#I'm really missing a coping mechanism that was really useful to me

[night-dragon937]

oh how i miss writing shamelessly thinly veiled vent fics wrapped in hurt/no comfort character studies

however it's been over two years since we've written fanfic (over two years since we've written AT ALL) and we've become acutely critical of anything we write so i don't think that ball is going to start rolling anything soon :P

[pathologicalreid]

could we get Spencer Reid with a hypersexual reader that uses sex as a bad coping mechanism? 💕💕

don't look in the mirror | S.R.

seeking comfort in those you hold close, except there's a right way and a wrong way to do it

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst (i think?) w/ mature themes (18+ mdni) content warnings: seeking comfort in sex, avoidance, mental health issues, spencer has those info dumps on lock, shame, self deprecation, reader hates her job (me too), blood as a metaphor, crying word count: 1.85k a/n: this is such an important topic and i'm so thankful for you asking me to write this!!!! i know this is a premise i've seen before, so i tried to make mine different. (im actually really proud of how this one turned out)

“Baby,” Spencer whispered in your ear, turning his head to the side as you left small, slow kisses on the exposed skin of his neck.

You hummed but refused to detach your lips from his soft skin, tugging gently at his shirt so that you could make your way down to his collarbone. He smelled like sunshine and the jet, an admittedly odd combo that did nothing to stop your movements down the column of his throat. His neck vibrated with sound, but none of his words registered, it all went in one ear and out the other.

His hand gently settled on the small of your back and you took a deep breath before you began pulling at the knot of his tie, “Y/N,” he muttered in a warning.

Your head snapped up at his tone, disappointed that you didn’t find the same want in his eyes that you knew was blazing in your own irises. Synapses in your brain were firing at lightning speed, and your heart was beating so quickly that it was like it was trying to keep up. “I missed you,” you whispered to him, allowing your eyes to flitter across his face.

Spencer settled his hands on your hips, firmly grabbing them in exactly the way you wanted, but instead of pulling you closer to him, he stilled their rotation.

Your heart stuttered.

“What happened?” He asked you tentatively, using the pads of his thumbs to rub soothing circles on your hips, trying to keep you from moving while giving you comfort. Despite the way you were sitting in his lap, Spencer still felt worlds away from you – if he was on Earth, you were in a different galaxy. 

Hesitantly, your lips parted, and you took a deep breath before shutting your mouth again, deciding you had nothing to say. While he’d been away, nothing significant had happened, everything in your life had trudged on exactly the way it always did. You went to work at the same job you’ve had since you got out of college with a boss who most certainly had it out for you, and you came home to an empty apartment with your phone volume all the way up, waiting for your boyfriend to call you. You really were pathetic, but you didn’t voice those concerns, instead, you answered, “Nothing happened,” the half-truth easily slid from your mouth. “Can’t I just have missed my boyfriend and want to spend quality time with him?”

Spencer hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head back as his hair moved with him, “Stop, Y/N,” he said.

Without even realizing it, your hands had drifted down to his chest, and your hands were absentmindedly fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, “I didn’t…” you started to say, but your words faltered when you noticed the way he was looking at you. You looked over your shoulder, making sure that the rest of the world was still there as you tried to climb off of Spencer’s lap. “Let me go,” you insisted, hating how small your voice sounded as you pushed against him to no avail.

“I can’t let you go, not right now,” he told you, steadying his resolve as he watched you. You were staring at your hands like they were covered in blood, red-covered palms as you watched, horrified at the idea of them developing a mind of their own. It wasn’t as if your hands had suddenly become sentient entities, your heart and your brain were working against each other, fighting a silent, internal war. “Pick a spot for your hands, and just leave them there,” he whispered to you.

Your hands tremored as you settled them on either one of Spencer’s shoulders, “You don’t find me attractive anymore,” you mumbled, struggling to find the strength to enunciate your thoughts.

Spencer sighed, “Why don’t we take a minute, okay?” Delicately, he moved one hand from its station on your hip and moved it to cup your cheek, holding your face as if it were made of fine china. “What happened while I was gone, honey?”

His hand was wet on your face, or rather, your face was wet from tears that had started to trickle from your tear ducts. You furrowed your brows in frustration, “Why do you assume that something happened? Nothing happened while you were gone, why can’t you just let that be the answer?”

“Because it’s not the answer,” he insisted, dropping his hand back to your hip, continuing to stop you from getting up and moving away from him.

You scoffed, “Is it not the answer, or is it just not the answer you’re looking for, Spencer?”

“It’s not the answer, and I’m looking for the answer. You can tell me anything,” he urged, resuming his soothing movements over your hip.

As you watched his expression morph into a slight panic, you realized he was beginning to think something happened to you. With what he did for work, it was always in the back of his mind, you being in danger of being hurt by other people but what he rarely considered was the idea of you being a danger to yourself. “Nothing happened, okay? Absolutely nothing happened to me while you were gone and everything in the world stayed exactly the fucking same. I went to work every day and I came home and sat around while I waited for you to call, I waited for you to come home and now you won’t even touch me.”

Your tears kept coming, leaving saline stains on his gray shirt as your head spun and his movements stopped. “Work was bad?” He asked softly, using his fingertips to wipe beneath your eyes. He knew about your issues at work, he had been encouraging you to leave the job for months, but you were convinced that a promotion was coming. “You shouldn't have to be miserable every time you go to work.”

“Not everyone gets to be hand-picked for a top job at twenty-one. Some people have to work shitty jobs to make ends meet,” you snapped at him, nostrils flaring angrily.

He didn’t answer right away, you became hyperaware of the pounding of your heart as you waited for his response. As you waited for him to kick you out. “I told you that I’d support you if you wanted to go back to school. I meant it, Y/N,” he told you, brown eyes flooded with concern. “You can leave your job and pursue your dream, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, baby.” Spencer leaned back against the couch cushions, “I can’t help you until you help yourself, love.”

Slouching your shoulders, you felt your eyes starting to line with tears again, “It feels so unfair to have you shoulder more responsibility so that I can go back to school.”

“No,” he said, “What’s not fair is you lying to me and then trying to avoid it with sex. I asked you how your week had been, and you either didn’t care to answer me or you have such bad tunnel vision that you didn’t even hear me.” He gently chided, giving you time to drown in the blatant concern in his eyes, “and what’s worse is you never told me it was this bad.”

You averted your eyes, focusing your gaze on the chessboard behind him as you thought about your next move. In one fell swoop, he could checkmate you, completely catch you off guard, and tell you everything that you didn’t want to hear. Alternatively, you could sacrifice yourself for his benefit, “I hate my job. My boss is making it impossible for me to make any positive stride, and that’s on top of him being a misogynistic douche.” You flexed your hands where they remained on Spencer’s shoulders and sighed, “And yes, I miss you when you’re gone. Yes, I lied to you about it, but what would you do about it? Leave your big important job because your girlfriend is lonely?”

He craned his head to the side, silently encouraging you to make eye contact with him, “I’d hope that you’d feel comfortable enough to tell me how you’re feeling so that we could work something out – we can talk through this. It’s a two-way street though, you have to talk to me. I can make an effort to call and text more if you promise me, you’ll make an effort to communicate with me.”

Slowly, you started to nod, “I… I can do that, but you hate texting,” you reminded him, raising your eyebrows curiously.

“I’ll get over it,” he reassured you, studying your features, “You’re worth it,” he added.

Finally, you pulled your arms back, hugging them around yourself protectively, “I’m sorry,” you murmured, “I don’t know why I am… the way that I am.”

Spencer took a deep breath before giving you a look that told you he had an inkling, “You’re unhappy, with me or the world, it doesn’t matter, but you think the solution to your displeasure comes in the form of an orgasm and that’s just not the answer, honey.”

You hiccupped and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself like you could make yourself smaller, “I still don’t know why though.”

“You’re seeking the rush, not necessarily the act of sex itself, you want the dopamine and oxytocin rush that comes with an orgasm. Your brain convinces yourself that it’s what you need because when you get unhappy like this, all you can focus on is how to feel better and fast,” he spoke to you gently – he knew this wasn’t what you wanted to hear, but it was what you needed to hear. “It’s brief, and it’s just for that moment, and your brain might even recall how your parasympathetic nervous system shuts down after you come, and your body gets tired. You get a rush of serotonin, and you relax enough to convince yourself that it'll be okay, but you need to find something more permanent. I’ll help you.”

Your arms fell limply at your sides, “Do you think I’m broken?”

The small smile he gave you was enough of an answer, “No, in fact, I know you’re not broken.” Tenderly, he reached out and unwound your arms from around your torso, “And since I know you won’t stop thinking about it, I do still find you attractive.” Spencer studied your face, “Where do you want to start?”

“Do you want to help me draft a letter of resignation?” You offered, giving Spencer a shy smile.

He hummed in response, “Yeah, in a bit.” Your boyfriend reached his hands out to you, now being the one who pulled you close, “Come here, darling.”

You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder and sighing as he wrapped his arms around your torso, “I missed you,” you mumbled, entirely deflating your lungs as you let yourself relax.

Spencer reached up, ruffling your hair with one hand and keeping another on the small of your back as he sighed with you, “I missed you too.”

[local-lamppost]

Act 3 Thoughts

Watched Wicked, came home, waited 20 minutes, binged Act 3. I do not recommend this lifestyle. Anyway...

I was so satisfied with where we ended up, but I would have also appreciated about 20 minutes to an hour more. It felt like some beats were skipped over, they wanted to get to specific endings and didn't have the time to wrap them up as neatly as I would've liked.

Maddie is a good example. She's a plant for Ambessa, okay but when and why did she become one? She couldn't have been one before Cait being named commander and when we next see her she's pushing for Cait to take power back from Ambessa. Did Ambessa just message her right after Cait and Vi started working together again as like a "the woman you love's actual love is back in the picture, you can either wallow or get revenge with me", but also made a smarmy remark about Cait 'at least being warm' or something. We didn't need to absolve Cait or villainize Maddie for their 'relationship' because they didn't even have a relationship-just a coping mechanism for Cait, similar to Vi's drinking. At best it was all unnecessary and at worst a waste of time.

Away from that, I want to focus on some good.

I am officially a JayVik shipper now. Them disappearing into a void together, encircled with each other, after Viktor spend however long within timelines/multiverses in hopes of finding a Jayce able to bring him back to his humanity? Come on, they needed to kiss. Especially after Jayce and Mel's low key break up. Honestly we were denied the three of them working together, because they would have been unstoppable.

Speaking of Mel, I love her. I love her design, her powers, her matricide, her taking command of Ambessa's armies, etc. I wish we could have seen more of her adapting to her new powers, finding peace with what she now is. There could have been a cool interaction with Viktor over how Arcane power has changed them both for better and worse.

I don't think Mel's story is done. With other characters, I can see them coming in for future story arcs as like, cameos or background details, but if the next LoL story is in Noxus I fully expect Mel to be a major player again.

Back to Jayce. I like Jayce, that could be my Arcane hot take, and I definitely want to write something more in depth on him. On all the characters really. For now, I'll just say that his determination to destroy everything he has built, because the only creation worth saving is his relationship with Viktor is just... glorious.

Viktor was amazing. I love Viktor in the lore, and they took his traits from the lore and amped them up to eleven. His body being destroyed and rebuilt, the process of which has chipped away his humanity and mutilated his dreams. He lives up to his own quote: "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good. We have to make it right."

Ekko is a character I never realize I miss. That sounds mean, it probably is, but I am never the less so happy to see him every time. It's like finding the missing piece you didn't even know was lost: that is Ekko to me. His mini adventure in the parallel universe was adorable. Us getting to see what could've been alongside learning what matters most to Ekko, him getting a taste of a near perfect life and still choosing to return to his own time. That's why Ekko is the true hero of this story.

In terms of Jinx, I'll just say I'm not a hundred percent sure she's dead. The airship leaving at the end followed by her scribbled sign off, plus not getting a dead body shot. It was definitely left open ended. Her looking to do something good, to not mess up, alongside her fear of not wanting to try again because she is just tired of failure, of being a Jinx, was too real in many ways. I will go in depth on her at a later date.

Caitlyn's arc is going to be argued about, no question. It needed more time (see the start of this long post) to make her point of her anger burning away, of it not being sustainable, hit harder. I would have made her realize what her anger was doing to Vi, have Jinx point out that they really are acting the same in their treatment of Vi, and use the whole Ambessa was literally stoking the fires of her hatred to help fit what time they had left. Honestly just have Cait learn Ambessa was the one behind the memorial attack, that would be a much better way to explain her anger diminishing enough to look beyond her own hurt to realize and take account of her mistakes.

Vi, as usual, needed more screen time. Not necessarily because her story would've been helped by it like in act two, but just because I wanted her to have more time to enjoy her life. I went into act three with the sole hope that Vi would have a nice day, only for her to loose everything again. The only people she has left are Cait and Ekko, and god help anyone who tries something against those too now. Her ending being the chance to finally rest, to lean on someone else, was beautiful. She is my favorite character and please let her have only good things in the future, she was traumatized in almost every scene this season please-

Nobody tell Vi that in a universe where she died young everyone else ended up living. It would destroy her.

Vi and Cait relationship was great. I wouldn't say it was rushed in act three, because it felt like it was where it should be for a final batch of episodes, if that makes sense. It felt like the set up was Cait being genuinely remorseful and Vi just wanting someone in her life who wanted her in return. It helps that they have great chemistry and that when given the chance they fit so neatly together. I think Jinx encouraging Vi to be with Cait is what sold it to me. Jinx realizing how much Vi has given/sacrificed and giving her blessing for her sister to be happy with someone she disapproves of; not to mention Cait pulling the guards from their posts to give Vi the chance to actually meet Jinx in order to have that conversation. All in all, it comes down to Vi's "I don't care" because that's really all there is too it for them. Vi is done being miserable and Cait makes her happy, vice versa. Cait is someone Vi can rely on, Vi is someone Cait can find strength in.

Spitfire round:

Sevika being made a councilor

Every single one of Mel, Cait, and Jayce's designs were 10/10s

Vi not being given an actual uniform, just armor and the gloves

Jinx cutting her hair further to match Vi

Ekko getting his crystal sword/bats

Heimerdinger dying after living a life where he could make his city something to be proud of

I was fully expecting Vander and Silco to kiss in that one shot

Everything with Benzo

Loris' name being said

Vi humming the song and the song being their mother's lullaby

Viktor being held within the Herald

Sky leaving so Viktor was free to bring Jayce to his space mind palace

Caitlyn's rifle never surviving

Fishman McBlue being the only one of Cait's soldiers to stick to his guns and stay loyal

Sevika and Shoola side eyeing each other

Vander and little Vi and Powder with the bunny

The bunny being a passenger on Jinx's balloon

Singed's messed up family getting a happy ending

[vagabond-umlaut]

beckoning you, slowly, subtly

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absence makes the heart yearn stronger.

Or: Gojo grapples with himself in the wake of you preparing to leave Tokyo Jujutsu High– in the wake of you preparing to leave him.

▸ Gojo x Fem!Reader; Former Teacher x Former Student; Reader has graduated from high school and is moving overseas for college; Gojo is 24-ish while Reader is 18; He's such a sad pathetic boi here; You think Reader is better? She's worse; Angst and Fluff; Use of humor as a coping mechanism [until it fails]; Very soft character study

▸ I wrote this as a prequel set minimum 10 years before the fic 'ensnared' -> You need not read that to read this, though. This is a standalone fic, through and through! 😊

Gojo feels nothing towards you.

No, he doesn't. He really, truly bears no feelings, whatsoever their nature might be, for you.

But... if it indeed is so... then why the hell are his knuckles so hesitant to strike the wood of your door, eh?

Gojo stays in this position for a beat or two more, before dropping his fist back to his side. Exhaling a mute yet deep sigh as his gaze travels over the tiny flowers and trees painted on the door. Next moves to the shoe rack beside, filled with neat rows of sneakers and flats. And finally reaches the cheery yellow paper taped to the door, your name written on it in smooth letters–

Before he can even realise it, the sorcerer finds his fingers over it, so wary yet wanting as they traverse the lines and the loops of the letters, eliciting a very soft murmur of the same from within, the latter darting past a dry throat and a heavy tongue...

"Sensei!"

The door suddenly springs open. Of course, with no one but you behind it.

Were here anyone else except him, Gojo is certain, they would have jumped feet in the air in response. Good thing, he isn't just some 'anyone else'. The sorcerer quickly withdraws his outstretched hand to stuff it into his pocket. And grins, the way he always does when caught in contemplation.

Big. Bright. Happy. So much so that it will either puzzle, or better yet, piss the other person off, eventually making them leave him to his devices...

"Heyyy," he drawls, decidedly making a show of his infamous breezy image— jarringly contrasting the manner his Six Eyes study your once decorated–now empty room, "Packing and everything's done, wow. Thought I might visit you one last time before you leave for..." Australia, but he chooses not to say it. Breezy image, remember?

Borrowing a beat to think– to make you think he's thinking, that is– the man resumes with a noisy chuckle, "Before you leave for wherever you're headed. When's your flight, by the way? Tonight or tomorrow morning?"

Whatever reply he might have been expecting from you, two shiny eyes and one o-shaped mouth certainly weren't on the list... You're pretty swift to erase them, however. Wiping your sweater paws over your face, you mimic his posture and grin back.

Cheeky, obviously, but much too strained than the ones you've given him so far... Your amused voice intrudes on his quiet scrutiny of you. "Why, Sensei? Missing me from this moment itself, eh?"

"Nah," he shoots back with a dismissive wave of his hand. Noting then ignoring the stinging twinge in the middle of his chest— no matter the fractional fall in your features; no matter anything, everything. "I'm literally waiting for when you'll walk out the school's torii gates— even more for when your plane will take off the tarmac and leave Japan! I was stuck teaching you for the better part of the past four years. What makes you think I'll miss you, heh. I'll be incredibly relieved, if anything."

"Ah," you say, following a moment's pause, "I see."

Quite an unenthusiastic reaction, if he's being honest; Gojo doesn't mind it, though. Not in the slightest.

Not even when he watches you regard him, oddly intense and pensive for a while, before you return to clearing your desk. So neat and tidy and dead with no books nor pens nor stray sketches strewn over its surface. The same way the rest of the room now seems: dreadfully dreary and dull, now that you– you with your bubbly self, shining in this damned dark school, jujutsu world– is moving away–

Oh.

Oh no.

You're moving away.

Which is... okay. Yeah, it's okay. But, but, but– "When will you come back?" The question escapes the confines of his mind into the stillness of your room, soon joined by another– one he bites his tongue and draws blood for, the second it leaves his mouth.

The tiny quaver in the words betraying the steady front he has put on very well– Until now. Until you— Too bad [or maybe, good] you've always read him rather well– so much so that you whirl round the instant the sentence flies into the foot in between, your crumpled features meeting his crumbling mask.

"You will come back, right?"

"I–" you start, eyes brimming with the same tears you wiped away so insistently then; he never hears you finish your answer, however.

Two tiny hands fling themselves round his neck, and before he can realise it, the sorcerer finds himself bent at the waist, nose nudging your temple while your face nuzzles into the crook of his neck, the collar of his jacket growing progressively wet with every passing second.

The man stops himself from returning your embrace— You were his student. He was your mentor. Your door is open. His Six Eyes sense Shoko and Utahime coming this way. He isn't meant for such empty shows of sentiment. He isn't sure if your gesture is as unfeeling as he hopes it is—

Screwing his eyes shut, he sighs. Yet offers no resistance when he feels your fingers unclasp from his shoulders then move to his hands, lifting them to keep them lightly on the small of your back.

Oh, well, whatever.

Gojo is still certain he feels nothing towards you.

Except, maybe, this steely resolve of his, engraving itself a cliff-like niche in his mind: To protect. To cherish this sweet feeling of you both in each other's grasp.

▸ Divider by @hitobaby. Header from Pinterest. I don't own the characters used here.

▸ masterlist

[luneemeritus]

I’m so tired of this now they’re saying Blitz has stockholm syndrome

Oh my god I'm SO GLAD this anti mentioned Stockholm Syndrome, but wait let me just point out some things before this topic

1- I LOVE the "hellaverse is sexiiissssttt" crowd slandering Vivienne on every oportunity they have and blindly praising Brandon for writing the same funny, dramatic and erotic episodes that she writes. Oh-uh, projected misogyny there, uh-hu. SPECIALLY when Stolitz, the scary boogyman they fear so much, was mainly developed by Brandon. The way queer women are treated, even when they're not really doing anything wrong and just living their lifes/doing their art, is horrendous. It sure tells a lot about antis and their moralism.

2- Wtf the new merch has to do with the EP's quality OR with Viv's morality? Literally, ANYTHING they dislike is a reason to write an essay against Viv. What are these ppl's obsession with Viv???????

3- And now the big elephant in the room. Stockholm Syndrome, the thing that doesn't exist, it's not recognize by any professional and has no psychological diagnosis of a mental illness or disorder in the DSM-5. You've probably already seen people accusing Belle from Beauty and the Beast of having such Syndrome, claiming that she "felt in love" with her kidnapper/abuser, even though the Beast: didn't kidnap her, didn't abuse her, it was her choice to stay at the castle, he changed by his own will (she didn't "fix him", he fixed himself, she always fought back his assholery and didn't accept to be treated badly AND only felt in love with him in the end, when she came back to the castle by her own choice, after he changed. But why am I talking about all of this even though other people already covered up this topic in much better ways? (x) It's because antis use the EXACT SAME arguments about Blitz and Stolas. Antis ignore Blitz's agency and consent, they ignore him not accepting shitty things Stolas did/say, they ignore the fact that Stolas never abused his power nor forced Blitz do to anything. Blitz is not a victim (of Stolas), Stolas is not an abuser. Blitz's traumas are not Stolas's fault and vice-versa. The "Stockoholm Syndrome" speech was used to infantilize victims (mostly women) and speak on their behalf, notice how it's never about the alledged abuser being a bad person, it's about the alledged victim being "weak" and "insane" by "falling in love" with their abusers.

Yall want an actual coping mechanism/victim and abuser dynamic? Angel and Valentino.

"(...) but the most important faced that people miss about Stockoholm Syndrome is that it is *not* a diagnosable mental disorder, it is *not* on the DSM, Stockoholm Syndrome is considered a "contested illness", as a large portion of the psychiatric and law enforcement community do not believe it is a thing. So, honestly, this entire conversation is almost rendered moot, because Stockoholm Syndrome kind of belong in the category of "debunked pseudoscience" than an actual study-able psychological condition, or at the very least is it in the category of "more research needed".

[aestherians]

Change and Loss

Word count: 1362

Expected reading time: 10-11 minutes

"If your otherkinity still serves you, it will never really leave you," is what I used to say - more as a reassurance than a statement of fact. I mean, how could I know for a fact that it was true? I didn't have any experience with losing a kintype. I still don't think I do; not really. And I always saw the idea repeated in the community - one time otherkind, always otherkind.

But I don't believe that's true anymore. I'm still a bison for sure. I've never doubted that. I'm still Ɐwhrayɐ the gnoll and I'm still Ben the shapeshifter… but I'm beginning to accept that those sides of me have changed.

"One time otherkin, always otherkin. If your otherkinity still serves you, it will never really leave you"… but what if that's not true? What if you still benefit from your kintypes, and they disappear regardless? What do you do if you lose a part of yourself, or if a part of yourself becomes unrecognizable to you? How do you keep living when you've lost yourself?

Sometime in 2023 the distress of always having to hide my true self became too much to bear alone. But I'm not a brave person. I think the better solution would've been to just bite the bullet and start expressing myself, but hindsight is 20/20. I've survived 25 years by hiding everything that makes me 'weird', and the idea of leaving my one dependable survival strategy behind was (is) terrifying. I went to a free self-help seminar ("Take control of your life!") but all it taught me is that I need a dependable support network before I can take control of my life. I went to my doctor to try and get a referral for a therapist (it's cheaper than just finding your own therapist). Instead he sent me to a psychiatrist for my 'delusions'. The psychiatrist told me my experiences, worldview, and self-perception were unusual but not harmful - they could only help if my goal was to get rid of my schizotypal traits (traits that weren't even significant enough to warrant a diagnosis). If all I wanted was to learn how to conquer my fears and express my true self, they couldn't help. It took months of visits to get the diagnosis: Traumatized by peer abuse, too poor to afford my own therapy, and too anxious and ADHD to even find a therapist in the first place.

I can't even say I was left at square one. I had started out hopeful. Nearing the end of 2023, I just felt helpless.

At the same time, my studies were drawing to a close. I completed my bachelor's degree in animal science and all it took was a diagnosis of ADHD so I could legally buy amphetamines, a compound-diagnosis of autism so I wouldn't get kicked out when I inevitably misunderstood exam questions and failed final after final, and 5½ years - almost twice the expected time for a bachelor's degree in my country.

It should've been freeing but instead it left me directionless. Helpless and directionless - that's how I entered 2024!

In the past, in the strictly structured day-to-day of school, my kintypes have been a source of comfort. Especially my Ben fictotype, which probably fell into the category of coping mechanism. I awakened in a time of intense stress and retreated to that world whenever my present life got too much. When crowds got me overstimulated or I missed an important deadline or fought with my neighbors or drifted apart from old friends, I thought about all the times Ben!me had gone through similar or worse. I cut off a friend in my present life after finding out he'd abused his ex - but in my other life I'd cut off a friend who tried to murder me, and things still turned out fine. I lived through it. I could live through it again. Every situation had a parallel in my other life.

I still don't know why that method failed me, but eventually it did. It's not that it didn't work, it was more that I suddenly had to put an effort into making it work. As if I'd always been able to enter Narnia and now suddenly I had to personally petition Aslan to let me back in. It started in the fall of 2023 but it wasn't until spring 2024 that I fully realized. Coping had never been an effort before, and the worst part is, I don't even know why it suddenly was.

My fictotype was drifting away, even when it still served me! This wasn't supposed to happen! Had I been lied to?!

I think our community has a lot of survivorship bias. Whichever mailing lists and newsgroups get archived, and whatever snailmail gets published, that's what our history is based on. The people who made archivable geocities sites get to write our story - not the people on closed forums or in private chat groups. People who leave the community don't tend to leave behind pristine essays on their fully archived websites explaining why they left. It does happen, don't get me wrong, but it's rare. And when they do leave behind messages, it's usually some variant of "I still love the community that fostered my awakening, I'm just an adult with responsibilities now and I don't have time for this."

But what about the people who don't love the community? Who 'unawakened'? Who aren't passionate enough to leave behind a final message? Do we ever hear from the otherkind who 'fizzled out' and became human - or at least lost a kintype?

You can understand my panic, right? I considered turning my fictotype into a copinglink, but my ADHD is so debilitating I barely remember to brush my teeth - no way I was gonna remember to do daily reinforcement exercises. Especially frazzled 2024 me (still frazzled as of June but I'm hanging in there!).

I was forced to accept whatever my come.

I'm still Ben, on some level, but I won't say "I'm thankfully still Ben," 'cause is it really that bad to not be Ben? Even if that facet had served me well and could still serve me? $1,000,000 could serve me well, but uselessly pining after it doesn't serve me.

I didn't prepare myself for loss because I really wasn't sure I was gonna lose a part of me - and, in any case, grieving preemptively is a waste of energy if you ask me. Instead a turned to the Bison - not my own bison theriotype, but the archetype of the Bison. When one woowoo solution fails, why not try another?

The Bison has always been a good teacher to me - better than any self-help seminar or psychiatrist. The Bison takes everything in stride. The Bison survives until it can thrive. The Bison ruminates on the present, it doesn't ponder the future. The Bison doesn't grieve or fret unnecessarily. It exists in the now. I exist in the now.

Of course, the chance that anyone reading this works with the Bison spirit is slim, but I think its teachings can help everyone - regardless of spirituality.

When turning to other worlds doesn't aid you, accept it, and turn to the present world. Let your worries pass through you, you can't see clearly when you're pent up with worry. You can't prevent the seasons from turning, all you can do is turn with them. Accept your lack of control, instead of trying to grasp at the uncontrollable. Sometimes change is unexpected, and you may not like it, and it might not even open up new doors for you. Not all change is good. But you cannot prevent every unwanted change, and you have to keep living regardless.

My fictionkinity doesn't have the intensity of my first few years post-awakening, but it also doesn't have the casual reassuredness of decade-old kintypes. It comes and goes, and when it comes it's like a whisper. And one day it might become too quiet for me to notice. One day it might not return.

But I think I can live with that.

[izzabela]

Mortal Kombat Headkanons

in which i talk about certain characters

a/n: the success of my short!fem!reader x bi han canons made me want to make a couple of hcs for some of my other favorite characters

ship[s]: none

warning(s): bi!johnny?

Johnny:

- he misses his wife. more than words could say

- he doesn't prolong the divorce, signing the papers and immediately giving her the required settlement without issue

- Johnny and kung lao definitely have drinking competitions. like, they drink to see who can handle more (Kung Lao often loses and pays Johnny)

- Johnny talks to kenshi about his divorce, a lot (does it count as talking if he wakes up next to him in bed?)

- Johnny does really good research when he's creating his mortal kombat cinematic universe. like, really good research. i know the kanon end for him is a director, but if you really examine that clip, it's incredible how much thought he put into this

- you know how johnny tells tomas that if he wins their spar he gets a part? i think even if tomas lost, he'd still give him the part

- Johnny takes up journaling as a coping mechanism. i'd say that it would've been introduced to him by Raiden, but he uses it to vent about his PTSD in Shang Tsung's lab

Raiden:

- i believe Raiden reassures Kung Lao a lot. we know that Kung Lao often is compared to Raiden, but it never affects Kung Lao in a negative way- and i think it's because of how kind Raiden is

- he hypes Kung Lao up in different ways, and Kung Lao takes them as genuine compliments

- Raiden. loves. hugs. no, i won't be taking criticisms

- a part of me thinks Raiden does have a twisted darkness to him, remained untapped of course because of how Liu Kang made him. i headcanon that this darkness grows bit by bit when he trains with the Shirai Ryu

- speaking of the Shirai Ryu, Hanzo definitely has taken a liking to Raiden. if Hanzo looks at Takeda like an older brother, and Tomas maybe as an uncle/father figure, Raiden is def another older brother

- i think Raiden dotes on his sister a lot. he definitely takes good care of her, always praising her and patting her head and whatnot. he does the same to Hanzo for sure

- Raiden still visits Fengjian to help with chores. no, i won't be taking any criticisms on this

Kung Lao:

- as mentioned above, Kung Lao doesn't have a hating bone in his body for Raiden because Raiden himself keeps him grounded

- however, i still think Kung Lao struggles with identity issues. i think he has days where he really thinks about him and Raiden, and how Raiden is branded as the "better version" of him

- Kung Lao is a cuddle bug. no, i will not be taking any form of criticism at all on this take

- for some reason, I can see Kung Lao making wordplay jokes. i'm filipino, and wordplay is a huge thing in our culture and humor, and I'm pretty sure the Chinese language dabbles in good wordplay humor as well

- Kung Lao absolutely plays boardgames. i can see him introducing Johnny, Kenshi, and the other monks to games he and Raiden played when they were younger

- if Kung Lao had a phone, he'd so be into memes, dank memes, tiktok memes, and the gen z slang business. i can hear him say "i fw that heavy" or the other stuff that's been trending. i'm so bold as to say his favorite type of meme might be vine humor

- i think Kung Lao is an only child. idk, y'all can debate me on this one

Kenshi Takahashi:

- he sends letters to Suchin. since she's still part of the yakuza, and he against, he can't exactly be near her. he writes in great detail, and he'll even send a picture or sketches for Suchin as a visual aid

- i think pre-blindess, Kenshi would have been a major sketcher. he wouldn't be really good at it, but he'd create amazing (and quick) scenery stills of different places he's been to

- Kenshi is such a good listener. no, i'm not trying to be funny since he's blind- i really believe he listens well and gives good advice

- Kenshi would so fight with Takeda. just like how Raiden and Kung Lao fought to settle their bets, those two would also duel

- part of me imagines Kenshi waking up early for training. i think he'd train the best with Raiden, then Kung Lao, then Johnny. i'd go as far to say that Kenshi likes Raiden's company post-spars

- post-blind Kenshi most definitely deals with PTSD, no doubt. he and Johnny talk about it, and I'd like to say both he and Johnny developed insomnia and stay up to talk over the phone

- i hc that Johnny goes to Japan to do research for a "Kenshi Takahashi" solo film, and that he takes Kenshi with him to act as a tour guide and a cultural master (pls go look at @/heyachow on IG! she draws MK1 art and there is a JohnShi post that pertains to this idea)

- he's confused on how he feels for both johnny and suchin

Geras:

- as a fandom, we do not talk about this man enough

- as much as Geras is a loyal follower, i'd like to think that there are times he does doubt Liu Kang. however, when a kanon event comes to pass, his faith in him is restored and he continues with life

- i know Liu Kang said that Geras isn't one for social calls, but i can't shake the feeling that Geras does pop into the Fire Temple for tea. Liu Kang 100% put him on it too (ginseng tea would be Geras's favorite)

- there's a voice-line of Geras and Takeda talking about the dinosaur's extinction, but i think i get why Geras would be traumatized over that. i think he sees it aslife being wiped out in the blink of an eye, and since he was part of the process in creation of it, he feels guilty

- Geras would give firm handshakes if he wasn't so opposed to mortals. you can all argue with the wall on this take

- when Geras talks to others and they ask about their futures or pasts, the people like Tomas, Tanya, or even Takeda make him sad because he (once again) feels responsible. of course, it's part of the course of their fates, but he looks at them a little longer compared to others

- since Geras would be the Keeper of Time after Liu Kang, i think he likes to use the hourglass to view his favorite memories of his friends (though he does not call them friends)

- this might be a fanon, but Geras absolutely makes sand sculptures when he gets uber bored

Liu Kang:

- i think the characters misinterpret the intention Liu Kang had for the timeline. his whole purpose was to make it so that humans had free will to create their own destinies and endings- choose your own adventure

- i think Liu Kang beats himself up from time to time when thinking over the paths of certain people. Bi Han, Tomas, Shang Tsung, even General Shao, he thinks of these people and wonders if he could have made better choices in terms of their lore and origins

- i know it's canon that Liu Kang wishes he made Johnny more humble, but damn do i believe he really regrets it at times. like, he'll openly talk about it to people like Raiden, or Kung Lao

- speaking of them, he looks at his pupils and sometimes sees the visages of his former mentor and best friend. he's content with his life as the protector of Earthrealm, but can a man dream

- Liu Kang would absolutely use the Hourglass to see his Kitana again. i'm not entirely sure how that works, but i imagine you can use it to see into the other timelines as the flow of time continues. he'd smile fondly at the image of his love training her pupils

- this plays into the Geras tea headcanon, but Liu Kang would absolutely (and proudly) ask for Geras to join him for tea. instead of talking, though, they'd sit in silence- a comfortable one

- since Liu Kang's ending in the game means he is no longer immortal, but will live rather long, i imagine him to be scared of losing his life. in previous timelines, he's died and resurrected, but this time it's permanent. that is what scares him

Sindel:

- she's the epitome of "i won't apologize, but here's a bowl of your favorite fruits"

- as she watches over her daughters through Ermac's eyes, she most definitely regrets the harshness she had towards Mileena. though she cannot personally come through Ermac due to the amount of souls it houses, Jerrod tells Mileena for her

- this might borderline fanon, but i think the reason Sindel chose blue and red/maroon for Kitana and Mileena was because blue+red=purple. kind of poetic in a sense, that her daughters make up who she is as a woman, mother, and a queen

- when Li Mei is seen through Ermac's eyes, Sindel cries. she can't hug her friend anymore, and she most definitely can't give her the proper apology she deserves after her years of mistreatment against her

- Sindel hates spicy food. idk, she just looks like she does

- Sindel definitely knew that Mileena was a lesbian before Mileena could even name it. i'd like to think she knew when Mileena shaved her head like that when she was maybe 8000 years old?

- Sindel was definitely proud of Mileena with her stance on Tarkatans and people infected with Tarkat. she definitely regrets how she treated them, and her hypocrisy, especially since they had the power to provide people with a semi-cure

Shang Tsung:

- there's a voice-line on Shang Tsung and another character saying that he was actually doing research on Tarkat and finding a cure. while the characters don't believe him (i don't blame them), i actually believe that he was doing good

- part of me still believes he brews his potions and experiments with Tarkat remedies on that island he found

- Shang Tsung is a cat guy. wave your pitch forks all you want

- Shang Tsung looks like the type of guy to visit his old home just to burn it down. with his fire powers, he absolutely would watch his childhood home burn until it became nothing but ash

- i think Shang Tsung would take leisure walks. if he's in a village, he'll take precaution to shift into a different form, but he will still make time out of his day to take a walk

- he has stacks upon stacks upon stacks upon stacks of journals and scrolls on medicine

General Shao:

- i think there are times where Shao does regret turning against the crown. his military lineage and history, and all the lessons he'd been indoctrinated with make him think like that sometimes, especially since his father had watched him overcome his illness

- i think Shao is ticklish at his horns

- Shao views Reiko like a son. he'll take care of him personally when he is sick or injured

- Shao likes nightly walks

- Shao would absolutely fuck with spicy food

- before Shao was on the run, he snuck back into his family home to grab his father's heirloom. i don't know what it would be, but it would be important enough for him to take from you

Tanya:

- if she misses a day of prayer/temple days, she is visibly dejected

- Tanya absolutely writes love notes to Mileena. sometimes it accidentally gets sent to Kitana, and she receives response notes along the lines of "please, get a room"

- she's the type of girl to stick by the schedule, and it's not just because she is Umgadi. i believe her personality to be "stick to the books", always following the rules (except for Mileena of course)

- the sisters know Tanya is jealous when they spar against her. Tanya would see Mileena on a date with a potential suitor and she'd take it out on the sparring field

- Tanya visits Li Mei for coffee or a meal. it serves as both making new friends and repairing bridges

- i think Tanya is a clean freak. you guys can talk to the hand on this take

Kitana:

- since Kitana is now a movie lover, of course she's excited when Johnny and his film crew are in the palace. she definitely asks questions on what the cameras do, what the clapperboard is, and what the editors do

- i think Kitana was a crier growing up. i could see a little Kitana telling Mileena that someone called her ugly, and Mileena would sock that idiot's face in without wavering

- Kitana and Mileena used to be close, and Kitana does whatever she can to always remind Mileena that she does love and support her

- Kitana thinks about Raiden. if she gets lucky with Mileena's schedule, she talks to her about her feelings towards him. usually it ends up with Kitana denying her feelings about him

- Kitana is a mama's girl

- Kitana secretly wishes the best for Tanya and Mileena. in public, she cannot say anything about their relationship. in private, though, she'll talk to Mileena about all the little thing she saw going on between them

=====================

and that's a wrap for that hc list

i got eight reqs i havent started, and three finished lined up in the queue, you guys are so sweet!

i can't wait to keep writing, and i'll see yall in the next fic!

[mxdarling]

["did you miss me? because i really missed you" / "no! i'm not going anywhere and neither are you! we're stuck together now, i'll make sure of it"]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: the greatest detective, will never leave your side and neither will you leave his.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 1.8k

ೃ⁀➷: reference/inspiration: n/a

ೃ⁀➷: event: [200 followers event]

[author's note:] my first bsd work LOLL god when I say I was writing this with trembling hands I wouldn't be lying, I was so scared to write for him even though he's one of my favs fufuu I just hate mischaracterization and i don't wanna fuck this up, anyways thank you anon for requesting ranpo with #30 and #22! it has been my pleasure to write for him LOLL enjoy!!

[warnings:] lowercase, ooc ranpo, yandere behavior, they/them prns, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, ranpo sits on reader's lap, mentions of stalking, implied reader being blackmailed by ranpo, reader is taller than ranpo, non consensual kissing (cheeks & lips), ranpo licks reader's fingers, eavesdropping.

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. I don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. If you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, I am not responsible for your actions from here on out.

[GN reader]

RANPO EDOGAWA, the greatest detective in the world, one who could solve a case in under 3 seconds, your annoying and childlike coworker, the one who has no ability, is currently following you around like a lost child. this has been going on for—at least, 4 minutes max—just him trailing a few centimeters behind as you continue to walk to your destination. in all fairness, when he found out you were going to the grocery store, he immediately jumped into the conversation and decided by himself that he's going to join you during your trip.

"areee weeeee there yet? i don't remember the journey to the store being this long!" a loud whine comes out of ranpo's mouth, worsening your mood as you hear his whiny voice, the kind you'd hear from a 6-year-old child who is simply too impatient to wait for their turn. from your peripheral vision, you could see several people looking at the two of you, ranging from confusion to judgmental stares. his shoulders are down, making him have a slouched body posture as he walks behind youin a more lazier manner than you, who is so close to speed stomping and leaving him behind.

"are we ther- hey! wait up!"

scratch that last thought, you're going to have a pleasant trip to the grocery store and you're going to leave him behind if that's what it takes to have peace of mind.

(fortunately for him, you didn't. your dislike for attention proves to be something he could use to his advantage, seeing how you crumbled under the feeling of many eyes turned towards you two when he whined and cried in the middle of the sidewalk, making a scene in broad daylight, taking his wrist in your grip, and dragging him along to your destination, making him match your speedy pace. he'll definitely keep this in mind for future use.)

the office was quiet, and you were alone in the room—switching between writing and reading a bunch of papers piled up near where you're sitting. despite having gone through just a few pieces of paper, the weight on your shoulders and back has gotten rather heavy, like you didn't stretch your limbs beforehand after waking up from your 5-hour rest. the silence was odd, to say the least, not that it wasn't unwelcome; it just made you curious about what your co-workers were up to, which made them not present in the office today. maybe yosano is out shopping, maybe kunikida and dazai were out chasing down criminals, and whatnot, maybe atsushi is helping out to solve a case with... him. the oh so great detective, fucking ranpo.

as much as he preached about how great he is and how everyone else in the detective agency respects and admires him, you were quite indifferent towards him in general. you aren't sure what everyone sees in him or what makes him so interesting that he's able to get this much attention—in other words, he's just plain boring in your eyes. actually, scratch that; he's more than boring; he's an absolute brat. he's whiny, always munching on his snacks so loudly, refusing to do work or cases sometimes, and acting like his super deduction is an ability. what's even worse is that he seems so determined to bother you constantly, every chance he gets. rarely are you left alone and left to breathe from the overwhelming detective—even if you are given a moment of peace, he'd come running back acting like an even bigger headache for you.

"(nameeeeeee)!" filling up the room with his shout, he pushed open the door with such force that it banged so loudly that the noise echoed to the other side. you could feel his attention on your back as silence once again filled the room. in the most coincidental (and worst) timing, the headache you were talking shit in your head comes into the office—a dreadful pit building up in your stomach as you mentally pray in your head for whatever ranpo is going to put you through this time. you could hear the skip in his footsteps. every step he takes, more sweat starts rolling down your cheeks as you close your eyes and imagine a life without ranpo, without the suffocation of love and attention he gives you, without the anxious thoughts of being followed on your way home (you have major suspicions that it's ranpo but have nothing solid to prove it's him), without him blackmailing you into compliance, without-

dragging you out of your inner thoughts, the headache makes impactful contact with your back. "did you miss me? because i really missed you!" he says in a cheerful tone, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a tight grip and rubbing his cheeks against yours like someone would greet their lover when they miss them so much (he's doing it on purpose to make you uncomfortable, you think). to further prove your point, he smashes his lips against your cheek, not once, not twice, but multiple times in the same and adjacent areas of your cheek. if this had happened to you several months ago, the simple act of him trying to wrap his arms around your shoulders would make you go away from him as fast and as far as possible—even more so if he tried to kiss you, your water bills would skyrocket through the roof for how much time you would spend in the bathroom trying to scrub away the kiss on your cheek.

"no i didn't, actually" having gotten used to his (non-consensual) affection towards you, his actions do not faze you; on the outside, that is, there still remains that pit of disgust you used to have all those months ago. those urges to swat his body away from yours to give yourself some space are still there, yet you do nothing to act on any of them. you simply decide to indulge in whatever antics he has up his sleeves this time for the next few hours of your day—not that you had a choice, anyway.

(several times you've expressed discomfort at the physical touches he gives you during work hours, several times you've expressed discomfort at the physical touches he gives you during work hours, and several times he intentionally ignores it for his own benefit. the one time he went overboard was when he made himself comfortable on your lap, handed you several sweet snacks you assumed he got from his secret stash, and forced you to hand-feed him until he was satisfied. to say this stunt of his hindered your productivity would be an understatement. you were way behind your planned schedule by the time you finished hand-feeding him all the sweet snacks.

just as you were about to ask him to get off, he suddenly grabbed your wrist, saying something about "there's still some crumbs left!" which confused the fuck out of you until you felt the wet sensation of a tongue licking your fingers. the horrors expressed on your face seemed to further encourage the amused ranpo, as he started sucking on your fingers too! neither of you two brought up that incident again, though you're glad he hasn't done this again; you aren't sure how well you were going to handle the next one.)

"i guess you could say smart men are my type," you say rather subconsciously without any thought or care of your co-workers' reaction to your answer, instead putting all your focus on your computer screen and continuing to type away as you hear several gasps and 'no way's from your left side.

"(name), are you.. sure smart men are your type?" there was hesitation in their voice, disbelief even—like they didn't believe you the first time. "uhh.. yeah? i didn't really give much thought, but intelligence is hot, i guess," you said once again, answering in the same manner you did the first time. you weren't sure what they were trying to get out of this conversation, but if you had to guess, most likely they're attempting to set you up on a blind date. "..alright, if you say so.." they say, ultimately ending the conversation and switching topics to avoid making the awkwardness linger in the atmosphere.

(little did you and your co-workers know, the great detective was listening in on the whole conversation. hearing every word that came out of your mouth, to say he stumbled upon your little talk on accident would be a lie—he doesn't go to such lengths without a reason. to say he's surprised by your type of men like your co-workers were would be another lie, but he's quite puzzled. if smart men are your type, why do you always seem to give the expression that you're disgusted by him? no matter, as a detective, it's his job to uncover every bit of mystery and solve for all the missing pieces.)

stepping out of the building, bidding farewell to your co-workers, and parting ways as you walk to your house, taking extra caution by putting your keys between your fingers in case you were to be stalked by someone, especially a certain someone you've been trying to avoid all day long...

"(naaameeeee)!!" and speak of the devil; he shows up to come and ruin your day just when you're about to go home—how fun. you let out a tired sigh and turned around to see ranpo running towards you at full speed. the sight set off alarm bells in your head, so on impulse, you tried to get out of his way and hoped he ran too fast that he ended up hitting a light pole straight in the face. yet it seems this day of yours wouldn't be so lucky, because suddenly he grabs your shirt, pulls you a little lower to his height, and then kisses you on the lips.

your eyes widen in shock, momentarily stunned for a second, before you feel your instincts kick in and roughly push him away.

"ranpo, what the fuc-!?"

suddenly you feel an unexpected impact hitting your chest, emitting a surprising noise from your mouth, making you cut off mid-sentence. ranpo buries his face underneath your chin, rubbing against your skin with his cheek like it's a pillow—opening your mouth. you tried to protest once more against him, but nothing came out. the sudden feeling of a pair of arms wrap around your torso and your arms holding you in a tight grip, sending the message that he doesn't want to let you go. after what felt like eternity to you, he looks up and shows you the poutiest expression you've ever seen him make.

"no! i'm not going anywhere, and neither are you! we're stuck together now; i'll make sure of it!"

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[dufferpuffer]

Dude, I need someone to simp over David Thewlis with and I have no one to go to. I have a feeling I know your opinion about David Thewlis as Remus Lupin (and I think it's a positive one? correct me if I'm wrong, I know some people don't think he did the character justice).

To be honest, I don't think the movies did his character justice, but I think David Thewlis was THE cast for him. The movies made him too soft, too gentle, too perfect. Book Remus is a lot more polarized than that. For every soft quality, he has a YIKES counterpart that is never shown in the movies. The only time we truly see this "yikes" counterpart is the Shrieking Shack scene when he smirks menacingly at Sirius and you think he's a villain. David pulled that off really good. I saw the movie before reading the book (I was a young kid at that time and PoA was too much to read for me) and I felt cheated, I suddenly didn't think I could trust him anymore.

The thing David Thewlis pulled off best, imo, is the fatherly quality of Remus. I know, Remus is a pathetic man with an avoidant personality, but we can't deny he is fatherly. And I feel that, no matter what movie I watch with David in it, the fatherly vibes just radiate from him. In a way I am glad it is like that in the movies because I use PoA as a coping mechanism in life. Stressed? PoA. Sad? PoA. Crisis? PoA. David absolutely nailed the comfy professor aura. Everything about him in PoA is inviting, it draws you in. His voice, his smile, the way he carries himself, his quiet strength. Who could've done it better? I love him.

Enjoy this young David Thewlis edit that I'm obsessed with. Cheers my tumblr friend <3

https://www.tiktok.com/@.dearlupin/video/7410813583577091334

David Threwlis is a fucking GEM and the PERFECT pick for the character in every aspect, yes. I can't think of how anyone could actually think otherwise. He looks perfect and acts perfect.

To the point where I would actually be happy if he played Remus AGAIN for the TV series or whatever - even though he looks so much older. Play up the fact he looks 'older than his age' or do some makeup, I dunno, I don't care. I would be alright with it.

I don't think any of the movies do anyone justice, TBH - ignoring the fact that of course things will have to be trimmed and simplified. I think most people agree though that the way they chose to do so was destructive and missed the point of the overarching story.

OotP and HBP were enjoyable as individual movies - but cut out so, so much that it damages the series as a whole. OotP especially should have been two movies, to REALLY get to know the Order Members, the adult world harry desperately wants to enter - revisit Lupin and Sirius, get attached to the real Moody - set up Tonks... maybe end the first one with Dumbledore leaving...?

But some actors pulled through wonderfully with the limited time they were given to portray their role, Alan Rickman of course being one - and I think David Threwlis is an underrated other. He did fucking BEAUTIFULLY and it made up for imo a half-assed performance from Gary Oldman as Sirius. He has perfect aesthetic and his fatherly moments with Harry were gorgeous... but most of the time he felt like his heart wasn't in it.

Remus, in the movies, HAD to be soft... but always carry a touch of coldness. A comfortable room but the heater isn't on. A cup of tea but you're asked to leave right after. Gentle eyes that pierce. Slightly odd expressions that feel kind, but also... off. He nailed that. Absolutely. That softness that makes you want to cozy up close, but a constant distance that makes you wonder why. Also the mustache was absolute genius. If only they gave him greys...

THIS LOOK? Underrated. SO MUCH PACKED INTO IT. Displeasure, surprise, 'oh shit im in danger' - but then forced innocence, a bit of weariness, a cheeky idea...

How he came out of the darkness, too - Snape specifically calling Lupin to show him the map was meaningful in the books, but Remus walking out of the pitch black was symbolic in the movies. It was a decent change. THIS is when I felt a 'Hm...' about Remus. (I saw it as an adult though, first time last year. I had no idea I'd love him so much.)

I LOVVEEEE going on and on about Remus being a wet tissue paper - because he is so often mischaracterized in so many different ways... but he IS good. He IS strong, compassionate, wise, clever... Fatherly. He will put himself aside to comfort someone in need. He just can't do that for himself. He will punish himself for the things he is gentle with in others.

"His voice, his smile, the way he carries himself, his quiet strength. Who could've done it better? I love him." YEAHYEAHYEAH David can pack layers of depth into every movement he makes. His little head bobbles, the ways his eyes pin on something and stare, his control of exactly how he smiles... ITS SO GOOD AHH

Normally a link to tiktok earns an instant vaporization but you get a pass aight I wont kill you God he's so wonky looking, look at him, he is delightful, I am going to spread him on toast with my vegemite

[beom-pyu]

inside out ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ choi beomgyu

choi beomgyu x g!n reader , tags: established relationship , non idol au , angst w a slightly happy ending <3

warnings: arguing, name calling (only "stupid", but just in case!), past toxic relationships, not explicitly stated but gyu's ex cheated on him, almost breaking up, shared tears, gyu has bad coping mechanisms, cheating accusations, mentions of therapy (this is not glorifying toxic relationships!)

wc: 2.3k>

request

beomgyu is silent during your drive home from the party, one hand on the wheel and the other under his chin as if he's deep in thought. you feel anxious in the silence, shifting around in your seat, glancing over at him every few seconds.

this had been your dynamic all night and you have no idea why. he had seemed so excited to go your friend's get together, nearly bouncing off the walls before you two left; but by the time you were settled with a drink in your hand, it was as if a switch had flipped in beomgyu's head and he turned stone cold. you tried to not let it get to you, but you couldn't help that sinking feeling in your gut when he would barely talk to you.

you had excused yourself from the conversation you were having with your close friend, yeonjun, standing up to find beomgyu in the kitchen, sipping on a can of sprite.

"hey, gyu," you spoke softly, trying not to show how bothered you really were. maybe he was just tired, or didn't feel well. you hated jumping to conclusions, but your mind raced with a million thoughts and it made you dizzy. all beomgyu did was hum in response as you leaned into his side, looking up at him. "you okay, baby?"

"yep." beomgyu's lips pressed into a thin line, his eyebrows raising with the slightest hint of annoyance, but you didn't miss the expression. you felt a little hurt, but you tried to think of any possibility that didn't involve you being the culprit of his sour mood.

"y/n, come look at this!" yeonjun called from the living room, a few of your friends doubled over in laughter from a video playing from his phone.

"one sec!" you shouted from where you stood before turning your attention back to beomgyu. "you coming?"

"nah, i'll stay here," beomgyu forced a smile towards you, his eyes not quite bunching up into the pretty crescent moons you were used to.

"you sure...? we can leave if you're not feeling well," you pouted, reaching up to brush some hair out of his eyes. beomgyu leaned into your touch, but shook his head in response.

"no, i'm okay. go ahead."

and maybe you should've stayed next to him. maybe you should've insisted on leaving—but then your name was called again and again, and you finally left beomgyu's side.

if something was wrong, he'd tell you, right?

right?

that proved to be false as you ride home in silence, the only noise coming from the tap of his fingers on the steering wheel and the hum of the car.

you want to ask him what's wrong, but this has happened before, too many times to count, and you know it'll just end up in an argument so you try to keep your lips shut. his hand isn't on your thigh like it usually is and he won't even look at you. the uncertainty is eating away at you slowly and the words that spill out of your mouth without a second thought.

"gyu… did i do something?"

a beat of silence passes, and then another, and then another, and then another, before he finally sighs.

"no."

the word comes out thick and rough, and you both know he's lying to prevent any arguments as well. his answer makes you feel even worse and you curl in on yourself, turning your head to look out the window.

"you can just tell me if i did something to upset you," you say under your breath. you know he heard. you wanted him to hear.

beomgyu is silent again and you get the sudden urge to cry. you're sensitive about things like this, still scarred from your last relationship. it's not beomgyu's fault that you react this way— moments like these just give you the worst deja vu and you can't help it.

"can we talk when we get home?" your voice has no strength, cutting off into a mumble near the end. you can hear beomgyu shift in his seat.

"yeah."

and the car is silent again. it's silent as you head up the elevator to your apartment. it's silent as you take your shoes off and arrange them nicely by the front door. it's silent as you anxiously wait on the couch while beomgyu showers before going in for your own, the mirror still damp with condensation. you hate showering separately.

the air in your shared bedroom is thick as you walk in. suddenly, the air is too cold and you curse yourself for choosing to wear shorts to sleep. you head over to your vanity to do the rest of your skincare routine while beomgyu shuffles about the room behind you.

you know he wants to say something, but he doesn't. and it's driving you crazy.

you try to think of everything, anything you could have possibly done to make beomgyu upset, but nothing comes to mind. heavy guilt sits on your shoulders for something you have no idea you even did.

you're always the first to speak in situations like this. you know how beomgyu is. he shuts down until you both forget about the problem or end up in an explosive fight and you really don't want either of those things to happen.

you wish he felt more comfortable being open and honest with you, but that was his own baggage to unpack. you have been together for a year and there is still so much you haven't learned about him yet. you want to know. you want this to work.

you take a deep breath, standing to walk over to where beomgyu stood at the dresser, digging through one of the drawers to pick out a shirt to sleep in.

"beomgyu," you start, your voice soft and open. you don't want this to be a fight—you just want to talk.

beomgyu glances up at you before looking back down in his drawer. it never takes that long to pick out a t-shirt to sleep in.

"hm?" he replies, refusing to look at you. you sigh, wringing your hands nervously in front of you. you shouldn't be this anxious, you really shouldn't, but the vile feeling crawls up your spine and curls around your throat and everything feels a little too warm all of a sudden.

he's mad at you. he's mad at you. he's mad at you.

"are you mad at me?"

beomgyu's movements pause for a moment before continuing.

"no, i'm not mad at you."

your anxiousness begins to mix with frustration at the words. why is he beating around the bush? if he has something to say, he should just say it. you try to contain your emotions, scanning his face for any sign of what he’s thinking. his eyebrows are tightly nit together, his lips are stiff, and his shoulders are tense. you want nothing more than to reach over and wrap him up in your arms.

"why were you upset tonight? you barely talked to me at the party," you start, arms crossed over your chest, a frown settled onto your lips. beomgyu scoffs at the words, lifting his head to finally look you in the eye.

"well maybe if you weren't fucking flirting with yeonjun right in front of me, i could've had space to talk to you," beomgyu sneers, his eyes glaring into yours. you feel a hot flash course through your body, your brows furrowing in confusion.

"beomgyu, what are you talking about? i wasn't flirting with yeonjun!" you feel sick at beomgyu even thinking to accuse you of something like that.

"yes you were, y/n! he was all over you and you just... you just let him! laughing and shit like he was the funniest guy in the world," beomgyu rolled his eyes, his voice raising slightly in tone.

it's as if everything goes from 0 to 100, the tension rising in the room quickly. your palms are sweaty and you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears, trying to not let the hot tears stinging from your eyes spill over. you're an angry crier and you hate it.

everyone in the world knows you and yeonjun are just friends, strictly friends, and that's it. you have been friends longer than you and beomgyu have been together. what surprised you the most is that beomgyu has never shown any type of discomfort with your friendship, so you have no idea where any of this is coming from.

"you know we're just friends. why is it suddenly a problem?" your voice is filled with tiredness and frustration, coming out weaker than intended. beomgyu, on the other hand, seems to be getting angrier and angrier with each word that leaves your mouth.

"are you fucking stupid, y/n? anyone could see how close you guys were tonight. stop acting like you didn't notice." his words are sharp and pierce through you, his head looking back down at the drawer despite already having a shirt in his hands.

"what the fuck, beomgyu?" your words crack on the last syllable. through all the arguments you have had, he has never had it in his right mind to degrade you, out of all things.

that was when you broke, the tears spilling past your eyes before you could even attempt to hold them back, hands shaking at your sides.

beomgyu wasn't looking at you—instead, his gaze was frozen the shirt gripped in his hand. his eyes looked far away and his chest was rising and falling at an unnatural rhythm.

"this isn't going to work," beomgyu whispers, dropping the shirt back into the drawer with a sigh. you watch as he tilts his head back to blink away incoming tears.

you feel that nasty feeling sitting deep in your gut because you know. you know these arguments aren't sustainable for a healthy relationship. you've ranted to your friends one too many times and went to bed crying one too many times.

your tears won't stop falling, and you're sure beomgyu can hear your quiet hiccups—nonetheless, he doesn’t move an inch.

"let's just go to bed," beomgyu mumbles, but you shake your head even though he's not looking in your direction.

"no, gyu, we need—we need to talk about this." you sound desperate, voice watery from your hot tears as you take a few steps closer to him.

"there's nothing to talk about. you look happier with yeonjun. i should just—i should just leave and—"

"will you stop for once, beomgyu? just stop, please." you reach up to touch his arm and that's when you see the steady stream of tears leaving his own eyes.

your heart shatters into a million pieces. this is the man you love, the man you're in love with, and you have no idea what's going through his head. your hand trails down his arm to find his shaky hand, interlacing your fingers together.

he doesn't pull away.

"i—i don't know what i can say right now to convince you that you are the only one i have eyes for. the only one i want to see every day. the only one i want to kiss and hug and touch and love," you begin softly, looking up at beomgyu who has his eyes squeezed shut. ���but it’s the truth, gyu. i won’t let you leave after something so trivial.”

beomgyu’s tears pick up at the words, shaking his head as you speak. his eyes are full of guilt and regret as steps a little closer to you, squeezing your hand like it’s his lifeline. 

"i'm sorry. i’m sorry for calling you stupid. i’m so sorry," his eyes are rimmed red and your heart breaks at the sight. "i just—fuck y/n... i'm terrified of losing you. i just get so insecure when i see you have more fun with someone else and i can just picture you leaving me and it drives me fucking insane."

you nod slowly, acknowledging his feelings and taking a moment to actually hear him. amidst all the anger and insecurities, nothing but fondness sits in your heart when you look up at your boyfriend's face. he's struggling with his own battles, and all you can do is be there for him.

"we... we can work through this, gyu. i don't want anybody else, but you. i only need you."  your tears don't stop as you pull him closer, his body melting into yours as he cries into your hair.

"i don't know, gyu. maybe we can try therapy, if that's something you'd like. we'll go together, okay? we'll find a way," you speak into his warm chest and you feel him nod and let go of your hand briefly to wrap his arms around your waist. his body melts into yours as burying his face into your neck, inhaling the scent of your body wash.

"yeah, i'd like that," he replies and you let out a relieved breath of laughter.

"i love you. i’ll remind you every single day if that’s what you need," you mumble, a hand coming up to draw patterns on his chest as you guys rock side to side.

"i know. i'm sorry," beomgyu whispers back, kissing your neck softly. "i love you. so, so much."

reblogs are highly cherished! ★

masterlist

©️BEOM-PYU

[casualaruanienjoyer]

Ok this is a bit crazy BUT I was listening to "Before Lights out" which is one of my favorite AOT tracks. I really like this part:

All of my kingdom

For your return

I'd let it all burn!

I'd let it all burn!

Dear departed

I'll cry for you in a dream

Now I must rise to be queen

Be worthy!

Be worthy!

And I asume it's refering to Historia addressing Ymir (Correct me if I'm wrong).

But as I was packing orders tonight and I listened to it, I imagined a scenario in which Annie and Historia's characters are swapped, in which Historia is Marleyan and Annie is Paradisian.

This kinda also ties in with this headcanon where Annie is part of EMA with Eren and Mikasa since they were kids! And Annie befriended them when the two stopped Mr Leonhart from abusing Annie on the street one day.

Annie, just like in canon, is adopted by Mr Leonhart and trained up to become part of the military and basically enhance their family's status within the walls. She's also the main source of income in the house, which means she misses out on a lot of childhood activies until Eren and Mikasa start helping her escape the house from time to time and hang out!

Annie is an orphan, however later on we find out that she was actually the heir to the throne and she had been abandoned because she (let's say?) was kidnapped as a baby. The kidnapper would have used her for ransom, but for whatever reason (maybe remorse?) lost confidence and just abandoned the baby somewhere at the outskirts of the city. (Imagine if this would have been Kenny trying to get some sort of negotiation with the royal family).

In this universe Annie does not have the female titan, and instead maybe it would be Historia who has it. I mentioned Armin having it before, but it would also be interesting if there were 3 warriors+ Armin coming to Paradis, with Armin not having a titan, but being the brain of the operation. Expert in cartography, tactics, strategy etc. Coordinating everyone akin to a musical conductor. I know it would mess with the trio balance, but.... I like the Marleyan Armin + Paradisian Annie dynamic 🙏 so bare with me.

It would be so cool if Historia, the moment she arrived with Berthold, Armin and Reiner to Paradis, would have changed her name and personality to Krista Lenz. Maybe it's a coping mechanism due to trauma, kind of like Reiner's, but I like to think that she may have wanted to escape the life of Liberio and just start a new life somewhere else, no matter how short it would be.

Maybe her dad is just as much of an asshole/important person in Liberio. Maybe he's got lots of money for an Eldian, which gives their family a better standing. But Historia hates the way he looks down on other, less fortunate Eldians. He'd probably be friends with the Tybur family even?

Maybe there was no need for Historia to join the warrior program, other than to prove to herself that she can do things independently from her dad and her priviledged life.

Why not leave Liberio altogether instead? She probably has a fantasy of Paradis having no Eldian prosecution, the same way that Armin and Eren had a dream of peace outside the walls in canon. Maybe she thought that it was indeed, a paradise.

Also Historia, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt could make a cool team, especially maybe with Reiner always trying to look very strong in front of her and Historia being able to hold on her own, without his help. Bertholdt would pat Reiner on the back whenever he'd fail to impress her. Historia and Armin would be very close and chatty, since she feels comfortable around Armin, which makes Reiner very jealous.

As a side note, Yumihisu still happens, but the story could be that Ymir knows that Historia is hiding her real identity. Maybe Ymir actually remembers seeing the warriors as a titan outside the walls? Or maybe it was getting close to Historia that made her realize that she is also Marleyan. (Little slip ups in their conversations)

Ahh sorry I'm not coherent, not the best at pulling multiple strings together buuuut...

Where I want to go with this is, Aruani slowly happens over time, from Cadet to even later than canon, since when the female titan was captured, it was actually Historia, not Armin. At this point, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt have to continue even after losing Historia to the crystal.

It becomes harder and harder for Armin to hide the secret they have as he opens up to Annie about more of his life. He almost tells her, until the night he finds out that Annie is the heir to the throne. What can Armin even do in this scenario? Tell her what?

And then to return to the lyrics from "Before Lights out", they could be Annie singing about Armin, who, after being caught together with Bertholdt and Reiner, runs away, leaving Annie's feelings behind, uncertain.

I imagine Annie, if she accepts her new role as a monarch, would be a lot more of an iron fist leader, absolutely no bullshit. She holds a bit of a grudge against Armin for leaving her behind, after opening up to him about her childhood. After being closer to him than anyone else before.

She WOULD literally burn down the whole kingdom to find him, haha.

But yeah, please tell me if this is super stupid, I wanted to get this out of my head since I've been daydreaming about it for a week now. Thanks for reading and I'd love to see what you guys think too! If you have ideas, drop them below!

[rory-multifandom-mess]

Headcanons about Khan?

I just think he's neat-

OH BOY DO I HAVE SO MANY FOR YOU. I'm so glad you asked me about one of the characters I'm genuinely so autism about you have NO IDEA

Khan Doorman Headcanons

Bro does not sleep

Used to be more of a fighter before Nori’s death, hense his knowledge of what to do immediately after J blew up the landing pod (this actually has evidence to back it up now let’s gooo)

His obsession with doors is a coping mechanism

The sort of "confidence" he shows around other worker drones is a front he puts up. The worker drones see him as an idol since he's the guy who led them to safety; he can't show weakness

He loves Uzi a lot actually, he's just really shit at showing it

That "how to parent" guide is actually really helpful

Rarely listens to music, but when he does, it's either blues or rock and there is no in between

His psyche is so fucked up and traumatized that he has a permanent stress line under either eye (And, as of episode 7, his stress has doubled tenfold due to his missing daughter and everything with the Dissassembly Drones that he has two stress lines under each eye)

Cannot flirt worth his life, he has no idea how or why Nori fell in love with him but he's glad she did. Also yes, she did most of the flirting, and yes, he would absolutely melt. I'm not immune to this representation of their relationship and you aren't either

Originally kept all of Nori's kooky crazy insane stuff to cling to the memory of her, but recently realized she was right about everything going on and looked at them again to see if there was further instructions on what to do against whatever threats were coming. He just wishes he could apologize for not believing her.

Probably has PTSD

Was absolutely stressing and panicking when Uzi dissapeared, because the last time he saw her she was with N and V and they were leaving the Doorman hab in a rush after Doll came by and literally threw him into a wall, and she also left in a rush, and he remembers her from prom and the way she and Uzi fought and

Probably has some scars from the past. Nori liked to trace them with the tips of her fingers

He added the wrinkles on his forehead because he thought it would make him more intimidating

He and Ron are old friends and one of the only drones he'll open up to

After Nori's death - and after he'd completed the doors to keep them safe - he retreated into his hab for a solid 2 months and got Ron to babysit Uzi, who was still just a pill baby

He was also friends with Doll's parents and got along with them well, though it was rocky with Yeva at first since she was slightly protective over Nori

When Nori died, he relied on Yeva and Misha and they would grieve together (i headcanon that Nori and Yeva are sisters.) And when those two died? ...Yeah, you can imagine he wasn't okay.

After Yeva and Misha's deaths came another solid month of Khan retreating into his room, which only made his neglect toward Uzi worse

Usually really smart. He acts stupid on purpose as a coping mechanism. And it also kind of has to do with the, y'know. Sleep deprivation

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! HOPE YOU ENJOY!! Also sorry a lot of these are Khori, I think about them a lot

[blackphanto]

The Anti-Blitzø party

Sorry for being absent for so long, p.s.: this is my take from this party, feel free to share yours

The episode: Apology Tour meets its climax when Stolas arrives at the Anti-Blitzø party Verosika invited him this year for being 'his freshest ex'. And like Stolas points out at all these demons chose to spend the one night of the year, where demons can come up freely on earth, celebrating mutual pettiness, which isn't exactly the case. Verosika claims she's hosting these parties to help those who got screwed over by Blitzø cope. She even admits to him that helping the others makes her feel less shitty for being mad at him.

This isn't inherently bad, she has the right idea, but is executing it wrong.

On one hand this party could be helping by allowing demons to let out their pain in whatever way they want; venting, drinking, rage, singing, random hookups, ... It's also a great party to meet up with new demons. After all "What did Blitzø do to you?", is a good conversation starter by the look of it.

However, it's not helpful when everything is just about hating and shitting on Blitzø. It creates a horrible obsession and antagonizes him. Not everyone there is 'healing' or moving on, they're holding their grudge against him and it becomes unhealthy. And I know that they're from hell so they don't know a healthier lifestyle, but that's not really an excuse.

Stolas & Verosika

This section is dedicated to my analysis on these 2, especially Verosika

Stolas gets uncomfortable at this party real, but is welcomed by a happy drunken Verosika, who tries to get him to open up and feel comfortable by saying he's among friends and that they all know his pain. Do they really tho? And he does! His song 'All 2 U' is a rock ballad that expresses how he feels about his whole situationship with Blitzø: "I don't think you meant to hurt me, cos I don't think it meant a thing at all to you" - he doesn't think Blitzø felt anything for him, might even think he didn't enjoy the sex or any of their other interaction. "But maybe it's all on me for missing every sign and every glance and every turn" - Stolas tries to put the blame on himself, which is something we often do when we love someone who did us wrong. We try to blame their bad behavior for something we did, even though we shouldn't feel responsible for their bad doing. "All these what if, what if, ..., makes me burn ❤️‍🔥!" - Stolas wants to blame himself, but it hurts. Self-blame is a coping mechanism that often comes from a childhood trauma and he is expressing the consequences of it, the overwhelming pain and intrusive emotions. And like he said to Blitzø this morning: "Seeing you is hard right now!"

In a way you could say that Verosika was helping him by putting the blame on Blitz, she didn't want Stolas to hurt himself over him: "No, no, no, he's a motherfucker!". Even in her own song she expresses what she truly feels over Blitzø, "Ever since you went away, I've been haunted... I always get whatever I want and I wanted you" - so there was in fact a point where Verosika loved him and we know it, it's the whole reason why he dumped her like that. And even after that break up she still wanted him, why? Because like she said she was haunted, she missed him and wanted something we all want when a person screwed us over, closure. Yet, she never got it which left her feeling upset and not knowing what to do about it:"I thought I could stomp you out, like a fire, like a flame. It's done now, but I'm covered in ashes and I still feel the same!" - she resulted in unhealthy coping mechanisms, like fighting Blitzø every time they crossed paths (Spring Broken & Ozzie), but it's not helping her heal her wounds. She even said: "The worst part is; you still make me feel like a bad person for being angry at you now." One could say that this is what inspired her to host these parties, the realization that she's not the only one dealing with these emotions, that she's not alone. There are other demons like her who have been wronged by Blitzø and never got closure. "Baby I'll get over it, I got over you..." - I think this is the message that she wants to send to everyone at this party: you might not get over the situation that fast, but you're definitely getting over him! Verosika herself got over Blitzø but her obsession comes from never getting over her relationship with him, never finding closure and that is definitely changing.

Speaking of the imp, Verosika and him having this very much needed conversation was good for either of them. He's realizing how shitty of a demon he was to others and wants to change, while she's forgiving and encouraging him in his new journey. I know I've been kind of shit talking Blitzø in this entire post, but he's also a victim of himself. So, please cut him some slack.

Don't know any other way of ending this post, but yeah thank you for reading it all the way through.

[lynzishell]

The Sims is love. List 5 facts about a favorite sim couple of yours, and why you love them so much. Then pass this on to 5 others, whose sim couple(s) you also love. 💘💕 :D

Thank you thank you @sirianasims as well as @mdshh and @elderwisp for sending me this ask!! (I'm hoarding the other two in case I get time to do more, but also tagging you here in case I don't aksdljflkd) ❤️❤️

I chose Phoenix and Dawn because I miss them dearly right now, but also...

💙TODAY IS THEIR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! I mean, in the story they got together in August like seven years ago, but this scene was posted one year ago today! I can't believe it! 🥹

💙My favorite thing about these two is how incredibly supportive they are of each other. My favorite example of this is in this scene where Phoenix takes Dawn to the bench where he used to talk to his mom. He said it was the best way he could think of to introduce them, and Dawn didn’t even hesitate, just jumped in and started talking as if his mom was really there, and I know it meant so much to him. The other would be this scene where Dawn expresses that she wants to leave her job and stay home with Aspen. Phoenix wasn’t fond of this idea. It puts a lot of pressure on him financially, and honestly, he would’ve loved to be the one to stay home with her. He probably could’ve plead his case to do so, but instead of pushing back he said, “how do we make this work?” and they figured it out.

💙They encourage each other to remain individuals. It’s difficult in this stage of life, between careers and marriage and parenting, to maintain a sense of self. One thing they always encourage each other to do is to pursue their own interests. In this scene we see Phoenix pushing Dawn to go have a self-care day to destress and indulge her interest in yoga and meditation. It’s been more difficult for Phoenix lately since his career is becoming more demanding, but he does still make time to run every morning before everyone wakes up.

💙They’re dreamers. One of the things they love most is talking about their plans and dreams for the future. Dawn has always been a very future-focused person. It’s a coping mechanism that keeps her distracted from her past, but it also allows her to maintain her optimistic nature, and it’s rubbed off on Phoenix.

💙They rarely fight. In most situations, they’re excellent at communicating and working through things. It’s rare they can’t find a middle ground. However, we recently saw a situation where Dawn let unresolved issues from her past lead her to break Phoenix’s trust, and that led to their biggest fight ever. When we last left them, they were doing okay, but I think it would be unrealistic to say that everything is suddenly fine now. There is some work to be done for Dawn to face her past and earn that trust back. More on that when we return to them in Part 5.  

[dr-spectre]

hello!

I've seen your hypnoshades callie stuff alot on my feed, and I just kinda had a question for ya.

if the hypnoshades were, indeed, a metaphor for drug abuse by celebrities...would that not make Octavio an enabler, as he allowed Callie to utilise the hypnoshades (and most likely aided in the creation of them) ??

(this does not make Octavio a totally irredeemable bad person, at least not in my opinion. Perhaps it's the only way he knows that he can help Callie, maybe . It's just something that I've noticed that's never really been brought up in the other stuff that you've written).

Okay.... here's the thing about the hypnoshades. it's pretty obvious that Splatoon 2 in someway was rushed and that includes the story mode. It came out 2 years after Splatoon 1 and it launched with not a lot of content. Unlike something like Octo Expansion or ROTM where there is lots of explanations on things and how things work, in Splatoon 2 there isn't that and it's incredibly rushed. We don't fully know the circumstances of what happened to Callie and how Octavio gave her the shades, all we know is that Callie was like "ok fine I'll hear you out" and joined the Octarians cause of reasons I've said a trillion times lmao.

Octavio for sure did some bad shit let's not kid ourselves. He is the antagonist and he's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. In some way yeah he enabled Callie to use the shades and therefore she ended up getting addicted to them. Her rematch dialogue in other languages shows that Callie is attached to the shades and is a bad coping mechanism for her because well... She's still doing the acting gig and it's still hurting her.

Heck even Marie in the Russian translation says "why are you so attached to those stupid glasses? Callie, those glasses are only getting in your way!"

However this addiction is actually kinda treated like a joke and makes Callie seem more like an idiot and that.... pisses me the fuck off to no end. I get that Splatoon is silly but this is just near character assassination to me tbh.... Especially how the community treated her in that time.... But i digress.

I still don't think that Octavio is some vile monster that abused Callie in some way shape or form. He treated her as best as he could in that scenario, he didn't restrain her, he didn't force her into anything. He let her decorate bases and do other things because it helped boost the morale of the Octarians, hell the Octarians got inspired by her and made music with her vocals and stuff like that.

I truly believe that the hypnoshades are just that, hypnosis shades. Octavio probably made them for Callie so that she's less likely to just suddenly run off, which is still fucking bad mind you. Callie was willing to stay and yet Octavio was like "just in case....." But here's the thing also, hypnosis isn't mind control and you can't brainwash people with them. The term "brainwashing" is only found in the English translation of the Japanese script and so far we don't have retranslation of the original script and I'm not gonna fully trust the English translation. As a Sonic the Hedgehog fan, i know that some English translations can fuck up important details and completely change the tone of the story so easily lol.

Octavio is more of a caring person than he is not. He has been shown that he does care for troops but he's just a little bossy towards them and he has to be because his race is on the brink of collapse. He has to make these quick and bad decisions to save his people. When his people got kidnapped by Mr. Grizz, he immediately went looking for them and wanted to get revenge. And when he finds out Mr. Grizz did it, he drops his hatred for the New Squidbeak Splatoon and helps them out. His people are his top priority.

Hell if you want the ultimate proof that Octavio isn't the worst person in the world, Callie went with him to the Low Water Party after Octo Expansion, Octavio would not bring a hypnotized Callie that was missing during the events of Splatoon 2 to a fucking rave party, everyone would get his ass lol. So yeah, a Callie not under the influence of any shades went "yeah I'll rave with you!!!!"

She even smiled when Octavio came down to rescue Neo Agent 3 when everyone else was shocked, if that doesn't scream that they are good terms then i don't know what will.

Sorry if this seemed very rambly, when people talk about Hypno/ Octo Callie in any form i lock THE FUCK IN lol!

[asteroiidx]

> made in mspaint

HEYYYYY!! \(>0<)/

it's been a hot while since i've posted about sans again wahah.. BUT I'M NOT OUT OF THE FANDOM! that's not what's goin on here no siree!! (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠) but i dunno, i kinda just wanna drop something here.. maybe some people would end up relating to it, but who knows!

when i started posting about sans here, i was in a seriously bad place. i'm not gonna disclose on it, but that's kind of how i got back into falling for the goofy skeleton man!!

this was probably my lowest point in life, and it severely affected the way i performed in school and just my overall health. it started off with a love for rottmnt (you'd see it if you scroll long enough), then i went through old fanfics that i used to read in the past- and gosh did i get the biggest wave of euphoria in my life.

i started reading through whatever fics i could find- and i've come across new ones... and cringe ones.. and i just kept reading and reading (up until really concerning hours at night). i ended up scrolling through the fanart, the self shipping, and all of that 2016 throwback jazz. i guess it all made me feel like i'm a cringey 10 year old again.

and that's how i ended up just drawing- well, selfship. it was comforting and i would draw aster and sans together whenever i felt like shit. it made me feel like i could just live a little longer to feel this happy about drawing some fictional characters. it was my coping mechanism

the longer i posted, the more i realized that there were people like me too! and it made me feel happy that you guys interacted with me and enjoyed my art <3 so i appreciate you all for sticking around (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

but i have to say that, i was stuck in a daydream bubble that was really pulling me back from accepting my reality. i wanted to get better, to feel better without having to sacrifice so much of my life outside of undertale. so.. that's what i did! that's what the lack of posts kind of was- and i'm really sorry for popping up and disappearing like that!

i'm glad to say that i'm doing much better than i was before! so yay, happy times! 🎉 i'm currently in university, something I didn't think i'd be able to make it to.. but i'm here now!

i do miss drawing sans, and i do miss interacting with all of you :')

i loved and still love aster and sans- in fact, i still draw them!but i also have other interests too! (ahem.. cod and my ocs..)

i think that's all i wanted to say for now... if you guys even read this- thank you! :3

and if you've been feeling similar to how i felt in the past, i want you to know that it gets better and it will get better <3