#I'm real happy with how a lot of them turned out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daylightmidnights · 1 day ago

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It's been ages since this was posted and I got time to read it today. Finally!

I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that they're married now. My babies!!!! I love them so much. Kingrry has turned into such a pookie bear for her I can't help but love him. Can I have him please? I need someone who'd fight everyone for me like he did for his Queen 🥺

Those people are so disgusting and real pos. The audacity of Lord Mayor, Mrs Mable and the doctor!!! They all should rot in hell. And they don't even have any respect for harry as their king and what he wishes. Fuck all of them. Especially Mrs Mable because why the fuck would you want your daughter to be a mistress and then you are offended when he calls her ugly? That bothers you? And you're fine with using your daughter as your golden ticket to secure a spot at the palace? Disgusting!! I kinda feel bad for Pearl because that girl is also a victim of the system. Yn is 20 so I'm guessing Pearl is younger than her. That girl's brain is not fully developed yet and she's being fed all this bs by her mother and the people around her and the society. Just a horrible time for women to live in. That being said, i absolutely loved the way harry insulted her looks. I lost it at the bug comparison. Especially loved when yn said "I heard her tell this one..." Imagine being referred to as this one! Poor pearl, but deserved 😂

I have to mention the words you used tho. Bedswerver, i never heard of it. Gutter-waif, I don't even no what that means. There's so many words you use that are so fascinating. Must take so much time researching for all that. Thanks for doing that.

Love her friendship with Phoebe so much. She even kisses her when tucking her in? That's so so sweet it made me emotional. I love them. Everyone deserves a friend like Phoebe. When yn said "I'm not queen yet" and Phoebe replied "You are to me" aahhhhhh i love her so much. Supportive bestie!!!!

And I was so glad when the new dressmaker treated yn so nicely and with respect. And I found this hilarious for some reason "She wasn't sure if he'd said leave this dress to me, or leave the stress to me…" my sleepy confused queen.

Lastly their wedding was beautiful. I know no one in attendance was actually interested or happy but it was still beautiful solely because harry was super happy and excited for her to be his wife. He's just so in love. He even kissed her properly. I love him more than i hated him in the beginning. That says a lot about how the story has progressed and how well you wrote him.

This chapter was so eventful and action packed. A rollercoaster really. Made me angry on so many instances but also soothed me with the little bit of wholesomeness in between. You did so good wrapping it up nicely and leaving the spicy part to the next chapter.

I just cannot thank you enough for this story. You don't understand how much this means to me. It has become my favourite and i look forward to it so impatiently. I appreciate you for taking your time researching for this and making time out of your home life and busy patreon schedule to write this for free. Just know that you make me and many of us happy and we are so thankful to you for everything you put out on here. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you for pulling this story off so perfectly. Can't wait for the next chapter ❤️

[5] It's Good to Be King | mean king!harry

MAIN MASTERLIST | It's Good to Be King Masterlist

Series Summary: Harry, a handsome, but ill-mannered new king, bound by tradition, must select a queen, and against all expectations, he chooses Y/n, a street beggar. Now, Y/n finds herself caught between the gilded cage of royalty and the cold, harsh simplicity of her past, navigating a court shocked by her presence and a king who revels in the scandal of it all.

Note: Harry is mean/uncouth in this, though things do get better. He doesn't treat anyone around him with much respect at all. Expect to not like him much at first. Also, this is set in the 1800s England, and while not completely historically accurate, I did my best to keep it as accurate as possible.

Ch. 5 Word Count: 8,476

Ch. 5 Warning: Discrimination, bullying, slight angst and miscommunication, jealousy, hurt feelings, wedding scene -> smut will be in ch. 6, for those anticipating it

. .

The Duke remained quiet and sat in the comfortable feather-down cushioned chair near the fire as he watched Harry and Virgil go back and forth. He'd been meant to mediate the discussion, but Harry overrode that decision and told him to sit before he was removed from the castle. The king didn't need someone there to arbitrate anything. Harry would be the one with the final say, no matter what the Duke's opinion.

It started, on the surface, amicably. But quickly spiraled when Virgil told him he'd regret his choices as king (stripping the Lord Mayor of his title for one, and marrying Y/n for another). Harry'd expected to hear the Lord Mayor bemoan his decisions again. It was no surprise to him, but it was quite galling to listen once again to the same justifications.

Harry rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "And I thought you came here to accuse me of theft. You are a sad, tiresome man, Virgil. I'm bored listening to this drivel."

Niall watched from the door, letting his eyes rove the three gentlemen slowly. He was only there to protect Harry, should he have needed to. But more than that, he found their little tiff to be quite amusing, though he'd never let on to it.

The Lord Mayor continued, dismissing Harry's comments. "And furthermore, it's clear to everyone that you do not have Thornekeep's best interest in mind. Marrying a gutter-waif? Setting her up in the castle like she's been bred for the crown? Why… It's preposterous!"

Harry bristled at gutter-waif, but decided to hold his tongue (and his anger) in front of the Duke. "Bred for the crown? What are you? A husbandry worker now? You breed animals and ready them for royalty?"

A quiet breath fell from the Duke as he turned his head away from the pair arguing. Even he was amused.

A sputtered noise of disbelief fell from the Lord Mayor as he shook his head. "Quite vulgar! Once again!"

The king laughed sardonically and stepped around the edge of the table, glancing at Niall as he ticked his fingers, tapping his nails together slowly. "Are we done here?"

"Before we make our leave, I want to discuss the young woman again. Pearl."

"And what would you like to tell me about the young woman with whom you are infatuated?"

"Your Highness! I am not infatuated!" Virgil pushed himself up from the chair and stepped near to Harry, but not close enough that the king could get his hands on him. "I'm trying to offer you a better choice of wife. Pearl will not disappoint you. She is happy to serve you as a good wife and queen should, and she learns quickly. She will see to it that you are well taken care of."

"I do not want Pearl. I've already made my choice. If you want her so badly, you can have her. Your wife seems quite meek. She wouldn't mind you taking a lover, I'm sure. Most men of your ilk do."

Virgil sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring how Harry had once again suggested that he wanted Pearl for himself. "My Lord, we can attest to and confirm that Pearl is a virgin, which is required of the queen consort. I have my doubts that Y/n is pure and virginal."

Harry laughed darkly, without a single drop of humor. "I suggest you make your leave before I become violent with you. My future wife is not up for discussion. I will not have you speak her name again."

"Then a mistress! Pearl would make a lovely mistress for you. She's fine to take on the role as long as you keep her and take care of her and her family in return."

Clenching his jaw, he shook his head and looked at the Duke. "Is he deaf? Dumb? Were you able to understand my orders just now, or am I the mad one here?"

"My Lord, I understood well your desires," the Duke said, not daring to look the Lord Mayor in the eye as he sided with the king.

"You cannot expect to be satisfied with just one woman. Surely you have plans in place to accommodate a mistress, if you haven't already," the Lord Mayor added.

Harry sighed and looked toward Niall again before stepping closer to the old man. "I think I can infer what's going on here. You and Mrs. Mable were quite close at one time, weren't you? The rumors were true then. She was your house-fed lamb, and you're a bedswerver. Your poor wife. Is Mrs. Mable threatening to let the cat out of the bag if you don't secure her virgin daughter a place in the castle?"

Virgil's mouth dropped open as his eyes nearly bulged from his head. "I… Why that's not even—"

The king moved closer, and the old man backed up to keep his distance. "That is what this is all about, isn't it? Most would wonder if Pearl was your daughter and not Mr. Mable's, but I'm convinced you're all dried up, impotent. And you, being like every other fleece-monger in Thornekeep, took Mrs. Mable as your secret, fancy piece."

"This is outrageous! I take umbrage at your accusations!"

Calmly, Harry looked at the Duke with a pleased grin. "Our old billygoat here takes umbrage. What do you say to that, Duke?"

Duke Hughes looked from the King to the Lord Mayor and stood up from his seat. "I say that it's time for us to make our leave."

"Now that is a smart answer. You could learn a lot from the Duke, Virgil."

"Just one meeting with Pearl, my Lord. She is ready to serve and would make a beautiful Queen, if not a kept mistress…"

"I said, get out! I'm quite finished with you, worm. Niall, remove him from the lounge…"

The old man raised his hands in surrender as Niall stepped forward. "We're leaving. No need for intervention. But please, consider meeting with the girl once. You will not be disappointed."

The dress was exquisite. Y/n glanced at Phoebe, who had covered her mouth with her hands after seeing all the pieces put together. She grinned at her friend and looked back at her reflection and couldn't help but focus on the young woman who Mrs. Mable had brought along for the final fitting. She had not been introduced to her, but Y/n could see that the girl was dissatisfied and annoyed.

"It's a shame this wedding and everything to do with the king's selection was rushed," the dressmaker said as she pulled at the fabric and tightened the bust, making Y/n gasp.

"Mama… When can I meet King Styles? I'm bored, and the stench in here is unbearable."

The young woman looked directly at Y/n as she mentioned the stench but Y/n was more worried about the girl's request to see the king. She'd become accustomed to insinuitive remarks and had learned to brush them off. But she did not like the idea of this pretty, young, blonde asking about her husband-to-be.

"Soon. He's been summoned. I imagine he'll be coming in any minute."

Y/n quickly grabbed her skirts and lifted them as she stepped down from the platform and looked at Phoebe. "He can't come in here! I'm in my bridal gown. It's bad luck—"

"It won't matter anyway. There's nothing customary about any of this. No one is so deceived as to think you're a virgin anyway…"

"It's so vulgar to think of it!" The pretty blonde said as she stood up and stepped in front of the mirror, smoothing out the silk panel in her dress. "The king deserves purity and beauty above all."

"Who is this? Why is she here? What business has she with the king?" Y/n pointed at the blonde as she stepped in behind her.

"There's the stench," Pearl said as she turned to look at Y/n, a smug expression drawn on her face.

Just then, the door opened and Harry barreled in with Niall and his assistant Fred trailing behind him. "Y/n… Is—what is this?"

He looked at Pearl, her mother, and the other women in the room, his brows pinched together dubiously. Y/n tried to hide the fabric of her skirts and duck behind a wooden table, but it had all been too late. He'd seen her gown.

"This is my dress fitting. You're not supposed to see me like this!" Y/n was almost in tears, and she knew it was a trivial thing to be so worked up over, but she had envisioned the surprised look on his face when she walked down the aisle toward the altar. She'd been so excited for that moment, and now that would be taken from her. He'd already seen her beautiful dress and it would no longer be a surprise.

Harry let his eyes sweep over her gown and back up to her face. "I was told that I was needed urgently. Who sent for me?"

The room fell quiet as Y/n narrowed her eyes at Mrs. Mable and then Pearl. "They did." She pointed. "I heard her tell this one that you'd been summoned but I did not call for you."

Harry could see the dismay on her face. To him, it was all the same. It didn't matter if he saw the dress now or on the day of their ceremony. But it was clear that it meant a lot more to Y/n and so for that he was livid.

"You're the dressmaker. Mrs. Mable…" Harry said and then he set his eyes on the pretty young blonde who was blushing softly and lowering her gaze in respect. "And you must be Pearl. Virgil has spoken highly of you, but unfortunately, you're wasting your time here."

Mrs. Mable rushed toward Harry and pointed at her daughter. "She is ready, Your Highness. She's been trained for this and she will do anything you ask of her. Give her a chance. You may take her into your chambers if you'd like to make a more informed choice."

Harry sniffed and looked at Y/n before he shot a look of disdain at Mrs. Mable. "Are you dull in the head? Your conniving with the Lord Mayor is pathetic. I know what you two have done and I care not if you expose him and yourself for the bedswervers you are. But do not pull my bride-to-be into this ratbag scheme."

"Is she not more lovely, not more fit to your tastes and to the kingdom's? You will require a virgin—"

"Pish! You and Virgil seem to think I hold virgins in high regard when that is the least of my concerns. Take her away. I don't wish to look at your daughter or to have her near Y/n. I can tell by just a glance that she's jealous."

Pearl let out a frustrated laugh. "I would never be jealous of her! She's akin to the filthy swine at the entry of the rookeries from where she came!"

Harry calmly stepped in front of the blonde, a rage boiling beneath the surface that he had to tame. She had to crane her neck back to look up at him. "I pity people like you," he said in a dark, spiteful tone. "Wrapped up in silk with pink lace bows and a turned-up nose. You haven't a single original thought in that tiny brain of yours and that's the most unattractive thing about you. Moreover, I can't find a solitary redeeming quality that you possess. I do not find you to be pretty. On the contrary… Your face is too wide and pasty, your wrists like a hollowed sprig, and your eyes are set too close, reminiscent of those fat bugs that like to feed off dung in the farmyards. I would never take you as my wife, much less a mistress. You are no better than anyone in this room, and you never will be."

Pearl stepped back and turned her face downward as tears threatened to burst from her eyes. Y/n felt a spike of satisfaction course up the knobs of her spine. She had been blind sided by their little trick to get the king to walk into her room for her fitting, so to hear Harry speak his mind to the young girl in that way had her holding her head a little higher, despite the devastation she felt at him seeing her dress before he was meant to.

"You bootjack! Do not speak to my daughter that way!" Mrs. Mable wrapped her arms around Pearl protectively.

Harry laughed. "Brave soul you are to mock the king and your queen-to-be. What did you expect of this disgraceful, desperate exhibit? That I'd look at her…" He gestured toward Pearl, who still had her face downcast. "And find myself smitten by her pastel garments and curled locks? She is nothing more than the dressmaker's daughter. She does not interest me in the least."

Mrs. Mable scoffed and looked at Y/n, Phoebe next to her, holding her arm. "She's a regular street beggar turned flag-hopper. Who knows how many men she's done the business with and if you want to marry into that kind of rubbish, then you dishonor your father's legacy. You are an embarrassment to the kingdom."

Letting his eyes flicker over his bride-to-be, he clenched his jaw. "If you were a man I'd have you tossed from the window down to your painful demise for speaking that way about her. Does she look rubbish to you? And who do you see standing before you as King? Not my father. He's dead, buried in the ground where he belongs."

One of the seamstresses gasped and turned away quickly in surprise at Harry's rough words for the beloved, deceased King Augustus. He shook his head and pointed toward the door. "Niall, take Mrs. Mable and her daughter down to the study and wait with them until I arrive. The rest of you are dismissed. Phoebe, you may stay with Y/n and help her out of this dress."

Niall motioned to the pair and Mrs. Mable scowled at the king on her way out of the room. Pearl kept her head down in shame with cheeks wetted by tears. Y/n watched with cautious delight, her eyes shifting from Mrs. Mable and Pearl, and then the workers as they all filed out of the Rose Room.

Then, before she even realized he'd made his way to her side, she felt his hand wrap around hers, and she turned to look up at him. "We'll have a new dress made for you. A better one. You will never have to see Mrs. Mable and her insufferable, hideous daughter ever again." He thumbed at her cheek as she nodded, a small smile working up on her lips.

"But the wedding is in two days. I don't know that that's possible. There is no better dressmaker in the kingdom than Mrs. Mable."

"I will find you a better dressmaker even if I have to bring them in from another province. Fred," Harry said, his sight still on his bride-to-be, "go find Luther and have him send for that Parisian man in Bethel. Find out who he uses and have them brought here at any cost."

The door closed behind Fred, and Phoebe stood to the side, watching as Harry and Y/n stared at one another. "You are not upset by them, are you?"

She blinked and looked toward the door. "I'm unsure how I feel. I found Pearl to be very pretty, and I imagined you would like the looks of her." She turned her gaze back to him. "Is it true you find her to be hideous?"

Harry continued running his thumb along her cheek as he lifted his other hand to the opposite side of her face. "Compared to you? She's repulsive and boring."

"But you wouldn't even take her as your mistress?"

"I won't be taking a mistress."

Y/n shook her head. "Isn't it customary for the king to have mistresses to keep him satisfied? What if I cannot make you happy?"

"Do not worry about that, little mouse. Now, I need to go and sort out the hatchet-faced sows who await me."

She giggled quietly as he stepped away from her, a cheeky grin on his face.

The moment he closed the door, Phoebe stepped in behind her and began helping her untie the corset. "She's not pretty. Not at all."

"Who? Pearl? I believe she was very pretty."

"Her attitude was ugly. I can't believe he compared her to a dung bug!"

The girls laughed together. "I wonder what he's going to say to them in his study."

"He's already love-stricken. It's so romantic," Phoebe said as she laid the corset down on the dressing table.

"Love-stricken? I don't believe so."

"Oh, but he is. I have a secret. Something I've wanted to say but didn't know if I should… But now I can't hold it in any longer…"

Y/n looked at Phoebe. "Well, what is it?"

"He's telling you the truth that he doesn't want a lover. I overheard him with his assistant and the castle steward telling them to clear the room that was meant to be kept for a mistress, but he didn't want it. He had changed his mind. Mr. Fred told him to leave it just in case, but the King insisted they give the room another use. He said it was no longer necessary, and I think it's because he can't imagine having anyone but you."

Y/n smiled and looked toward the window as her heart thumped in her chest. It was becoming quite common for her heart to patter harder every time she thought about Harry. He made her skin heat and her fingertips tingle. And she even indulged in touching herself as she imagined his eyes and his lips and his fingers… She knew her feelings about him were different than anything she'd felt before.

She had never belonged anywhere before, begging in alleyways, sleeping on the floor in her family's cramped tenement, ignored by carriages that splashed muddy water on her skirts. And now, she stood in there in castle with a little more meat on her bones and a relaxed smile on her face. The king had not only chosen her but defended her with the kind of fury only true feelings could ignite. Her feelings of being an impostor still bubbled to the surface at times, but she couldn't deny that Harry soothed the rising simmer with each passing day.

When the new dressmaker, Eugène Louise Lafitte, arrived the following evening, he had brought with him a whole caravan of helpers. Three covered carts filled with dresses, designs, supplies, and materials; two hairdressers, three seamstresses, a milliner, and two of his own assistants; as well as all of his personal belongings, as he was going to replace Mrs. Mable as the official royal dressmaker.

Y/n found the whole ordeal to be chaotic, but if she insisted on a new gown (she didn't really), then this was the only way. Eugène had set up everything in the Rose Room, and he began to measure and fit her right away. And despite the fact that there were a dozen people milling about in the room, jumping at every command Eugène spat, she found this fitting to be much better than with Mrs. Mable. For one, he never "accidentally" poked her with the pins the way Mrs. Mable had. For another, he treated her with appropriate respect. As if she were the queen already.

"Bring me the white silk Lanvin bodice…" Eugène said as he waved an arm toward his assistant, his other hand clutched at the middle of Y/n's back as he held fabric in place, and then snapped his fingers. "And check the third trunk for the custom silk skirt with cream lace. And those silk flourettes I've got in my leather satchel. I need them here."

And it went like that until Y/n could barely hold her eyes open. The buzz in the room continued for hours until Eugène was pleased with the look. Of course, he checked in with Y/n, often asking her opinion, of which she had none.

It embarrassed her, in a way, that she had no clue about what looked pretty and what did not. She didn't know fashion, but she did love the little silk flowers that were pinned along her outer skirt between bunched lace and smooth satin. The dress was lovely, Y/n could tell that much. And the finished product (which needed to be ready by midday) would be stunning. It would be paired with the original Turkish diamond necklace she'd been gifted and the finished veil that Mrs. Mable had made.

"Now, you rest," Eugène said to Y/n after Phoebe had helped her out of the delicate material and tucked a robe around her chemise. "The most important part of any outfit is the person wearing it and her disposition. Your beautiful smile will be the star of the ceremony, and you need your sleep. I will take care of the rest for you, madam. Leave the stress to me."

She paused and squinted at the odd man (he was quite odd, but she rather liked him). She wasn't sure if he'd said leave this dress to me, or leave the stress to me… Either way, she was too exhausted to think of much else than her comfortable bed as all of the workers left the room and Phoebe tucked her in and kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight, Queen." Phoebe smiled.

Y/n fluttered her eyes closed with a small, quiet laugh and whispered tiredly, "I'm not Queen yet."

"You are to me."

Despite the pre-wedding spiky nerves Harry was feeling, he was pleased and maybe even a little excited. The ceremony was only a couple of hours away and the castle was abuzz with activity all over. His suit was ready. He'd hidden in his study in hopes of a bit of peace and quiet before the doctor had forced his way in and begun talking nonsense.

"She has not yet had her physical examination, My Lord. It would require, at minimum, a quick and simple two-finger test, which is very run-of-the-mill."

Harry pinched his brows together and nodded with a sneer, his leg draped over his knee as he listened to the castle doctor. Sucking at his teeth he narrowed his gaze. "That will not be happening."

"Excuse me?" The doctor looked surprised.

"I said… That .. will not .. be happening."

"I don't understand. It's customary to check that the bride of the king is a virgin. How will we determine her virginal status if she doesn't have an examination?"

"I am sorry you're confused, but I believe I made myself clear. She will not be needing an examination. She's already told me she's a virgin." Not that it mattered to him in the first place.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies, My Lord, but how do you know she's telling you the truth? That is why we have protocol for this kind of thing. We cannot trust her to be honest about that. Of course, she'd tell you she's a virgin in order to procure her spot as Queen."

Harry sighed and placed his foot down on the floor, as if her were about to stand, his posture only slightly threatening as he leaned forward and kept his eyes hard on the doctor. "When I first picked her, I sought a woman who was not a virgin on purpose. I had hoped to enjoy some wick-dipping with her right off, but she was quite unsettled by the idea, worried about God and purity and all that. She's a virgin."

"My Lord, this is a—"

"This is a discussion that has come to an end. I won't hear of it anymore. You may take your leave. I'm busy. If you hadn't already realized it, I'm getting married today. I don't have time for your nonsense."

The doctor seemed rather vexed but he left the king's study without another word. Harry understood the usual traditions. He knew that it was expected that Y/n be a virgin. He was also not under any illusion that the people would demand proof and want to see their bedsheets the following morning to check for her blood.

He shook his head and gulped down the last of his gin. He hadn't even wanted a virgin. Mostly for selfish reasons but also because he'd never been with a virgin before. The very first time he saw her up close outside the castle gates, he found her features to be very pleasing and he made the mistake of assuming she was not a virgin. Though even after learning she was, he didn't regret his choice after getting acquainted with her.

He smiled as he stood from the chair. That's what she did to him when he thought of her. She made him smile. The kind of drowsy, sappy smile that told the world he was done for.

He wished he could see her right then. Ask her how she was doing, make sure she was being treated well… and perhaps to soothe his own nerves as well. What if she ran off? What if the foul treatment she'd been subjected to had finally gotten to her and she was on the run? Not many would stop her from running because they didn't like her anyway.

With a heavy sigh, he looked out the window to find the day overcast in soft pewters, clouds hanging low as if reluctant to bear witness to the scandal of the century. He was looking forward to making Y/n the Queen, but even more than that, he was looking forward to having her as his wife.

Y/n tried to stop the tears from escaping her eyes as she looked at herself in the mirror, the final product of her hair, the dress, her jewelry... The gown was even more luxurious than the previous. It had a fuller silk skirt with ribbons of cream lace and soft pink, green, and yellow satin flowers delicately sewn in. The bodice gave everything structure and form at the top, and the thin lace sleeves fitted over her arms like a second skin.

She grazed her fingers over the diamond necklace and inhaled a wobbly breath. "I can't believe it. I've never seen anything so beautiful."

Eugène stood behind her with a smile on his face. "I've never seen a more beautiful bride. You wear this dress well, my dear. I know it's not in keeping with tradition but I've been told that you and Harry are not a traditional royal couple. I hope it's just scandalous enough to make everyone turn heads and talk. If anyone can pull this off, it's you."

"And all in less than 12 hours! It's magnificent!" Pheobe exclaimed.

"Thank you, sir. I didn't believe it would be possible, but you've proven me wrong. I'm overwhelmed with happiness."

"Then I've done my job. Now, I believe your carriage awaits to bring you to the cathedral. I will be riding with you and your family, should anything come loose and need fastening."

The bells of Thornekeep Cathedral tolled with a heavy, ceremonial rhythm, each echo rolling over the gray-tipped rooftops of the town center like a reluctant proclamation. Inside, sunlight filtered through tall stained-glass windows, coloring the polished stone floor with fragments of ruby, emerald, and sapphire light. It was beautiful, solemn, and grand.

The nave was lined with nobles, foreign dignitaries, and members of the peerage, each clad in their finest silks, lace, and tailored uniforms. Rows of powdered wigs and jeweled collars bobbed stiffly above tight lips and narrowed eyes. They did not applaud. They did not smile. But they did watch carefully. Judging as if they were qualified.

A hush settled as the great organ began to play, a stately, thunderous processional. In the vestibule, Y/n stood just beyond the threshold, her hands trembling against the folds of her gown. The dress was nothing like the ones she used to imagine when watching brides pass in the street. It was better. Phoebe stood at her side, fussing with the long veil that trailed like mist behind her, whispering encouragement.

“You look divine,” Phoebe said, adjusting the fabric atop Y/n’s head. “Now, chin up. If they’re going to hate you, let them hate a queen, not a beggar.”

At the front of the cathedral, King Harry stood waiting beneath the high stone arch of the altar, dressed in a black frock coat with gold embroidery along the cuffs and collar. His ceremonial sword hung from his hip—a nod to tradition he’d allowed begrudgingly—but his cravat was loosened ever so slightly in subtle rebellion. Fred stood just behind him, rigid as he watched on.

Harry’s expression, however, was anything but restrained. He grinned brightly when he saw her appear at the end of the aisle, arm looped with her father's. Gasps rippled through the crowd, not at the gown, not at the diamond necklace, but at the girl wearing them. A commoner. A beggar, soon to be their queen.

Y/n walked slowly down the aisle, trying not to falter under the weight of stares that clung to her like sticky brambles. Her breath caught when she met Harry’s eyes, mischievous, proud, and tender. There was something grounding in his gaze, like a rope cast to a woman who was still learning to stand on marble floors.

At the altar, the Archbishop cleared his throat and began the ceremony, reading from the Book of Common Prayer, as was custom. The vows were traditional, spoken clearly before God and court:

“Will you, Harry, take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?”

He didn’t hesitate. “I will.”

“Will you, Y/n, take this man to be your wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance—”

“I will,” she said, quietly but firmly, not letting her voice sound weak in front of the staring spectators.

There were no whispers of love, no passionate declarations. But when Harry slid the ornate ring, a band of twisted gold and sapphire, onto her finger, his thumb brushed hers with lingering affection. A touch that said more than their vows ever could.

When they were pronounced husband and wife, the organ swelled. Tradition usually dictated a polite kiss on the cheek before turning to face the congregation. But Harry, never one for subtlety, leaned in and kissed her full on the lips, dipping her ever so slightly, and Y/n grabbed onto his coat to steady herself. Gasps rose, half in horror, half in delight. He pulled back with a wink only she could see.

Then, side by side, they faced the court. Stone faces stared back. Y/n straightened her spine.

"Let them glare," he said under his breath as they smiled.

The cathedral bells rang again as the newly crowned Queen Y/n emerged from the grand oak doors on Harry’s arm. A scattering of cheers broke out in the crowd gathered beyond the palace gates, though they were thin and uncertain, peppered with scowls, taciturn nobles, and commoners caught between fascination and suspicion.

The royal carriage stood gleaming in the late afternoon light, a glossy black and gold coach pulled by six white horses adorned in crested harnesses. Its polished sides mirrored the anxious faces that lined the route, and the royal seal glinted on the carriage doors.

Y/n climbed in first, the veil like a cloud behind her. Harry followed, waving once to the crowd with an exaggerated flourish, as if daring them to boo. Fred closed the door after them with a look of quiet resignation, before hopping into the carriage behind with the footmen.

Inside, the carriage was warm and velvet-lined, the heavy scent of roses clinging to the seats. Y/n stared out the window as they began to move, flanked by guards on horseback.

“They hate me,” she whispered.

Harry leaned against the cushion and smiled as he pulled her hand into his. “You shouldn't worry about what a bunch of thick-headed sardines think of you. They'er blind.”

She looked up at him and smiled. "I woke up thinking that you'd come to your senses and call it off. That I'd be waiting, all dressed and ready, and you'd be locked in your chambers and have me removed."

He shook his head, soft green irises sliding over her frame and up to her face. “I’ve come to my senses, all right. That’s why you’re sitting here now.”

Y/n looked down at their joined hands—his thumb gently stroking over her knuckles—and for a moment, the heavy world outside the carriage fell away.

“I don’t know how to be a queen,” she admitted, voice barely audible over the rhythmic clatter of wheels on cobblestone.

Harry leaned closer, his voice lower, softer now. “Good.”

She huffed a quiet laugh, and he smiled at the sound, genuine and unguarded. Then he brought her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss against her fingers. “You don’t have to be perfect, Y/n. You just have to be real.”

Outside, the crowd grew louder as the palace gates loomed ahead, but inside the carriage, it was warm and still. She shifted closer to him, their shoulders touching now, the lace of her sleeve brushing the brocade of his coat.

And though the kingdom buzzed with scandal, and the court plotted behind polished smiles, in that quiet stretch of space before the next curtain rose, King Harry and Queen Y/n simply breathed, side by side.

The Great Hall of Thornekeep Palace was transformed for the occasion—hundreds of beeswax candles glittered from chandeliers high above, and polished mirrors doubled the light across the walls. Tapestries were drawn back to reveal the grand stonework of the castle’s bones, lending an air of both splendor and severity. Long banquet tables were laid out in rows, gleaming with silverware, crystal goblets, and floral arrangements that spilled over with wildflowers and white roses.

Music floated through the room, an ensemble of violinists and harpists near the hearth played a series of traditional waltzes, though the tempo felt more funereal than festive. No one danced yet. The air was too tight.

At the head table, Y/n sat beside Harry beneath a carved wooden canopy bearing the royal crest. Her plate was filled, but her appetite lagged behind her nerves. The food was elaborate: roast venison with plum glaze, lemon-rosemary quail, bowls of minted peas and white asparagus, and trenchers of honeyed bread and soft cheeses. There was wine from the southern vineyards and towering sugar confections shaped like swans and crowns.

Phoebe stood nearby, ever watchful, whispering quiet instructions on what to do with each fork, when to dab her mouth, when to rise. Y/n nodded gratefully.

The murmurs never stopped.

“She curtsied too shallow.”

“She speaks like she’s from the gutter.”

“Can’t even hold a wineglass properly…”

Harry heard them. Y/n could see it in the tick of his jaw. At one point, a nobleman seated halfway down the table made a thinly veiled comment about the "peculiar scent of fishmongers at court." Harry stood, clinked his glass, and with all the weight of his crown and grin declared:

“I rather like the smell of a woman who knows how to survive.”

The room went silent. Then, reluctantly—awkwardly—a few polite claps began. Phoebe stifled a laugh. Fred looked like he’d aged ten years.

As the night wore on, the air grew looser. Jugglers and acrobats entered, performing near the rear hearth to entertain the children and lower nobility. A small group of traveling actors performed a dramatic retelling of King Augustus the Wise, a none-too-subtle dig at Harry’s late father, much to Harry’s delight.

Y/n watched it all in a dreamlike haze, the velvet of her seat warm beneath her and her crown tugging gently at her temples. She caught Harry looking at her between sips of wine. He reached across the table, not for her hand, but to slide a sugared fig onto her plate.

Y/n picked it up and bit into the fig. Sweet. Sharp. Decadent.

She looked at him with gratitude, holding his gaze a beat longer than proper, feeling something settle in her chest, something warm, steady, and terrifyingly real. Before she could say anything, Fred appeared beside the table with the stiff posture of a man who’d tried to interrupt twice already and failed.

“Your Majesty,” he said quietly, bowing slightly toward Harry. “Lord Chancellor Whitely requests a word regarding the foreign trade representatives. He says it won’t wait.”

Harry groaned under his breath, tilting his head back like a man being dragged to the gallows. “Of course it won’t.” He gave Y/n’s hand a final squeeze under the table. “This is important. I will return as quickly as possible.”

As Fred guided him away, a soft voice called Y/n’s name from just behind her. She turned to find Phoebe leaning in with that same practiced smile she wore whenever navigating nobility like thorns.

“Your mother’s asking for you. I told her you’d come as soon as you’d had a moment and now that the king has been called off…”

Y/n blinked, surprised, rising carefully, nodding her thanks as Phoebe adjusted the fall of her gown behind her. The palace loomed vast and glittering, but with Harry’s warmth still clinging to her skin. Y/n lifted her chin and walked toward where her mother and sisters were standing.

Her mother let out a dramatic sob and pulled Y/n's hands into her warm ones. "You are the Queen. I hear the whispers of everyone around me, but I know you and you are worthy. Even if he already has his mistress up in his room waiting, we all know who his wife is. Whom he has chosen as his queen."

"His mistress?" Y/n looked over her shoulder at Phoebe, who shook her head in confusion, eyes flitting between the mother and daughter.

"Yes. I heard some people talking about a woman named Pearl. She's waiting for him in his chambers right now. Did you not know?"

Y/n swallowed, the back of her throat hollow as she shook her head in disbelief. Her head swirled, making her dizzy, and her sight suddenly shaded in red. Had that been the real reason why he was called off so suddenly? Had he lied to her about what he thought of Pearl? But why?

"I did not know. Thank you, mother. I need to sit."

Y/n tried not to let the dismay that clenched at her heart show on her face. Phoebe was speaking, but Y/n couldn't put together the sentences or make sense of anything. If he'd just been honest the first time around, she wouldn't have so suddenly been caught off guard. She had expected him to take a mistress but when he told her he wouldn't be…

Sitting back in her place, she looked around at the lingering gazes and then at her plate in silence. The food she hadn't finished staring back up at her in a taunt. She couldn't believe that she'd been deceived by him. But she refused to let tears stain her cheeks. She was already the butt of the joke and now she knew it to be true. She'd been so stupid.

Even though the room was full of wealth and opulence, no one danced to the music, and very few applauded the children's entertainment on the other side of the Great Hall. The longer she sat in her fancy chair, in her beautiful dress, without Harry by her side, the more she became certain that he was with Pearl. Why would he be rushed away on the evening of his wedding if not to secretly see his new lover? Would he really allow a business meeting to take precedence? None of it made sense anymore.

Y/n drank down her glass of wine and motioned to have another filled. If she was going to be ignored by her new husband while he played with his mistress behind her back, she was going to try and get on with things, and a bit of drink couldn't hurt. Phoebe had tried to offer her comforting words but it didn't help.

"He's off with her. How long has he already been gone? It's been an hour? I know better than to trust him again."

"Please, madam… I think your mother was mistaken. The king only has eyes for you—"

"My mother knew her name. Someone was speaking about it right in front of her, and she learned a secret that was not meant to be exposed. I'm happy to be armed with the truth. At least I know now."

The chatter in the room softened as heads turned toward the hall's arched entry when Harry and Fred stepped back inside. Y/n looked away. It wasn't fair that he was so handsome after having come back from wherever he'd been. His bed with Pearl likely.

When he sat back down, he reached his hand under the table to place over her skirt but she scooted herself away as much as possible and turned sharply to look anywhere but at him.

"What's wrong, mouse?"

She lifted her glass to her lips and took a long pull of her drink before setting it back down with a loud clunk onto the table. She refused to look at his face. "Do not call me mouse ever again."

Harry glanced up at Phoebe, who was standing near Y/n's chair and then back at his bride's side profile, speaking louder that time. "What is wrong? Tell me what has happened?"

Those who sat closest to the king and queen watched on curiously.

"Did you have fun while you were away? Was it necessary to take an hour to do it?"

"The Lord Chancellor had very important news, and I needed to settle an issue. I did not intend for it to take as long as it did. I apologize. Is that why you're angry?"

She felt her heart thudding in her chest as anger rose up her spine. "Liar."

"Liar? Do you think I am lying right now? Why would I lie to you about something like this? I did not… Will you turn and look at me?"

Y/n turned away further stubbornly, into an uncomfortable position in her seat as she kept her gaze set away from him. Harry groaned and a few seconds later, Y/n felt her chair being pulled back and a hand grasping at the top of her arm, pulling her up to stand. She huffed as Harry brought her with him away from the table and toward the servant's door out of earshot of the guests.

"Look at me right now, Y/n. I will not tolerate your cryptic anger. Tell me what's wrong at once."

She clenched her jaw and slowly, ever so slowly, let her eyes land on his. "I know what you did. You don't need to lie to me and make a fool of me. At least have the respect to be honest with me!"

Harry wanted to laugh, but he was beginning to get angry himself. He hadn't the slightest idea of what she was on about. "Okay. Then tell me what you think I did."

Y/n tried to maintain a stern, defiant expression and not let her emotions rise to the surface but the longer she looked at his pretty face the harder it was. "Pearl."

He raised his brows and blinked. "What about Pearl? The Mables were all disinvited from the wedding. They are not here. What of Pearl?"

"She was waiting for you in your chambers, and you just went to her. Everyone already knows that's what you did. Your secret got out, and now I know."

He couldn't help it when he a laugh fell from his mouth, and Y/n scowled. "You think that I was with Pearl? Are you serious? Have you not learned yet that believing the whispers of the overly pampered people in this room are as good as fiction?"

She blinked at him, her lips turning downward as her conviction faltered. "My mother told me."

He shook his head. "I don't care who told you. You were lied to. I was with Fred, the Lord Chancellor, and two of his men…" Harry pointed behind Y/n. "Look. There they are now. Taking their seats."

She turned to see three men sitting down, smiles on their faces. And as she let her eyes wander the room, she noticed that many people were not paying much attention to her at that moment. A few were staring, but most were drinking their wine and talking to the people around them.

She looked back up at him. "Do you have a mistress? You might as well tell me now, Harry. At least be honest with me. It's not like I'm going to end the courtship or anything. Too late for that."

"I told you I wasn't taking a mistress, and I meant it."

Y/n searched his face, eyes flitting between his irises and the anger, and the sharp ache of betrayal slowly dissolved when she found nothing but honesty in his eyes. She realized that someone had purposely said those things about Pearl in front of her mother for this very outcome. She'd fallen for the lies.

"You need to trust me. No one else here can be trusted. No one cares about you like I do, so you can't listen to them. They are lying to put a wall between us but it won't work because you're smarter than that. Look who I married?" He ran his knuckles along her jaw. "You're all I want. Why would I ever go with Opal when I have you, here, looking like this…" he said as he looked down over her gown.

"Pearl."

"Who?" He grinned playfully.

She smiled, finally, and Harry let out a breath. "There's that smile. Beautiful."

Y/n looked down, feeling embarrassed by her behavior.

Harry ran his hand down her arm and pulled her closer. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

She breathed out a soft laugh. "And you're the devil."

"A handsome one?"

Nodding, she grinned wider, unable to stifle it any longer.

"Let's go back and take our seats before we politely make leave."

The great hall had grown quieter. The candlelight, though still plentiful, seemed to flicker more lazily now, wax dripping down to silver trays as though the evening itself were beginning to loosen its corset. The musicians had shifted to slower, gentler melodies, less formal, less performative. A lull had settled in.

Guests were beginning to drift away in pairs and small clusters, offering final bows and well-wishes to chamberlains and assistants rather than seeking out the king or queen directly. No one had announced the end, but the message was clear: the night was folding itself closed, and that was more than fine with Harry and Y/n.

Y/n's back ached faintly beneath the weight of her new crown as they took their seats again. Across the room, Phoebe stood watchfully near the far wall with Niall next to her, whispering, while the kitchen staff had begun clearing away the final courses with quiet precision.

Harry slid his hand against hers under the table, and quiet chatter surrounded them. She was ready to leave the Great Hall and be done with the theatrics of the day. Her emotions had been quite volatile all day, and the quiet of Harry's bedchambers was beginning to sound like a dream right then.

Fred appeared at Harry’s side and said something in his ear. Harry gave a faint nod, then turned to Y/n with that same roguish smile he’d worn at the altar, but softer, laced with something she couldn’t quite name.

He leaned toward her, close enough that only she could hear. “It's time for us to depart.”

She rose with him, and though no formal announcement followed, the shift was immediate. Some of the guests turned their eyes away in practiced discretion. A few nobles bowed as they passed. Some merely watched with disapproving eyes.

They exited through a smaller side corridor, footsteps muffled on hand-woven rugs. The hall behind them continued to hum, but it was like walking away from a fever dream, something ornate and strange, but already fading.

Once they were alone, past the eyes and expectations, Harry reached for her hand again as he led her up to his room. The corridors of the royal wing were hushed, dimly lit by flickering sconces.

Neither of them spoke. There had been enough of the show. Enough talking and forced smiles. As their footsteps echoed down the long hallway, Harry’s thumb traced idle circles against her knuckles, and Y/n held onto his hand like it was the first real thing she’d touched all day.

At the doors to his chambers, he paused only briefly before pushing them open. The room had been set up for the wedding night, warm with candlelight and perfumed faintly with cedar as the fireplace crackled. The moment the heavy doors clicked shut behind them, something inside the silence softened. The weight of the crown, the stifling eyes of the court, the perfect stillness she’d worn like armor… it all began to peel away.

Harry turned to her and reached for her waist to pull her close, his touch gentle and secure. Her hands slid over the lapels of his coat, anchoring herself in the solid warmth of him.

"My Queen," he spoke just above a whisper as he palmed at her cheek softly.

Y/n smiled shyly. "My King."

He leaned down, slowly, unhurried, and pressed his forehead to hers as they both closed their eyes. There was no rush to move away from the quiet moment; in fact, it had been necessary, vital. The sound of their breaths, the feel of closeness between them… Y/n trailed her fingers up his arm and tilted her face toward his lips, before pressing them to his in a kiss that was sweet and filled with quiet relief.

. .

Chapter 6 is where we'll finally be getting the smut. I'll be dedicating the entire next part to their wedding night 🤭 xoxo

. .

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#mean king!harry #king!harry #gurugirl #harry styles fic rec

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drtyelvisfantasy · 17 hours ago

Text

OH BABY, BABY

CHAPTER FIVE

note: I'm sorry for such a long wait, I finally got on summer break so im just trying to get settled. please like, reblog and share

warnings: swearing, infidelity, abandonment issues, pregnancy

It’s been a couple of months, and now I’m 32 weeks pregnant. Rafe said he’s coming down for two months to help with the baby and be there for the birth, which I really do appreciate. But honestly… I’ve been feeling pretty down. I love being a mom, and I’m so happy to have my daughter, but I never got to have any of the fun stuff other moms get—no baby shower, no gender reveal, nothing like that. It’s hard not to feel left out. I’ve felt so alone through all of this.

But in the middle of all that, there’s at least one thing I can smile about, we finished the nursery. Rafe helped me get it all set up before the due date, and it actually looks beautiful. It’s the one space that feels ready, that feels peaceful. And right now, that means everything.

—

When Margaret and I first moved to Florida, Rafe straight-up lied to Sofia about landing a work contract here—and she was clueless enough to buy it

When he left for Florida this time, Rafe said Sofia stood in the doorway, arms crossed, firing off a hundred questions, but never once raising her voice. She never told him not to go. Just stood there, silently watching him zip up a bag full of lies.

“Contract work,” he said.

“Same utility company. They’re stretched thin down there. I’ll be in and out a lot.”

Apparently, she just nodded. Like she didn’t believe him but didn’t want to hear the truth either.

“How long’s the job?” Sofia asked.

“A couple of weeks at a time,” Rafe replied.

“You gonna be reachable?” she pressed.

“Of course,” he said.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time on the phone lately,” she said lightly, almost as if she’s making conversation. “Florida must be keeping you busy.”

Rafe glanced over his shoulder and gave a half-smile. “Yeah, just tying up a few things before things get hectic. You know how it is.”

She nodded, slowly. “Mm-hmm. Must be nice having people down there who can help with everything.”

There was a pause. Brief, but it settled between them.

“I guess I just didn’t realize how often you were talking to them,” she added casually, her tone still warm but a little too even. “You’ve been real… consistent.”

Rafe chuckled, but it felt forced. “Just work, Sof. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not,” she said with a soft smile. “Just… curious.”

She pushed off the doorframe and walked toward the kitchen, her heart ticking a little faster—but her face calm, unreadable.

He told me later she lingered longer in the bedroom than usual—sat on the edge of the bed while he showered, the steam fogging up the mirror. She didn’t ask as many questions this time. Didn’t need to.

Because when he came out of the bathroom, towel around his waist and toothbrush hanging from his mouth, she wasn’t there.

But his phone was buzzing.

She picked it up and put it back down, deliberately leaving it exactly as she’d found it — unlocked, face-up, screen still glowing.

And that’s when she saw it.

My message.

(954) 623-8174: “Call me before you head out. Margaret wants to say goodnight.”

He didn’t notice the phone had moved.

Didn’t notice that she'd written something down and tucked it deep into her wallet.

My number.

She didn’t scream.

Didn’t throw it in his face.

Didn’t even flinch.

She just waited until he left.

—

It’s been a day since Rafe got here. Late at night now—Margaret’s asleep upstairs. Rafe and I sit on the couch, and he tells me Sofia’s suspicions are starting to grow. He can feel it—like a weight hanging in the air between them.

"Sofia’s getting suspicious. I can feel it."

I glanced at him, heart tightening.

Rafes expression turns serious as he continues.

Rafe’s expression darkens as he goes on. “She’s noticed the phone calls. She’s starting to put two and two together.”

“Fuck, I knew this was gonna happen,” I say, tears welling up in my eyes. “Do you think she knows?”

"Not yet. But she’s close. I can tell. And it’s only a matter of time before she figures something out."

“So what’s gonna happen to us?” I ask.

Rafe’s face tightens with irritation, his voice sharp. “Nothing’s going to happen to us. I’m still married to Sofia, and that’s not changing anytime soon.”

I stare at him, disbelief and anger rising.

“So what, I’m just gonna be your pregnant mistress until you decide to call it quits with her? Are you fucking serious?”

Rafe’s irritation sharpens into anger, his jaw tightening as he feels cornered by my words.

“Don’t say that. I care about you, but I can’t just leave Sofia—you knew that from the start.”

“I remember what you promised,” I say, my voice breaking as the tears come. “You said we could run away. Start a new life. I remember what you told me.”

Rafe sighs heavily, his frustration growing.

“I know what I promised,” Rafe says, his voice low. “But you know it’s not that simple.”

A heavy silence hangs between us.

“And you knew about Sofia from the start,” he adds. “You knew I wasn’t ready to leave her. You knew we could never be together… not in the way you wanted.”

“I can’t—goodness, I just can’t do this right now. It’s too much,” I say, my voice shaking. “I don’t want to go into labor over this.”

I stand up from the couch, wiping at my face. “Good night.”

Rafe looks taken aback by the firmness in my voice, like he’s just now realizing he pushed too far.

“Wait—don’t be like that,” he says quickly. “I didn’t mean to get worked up. Can we just talk about this?”

“Tomorrow, Rafe,” I say, already walking away. “Not now.”

—

I wake up the next morning to silence. No sound of Rafe snoring beside me, no clatter from Margaret in the kitchen—just stillness. The kind that makes your chest feel a little heavier.

Panic creeps in as I reach for my phone and call Rafe, afraid he might’ve left again without saying a word.

Rafe picks up, his voice low and a little hushed.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Where are you?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

“I just dropped Margaret off at school,” he says casually, not picking up on the tension. “Why?”

“I was just wondering, that’s all.”

“Is everything okay? You sound… worried.”

“I’m just tired,” I say quietly.

His tone softens.

“Okay. We’ll talk later. Get some rest, alright? You sound exhausted.”

“Okay. Bye,” I say gently, then end the call.

Rafe says goodbye and hangs up, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I push myself up from the bed, wincing as the weight shifts to my swollen feet. Every step aches, and the discomfort of being this pregnant is starting to wear me down. I just want it to be over. I just want the baby here already.

I make my way to the kitchen and open the fridge, scanning for something—anything—that doesn’t make me nauseous. There’s a fruit platter I remember picking up a couple days ago. I grab it, take a seat at the table, and start picking at it in silence.

As I sit at the table, picking at the fruit, my phone buzzes with a call from an unknown number. I hesitate, staring at the screen. Who could it be? After a moment, I decide to answer.

“Hello?” I say, but there’s only silence.

“Hello? Who is this?” I ask again, my voice a little sharper now. Still nothing—just silence. But then I hear it: faint breathing on the other end.

The hairs on my neck rise.

“If you’re not going to talk, then… then don’t call me again,” I say, trying to sound firm, even though my voice wavers.

There’s a pause—long enough to make me hold my breath. And then the line goes dead.

I lower the phone slowly, staring at it. The silence in the kitchen feels heavier now. Whoever it was didn’t speak, but the call leaves me more unsettled than before… and wondering what they wanted.

I sat there in the kitchen, my breath coming in shallow bursts. One hand gripped the edge of the table, the other slid instinctively to my belly. The baby kicked—slow, strong, steady.

Whoever it was on the phone… it wasn’t nobody. I knew that.

And suddenly, the house didn’t feel quiet anymore. It felt watched.

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron thoughts #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe x you #rafe angst #rafe smut #rafe cameron smut #rafe fluff #rafe x sofia #lineman!rafe x stripper!reader #oh baby baby🍼

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letterlifter · 1 day ago

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A Long Diary Entry About Me and Recent Events

I wasn't planning on posting, but now that things have settled a bit, maybe i've changed my mind .... i dont know ... i am a very quiet person online. but it turns out i have a lot to say right now. So maybe it's good to put out a little blog every once in a while. maybe this will prove to be unwise ...

Intro

this will be fairly personal and not professional and not well written, so please do not over analyze it or think too hard. i only have good intentions, i promise. im also not a very organized thinker so this might be a mess. being perceived anywhere makes me profoundly nervous, so if you misbehave, i will continue to cease existing publicly online, and i shan't perform for you again... *disappears in a mist*

ahem...herm...

*comes back on stage, taps mic... clears throat... straightens papers...wipes away my blackened, exploded hair...*

this will be a little look into my world, and very honest... maybe a lot of what i have posted previously during my time at clash was overly sanitized cause i felt like i couldnt say anything publicly without repercussions.

hi, i hope you are all doing well... im mail but i geuss you knew that already. i haven't been on the clash team since functionally early last year due to various medical problems. i prefer to keep all of these things to myself, but, i feel that it's relevant to mention.

i have disappeared everywhere because of all of the "stuff" going on with me. this may be the first time some of my friends have seen signs of life from me in months, and i am so sorry about that. i care about you and think about you often. social media is still difficult for me to use right now, but i am trying to get better with it, and this is a step in that direction, maybe…?

there's other factors to me leaving clash of course (some of which have been mentioned by former staff recently). It’s freeing to speak so openly about corporate clash, especially its internal workings, because I felt like i couldn't say much here while actively being on the clash crew. it's why "nothing i say is canon" is plastered weirdly everywhere. it was probably, mostly, just my own nerves getting in the way though

ok well i'm taking it back everything i say is THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!!!!!! (i am joking) what i will say is true is that whatever you headcanon about any character i designed gets my HONEST AND TRUE stamp of mailman's approval. i am reclaiming them (Jokingly) (Lovingly) so that you can have them instead (Telling the truth) i also have not played toontown in like two years. If someone says you're a liar you can screenshot this and said "Mailman said so" and I won't care It's not like i'll be there. also i genuinely believe some of you are more qualified than me or anyone to speak on these beloved and often lgbt characters. Please consider yourself to be the only correct source of clash information from now on. i have no real authority here, but neither do they ... 'cause like what're they gonna do ....

Anyways Whew! Glad that's over! No offense i am just joking around...i went through a lot but overall, Clash changed my life for the better. in some ways i am a bit sad that this chapter of my life has ended. but i will always love toontown and gay furries forever and ever. i am so, so happy that people like what I have contributed so much to.

oh and of course, i agree with the statements from former staff. like 90% of them are my friends after all so maybe i am a little biased here... i prefer to keep personal matters to myself but i experienced a lot of trauma there. im sure it was accidental on the part of others and i would never blame just one person for it. theres something that is just foundationally not working with their structure and it is hurting people, and I hope they're able to mend whatever that is. i am sure you leaderships are reading this, so, hello, i hope you are doing okay. im sorry about how stressful this all must be and i hope things improve. its true that most of us 1.3 developers left, but for those of you who knew me on the team, hiii i hope you are well

but ummm hmm how do i say this.

*Gets a puppet out to speak for me so i can remain blameless for whatever information i say because it may or may not be true*

and i am just a little puppet after all, using comedy to deflect any accusations of personal wrongdoing.... But this is my theory.

Because it is not a professional project, corporate clash will always be ran by volunteers who have never worked on a project on this scale. I think this results in accidental mismanagement. It’s really difficult to run a volunteer video game like this when it isn't structured like a close-knit friend group. In fact, “volunteer video games” do not really exist in any other context, so there’s nothing to reference. The more people there are, the more they may get neglected. so, i am sympathetic about how difficult it is to keep this game continuing and to be a lead for it. Especially on volunteer time.

Who said that. Throw that freak in the trash.

BOOM...

...

*Mailman returns and is picking off pieces of garbage*

well anyways. you have to imagine this has been a really strange, difficult, weird, upsetting, past couple of weeks for me. Especially me, who really doesn't like being perceived at all, being perceived... the horrors... i am still trying to return to normal, but it feels like something has changed in a cosmic sort of way, and i cant stop feeling it.

Clarification

ive been thinking about whether or not to include this next section, but i have decided to do so as briefly as possible, because i feel like it is important for me to clarify it. this piece of context feels important to me. please be responsible with it, and please don't use it to hurt others.

as you are all probably aware, stuck the duck did a stream recently covering the statements made by former staff. of course i agree with former staff, as I am former staff myself and i share some of their experiences, and many of them are friends of mine. i think stuck is really cool and he is a very kind person.

at the end of his stream, a statement was made regarding a situation where i was allegedly receiving poor treatment from cranky during a severe bout of illness.

i was not involved in making that statement, it was based on someone else's perspective on how i was treated at the time because i do not remember the situation for myself. i was so sick that i do not really remember what happened in detail.

all i remember is really wanting to complete the illustration because it was important to me, i wanted the community to have it with its corresponding update. i feel like cranky's statement regarding it is probably more accurate to my memory but i didnt read it in detail because these past few weeks have been a little nerve-wracking. i have been told by others that the situation appeared worse than what I remember, but again I cannot verify any of this.

but with how hard i worked on that illustration through illness, i do think it was disappointing and a little hurtful to forget about it until one of my friends reminded them it existed. but i understand things slip through and i have also made mistakes. i truly don't hold grudges because i lack the emotion of anger. I just get really scared.... . i am not completely happy with how the picture came out anyways, but thats probably because i was so sick when making it ….

i cant say whether or not it's true, or if cranky's participation was somewhat exaggerated. i think as community lead (?) he was in control of its distribution though. the only part i can verify is that they didnt use it for a long time despite my working very hard on it. but things happen in development all the time, and i am not really interested or comfortable in being centered in this situation.. i actually do not really want to receive any attention at all but i would feel bad ignoring this statement.

but please also understand this. cranky may have made mistakes in leadership, and he may have hurt people, including my friends, but based on what i know, which of course is not everything, i really don't believe he's an evil person, and i would ask that you please do not publicly attack people you do not know. i believe that everyone working on clash has its best interests in mind, even if i don't agree with all of their approaches. they are there, working for free, because they care about it.

there is a difference between attacking someone and sharing information with others. this is just my perspective, but as ex-staff, we are allowed to speak on this because we knew them, and these are our experiences, i hope you understand where i'm coming from here. a game of telephone starts happening and dishonest things are said by mistake. it may be best to just link to an individual's statements. Please treat all clash staff fairly.

with all of this unfortunate stuff going on, i saw someone i do not know claim that some clash staff would make fun of me behind my back, which is sad if true. but i dont know if its true or not so i wouldn’t hold it against them. at this point i have grieved about clash over and over again so there’s not much grief left to have. I only mention it because i hope its not true, and i have no way of knowing, because for the most part, i like everyone at clash, and i just want whoever allegedly said those things about me to know that.

i am not perfect either though. i try to do right by everyone nowadays because it's all i can do. so of course i would forgive them immediately.

thats all i have to say on the clash situation. thank you for listening to us. many of us thought these stories would never be heard. so i appreciate you listening if nothing else.

Me and What I am doing Now

i always felt like i would have a lot to talk about once leaving clash, but i actually dont. i dont have anything to say that i, or others, havent already said. once again i agree with the majority of ex-staff / my friends, but im talking about even casual stuff about development or whatever. i dont think its all that interesting to people that weren't there, and i'm not interested enough in clash anymore to make posts about it publicly.

i would post my personal work to other accounts, that could be cool, but i don't have much to say, and Im not able to make as much stuff as I used to. … i also do not get anything out of seeing a big number (Likes Or Reposts) on my drawings. so id be posting maybe once every four months ... or once a year … i have really bad time blindness which doesn't go well with social media. maybe i'll get back into it anyways some day. it's theoretically possible that a few people would like to see my drawings, but yet i post nothing ever, and thats a little sad.

if i do make a brand new account, i will probably be stealing this url. Sorry for any potential confusion in the future.

most of the time i am just doing my own thing working on my original, personal projects. i really love my characters and i do a lot of stuff with them. i make comics, stories, drawings, 3d models. You know how it is ... im working on a 3d model right now that i will probably go work on after i post this. i plan on integrating the 3d model into a little website that tells you all about the character and i think that will be really fun. I love making interactive stuff with my characters. youll be able to rotate it all around and stuff. i definitely wont be able to do that for all of them though ... i'm probably not capable of making as much stuff as i used to in general, but i am at peace with that.

i also plan on making this next 3d model into a VRchat avatar (like i usually do) but this time hopefully itll be my "main" model so i can feel less embarrassed logging in to hang out with friends. maybe You and Me can play vrchat some day. i am really shy online though so we’ll see. anyways its going to be a really cute dragon thing and i'm going to make it wear my clothes. i like to collect vintage clothing from thrift stores and i have an outfit in mind. He's actually just one of my regular characters that i turned into a cute dragon, but i'm forcing him to represent me for now.

umm what else has been going on with me ... i played a lot of "fantasy life i" recently. and deltarune. i watched a lot of deltarune theory videos on youtube. i watched a whole documentary the other day and i have memory problems so i only realized at the end that i had already seen it before. I recently customized my web browser and im using “zen” now its kind of cool. Just now, I wrote a lot about these two metallica concerts i went to a few months ago (after much preparation) but I decided to delete all the stories from it in favor of just mentioning that i went.

anyways. it probably goes without saying, but i am not a social media person, and i cannot make as much stuff anymore, so all the stuff i make now is either for myself or is for one of the various projects im working on.

i will now talk about one of the various projects im working on. this one isn't a personal project though because im making it with my friends, many of whom made up some very large slices in that 1.3 pie chart:

FriendOS

So. Of course i am still a game developer. i really love working on games, and i dont think that will ever leave me. 3d modelling and animation, making assets, and character design are among the many things i do and want to continue doing. i suppose you could just consider me the "lead 3d artist" for this project.

my main project is now "FriendOS", a really advanced furry character creator with 3d platforming and bullethell battles.

I mean, a 3d platformer with bullethell battles and a really advanced furry character creator.

our game has a lot of cool stuff in it. For instance, we put a lot of work into the really advanced furry character creator, ensuring that you can mix 'n' match whatever pieces you'd like. And this time it's fun

I will give you a rundown as quickly as possible before you lose interest.

in friendOS, you play as a "Friend". Friends are a species of "digital avatar" that navigate a world made to represent an operating system.

Friends are wild, technically indestructible, and poorly mannered creatures. We are still researching their natural behaviors, but we do know that a friend has never been reported dead for long. They cause problems, yet they are the problem solvers, tasked with exploring the deepest parts of a computer to cleanse it of its rotten, virus-infected core.

Within FriendOS, the computer is accessed via "Bliss", an interactive 3d interface known for its heavenly lands full of rainbows, flowers, and files. It is a safe pasture for which the friends shall graze. The residents of this utopian town are very curious themselves. I heard one of them claims to have been a racecar driver, but I think he's lying.

Astron is our beloved god dog. He takes out the trash and tells the truth

Who is this and why is he doing that

This world is very real to the residents of "Bliss". There's a lot of unique struggles that come with knowing you are living inside of a computer and being okay with that.

So, you are running around inside of an old computer. It's a land full of mysteries, collectables, gay people, very customizable little friends, and minigames. Minigames including fishing.

Yes Everyone in this game is gay and no one is going to get mad at me for saying that. In what way they are gay is for you to discover or decide for yourself.

I would go into more detail, but we still have a lot to work on, so it will probably change a lot. However I encourage you all to roleplay in a lobby some day. It's really fun

if you're actually reading this entire thing and send me a suggestion with some type of item you think friends would look beautiful wearing, i can't say it won't influence me. which, thanks for reading all of this by the way, it's very nice of you. the way i have designed this 3d artstyle is so that assets can be created as efficiently as possible, considering our team is very, very small. its all round and flat so they can be made quickly.

it's so nice to work on a team where we really get each other. now that i think about it, we've been making games together for like four years. we are all very confident developers which makes us very efficient at making things. everything we do is highly collaborative and we're always listening to each other.

i have been working on friendOS for like 8-10 months and we haven't fought over anything this entire time. its so beautiful. im sure that we will continue to only ever agree with each other, our team will remain motivated, and nothing bad will ever happen.

If you are interested in following the development of friendOS, I encourage you to join the official friendOS discord server. We have a long ways to go, but it’s read only, so you can comfortably ignore it at the bottom of your server list for as long as you want!

Closing

there is a good chance i will not be very involved in toontown after all of this. Clash was a little traumatizing for me and my friends. at various points in the timeline, things happened that i cannot talk about. i was treated poorly, my friends were treated poorly, and i'm sure no one did it on purpose, but it still happened. things happened that made me cry on behalf of others, which i haven't told many people.

but you know... there isn't much more that i want to make for toontown anyways. i feel like 1.3 was already my "dream update." i'm uninterested in working on any toontown private server in the future because i already know exactly what i would be doing, and i have done enough of it. I appreciate the freedom i have in creating whatever i'd like. for both myself and friendOS, i can make whatever designs and items and characters i want, and that's really cool.

clash has taught me so much, and it has even made me grow better as a person, but i feel like i need to move on as an artist. i'm thankful for what i have learned there and I apply it every day.

i hope that doesn't make anyone sad, because it doesn't really make me sad. I think it’s an exciting thing. i will probably always be around in some way, and clash will continue on in whatever way it chooses for itself.

I have been into toontown since around 2007. as of 2025, i think thats like 18 years of my life. Jeez ... so i have watched this game go through "cycles" a few times now. the first time was when TTO closed. then TTR opened in like 2014. then everyone felt like it was dead again, and clash opened in like 2017, then they released 1.1, and 1.2, and somewhere in there, TTR released field offices. and now we're working on friendOS, which is not toontown, but saying we are taking zero influences from our previous work would be an obvious lie. ....honestly in some ways, it is too similar for comfort....

and now, with all this stuff going on, and all these things being said, people seem to be low in spirits again. so i will give you some words of encouragement as a guy who has played this game for far too long:

you have a lot to look forward to. i mean, you certainly have more to look forward to regarding this game than i did in 2015. clash has gotten through many "difficult" circumstances and it will probably have more. there were points during 1.3 where i didn't know if it would even come out. but they are still here working on stuff. and of course, there are other private servers too. i am sure EVH will put out something really cool. some of my friends worked on "grindworks" but i have not played it for myself. TTR is still working on their next thing i'm sure. the game will probably always exist in some way. toontown has a much bigger fanbase than many of the things i'm into, which is really kind of crazy!

yes, as that one blogpost article pointed out, many of us 1.3 devs are gone. clash still has a team full of new, passionate people working on future content and im sure they will continue to create cool stuff. i hope you will support whatever they put out just as passionately.

in all truth, i care about you all much more than clash. mostly the gay players, and the furries, and all the artists, and the few of you who draw sexy duck shuffler on twitter. but of course, i am biased towards my own kind. i too am just some gay artist on the internet. you are the people important here, who are keeping the game alive. so remember that your passion is what fuels your game (all of toontown) to continue. i have never, not for a moment, taken any of you for granted. i am just some guy so anyone interacting with stuff i work on is amazing to me. i hope im able to buy a keychain from you some day. i don't even know if its possible for me to see all the fanart of the characters i designed but i still love and appreciate it all. ive seen quite a bit though. including some i saw on accident that i dont think you wanted me to see. Sorry

and the creative team. i am by no means perfect and i make my share of mistakes as we all do, but i always did as much as i could. you guys are the best and your contributions matter. every asset you create will forever be a gift to clash from you.

There are many people i could list out individually to thank, but i wouldn’t want to miss anyone. Because of my spontaneous health problems, I never got to give a formal goodbye to the clash crew so i couldn’t say thanks to anyone myself. I suppose none of them really know how i feel about any of this in general…. So if you worked with me on clash, i think very highly of you to this day.

for now i will leave you with this.

i love you very much.

thank you for playing our game.

thank you so much for loving the characters i put so much of myself into. it has not gone unnoticed from me.

please continue to be kind to the volunteers who work on clash.

please thank the moderators who moderate corporate clash. They see *everything*.

please be kind to yourself, be respectful to each other, and forgive yourself, and just for me, remember the poor Parrots who are going extinct due to the destruction of their habitats and homes (They are my favorite animal) and adopt don't shop. thank you.

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urloversdreamgrl · 2 days ago

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15 Things I Enjoyed About Season 4 🐻

After my second watch of S4, I actually liked it. Compared to S4, it feels like a step in the right direction. It does make you wonder if what happened in S1 and S2 were lightening in a bottle. Nothing's perfect, so I have my qualms, but for now, let's focus on the positive.

Anywho, in no particular order, a couple of things that gave me joy!

(spoilers ahead, chefs)

1. Ayo Edebriri as THE Sydney Adamu

I cannot speak the praises of Ayo Edebiri enough for me. We know the girl is funny, but her dramatic scenes! She really sucked me in and kept me there. I really admire her work ethic and how you can tell she cares about honing her craft both on and off screen. To me, she gave such a stand-out performance this season. Brava!

Plus, all I wanted from last season was a Sydney-centric focus. I was hoping for just an episode, but she took a way bigger role this time around. It's about time!

And thank you for finally giving Syd her flowers. She's been the heart of the whole restaurant staff since Episode 1, and I'm just glad that they acknowledged that canonically. Not a kinder soul than Ms. Adamu.

2. S4:E4 Worms

Ayo Edebiri and Lionel Boyce wrote the fuck outta that episode. It felt so tender and funny, gave us insight into Syd's internal and private life while also helping her character arc along. Shoutout to Lionel for pushing through his fears and accepting Ayo's offer to co-write. Hoping this open more doors for both of them in the future

I have to give up for the super talented Danielle Deadwyler. She had me cracking up the whole episode as Chantel. Everything felt so real and nature. This whole episode felt like home to me truly. Also Arion King as TJ is such a cutie pie. Hoping this isn't the last time we see Syd's folks. Manifesting an Adamu family party next season (hopefully), so we can see how they get down!

And thank you, Ayo and Lionel, for making my girl unapologetically Black. May their pillows be cool FOREVER!

3. Emmanuel Survives

Fuck them for trying to kill Robert Townsend (who needs to be on my screens more pronto)! I'm going to talk later about Syd and how the show decided to comfort her through this, but for now, that scene where father and daughter are reunited made me cry. Emmanuel's little tear over his baby's head. This relationship to me is so special because Syd really won the dad lottery, and Emmanuel won the daughter lottery.

I'm hoping next season we have Syd finally confiding in and truly opening up to her dad, and her dad being receptive and supportive in a way that I know he can.

4. SydRichie

To my SydRichies, y'all got feed tooooo good. Congratulations! Can't wait to see all the edits. It's crazy to see how their relationship evolved, and I'm so happy about where they are right now. Syd stabbed him just to be his plus-one to his ex-wife's wedding. Girl, Season 1, I thought Richie was irredeemable. Now, I'm rooting for him. That's the beauty of healing and leading with compassion and kindness.

5. Less Montages

Can we just fill this room with thank yous? Rewatching S3, it felt like the whole season was one big montage. Now, I liked some of them, but they should be used in moderation. The Bear tends to meander a lot which I think messes with the pacing, but this season felt like it was closer to finding a balance.

6. Them Gays 🏳️‍🌈

Happy Pride Month to the staff at The Bear, but specifically, Natalie and Chester. I, too, would freak out if my best "friend" was working along side a hot, talented, kind, and charming man in a cramped space, brushing against each other while making the most delicious desserts known to man.

Plus, of course, Nat had a homoerotic friendship turn sour, and of course, it was with Brie Larson lol. Bisexual women, stand up! Honorable mention to Syd's bisexual lightning when she's making them scallops.

7. Carmy Apologizing and Being Honest

It's about time. I was just as gagged as Sydney when Carmen started making her work life a bit easier by putting his ego aside. This is a really good start to him healing himself and to help heal some of the folks he harmed. Emotional regulation is important, and I'm hoping that it continues for him. And I hope that he heals his relationship to cooking. Also, heal his relationship with Syd because after the season finale, she has absolutely no trust (or maybe even good will) towards him anymore; that relationship is his most severed.

8. MarLuca + SydLuca

I'll take Marcus and Luca's relationship every which way. Two adorable, kind-hearted, and sensitive men working on bringing the sweetness of life to people. Perfect, I want 11 of them right now. When they are together, it just like magic to me. You want to talk about true mentorship and friendship? That's them. You want to talk about them being romantic and doing the nasty? I'm listening uwu.

Then I'm thankful for the crumb of Syd and Luca that we got. Just imagine in S5 (if there is one. hopefully), we see these three plus Tina make beautiful magic in that kitchen of love, expression, and understanding. Also, manifesting a love triangle a la Brandy and Monica's "That Boy is Mine" fanfic with Marcus, Syd, and Luca. I need that mess.

9. Richie and Tiffany's Dance

I love Richie and Tiffany's relationship. I love how Richie's journey allows him to earnestly work through his issues so he can still be a family with Tiff and Eva. Although, it looks a bit different.

10. Syd's Wedding Outfit

Syd looked tooo good in this two piece set. The colors and the way it is illuminates her figure. Dare I say -- best dressed? Thank you, Courtney Wheeler.

11. Gary THEE Sommelier + Tina's Dish

I'd trust him with my life. Plus, I loved seeing more of him, and how dedicated he is in learning something new. That's the same reason why I loved seeing Tina making her own dishes at home. These two inspire me. It's never too late to learn something new, and it's courage to keep trying and trying until you get it right. Plus, Tina and her hubbie are such cuties.

12. Marcus & Food and Wine's Best New Chef

At first, I was disappointed that Syd didn't receive the honor. When they kept mentioning her scallop dish, I thought it was her time to shine. However, once I got over my disappointment, I scream! Marcus come-up is crazy!

Mind you, he started at McDonald's, then started making bread, then taught himself how to make cakes and donuts. Went to Copenhagen and learned technique and got better. His mother passes, and he honors her in the most special and healthy of ways. He honors Mickey and Syd in similar ways, too. He's a hard worker, super imaginative/creative, and deserving. I love my Black Boy Baker!

13. Donna's Recovery

I've seen some critiques about how dangerous it can be to not value "no-contact" relationships. I feel that, and I advise everyone to do what feels good and safe to them.

I'm actually in awe of her sobriety and how she's navigated reconnecting to those she's harmed. She's not offended when people become tense or defensive around her, and she's not expecting any miraculous reunions. As a child of an alcoholic who has had to navigate a relationship while my parent is working on bettering themselves, I admire Jamie Lee Curtis's depiction of Donna Berzatto.

People can change. I feel if your eldest son (or any close person in your life) commits, then you should change. You better search inside yourself and work on yourself, especially if you want to help/protect the rest of your loved ones.

I, also, respect Carmy's hesitancy and anxiety. Donna is very traumatizing and triggering, and her parenting helped set a standard for Carmen. He stayed with Chef David and other abusive kitchens, and he replicated that environment because he associated authority with abuse and emotional deregulation. I hope as he works on himself, and maybe his relationship with his mom, he recognizes that he is capable and worthy of peace and love.

14. This Song

youtube

Y'all don't understand the connect that me and this song shares. It plays during the scene where Richie makes it snow for the family, and it literally brought me to tears. I've listened to it everyday since, and the album is really something. The lyrics are so touching and the chorus is truly the epitome of what this season is:

'Cause I know that you've been waiting Been such a long time you've been waiting And only you know where you have been to Only you know what you have been through There's better things you're gonna get into And I wanna be there too You know I do

Storer, you can barely write multiple fleshed-out, congruent storylines, but you and Josh Senior know how to pick out a song.

15. S4:E10 Goodbye

Ayo, JAW, and Ebon did what needed to be done. I felt all of that: the anger, sadness, regret, frustration, fear, relief, everything. Now, do I agree that Carmen should leave the restaurant? No, I want him to stay, follow through, and fall in love with cooking again even after they pay off the debt (and stop dumping Syd with his messes when his emotions need managing). However, I, also, see his point. He does need a change.

Richie and Carmy finally have the talk that's been brewing since S1:E1 System. Carmy finally takes his sister's advice and starts processing his emotions instead of running away. Syd finally lays into him. Thank you Lord! Omg, that was so cathartic. Once again, Ayo's acting! Her fear-fury mess. She really sold Sydney's heartbreak. My shayla.

Plus, Carm and Richie trying to get Syd to put the cigarette down? Iconic. I’ve rewatched this episode so many times now, and the sydcarmy of it all, the anguish, the breaking, the distance this has exuberated. Can’t wait for the fics and the meta. Omg omg omg

#the bear #the bear fx #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #im an equal opportunity shipper #sydrichie #sydcarmy #sydluca #marluca #marcus brooks #the bear gifs

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crossdressingdeath · 2 days ago

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I mean there were also rumours that they were ruling the country through King Markus while he was still alive. That's literally what got Cassandra's parents killed, they tried to rebel against him for being a Mortalitasi puppet. Cassandra also explains who the successors are: her family, and there are a lot of them. In DAI Cassandra is seventy-eighth in line for the throne, this is not a country short on successors unless someone has been a very busy assassin since the last time it came up. Although individual Mortalitasi have been caught trying to assassinate potential successors before; see Murder by Death Mages in Tevinter Nights, a story which notably also mentions that a common concern in Nevarra among those that don't think the Mortalitasi are saints sent by the Maker to prevent civil war is that they intend to take advantage of the chaos to openly take over. We don't find out which is true and personally I doubt either of them entirely are—in that story there was a plan by a man who hated the Mortalitasi to blame them for the recent assassinations committed by him, but it turns out that his assassin didn't carry out the assassinations because an actual Mortalitasi found out about it and thought it sounded like a great idea—but it's notable that both are a widespread belief. This is probably part of the reason why people keep trying to assassinate Markus; there's no shortage of potential heirs and the ones closest to the top are absolutely not going to be happy about the fact that the Mortalitasi are puppeting their father/grandfather/uncle/great-uncle/whatever's corpse to prevent any of them from taking the position.

Now the succession is a concern, Markus never actually named an heir (which is why people are worried about the Mortalitasi openly taking over on his death), but that's not hugely relevant to the "hey the Mortalitasi maybe should not be puppeting the king's corpse on account of how they do not in fact have the right to be doing that and it's creating increasing amounts of civil unrest" discussion. "The alternative would be bad" doesn't make the current situation good. We don't know if the people and nobility of Nevarra would be happy with whoever ends up on the throne, but we know they're not happy with the current situation! A king does not get at least two attempted rebellions (and it is really important to remember that at least one of those attempted rebellions was a direct result of him being seen as a Mortalitasi puppet; that was almost certainly while he was still alive given he got controlled with blood magic over a decade after that point during DAI, so if we assume that there's any truth to that—and we're given no reason to doubt it—the Mortalitasi were trying to rule through him well before "but what happens if we admit he's dead and there has to be a successor" was a concern) and at least twenty attempted assassinations aimed at him if he's doing a bang-up job. Especially not when those rebellions and assassinations have all failed; twenty failed assassinations by the Crows alone is beginning to look a lot like desperation! And it really doesn't help that Markus was known to be of "weak health and uncertain sanity" (World of Thedas v1) even prior to his death. This is not a man a group that was genuinely primarily concerned with stabilizing the country would want to keep on the throne, is what I'm saying. If they cared about that first and foremost they would've found a successor decades ago when Markus's mind started to go.

Also I'm gonna be real, it's very... simplistic thinking to say "if the Mortalitasi are secretly running the country by puppeting the king's corpse that makes them the same as Tevinter except goth". I mean, it's not the same situation at all. The mages in Tevinter aren't secretly doing shit, they just run the country. They're not the equivalent of the Mortalitasi, they're the equivalent of the Nevarran nobility and the king (presumably minus the corpse puppet bit). You may as well say Ferelden and Orlais are the exact same because they're both run by non-mages. Don't fall for the Chantry's "if mages have power it'll become a Tevinter situation" line! The Mortalitasi are going for more of a "secret shadow government/morally questionable advisor running the nation from behind the scenes" deal whereas the Magisterium is just in power as the noble class. Very different things. Orlais is the country basically the same as Tevinter, the presence or absence of magic is not the deciding factor.

And also, here's the really important bit: it's completely fine that the Mortalitasi are running a shadow government via King Corpse Puppet to give themselves power. It's great in fact. Can we give the morally ambiguous necromancers some love, here? Let them be a little fucked up! It's delightful that they're a little fucked up! You don't need to try to justify it as actually good! This fandom needs to get over the idea that a faction has to be seen as either completely unambiguously good or completely unambiguously evil, the Mourn Watch can be Undead University and also part of a larger organization that's been trying to control the king since before he died and took advantage of his death to really lock in their power over the government. It's a fantasy land where monarchies are treated as good things and every protagonist has a triple-digit body count, the Mourn Watch doesn't have to be keeping to strictly above board modern morality to be on the morally good side of the equation.

Y'know I love the Mourn Watch's corpse puppet king as much as the next person but where are my horror fics. "The necromancers are puppeting the king's corpse so that they can rule the country in all but name and everyone knows they're doing it but no one can do anything about it and they just keep throwing assassins at it because they don't know what else to do but it keeps getting up again" is such a delicious horror concept.

#dragon age #it's genuinely hilarious seeing people insist they want grey morality in a fandom that keeps trying to justify any bad thing their faves do #as Actually Good #or demonize anything the characters/factions they don't like do as Pure Evil #like gang c'mon let the necromancers puppeting the king's corpse after at least one rebellion that happened because they were ruling #through him be a little morally messed up. they don't have to be secretly doing it for Good Reasons #and there's no evidence they are

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bewitched-hours · 2 days ago

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Hihihihihihihi i'm back from crashing outtesayfiudshisfuufbl

Anyway i'm sorry if my friend had annoyed you, me too if i annoyed you (it wont happen again i promise)/srs/pos

Anyway i guess i only exist in ur blog to continew the fic ^q^ (The bluudud one tho i want to req for something else after its finish)

Anywas after a while the spectre got really REALLY annoyed and decided to give reader imnsomina to make her go crazy or sum shit since ofc the spectre is cruel and doesn't want anybody to have a happy ending like an asshole they are. Did that stop bluudud, absolutly NOT! He still finds a way to make her sleep and goodjob he's ofically has a crush on her ^o^

I'm burned out and hopefully there's a part 5 or 6 (if i have idea )

-Kikiki Anon

Dw Kikiki! It's honestly pretty hard to annoy me lol I have technically already started writing on this but I can luckily just cut and paste what I have into here so nothing's lost! (And a part 5 would definitely have to be requested lol)

Reader has once. more. again. She/Her-

"NO- I'm not doing that!" Bluudud protested.

You had been watching him play one of your favourite games and although he's grown to actually like it since it had a more complicated advancement system than he expected, he's still stubborn on some of your requests.

But you were huffy. Today was one of those days where you had trouble forming actual words because you were thrown into so many rounds the 'day' prior so today you just communicated with motions.

But what was Bluudud protesting against?

Well, you wanted him to take in a black cat he found in the caves after battling a boss. He didn't want to though because the added responsibility was annoying to him.

"[Reader], I swear-" He grumbled as you bumped your head against him in a stubborn motion. It wasn't rough or anything, just slightly harder than your usual(and affectionate) bumps. Your low growls told him you weren't budging but combined with the bump, it was more like a plea to just do it.

"Ugh, fine..." You finally heard him say before the game announced the cat had been rescued. You were so happy your tail thumped against the ground a couple times before you bumped him again with a satisfied purr coming from you.

You were like a cat yourself and it certainly didn't help that Bluudud started petting you in private whenever you won in an 'argument'. "You're lucky I enjoy the ego-boost..."

Although his words may sound clear, you knew he enjoyed your presence. You just didn't let anyone mention it or tease him about it because that usually ended with him completely ignoring you for Spectre knows how long until he gives into your charms again.

To be fair, it was pretty funny to watch you nearly bodyslam into the other killers like an unaware seal whenever they're about to bring up how you get special treatment from him.

But the Spectre wasn't exactly one to let the routine continue...

So, it decided to give you violent hallucinations to prevent you from sleeping or even leaving your room at night. And who was first to notice? Of course Bluudud.

The lack of sleep had you turn aggressive and a lot more irritable... It made you act almost like 1x... (Please don't come for me 1x simps)

Frankly, it annoyed everyone even more than if you had just been made to forget again.

It was bad enough that you'd attack and scream at the hallucinations which sometimes woke up the others but they didn't want to deal with you attacking them too so they usually waited it out and got used to the noise.

All but one...

"Alright, alright, stop!" His voice grabbed your attention immediately as you froze in place, body still shaking from the hallucinations attacking you.

But instead of saying anything else, Bluudud grabbed one of your front paws and dragged you onto your bed. You shortly took notice that the blood on your paws and on the bed didn't stain him...

It wasn't real...

But without so much as a second thought, he huffed and practically pushed your head against his chest. "There. If I don't react to it, it's not real, got it?" His tone was rather annoyed but you could still detect the softness in his voice that you were used to as you emitted a quiet purr and with your arms wrapped around him, you could finally sleep thanks to the sound of his heartbeat.

He was real... Because how could you hallucinate someone like him?

To the fortune of the other killers, this became a habit. You'd fight your hallucinations, Bluudud interrupts and forces you to sleep by showing you what is actually real.

And let's be honest, your purring helped him sleep too but you know not to let him know that-

But if the Spectre couldn't get you to be in a panic at night, might as well extend the hallucinations to the rounds!

They would plague you during these hunts, taunting you and making you even more aggressive than you already were as you'd rip the survivors to shreds and immediately run to Bluudud when the round was over.

He was safe. He told you what was or wasn't real and he let you feel more sane.

Did you have attachment issues? Probably.

But did he welcome your affection all the same? Abso-fucking-lutely.

It was a bit comical to watch him alternate between being affectionate in his grumpy ways and yelling that he wasn't getting soft... Even though he was.

"Seriously?! Him???" Pr3typriincess had dragged you off to another tea party for gossip but this time you had decided to tell her about your little crush on your little streamer.

You could only shrug, slightly embarrassed as you weren't sure what the problem was. "He gives me special treatment, what can I say?" You chuckled awkwardly, sipping your tea as you could only listen to her rant about what a mess you are if you think someone like Bluudud fits for you...

But it later turned out you made a mistake telling her as she and c00lkidd began planning to set you both up immediately.

First it was through simple stuff. Luring Bluudud to outings using you as a bargaining chip, pushing you to show some extra affection and whatnot...

It was surprisingly effective. Bluudud didn't question anything and just allowed you to basically start doing more couple things. He'd even admit that you two basically were one now but not to tell anyone else.

Though your expression did betray that promise when Pr3typriincess had asked about it...

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

#forsaken roblox #forsaken #roblox forsaken #forsaken x reader #forsaken x y/n #bluudud forsaken #bluudud x child reader

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fandomsmadness · 1 day ago

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TBHX episode 13 rant

Raving reviews this week, the return of the groan-worthy action cliffhangers, and a lot of appreciation for feminist themes.

Almost missed the title card in this one because I've gotten used to them being front and center. Anyway, spoilers below cut

Firstly, let me go and find my humble cap because after spending so long (along with most of the fandom) groaning and laughing in equal measure at a "loli" hero, now I feel like a goddamned jerk who really should've known better. This episode properly owned me and I will take that well deserved kick in the butt and apologize to Loli for every time I looked at that character PV and thought "huh she seems kinda shallow."

This theme has grabbed me by the hair and is refusing to let go. Such a strong hero motivation too. As someone who wasn't really expecting much out of the Loli arc, this hit me like a sledgehammer. So much to unpack, but in as brief terms as possible, two aspects I really love about how this theme relates to other worldbuilding aspects:

Queen and how she's serving as inspiration to all girls out there. This is why representation of any and all kinds matter

Trust value and how people's perceptions of you influence your own abilites, regardless of how skilled or strong you actually are (are we projecting into real life? Oh definitely)

But also, massive props to Luo Li for deciding to become a hero in her own (very cute very girly) terms and not deciding to be hyper macho when it was clear it's not her style, just because other people want to. This theme of people's perception of you affecting how they treat you? Personal attacks all around, I haven't felt this called out in ages.

It's also very telling, and again reflective of real life, that Luo Li needed to find another girl to really understand her because all the men (by which I mean, that one guy) want her help fulfilling their own visions. Side note: Men suck.

The only guy here who was not warranting my wrath was professor Luo, but even he is shown (like a lot of Asian men, tbh) to be very caring, engaged in, and involved at work while neglecting his own family. Still, at least he didn't grind Luo Li's dreams to the ground, I suppose.

I could gush about the patriarchy and feminist themes in this episode forever, but we move on, before this turns into an academic essay.

Second highlight: Creepy guy aka Ghostblade-is-that-you???

Ngl my first reaction was "Spiderman Noir? What are you doing here?"

Somehow, LHO made a creep look socially-awkward-in-a-kinda-cute-way and I am having mixed reactions to the fact that I'm even thinking this is kinda cute. Is it just me?

Anyway, if this is Ghostblade (and I really hope it is) then what is he doing? Watching over Nuonuo? Is this the daughter? Or is he protecting her for some reason because he knew about the DJ whoever and his musical atrocities?

Speaking of DJ Shindig (can I send flowers to whoever came up with that name) is this a hero gone rogue? I thought only Zero did that. Is this guy allied with Aether Labs/Spotlight org/fear?

Someone somewhere mentioned that despite the English sub (as usual) not being accurate, the Chinese names for Glimmer lab and Aether labs are the same, so.... the rise of Spotlight?

Overall, a fantastic episode because it was heavy on the worldbuilding and related themes, gave us a lot to think about in terms of Luo Li, feminism, timeline, trust value, and most importantly Spotlight, but also is a great introduction to her arc as a whole. And hey, it's still June, so happy pride again to all the lesbians who are screaming out there.

Also, she's so small. Not even 20? Adorable.

Other minor things:

Is it a sub issue or is this ep more heavy on the wording? Like I swear the language didn't get this flowery until now-

This suit cool. That's all

Lastly, fuck you guys

And three more weeks until we circle back to exactly what Big Johnnie was pissed off about over here, lest we forget

#tbhx #to be hero x #tu bian yingxiong x #tbhx spoilers #tbhx queen #tbhx loli #tbhx rant #tbhx episode 13

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getmeoutofhell · 20 hours ago

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Slashers W/ Gorgeous F! Reader

𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬:

He’s so nervous about approaching you that his usual confidence seems to vanish whenever he sees you. Even with his big ego, he hesitates; it took Stu a lot of convincing just to get him to look in your direction. Despite his efforts to play it cool, his nerves are evident. In his eyes, you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, and the moment he lays eyes on you, he can't help but think of all the ways he could fuck you.

“Let me take you on a date, beautiful,” he says with a charming smile. You find him quite smooth and, without hesitation, agree to go out with him. Little did you know, just a few weeks later, he would try to take your life.

𝐒𝐭𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫:

Mr. Blush-a-Lot here! He'll become obsessed with you as soon as his eyes land on you. "She's so pretty," he tells Billy constantly, which drives Billy crazy. Eventually, after a couple of weeks of observing you, he decides to ask you out. You think he's cute, so when he shows up at your house to pick you up, you smile at him and say, "You're so pretty." Everything turns out good in the end! Besides the occasional Ghostface attacks, he turns out to be a great boyfriend. He always makes sure you feel protected—especially from himself!

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫:

“Hey, I’m Charlie. I’m your partner for the project.” That’s when he first sees you, and he's in awe, too speechless to say anything in your presence. “Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” you reply, and you exchange numbers to keep in touch outside of school. As you work on the project together, you manage to pass with a grade of 90. Slowly, you start to develop feelings for him. “You’re cute,” you say, and he blushes at your compliment as he walks away.

𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤:

Straight to the point—if she thinks you’re attractive, she won’t hesitate to let you know. “You’re hot; we should hang out.” Obviously, you agree—who wouldn’t? Even though you’ve only known each other for a couple of months, she asks you out on a date. She requests that you keep it private and not tell anyone that she asked you out. However, she has no problem showing you off at school or anywhere else for that matter.

𝐓𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞:

“Hey, hunny bun.” She was very subtle with her words. When she first saw you, she seemed cute and shy. You initially thought she didn't like you because she was so quiet, but you were mistaken. She calls you "Puddin" as a nickname, and you still had no idea she had a crush on you. Tiffany is incredibly gorgeous, so she had no problem finally approaching you and asking for your number. You both end up dating, but Chucky was not too happy about it.

𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 (𝐭𝐡𝐭𝐣𝐛):

He has to practice both physically and mentally to see you. He doesn’t want to say the wrong things, especially considering his age; you would expect him to know a few things about love and how to treat others. He can’t help but call you beautiful every five minutes. He’ll ask you random questions and expects you to answer them correctly. Don’t worry, he doesn’t call you “simple”—he actually uses your real name.

𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐧:

He will definitely sexualize you—I'm not joking. He may call you beautiful, but he often goes overboard with compliments. However, if you continue to date him, he might evolve into more of a boyfriend material over time. He struggles with communication, especially with girls, so you are the first person he’s genuinely trying to date.

𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐧:

He floods your phone with heart emojis. While he may not be able to speak, he definitely knows how to express his feelings for you through writing. He protects you and shows admiration for you in his own unique way. Art will always be present in your space, and he likes to gift you things he finds useful.

𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐲:

He's such a man-baby. He gets really shy when he first talks to you—he blushes, gets flustered, and sometimes even stutters. At first, you thought he was adorable, so eventually, you both hung out and started dating. His Ghostface side started to show a couple of months into the relationship, which took you by surprise. Even with his strange behavior, you still adored him, especially when he got jealous or possessive of you.

#slashers #slashers x reader #slashers x y/n #art the clown #ghostface x reader #ethan landry #ghostface #ethan landry x reader #art the clown x reader #stu matcher x reader #tiffany valentine x reader #jennifer check x reader

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the-masked-society · 3 days ago

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Y'know what?

And even if we disregard for a second the traumatic scarring of essentially making him aware to the reality of life before he reached double digits (if we do the math, he is currently 11 years old in the show, and we know the adventure happened on the 3th year anniversary of his dad's remarriage. So, even if we were to go on the assumption that Kousei kept Satomi a secret until their marriage, and told Koji "the truth" only before the wedding happened, that would make him 8 years old at the time. For comparison- look at Tommy, a kid from the same age range. His innocence. Imagine taking Tommy and dropping on him the concept of death without sugarcoating it or letting him grieve at his own pace. I'm willing to give Kousei the grace that he probably did let him grieve those three years and wanted him to move on only since it's been three years, but he still had no right to dictate how long it took him, especially if he remember that all this pain which is very real is based on a lie of his making, and he only said it because he wanted Koji to move on to the life he wanted him to live.)

So even if we disregard the trauma of his connection to the world and to adults, and we say that "he didn't know what else to tell him" (which is a bullcrap excuse), why didn't he tell him he had a brother? Why they never met?

Even if you want to say that "in Japan of this age it was customary to not tell because this way it was easier to build a new life, and maybe Kousei didn't even know Koichi existed either", and to that I call bullshit.

I'm a dude, and bodily we're a minor, but even I can understand that Tomoko is a mother, and she probably fought for her children and her custody of them- proof of that, she had one. She still had one of her kids despite her lower class single income wage. And considering that they are twins, there is no way he could know one existed and the other did not. He deliberately ignored one's existence and life. and while Koichi on the outside came out unblemished, inside he has a lot of trauma mirroring Koji's (such as the not depending on people unless he need to) and even original ones like the financial stress from his mother's hardships, and stress over her wellbeing. Yes it did not stop him from creating friendships, but we saw it did scar him rather indefinitely, and that his trauma also came from a rather young age.

Add to that the pain of discovering a sibling? And one that supposedly live a better life than you because that's what you see from an outside glance of his big house and his dog and the "happy family". That is immeasurable pain.

Think how Koji felt, and he didn't have the couple of months that it probably took Koichi to find him which yes was also the time to let the bitterness simmer, but also let him digest it a bit. The information fell on Koji pretty much from the sky- while said sibling was between life and death, controlled against his will.

And we never actually got to see or know what happens between Koichi and their father later on after he heals. Do they have a relationship? If I were in his shoes I would turn my back to this man eternally, or keep the very cold basics of a relationship so he will not stop me from meeting my brother, which legally he can till 18.

Kousei's inflicted trauma and impact on both of his sons is just overall piles of shit piled on top of each other only to make place for more shit. I wish we could get a more inside look, or meet the person in real life, so I can kill him by hand.

- Chase {He/Him}

I've been in a salty mood lately, so here's my salt on Kousei for the day:

Why would you even consider lying to your adolescent son about the existance of a sibling he's doesn't remember, and the death of his very much still alive mother; allowing him to grieve over a lie and dwell on it for years, instead of simply telling him you got divorced, while you get to move on and get remarried to your new wife??

And then have the audacity to be disappointed in him when he can't bring himself to warm up to or welcome his new step-mother with open arms?

And then not even apologize for it?

That's some very casual scarring your child for life there.

That is neglectful and it is abusive.

#🧨 chase #he/him #if i can add on our system experiences #im a Takuya introject (pretty source separated) and my job is to take care of one of the kojis on a daily and hourly basis #he is very much like his source character- but very much more in touch and tune with the trauma #the biggest traumas i work with him through are not from the digital world or even almost losing his brother #it's solely from his dipshit excuse of a dad #and i been working with him for the last 2 to 3 years #just to give perception #||#the masked society #previous tags >#kouji minamoto #worst father of the year award goes to...#kousei minamoto #digimon frontier #digimon season 4

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sigamicentral · 11 months ago

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So I've recently found out that someone went to the trouble of remaking our old icon to use as their own. Since I've been wanting to do some more sprite edits for a bit, I decided I could also share them for anyone who wanted to use them for whatever reason.

I also remade our old icon (edit: I now realize Amitie doesn't have the same sprite because I made these before leaving the house for an interview fhbfjdbhd) because it was a bit crusty (was only supposed to be an icon and an emote in the Discord) and put the same sprites in a new pose.

(Old icon for comparison. It's so crusty!!!)

#sig #amitie #puyo puyo #sigami #mod post #sprite edits #might also post some of the Discord's emotes #I'm real happy with how a lot of them turned out #especially the animated ones #also it's a good thing we got that new icon when we did i guess #the person i saw who remade the old one isn't someone we wanna be associated with

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puzzledboi · 1 day ago

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lmao, looking at old headcanons i made on this blog 7 years ago is making me realize that even tho i haven't actively written him since 2019, yuugi has somehow grown with me despite having been a dormant muse. even tho i've been roleplaying since 2011, ygo was the first fandom i tried out indie rp for ( and actually the first animated thing i rp'd as well ), and in the many years since then i've grown as a writer in many ways, and i approach the way i write muses differently than what i did when i first picked up yuugi as a muse. because now i look at those old headcanons or random ooc posts talking about him and i just cringe a little. not because i disagree with everything i said, but a good chunk of it i just look at now and just go ".... yeah, no, that's not him."

#△･ﾟ 𝑶𝑶𝑪 ¸ i'm just trying to vibe #i know it's common look back at old writings you did and cringe. it means you've grown.#but i feel like in this case it's a bit different because it's not the writing itself ( i'm actually pretty happy with past me )#it's just the way i approach things.#i think i inserted A LOT of my personal interests into his portrayal back then #but ever since i picked up sebastian from kuro as a muse back in 2019 #i've just been REALLY adamant about not inserting my own interests too much into my muses.#relating to a muse and taking advantage of that is one thing #but giving them the same interests as me even if it makes little sense for them to actually have that is what i cringe at.#there's no REAL thought process behind it other than ''i just felt like giving him this hc''.#and it's just so obvious that the 'reason' for it is bc it's something relating to /me/ and not necessarily my muse.#and while it's fine if other ppl doing that with their muses -#for me it feels way for fulfilling and challenging to give my muse a hc and then work out a reason for them to have that.#ofc not every hc needs to be like that - it really depends on how big or small it is.#don't get me wrong a piece of me is always going to be in ALL my muses because that's what makes someone's portrayal different from others'#but there's a different between that and straight up turning a muse into YOU.#but yeah it's just the way i approach things that have drastically changed and it's just so funny to me.#i really need to sort out his old hcs but UUGGHHHh it's SO much work.....

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couldeatthatgirlforlunch · 7 months ago

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To Your Love That Smells Like Crazy

Synopsis: Damian presented as an alpha, to everyone's despair. He announced he found a mate, to everyone's skepticism. You're the perfect omega, to everyone's delight.

Pairing: Yandere!Alpha!Batboys X Gn!AFAB!Omega!Reader

Tw: 18+ pwp; noncon/dubcon smut; noncon drugging; creepy batfamily members feeling attracted to Reader when they were still 15, but nothing sexual or romantic between them happens until they're 18; this chapter is mostly Damian x Reader; ABO, Reader is an omega, all the batboys are alphas; Heat symptoms; Damian and Reader are 15 at first, when the smut happens they're 18, Tim is three years older than them, Jason is five years older, Dick is 10 years older and Bruce is on his 40s; Implied future gangbang? They want to share Reader (polyamory) but right now the real action is just between Damian and Reader; Loss of virginity on both parts; Implied that Damian is also inexperienced on kissing and Reader knows a little more about that; Fingering!R receiving; Slight schoolgirl/boy/person!Reader; Reader wears lipgloss, nail polish and earrings; Omegas breasts produce milk during heat; Some breastfeeding; Breeding kink; Handcuffs; The word ‘rape’ is used twice; Lots of crying; Nipple play; Dirty talk; Slight voyeurism; Unprotected sex; Negative and selfdeprecating thoughts; Claiming ownership (biting); English isn't my first language.

Word count: 4,7k

Requested? No.

Extra notes: Planning on making one pwp chapter for each batboy, and then a last one with no smut. Also, I think I'm gonna start posting on AO3 since the tw are getting worse...

General masterlist | To Your Love That Smells Like Crazy - Series masterlist

Damian was territorial, dominant and temperamental since the family had known him. Maybe he was born like that, maybe he wasn't, they couldn't know, so, what they most hoped for was that those were just personality traits, maybe coping mechanisms, and the puppy would present as an omega or beta one day, and then maybe the hormones would make him calm down. It was a small possibility, but one could only dream, right?!

Well, those hopes were crushed when, at his fifteenth birthday, Damian woke up growling at the mix of strong alpha scents stinking his room, his territory, and started pacing inside there, not allowing anyone but the old beta Alfred to come in.

He calmed down after a couple of hours, came out of his room to eat breakfast, assessed and scented the rest of his territory (everyone's territory, really, the manor was the family’s home), and maybe humor his inner alpha by subjugating the rest of the pack. It didn't work, obviously, they were all mature alphas who went through puberty already and knew how to (mostly) manage conflict with a newly-turned alpha who still smelt like milk and was just overwhelmed with hormones.

After a full belly, it was decided he shouldn't have to go to school for the first few days (something the teenager was happy with), to learn to control his mood and impulses, visit a specialized doctor to be sure what kind of suppressants were better suited for his organism, and so he could go through his first rut in peace.

A few days later, Damian went back to school, nose itching from some not-so-pleasant alpha scents, some weak beta scents, some sugary omega scents, and a lot of milky scents coming from most students, especially unpresented puppies.

He wondered how adults live like this, if he would just get used to it, and it wouldn't bother him so much one day. One thing was to feel the smell of flowers or food, another thing was to feel people’s pheromones. But his train of thoughts were halted when he felt you.

Not even inside the classroom yet, but he could sniff you out and find you if he wanted to. Strong, yet suave, soft. Strawberries. And milk. It made his whole body shudder and tremble. Now he knew why his family occasionally asked where the delicious scent stuck to his clothes came from. Now he knew why alphas turned their heads and stared at you so much when you both were walking around. It was all you. His best friend.

Damian stared openly and unconsciously, while you made your way to him none the wiser and sat down at his side, and he almost got annoyed when, at first, you didn't seem to notice his new presentation, as if you didn't even acknowledge him as an alpha yet. But then you turned and stared at him strangely.

— Dude, why’re you staring so mu- Oh. — You blinked, finally having realized where the new musky scent was coming from. — You're lucky you smell good. My neighbor smells like feet.

When he came home, he announced he had an omega.

Obviously, that left everyone bewildered as to what he meant by that, it was impossible for during his first day back outside as an alpha, he already had a mate. But he didn't have to explain much for them to understand, the scent on his clothes was enough proof as to why he wanted you for himself.

After that, Damian invited you to hang out with him at the manor for the first time. It caused a reaction in everyone, and all of them were home, of course they were, Damian wanted to show off his future mate, and you had to meet the family, since he single-handedly decided you were going to join their pack already.

As you walked past each door on the way to Damian's room, everyone had a reaction.

The old beta and grandfather, Alfred, was very polite and nice, he smelt like tea. He smiled more freely with how sweet you were, amused by Damian's clear crush.

Next, you passed Dick by the gym, he smelt spicy, and his door was open, so he could peek better to satiate his curiosity when Damian's crush arrived, yet, he didn't expect to almost fall from his stretching position when he finally took a whiff from your sweet scent for the first time, instead of just the faint and weak thing that occasionally got stuck on Damian's clothes and hair. He managed to look mostly presentable even though he almost sprinted to the corridor to meet you. Dick was even more pleased to see you were beautiful, even in your modest school uniform. He forced himself to hold back and stay in the gym when Damian decided the interaction took long enough, and pulled you to keep walking.

Jason was next, he was in the library. His scent was thick. Woody. He coughed around his drink when he felt your scent, and Damian rolled his eyes at him. Jason’s whole body froze when he saw how soft you looked, clearly an omega. He noted that you looked older than fifteen, but Jason knew you were just a couple of months older than Damian, and you still smelled like milk. His attraction to you bothered him because he couldn't ignore your still-milky scent, and he was already imagining how you would smell like when you fully reached maturity. Your hair was shiny and looked soft, like clouds and cotton-candy. He wanted to stick his nose there and hug you. You looked the perfect company for a nap (and more). Damian quickly steered you away to keep walking.

Next was Tim, he was in his room, and he smelt like peppermint. He always kept the door closed, but during your visit, it was open wide, due to his curiosity to meet you, everyone knew that. Tim snapped his eyes away from his computer when he felt you, and stared at you wide-eyed when you appeared. You didn't even come inside, Damian didn't want to feel your scent coming off of Tim's room to haunt him every time he walked past that door for the next days. It would definitely make him want to kill his brother. Tim tried to burn your image to his brain to the smallest details. He noted the color of your nail polish, your earrings, the thing dangling from your backpack, the shine and rosiness of your lip gloss. Tim specially liked your soft-spoken voice, and it bothered him how polite, neutral and distant it was, because clearly you both didn't now each other, you were just there as Damian's friend, meeting his older brother for the first time, and just wanted to go hole up inside Damian's room as soon as possible to avoid the weird interaction.

Soon, your wishes came through, and you spent the next few hours there with Damian basically teaching you everything and doing your homework. It was a new behavior, he never did that out of instinct before, some people asking him for help would annoy him, others, like you, he would calmly help out of the hidden kindness in his heart, but he never took initiative before. You brushed it off as just new alpha behavior and just used his either gentlemanly or condescending behavior, if it meant you could gain things out of it and be lazy.

At dinner, you finally met his father. Bruce Wayne was the alpha of a pack full of alphas and a beta. His himbo and playboy persona gave you the impression that he wasn't the most dominant alpha around, but you were proven wrong when you felt his sandalwood aroma and saw his towering frame. His personality was the same you saw on the TV, though, pleasant like a TV host or just a popular guy. On the inside, he was fixated with you, ignoring your milky childish scent and your school uniform. He wanted you around the house more. God knows how much a bit more of softness could help the family’s dynamic. Maybe that was what was missing, an omega around the place. Like you. Actually, it could be you. He thought about convincing Damian to stick to living in the manor even after you were both married adults. Or you could be Bruce’s when you were of age. Wait, how old were you?

Alfred drove you and Damian to your place after everything was done, all the alphas with a heavy heart, bothered that you had to go, that you couldn't spend the night with them yet. Even if you were already theirs.

It took a lot to convince Damian to share you, but eventually, he begrudgingly agreed, they were a pack, after all, not just a family, they stick together, take care of each other and of each other's interests. Having something that wasn't just vigilantism in common would be good bonding for them, and the closer a pack could get, the better. That he knew. A pack sharing someone wasn't exactly unheard of either.

After that, Damian started inviting you to the manor more often. Almost every week you were there. Your parents started saying that Damian probably was interested in you, but you laughed it off, never thinking an alpha like him would be interested in an omega like you.

The family made the best of that time to get you used to them, to their dynamic, and to make you feel at home, safe, trustful. They also wanted your scent to get stuck everywhere. To get to know you. To learn everything about you. To make plans.

When Damian's 18 birthday came, you were already legally an adult too, and they invited you over, saying it was a birthday party. When you got there, the party consisted in only you and the family.

The conversation was nice.

They put drugs on your piece of cake that simulated an out of cycle heat.

It started with fatigue.

Then fever.

Your eyes got blurred.

You thought you were getting sick, and just planned on taking cold medicine when you got home.

The alphas were slowly coming closer and circling you, unnoticed.

You felt weird in your intimate parts, maybe you needed to pee.

You stood up, but your knees were weak, and you almost fell, if it wasn't for Dick, who caught you mid-air.

All scents became clearer when your eyes locked. You wondered what the look on his face meant, confused.

You felt their excitement, and arousal. And you felt something poking your thigh.

You felt your own underwear getting wet.

You asked them to take you home, but they denied. That made you feel antsy, so you tried searching for your phone to call your parents to pick you up, but you couldn't find it. It got especially hard when Damian picked you up and started walking up the stairs with you.

— It's okay, omega. You're okay with us. I’m going to take care of you… — Your hands trembled when he purred the word ‘omega’, mumbled those words, and nuzzled the side of your head with his nose, taking a deep breath from your sweet strawberry scent, and faint sex smell, due to the wetness between your thighs. No longer any hint of milk anymore, since you already reached maturity just a couple of months before him, and now he also didn't smell like puppy anymore.

— N-No… D-Dami… W-Where are you taking me? What a-are you gonna do? … I wanna go home… I’m not feeling good… — You whimpered and tried to weakly move out of his hold, it didn't work.

— You are home, beloved. And I’m going to help you feel better… With my knot. — Your eyes widened. — I will fuck you real good and fill you with my semen. I know it is your first time, it is mine too. But do not worry, your heat will make it painless and you will be satisfied with me. — You whimpered higher, your omega was preening, crying for a knot, your pussy squeezing hard, but your mind knew it was wrong. Clearly something was wrong. Why was no one helping? Couldn't they see you were caught by surprise with your heat and were saying no to him? Why were they looking at you like that? A cough coming from somewhere seemed to snap Damian out of it, like he remembered something. — Ah, right. And then, you will receive father’s, and my siblings' knots. I will go first since it’s my birthday and I claimed you first. — Damian blushed, despite his smug tone.

You cried for help, at first, it came out weak, as your omega didn't want to make something the alphas would disapprove of, but the closer you got to the room they designated for the moment, the reality of what was coming was overtaking your instincts. Especially after your belly started to hurt at being empty of seed.

The alphas only shushed you, and you helplessly watched as Tim handcuffed one of your hands to the bedpost as soon as Damian laid you down on the nest they made for you, and Dick and Jason each started taking your sneakers off. Bruce was standing a few feet away from the bed, Alfred at his side. The oldest alpha’s eyes were glued to your laid down figure, hungry and serious. Darker than you had ever seen. You've never been more scared of him before. He occasionally commented something to Alfred, that you vaguely registered as instructions, that also started being given to his children.

You weakly tugged at the handcuff and tried to sit up at the same time, but Damian pushed himself between your legs, and held you down by the waist. Dick and Jason held your legs open to accommodate him better, and your overwhelmed brain barely noticed their hands also rubbing your ankles and thighs. You've never felt more aroused and more scared your whole life.

Alfred exited the room to start doing Bruce's orders, and he kept watching. Tim, who had disappeared out of your line of sight for a second, came back holding a long, shiny and glinting pair of scissors. You tugged harder at the restraints and tried to push your body up to get away, thinking he was going to hurt you, but he just purred at you to calm you down, unfortunately, it worked, and your pussy tightened when Damian hissed at feeling your center pressing against his hard cock, when you pushed your hips up and against his. You could feel him poking your underthigh, only the clothes separating you.

— It's okay, omega, I’m just cutting off your clothes, it's gonna be easier to strip you that way. — Tim said soothingly, while purring and almost cooing at you. Your eyes widened when he said that, and actually started cutting your shirt open, until Dick was able to pull the ruined fabric off from under you.

All three alphas started purring at seeing your braless torso, chest already swelling with milk and nipples darkened. Omegas body produced milk when they had a puppy to feed, or during heats, and ruts, when an alpha was in a rut, and the omega was helping them, because the body understood it was a rough period, where a lot of energy was spent and not much nutrition came, since both were too busy procreating and too weak to go searching for food, so the milk was a lot helpful in those moments. There were even historical moments where that skill was useful in other contests, when the economy got so bad that most packs were starving, and the omegas of the pack helped them survive with milk.

Damian bit his lips and brought his right hand up to your left breast, squeezing it softly. Everyone was entranced, watching a single drop of milk come out, the breast not full yet. You arched your back, it felt good, so good that for a moment you forgot why you wanted to get away. Damian also didn't help your train of thought when his thumb started rubbing your stiff nipple, sending ripples of pleasure through your body and forcing your eyes closed. You forced yourself not to make a sound.

You snapped out of it when you felt Tim cutting your pants and underwear off. Your eyes widened at the feeling of being exposed and the almost cold air that made your hair stand. Your legs trembled and you felt Dick and Jason's hands working, uncoordinated pads of fingers dancing across the inside of your thighs.

Your arousal’s scent freely infastated the room now, and half of them growled, in exception of Bruce and Tim, who were keeping themselves more calm and collected.

— It's time to go now, let Damian and (Y/N) have their moment. — Bruce announced and you watched as Damian smirked, then you hid your face, sobbing against the pillow. He cooed at you while his other hand went down between your legs and started rubbing slow circles while pressing against your clit.

Dick sighed.

— Take care of them, Dami. Have fun and enjoy. — Dick patted Damian's shoulder, but you weren't sure the alpha above even noticed you, too busy gazing at you and your body, enjoying how warm and wet you were.

— Yeah, remember to do what we taught you, baby bird. — Damian only hummed at Jason's comment, and leaned down, pressing his chest to yours. He brought his mouth to the juncture of your neck and shoulder, and started leaving a trail of kisses up your neck, and under your jaw.

It was your first time feeling someone doing this, when you read fanfics and books, you never thought this could feel good like the writing always described, but it actually did, and you hated that you liked it, crying harder against the pillow and hoping his lips weren't moving closer to your face because he wanted to kiss you. You felt his nose sniffing your scent gland.

Tim hummed.

— Be careful with them, and don't take too long, everyone wants their turn. — Tim warned softly and was the last to exit the room, closing the door, but not locking it.

Damian’s warm breath huffed against your neck.

— Finally alone… — Damian whispered with a hoarse voice that made your hair stand. You whimpered and squeezed your eyes harder.

— Please, let me go… You don't have to do this, I won't tell anyone- — Your sentence was cut short when one of Damian's long and thick fingers invaded your entrance delicately. Your mouth opened on a silent scream, and the alpha watched you with lust in his eyes.

— Beloved… Omega… You will come to like this, I promise you that… — He sucked a faint hickey on your scent gland. His right hand started exploring the rest of your body, fumbling and squeezing the softer parts he found out he liked the most. You couldn't control your panting and small moans when his finger curled upwards inside you, touching your sweet spot.

— D-Dam-... A-Alpha… — You arched your back when he started fingering you faster, your sensitive walls milking a single finger, crying for a thick knot, thirsty for his seed, your womb empty of puppies.

— See… — He kissed your cheek. — We barely started, and yet… — Another kiss, closer to your mouth. — You're already dripping and earning for my knot… — Your lips met, it didn't seem like he had much experience, maybe it was his first kiss? Either way, you knew a little more about what you were doing, and he quickly learned. In just a few minutes, he was dominating your mouth. The younger alpha gave a slow bite to your lips when a second finger joined the first in fucking you, wet noises eccoing around the room.

You gained some clearance after a few moments, when he took his fingers off. You whined, not knowing if it was to plead him not to rape you, or because you wanted his cock stuffing you as soon as possible. You tried to force your head away from his, and he relented, pausing the kiss, but only to start taking his own clothes off. If your face wasn't already hot from the fever and arousal, you knew it would be now, feeling shy with everything new that was happening and his naked body, and surprised that you never once noticed his muscles before.

While afraid, you peeked down and saw his hard and bobbing dick, it was thick and above average, but not too much. Not too much for someone who wasn't a virgin like you were, that is.

You tried to sit up, to get away from him in a bolt of strength you didn't have until now, fighting your omega with as much as you could. But it proved to be no help, as it punished you by making your belly tug and hurt twice more. Your torso fell down on the bed again, powerless by pain, numbness, and the restraint around your wrist.

Damian only cooed, still kneeling above you and between your legs. You cried. You didn't feel his calloused hands holding and caressing your hips, but you felt the blunt wet tip against your entrance. You were ruined.

Your parents would hate you. They would say it was your fault for ignoring their warnings and shoving yourself inside a home full of alphas with no omega. They would kick you out of the pack. And if the Wayne's did good on their word of raping you one after the other, you would probably get pregnant, as you weren't on birth control. That is, if they didn't kill you or kept you hostage in their basement. And even if your pack wanted to, they wouldn't be able to do anything to get justice for you, as the Wayne's were much more influential and rich. You were only going to the same school as Damian because your parents worked as teachers there, for god's sake. You were doomed. And if they decided to mark you…

You cried harder, ashamed of being so aroused now and so dumb all along. For the first time, you hated being an omega.

But all those self-deprecating thoughts were muffled when he finally invaded you. It was slow, gentle, testing how things felt. Damian heaved a breath and buried his face on your neck, breathing your scent deep. It felt amazing, for the both of you. You were so deep in your heat that of course it wasn't going to hurt at all, silly you. Those alphas were right, they are always right. They can take care of you.

— … More… Please, I want more… — You moaned and tried moving your hips against his, forcing his cock to push against your walls faster. Damian's head snapped up, looking at you with interest and lust. You were already cockdrunk, as he was pussydrunk, and he wasn't even halfway inside yet.

He bottomed out with more hurry, after pulling in and out twice to test if you really weren't in pain. He moaned deep against your face before shoving his lips against yours again, while he thrusted his hips. The alpha found the perfect rhythm while pulling almost all the way in and out, in a steady dance. Your moans got louder by the second, your inner omega happy with all the attention you were receiving.

Your free hand shot up to rest on his back, nails digging his scarred skin, not knowing what to do. Damian's hips gradually grew in force, until the bed was shaking and softly hitting the wall. The sound of your hips colliding and your wetness clear as day didn't bother you, as you only started begging for the alpha. To be owned. To be knotted. To be breeded.

— See how I take care of you… — He kissed down your collarbone, murmuring against your skin. — Make you feel good… — One of his hands slid down to grip your thigh, pulling your leg up, purposefully looking for a deeper angle to ravish you. You gasped as he found it, and his thrusts got harder. You mumbled a bunch of agreements to whatever he was saying, you just wanted his knot! — You're my omega now, our omega now… — He softly bit your pouting nipple, being considerate as to not hurt the sensitive and swelling area. Your hand trembled on his back and shot up to pull his hair in an overwhelming wave of pleasure. He pulled weakly at your nipple with his teeth scraping the nerves on the area, until he let it go. — We will stuff you full of cum everyday and every hour… — His lips trailed down your ribs, but the position didn't allow him to go further down. He wanted to leave kisses on your whole body, and now he could do that, because now you weren't escaping them. He growled, resigning himself to traill his lips up through the space between your breasts. Your body trembled with the sound. — Fuck you real good… You will never have to beg, omega, we will spoil you with everything you need, everything you want… — His huge hands trailed up your body until they reached your chest. He squished them for a moment, enjoying how soft they were, and how pliant you were, looking straight into your dazed cockdrunk eyes. Imagining how your perfect pups will look like. Milk started coming out in small drops, so silent that he only noticed when it was dripping down his hand. His eyes shot down to assess the view and his knot started growing at the sight of your swelling breasts and darkened nipples, giving up milk for him, for him, so soft his fingers were digging and moulding the flesh, all while they were dancing up and down, bouncing, seducing him. You were seducing him. You were stunning, ravishing, perfect without even trying. He was happy his pack was the one tying you down to them, he wanted to kill someone just for thinking that someone else could have you like this. — … And you will give us everything we want…

He tentatively, almost hypnotized, leaned down and sucked your stiff nipple between his soft lips, sucking a small amount of milk inside, letting It rest on his tongue for a moment, savouring the taste, before swallowing.

You were sensitive, with a dull ache, but his suckling helped with the pain and sent waves of flickering pleasure against your body. You could feel him forcing his knot with each thrust to fit inside you as it gradually grew, and gasped, whimpering pleas for more. Begging him to keep going and stuff you full. You were both getting close to orgasm. Damian shut his eyes hard, overstimulated with the growing pleasure. He let go of your breast when he started feeling his canines getting more protruded, itching to bite your neck and claim you, his eyes also getting brighter, his inner alpha waiting to take ownership over you. Strip you off the life you had before. Forcing you to subjugate, until the smallest cells in your body knew who you belonged to.

He didn't hold himself, of course, and your first mark soon made home above your collarbone, your souls locking together and the intimacy going to an extraordinary level when you reached the peak of pleasure in tandem, while his knot swelled and made you stuck together, stopping any drop of cum from going to waste.

Every single drop was forced to stay inside of you, and Damian lifted your almost limp head, you both drunk, still coming down from the waves of pleasure, and forced your lips against his neck, his scent gland, and you, whose omega and heat had taken over since the moment his cock invaded you, didn't hesitate to mark him back, locking the bond completely.

— Good omega, good omega…

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