more stable pencil brush#but then i really liked it so i decided to properly colour it instead of just doing the watercolour thing i usually do for sketches#but with finished pieces i like the lineart to be kinda messy and the sketch to even show through bit#and since i used the more stable brush for the sketch it ended up looking WAY too clean. not like my stuff at all.#so i just started throwing stuff at the wall to see what could make it more interesting. full background! actual lineart! texture layers!#and this here is what i was the happiest with. i don't... love it though. it should be looking way more interesting given the pose#and then i also did the purge girl halfway through this and it looked SO good right out of the bat (pun intended)#so i went a bit into a spiral. did some realistic stuff i'll post soon. and now am trying out a thick black lineart style.#(i'll definitely still use the coloured lines for the sketchy watercolour stuff though. it just looks way too cute)
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Sun and Moon teasers for the new AU I've been working on called Dark Matter (alien DCA). I've been having a blast developing their species so far, from their culture to their language and the first chapter is almost done too! I'm super excited to share all of it but I need to finish a full illustration with them first to go with the first chapter ^-^
And unlike my other AUs, this one has a clear beginning, middle and ending already plotted out, so writing it will be easier for me :D
Also I really hate shading metal lmao
#Fnaf Sun#Fnaf Moon#Fnaf DCA#DCA AU#Daycare Attendant#Dark Matter#DM Sun#DM Moon#Rhonu draws#Rhonu blogs Fnaf#I'm so excited for this AU you guys you have no idea
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Blank Scripts AU OCs / Self Insert participants!!
Hey guys!! Just giving you a quick update that I'm still working on it! :3
I know some people are still waiting for their characters to be drawn and this is just an announcement to tell you guys that I'm still actively working on them! But I'm also working on other things [both IRL and my own projects] so progress is really slow uwaah 〒▽〒
Expect the illustrations to come out slowly! Please be patient with me!! 🙏 [Expected time for another illustration to come out is 1 month for each finished drawing.]
I've also been working on an animation too. Achromatic Loop AU viewers where you at?
↓ [LIST OF USERS I MADE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT FOR!!] ↓
@ask-the-gold-bear / @reader-writer-combo / @iyuray / @thenamesmobu / @test-url-please-ignore / @adventurecrimez / @tumbling-turmoil / @idunnowhattowriteheretbh / @commit-behicular-manslaughter / @felonius-glitch / @toon-topaz / @villiun / @thechaotichorselord / @altyem / @stylus427 / @employee052 / @how-is-this-taken / @juaneloriginal / @limelemonleaf / @wingedecho / @nineparlor69
I haven't forgotten about you guys <3 don't worry!!
#tsp blank scripts au#anyway ARGH I'm so upset that I can't just sit down and draw them in one sitting#I don't have anything bad going on IRL btw. I've just been taking care of myself some more and improving my bad sleep and resting schedule#you know just actually participating in life again instead of rushing myself to make one fully rendered drawing after another#so yeah it's been pretty chill lately :3#I've been having a lot of exciting ideas lately and I'm actually actively working on a new animation right now#AHH I'm genuinely excited to show you guys when it's finished#tsp au#tsp self insert#tsp oc#blank scripts self insert#blank scripts oc#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp#tspud#kat talks
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ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ❤️ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Synth Sonadow ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ💙ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
This is an entry for my own redraw challenge lol
Color palette used
Thank you to everyone who has redrawn my silly little picture! It has seriously made my winter break so fun and I can not get over everyone's charming interpretations!
#FIRST DRAWING OF 2025!#no clue where the synth vibes came from#it just sorta happened lol#I hope this looks decent this is my first time drawing Sonic characters#guys you have no idea how many drawing ideas I have now that I've gotten into Sonic#I feel so rejuvenated and refreshed like I'm so excited to draw again ahh!!#but for now I shall go play Shadow Generations because this took a while to make and I miss playing games lol#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic movie universe#sonic movie 3#sonadow#shadonic#mango’s art#Spotify
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CapIron Big Bang 2024
Read A Hundred Visions and Revisions! (+2 illustrations below)
Ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Rating: M Summary: In the age of Galilei's discoveries, Tony is fascinated by the prospect of a larger universe. Steve is one of the conservatives trying to keep the old world view alive. Their new favorite subject is dragging each other's opinions through the mud in their poems, and Tony is more than happy to feed into this feud. Because he hates Rogers. Hates his poetry, his sharp wit, his handsome smile, his – Oh, wait.
(Also sorry I deleted the previous post and reposted and still can't get the ao3 reformat to work)
I worked with @kandisheek on the cap iron big bang 2024 and we are delighted to bring you the finished work! If you like astronomy, historical fics, poetry, and romance, please give this one a read. Thank you so much!
#my art#stony#steve rogers#tony stark#stevetony#superhusbands#avengers au#historical au#kandisheek fic#guys i'm so excited to bring you this#you have no idea#please read!!!#i guess this is also a fic rec
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#i'm so excited for this comm you have no idea i'm about to burst ahhhhhhhh!#ohhhh hoooo#it's so over guys#when i post it#it's over#naff nuh huh
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Since this update is taking longer to get out, have a mini preview Wo(a)nderfully out of context~
Marking this as spoiler just in case people wanna stay in the dark!
Also this is the longest update I've done to date, let alone the biggest thing I've ever drawn?
CW eyestrain!
We are currently... 5/18 panels done.
Also gonna put a couple things under cut that just... blow my mind a lil on the actual drawing side of things laksjf
The purple is the size of the previous update (pt 27) in comparison to this current update
I even got an error message I've never seen before in my life when saving as png
So yeeahhh. It's exactly 30k pixels long.
It even crashed/lagged out one of my friends' phones when viewing the entire picture WHEEZE
#wanderer au#wanderer preview#WandererSpoilers#bear with me guys lskjf#I'm so excited to show this update to you all you have no idea#this page has been cooking since LAST APRIL#eyestrain#cw bright colors#cw eyestrain
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I HAVE RETURNED!!! 💃🎉✨
#Hey guyyyys 😭#I'm finally back!!#How have y'all been??? 😁#Man... I've been logged in for five minutes and can already tell I've missed so much RIP ☠️#I feel like I've been gone for 300 years or so#I have admittedly no idea how I'm gonna catch up 🙇♀️😅#Guess I'll have to go little by little!#This may take a little while 🥲#I'll do my best to answer messages and see what you've all been up to! 🤗#But just so you guys know; I'm very excited to be back once more 😎💗#I've missed you all! ☺️#💖💖💖
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Teach you a lesson (Angel arc part 1)
(Try Not To) Kill All Your Friends masterpost - Next: Part 2
Contains: kidnapping, captivity, torture, broken bones, restraints, forced to watch
The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. If Ryker and his men didn’t come soon, Vale was going to kill all of them. They shouldn’t have even let this happen—they were professionals, for God’s sake. Vale couldn’t fathom how he and Phantom had been captured in the first place.
“Are you making any progress?” Vale asked, for what felt like the umpteenth time. He hated to repeat himself, but Phantom hadn’t updated him in a while.
Phantom made a face, staring up at the ceiling as he focused on the ropes restraining his hands. “Um, sort of,” he said. Vale sighed, and Phantom muttered, defensively, “Let’s see you untie knots with your mind.”
“Phantom.” Vale could really do without the attitude at the moment. It was bad enough that he’d been kidnapped, sitting on the floor of some concrete cell God knows where, but it was even worse that he had to rely on Phantom to get them out. The boy was talented, certainly, but Vale preferred not to put his skills to the test when both of their lives were potentially at risk. “Why don’t you untie me first?”
“Because I’m halfway done with mine already,” he retorted, hands shifting behind his back.
“Well, hurry up,” Vale snapped. Phantom fell silent, getting that teenagery, exasperated look on his face that said, Yeah, yeah, I’m on it already. Vale took a deep breath, flexing his wrists, already feeling the ache in his muscles. “I’m impressed,” he admitted, “that you’ve managed to stay calm during this.”
Phantom’s eyebrows flicked up, and he shrugged. “Well, this isn’t my first kidnapping.” He frowned, eyes roaming the ceiling as he thought. “Actually, it might be the … fourth?”
Vale frowned back at him. “Fourth?”
“Yeah, there was Amoret, and then … you,” he said, “and then that time with Oliveri, and now this. That makes four.”
“Ah.”
After a minute, Phantom spoke again. “Did you forget that you kidnapped me?”
The boy had always had a smart mouth; the question shouldn’t have surprised Vale. He sighed impatiently. “Phantom, this is hardly the time.”
“I’m just wondering,” Phantom said, “because how else would you lose track of something like—” He cut himself off, head swiveling toward the door. “Someone’s coming.”
Vale struggled to his feet and moved away from the door, watching it warily. Phantom joined him. Vale hoped whoever came in wouldn’t check the restraints.
The door opened, and a woman stepped through. She was wearing fitted combat fatigues with platform boots, her hair in loose curls around her shoulders, and her makeup was just slightly too gaudy to be tasteful. A handful of others spilled into the room after her, but they were all dressed in the same sort of plain black attire that Vale’s own men wore, which indicated that they were lackeys, not the ones in command.
The woman’s pink lips split into a slow grin as her eyes roved over Vale and Phantom. “Well, well, look at this,” she said. “The great Axton Vale, finally brought down low. How does it feel, hmm? I just want to get a baseline before I drag you down lower.”
Vale schooled his expression into one of annoyance and disdain, which wasn’t far from how he was actually feeling. “Who are you, and what do you want?” he asked flatly.
The woman cocked her head, resting a manicured fingernail on her chin. “You don’t remember me? Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. It was the worst day of my life, but for you—I’m sure that was just an average Tuesday for you, wasn’t it?”
Vale tried again. “Who are you working for?”
Her laugh was so high-pitched it would’ve made a dog whimper. “Oh, that’s rich,” she said, a broad grin spread across her face. “My name’s Danielle Angel, and I happen to be the one in charge here, honey.”
Oh, just perfect. Vale had not only been kidnapped, but kidnapped by some kind of living Barbie doll. He took a measured breath. “And what is it that you want with me?”
Her unnervingly white smile never wavered. “Weren’t you paying attention? I want to kick you off your high horse, Axton.”
He felt a twinge of irritation at the disrespect, but he managed not to show it. “Really?” he asked indignantly.
“Oh, absolutely,” said Angel. “And I think I’m going to start with …” She pointed a shiny pink nail to Vale’s right. “You!”
Phantom bristled, taking a step back, which put him right up against the wall. “I don’t think that’s—” Before he could finish, two of Angel’s men marched forward and grabbed him. The last man pulled Vale back by his shoulders.
Vale stumbled, struggling to keep his footing as he was dragged away from Phantom. “Leave him alone,” he said, keeping his voice steady.
“Sorry, Axton,” said Angel, “but you’re not the boss around here—you don’t get to make demands. Now, if you asked me nicely, I might consider leaving him alone, but otherwise …” She snapped her fingers, and one of her men drove his fist into Phantom’s stomach.
Phantom doubled over, wheezing. Vale surged forward, only for the henchman to yank him back, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his tied wrists. It shouldn’t have been enough to keep him restrained, but he just couldn’t get any damn leverage. “I said, leave him alone,” Vale snapped. The henchmen were twice Phantom’s size. With his hands tied like that, he didn’t stand a chance.
“You’re not a very good listener, are you, Axton?” Angel stood back with her hands clasped in front of her, watching her men rain punches down on Phantom. Vale set his jaw and watched.
Phantom put up a good fight, all things considered; Vale was proud of him for that. Each time he went down, he got back up, trying to ram the men with his shoulders. He tried to use his powers on them; that became clear when one of the men winced in pain, grabbing at his leg. Then the man struck Phantom across the head, dazing him. There was only so much Phantom could do with his powers when he couldn’t focus, and each injury was just another distraction.
Finally, Phantom collapsed on his knees, blood dripping from his nose. Vale watched him intently. Get up. Don’t just quit. Get back up. Phantom began to rise, but one of the men shoved him down by the shoulder, and he winced as his knees hit the floor. Angel laughed, flicking her gaze over to Vale. “He’s a fighter, isn’t he?” Then she sighed and tilted her head at her men. “I can’t help but feel, though, like you guys are going too easy on him.” Phantom’s shoulders stiffened. His eyes were glassy with barely-restrained tears. A single one traced down his cheek. “I think you should break his arm,” Angel said.
“No.” The word slipped out unbidden, barely a whisper. Vale pressed his lips shut.
It was too late. Angel’s head swiveled toward him, her ridiculous hair bouncing. “What was that, Axton?” she asked sweetly. He glared at her, refusing to give her the satisfaction. It didn’t matter; regardless, she wasn’t going to stop.
She watched Vale for a moment, then shrugged, turning her attention back to her men. “Well, go on, then,” she said, motioning them into action. “You can even untie his hands; won’t that be nice?”
The men yanked Phantom to his feet, and one of them pulled out a switchblade to saw away his restraints. Phantom winced as the ropes fell and blood trickled down his wrist. His face went white as two large hands gripped his forearm. “Please, don’t,” he breathed. His gaze flickered over to Vale, and then landed on Angel. “You’re—you’re trying to get at him, right? He doesn’t care. I promise, he—”
Angel sauntered forward and grabbed Phantom by the chin, her long nails digging into his jaw. She locked eyes with Vale. “That’s an interesting theory,” she said. “Let’s put it to the test, hmm?”
Vale wasn’t going to react. All Angel wanted was a reaction. She stepped back and signaled to her men. Phantom’s arm cracked down over the henchman’s knee.
“Stop!” Vale lurched forward, but a pair of hands held him back, fingers digging into his shoulders. Phantom’s knees buckled, and the henchmen held him up, one pair of hands under his armpits and the other still on his arm, hanging at an unnatural angle. The hand on his forearm squeezed. Phantom let out a choked noise that barely sounded human. “Stop, please!”
The room went quiet. Slowly, Angel turned to Vale, her face lit with a predatory grin. “Oh, that was delicious.” She stalked over to him, snapping her fingers, and Vale stumbled as the henchman released him. When he righted himself, he found Angel standing too close for comfort. He tilted his chin to look her in the eye. “All I wanted was for you to ask nicely,” she said, pouting. “Can you do that for me, sweetie?”
Vale clenched his jaw. For a moment, the room was quiet. The silence was broken by a single, strangled sob. Vale’s hands curled into fists. “Please, stop.”
“Oh, come on.” Angel’s finger traced down his jaw. His muscles rippled with involuntary repulsion. “You can do better than that. Get on your knees.”
Vale swallowed. From behind Angel, he heard a flinching sort of noise, anticipating pain. Slowly, Vale sank down.
As he looked up at Angel, he imagined himself plunging a knife into her chest, slitting her throat, carving that smug grin off her face. But the thoughts didn’t change his reality. She gently tilted his chin up. “Now ask nicely,” she whispered.
“Please. Stop hurting him.”
For a long moment, Angel gazed down at him, drinking in the sight. This wasn’t going to help. She wasn’t going to stop.
Then, suddenly, she ruffled Vale’s hair and straightened up. “Was that so hard?” She snapped her fingers, and her men stepped away from Phantom. “I think that’s enough for now. Let’s leave them alone for a little while.” Vale stared, open-mouthed, as Angel sashayed out of the room with her men, locking the door behind her.
-
“I can try to untie you, if you want.”
It was the first time Phantom had spoken in hours. Vale looked up to see him slumped against the wall on the other side of the cell, right where he’d collapsed when Angel left. There were bruises on his face, a crust of blood beneath his nose, and his arm was arranged carefully in his lap. “Your arm is broken,” Vale said, feeling as though it was a redundant observation.
Phantom shrugged one shoulder, his face expressionless. His cheeks were tacky with dried tears. “My other arm isn’t.”
Vale wasn’t sure it would stay that way if Angel found out about this, but his hands had gone numb a while ago, and he suspected they would both be better off if Vale had his hands free. He crossed the cell and sat with his back to Phantom. He exhaled slowly as the boy started tugging at the ropes.
They didn’t need to talk. Vale had always preferred silence. But for some reason the quiet was poking at him now, like an errant feather out of a down pillow. “I could have ended it sooner.”
Phantom’s fingers went still. “What?”
“All she wanted was …” Vale took a deep breath, forcing away the memory of his knees hitting the ground, of her nails under his chin. “I could have given it to her. I just …” Didn’t think it would help. Didn’t want to give in. Thought that you could handle it.
This was exactly the type of situation Phantom had been trained for. He’d been through the same interrogation and captivity trainings that all of Vale’s men went through. This wasn’t even the worst he’d been injured in recent memory; he had collected more than his fair share of scars. But this was the first time that Vale might have prevented it. There was no reason he should have wanted to, given Phantom’s role. Some people had taken to calling him Vale’s guard dog. Vale thought it was a crass moniker, but he had to admit it was fitting. A guard dog did the protecting; it didn’t need to be protected.
“Is this your way of apologizing?”
Vale bit back the instinct to chide Phantom’s tone. “I suppose so,” he said slowly.
Phantom silently picked at the knot. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “It was a power play. You couldn’t have known she’d actually stop.”
Vale’s shoulders relaxed as much as the restraints allowed. “That was my thought, yes.”
Phantom paused. After a long time, he spoke in a quiet voice. “Now that you know, though …” He left the sentence unfinished.
“We’re going to get out of here before that happens again.”
“Right.”
There was a world of uncertainty in that single word. Vale decided that silence was best.
-
Title credits: Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy
Tag list: @toyybox
#original writing#wip#fiction#whump#whump writing#torture tw#forced to watch#kidnapping tw#captivity tw#broken bones tw#original fiction#oc: the phantom prince#oc: axton vale#oc: danielle angel#(try not to) kill all your friends#IT'S HEEEEERE!!#guys i'm so excited to post this you have no idea
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Time for a new toy!
Seems like skateboard is the clear winner! (Doing it a little early this week since I didnt mean to leave it so late last time, hopefully there isn't suddenly hundreds of votes for something else after I post this lol) Tomorrow there will be a skateboard in the garden :D
So now it's time to decide for next week,
("Nothing" is an option that will still yield a cat, it's not just there like a trick lol)
#UTDR#UTMV#Neko Sansume#Got the special guy all tested out and ready to go in the morning ^^#I think like last week I'll reblog this post once he's live and then maybe again later in the day so nobody misses it#I hope you guys like the specialness of this one :D#I also have an idea for like. an event?#Event isn't really the right word but a special thing for this#You'll know it when you see the poll options :3c#But in the meantime I might need to have less options in the poll as I build up towards it#We'll see how it goes#I wanna make sure all the cats get to show up at least once so I need to plan it out#But I'm excited to see who gets picked for next week!! :D
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.
#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Big baby Rosie is no longer the babiest baby in the house! She is in fact a big sister!
#Still figuring out the name! You guys have some fabulous ideas!! 😍#She is such a curious and cuddly little girl#She and rosie are going to be so funny together I'm so excited to watch her grow
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uncle neen!!! welcome back omg i was so sad to see u disappear </3 hyh !!! i had a question i asked last time but i was wondering since ur rewriting ur fics, are u planning on posting them on tumblr? or on ao3? pls be kind to urself too<33
good MORNING, lovie!!!!~ <3 c':
( or whatever time it is, where you are at the moment! )
i'm very excited to announce that you are my very FIRST new ask message on my brand new blog!
( teri is my first follower; ly ter. <33 o//3//o )
***long overdue UN ramble-bramble under the cut. xx
i /do/ miss my six hundred bajillion ask memes and am mourning the loss of all my online creations and great joys as a deranged southpark fanfiction author and the legacy i built with my tiny, gay weird hands
( i will go into it another time, but i had a very, very frightening bipolar episode surrounding my blog and my role on here as a writer, friend and mentor to you all, deleted all my things in a horrible panic, was able to recover them...but in the -- what i hope is the *very last* -- after shock of my episode...i got very scared, very sad and deleted both my dearly treasured and beloved, beautifully cult followed by many of you and other ghosts of sp style fanatics past ao3 account**
**( with peppermint on it at 13k likes which...oh my god, please be gentle with me, that was a very, very hard blow and rough realization for me and i am sorry to everyone who loved that fanfiction and wanted to go back and read it for posperity and personal comfort...i miss her too; rest in peace, pep, my first born. my sweet girl. </3 )
...and most tragically of all, i deleted my tumblr blog, with over one hundred pages of carefully curated content surrounding my sp aus, your lovely, insightful and thoughtful questions and inquiries, also typed with your tiny, weird gay hands answered, in turn, with mine, torched the ev. of those memories in the final blast and lost my window into your world through that medium...
...which is literally heartbreaking to me, because more than even my silly fanfictions or my blog, what i loved to do, was talk to all of you and read your wonderful messages each day and remind myself of why i should be here and continue to do what i do. </333 :'''c
BUT! my darlings, as ravenstan would say, 'it's always darkest before crimson dawn', for the very first time in several weeks ( which, i fear, and i was, full of fear and horrible self loathing/dread every waking and nightmarish moment ), last night, i cried for a very, very, very, long time, held myself together in the broken places -- told myself and the girl i was that i loved her and i was going to take care of us and be brave -- and broke the fever ( a little off key like jersey kyle, but very lovely nonetheless; love you tone deaf king. x my sboyf. )
today, i woke up this morning and slept...PEACEFULLY and woke up PERFECTLY HAPPY AND RESTED...
AND SMILED. QUITE. WIDE!!!!~ :D
and that is a baby step, but it is a step in the right direction and also almost wanted to make me weep like a baby again because i literally have not felt happy or like i do not hate myself for like, i shit you not, over like 15-20 days...it was frightening and fucking horrible! SLAY!
nevertheless ( or the most, finally ) i am excited to welcome in a new era/year of change on my blog and within myself; which is an era of peppermint flavored 'hope i'm healing' in a delicious rem(ember) font.
unfortunately, because i nuked my ao3 account, i do not currently one atm, but am in the process of recovering it.
( i'm not condoning any kind of rude/uncivilized behavior bc people are allowed to do anything they want -- but i'd really like to get my user back and would appreciate it a lot if no one used it to create another ao3 account just because it would be confusing for my readers and disheartening to me to not be boxwinebaddie anymore. )
until then, i will be writing/drafting rem(ember) in my messy google docs, am storyboarding everything to the best of my ability ( which is not perfect, but nothing is -- except stan and kyle to each other -- but god loves a trier, which is why he hates me: i prefer hell where it's drier -- that way my girlfail guylinea will not run. xx )
KALE SEITAN! ;)
posting little snippets of it on here for all of you, probably put it here on my tumblr and post it up to ao3 if i can regain my account/one in general ( i am a little worried that because of how long it's been, the loss of all my followers and, what i assume, is a decreased public or tiktok generated interest in sp, it will do poorly; rip </3 )
-- but the point is...that i want to start doing stuff for myself now. and not because i think i should or create unnecessary stress/sadness surrounding my strength or weakness as a writer or person ( or like, beat the living shit out of myself every single day anymore )...
...so i am writing it slowly, carefully, synthesizing all the info i gathered from over a year of answering your questions ( which helped me develop my sp au styles and their worlds into the lovely, seemingly breathing paper machslayed things they are now ), am going to write the fanfiction i always/wanted/ to write ( i’ve always wanted to rewrite RM, but was so busy and overwhelmed with my blog/my irl stuff that i couldn't )
and i'm calling it...
<3
p.s. ( i love you ): i am going to give my grandmother a copy of the first chapter of peppermint for christmas because i wanted to do something special/sentimental for her and secretly push the gay middle school style agenda ( she is actually very woke and thought my uncle might be gay for a while when he was younger, haha xx ), but i want to give them different names, so that on the off chance it gets passed off to my mom, my dad or manages to travel by world of mouth ( my grandma has a tendency to gab, but i love her a lot ) that it can't specifically be traced back to my dead ao3 or my blog.
so if any one has any ideas for silly interesting names i could give my sons, names for other characters or south park in gen. hit me up! <33
thank you for your interest in my work -- and in me, in general. i love you all dearly, i hope you heal ( i know you will ) and smile, pendejos because got a lot coming up on that crimson dawn and a lot of crazy shit coming down on that *jersey i won't say i'm in luh megara vc*
~SCHARLET sLUt~
cheers! mazel! ;) xx
-uncle nina, in her healing era <3
#hello my friends#it's really good to hear from you again#specifically whatever friend sent this message in! thank you my darling! i am sorry for the fright#but i am VERY EXCITED to start writing again#slowly but surely; baby steps#i want to fill in the tags more but even tho i did sleep very peacefully last late nite bit i am running on almost NO sleep#and not to be baby asf i cried a LOOOOOT last night and this past week/past weeks ( i have no conception of time )#its my slayolay cursed ravenstamulet demonic kennygal curse#and my eyes hurt A LOT so i will leave it at this! i hope you guys are as excited for it as i am and tbh i am actually thinking#that nuking my blog and starting over was a good idea bc i was a little too overwhelmed and i am excited for the fresh start#and now i can write my fanfiction with all the new information i gathered and was able to process and plot out using your#messages and questions! which makes i can now craft the most updated slightly unplugged better longer and uncut vers#of my fanfiction yet! ( i might consider rewriting pep after if i have the strength of will and the time to kill -- i am also going to#start going to regular 4 day a week multi hour outpaitent therapy and my medications were just upped and seem to be#...beginning to work? me thinks? YAY???!!!! <333 either way i am going to take things slow and do what makes me happy#i want to post snippets on here when i can and it is almost my birthday! t-minus two days! wooo! and my final thought is#if you rem(ember) anyone or have a pal you know was interested in my stuff/wants to refind me/tell em i'm not dead#you can direct them to this blog and this post ( all i ask is that no one make a large post or large deal about it because i am#very skittish and all that attention is WHY i had that bipolar episode among other irl things so i hope you heal i love you#smile pendejo and its good to be back ( even if its with one foot in the void and the other in a hellokitty roller blade ) xx
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Not me making an outline for a fic, knowing it's going to be a fairly long one, and expecting 2,000-3,000 words tops (maybe 4,000 if I'm being detailed. 5,000 if I'm being SUPER detailed)
ONLY TO BE AT 7,000 WORDS AND STILL GOING
This is only supposed to be the outline. Not even the rough draft. I'm just putting down the most basic series of events the stories is going to follow, and I'm still hashing this thing out at 7,000 words. I haven't even reached the middle yet.
Fuck me and my natural inclination towards long and complex plots.
But goddamn am I having fun with this.
One day I'm going to figure out how to write sweet and simple one-shots. I'm going to figure out how to make a short story.
But until then, enjoy my gigantic, monstrosity of fanworks. If you have commitment issues, unfollow me now, cuz all of my shit is long-term.
#this wasn't supposed to get so long#but I say that about all my fics#that's how Just Kiss Already started#it was supposed to be ONE one-shot#but then it grew#and grew#and continues to grow#you guys have no IDEA what kind of shit I have planned for this series#I am going to tear these characters apart mentally emotionally and physically#and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me#and I'm out here doing it again#someone tell me to stop#I too am a slave under capitalism#if I got paid writing my complex fanfictions this wouldn't be a problem#but capitalism deems that I do not have time for all the fic writing I want to do#and yet im going to write more long fic anyway#im so serious about the comittment issues thing#if you're ride or die this is going to be a long term relationship#we're all in motherfuckers#the carts are moving and there is no getting off this ride#damn im so excited for this new wip im working on#you guys have no idea
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